SleepyCabin - SleepyCast Lost Episode [The Drunken Idiocy Hour]

Episode Date: February 14, 2015

We didn't really plan this podcast. Maybe we should have. sleepycabin.com/audio/sleepycast-drunken-idiocy/ This episode starring: Stamper (www.youtube.com/StamperTV) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/Spazkidin3d) Niall (www.youtube.com/Cryburgers) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

This is a sleepy cast lost episode. The Drunken Idiocy Hour, featuring Stamper, Spaz Kid, and Nile. My name is Captain Dickhead. I'm not gay, but I've always wanted to push my dickhole up against another man's dickhole and pee into his body. Hello, hello, hello, hello. All right, so this is propped on the table, so we can't even bump the table. table see yeah see that yeah yeah yeah yeah do that yeah now watch your big gorilla feet Cory I got a big feet all right let's have some fun gentlemen now welcome to sleepy cast

I'm here with stamper TV stamper TV Corey Spaz key do it again I interrupted you welcome to sleepy cast I'm nile I'm here with snapper TV wait uh snap a TV and Corey Spass kid yeah you can just say it's bad kid yeah you can just say it to him Yeah, we just repeat the names in case they didn't hear it the first time. Sweet, dude. And this is the official castor just shooting shit. Well, yeah, well, that's what it's about. We're going to shoot the shit about random things.

We didn't have any topics plans. Actually, yeah, right, right. We don't actually have any fucking topics plan. This is probably the first podcast where we have, like, literally, don't touch the table, man. Good topic. Let's talk about knocking the tables around. Talk about touching table. But this is the first podcast, I think, that we have, like, no, nothing.

We don't even know what we're going to talk about. So this is, like, as natural. We don't know this is going to be an episode. Yeah, we just sat down. said let's do a podcast. So this is natural. This actually hasn't happened until the first episode.

Yeah. All right, so here's an idea, gentlemen. Yes. We have a moment of silence, and the first person to have a legitimate topic, just shoot it out, all right? But we have to be quiet for at least 10 seconds to think of a legitimate topic.

Corey, nothing to some random shit off the top of your head. I was going to say cinnamon buns, but that is a terrible topic. Okay, let's do the 10 seconds. Like Pillsbury? Cinnamon buns. Yeah, those first time I came out of.

It's delicious. Pillsbury. Pillsbury. No, 10 seconds. 10 seconds. We'll think of something better than Pillsbury. Let me tell you. All right. Ten seconds. Ten seconds.

Yo, man, I'm still with Pillsbury. Let's talk about Pillsbury. All the thing I was thinking about this 10th. Okay, so fucking cinnamon buns are good. God damn. No, no. Let's talk about actually like Pillsbury. Okay, wait, I got an idea. All right, so it's recently come to my attention

that the grand majority of our fan base, probably a good 90s and 95% are males. So why don't we do a female-oriented show? Well, we talk about female stuff. So what do we know about, okay, period pads? What's your opinion? I don't know. Tampons, period pads?

Stop. Wait, wait. Are you more of a tampon guy or a period? Stop! That's insensitive. Stop. That's insensitive. What is that insensitive?

Girls are all about periods, Nile. I know, but have you ever heard of princesses and unicorns? Wait, listen. Okay, I just need to defend myself here because I'm not saying that girls are all about periods. I'm saying the only thing to distinguish males and females is the females have a period. We're all the same. We're all one. That's my, that's, okay, I defend it myself.

Babies come from butts. I think it is something good. Babies come from butts now. No. Men have butts. I don't understand why you want of this tangent about tampons when we all know babies come from butts. Women are strong and powerful and individual and... When they're in bed.

Cory, you... Gatim again. Ruined a sentimental moment. Oh, let's not even get into that shit. Okay, so the female topic... Well, fuck, it's better than cinnamon buns. God. Dude, whatever.

If we're doing a female-oriented thing, let's talk about females and how they're... You know what? You know what's up for you're talking about? You better watch your mouth, man. You know what I hate about females? Well, I don't know what you're gonna... No, I was gonna say, we were discussing it, but we were gonna say how chicks take forever to get to a point of something when they're on topic about something. Oh, yeah.

Like they'll beat around the bush to there's no bush left and then they'll finally get to the meat. Unless some of them do with bushes. It's because they're emotional creatures. It's because they're emotional creatures. I understand that, but it's like when a guy's saying something, it's like you say. A guy's like, oh shit, dude, I stumb my foot today and it fucking sucked. I like, fuck my knee up. And you're like, yeah, I understand.

And then a girl, a girl would open it up and she'd be like, you know, it was, I already was having such a horrible day when I woke up. I woke up knowing that today was going to be horrible because I had to go shopping later. My favorite pen was out of ink and then I went downstairs and there was clothes in the dryer and and then, and then... And then And then you're like And then you stubbed your foot

You're like no The worst part I forgot my makeup I had to go back upstairs You're like No You just started a fucking story over The one thing that I noticed

Was they always talk about like People from work Oh yeah Like I never talk about people from work Because you don't care You're like I go to work I hate those people

I talk about people from work all the time Fuck Nile Fuck Corey For Chris No but listen They're not even here So that's it comes from somewhere You're sitting right there my friend

That's bented. They're in sleepy land right now. That's true. Zach and Chris are too busy thinking about how to make the dees. They're lost. They're missing on our first woman bashing podcast where we're going to get in a lot of fucking trouble. I like girls. We're not women bashing.

I like girls. We like girls. And this is true to. I'm sorry. This is supposed to be positive girl podcast. This is the girl podcast. Sorry. Oh, let's talk about positive stuff.

Tempons. They got tities. Damn it. We got butts. And they can fart from their butts and their tities can jiggle. No, but that's what I'm saying. You know the way... What else matters?

Wait, Corey, you know the way, like, girls say girls don't fart? Girls fart. Yeah, they fart twice as much because they can fart from two more holes than we can. Oh, my God, now, shut up. No, you know it's true, Spart. You know it's true. And they come because their orgasms are more exciting. What?

They are. They got multiple fucking orgasms, dude. I'm so sorry, I started this topic. You know when you're like... Our one female fan... I have a question... She doesn't fart. I have a question for all you, you breastfeeding girls out there.

It's not gonna like this. Let me finish that thought. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, so like, God, no. Now it's all men. All the question. Our demographic, first of all, is mostly males, right? Strong males with big dicks.

And then there's some, then there's some females. Okay, so what ratio like that of the demographic of big dix? Pregnant lactating women do we have? I think it is literally zero. That's not true. Really?

Yeah, I had a guy. I say like 0.7 to point 7. Yeah, 0.7. And you know who you are. We're looking at you. We're looking at you. She's lactating right now. Do you know, man can lactate?

Yeah, I found that out the other day. That's true. Don't tell me you didn't try it when you found that out of the other. You know what that also means? Man can get breast cancer too. It's fucked up. Yeah, I was actually, I know it's really stupid, but I actually thought I had breast cancer

because my nipples were like chafing and I'm like, this isn't normal? Why is this one breast chafing? And then I found out later, it's probably because I fucking slept like this and it just ripped it while I was asleep. No, it's breast cancer. It's probably breast cancer.

But I checked today and they're evenly sized tithies now. That's terrible. Like if a man- What the hell are you talking about? This is important female conversations. If a man is breast cancer, it's not only like embarrassing and it shouldn't be, but like, okay, so you have to do what having cancer? But then you have to do with like telling your friends you have breast cancer, there's no doubt they're laughing. That's fucking sucks.

Oh yeah, every time that happens, dudes are probably like, sucks, man, I have cancer. And they're like, you have cancer, what kind of cancer? And you're like, I have cancer. I'd like to take my... like I have breast cancer and I'm not a shit of it but I probably be like you got titty cancer you fucking nerd yeah push you over I probably say like steal your money I know I'd like to say that they call you a nerd you got titty cancer fucking nerd I'd like to think that I would steal your wallet I'd like they gotta be a spokesperson for men with

breast cancer make it like you know put put it on the front lines but I would say matter breast cancer is not funny but it's the concept it can be funny it's funny with the idea it can be funny that idea would be like guys I have breast cancer Like, you couldn't even get dick cancer? You had to get fucking breast cancer? If I had... Girls have breast. If I had breast cancer, I'd like to think that I would say, yeah, I have breast cancer

and just be like a spokesman for men with breast cancer. Make it not embarrassing. But I know I'd say, like, you have, like, nut cancer. Oh, you mean, like, the first guy that, like, steps up as the spokesman. For premature ejaculation or something. If Arnold Schwarzenegger... Like, I don't mean to be mean, but if Arnold Schwarzenegger got, like, breast cancer... And people will be like...

Yeah, I'm already laughing at the concept that. I know it's fucked up. I know, exactly. I have blood guns It's like, yeah, you played a chick at one point What was that, junior? He played a chick. Didn't he play a guy who had a baby?

Yeah, he wasn't a chick. He was just a guy who had a baby. Really? He was a man that had a baby. I was always confused with that. Like, did he push the baby out of his ass? Was he pretty? Wasn't that in a...

Oh, yeah, he had to have a C-section, I guess. Corey said that babies come out of books. That's true. That is true. Did you not forget what I said? All right, but look, gentlemen, it is November. November. It's men

It is men Testicular Awareness Month Is it really? Yeah it actually I swear to God it is This month It's also a national holiday Where we celebrate

This gives a good talk To talk about like You know What we're talking about I think it's a good Vaginas Girls naked Fon-Funkie

All things female All things female Misogynistic themes Yeah Well no no Wait wait wait Back up there One or two

One or two themes there Corey Dude I'm not Insensitive. I'm just horny. Sweet. Yes. I'm both insensitive and horn. Let me tell you something. All right. If there's one thing when I play a game, the girl better have titties and they better be real real-reel. Gamergate.

He's just going to say that anything that's like slightly misogynistic? No, it's like a, it's like pro-negative reversal Gamer-gate. It's like, you know, Gamer-gate. Gamer-gain. Yeah. Get on board. It's all inflection. It's true. Again, say when I play a game... When I play a game, there better be butts and tities. Game a game. Yeah.

Or titty's and butts. Gamer. Tidies and butts. Gamer. Tidies and ass. Game. But. Titties. Gamer. Titties. Gamer. Gamer. Gamer. Gat. Gamer. Gave. Gave. Gave. Gave. Sweet, dude. Gamer.

Yeah. All right, so girls. You misogynist. Whatever. Let me tell you the pro. about girls, okay? They always cheer me up when I'm feeling blue. They smell nice? Yeah. They do smell fucking divine. Guys can smell nice too. That's not fair.

No, no, not the way a girl smells nice. Yeah. That's not true. There's girly guys. Well, no, no, there's guys that do smell nice, but it's like, yeah, he smells good. But then if the girl walks by, you're just like, ah, yeah, it's comforting. No, I can go both ways, dude, I'm telling you. So you can get confident? You gotta open your mind and open your peehole. I've never dropped my guard around a guy that smelled nice.

I never been like, ugh. Yeah, do you want to, do you want to, like, a guy to hold you if he smells nice to do you? What if he is high? Well, oh yeah, I forgot. I don't really swing that. Yeah, okay. That's fair, though. Exactly.

I agree. So they can swing both ways. Am I in the minority here? Well, that you're not fucking both guys and girls? Yeah, probably. If that's the minority, you fucking unheaded, open-eyed, idiot, be bigoted, retard, dupia. Don't be-eyed, dork nerd, faggot. womanizer

Jesus like a sound like a Yu-Gio dragon or something Blue-ey's white womanizer Gamergate

It comes outside And it's like What's a What's a Mazzati That's how The vast majority Is a feminist

You guys This is a fucked up podcast We're gonna get Crucified For this one Yeah

Honest Honest Truth Policy In this podcast Honesty Truthful And

truthful and honest. I support honesty. Even if they're wrong in my eyes, I still support the idea of honesty. If someone that you know for 100% some fact is wrong, but they're being honest, they're 100% true. I don't know if we could... We should die. You can't fault them. If we're diving into the topic of like

the whole concept of Gamergate, originally Gamergate was... I don't want to talk about Gamergate? No. No. I think that should be just Gamergate. You're digging into Gamergate. He's gotten horny. Wrong. He wants a little bit of... Wrong.

Neatsoc. Anita Sarkozen should go down on her knees. We're not diving into Anita Sardesia. Fuck that, D. It's not even her name. Arnita down on her kneesian. That's what he's meant to say. Ha, ha. Anita down on her niece in.

How marvelously humorous. Sweet dude. All right, no, real topic. Nile, topic. Do you ever see, like, deformed people, like, in fucking on the street, but, like, you don't want to look at them? Like rotten.com. Yeah, no, yeah, no. But you, like, look away.

Like your mama. No, but did you see rotten.com? They had that partner section. Oh, in 1996. But you know what I'm talking about? I know exactly what you're talking about. I found rotten.com by accident. I was like, oh, if you type in a word and then put dot com at the end, it's more than likely a place.

That's upsetting. And then I was like, rotten.com. And it was like, uh-oh. Opsies. I learned about the internet real quick. Yeah, that happened to me too. It was like, you know, every see like, do you remember the blonde albums? Rotten.com, if you sign up, it's like $12 for membership, you can get the,

craziest freak show shit. You got a membership, Tervon? You can. I didn't. I took the free tour. Liar! I took the free tour on the cheat bus,

and I fucking went through three pages until they closed it down. I was like, all right, Creepo, fucking make a partnership, you can see the rest of the goods. But I took that free tour, and I was like, this is weird,

and uncomfortably hot. And then it closed me out before I could get into it. But yeah, if we're talking about free shows, you know what? I've never seen porn-wise. You know, like, was, I was gonna, I was gonna be rude

and say, bitches. You know those polite females who have their fucking heads sewed together? Yeah. Have you ever seen them fuck? No, but have seen them giving a big blowjob. What are you talking about? Do you know when like two girls have like conjoined as? Yeah, yeah did you see the ball by the head?

Yeah, or like something like that. Have you ever seen them have sex? They have like a wiener bounce from their mouths like back. Yeah, have you seen that? There was this... Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. There were these two blonde, uh, conjoined twins and uh, they were on like fucking Oprah. and shit and they were like these nice they were normal

American teenagers but a normal American teenagers but they photo leaked of them giving some dude head. That's cool. Yeah and like it was just weird. It was so fucking bizarre. But you don't see that. Like when I'm looking at porn I'm not like, Siamese conjoined twins sucking dick. I'm just like tinnies Yeah, uh nice butt

Bottle. Bout holes. Burt holes. Brett bottles, sir, sir. Okay, we're all butt guys here right? Yeah, we're butt guys. We're all but guys. I would if there was a Siamese twin and a She was conjured at the head and they were turned around? Why don't she had two butts? Let's call this. Two perfect butts?

Let's call this the misogyny episode. So first we bash women and then we talk about their asses and what we like about their asses. The following podcast is a paradigm. It should not be taken seriously here. Not either use a sleepy cabin or sleepy cabin. Whatever. This is completely taken against sleepy cabin. Okay.

That is a fucking bullshit because there is nice guy asses just like there's nice girl asses. That's true. That's true. You got to look. You know what? Here's the thing you need to think of. When you flip a quarter, there's two fucking sides. There's not one side.

You either head or tails. But it's the same fucking thing. No, no, no, Corey. I actually know what you mean. Like, okay, if someone showed a guy ass, right? A nice guy ass. And they kind of photoshopped out the balls and the dick, and you told me that was a girl ass. I'd be like, kind of.

I hope they'd fully photoshopped. Yeah, well, unless they photoshopped it kind of until there's a little bit of a slit left or something. Yeah. But, uh, and they said, that's a girl butt. I'll be like, oh, yeah. And it's like, just kidding. That makes you gay. You got to tell you dad and I'll get beat.

Everyone has looked at someone from behind when they're driving by and go, oh, yeah. And then they turn around his big beard. Everyone has done this. Yeah, but then I'm probably in my mind going to jerk off with me. Yeah, but you're still going to be like, yeah. Yeah, like that's the difference. I'm going to think about the plump butt I just saw. I'm not going to think about the hairy bear that was connected to it.

Yeah. You have dial. Hey, the way you're taking me. I'm trying to understand your point. Just be, like, I don't necessarily, it doesn't, you know. There's another thing that confused. You were the one that said that every now and again, you might see a. she-mail and you say, oh, wow, she's hot.

But when you see the wiener... Dude, sh-mails can't be fucking hot. When you see the wiener, you're like, well, I can't take back my guy's all. If there's a fucking beautiful girl and she happens to have a dick, and a guy says that she's not fucking hot, they're bullshitting. They are. That is bullshit. They might just not like the dick, but

they still like this. Yeah, that's perfectly acceptable. I just, you know, it's a dick and balls. It's like... Nile. I have a question. Have you ever seen somebody... You know, like, those girls to get those, like, dildos that have, like, two prongs, one for the ass and one fuck question. Oh, the The jack rabbits, I don't know how I know that.

Have you ever seen a dick like that? No. Have you ever seen porn with that? You mean like a real wiener? I have at one point in my life. The guy has like two weeners? Oh yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, it's one of those things that'll be burning your head.

He has two big wieners. No, it was kind of small. He saw her all the big wieners. It was small. It was like a pinky connected to a dick, but it was still like for the ass. What was it like a pinky finger? Did I have a nail on it? It had all the dick accessories, but it was just connecting out the side of it.

They had a little tiny pair of balls and everything. No, it was just the heck. It was like the shaft hole. Sweet dude. And he was like, she was like, oh, let me suck on your pinky dick. And then, I've seen it, but it's like forever burning in my head. So he shoots like a big load out of his main one and then a little tiny like out of his little one. Yeah, like little bubbles.

Yeah, like little bubbles and little tiny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you'd imagine if you tried to get the hole where the jizz would come out, it would like explode the tip of it, like a firecracker that didn't go off right. Mm-hmm. That's an important thing you remember when you have two dicks. Dix come appropriately that's true yeah sweet dude yes yeah can you think of any other like What I guess the topx you think every time he jerks off think every time he jerks off he accidentally Get some in his eye as well and he's like god damn it it's like all like he forgets he has a second Later just no he's probably used to it yeah isn't there like a vegetable that has like two heads

Like a ginsing root yes I think they just look like two dicks well I just sort of agreed with you you're right yes but each their own I guess but if we're going to talk about what freaks. That guy's dick look like a ginseng re. Let's talk about the biggest freak of the mom. I don't think he wants us to talk about this. You just him in the face. It's one time I walked into you when you were sitting down peeing in the bathroom, eating like

a cookie from wawa or something. I swear to God you got up and you had some fucking like skin tag or something on your ass. It was really long. It was like a loose skin tag. That was his balls, dude. No, I swear to God, it was like a tag you get on the back of your shirt. I'm not even fucking

kidding. But it was a, it was like a fucking huge one, like a stem, like where a fucking tail used to be. Was it near my anus? It was an area near there, yeah. It was poop hanging out, Corey? Are you sure? Yes, it was peach color. Do you dye your fucking poop?

Dude, no. It eats a lot of peaches. When I poop, it never comes out all the way. I push and I push. No, that was connected to your fucking... I have to grab the poop with my hand and pull it the rest of the way out and drop it in the toilet.

Your fucking spinal cord, I can see your goddamn spine. Oh, it's my tail. Yeah. It's my tail. Have one. Yeah. I was fucking wondering that. You freak show?

See, everyone's a little bit of a freak. Just look around your body. You know about this for the podcast. Oh, yeah. That's actually, what is that? It's just pinky. Do you know about that? Did I tell you about that?

No. When I was, this is true. I swear to God, this is true. That looks like a second protruding finger. That's what it is. Are you serious? Yeah, when I was in my mom's wound, or womb, sorry. Same difference.

Yeah, wound as well. But I was growing like six fingers and it stopped. growing for some reason. Yeah, you got a little baby finger. It's called polydactylai. I swear to God, it's real. I have actual, like, cave carvings in my ass. Yeah, but dude, someone will have to actually go to your ass and carve those.

No, it's not like... Yeah, and like 13 BC. No, it's not like fucking B.C. cave carvings that you see in, like, cartoons and shit. It's like carvings. Like, alien carvings and shit. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I don't talk about it because it's stupid. I'm not going to be like, yeah, I got

carved in the ass by aliens. If you walk by I pulled my anus out, rolled it out like a blue... If you walk by a magnet, does your butt hole hurt a little bit? Um, no. But I used to fuck CD cases. Like the big sticks that you stick CDs in,

I used to ride those when I was a kid. Really? Yeah. I, uh, I fucked the toilet paper, um, holders. I tried to put a banana in my ass, but it squished and shit and fucking... I couldn't fit it all the way in it. It squished half a...

Dude, that's why you wear a condom on the banana and do it. I tried to lick the tip of my finger, but I didn't do much. How many Sharpies are? can you fit in your anus? I could fit a magic marker in my utus. Whoa dude, that's the next level. And it disappears like Houdini. I put a purple magic marker

in my anus and I tried to shoot it out like I saw all those girls doing the porno. The ping pongs? I tried to shoot it out. Do you know they have vagina ping pong? I went like championships. I thought moving your legs or creating tension would shoot it out but it just sort of went more farther in and I pulled it out and the fucking cap went off so I had to like still in there to this day. That's, I have like all these weird markings of my ass.

Probably infections. Sweet. Cool, dude. No. Let's talk about the stuff we put in our asses because I know everyone's experimented with putting stuff in their ass when they were young. I tried to fuck a CD case with a black bag. Oh, that was true.

That's true. I try to put a banana in my ass with normal, and then I try to put a banana in my ass with coconut oil to no prevail. Like the banana's going to squit. That's why you freeze the banana, put a condom on it, and then put it in your ass. What? Isn't it cold?

Yes, but it adds to the stimulation. Now, if you put a cold banana on your anus, he'll stick to it and rip the rims of your ass apart. That's actually an urban myth. That doesn't happen. That's actually urban truth. No, no, no, no. It's not. And it ripped his anus apart.

Yeah. I'm just going to sit here and eat popcorn. You guys keep going. Stamper, that what happened to you got skin tag on your ass? Stamper, this isn't fair. Talk about the things you put in your ass when you were a kid. Blood plugs. You didn't put the name when you were a kid.

You didn't even know what a book. Oh, you mean. When you were a kid. When you were experimenting the fruits of anal The fruits of anal Not when I was a kid I never put anything in my ass You had to put something in your ass

My finger Yeah but you had to experiment You had to like take your fucking like bed sheets And like create like different kinds of Cotubbs to fucking use this I didn't put things in my ass Until like four years ago And it's great

It's great Is that true? I was old enough to buy sex toys I bought lots and lots of sex toys I put so much stuff up my ass some stuff is still up there. Do you ever see those butt plugs that are like in the shape of a fist?

No, I... Oh, yeah. Did you ever try that? No, they're too big. I was afraid, like, my parents would walk into me while I was putting stuff in my ass, so I used to go out in the backyard on a lawn chair and figure myself with instruments

that I found around the house that were put. Sweet dude. You're going to get crucified for this podcast. What about a hedge clipper? So what's the biggest thing you fit in your ass apart from your dad's dick? My dad's dick. I never put my dad's dick.

No, he put it in there. Yeah, he put it in. Freddie Mercury? Yeah. Freddie Mercury? Meurri. I can't say Mercury normal. Oh, wait, here's, yeah, here's something interesting, Corey.

Say egg. Egg. Egg. Egg. Egg. What? Egg. What limb makes you walk?

Legs. You say legs. Legs. I know a guy named Fred. What's his name? Fred. Egg. Eggs.

Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs! Corae says eggs for eggs. I say Mercury too for Mercury.

Miercury. You're adding like four syllables. Meerkery. Miercary. Miercary. What can you say that's weird? What can you say that's weird? I can't remember what it is...

Oh, anonymity. I don't count. That's hard. Say a real word that people say every day. Well, I'm Irish, so I say words that you guys... Say pickle. Pickle. Pickle.

Do you want me to say that or do you want me to say the actual one? What did Peter Pygoo? Peter Piper picked a pack of pickle peppers. If Peter Piper Piper Pekker Pekper is Peter Piper Piper Pekker is Peter Piper Pekker. Peter Piper Peker Peker. Say something. Me? Yeah, say penis.

Petus. Say penis. Paneus. Paneus. Sweet, dude. Oh, so we talked about freak shows and we talked about girls. If you're getting like kegs of beer, what would you call them? Kegs?

Cegs. I can't say A for E. I say E. For anything E. If you can think of a word that goes E, or E, I go E. Then you go E, E, E, it doesn't matter what it is. If it's eggs or E, anything, I'm going to say E, like a fucking Canadian. Let's go outside, E.

Yeah. I'm Canadian, E. I was born in the Alps, E. All right, it's time for the rapid fire question round. Go! I'm going to ask you both questions, and you have to answer them as fast as you can without thinking. Go. Corey, the first video game console you ever bought that you regretted.

The PlayStation. The PlayStation 1? Yeah, because I didn't have any... I just had shitty golf games. Oh, okay. Nile, the clothing company you absolutely despise. Fucking Diesel. Diesel?

Yeah. They got good watches and jeans and shoes and shit. Those sons of bitches. And PlayStation had Symphony of the Night, man. I had fucking stupidest sports games. You don't have the same experiences. Just because you have a console I never regret

I had a regret My first time I got a PlayStation I got a bunch of shitty games Then my friends had a PlayStation They had a bunch of good games But my console fucking sucked That's fair Because you're only as good as your games

Exactly But I still like the PlayStation It's just it was the worst purchase at the time Because I'm my first one Current Man Crush Uh Hugh Jackman Yeah I think that's a given for everybody

Oh you want a different one No no no no no That was a good one That was a solid answer Hugh Jackman. Men that you find very attractive, go. This is the gayest podcast ever.

No, it's not. Genuinely handsome men. Let me think. I'll come back to you in that one. If you were at back in quarters and then you had ten cents. I'm just going to sprinkle them throughout this episode as I remember them.

I'm going to think about men this whole thing. Hundreds of them. Now, a train leaves to go to Nevada and then another train leaves five minutes later. And then that train goes five times faster, will they arrive at the same time? No.

Yes. No, they won't because he left five minutes later. The only one's going five times faster. Well, it depends on what speed they're going. He's going the same speed because he left five times faster. Where are they leaving from to go to Nevada? I read that on the back of... A Snapple fucking, like, cap.

Yes, and I still remember it because it blew my line. Actually, it was on the back of like some fucking Irish food or something. It was like on some, like, Tatoes, like onion chips or some shit. Oh yeah, we got Tato's. You know about Tato's? Yeah, they had a math riddle and I failed it. Yeah, Ireland's not the only place it has potatoes. Okay.

Tatos. It's a brand of... First of all, if we're talking about Ireland and those tatoes, those things tasted like the fucking cornstarch thing, packaging things that were from the 80s. Okay, tatoes are the very first crisp or potato chip, as you guys call them in the world. Those are those things you fucking package food in. You know those fucking things that they're poisonous now? Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Who's that guy that played Magneto in the new X-Men movies? Oh, Magneto. Yeah, he was sexy. Yeah, he's fucking hot. Wait, wait, wait. I don't know who that is. No, I do know how that is. Listen, I don't know.

If I find him sexy, fucking... I'm usually looking at him from behind. Yeah, I feel you there. They feel me. Dang, I can't remember his name, but... We need another topic. He's a ton of stuff. We should have wrote on topics before we started.

That new X-Men movie was pretty good, though. It was alright. Well, it was the only X-Men movie I've seen. He's got like a German name. Wesley Snipes? No. No? He's like the scary black man.

Roger Ebert. No. Richard Taylor, Ron Paul. Yes. Max Paine. Michael Fastbender. Michael Fastbender. I told you.

He's Irish, by the way. I would let him kiss me on the mouth, son. That man is handsome. He's got a smile that just won't quit. I bet he's got a dick that just won't quit. He's got a butt that won't go on retired. Snobber calls him Michael Asbender because he wants to bend him over and fuck him the ass. cycle fast bender.

We need dive into shit, man. I can't think. We're all fucking tired. I think... I'm not tired. I just can't think of topics. Considering I'm tired of where we're doing okay. It's all...

Look, dude, we could sit here and talk about... I want some burr. I want some burr. We can sit here and talk about... We can't have any... You don't have any... We're all out. No, it's fine.

You don't need it. What are we going to talk about? What are we going to talk about? Uh... All right. So, anyways, me and Nile and Corey went to, uh, went out for a Mexican. food tonight. It's true. We went to a Mexican place and didn't order any Mexican food. We just

drank a lot of beer and had some bomb-ass chicken wings. That's true. And you can never go wrong with chicken wings. But we did get to the topic of tipping towards the end. Oh yes. Oh, tipping. And this is something that like growing up, my, my mother was always in the field of waitress. She's always been a waitress. She was a waitress for about eight years of her life. And she's got big ass titties too. That's the main thing. Yes. But the thing, the thing is like my mom always taught me like what's the actual thing you're supposed to tip like 12% I think it's 15 my mom said you should always tip 5 or 10% more because you think about the concept of tipping it's like what if someone's having a shitty day and they're always expecting

to get under the table tips and then you give them that 15 to 20% that's them coming back to the work being like you know I got tipped like 20 bucks yesterday and everyone else gave me like $4 I love to people knowing that I did that and lets me know that I'm a good worker. And it's like, even if it's like, and it's shitty because sometimes you go to places and you can't tip and you really want to, so it's good to just do what you can.

And I know I'm like Britain and stuff you don't tip. It's like fucking unheard of, like bringing up past skeletons. Yeah, it's like you did a good job and everything you've been working for. Like you, it pays off in the end. The one thing I don't understand is two things. One where like, tonight was a perfect example. We were seated by one person.

A waitress came up. Another waitress came over. A different guy brought her food out. So it's like four or five people waited on our table. And when we get the bill at the end, we're like, who the fuck are we tipping? Because two of those people were fucking assholes. One of them was really cool. And then one of them was really cool.

So it's like, I hope she gets to fucking money. One of them came up and was like condescending to the choices we made. It's like, are you fucking serious? We come here and buy your food. Oh, that guy? Yeah, he came home and us. Our choices are fucking like, oh, you're going to save more money. We got four...

What are you? We got four fucking car insurance dealer? We got four fucking plates of wings But we got the small wings But there's still plenty Dude, I swear to God He said it got large I swear to God

Yeah I swear to God It was in a fucking Geico commercial The way he delivered that We wanted the different flavors That's all It had like nine different flavors And fucking wings there We got one of each

I wasn't thinking Geez can we have 48 wings Or can we just experience The fucking Jelly Beans of all I was gonna be like Uh Once you

I just got four different flavors of fuck off and then I didn't do it If he would have said that He would have been like Boys take care of this nuisance They come in with pets Nobody cares about the damn waitresses

They come in with bats and snakes With rattles on their bag And beat you to death of them Oh and two, the other thing I don't understand Is when They have like the global tip jar Where like regardless of who's doing what All your tip money goes into one global jar

That they split at the end of the night Yeah Oh, really? I don't like that. I go to like Duncan's like every day and there's like three tip jars and I'm just like, well, that's like Dunkin' Donuts. I like this register. There's legitimate restaurants where all the waitresses turn their tips in and then at the end of the night they just split it equally. Yeah. Which I get the concept of, but it's like, that bitch over there is a miserable asshole that's treating everyone like shit.

And she's over here trying really fucking hard to do a good job and she had a fucking terrible day. And despite all that, she deserves the money, you know? That's true. And it's like, remember that one time he went to Outback. And you can definitely tell the experience people are going through. You can see it on their face. You can see if they're having a shitty day. Because the ones who are humble and trying to be there for you

or trying their hardest to be there for you. And the people who are assholes and come by maybe once to give you water and never check back again, clearly don't care. They're just like, oh, it's just a job. But the ones who actually care will go the extra mile to care. And that's why you tip it. You know what's funny is we went back there

when you weren't there and she was like, oh, you guys were the guy, people who fucking were handsome Amazing people. But it was Stamper that did the tipping. I remember that day. You did, I don't know if you want me to say this, but you did the thing that a true hero would do. You didn't tell anybody that you gave a huge tip, but I saw

that. I saw how much it made her day. I looked over and Stamper just kind of gave her the handshake and gave her, I don't know how much you gave her, but she was like A million dollars. She just looked at you and she goes, oh my God, thanks. Dude, she's got bags under her eyes. Yeah, she was.

Hanging down to her titty. She's so tired. She probably is to go back to her kids. She definitely is screaming all day. Fucking smashing pots together, watching Dora and Diego all night. That woman is miserable. She needs all the, she doesn't even need money. She just needs a fucking hug.

That's all she needs from this cruel, ruthless life that she's living. She looked like she was cosplaying as a gothic model because her fucking eyes were so dark. Yeah. Yeah, she was just tired, man. It was like a Tim Burton tryout. We were like realistically tired. And that's not even like the thing. The thing is she tried her heart as she was still smiling and nice as fuck.

You know what shitty? My mom would come home. And then when she had a shitty day tipping, she would just break down. And she would tell me all the people who shit on her all day. Like I remember this one time. And it literally pissed me off. Like if I was there, I don't even care if they were, you know, something societal to where I fucking work. They're pieces of shit.

It was these fucking six construction workers who thought, oh, since I'm building. building a road and fucking putting the building blocks, why should I care about anything? I'm already higher up. They came in there, laughed, fucking trek, dirt in, shit all over the table, and they reached in their pockets and fucking drop change on the table. There was six or seven people and they were there for two hours, drinking coffee and eating food. They spent $170 and they tipped four pennies. Is it true that black people don't do it? Yes! Is that actually true?

It is true. When I delivered pizza, I never got a tip from a black person. And that's not originally. I don't know. Dude, let me tell you something. I delivered it very well. I rang the doorbell. I'm like, here's your delicious pizza.

And they're like, thanks. Slam! That's it. Stereotype. Well, that's not fair. I'm sure they do, Tim. Check your privileges. What?

Check your privileges. Your privileges are out of 40. Yeah, you were about a 20. Yeah, your privileges are pretty high right now. Here's the thing. You know, this is completely true. Do you know why it's called a stereotype? Because they're generally true?

Yeah. Yeah. That's not true because they say that black people are all about fried chicken as bullshit. Why should they get all fried chicken? Fried chicken is delicious. I've never met one person in my entire life that doesn't like fried chicken. No, stereotypes are twisted in turn. Then we get new stereotypes.

They just evolved. They change form. Not all stereotypes. They're still not fucking Mama Jalama back in the past with this. Antimima, you mean? Yeah. She's not still fucking, she doesn't have like... He doesn't even have Antrimanian Ireland.

She doesn't even have cornrows and all this shit. She's not making stuff for a wholesome farm family. All right, so we've been plainly racist, Texas. I'm not being racist. I'm explaining how stereotypes aren't how they used to be. Let's just take a minute to appreciate. This is the new age modernized stereotypes. Mama Jalima.

Mama Jalema makes great rice and beans. She makes pancakes, Naga. You're not going. I don't think like we were being racist. We're not being racist. I'm just explaining stereotypes. White people. I was saying that this isn't the 50s anymore.

The only school shooters that I know were fucking white. We have our faults. Yeah, I'm not saying like fucking white guys are the superiority, but it's just kind of like... Like you said, black people aren't how they used to be in the 50s cartoons. Like, everything's all good now. It was just white animators representing them in weird ways. It's not like back then. If you watch old like Popeye cartoons how they fucking show off Asians, it's not as far a pretty sight.

Popeye was ruthless. Did you see the way he used to, they used to draw Japanese guys? Yeah. And they'd actually... The Chucho and this is Bob in the American. And they'd make them look exactly the same, like every one of them. They were all the same.

And these crazy slainty eyes. You know, if we're talking about, like, racism... Those are like wartime cartoons. If we're talking about racial racism, let's talk about racism in that sense. Cartoons, if we're talking about cartoons in the past, holy shit, man, they were diving into, like, like, Hitler and Semitism and all this crazy shit.

And it's just like, really, dude, segregation? Is that really a topic for me? Mickey Mouse? I'm sure they still play Looney Tunes on TV. Yeah, probably on like... When I grew up, Bugs Bunny and all those guys were still smoking cigars and shit and drinking out a bottle with three X's

and shit on them. Did they cut all that out? Like, they drink like energy drinks and that's enough for them. Like how they like changed like when a Dragon Ball character's drinking beer clearly in the cartoon they like superimposed the word root in front of beer.

So it's like, oh they're drinking root beer. This amber colored root beer At least it's not fucking insensitive Like Pokemon where he's like He's clearly holding like a rice ball And he's like these hot dogs They're delicious Yeah

This is I mean like there's some Like rice is that bad Yeah it's like Who gives the fuck It's a sticky rice ball You're not just gonna say like sticky rice ball You know if I was a kid and they were talking about sticky rice balls

And they were enjoying them I'd be like dude that looks fucking delicious Yeah they didn't look good But if they're holding like rice balls Or they're making fucking dumpling soup, which is like some, like, you know, some Japanese stew. And they're like, well, that chili looks good. It's like, motherfucker, there was fish in that. Dude, I've never heard of that.

And then you have rice balls over. Are you saying that's hot dogs? Let me tell you. I'm a kid, so I know what a fucking hot dog and pizza looks like. I had hot dogs for lunch. Yeah. Bitch. So it's like either you're talking down to me or you think I'm fucking blind.

But either way, fuck you. Kids are little geniuses, man. Kids know what's up. It's true kids, too. When I was a kid, I could tell when I was getting tucked down. to and I could tell when I was being respected and you want to know something, when most cartoons talk down to people, they didn't do good

and the cartoons that pulled fucking levers and were like, hey, you're an adult, check this out. Yeah. Fucking did good. And it's like topics. Like it's just like different things like that. Like you know when you're growing up with just all this shit when you watch like these baby programs teaching you and obviously some shows are good for like life lessons

and stuff but people know when they're being talked down to and they don't want to be talked down to. They want to be talked to like an adult and kids are the same way. Kids are smarter than you give them credit for it. Yeah, granted they don't know how to change a tire and make spaghetti and shit, but they know when they're... They understand human being. Yeah, they're just

like everyone else. Let me tell you something. I went on a camping trip once, right? And my mom and dad pitched a tent over there, and then I pitched a tent over there. It had nothing to do with weeners yet. But I was laying awake in my tent

and I heard my mom moaning. And I was like, I know they're not fighting. And No, they're not wrestling. Something sexual over there was going on. She was doing her bear calls. She was doing her bear calls just to get rid of the bears. And I was really little, and I knew.

I knew that my mom was fucking on a camper trip under the moonlight. And she thought that I didn't know that she was fucking. I was smart. Is your mom a lot of money? And she came back and she's like, you're like, mom, why are you screaming yesterday? She's like, I had to put a bandaid on. It was really, it hurt a lot. It's like, yeah, with dad's wiener.

What if that was true? What if his dad's, He was just like, whole steady now. And he just had his weener and the band-aid on top trying to stick it on. He's like, I'm gonna pull this out. I'm gonna count the three and pull it out. One and,

and then she came over to my tent and made me eat her butt hole out. Yeah, like, we like to be tucked down to. We like to be treated like in dolls. Yeah, even when you're a kid, you know, and you're being talked down to. Oh, yeah. It's like, um, you know,

they had all these talkers come in, right? They're throwing confetti in your fucking face and they're like showing off all this stuff. And you're just like, This just makes you want to do it more because you're fucking nerds. And then you see like someone who's like, listen, I'm cool. And I went to jail and got fucked. Right, so don't do this.

And you're like, oh, I don't want to get raped. Yeah. It sounds like a good idea. Who'd brag about that, though? Oh, you gotta do. You know what to jail like a fuck? No. He's not bragging about it.

He's like, listen, all right? Every morning I woke up and you know what they made me do? They made me put a different tattoo on my ass for when they were going to fuck me. I was branded by six different people. That's what happened in high school. And I was like, whoa, dude, I don't want to do that shit. That's scary. And they were just like straightforward with us.

And it's like kids need that. You need to go to like kids' seminars and talk to the dangers of getting fucked. Dude. No, dude, adults are fucking idiots, man. They really are. And it's all those people that were preaching to you in high school, they're like fucking 28. 28 year olds know nothing. Nobody knows anything.

Everybody is coasting through life doing the best as they can. nobody has anything figured out. It's 100% true. Most people plateau at like 17 years of age, mentally. Their brain stops advancing. They learn little things here and there, but that's pretty much where they stop. Even though I'm like a 24-year-old,

I feel like a fucking 10-year-old. You get to a certain age where, like, you go out and then you see some old man just do something stupid, and you're like, age really has nothing to do with the fact that you just dropped milk on the ground and walked away and act like a... fucking child and pretending you didn't do it. Yeah, no, it's, it's completely true.

It's, I've always felt, like, and it's true when they say, like, age is just a number, not in a sense where it's like, oh, oh, what's not, age is just a number, I thought she was legal. It's like, no, in a sense where it's like, age is just a number, where adults are just young kids. And we were talking about a situation, like,

you know, when your family's going through something, and they have to make decisions, and you're just like, I can't believe my fucking parents did that. And then when you get older, you completely realize, you're like, wait a second, now I understand why my fucking parents did that they didn't have any goddamn money and they didn't know what the fuck they were doing

Wow, I'm in the same fucking boat That's so weird He actually had a debate here the other day Where I was saying I wouldn't like I'm probably, now I know I'm in the minority But I said I would never hit my kids If I had kids Put everyone else in this office said that they would

Oh I would When I go to the grocery store I see some fucking 12 year old kid Slam candy bars on the table And he's like, buy this for me bitch And he's talking to his mom You better snatch him up and whip him in the face You can't talk to people like that

I'm not gonna fucking hit him but I'll tell him how to Like how the world works I tell him it like I tell him it words You need to grab my little shirt and pop him in the mouth Don't punch him in the face Give him a little open-handed slap me like like you don't talk to people like that You know what's gonna happen easily at the 20 years of age and he's gonna be in his first job And then he's gonna hit his kids

You gotta talk to me like that bitch talking to his boss and his boss is gonna fire him That's wake-up call from you get him a real lessons you go like this you'd be like hey guess what You won't have it I keep talking like that. That's why you're such a failure, Nile, because you were never hit when you were a kid. You need to hit more. Nia, you're too nice? Yeah, that's true.

You too nice? Because you know what they did? They just grazed the tip of your butt. They didn't actually inject it. But I didn't... They put a little gold star on your anus and said, good job, Nile. Positive reinforcement, though, instead of negative reinforcement. You know what my positive reinforcement was?

My dad punched me in the ass repeatedly with his bare fist and he was a bodybuilder, so watch out. Your dad fucked you in the ass. He punched me. Yeah, but he didn't ask you to spread your cheeks. I thought, like, you know, dense, wind resistance, it would cause, like, if I farted. Yeah, if I fart, it would slow the fist down. Aerodynamic goes down. Yeah, it's like, it's like, you know, it's like, no!

It's like with plates, it's like with plates. It's like a plate's open up the sides. It's like, so the wind passes over. You know, if there's, if you're taking a flight and it takes longer to get there because of the wind, It's the same method. No, it's realistically. Kids, if you're about to get beat in the ass, fart really hard.

It'll stop the resistance to the head. It happens all the time. I think it's more that it'll stop it because your dad would be like, ew, gross. Or fart in rhythm so your parents fart a log with you or laugh along with you. Some dad is, some dad is going to take his belt off, start whipping his son's ass, and his son is going to fart, and then his dad is going to beat his ass harder for farting and laughing.

He's going to be like, he's like, don't fart on me. Ugh. Beed the shit out of him Do you know what Zach did earlier? What? He, Zach was like napping on the chair Like over there

And he he opened his eyes Stut up Walked over and farted on me Went back and slapped again That's the fucking amount of respect To get in this office Let me tell you something now This is the truth

This is the actual truth Now let me tell you something Now it was so tired I saw you I saw you what you were doing What was I doing You were making faces You were going

To Zach the whole time and his eyes was open slightly. He took the opportunity. I was doing my facial muscle exercises. I wasn't doing fun. You didn't tell Zach that. He knows about that. He took it as a threat, all right?

In a world of monkeys, if you go up to a monkey and you do this, they're going to fucking rip your face off. It's the same thing here. It's got to fart on you. It's the human equivalent. It's a boy meets boy world. What? Maybe for you.

Boy Meets Boy World. What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, I think he means dog eat dog world. No, boy meets world. But he's thinking of Boy Meets World of the TV show. Boy Meets World. So he kind of got mixed dark. Starring Corey.

Your brain is a fascinating place, Corey. Yeah, Corey, I'd love to live in there for a day. I don't know if I'd love to or if it would be like hell. It'd make you too horny and you get confused and I have to leave early. No, I'm a pervert. I could take that. Oh, you don't even know. I bet I bet I'm more perverted than you.

You want to have a pervert off? Fair enough. I'll fucking ruin you. Let's have a pervert off. I don't think so. I don't think so. Go. I know your boundaries.

You don't know my boundaries. You know you do not know my boundaries What about farting on you? Farting? Yeah Was that, was this vanilla hour? What is this vanilla hour? No, no, no, a girl sitting on your face

What is this vanilla hour? What is this vanilla hour? What about that? Come on, give me something else. Go on, give me something else. You have to sniff it and you have to go, Yes, I do that for free. She didn't even have to ask, son.

Would you do? No, no, no, no, the sniffing's okay But if the girls like farts And then she go sniff it. Are we in a daycare? Come on. Beans, beans, beans, the magical fruit. I learned that in preschool.

Oh, you're saying this baby talk. This is this baby time. Oh, what's it? Skat. Skat? Is that the worst you got? Vomiting a skat is the worst thing is. Dude, that's like niche topics.

That's like babies in Germany are like, oh, so you talk about Z scott. So you have like sub-genres of scat. Like scat would corn in it or-Z-Skats. Oh, you don't know. You just say, Scott. You don't know Z the types of scat. Fuck you. Well, okay, tell me some types of skat.

And, like, educate me. Pooping, using it as weapons. That's not corn. That's not porn. just funny. You don't know. I know about, I know about scat. Swalling locks a toxic waste and tossing in each other's face and see who's melts off first. Go. Snap, when you're eating out of girl's butt, if it smells a little bit like poop, do you like that? Just a little bit, just a whiff. Well, it's a butt. Yeah, I know, but if you just get a whiff and it smells a little bit kind of funky, are you kind of like... A buddy's gonna smell no matter what.

It's a butt. You're just like, yeah, it's... If you dab it with coconut oil and the butt hole opens, there's still shit and stuff inside of it, what if you think... What if you... That doesn't change. What if you... If you dab it with coconut. What if you finger her butt, but it's fine. You take out your, uh, you take your finger out and then you put your hand on her ass to fuck her again And then you take your hand off and there's just a little bit of yellow just a tiny bit of yellow Question this is why our fan base is primarily male Okay, because it's all opening was fuck women and now there's yellow shit on my finger because I was Just a little faint bit of yellow like you leave there would you go ugh or would you just kind of like put it in your mouth? You live in the moment of sexual intercourse

now yeah Dogs are related to us. Dog sniff butts. I arrest my case. What? How are dogs related to us? They're fucking... They're mammals.

They have pussies. They have denguses. They're dogs. They breathe. Eat. Fart. Do I have to go on? Fucking hippos are related to us.

I don't fucking, like, bathe in the, like, fucking water and stick my head out and ram people. Most things related to us. How often do you get to run into a hippos pussy? Never. Exactly. What does a hippo's pussy look like? Have you ever been to a zoo? Leave a picture of a hippo's pussy in the comments below.

Leave a picture of a hippo's pussy in the comments below. I'd like to see what it looks like. I'm actually intrigued now. Do you remember that movie, Ace Ventura, Pet Detective? Oh, yeah. Oh, just ask your mom. Okay, wait, that was too far, first of all. That was about 10 seconds.

Do you remember that? Do you remember the part where you... That was true. You get birth to a hippo? That was a rhino if I don't... It was a rhino. It was a rhino. And he was like in this weird brown liquid

And he's like, he goes Ah Yeah, that was pretty funny What I don't understand What I don't understand is how the guy was like Look son, he's giving birth And it's clearly a fucking guy's like fingers and shit Like wouldn't you understand

Wouldn't you be like It's a guy hand Would you be like oh it's one of those malformed Like rhino guys that you see Every now and then But it was so obviously not a real hippo too The character in Teenagey Ninja Turtles Was he a rhino with purple hair?

Yeah Rocksteady Did he have purple? I don't know anything about teenagers turtles. You need to get educated my friend. I didn't grow up with it. Do I know something? I try to watching Teenage Union and Turtles there's this one scene where these kids were tied to a bed in the basement of like

the sewers or whatever and he's like Yeah, I'm gonna tell me where the turtles are And he took out a feather and they're like, what are you do with that? And he started tickling their feet. So many weird stuff made me horny when I was a kid. I swear to God that made me horny when I was a kid. Dude that just confused me and irritated me. Weird thing. I was like, wow.

Wow, this is taking my core spot with the cartoon they wanted to watch. Like, I was set to be the biggest pervert ever, because when I was a kid, you know, you know, you know the movie? Now, biggest pervert ever? Yeah. I like to see that. You know, those headlines? You know the movie, you know the movie, you know the movie Aladdin? Yeah.

You know the part where Jafar like controls them and makes him do what he wants? Yeah. That made me really horny when I was kid. I was so confused. I don't know why. I was like, you could like make her do anything. I don't know. It was just really fucking, you overthink Disney movies when you watched it.

I don't know. I was just a kid and that made me horny. I have no idea why. I was literally about seven years old. Jasmine made me horny, but you know. Jasmine made me horny. You see Robin Hood? She still makes me horny.

The Disney Robin Hood? Yeah. You know Maid Marion, the Fox? Yeah. She made me super horny when I was a kid. Dude, she made me horny too, and she's like kissing the bunny boy. And I'm like, why is that little faggy get all the attention? He sucks.

I know. Lola Bunny and Space Jam? Horny is fuck. Yeah. And the people are like, oh, it's so wrong. It's like, shut up, faggy. You like the two. Fuck you.

Just one time I walked in on my dad when he was pooping. Horny as fuck. This one time... You got horny or was your dad horny while he was pooping? I was... This one time, I walked... Both you? I walked in my dad's room

and he had coconut oil all over the bathroom. What is with you in coconut oil? It's the only lubricant I've ever been exposed to besides... Farboy and coconut girl? Coconut oil is amazing. You could cook with it. You could use it as a massage oil.

And you can put stuff in your ass using it. It smells great. Not after you take it out of your ass, but it smells great. And you know what the thing is? I hate coconut. I hate taste of it. I fuck... You know, this is...

the thing. I'm gonna ruin this for everybody because I don't care because I don't like coconuts. Spoiler alert, I'm gonna ruin on coconuts for you forever. So get ready. Coconuts tastes like soft fingernails in your mouth. That's what coconut tastes like. That's shredded coconut. Those little white coke, yeah, those little white coconut, they taste like soft fingernails. Take a body of you, I don't give a shit if you don't chew them. Take one bite of them and fucking taste that texture and then put a coconut in your mouth after taking a shower and fucking tell me that that doesn't taste. That's shredded coconut though. Shreddy coconut. Well, it's that, but...

That's the most common coconut to run into. I don't like the taste of coconut. It tastes... It doesn't have a taste. It's weird. I mean, coconut's good mixed in with certain things, but it's that nutty fucking nutter bar of coconut stuff that comes off in shavings.

Coconut water is puke-worthy. It's disgusting. If you were on a strand-strand on a desert island, all there was was was chocolate, wine, or coconuts. What would you want? Coconut. What the fuck am I going to do with? wine and I don't really care for chocolate.

Coconuts, I think, can do good for the thirst, too. What do you mean? What could you not do with wine? Why never goes bad? Yeah, but what are you going to do? Sit on a desert island, drink wine all day and get fucked up and sick? Yeah, what else are you going to fucking do? Dehydrated, angry, wake up with a hangover and die in two days? You have a thing of water. You have a spring of clear water. Oh, now I can just add things to this fantasy? No, you had to dig through the woods a little Like Swiss family Robinson, but I have wine too.

I'm just writing how, you know, I want a fantasy. Is it unlimited wine and unlimited coconut? Don't you hate that when people set up fantasies? And then they put you in a situation where fantasy won't go through. And then they're like, no, but there's so-and-so here. So now you have to choose the other one. You just did that, though. I know.

I was creating an example for a new topic. Oh, that's you did there. It's like those, they create, like, a false sense of, like, securement. And it's almost like a thing where it's like... No, you never know what they want for me. It's like, all right, so here's a scenario. You're in a warehouse, and there's only one door in the warehouse, and you have to escape the warehouse, and all you have is a wrench,

and you're like... I use the window. Okay, so I use the door, and they're like, no, the door is locked. And it's like, okay, so I used a wrench and hit the lock on the door, and they're like, no, you can't do that because there's no wrench. And it's like, what do you want from me, dude? It's like, do you... It's like, okay, so...

I guess I die in the warehouse. It is like, yeah, exactly. You fucking idiot. Exactly, you fucking fagggot. Yeah. Go die in the warehouse. And they feel like they're the fucking kings after they're setting. They killed you.

They outsmarted you. That's a lot of those things where it's like it plays into what you want to hear. Like it's like, oh, it's great. You'll have. Nobody's ever happy. They're like, oh, you used the wrench and got out of the warehouse. Good. Good for you, dude.

You were created. Yeah, no one is ever, like, you successfully escaped. None of those, yeah. Those scenarios never work out. Wow. What do you want to talk about? That just happened. Dude, we had an avid discussion about what you put in your ass and how kids are smart.

I don't think this is a bad podcast, actually. Oh, it's pretty good. Hey, when you were a kid, wait, let's talk about things that happened when we were kids. All right, let's talk about things that were when we were a kid. That's an endless supply of stories. Sure, no, let's touch on the topic. Yeah. Okay.

Since we were on topic about kids at one point, when you were a kid, there's a certain thing your mom would always bring home that you would fucking lose your mind to. It was like the greatest thing your mom bought. And it was one of the... Do you have one of those fond things for me? My mom would always bring me one of those big slim gym things when I was a kid. Yeah. She would always bring them home whenever she went out. Like a little gift to you.

Yeah, when my mom went shopping, I'd be like, Slim gyms when she gets back and then I come up to her and I'd be like, and then she put out her hand, she'd be like, how'd you know? And I'd be like, it's like a fucking cat and a bell. It's like, it knows it's going to get something after a while. So it's just like, oh, I'm going to get a slim jump. It's called power. It's called Pavlov's dog.

That there's an actual term for that. Did your mom ever do that? Wrong. That was kindness from mom. I have a similar one, too. When I was a kid, I was hooked on this movie called Universal Soldier. It was my favorite movie. I loved all the violence, and I think there was a titty in there.

But when I was a kid, it was like the coolest movie in the world. And this is back when you used to rent VHS tapes from movie rental stores. I don't even know if they fucking exist anymore. Can you rent movies now? without fucking Netflix and shit? I think they're honestly used... They're used as places in the back to sell drugs now, I think. Anyways, my parents would go to the video store,

and every time they went to the video store, they were like, is there a movie that you want to see? And I'm like, yeah, get Universal Soldier. I want to see it again. And they did that for me, like, my mom did that for me, like, nine times. And then she went to the movie store again. And she was like, yeah, can you get Universal Soldier? And she was like, no, I'm not renting this movie for you ever.

again and I felt really bummed out and then when she got back she gave me Universal Soldier and she went out and bought me a copy. That's awesome. The actual movie. It was the best gift that I ever got. I was like, oh my God! I watched that VHS tape so many times I destroyed it. Like I destroyed

the tape on the inside. It didn't work anymore. Do you still like it? Yeah. I'll watch Universal Soldier right now. It's just a... I mean, it's not a phenomenal movie, but it's just like a movie that kind of... I was the same way with Mummy. I watched Mummy so much. I did too. I've seen the movie like a million times.

It was just one of those movies that you could finish and be like, Yeah, I could quote that. All right, let's restart it. And then you'd start watching it all over again because it was, the pacing was just like, it was good. Like when they finally got into the fucking experiment, it was a fun movie. It was just like, it was great.

I agree. Nile, you didn't say if there was anything you got when you were a kid. Like anything your mom, when she went out, she would get you a specific thing. Not particularly, actually. I used to get stuff from my mom, too. It was always nice. Her face would light up.

I remember my mom used to work at a funeral home. See, we used to bring her bags of peach jolly ranchers, because those were her favorite. Yeah. They used to, like, segregate the flavors of the jolly ranchers in the bags. I don't know if they still do that. But peach jolly ranchers were awesome. They were just like these light, you know, peach-flavored jolly ranchers. Pink ones?

Yeah, and then bring them to my mom at the funeral home, and I'd look at dead bodies and be freaked out. Did you poke them and watch their hats came in? No, I remember walking up to, because this isn't a really small Midwestern town. In the back of my mind, I remember walking up to a, uh, because it wasn't very professional because there wasn't many people. So when people died, they just put him in coffins, just kind of wheeled them over to the corner of the building. And so you could just walk up and look. And I remember seeing this guy with just a big smile on his face. He had these big ass ears and he was just smiling really big. He was dead. I guess I was like, wow, death is, death isn't that bad. That

guy looks really happy. And later on I just found out it was rigormortus and his face just like tightened up. So he wasn't really that thrilled to be dead, but it's funny too with the whole concept of when you get something and then when your parents get older, like

as you... Yo, yo, Niles in the fucking bathroom. That guy's a fucking faggot. He needs to be kicked off this fucking podcast because I'm tired of all his fucking bullshit opinions. He needs to go to fuck back to Ireland where he belongs with his people, quote, unquote.

I've already, like, called, like, someone from Ireland. I know someone on the inside because I know Chris, like, Chris gives me connections. The Irish connection, they're going to come and fucking get Nile and just bring him back home. That's completely unreasonable. Oh, it's real. Realistically, I thought about this. Okay, fine. Just, he just needs to be out of here.

He just needs to go away. What were you saying, Corey? I was talking about, like, when you were younger, whenever, like, you know, You got older, your mom, like she would spend money. So after a while, like, oh, here's a realistic question. Did you get allowance? No, never. You didn't get allowance.

Did you get allowance? I've never gotten allowance. Oh, man. You know what I got each week from my mom? What? Out of the kindness of her heart? I got chores and a speech about how I was lucky to be living there. Yeah, I pretty much the same.

Dude, my parents were fucking, when I was old enough to even understand what allowance was, my parents were like 30. They were like our age I know I wouldn't give anybody fucking any of my money right now I'm so broke right now I know I'm some shitty ass kids No my mom would give me 20 bucks Yeah oh so wait was that supposed to be a lot or like

20 bucks a week in like the fucking 90s Yeah 2000s start is If I got 20 bucks a week back then And it was fucked up because they would just spend it on candy And useless shit when you're a kid Like you're just like I'm gonna get Dollar Mangers

I don't want to get skills I'm gonna get memm andems. I'm gonna go to the arcade and play for five days straight and then you blow $20 in like 28 minutes. Exactly. My mom was like she also like never punished me like when I was a kid. But the thing is like because she was like that,

I had a lot of respect for her because she was considering... That's what I'm saying. I never got hit by my parents. I don't understand how people like have these like really shitty kids who are like, fuck you, you're a horrible parent. You're power net. People are like, you know like, fuck you bitch.

She gave me that candy. My mom was like, she never did anything to me. I don't think my mom's ever hit me in my entire life. My mom, I got hit with a wooden spoon once, but I remember that. My mom kicks ass. I love my mom. My mom is the shit, son. My mom, she never did anything.

And it's like, I was spoiled to hell and back. But because of that, like, I respected my mom. One of my earliest memories that I remember was sitting on the floor of the shower. And I was looking up at my mom, and she was washing her hair. and she was completely naked because we were just showering in the same thing. Yeah, they always go like, oh, they'll never remember this, but everyone remembers it.

I remember that shit. I remember, too. My mom used to come into the bathroom and, like, use the toilet while I was taking a shower and shit. Yeah, and you hear... You just talk to me about things, and I would just be like, Ma, you forgot my purple dinosaur.

And then she would, like, say all this stuff to me. That's families, though. Yeah, it's like, I'm pretty sure everyone's experience that. It's not like you were going to be weird, like, ooh, you saw your mom naked? It's like, dude, you're naked for 90% of your time when you're around your mom. Why does it fucking matter? Everybody's fucking weird about that.

It's only when you're older, it might be kind of considered a little weird. These are all these people that are, yeah, okay, I've seen my mom naked, I've seen my sister naked, I've seen my brother naked, I've seen my dad naked, I've seen half my roommates naked. I've seen, I've seen, I'm not one of those faggots that runs around like, oh, masturbate, of course, I don't masturbate, that's gross, that's just disgusting. That's bullshit. You disgust me.

That's bullshit. Like, literally, just be honest. Human beings are disgusting creatures. Just get it out of the way. We're fucking animals. We just do what animals do. And I do feel like, I do feel like some people are just more vocal about it. It's like some people are perverted, but just some are more vocal.

And some are more able to talk. Some more comfortable about talking about certain topics. I got nothing to lose. Was somebody going to make fun of me? Yeah. Oh. They'll be like, hey, jeer, stand for likes guys. Oh, shit.

Hey, did you hear? Stamper saw his mom naked ones. Oh! What son? McSpan's a faggot. He puts stuff in his butt. It's like, yeah, all right. Ouch. Sorry, keep rubbing my titty. It's like, stuff in your boots.

Ouch. No, it doesn't. It really doesn't bother me. At one point, I remember when I was on the internet and someone was like, you're gay. And I'm like, you can't say that. My mom says you can't say that stuff. And I'm like, you're a jerk. I remember.

And he's like, and he's like, and he's like, And then he's like, yeah, well, you're faggot. And I'm like, that's not fair. I remember in like the third grade, I was like, I go to my friends after school. I was like, fuck that. And then they were like, whoa! Like, do you swear? I was like, yep, I swear.

I used to say, I used to be a kid. I was like, are you freaking kidding me or crap? And then one day I was around like older kids who were just like, man, check this fucking all yeah. I'm like, dude, shit was awesome. Fuck yeah, dude. And then they were like clapping. She said, hey, dude, check it out. And they, like, show me and stuff.

And then I went home. And I'm like, Mom, those kid just did a fucking Ollie. And she just turned around completely flabbergasted. But then it's, like, weird because it's like, she's like, don't curse. And then I would go to my dad's house and he would just be screaming at the fucking football game. You're like, you fucking idiot. Fumbling the ball, you moron. And then I'd just be sitting there.

He'd be like, and I'd be like, if I said something, I'm like, dad, why can I say fuck? And he would, like, turn around and try and throw an object at me. And then I'd be like, what? I still, to this day, I don't curse in front of my parents. I, you know, here's the thing. I don't recommend it, but there comes to a point where you're almost... A lot of my friends are like, Mom, fuck off. You're like, okay, son.

You're incapable of controlling yourself. I'm incapable of controlling yourself. And I went to my mom, and I'm around my mom, and I'm talking about stuff. And I'm like, that's fucking dumb as shit. And she'll, like, start laughing and stuff. And I'm like, why are you laughing? And she's like, because you're fucking cursing like a sailor. And I'm like, you just said, fuck.

She's like, I fucking curse because I'm old. Because I'm a human. I'm like, fuck you. I'm 24. And then she'll, like, lose your shit. It's about showing respect to people that you would think, like... Exactly. Wouldn't prefer to hear that kind of like...

My parents would not prefer to hear, though. And that's fine. Yeah, but... My stepdad doesn't want to do... When I was living there, I had, like... I was a master of... When I talk to my friends, I curse so much. But when your parents came around...

When my parents were around, I could somehow just filter that. But now when I'm on Skype to them, because they were back in Ireland, like, the other day, I was like, that's fucking shit. And then I was like... And they were like... And then my mom was like... Yeah. Yeah, it is. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, it's different. Like, my mom

definitely, she treats me like an adult because she realized that I'm going through adult things, I guess. But. Little does she know. Yeah, little does she know that I'm just going out buying candy and having a heyday. I'm like, sweet, dude, I got $1.50. That's an M&M. No, that's a fucking. That's some laffy.

And I'm going to... Dude, that is fucking gummy bears. I'm going to binge drink the whole weekend. Oh, that's $210, actually, in Wawa. With $1.50? You're not going to get very far. No, I'm gonna steal drinks from binges. Oh, sweet dude. Wait, what was that delicious meal you said you get for $1.50 recently?

Are you going to McDonald's? You get a McDowell, you dress it up like a Big Mac. Oh, you... Snap riddles are all the tricks of the trade. I worked at McDonald's. I didn't know that shit. You gotta fucking just get a burger. It's even cheaper. Have it your way, son.

Go get the cheapest shit and be like, hey, can you put lettuce on that? And tomatoes? And secret sauce. And an extra paddock, please. And extra, yeah. Actually, extra buns for that extra patty please. An extra food you have laying around, just to throw that around. This slice of cheese.

They always charge for cheese, but nobody gives a shit about lettuce. Nobody cares, like, when you get charged for cheese. No one's like, oh, you're going to put cheese on it unless they're, like, lactose intolerant, which that's why they ask, do you want cheese on it? Dude, cheese makes a damn burger. But it's like, I hate, that's something I hate when I'm, like, ordering a fucking Big Mac. And it's like, do you want cheese on it? And it's like, fucking, obviously.

But it's like, oh, people, people have, like. Or you can go buy one of those $1. cheese burgers and you buy one of those one dollar side salads and then you break apart the salad and put all the salad on your cheeseburger because all it is is lettuce and tomato and stuff and then you have an ultimate cheeseburger you didn't pay six dollars for holy goddamn smokes you just have to open it appropriate stamper you you're been you you've been homeless I know how to stretch my food budget I've been homeless wait yeah being homeless sucks sure does uh what like I know I know a few McDonald's tips, like if you want to get

freshly made stuff, just ask for like no tomatoes or something, they have to make it fresh. Yeah, say you're allergic. Yeah, say you're allergic, they'll have to fucking go into another room and make it. Actually, that's not true, but they should. Do you remember when you used to buy clothes at, like, stores and stuff, and you only got, like, branded stuff? Like, you would go into malls and you'd be like, Mom, I have to go to the skate shop, because I have to

get the newest, coolest brands of skateboard stuff, because I got to be a poser. Yeah. It was like, okay. But now it's just kind of like, you think about it, I still wear, like, I have like some fucking skate shoes on there. Skate shoes are the most comfortable shoes. Yeah, I don't care what people say. But they're bar-laced to hell and back and shit.

So it's just like I'll never grow out of that style. I'm going to be a fucking 80-year-old man wearing bar-laced skateboard shoes. And someone would be like, you're too old for that. I'd be like, fuck you, dude, they're comfortable. Skate shoes. Fuck you, you non-jeriatric fat. Actual quote from Corey Spass Kid. That's the joke.

We shouldn't have ate so many wings and got so wasted before we did. this podcast. Thanks for tuning in the Sleepycast. I'm Stamper TV. Thanks for tuning in. Our Corey, let's do this together. One, two, three. Hey, gang, thanks for tuning into

Sleepycast. Make sure to check out the Patreon account. And also, we have Twitter and Facebook, because you have to follow us if you want updates on the Patreon. That was The Drunken Idiocy Hour!

Join us next time on Sleepycast. If I could fuck my own mouth, you'd never hear me speak again. Goodbye.