SleepyCabin - SleepyCast (Pilot) - [Just Spittin' the Shit]

Episode Date: August 30, 2014

SleepyCabin's podcast - episode 0...0? We just sit around and bullshit, essentially. http://sleepycabin.com/audio/sleepycast-00/ This episode starring: Stamper (www.youtube.com/StamperTV) Psychicpebbles (www.youtube.com/Psychicpebbles) JohnnyUtah (http://johnnyutah.newgrounds.com) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

There is a world as tangible as our own, impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Buried deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin... There's a bunch of guys. He's a bunch bullshit. Uh, welcome to the Sleepy Cabin podcast, aka Sleepycast. Ooh.

Um... Okay, so this is the Sleepy Cabin podcast, the first episode-ish. We have a more valid podcast plan for the future, but this time around, we're just going to sit here and bullshit for like an hour and... Test the waters. Test the waters, as it was, as it were. That's right. Already fucking up here. Tonight is me talking stamper.

Johnny Utah, Jeff, and Psychic faggot. Psychic trouble Yeah Zach A.k.a. Jee Jorson. Yay! Yay! Give me more. Okay. So.

So, last night, we asked Corey. Yeah, Spascaid. How he would solve the crisis of that rank. And I said, he could be any superhero he wanted, and he got greedy.

That was unacceptable. He wanted to be two superheroes. Put together. Two put together. So what was it? He wanted to be the flag. Initially the Flash and the Hulk. He wanted to be something before the Hulk. He wanted to be the girl. Yeah, he wanted to be a jubilee whatever you said.

Yeah, it was the other girl. Missed, not Missed, not mystique. Wait. The one can walk through walls? No, no, the one with the gray hair, the one. Storm. No. The one that's like dating Ice Man. Rogue. Rogue. Oh, is it rogue? Yeah, he wanted to be the Flash and Rogue. I'm like, why? To take out, to take out. out Muslim extremists. Flash isn't an X, man. And then he changed it, and they changed it and said he would be the Hulk, and his solution to get rid of these extremists would beheading children was to go to Iraq and pound

the ground and they'd come up from their holes and he'd do the flash and go up and punch around the sky. He'd hit the ground so hard they'd fly up in the air, everybody. And then with Flash powers, he would run to them really fast and then punch him as the Hulk. But he didn't explain how he would... Where does... I thought he said two superheroes. Where does the Hulk come in now?

He changed it from... Yeah, he changed it. He changed it. He changes the answer. He could just be the Hulk. The Hulk jumps really high. And he can't be killed, pretty much. He's telling me in the car that the Hulk can only be killed by a black hole. I don't know if that's true.

By a black hole? Yeah. Sounds like a lie. Yeah. I don't know, though. He was telling me how much he hated the Hulk and Superman because they're so powerful. Oh, because they're unfairly powerful? He said Superman is stupid because he can only be killed by a supernova. No, he can't.

I don't even know. where these answers are coming from. I think those both feel like a lie to me. Couldn't someone just grab you and drag him and do it on Supernova? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where you're supposed to find a black hole.

Is that really what... He knows about Kryptonite, right? You can walk up to Superman and be like, just crumple. According to Corey, Superman cannot die by Kryptonite. It just puts him to sleep. It just puts him to sleep. Oh, it just knocks me.

It's tired. It's like a NyQuil for Superman. Rocks a NyQuil. What's his supernova again? It's like when a star explodes. Yeah. Oh, so we'd all die. Yeah, he said, if we got hit by a supernova, we'd all be fucking dead.

He basically said, yeah, it has to blow up the earth too, and then it will kill Super Bowl. So the only way to kill Super Bowl is by killing everybody on Earth, everything on Earth. But he flies around through space. If the Earth blew up, he would fly around to space in the face more. I was also asking if he went into the center of the sun, could he do that? Could he fly into the sun? Superman? Yeah.

I don't know. And, I mean, he's pretty much human, right? I've seen him going to space before. Or like, it's not like he's breathing up there or anything. No. Or maybe he is. He's not breathing. He can't breathe. There's no oxygen.

You never see the impact that has. Like, can you suffocate Superman? You can't choke him with your hands. No, I mean, suffocate him. Like, just like tape his mouth and no shut. Do his... No, because he opened his mouth and ripped the tape off. So why does he have lungs?

My God, could you just... Does he have lungs? So he doesn't need air? I don't know. Maybe his lungs run as something different. Like, super air particles? Maybe it's like self-circulating. Maybe it's like an internal...

system. He produces, he talks, he produces sound through his mouth, so he's using air against his vocal cords. So he has them. He was born with... Maybe, maybe his breath is, he can retain his oxygen in his lungs for a long time. So I'm not his internals run.

When he holds his breath when he goes in his face. Oh, and he can only be up there for a minute. Maybe. Yeah, he goes up like five minutes, yeah, he's sort of blue. And he's got like iron lungs like oil drums that can't crumple into space. No, yeah, exactly. But it'd never be scary if he, I always thought when I was in space, if he flies

too far away from Earth, you just get lost and you can't come back? But if he's a GPS. Oh, me. You can't find it. There's no GPS that says Earth, over there. But it's like, what if he's like a pigeon that has on his head? You know what I mean? Like, he just knows where Earth is.

But if he just wants to go to Mars and then he can't really... Well, then again again, he's got any of supervision. Yeah, how long does it take to get to Mars again? With like, like, 30 years or something? No, to Mars, it's like three months. Two years, actually. I think the fastest crack we have now, the fastest proportion would be like three months.

If you go on the speed If you're going to the fastest speed consistently But I think right now it takes like a year or two Oh because it's like 15 minutes to Or 15 years to Europa Right? Yeah well we launched that spacecraft We launched the spacecraft to like 2005

And it's supposed to get to Pluto like next year That's fucking amazing They actually know how to get there And probably get back And scientists are like Oh it's a really simple theory You just boomeranging around a couple of planets and then throw it back forwards air.

If you fly into, like, Saturn, break up. She'd pay attention to math class. You know, my teachers would always say, like, well, you can always see the spacecraft out so far because the signal stops. And so, why don't you say, like, five, and they, you know, and there's one here. A chain?

Yeah, the chain of spacecraft. Oh, so they communicate with each other than the last guy? Yeah, the one way out there's communicating with you. Well, aren't you smart? Yeah, why don't you reach in your back pocket and give NASA the $90 billion that's going to require? Well, somebody did know, I can do it. I'll sell my piggybage.

So I know, so instead of sending one billion dollar ship, let's send five. Well, then you could get signals out, and then you could see empty space. Man, the public wouldn't like that. If NASA got up and they were like, okay, guys, okay, hear us out, because this is this going to sound a little lofty now.

But sell everything you have, so we can put five spacecraft to the space. What if they were really spoiled, like, children, and everyone was like, no. And then NASA was like, do you want to go to space? You want to explore braven worlds? You're like to be right now or never?

Zach, would you prefer to have a cyanide? Would you go up to space with a cyanide capsule? Yeah. We just hate something went wrong and I had to kill myself so I could... Maybe, I don't know, it'd be kind of cool to die in space. I don't think anyone has yet. But if you went up into space with Corey, but there was only... But Corey, like, lost his, and then he's asking for yours.

Is it... I fucking open the thing and push him out. Is it two questions? Is it true that no one's died in space yet as movies just, like, tainted my mind? I'm pretty sure no one's died in space. There was a Russian astronaut who was, like, whose suit fucking inflated too big, and he was freaking out because he couldn't get back in the door. Are you talking about, like, poetically dying in space,

like sitting on the surface of the moon crying or, like, exploding? I don't think anyone's died. A Russian sort of burnt up on the way back down. Yeah, no one's died in space, though. People died. I think people have, like, Columbia and, what was the other big one? Challenger and Columbia, yeah, they both fucking burned up in the atmosphere. I always keep forgetting about Columbia.

Challenger didn't get too high. I remember what that happened. There was fucking, like, pieces raiding down to Texas and people were finding like heads and shit? How many people died in there? Probably a dozen. I think the Challenger one was worse because there was... No, that one was 20, something. It was big. Way more people were

watching that one because there was a teacher. Yeah, there's a big TV event. Yeah. Oh, and second, isn't there an easier way to, like, suicide than cyanide? Doesn't it fucking, like... You're like... Boil to the brain would be a little faster. You don't want to sit there choking with, like, a foam pouring out of your mouth for a minute.

No, pretty sure you up. I heard it said. I heard it's a... Matt Bolt that your brain would do it a lot of faster. That's not a very dignified way to go. The rumor is that Hitler did both. He took the pill and just for safe measure blew his head off. Well, he's a smart man. Yeah. What do you think the most suicide you could do at once would be? Like, hang yourself and shoot yourself and take a cyanide pill and fall off a building?

I think about that way too much. But no. How many suicides it was just to make sure you could... I heard that cyanide is fucking horrible. Or it fucking burns you. Like, you're in science, right? Yeah, you swallow that shit and it's like one of the worst ways to go. Apparently pretty foolproof. Don't think...

Yeah, I guess it's pretty strong. Yeah, I don't think you can get your stomach pumped from that. Look, if we got shit at vets that could ease puppies... Well, they do. Have you seen those videos of people, like, Sweden, who drink this shitty water and eat chocolate and fall asleep and die? They listen to, like, Bainteu, or whatever? No. They eat chocolate.

What are you talking about? There's these people, there's, like, these dead doctors, and people decide to die. Like, if they have cancer or something, and they go to this place, the doctors, like, drink this dirty water, and they drink it. And then you get the taste of it about, they're allowed to eat chocolate. just fall asleep, and they poetically listen to whatever music could watch, you know, say the new eyes. It seems like, it seems like overdosing on, like, sleeping pills, seems...

But it's a really low number of people who die from that. Like, only teenagers dramatically go and drink all the ad bill, you know what I mean? They're not trying to kill themselves, we're trying to kill themselves. This is a weird... Is this an appropriate topic? We're just like giving people... Kids, if you want to

kill yourself, put your head up front of a trade track when the tree comes. Oh, yeah, just lay your head. That'll fucking... You're not going to wake up with your dad crying over your body then. The train is pretty foolproof. Yeah, you lay, lay drunk guys do it all the time. Lay on the train tracks. With your head on firmly on the thing.

Do you see what it does to a penny when you put it there? Yeah. End up on some shitty website with some asshole takes an iPhone picture of your dead body. And voila, it's done. I'm not shooting myself in space because no in my luck, I'll be one of those retards where the bullet passes through my head, and then I'm just a fucking walking mess with half my head gone. And then you're too afraid to do it again because if you fuck up twice?

I think you should definitely lie your neck on the track. Don't jump in front of the train because then body parts fly. Yeah, then you're, yeah. Your hand will hit somebody in the head. Yeah, just lay your neck on the ring. Lay your neck firmly if you're listening. And then it's like, boop, problems over. You don't want to horrify all these innocent people with...

Yeah, you always got to worry about who's going to find you. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, yeah. I guess the best thing would be like being incinerated. You can just get on a bus and go to Kentucky or something and do it. it there. And then by the time your family sees you, some other poor guy that's completely unrelated to your family has already

pick you up. I think a good solution is, in Japan, they have a suicide forest. They just kind of... Well, yeah, the suicide forest. Yeah, it's like a park. They just... That'd be a good place for if you're a killer to go there and kill people before they can kill themselves. Yeah, we talked about that. Maybe they'd be more lenient on you. You know what I mean? Like, you go to

kill myself and see that I'm going to kill you. Yeah, I don't think they investigate people out there. They just sort of just kind of go out there and hang yourself. I would never jump off a bridge, though. It's fucking whatever. It's artistic, but come on. It's not artistic. People like to do the dramatic. You're essentially jumping onto concrete almost.

But there are people who have survived, and they said the second they fucking fell off, they regretted it. They were like, oh. It's not a very foolproof way of going, jumping off the bridge. Because if you do, because if you hit the water, let's say, worst case scenario, you break all your bones and just drown to death. You have a lot of time to think about what you just did. wrong. Especially as you fall. Yeah. What I, what I, I told you guys about my

my, my Rube Goldberg machine. I want to I want to put a canvas on a wall. Oh, blow your head off. Yeah, blow my head off against the canvas and then somehow like have a string attached to the gun so when it falls from my hand, it somehow does this whole thing where like, it mechanically like signs my name on the canvas and then like dumps my body

and the dumpster out back or something. You don't be really shitty is if you fucked up somehow. Like if it didn't, if you got like a little blood drop lid on the canvas. Yeah. That's, that's a big fear. Like, what if the your brain, your head stopped the bullet and it never passed through. Yeah, a lot of people. Then you just look like a jackass.

Everyone overestimates, everyone overestimates how much brains fucking killer in the back of your head. Yeah, I don't want my, I don't want my skull fragments, like, tearing into the, uh, paper fucking up. You know, you, uh, what's his name? Do you remember that one guy that shot himself on TV? The, uh,

butt wire? Yeah, you remember when he, like, he just put it in his head and he, he blew the, like, whatever. Yeah. But the amount of blood, that poured out of his mouth and nose. If you put the canvas on the ground... Yeah, you know what?

Just hang yourself like this, and when you do it, it'll just go all over the ground. You kind of forget... When I was a kid, I almost imagined, like, your body is just filled, like, any... Like, just... You cut somebody open and just blood will pour out, but it's really, like, in a...

Yeah, it's like... Blood is in a very... ...circulation system. It's like, it's very contained, actually. Oh, yeah. You really have to, like, break that seal, and then it just comes fucking pouring out. People rest of it,

bad it is. People got mad at me by a cloud video because they're like, why is the fucking hole in the lady's heading? Like, it's like a little dad at the entrance wound. Yeah. It's also a cloud video. Yeah, it's a cloud video. You're so adamant. Like the bullet hole is realistic in this fucking crazy clown video. Yeah.

Realistically, a bullet hole in someone's forehead would probably, it'd be really small, it'd be really gross, and at the entrance point, all the bone around it would be shattered, so it would be like the soft spot on the baby's head that you push for fun. What do you think would happen if you shot a baby in the head?

Would it be different? If you shot a baby in the head, this little thing would probably just explode everywhere. You think the baby's head would explode? I don't know, let's try. Let's go find a baby and just shoot it in the face. It probably wouldn't crack. It would just be like...

No, it'd be like shooting like an old peach or something. Yeah, it'd be like shooting a jello mold. It'd like going with like... Boop bloop. It's like a little piece might fly out the back, but it would be like undulated. It would just go back to normal. It would like reseal itself.

It would like reseal itself. and the parents would be like, what happened? It's a real. Just lying there turning purple, and I don't know what killed it. This has got dark fast. I know. You're talking about space like five minutes ago.

You're talking about fucking super man. Yeah. You're like, shooting baby's head and having it reformed. The horrified parents find it. Jeff, would you kill a baby? What would push you to kill a baby, Jeff? Oh, Jesus.

If it didn't shut the fuck up. Would you kill a baby, Stambert? God, no. Zach. That's a cruel. I'm really trying to think of a reason. There's got to be some reason out there.

What if a guy handed you a baby and said, kill this baby? Or I'm going to kill you a whole family. Or I'm going to kill you, Jeff. I'd just be like... He said fucking strangle the life out of it. Look at its eyes. You can look deep and it's soul when you kill it.

If I had to choose between myself and a baby, I think I could just... Put your head over its face? Yeah. Yeah. What if it said, da-da? And you figure it out, Jeff. What if it called you daddy?

Then I'd be like, why am I holding a doll from the 80s? A creepy horn. cliche 80's character Da-da Actually, none of those dolls ever said, da da da, da. What did they say? They say, Mama.

Oh, yeah. I'd call it a... They pissed their little fake pee out and go, uh-oh. What a pointless fucking doll. Have you ever, did you ever own a cabbage patch kid?

No, I owned the troll dolls, though. I did. I owned a cabbage patch kid, I think. Yeah? I think he got it out of a fucking, like a... Either just, like, you know, like, when you're kid and then you have like a cousin that just has a box of fucking toys or something and you somehow end up with a lot of toys that aren't yours.

Yeah. Yeah, I had one of those creepy fucking things. Cabbage Patch kids are nothing more than like garbage pail kids without the trash all over them. It's essentially what they are. I think they got, they except the garbage pail kids came second. Yeah. So the garbage pail kids are just, cabbage kids with dirt all over them.

Yeah. I just mean like the. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. The, just the creepy factor. Cabbage Pats kids were fucking. worst trend to either of you ever part of what was the worst fad that you're ashamed of

that you bought into? Jesus. I wouldn't say that I was ashamed of. Popples. What the fuck? Oh yeah. It's a popple. I didn't mind popples, though. Popples were cool. They were just like, they were almost like the Pokemon back in the day, except you

could fold them inside out and they'd turn into balls. They're actually pretty cool, actually. You should bring those back. So, yeah, so you have this like stuffed ball and it looks exactly like a soccer ball. It's got a seam on the side of it. And if you pull it apart, fold it outwards, like flip it inside out. It's like a creature.

Are they all circular shape, though? No, I don't think so. I think they were just, like, different ball shapes. I think there was, like, a football one and stuff like that. That's pretty cool, actually. It was a fairly normal. Yeah, when you unfolded them. I never liked Teddy Ruxpin, though.

That thing creeped me out. If you think about Apopples were a really good idea. It's like a unisex toy. It's like a transformer almost where it's like it's two different. Yes. That's actually a really good idea, yeah. Oh yeah, and Teddy Rockspin. I remember that.

Teddy Roxpin. That was the one where you could put, like, the tape in the back of it, right? And he would read you stories and shit. He'd definitely talk. I can't remember what he'd say. There used to be a teddy bear that had like a tape deck built into the back of it. I do remember. Yeah, you could buy different tapes.

Yeah, and then it'd be like... You would read to you basically? Yeah. Was it like... Did the voice match the teddy bear? Like fairy tales and shit. No, I think you just... like, it was like a glorified tape

player. But yeah, you bought the tape. The tapes were pre-recorded. And it would just read you up the bedtime story about He was like a little arms and I think it's like his mouth might like move up and down as the tape plays, you know. Is that kind of creepy to imagine that like the parents are in the living room and the kid is in the bedroom with like a mechanical bear that's reading him stories. It's kind of like hollow and sad when you think about it.

Have you ever heard that stupid story of, it's one of those horror stories that you know the hook on that it's one of those where it's like And then the killer was in the house Yeah, it's like this guy gives A little stuffed teddy bear to a kid And puts a radio inside of it And talks to the kid and the kid's like The teddy bear said I should touch my vagina, mommy

And the mom gets creeped out And the guy chose to capture the kid Right because that's her son That's why she's creeped out Yeah Zach, do you have a tickle me Elmo? Oh, I think I... No, I don't think I did. What was that big?

Oh shit. It was like a decade ago Maybe a decade ago I don't think I did, I think They're like mid, what, mid to late 90s maybe? That's probably a little bit before my time, if not, right at my time. What was the gayest toy you are? The thing I was into was Woody. I used to, I had this obsession where I, it was a really weird obsession because

it was a little bit serial killerish because I would always get these Woody toys and cut them in pieces. Yeah. Because I like to see how they worked. Yeah. And my parents always buy me a Woody doll, like a Woody doll, like a wooden doll or like an action figure or a stuffed toy. They cut her pieces. You were literally that asshole kid in Toy Story. But I wasn't, though, because I didn't know

Oh, fucking Sid, yeah. I wasn't sad. You kind of looked like them, too. I wasn't Sid. I wasn't sad. I wouldn't see how they worked. Yeah, but he took, like, baby heads and put them on my constructs left.

But I didn't know. I wasn't that creative. I just cut it in pieces. I laughed and, and then, uh, I got my parents to buy me new, but then I'd cry. You're exactly like the kid from Toy Story. He would do that and laugh.

Mine is the creativity that came with it. I have to something to tell you step, yeah. By my daddy. Guess what I am. I've been hiding this pretty. I thought you said about my daddy. You said about my identity. Yeah.

Enunciate. You said? No, I'm sorry. Oh. I tricked you for a second, though. You thought it was going to say, said. Do you know what I did as a kid? Did you kill animals? Do you have their heads on sticks? Just insects. I'd have insect wars. I would... Did you ever get upset after you killed an insect?

Didn't feel bad about it? Only when I pitted them against each other, I'd throw in like 20 ants and one huge spider into a Tupperware container and I'd watch them fight. That actually is not really a fight, though. It's more of like, it's like watching the Europeans fight the Indians. I thought it was kind of cool. I thought the spider might have a chance, but he never, the ants always... Oh, the ants won?

The ants were always the biggest thickheads, yeah, yeah. What is a spider going to do? He's just... I don't know. Yeah, he really couldn't do anything. He's just... Yeah, you think because he's bigger, he's like a big... What do we step on him with his hands?

You're looking at this is like a Godzilla movie, like the scale is like little people, and he's a giant monster. It's like a bunch of... Africans with machetes or he's like an elephant or something. It's like he just doesn't have a chance. Oh, I guess that's true. If you put it that way. Yeah.

Yeah, there's really nothing it could do. That's actually painfully accurate. Whatever. So, yeah, I don't remember having any embarrassing toys when I was in kid. Oh, yeah, back to that. I had sweet toys. I had G.I. Joes. I had Ninja Turtles.

I had... I had G.I. Joe's. I had, like, a big box of G.I. Joe's. And, like, you know, that little rubber band that holds the legs and the torso. together. Broke it. Every now and again, like if you twist them,

like the rubber bands, they'd pop. So those were like my dead soldiers. And I'd like, have to be fucked up on the battlefield. Yeah. But if you were careful,

you could actually swap the legs on a G.I.J.'s if you wanted, they'll get a little hook holding them together in the middle. Yeah, that's, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Some of my G. G.I. Joe's just had a hook in the middle there.

Did you ever take different toys from different franchises that have interact with each other? Like, did you ever have the Ninja Turtles talk to G. Most of my toys were He-Man G-I-J-J-O and I had like a Voltron. I had the entire set of the Pirates of Darkwater action figures too. And nobody even remembers that fucking show.

I remember that show. Harry loves that show because it's like the last like high-quality animation Saturday morning cartoon. And then they just went to shit after that. Like animaniacs. Yeah. Horrible shitty animation. Yeah, I don't know. You shouldn't bust on animaniacs.

I was joking. I said horrible shitty animation. It's really well animated. People love that show. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was just thinking about the weirdest G.I. Joe I had, which is Sergeant Slaughter. I never really understood why he was a G.I. Joe. He was just a wrestler that somehow made his way into G.I. Joe.

Yeah, it's a really loose acceptance for that military service. They're letting wrestlers in the hold guns and be on the battlefield. Yeah, like, all of a sudden, he was a real character in the G.I. Joe, like, no other wrestler was there. And that was that? Yeah, it was his name as a wrestler? Yeah. Yeah. It's Sergeant Slaughter. Do you think they put it in just because his name was Sergeant Sergeant? Sergeant. Maybe because he was a sergeant.

He was confirmed. Yeah, I don't know. I never really understood that. Maybe he was in the military first, then became a wrestler. That went back to the military. Did you ever have any toys that you thought were, like, inappropriate? Or that you thought were just weird and shouldn't be toys? Like, my friend, I remember this very clearly.

My friend had a bathtub toy. He would play with, that was the Titanic. That would fucking break in half. I used to get so weird that, like, 70 or 80 years before it was going to horrible. You didn't go have 9-11 toys? It's a bathtub toy. So you floated around your bathtub, and you, you... He'd be cracking in your cleaner.

You think, like, that's like having, like, a Twin Towers toy. That you fucking snap at half in crumble. She's so weird. The Twin Towers Lego set. Yeah. Knock it down, yeah. Like, they say time makes things, like, less offensive. Like, hey, have you seen the Titanic slide?

This is real? Yeah. It's like a, like, like a inflatable slide? Yes. The Titanic, yes. It's like, the boat is, it's like half sunk. There's a slide you can take from, like, the top all the down. Do you think of time travelers came here?

I think we were just big assholes for like 1913. And the funniest thing was, this was not really funny, but the first time I saw the Titanic slide was like right after 9-11. It was like the same, almost the same level of tragedy. And here kids are riding it like a fucking,

having a fun time. Do you think people have September 11th slides in 50 years where you can slide out of the windows like one of the jumpers? Maybe, I don't know, me. I guess I have to figure out a way to make two buildings into a ride somehow. You can have little kids just as cute little terror. or businessman. It could just be like a trampoline

that you jump on top of and with every jump it crunches a little bit. That's a good idea actually. No, it's not. It's a horrible idea. Let's patent that. It's patent that. Yeah, I don't know what kids are going to think in 50 years. Is there anybody alive from the Titanic anymore? No, I think

the last person was not a couple years ago and she was just a little baby. Because think about this way, right? It happened in 1911. It means she was a little baby. She was a little baby in Titanic. And they pushed it under water. She floated to... Oh, my time frames are messed up. As far as I know, it's that happened not too long ago.

But I'm thinking of the movie. The movie came about the 90s. But even then, the lady was old as fucking that. Remember? The main lady was really old. But that happened to 1911. So say you're 20 years old, that's a pretty good age. Oh, 1911, really?

So say you're 20 years old, you were born in 19... Sorry, 18, here we go. 18, let's see, 1901, 1891, right? 1891, right? Why are you asking me math problems? I'm the worst person in the world when you're going to put you in that. Yeah. What's 1911 money?

it's 20. It's 1891, right? Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So at the end of the life span, I think six or seven, he born in 19 or 18. I really hope so. Yeah. Yeah, 1960. So most people died in the 60s who were part of the Titanic. 60s, 80s, the latest. That's why the lady's

so old than the movie from the 90s. Like 1002 years old. What would you have done on the Titanic? Died? Any tragedy I'd be a part of it. Like, if there's a zombie apocalypse, people like to believe in the way. Would you have tried to take a good spot? Yeah, I would have pushed the lady out and got it to time.

Put that old lady out. Am I Jew? Yeah, I'll be in the movie instead of her. I'll be some old man. You'll be the asshole that's floating on a board all by himself. Eating the kids. I would eat the kids the first second I got into thing. I would wait. Yeah, everyone in a fucking, every time there's a fucking, like, thought of a zombie apocalypse, everyone's like, I'd survive, I'd go to Walmart.

It's like, no, you'd fucking walk outside, die. You'd be the first person to die. They'd be like, I'd just be sitting on top of my garage, just shooting zombies. Shoot them, hit them. Have you ever shot a weapon before? A target from five feet away? Call on duty. I can imagine you, both you and Chris,

pushing women into the water and take their spot. I would, dude, I have a capper. I will push everybody out. Stamper would head to, like, the captain's cabin and just sit there with a beer. Yeah, that sounds about right. I'd probably, I'd be, like, I'd be fashioning my own boat

on the other side of the ship out of, like, junk or something like that. Anybody, I have no, my moral goes away if I'm in danger, everyone gets out. We're talking with this too. What situation would you be in? If you were a Wawa Stamper and there's some asshole with the gun came in, would you be the guy? Would you be the brave guy who jumps to front of people and saves people's lives? I would get the fuck out.

I'm not going to save anybody. I'm not going to be a hero. I think we've been over this. I really don't see any scenario where I'm diving. In front of anybody. I would either hide from the dude or I'd try to take them out. I'm not going to take a bullet though. My point is like you see these videos of guys like on live, like getting shot in the face.

and you're like, give me the money still. It'd be super hard to tackle somebody with a gun. I'd take a bullet from my sister. I would have for you, though? Fuck no, man. You'd take a bullet for you? Why the fuck do you think it'd be the other way around? Because you're a nice guy? I'm not going to take a bullet for anybody, dude. I don't even take a bullet for myself.

If a dude came into Wawa with a pistol, I would be like, take what you need, man, because he's clearly, he's not there for me. He wants money. What if he sees a... I would be on his side so fast, I would be like, listen, cashier, open that shit up, give him the money, right now is what if he's like listen cashier you were too slow when he blows her head off

I'd be like wow that was unnecessary bro and he takes a lady by the hair and he's like what's your name Stamper tell me a reason why I should let's slowly live why I shouldn't fucking paint the wall with their brains What is this a Wesley Snitin? Yeah this guy's a maniac he wants power Stamper give me a reason why I shouldn't kill this old lady

Please Stamper My husband is waiting for me at home with eggs Why eggs Stamper please I'd be like listen old lady Bound you lived a He's dead stamper. You killed her.

I didn't kill her. It was him. He killed her. He gives you the gun. I would still sleep like a baby because I didn't do shit. I would get my sandwich and I would go home. Right. He gives you a gun at your hands and makes you point there to the old lady. He has multiple guns or he gives me his only gun.

He puts a shotgun to the back of your head and says, all right, shoot the old lady. So he gives me a gun and then walks around back, pulls out a shotgun. Yeah. It says shoot the old lady. You're fucking dead stamper. I'd be like, old lady, how old are you? And she'd be like, agey four? this Saturday, I'd be like, bang.

He clicks, there's no bullets. He's like, you would have shot a little lady. You're fucking asshole, dude he leaves. The end. Yeah, I'd feel pretty bad. She's like, you should be ashamed of yourself. You've tried to shoot me in the face. What about you, Jeff?

Would you do the situation? Would you shoot an old lady in the face? I would punch Zach in the mouth for asking stupid questions. This is going to happen. Zach was mad because the old lady at Wawa, is it nice to him? Is that really where all this comes from? Yeah, it's all this pet up sexual fantasy. She's nice to me.

Zach's like, why? It's like, I say hi to her. You say hi to her. Oh, you're talking about Linda. Is that, is that I'm a name? I always say hi, she was, eh. She pukes in her mouth over, she sees me. The one with the white hair.

The old white bitch. Yeah, she's like really old. Yeah, I see people coming and talk to her all the time. And then. You get it too, though, right? No. I think she liked me at first, but then I slipped up and I said something. What did you say?

I said, because everyone's like, hey, Linda, she's like, just a paper today? And it's like, yeah, whatever. And then I went up and I was like half drunk. And I think she knew that I was that I used to smoke cigarettes You know put my water down or whatever I had And she was like, is that it? And I was like, I'm good for now, baby And her face Her face just went dead like he did not appreciate me calling her baby

Maybe she doesn't like me because she knows I'm associated with you How do you? How does a already pale person get even paler somehow? She was she wasn't like horrified she got mad like she was Somebody's grandmother There's a guy in front of me, a guy behind me. She hasn't been called baby since, like, 1913. Yeah, maybe that's why I did it to make her feel special about herself for once in her sad, almost over life. Do you also think, we were talking about this, too.

Do you think these people work at these places like McDonald's and Wawa, because, like, they're retired, and they want to do it just kind? Me and Jeff used to talk about this. There's a dude that used to work at the other Wawa. Oh, for people that don't know, Wawa's a convenience store, it's like 7-Eleven but better. Anyways, there's a dude that used to work at the other Wawa, and we, I swear, Like, we used to come up with, like, scenarios for what this guy did in his every day because he took so much pride in his work and he was like maybe 40.

We thought that he was like an engineer or something, like an architect. I would say it. So you think it's like an American beauty thing where he just works at the fast food place just cause he's bored? In this case, I think he was probably fired from his like aerospace job. Well, you think he was fired and just got this job because he'd let he else do. Or maybe he just needed money. But he took like the same amount of precision in care and fucking mopping the floor.

then it looks like he would at fucking NASA or something. Yeah. He was a really interesting guy. What are people who were like 70 years old or 60 or 70? Do you think they're working there because they're a time they got bored or that they actually need to work? Well, you need purpose in life or you can fucking die. That's probably why Linda's there right now giving me the shit stare. And we are our other favorite employees.

That beautiful black man with the dreadlocks. He looked like DJ from Street Fighter. Oh, yeah. He was like, yeah, he had like this big lion's mane of dreadlocks and he was like the most. beautiful black man on the face of the planet. He was so fucking handsome. But he didn't look like he was enjoying his job. It looked like he wanted. There was definitely

something in his life he wanted to do that not work at Wawa. He wanted to be a supermodel and I would have supported that. He told you that? No, no, he didn't. He needs to be, though. Every time he looked at me, I got bashful. I'd feel bad. Every time I asked him to make my turkey

sandwich, he'd just be grumbling back there. I'm like, I'm sorry you're not on the cover of, like, Vogue magazine. You just Make my sandwich. Thank you. Jeff, where do you stand? Where do you stand, Samper? On what? On the amount of the cream cheese. And the cream cheese debacle in 2014.

Not this again. Not the cream cheese again. The cream cheese scandal. Cream cheese gate. Should we just go over this again? Zach specifically asked for extra, extra, extra cream cheese. And they gave him extra, extra, extra, extra cream cheese. And then he scraped it off and he got really mad. That's a lie version. That's the truth.

I asked for a regular amount of cream cheese. They gave you a fucking... Something that would, an aunt would say this isn't enough. Okay, first of all, nobody orders a bagel and says, remember, I just want a regular amount of, no, people do that. There's a button. It says little cream cheese, a cream cheese, and a lot of cream cheese. I click regular cream cheese, and he gives me a fucking penny of his worth for a whole bagel.

So you did ask for extra cream cheese. I asked for, because, right, for weeks in a row, I asked for regular, give me a fucking this much, something a mouse would eat and starve. And then, and then I order, so I said, okay, well, if I overcompensate it'll give me the right amount, And I ordered a weight watch, and they gave me way... So, my plant backfired. So you're mad that the plant actually... It worked.

Everything worked correctly. Well, it didn't work. It didn't work. I was upset that they actually did their job right for once. And you got what you deserved. There's just that they did their job right for once in their lives. They finally did something worth... That was a lot of fucking cream cheese.

It was a lot. I spread out with two inches on your desk. Some people love that much cream cheese, though. I think like a quarter of a solid layer is pretty good. Didn't James do that once? You know what's Bull shit? Cream cheese.

Did he do that? Yeah. We watched a couple of those. Yeah. What was it about? What was the gist of it? He's like when you go to Dunkin' Donuts and like they put way too much

cream cheese and he's like, who's all this fucking cream cheese for when you squeeze it together? It's like Seagull shit coming out of the hole. See, I don't mind that though. I'd rather have too much to do a little because with too much you can scrape it off. Yeah. I have a question.

It's the same price. You should just get extra extra every time, right? Scrap half of it off into a tub in your fridge and in a week you'll have a free tubbo cream cheese. Bam, free idea. What? What's your question? I was just, no, I was just, I was just thinking actually that, uh, Wawa and Dunkin' Donuts are actually in pretty close proximity to each other, but who the hell is going to Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast when it seems like Wawa would be better anyway? Well, they have more choices too. Do they?

It sounds like an advertisement. They have more choices. They're better, they're cheaper, they're cleaning. They have more donuts. Oh yeah, they do more donuts. Well, yeah, because they're Dunkin' Donuts. Wait, I think I'm saying Wawa has better options. Oh. I would say you can go to Wawa and get a fucking you can get anything. Donkey donuts,

you get a Dunkin and a Doluts. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Every morning I see... Every morning I see Duncan Donuts, parking lot filled with people getting like their one of two breakfast sandwiches when Wawa's right down the street. Most people are Dunkin' Donuts for the coffee.

I used to get Dunkin' Donuts breakfast sandwiches all the time and then they change their eggs around. Now they have this gross floppy white egg thing. Oh, instead of yellow eggs? Instead of like that scrambled thing that they used to put in there and it's fucking gross and hard to eat now. How do you put cheese, egg, and sausage on a sandwich, and it's still bland?

It doesn't make sense. It's pretty basic. It should taste good. Yeah. Those things together. Once they stopped, do it. Like, me and Corey would get one almost every morning. And then when they changed it, we both stopped going for breakfast.

The last time I had one was like four days ago here. And Jeff was watching me choke it down with a frown on my face. I had the turkey. It's like a turkey and like melted cheese. That was all right. That was pretty good. You know, Cut it out, Zach.

You're making me hungry, huh? I'll be right back. Okay. Zach. Yes, Jeff? Who would win? I would.

I would. Question over. I'm just trying to have fun here. Okay. It's not fun. Who would win, Jeff? Hitler? Yeah.

Or the Incredible Hulk? Well. Yes. Is Hitler infused? It's just regular Hitler. Oh, he's not infused. Why is everything with you? He's not used of Gatories.

It's Hitler with his little cute mustache for his little outfit. Why? He killed a lot of Jews. Who else to take on the Hulk? Do you think the Nazis could have created the Hulk? They tried to create, they tried to create ape people. Did you hear about this? Ape people? Yeah, they tried to fuse.

They tried to get apes to get birth to people and tried to fuse them together. I'm not making a joke about this. It's an interesting experiment. I would try it. If you go on YouTube, I guarantee you'll find it. There's some cheesy history channel documentary, and it has a terrible CG apes like marching down with the thing. Nazi uniforms.

It's really fucking stupid, but it's interesting. I'm kind of glad we seguated into this from Mike. I'm glad I didn't ask my question. What was your question going to be? I'm curious, though. I was going to ask who would win Voltron or Godzilla, but nobody wants that. No, that's stupid, though.

That seems, yeah. Wait. It's a silly question. Who would win? Godzilla 2014 versus Voltron 1985. Here's the real question. What? The question everybody wants to know.

Who would win in a fight between Godzilla and Zach's fat-ass mom. My mom would push her push guys all over. Is your mom fat? No, she's really She's jogs every day. Really? She'll know. I don't give a shit. Fuck you! Who would win? Terminator?

Yeah. Actually, who do you think would win? Terminator? Exply. Yeah, probably Terminator. Also, I think the biggest factor in this is motivation. I think Robocop would win if Terminator fucking stabbed his family in the face or something. Because the Terminator doesn't feel pain.

He doesn't feel pity or remorse. And he won't stop until you're dead, man. Stamper. Stamper. What? All I'm saying is, I think if Robocop bumped into the Terminator while he was trying to chase John Hunter? Yeah, I get the fucking... Yeah.

I think Robocop would win. But I think if Terminator was designed to kill Robocop, I think Terminator would win. I think that's the difference is who had the better motivation. He shot Robocop in the eye. He'd be dead. Yeah, but he'd be like, the way to push him over. He wouldn't? All right, look.

Robocop doesn't have, like, superhuman fucking amazing strength. Nobody took on like a thousand bolts in that drug warehouse scene. Yeah, but a bunch of dudes cut up apart with a chainsaw in part two. But, yeah, those guys just held them down. He was like, oh, oh, like goodness. And then he was cut apart. Part two. Yeah.

And he took so much shit in Terminator 2. Part 2's canon, I'm just saying. Terminator 2, in Terminator 2, he took so much shit by the end of it. He was still fine. Terminator 1 versus Robocop 1. No sequels. Only those two. Let's say the sequels.

Oh, now you're changing the rules. No? is the same Robocop and the same Terminator. No. No. We have seen RoboCop terminator from Terminator 1. So let's say Terminator 1 was trying to kill Sterlinger and Robocop just got in this fucking way. Yeah. It wasn't his motivation.

You know what? Only... But let's say Robocop saw Terminator fucking pull his family's head off of Robocop's family's head off. He would have the motivation to kill Terminator. You're on Robocop's side. This whole argument is biased. No, it is biased. You're basically saying Robocop somehow gets like retards strength. No.

I'm saying if he has motivation, I think Terminator would win. If Terminator's target was Robocop, but I don't think... What if the Terminator? Oh, so you're saying that... I'm saying it depends on motivation. Yeah, he would totally lose if he didn't care.

Motivation was. Yeah, I didn't kill or whatever, get him away. But I think if Robocop was like, get back here, it'd fucking break his bag. Yeah, but the Terminator has the most motivation of all. He really only has one thought to kill. Yeah. To kill.

To kill Sarah Carter. But what's saying is, if that wasn't the case, and it was his job to kill Robocop, he would win. But that argument doesn't make any sense. Because if Jeff is beating my ass and I don't care, of course he's going to win. If it's vice versa, of course I'm going to win. The Terminator would scan Robocop and just see this stupid, soft human face and just aim his gun at it.

Yeah, those little beacons would just like zoom into his little baby face. Because they say that Robocop has like a marrow skull. That's just like that's fake skin. Are you sure about that? Yeah, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, bones. Look, here's exactly what would happen. They try to do that. One of the movies are really seriously, they try to shoot RoleCup in the face. Terminator would be walking

towards Robocop, and then Robocop would be like, Freeze, Creep. Terminator's not going to stop. Robocop's going to keep shooting him, and Terminator's still not going to stop. And Robocop's going to be like, oh, well, this is fucking weird, because he's not dying. And then, but the time Terminator gets up to Robocop, within 30 seconds, he would have pulled off all his arms

and killed him. It's that easy. Who would win? The T-1,000, or Marty McFly? Marty Dumbass Drive circles around them You know what'd be interesting What?

If the Hear me out What if the T-1,000 Held A flux capacitor In one arm That's already Wrapped himself

Around Marty Like a suit Almost like a metal suit And then ran up to 8 8 miles an hour Would he time travel Sorry go back Seriously the T1000

Was part of the time car Yeah like yeah What if he like sort of Insulated Marty Like he almost like formed around him Like a metal suit and then ran as like Marty up to 8,8 miles an hour.

He could do that. I think if the fact that he's metal, I think if you just fucking hugged the car, it would go back in time with him, right? Does he need to hug like a car battery too to power the flux capacity? And also, what's the, what's the, is there like a radius around the car that goes back in time?

Wait there? Like, do bugs get trapped on the windshield? Do they go back in time too? Is there like a force field around the car or is just everything that's inside the car? So like if the T-1000 Slated to like the exhaust pipe, when you go back in time?

I'd say yes You'd think so? I'd say yeah What if a... What if a cat was underneath the car Inside the exhaust pipe With the cat go back in time? Apparently the outside of the car

Gets really, really cold He probably wouldn't be able to get up to 80 miles 88 With the cat and the tail pipe What if it was like hanging At the bottom of the car like that? You remember Back to Future One Where it reappeared

It was like freezing cold And they just sort of ignored that rule From that on there It was like... Oh yeah! There was fucking fire over the wheels After that. It was really cool effect

And then they're just like, yeah, this is too much work. It was like ice cold. It's like, what, what? Is it hot, Doc? And he's like, no, it's cold. Yeah. Yeah, I always thought that was pretty cool. Because when you're a kid, you're like, wow, why is it cold?

Where'd he go? Why is it cold? What happened? I bet he went to Alaska. What did he do to Alaska? What did he even do to Alaska? What did he think? What?

Doc Brown, what do you think he were doing Alaska? I don't know. That's the dumbest question you probably ever asked, ever in the history. You said he was Alaska? I don't know why he'd go to Alaska? I agree with Tampa. That's a terrible question. Why did you say Doc Brown goes to Alaska?

Because the car was cold, dumb ass! Why did he drive to Alaska? He could go back any time he wants to. He goes to fucking Alaska, where there's bears? Because Alaska's cold. He can go back to 1850, he goes to see the polar bears? Are you done? Are we done with this?

Who do you think would win to the fight if aliens, if he went to Alaska, the aliens abducted Doc Brown? Do you think Doc Brown could kill the aliens? He's not really a... If he fucking galleers their eyes out. Like their big black eyes? He fucking sticks his thumbs inside of him. him before they can grab him.

You can't do that because when aliens surround your bed that you're paralyzed for some reason. He breaks out of like the Hulk. He comes free and fucking gouges the riders out what would they do?

He's pretty worthless personally. Without his technology. Yeah. Wait, did he ever have a job before just being like a guy? Wasn't he really richly quit his job?

Because he had the idea for the flux capacity he was taking a shit or something? I don't know. No, he had a huge house. He hit his head or something? Yeah, but he had a huge fucking house before all that.

Yeah. Where do you get all his money from? Yeah, it's like a family thing or something. I don't know. Maybe he's just some entitled shithead that... Maybe he was like a good... Maybe he did throw together

some good adventures or something. I think that's what they say he did. He had like this spaghetti helmet that did something work. Yeah, but my point is, you get the idea that maybe he was a failed... That's true, I don't know. He was a huge failure.

Maybe he was a porn star. Well, if he could pull together the DeLorean, I'm sure he put something together. He probably was responsible for inventing like the electric mixer. Poster or something, yeah. Maybe, yeah, maybe. It does feel like a family thing, though.

It does feel like a family thing, though. inherited the house and maybe he had rich parents like Brown Manor or something like that yeah he was pretty old though so maybe he just saved his money and spent to his life when that movie came out what would you do if your son was going as like bye dad I'm gonna go hang out with Doc Brown

and it's just like some old man who lives alone with his dog yeah his clocks everywhere what do you think they met that's creepy to think about it I don't know yeah what if you met an old man you're just like hey man I'm he's like what do you like you're like I like music and then he builds He builds a 12-foot speaker system for you.

Just for you. Yeah, that is very, like, pampering. That's what you hear of Dr. Phil. Like, guys, like, buy the little victims. Marty. Xbox is much, like, Xbox. Oh, what's it called? This, like, conditioning.

Yeah, conditioning. Yeah, conditioning. Yeah, conditioning them. You can use this any time you want. Yeah. Here's a key to my house. Like, licks and lips. I couldn't, like, I didn't think that he built that from Marty.

I just thought, when I was a kid, I thought Marty was a dick, because he walked into Doc's house and over blew everything. and destroyed his property. I was like, go apologize. Was that a different house than the house? The big house? Yeah.

He just seems like it. Yeah, you know, he moves to do a waste more house. Oh, right, right. He sells the house to do that. Oh, that's like a subtle thing. It's like, I guess he worked on the Delorean for so long

he couldn't afford his run anymore. Oh, yeah, it's like 30 years. His house and the house and like Peewee's big adventure are kind of similar in a way. Yeah. He's kind of got that breakfast like Rude Goldberg machine too, doesn't he?

Oh, yeah. I'm my thing. Am I... But that doesn't work either. I think it's back to future three, right? No. It opens one. It's in the 1800s, right?

It's not even for human... It's to feed the dog. Do they not have a breakfast thing, though? In 1800s where he fucking scrambles, the eggs and makes the toast? No, no, no. I think that's like a throwback to the first one to show you that the movies are related. Oh, okay, I see. Because he had, like, burning coffee and shit like that.

It was clearly, like, Doc hasn't been home for a while. Okay. He's clearly, like, really shitty at what he does. Except for the one thing that... time drama. That was pretty good idea. Yeah. He just fucking sits at home making things like an electric dog food can opener

that feeds his dog that probably took him like two months to build and then he's like, oh, I guess I'm going to make a time machine now. And then he steals plutonium from the Iranians or whatever? Yeah. What is it? It's the Egyptians or Iranians or something? Oh my God, yeah. Come on. Libyans.

Libyans. And he fucking shoot at his death. And then you get, you wonder, like. I think that's probably the one weird, maybe, it's just I watch him like... Well, where else is you gonna get it? I don't know. From the government,

maybe the government comes down with black helicopter? I don't know. What if you think they made, they met even? For such a... Doc and Marty? No, like Doc in the Libyans.

I don't know. He goes to the Middle East, like some bizarre. I don't think the body really them. They give this scientist who's never built a successful thing in his life, plutonium to build a bomb.

And he still doesn't build the bomb. He fails with that too. Yeah, he'd be on some kind of terrorist list now with Doc Brock. would be. Yeah. Yeah. And then for as smart as he is, he, like, lies to terrorists. Like, don't do

that. You can't do that. He lies to terrorists, and they know where he lives, too. They come with fucking screaming with AK-47s in the air. They even know he hangs out in the mall parking lot every night. How did they find him in the mall parking lot? Did they spy him or something? Recon. I guess. He's probably, like, by the way, you can find me

in the mall parking lot. But don't shoot me. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know how Doc and Marty even met to begin. It's like a weird breaking bads kind of situation. Maybe he was skateboarding down the street. He was like, get off my lawn. He's like, you seem kind of cool. Yeah, come on in.

You know, it's funny. Bam, bam, bam, bam. There's the prequel. Are we that out of ideas that we have to look at our walls for inspiration? We're going to run out. We have literally three movie posters on the wall. Terminator did that. Back to the Future,

did that. We got Ghostbusters. Might as well just talk about that now. Let's talk about Ray. and Egon and Winston Let's have a Winston cast Winston Winston

He has to be a ghostbuster With a bunch of cis white males Yeah disgusting Ugh A bunch of white guys Busting ghosts Wow that's not A bunch of white guys

Busting White ghosts Yeah wow Yeah where's all the black ghosts at Where's the 2014 ghosts How come you never see a black ghost In a movie You never see ghosts From it's always like a white

50-year-old people from 1805 who walked down with the just it's like in their dresses it's like man we're talking about this why is it like a black dude with like baggy pants and a hell's you know what I mean he's like a ghost with like a Sean John shirt yeah yeah there's never like anybody the pig Floyd t-shirt as a ghost walking around

yeah and just to call back for saying when we were talking about Titanic and it was a Titanic joke in Ghostbusters too yeah now if it ever made like if ever went to like Ghostbusters 13 would they have like oh the Twin Towers are back and there's a bunch of ghosts running around oh yeah that wasn't really Well, let's see.

8084 minus 1911, 12, 13. So is that like seven years? Yeah. So if we went to like year 20, if it was like 2070 or 2080. 2070. Is that when... 271. 9-11 is officially comedy material for people.

What's your cutoff? That South Park rule was like 23 years, making something funny AIDS, becomes funny after 23 years. Yeah, I think it would take a little longer than 23 years. I figured the Titanic just became funny after, um... that everyone who was alive during a die for the most part? Essentially, yeah, because then

you're not hurting feelings anymore. It's a sinking ship just inherently funny. Is that funnier than... I guess it's kind of funny. What is the most fucked up thing that you legitimately find funny? That's hard. Like, you mean that I think is inherently funny? Yeah. For me, it's people getting stone to death.

I'm horrified by that. Because it's like you're sitting in the middle of this ring. Nobody else agrees with me, but you're sitting in this middle of this group of people. And there's other and more effective ways. to kill you, right? But they're just finding whatever rocks they can.

They're trying to find good rocks and they just hit you with rocks. And there's kids and they throw really... Throw rocks with people? All right, I'll say somebody getting pulled into a wood chipper. It's kind of funny to me. That's horrible, that is just horrible.

I mean, come on now. Face first or feet first? Face first is the only way to go. I haven't had this joke in one of my cartoons. Like, if you get ran over by a tank would be more fucked up going like feet first or head first.

Feet first. If you had feet first. If you had feet first. you'd hear him screaming all the way to the head. I saw this video, this is not funny. I think this is probably the funny. Did you, I think you guys watch Venture Brothers? I've seen a couple of episodes.

There's one episode. It's like season one, it's really early one. There's season two where there's like, basically, the whole joke is like the hopes of this dude's squirming in pain. He's some ghost, they put him to rest. But there's a video I saw of this dude who lit himself on fire and then regret it and it's fucking screaming just like that. And he's like screaming and running down a hallway on fire.

And it's not funny. But it's, I laughed at it because it reminded me of that. But it was in a cartoon. It wasn't meant to be funny. No, well, the cartoon was supposed to be funny, but in real life, a guy lit himself on fire and running on fire. All like Buddhist style tried to look. Yeah, but he was like, oh, shit, no, I don't want it. I don't think anything to do with fire is funny, is funny to me.

It's horrifying. It's horrifying. It's horrible. It's horrible. We were talking about the harlequin fetus is pretty funny. Jellybee eyes, you were saying? Jelly. All right.

Guilty is charged. You like the jellybee eyes. I did find the harlequin syndrome thing funny. Jelly bean eyes. He called them jellybee eyes. It's the place you have a real week. Jelly beans. I still remember when he made that arcade stick design

where like the buttons were like, oh no, I made that. Never mind. I made an arcade stick design were like the two red buttons in the middle were like the harlequin eyes. People had the dumbest fucking arcade stick designs. I actually heard that when you light yourself on fire

that your pain, like your pain receptors cut off faster than you think because you're burning through your nerve endings. I think probably the scream would be also psychological because you're watching your fucking skin melt and see you're, you know, feeling your eyes blood on your head. Well, not if you're sitting like a Buddhist with your eyes closed praying. I would die.

They also say that your eyes melt, your brains melt out of you, those and then something about inhaling nothing but smoke while you're sitting there. Oh, that sounds horrible. It's probably going to get you faster than you think, too. I would let Egyptians pull my brain out of my nose with fish hooks before I allowed that. I would not. What do you think the worst way to die would be, that you would, like, regret? Well, I don't think I'd be around to regret it. But I would, not regret, sorry, what's the worst thing that you'd be

afraid of encountering that would be horrible to you. Oh, you know what? Probably something simple. Like, if I was floating around in the middle of the ocean and there's a fucking shark, you just see him, and the whole time you're waiting for him, because you know he's coming for you, and he's just fucking with you, and he's just swimming

around. Taking bites off, too. Like, yeah, taking little love bites off your feet and stuff, and you know you're fucked because you're in the middle of the damn ocean. And then the question's like, well, do I stick my head under and help he bites it off, or do I wait to fucking eat me and half? Do I do that thing where I punch him in the face and stab his eyes out? Why, so his friends can come and take revenge.

And also, if you bites your leg on, through Sittler's screaming, you're just kind of waiting, what if you bites it, he goes there, I don't like it, and he goes away. Now you're bleeding out in the fucking ocean. And you don't know what else is it. Why is he going to bite me and go, uh, I don't know. It's testing it. What if you were out on a safari and all of a sudden the hungry lion saw you, and there was one

big rock in the middle of, like, nowhere. And it was just you on one side and him on the other. And it's just this game of trying to stay on the other side of the rock from this fucking hungry line, and this just went on for hours and hours. I'll tell you what, I would scream, I'd go like a fucking, like a crazy empty, but hopefully he'd think, and hopefully he's

like, yeah, I don't want to deal with this guy. Oh, you'd open your shirt up and say, yeah, yeah, he'd be fucking finding you out of advertising. Yeah, yeah. And he would just stare at me and fucking give me anyways, but I'd give it a try. I'd lift my shirt up and he'd see my gross titties, and he'd be like,

and run away. He'd get a big wrench and show it to him. You like this lion? Do you like it? He'd get so jealous that he would get so jealous that he would just like. He'd look at his own dick and cover his legs up and and walk away. He's head just cocked to the side and he's just looking at any, well, yeah, he just kind of...

I'll tell you the worst death would be, like, if you go to Mexico or go to some part in Iraq and be beheaded by these... Oh, that'd be the worst way to die, I think. Well, they don't just chop your head off. They sit and saw it and it's fucking gross. Yeah, sometimes, too, they cut only the throats, so your spine still attached to your stole. Or they'd be caught. Or they'd give a knife to, like, and then they're, like, and then they're struggling. Oh, man.

I saw a video of Dad, like, he was like, hi, can't cut the steak. He's coming there and teaching his son how to use the dough blade to fuck me. Change the conversation. There's two videos There's two brands of videos That I refuse to watch I don't care if there's a prize at the end For a billion dollars

I don't watch beheading videos And I don't watch videos Where animals I don't watch I don't watch animals Why don't stamp or not Why don't we discuss the most disturbing video You ever sent me Okay

Do you know which one I was Do you want the goldfish? Yes The goldfish video What's the goldfish video? I barely remember that video And fish don't count as animals Oh my God

What's the goldfish video? I'll see if I can recall it. Oh yeah, I was good. Staborg and fill in any gaps. So basically it was this weird, almost like a weird porno in a way, but this woman... I don't think anyone was fucking, though. Yeah, it was just more like a sexual atmosphere.

This woman's wearing like a lycra or spandex suit. And I think there were two phases. One was she was dumping live goldfish into her suit. And people were slowly... This dude was like taking his time pinching, slowly pinching, The goldfish to death threw the suit. Like they were all pressed up against her skin. Yeah, yeah, you can see him wiggling.

He just slowly crush them with his fingers, like one by one. And then for some reason, they threw a bunch of them in a food processor alive, blending them up, and then dumped all that into her suit, too. She, like, blended it really slow. She kept tapping the button. Yeah, like... Yeah, that video was fucking weird. And I can't find it.

Yeah, I can't... I've loved... Not that I want to. Every year I do, like, a five-minute Google search. See if I can find it, and I can't. I'm kind of glad, though. It's like a relief. I'm like, all right, I can't find it.

Do you type in what happens? Do you type a guy pitches goldfish in spandex suit? Yes, I type every, I type, yeah, like spandex suit, pinched goldfish food processor. Nothing ever comes up. You say blender. Blender. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's a latex body suit.

Maybe because it's a Japanese video. Crazy Japanese people. Guy Gene wars. He probably had some weird language. Some on English language, the worst kinds. You're going to tuck it yourself out with the racist jokes. I didn't do it too many I just said

Somebody's gonna like When we're up to like episode 50 Somebody's gonna go back And cut out every Every Hitler lines Axis is gonna be like Three hours long Yeah I only brought up

Hiller Wides I asked if you could fight the Hulk I think it's a pretty reasonable question Episode three We're gonna have a dead spot And it's gonna be like Who would win in a battle Between Hitler and

Superman Everyone's gonna be like What is that's problem What is the last thing We were talking about Goldfish pinched to death of a suit. Oh yeah.

Yeah, that sucked. Next. So, working in their grounds, any crazy stories? Nah. Any wacky story? We should save that one for another day. That's a good idea.

Yeah. It's a good idea? Because, because we all go to, you know. All I remember is, it's like, completely actually unrelated to the company. It's just more, like I was saying to Zach earlier, like the letter you wrote to the, uh,

that text to like the like the like 401k guy oh yeah say his family should die yeah that's pretty funny in a fire

in a fire in a car in a fire alive you should burn to death alive yeah I think there's a clip in there too yeah yeah and then he wrote Tom really upset about it

you said he said he couldn't sleep for one night or something he said he was like he's like I think he accused stamper of like needing some kind of psychological help or something. Yeah, he said something like... Well, because you weren't paying fucking attention

in the meeting, you didn't remember giving him your fucking email. And you thought he was just like a spam, spamming you. No, see, nobody believes me. I knew who he was. When he sent me... He kept... If you think that I didn't know who he was, and that assumes that I respond to every spam message

I get from everybody. So you... Okay. You intentionally... So you weren't incompetent. You're just a really mean person. I guess you're... you can say that. I just, I don't like that guy. I think he's a fucking asshole. Why did you give him your email? Because it was the first thing we had to fill

out and I was like, I was really... You can tick those so they don't show up, they can go and I was really psyched to get the whole 401K thing started and then it just felt like an idiot the whole fucking time and I wasn't getting any help from that fucking words that I can't say right now. Wow. What words?

Yeah, he said something like yeah, I think somebody on your staff is unstable or something like that. And I still don't have a fucking your 401K. I'll tell you why it's so fucking awkward. It's because my parents use the guy for some of their finances. And it's like I'm afraid to ever see him, look at him, say Newgrounds, say, you know, I'm afraid like he's going to be like, oh shit, you're a guy.

You're the parents of one of those guys. I'll go kill myself now. We talked a lot about suicide and death so far. Yeah. This is a pretty bleak podcast. Everyone's going to be psyched like, oh, wow, I wonder what they're talking about. Suicide, catch you at heart, being killed them in space.

They got to listen to this. Yeah. Hitler, Popples. That's kind of cool. Transformers. The Hulk. Harlequin syndrome. Hulk would be this.

Gulbush being killed. You have to have like a positive, something positive to wrap it all up with. Fuck this snow. Yeah, Zach. How do we end this on a positive note? Hey, let me do it. I'll answer for Zach.

Uh, what was Hitler's favorite pizza toppings? Uh, Jew Dead Jews The ashes of millions of Jews You can't fit the ashes millions of Jews On olives I don't know

A pizza I guarantee you fucking Hitler Would like olives-sized pizza Probably Yeah He seems like an olive guy Maybe he was just a vegetarian I think he was though actually

I don't think he would have liked Jew meat Right Is that offensive to say Jew meat? Meet No that's whatever it says Sounds like a username That's a common Ju-Eat 01

Oh, 1, because, like, Jew meat was taken. I don't know. I don't know how it worked exactly, but the Nazis hated everybody who wasn't. Or, no, like, I guess... I mean, they specifically, Jews were definitely a scapego, but, yeah, like, gays and cripples. Well, no, like, did they hate Italians, for example? Everyone hates Italians. Like, would Hitler eat pizza is what I'm saying?

What do you mean, like, he, like, do you think he wouldn't eat pizza because he just like Italians? Yeah Yes I do Maybe I don't know What do you think he did like German food Yeah Just brought worst and sourcrow

That's probably So pissed all the time Eating cabbage and sausage He had like He had like irritable vows for something He had some kind of weird intestinal thing How do you know all this shit about Hitler?

I don't I made that up Oh Don't look it up It sounds like he would though Sex like I don't like Hitler And every time we ask him something

There's like some Faction It's like really I don't like Hitler Especially said since 1905 when he was 10 years old. Yeah, well... It all began.

It all began in a small cabinet in other woods. But I'm not... I don't like him, though. I don't like him, even though he's handsome and strong, and he took out of the Jews. He had good goals. You're like, when you come up with lies for Hitler, they're like, within the realm of reason. You just say something like...

Hitler had to grow a toenail. He was fucking weird. He was kind of a handsome fellow without his mustache. Yeah. He sucks he kind of ruined the dog. He decided to look silly. He ruined that mustache for everybody. Yeah, no one has the Hitler mustache anymore. Do you think if you had like a Hitler bar mustache, people would have that anymore? You got to be pretty fucked up to ruin an entire facial hairstyle.

I was friends of mine and I think somebody's done this joke by now, but yeah, we'd always talk about like, what if some guy in America named John Hitler? And he would just show up and he'd say, hey, I'm John Hitler. And everyone's like, that's not funny. Yeah, they just, they're really, just a really un-fortunately. My grandfather was Hitler. Stop it. But I've Googled it. There's actually our.

people in this country with the last name of Hitler and they just kept that name for a job any kind of interview. You'd think that the family name would just start changing that shit. I would believe you'd be it. My name was like fucking Hildick Hitler. I would assume that people stopped using Adolf

for their kids. Adolf is probably yeah. It's a great name though. I like it. I'm going to bet. I'm one of the few thousand Adolf out there. Adolf. Adolf. It's kind of like Rudolph. I always like the name Rudolf. It wasn't tied to that stupid fucking reindeer. Adolf for Redler's Reddardier.

Hey, I'm going to have a son, and I'm going to name him Rudolph Stamper, and he's going to get his ass beat every day. You know, if Hitler got a... If Hitler was a transsexual, he would probably call himself Adel Hitler. What the fuck are you talking about, Jeff? Heddao. Well, Hidal is German.

Is it? He used to be Hodel. Hodel. Hello, I'm Zekron. Hello, I'm German. What is it? He's a retard. Hello.

That was our cold. Well, I'm German too. Yeah, I got a German last week. That doesn't mean I don't like Jews or anything, Zach. Jews are A-O-K in my book. I just think their food kind of sucks. That's all. Oh, yeah.

You ever had noodle Kugel? I hate Kugel. This shit is fucking interesting. Yeah. Admittedly, I haven't had that much in the way of Jewish cuisine, and I'm sure there's a lot of tasty dishes out there, but, man, Coogel is a travesty. It's like egg noodles with gravy and fucking raisins in it.

Yeah, raisins. And you're eating it, and it's like, it doesn't, it's like having a bowl of cereal in the morning, right? But for some reason, some asshole put pickles in it. Like, it just, it's like, there's this over here. It's like shit in it that just doesn't make sense. I probably told you guys, like, my favorite episode of anything ever on the Food Network is one of those food challenge shows. So this dude has to go prepare, like, a huge banquet. feast for a Jewish community center.

Oh, just a pig dude, right? Yeah, and apparently, you know, he's, like, struggling to, like, get all this kosher food, and he meets, like, the one Jewish person in charge, and he's like, yeah, this might be a problem, but, and he, like, pulls his, like, shirt collar down, and there's a tattoo of a bacon strip on his chest. Of the guy cooking the Jewish food. Like, he loves bacon somewhat.

He loves... You got a tattoo of bacon? Yeah, there's a tattoo of fucking bacon on him. And he's just sitting there sweating. I'm like, oh, boy. I got to... They think he's gonna... They're gonna beat his ass or something?

I don't know. It's just, uh... You just say you used to be a cop and you got you up. People used to call me a pig. I will go on record. I think, uh... I think the kosher thing is extremely silly, though. You're...

Oh, yeah. I got bacon tattooed on me because I used to be a cop and they used to call me a pig, so I thought it was funny to embrace that. Because then say I love bacon. Like, you fucking... Look at you.

You know you bacon? The Jews aren't fucking Nazi Germans, man. it's not like they're going to... There are a couple of not to use. No, besides the point, it's not like they're going to... Two or three, they're a couple. Look at you and be like, oh, you eat bacon? Fuck you.

Fuck you. They'll hiss at you. I think he wanted to put, like, bacon and pork and all the recipes. That's why... Oh, that's a bad idea. Yeah. I just think, yeah, the whole kosher thing is weird. The biggest problem for me is that if you have that little stamp on your package of food,

it's like, oh, it's okay to eat, you know, is governed by whatever. But who... Who's to see? say by king Jew, a king of the Jews. Like with the crap that comes out of factories and you tell me that like I'm sure a lot of kosher food

is good but I'm sure people have been in the rules because people are inherently fucking lazy. They're really doing the whole rich There's no way they have precautions. Cut of cows throat in the proper way. I keep reading about these Hasidic Jew rabbis like, do you read about that, Zach? When they...

The Hasidic Jews? When they, you know, when they circumcise babies, they'll actually... Oh, they suck the dick of the baby. Yeah, yeah. They'll suck the blood out with their mouth and then give them like a disease. Yeah, they get herpes and shit. They brush their teeth first? Yeah, with the dick.

I mean, it gave me a huge heart on, but... What? So they actually, like, nip the tip off and then suck the blood out? Yeah. Okay. But then it gives them herpes, babies' herpes, and some die from it. How do you get hurt? Well, doesn't the...

The dude, the big dude who sucks the baby off has herpes. Yeah. On his mouth, and he sucks the baby off. Well, he's not sucking the baby off. Oh, yeah, he is. Kind of. Maybe he doesn't see it as a sexual thing, but... He's sucking the baby out.

Well, I guess a sexual view was playing with the kids' balls and stuff, too. Yeah. He's like, this is tradition. The face of the tits, which one? I didn't know that. That's kind of, uh... It's fucked up. It's interesting.

Creepy. I'm gonna stop reading stuff on the internet now. What, but do you, are you guys... Do you guys... Yes, I'm circumcised. Do you wish you were that circumcised, though? Why'd you assume that I was circumcised? Because you're an American, you're white there.

You gotta be circumcised. I'm not a fucking jose. You're a privileged. A lot of Christians are, though. I think most people in America are, yeah. You know, like, yeah, it's the... Or most males, at least, yeah.

Yeah. Well, you, Jeff, you cut? You fucking... I am cut. And I got, uh, I got baptized the magic water, and I got the whole deal. I got this theory that if you draw, like, weeners for flash cartoons,

or if you draw, like, dicks in general, on boards or whatever, the dick you draw on the board is pretty much what yours looks like. Every now and again, you'll see a guy draw, like, a weird yam, and you're like, oh, so he's uncut there. Yeah, Stamper draws the best cut dicks ever. That's because I look at mine all the time.

I don't know how you draw them so well. It's like they're, they're just so three-dimensional. Even like the veins are. Yeah, you drew it earlier. The Nidgety turtle, what you drew is pretty fucking. I have to make this hot or anything. Yeah, you're making me horny. Stop.

Not like to think about his penis. Making my mouth water. I don't know. It's kind of gay, but I'm like, envious how well you draw dicks. You know what the sad part is? What? This is probably the thing that I could draw the best. Like if people captured you and they're like, draw the best dick you can, they'd be like, oh.

I'd be like, oh, yeah, if you draw the best dick you can, I'm going to kill your family, I'd be like, there you go, and there you go. That'd just, that'd be like a dick factory. I'd just be throwing him out. But then if he was like, draw Bart Simpson, I'd be like, oh, God. I could draw Bart Simpson's dick if you want. Bart Simpson's little dick. I'll be right back. I have to go pee-pee with my ding-dong.

Good luck. I don't need love. Where the head do you get those pants anyway? I have Jesus on my side. Suzie made them for me Oh They're comfortable as shit They look comfortable

Mm-hmm And there's a little heart on the butt Yeah I noticed So that we didn't have a topic So we just started talking Zach Yeah What is going on with science

This week They discovered a guy Who could run really fast Was he a white cis male He was a white cis male He was a white male Yes And you know

With these fat Tubler disgusting fat tumbler people tried to chase them out and stop it but they These disgusting But their genetics prevented them from running after

it because their genetics You know Stop them from chasing this guy Yeah And they all died of heart attacks From running two feet Instead of discussing politics We should just have our

Tumblr news update Made fun of Tumblr for two hours Yeah I can't believe you introduced me To that world I was so happy before I lived in a huge fucking rock up and show you all the centipies

and really pull these. I gotta look at human beings who tell you what their fucking pronouns are now, and I gotta... They watch DieHund. They're like, wow, Bruce Willis is a white guy? What a surprise.

They're actually mad. Straight people exist now. Straight white guys. Straight isn't good enough. Gay isn't good enough. You have to be... Some weird... A magical hybrid of several things

to be the most special of all. I was born with a dick in balls, and I like the pussy. I like... I got a pussy. He almost went like Italian there. I got a pussy. Spiritually.

I have a majestic centipede. What's a cool animal? Centipede, kin? You just feel male, female, and centipede. Yeah, I feel all my legs all over the place. I walk on all 30 of my legs. You walk through the mall on all fours and you get mad and people like look at you weird. They say, what are you doing, sir?

And I say, sir, to centipede. Get the fuck away from me. Unless you have problems What it's like Is like having a spirit animal Like a thing now? It's a big thing But it's not even a thing

It's like Oh god You identify with animals Or something I guess Really? I don't know Where's the whole world You don't know about

You're fucking lucky There's a whole world I don't want to know about Because I got my own problems Baby It's a maddening It's an infuriating look into Jeff was happy

He used to walk into the I used to skip me to the office Every day And now I'm reading the shit daily Getting mad Losing my fucking mind Nobody's twisting your arm Why you subject yourself to that shit?

I get obsessed with infuriating people, like Zach. It's fascinating, though. You look at these people when you wonder how they exist. These goddamn... Maybe they look at you and wonder how you exist. I don't give a fuck. These goddamn parents out there neglect their child, and he sits home all day on the computer,

and... Completed about how Robert Williams is a one guy who does. He turns into one of these horrible creatures. Horrible, privileged, jobless, entitled, selfish creatures. I'm so oppressed. When I was born into a family who made... It makes $200,000 a year. Yeah. It paid my way through college.

I saw a white homeless guy and said, check your privilege. You fucking white asshole. Oh, is that what check your privilege means? Yes. Is that what CYP means? CYP? I don't know. I don't pay.

I'm so fucking sick and tired of anagrams. Every door, not anagrams, acronyms. I have to look up, like, what is TV? What the fucking? Oh, it means whatever. You know what I was looking up, like, a million fucking times is when people say SMH? Oh, I did that too, smack my head, right? shake my head or whatever.

You're so stupid SMH. I never knew what that one was. What the fuck is SMH? Yeah, I know. It really irritates me. You just fucking speak English. The only one I know or... We just leave it out.

The only one I actually use is like, I don't really use LOL that much. I guess LOL. We use LOL sarcastically. By the way, I use sometimes B-TW. Sometimes I do that. I never use OMG. I like BRB guys. Because when I get tired talking to people, I'm just like BRB.

Oh, dude, BBL is a fucking lifesaver. B-Bak later. What is that? Be Back Later. Oh. That's actually a really old one from like fucking 96. I'm surprised you haven't seen that one. Because Be right back means people are sitting there waiting for you.

But if you say Be Back Later, they go do whatever I want to. I can get up and do not have to talk to you anymore for an extended period of time acronym. Well, BBL. All right, so we're going to get out of here for now. Join us next time when we'll hopefully talk about more important shit. Bye! Sorry, I said that too loud. Bye!

Oh, ha ha ha. I'm going back to the hell. Oh. Back to the hell? Shut up, Zach. God. Go crazy.