SleepyCabin - SleepyCast S2:E11 - [The Adventures of Big Dick Rick]

Episode Date: February 6, 2016

What song would you whistle while murdering your victims? Why does Chris want Orcs to molest his D&D character? How will Cory and Mick survive an apocalyptic Earth invasion by butt-fingering 12-foot tall aliens? Find out this and more. And don't forget to dress for the award ceremony. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Your hosts for the evening: Oney (www.youtube.com/user/OneyNG) Ricepirate (www.youtube.com/user/ricepiratenewgrounds) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/user/Spazkidin3D) Podcast editing by: Niall - Initial edit Tom Ryan - Main Edit Ricepirate - Final pass +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Shane Danells . Ryan Pagonis . Creeps McPasta Brian Adam . Nicholas Rose . Jace Baker Denis DeLong . Liam Staley . Sonny Canchola Susparty . Paul Raymond . ubernoobinator Matt Gronhovd . Travis Wager . Rodolfo Davis Millet Windmill Punches . Corbin Record . Dean Borris Andrew Dore . Elecktricd00m . Bill Zhuang Dani Rucker . Dazzanator . Conner St. John Phillip Tafoya . Hudson Heitmeier . Sam Child Yuval Birenzweig . Dan Jakab . Thomas King Chaney Rockwell . Jacob Arends . Andreas Tautra Sylte Chris Moore +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

Hey guys, hey guys, hey girls, hey gals, hey guys, welcome to the podcast with Chris and Corey. I want, I fucked that up. Shoot one more time. Hey guys. Motherfuckers. Don't do it again, because Corey was sniffing. Guys and gals, welcome back. Oh my God, I'm going to murder.

I'm going to murder. I'm going to do a murder. It's going to happen. Kid Corey, shut up! There is a world as tangible as our own. Impossible to see yet. Unavoidable descends A world enveloped by a seemingly

unending ocean of forests Buried deep in that forest tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight Lies a quaint little cabin And in that cabin It's a bunch of guys He's a bunch bullshitter

Hey everybody Welcome to Sleepy Cash Featuring Your friend Rice Pirate Mick What a big ugly retard Yeah Next to his right is my friend

My best friend and Corey Spats Kid And I'm your host Chris O'Neill Welcome, y'all That's all have a nice A nice tall glass of milk And begin the podcast

With some questions Sounds fucking great dude This is from our wonderful patrons On Patreon.com Don't need to our Patreon Or we will kill ourselves for real Great people All right sorry read the question

Plummer Party January 5th 2016 asks How do you guys feel about moccasins? Would you wear them with or without socks? To me, to me, this sounds like a Dr. Seuss ride. Man, we should have saved that for the climax of the show. What the fuck is this? Would you wear them here and there?

Would you wear them everywhere? I wear mocks without socks. What if the fuck is a mox? The only problem is that if you wear moccasins without socks, they get really sweaty sometimes. Where do you get moccasins? At Walmart? No, you get them from like the Birkenstocks. Well, no. I don't wear fucking Pocohannis footwear.

Yes. Native Americans, Eskimos, Lesbians, and hipsters, and people who like comfy shoes in their house, wear moccasins. Because they do keep your feet warm. I get cold feet, so you would love moccasins. Okay. Hey, I'm gonna get you a pair of moccasins for Christmas. This is a true, Chris O'Neil fact. This is not a liar or a false fabrication.

I get cold feet like shit. Liar! I do, I do! And why do your feet sweat so much? They don't. I get cold feet and they're always really cold. You're a liar. That's why I have showers twice a day because I want to warm up my feet halfway. I wear socks all the time. Yes, it's not a lie. It's probably a circulation thing. I think it is. I think because like you're nine feet tall and get really They don't get any bloods. What about you, Corey? Would you wear moccasins? You would actually love fucking moccasins. I wear socks all the time

roaming around the Newgrounds office and your fresh pair of shiny moccasins. I don't, you know, this is this is something that's always been like it's like bizarre because it's like really strange to people. Especially for Lexi. Lexi told me to get a pair of of sleepy pants. I don't know what they're called. Pajamas? Pajamas? It's the same thing. She told me to get a pair of pajama pants and I always forget to wear. Do you want sleepy pants with a little panel in the back so you can poop out, put out the back?

I actually want adult under ruse. Adult on the ruse? Underrews. Underrews. Oh, underroos. Oh, is that those like long johns? Corey made up a word, didn't you? Underreuse is a real term.

Okay. Is that for like the long johns? It's for like, it's like. Like when farmers get angry and they run out of the farmers? farmhouse and they're in their big red singlet thing? No, those whitey tides. Underwerees. Those are Dungarees.

Yeah, those are Dungarees. You guys are fucking with me. No, Underreuse and Dungarees and Munga-Dooze and Mung-a-Reeze. Under-Rooze is like the children's safe version of boxer shorts. For little children, so they're like- Wait, why are they children safe? What's so dangerous about normal? Because they're just for kids, they're under-roos.

They're not even called Boxer Shorts. That doesn't sound very kid-like. I've seen like this weird, like, trend of, of like adult women or at least like 20s and 30s starting to get like really kid like underwear have you seen that there's a word for it like they have like panties with like hello kitty on it and shit like it's coming back that's weird yeah it's kind of hot and weird this is me off yeah I'm like mom I'm out of underwear can I get some of dads underwear she's like sure going back and then I grab my dad's underwear and he wears these like tidy whitties it's like yeah but it's your dad's like huge for I have accidentally gotten like my dad's underwear before and it's like the fucking parachute. But it's not comfortable. I stopped wearing tidy-witties before I reached my actual double-digit age. I feel like you graduate. You go from like tidy-witties. You wear tidy-whitties. Yeah, tiny-wydies. Oh, why?

You're not comfortable. I think it's meant to restrict your peony. Hey, bittersweet prints, January 5th, 2016. I'm seeing a very common thing with these usernames. If you guys to edit, change something in Star Wars movie, which movie would it be and what would you do with the movie? I would edit episode 1.com. two and three, I would highlight the whole thing in press delete.

Whoa. So three? Three is okay. Three was okay. I think three is the best of the old ones, but it's not really saying much. Yeah. I would change where it was like, Djangafet was like the number one clone and I would make it so it was actually like

practical to like what they did and where they retconned it in the future and made it like, you know, just clones of like other troops and stuff and I would do that. And if I was to change something, I would take what they did in the animated series, the Samurai Jack style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would force that to be what they do. you for the real movie and then everyone would fucking love that movie. Yeah. And I would say

fuck this waste of time for the original. Yeah. I would say the only thing cool that I liked about the first episode was the Pod Racer, the F0 race that they did. That was cool. I'd just make that the whole movie. I mean, that would get awful. Okay. Eric Kisting

asks, hello Eric. You are now the CEO of Disney. What is the first thing you do? Right. I fire everybody at Maker Studios because They all deserve to fire. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit!

I closed. Fucking called that shit out. Make me alone. Also, I would, uh, I would be all like, you know the way when 100 years or 50 years passes that stuff becomes like up for grabs? Yeah. They got rid of that. Wait, what do you mean?

So now what? So, you know, like, Captain American stuff? Yeah. Technically, that, like, that would have been up for anyone to be able to make whatever they wanted with that. Oh, like a movie or... But then Disney was, like, they went to the course of whatever, and they undid all that. So I would undo what they undid.

Right. And then everyone could make Captain American. fan fiction and get away with it. Basically, if you were the CEO of Disney, you'd bring back Captain America. No. You would free Captain America. You would free Captain America for Tierra. I would free all of that shit. All of them. Yeah, because that's why they still own Mickey Mouse.

Mickey Mouse is fucking, he's way up for grabs like years ago, but they changed it. But then they put him in that video game with fucking cloud. I would, I would free the copyright to Frozen and sell to the Chinese market and make millions. What does that mean? I'll tell you what I do. I go in the good old Uncle Wall. vaults vault. I'd fucking grab a stack of cash, put it in a black gym bag. I'd go down on the strip. I'd fucking get a bunch of hookers. And I'd get a bunch of blow. You're the CEO. I'd fucking

go back to, yeah, that's right. I'm the motherfucking CEO. They don't even care. I got the money. They don't even care. I'd be like, yo hoes. CEO of Disney and they'd all be like, let's get in the car. We don't go back to my place and we fuck. That's what I would do. I think the idea of like Disney being like, yeah, I work for Disney. People look at you like you're like a man-child rapist like you're like a pedophile. Like they're looking at you like we're going to go back to the Disney world, we're gonna fucking the

You know it's kind of sad though if you think about it Because like the CEO of Disney Isn't even really known for like animation At this point Disney's such a conglomerate It owns so many different things It's just like you're a business guy Who owns TV channels And product lines and whatever

Yeah It's always bothered me Like you know you know the faithful characters of Disney Like Mickey Mouse Donald and Goofy. Yes. The only one I even like. Goofy. No, I like Donald. Oh yeah, Donald's cool. Donald is the only one I like. I find Mickey to be boring. I find goofy to be Somewhat tolerable, but he still kind of is one personality where he's just a clutz and he's a goofy idiot

But I like Donald because Donald like he gets angry. It's weird that you say that because when I was younger I like I didn't care for Mickey Mess. I'm older now. I don't care for Mickey Mess still, right? When I was younger I love goofy and I didn't care for Donald but now I'm older and I like Donald and I don't care for Yeah, it's like, I mean, I understand goofy, and I can see his appeal, and he still has personality in the movies. Yeah. But Mickey is fucking one-cut, cookie-cutter boring shit. Yeah. He's the poster child for Disney, and he's so boring.

That's the problem, though, is that you get, like, Leonardo syndrome. Like, you just become the bland, like, good guy, you know what I mean? And he doesn't do anything. It's like, it's just, he's a boring character. Hell, fucking Pluto, his goddamn dog has more personality than he does. Minnie Mouse is also, she might as well just be fucking, like, the embodiment of sandpaper. Daffy, or sorry, Donald is like Batman. Yeah, no, Minnie Mouse is like, like I said.

Aquaman is goofing. Minnie Mouse is like the embodiment of fucking sandpaper. She's useless except for that one job. She sucks Mickey's dick, and that's all she's good at. And Daisy, I think... She's got sassed. Yeah, I like Daisy because she's sassy, and she's also, I think she's hotter than Minnie.

And that's the thing, too. Like, Donald has such a, like, a cool family. Like, he has the Scrooge McDuck. He has the Huey-Dooey-Looie. Granted, they didn't do so hot on their own, but... Whoie Dewey and Louie? I need to go pee roll quick. Isn't that their name?

Louis Dewey and Louie? Yeah, Dewey. I mean, I don't know much about Mickey Mouse aside from what I've learned growing up, but I've always thought Mickey Mouse is just like a very bland character. What do you think it's, what do you think gets him angry, though? What pushes his buttons?

Granted though, and I know I'm probably getting crucified for all the stuff I said prior, but the new Mickey Mouse, how they portray him in the cartoons now. Yeah, oh, he's way more animated. On YouTube? Oh, I love those. He's got total personality in that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can see like when he's angry. You can see when he's excited. He's a lot more sassy. Yeah, and he's got, even if he's a hero, he can still, like, pull some punches. I think Mickey now is way fucking better. He also gets his ass kicked a lot, which is kind of fun.

Yeah. Like, you see him getting, getting effed with. I think Mickey from the 90s was boring, but I think 2000s Mickey is much better. That's my personal opinion. Yeah, the new, I think the new Mickey, if he was to look back at the old Mickey, he'd be like, who's his fucking Melvin.

Yeah. But in the same way, it's like Looney Tunes. Like, I like the old Looney Tunes. Like, I like how the old... But see, that's the opposite then, Because I feel like, yeah, the old Looney Tunes had more sass. Yeah. And the newer ones are like these weird washed out parodies of like the old characters.

Yeah. While I think the new Mickey is definitely, I think, more up to par with what's going on now. Most definitely. He's hip. Yeah, he's cool. He uses Bitcoin. He rides a hoverboard, which isn't really a hoverboard. It's that stupid fucking skateboard hoverboard.

He goes on the dark web to snuff private sites and he watches people get axed. Oh, boy, they save me a seat. Oh, no. Cut her a little bit Yeah, let me see her bleed Okay, that's enough. It's just creepy Mickey would not do that with his bitcoin He would spend him on drugs and weed

Yes, he'd be blazing not fucking watching snuff Donald would be on YouTube looking at like ducks, rape, dead ducks And he'd like I came back at the right time That's Donald Doug drinking He'd be like He sees a duck like fuck the dead duck. We're talking about if like Mickey was really a freak behind closed doors.

He's not this vanilla family. He's already a freak because Minnie is like identical to Mickey except that she, you know, its eyelashes and a bow on top of its head. Here's a game theory. He's like fucking himself essentially. This is important. Wait. Okay, wait. Mickey's dick. How did Walt Disney draw it?

Like a pig dick. Is it black like the bottom of his? That's what I'm saying. Is it all black? Is it all pink? But here's a game theory. Have you ever seen Mickey and Minnie in the same room? Yes.

Many times. This is a fucking fight club? You imagine that? He's like, oh boy. Hey guys, I'll be right back. He's got to check on the fucking meatloaf. And he just turns around and he like, just slaps a bow on his head. That's literally all she is.

She just like flutters her eyelashes and wears a dress and a bow. Yeah, it's actually him. She's everything. I bet if you really, when Minnie, when there was that episode, When there was that episode of the Disney's and fucking... The Disney's? Like the awesons? When Davy...

Or when Donald... Fuck! When Donald and Minnie had an affair behind Mickey's back during the barbecue at Goofies, it was... It was actually fucking Mickey just with a phone on his head. He fooled the audience. He held up a mirror with his inflection... When Mickey goes up for like, you know...

When he's finally released from Disney as like, you can do what you want with him... Yeah. That's gonna be one of the first things that people do. Oh, I'm sure. There's gonna be so much porn. They're gonna take Mickey and they're gonna show them what for. Is that the thing right now?

Does Disney crack down on like porn parodies? Yeah. Big time. Really? They're all over that. Apparently. If you do any kind of porn, there's a lot of cop-

Oh, really? If you sell it, there's a huge copyright. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It used to be 50 years, I think, but now I think it's a hundred. A hundred years? If you use anything, too,

like, if you were to make a parody and you use, like, actual characters and it's like a parody, but it's using the characters, you can still get in trouble for that. So it has to be parodies of the characters. So if you're doing Captain America, you need to do like Captain United States or some shit.

Yeah, but most people don't really do that anyways. No. They're not really going to crack down on you for doing a parody. Nobody really wants to do a parody of fucking Disney stuff because it's just kind of, what are you going to make a parody of like Big Hero Six? Good luck with that. I bet a whole four people will see it and laugh. Alone.

With their fucking up DVD. Big Hero Sex. All right, here we go. I got a question for y'all. You guys ready? Yeah. Matt Cat Jan asks, Any cast member, what kind of character would you make in Dungeons and Dragons?

What character? Yeah. Would I make? Yeah. Me with a sword. Me with a sword and big sandals. I would make Chris with a sword as my character. I'd make a trappy rose.

I'd make him run around into an ogre's den and just bend over and open his butt on. I would not do that. And they'd just fucking rape your ass in a train. I would never go into an orgas sand to do that. A whole Lord of the Rings orc army would just rape your butt. I would make... It's not fair. I would make a trappy rogue slut.

That's what I would do. That's my Dungeons and Dragons character. Nice. So you'd be able to seduce people, but then you could also fucking them up. No, they would fuck me and I would get extra points. I would get criticals every time they fuck me. And I would win. I get to the Dungeon Master and two fucks.

To me, Dungeons & Dragons is you throw a dice down and it's like, you just got frozen. You lose three turns. Dude, I'm sure it's really fun though. You move your character, you buy boardwalk and park place. And then you put hotels on it. That's sorry. And then if you tip it over the pieces, you get a jenga and you lose. That's getting in trouble.

Yeah, Jenga. Getting in trouble! What are you kids doing? Getting in trouble! You want to that? Alright, so the answer is basically fuck Dungeons and Dragons. I mean... No, no.

When I was younger, I did play it. I would like to play Dungeons and Dragons, but I would play to the key of how my brain works. I'll just say this. This is a true fact. I'm not kidding. Yeah. Yeah. You guys think I'm joking. Hey, I can see it. But I'm being honest, okay?

Every time I made a character, without doubt, and I maybe made like 20 characters over the course of my life, they were always dwarves. Really? Yeah. That's because they're many, and they can fit through the holes whenever you get to, like, those cracks in the wall. That never happened with my character. You weren't playing the way I played. There's a crack in a wall, and you're a dwarf.

You're like, hold on. I got this. You just fucking start shoving your face into the crack in the wall? No. Roll the dice. Do you get through the whole? He's like, oh, by the way, I'm a lick with the wharf. Oh, okay, cool.

No, I mean. Corey, you'd suck at Dungeons & Dragon. I would be pretty bad. They'd be like, you could roll the dice, but you gotta roll a seven on this dice six. Wharves aren't, like, pinned, like, pinned in. Dwarves aren't just like, pin monsters that can fit through to anything.

With the crack. Do you think about Paper Mario, not Dungeons' Man. With the crack, I was thinking, like, small passageways. Yes, yes. Like, yes. Yeah, like, like, the crack, like, crack like Chris's butt. Like, yeah, like...

Like, the doggie door. They can go through a doggie door to open up the main door for the people. That would be very demeaning, though, for a dwarf. Well, they don't play a small person in a dungeon dragons game. I'd be an orc so I could stand in front of a green screen and go invisible. You'd be an ork so you could fuck my Chris' character in the butt.

I would not. Chris' character... I don't know anything about it. I don't know anything about it. With the or... With the or... With the or... Dragons and dragons.

I'm never played... I do want to play it, though. I would like to play it someday. Next up we got Colton Chavez You've ever played Othello? This is a hard game I hate you I love this question

Are you guys ready? Okay Can we expect to see any cartoons Or Sleepy Cabin skits anytime soon If so Estimated time of release Chris go We will never estimate a time of release For any project

I just love this It will always be way more than we actually say Estimated time of release We will never If so, estimated time of release. We will never be on time. But also, you can't expect shit, but we're all still working on our own stuff. And it's kind of...

We're all hitting a point in our careers where the internet is fucking us, so we have to get her foot in the door for other places. Yeah, I don't really see the focus of the internet for me currently. I mean, I use it as a means to socialize and still interact with people, but I don't see myself dedicating tons of hours into doing stuff for... Same. ...potential. I think this is...

This so far is the most consistent way for us to connect with... We're just talking. And this is like the easiest thing to do is it's nice to get together. You know, the more you think about it, and this isn't just a justification for us lowering the Patreon thing down to a dollar. I honestly believe that like, so like let's say people want to support Sleepy Kevin, right? So this is one of the things we do. But when you support Sleepy Kevin, you're supporting all the guys in it. And we all happen to be doing different things than when we started, right?

We're not making a lot of the cartoons that we were making for YouTube and whatnot. But instead, you're making cartoons for television or the series. I'm trying to pitch stuff as well. there's the video game that pretty much all of us are working on right now. Yeah. So I feel like to a degree the only difference, the only difference is that a lot of the stuff isn't on YouTube. That's literally the only difference. That's really what it's still making so many things like either it's music or games or videos but just not on YouTube.

You pretty much have to make your YouTube quota if you still want to stay relevant. I suppose. Outside of like a podcast. Because it's like, you know, if you don't release something for like, even then so, like the system is so fucked up. If I was to release something, I've completely been absolutely bled. There's so much blood that's gone that there's nothing to bleed anymore. It's fucking vapor. I'm just curious.

Like, we were talking about, like, with the algorithm, like, if you don't put out stuff or if people haven't seen your stuff in a while, like, you don't even show up, like, in the feed, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying, you get subscribed for me. So, like, you get bled out of people's subscriptions. So if you spent, like, two months on a video and then you released it, like... It would only get, like, 10,000 views, maybe. Like, no one even fucking see it. Yeah.

It's just a waste of time. Yeah, exactly. It's specifically cater to the Let's Play community and the vloggers. It can release stuff out regularly. That said, Chris and I were already talking about some stuff. I'm not putting out any release dates, but we are, we got the cameras, and we do want to start filming some stuff. So it's always something that's on our mind. It's always something we want to do.

When we hang out, that's like one of the first things we talk about is like, hey, we should do this or we really want to do that. So it is on our list, and currently it's on our schedule, so we'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes. Okay, this is a good one. It's from Jay Mack. guys won an Oscar Grammy Emmy Award what would your acceptance speech be? Corey what would you say you just won an Oscar for your new movie a big ugly boy for the true story of Corey and you walk up on that big ugly boy you're in the Chinese

theater four I want it you're in the Chinese theater I think that's where they do probably not anyways you're in there and you're in front of all the celebrities Angelina Jolie's looking up at you to her right is Marathon Luther King and to his right is a Jack Black so they're all they're all there all you're like yes yes yes so what is your speech what do you say I laugh and I'm like you gave me an award for big ugly boy it's big ugly boy four Corey because me boy for the boy the first three didn't really hit good graces with the oddie balance it's about time I got the recognition I deserved I'd be like it does be great honor to finally get the big ugly boy poor I still like you guys gave me a

fucking award Boy, more! It's a troubled story about a boy who's something kills himself. It's just realistic. Who would you think? I would thank my friends, my parents, the audience, God, Satan. Oh, okay.

Mother nature, in oxygen. Raw. Helped me breathe in those times of peril when my movie got deleted four times. With Big Ugly Boy, I got hit with bad critics. Okay, so that's my movie, Big Ugly Good movie. Wow, cool. What's yours?

I gave you your movie. What's my movie? For some reason, I kept saying Big Dick Rick. Oh, baby, it's no reason. So I walk up on stage. For your porno flick, Big Dick Crick. I'd say, wow, I can't believe my porn won an Emmy. This is a first in history. Thanks to the American Movie Association for helping me

Get past those mean critics. And that, you know, you're not allowed to win porn awards at the Emmys. Thanks for helping me. Thanks for all those boys jacked off the movie. Big ugly boy, big dick, Rick. Okay, Mick. The Lion, the Witch, and the Chinaman. Just like a direct, the fucking B movie of the original.

You wanted at a Chinese award ceremony. The Tiger, the Wizard. You won it at a Chinese awards ceremony. So they're like, hi, ha, ha, ha, tit. Corey, am I- I'm being realistic. Is this a Chinese award ceremony? Yours is.

It's still in America, but they're still trying to be nice. We're in the fucking, you guys are all in the fucking award hall. They put me over with like the local, like, fucking Chinese takeout places, cleared out some of the tables, there's some fold-out chairs. Sitting in front of like a, like, a fucking, like, black market blu-ray machine. What's your speech? You got to do it in Chinese. Yeah, go on.

Do it in Chinese. You have to. You have to. Thank you. Thank you. Give me this. And that means, wow, this is pretty cool. You know, but is...

Ponyo? Yes. I'm receiving a word from Pano. Ponyl by a movie. You're all my own Pongio, Pongio in the sea. And then I just dance off the stage. And everybody would throw fucking fried rice in the air.

It's scolding fucking... Holding fucking pieces of race. That I'd eat my, I'd break my award open and there's a big fucking fortune cookie in it. It says learn Chinese. The end. Wow. We all won an Emmy. Cool. Except I didn't. You guys won

Emmys and then fucking booty me over to the fucking... You cheated. Mick is fine. It was all paid for. It's still like, I don't know. I didn't lose anything. You were the lion and the China man. You stole a popular movie book. Yeah, you're a plagiarism. You're plagiarism. Look, Pongio is not Pongue.

Okay, learn Asian Okay, oh this is a good one From Freakia Jeebus if you were a serial killer What song would you whistle while you murdered your victims? Ooh, that's a great one right? That's a good one right? That's a good one The three's company theme song It's so yeah, I mean it's so fast-paced and cheery that like it works yeah that it does work. It's more terrifying because it's so like Do-da-D-D-D-D-d-d when I used to hear that theme song I'd be like this is perfect

for a killer to whistle. It's like, come and knock on my door. That is perfect. Yeah. Come and knock on my door, kick it down and fucking grab me by my hair and drag me into the bathroom. It's like that scary's my throat to. It's got like that kind of tiny tim vibe where it's really cheery but really creepy. Yeah. What about you make? Pondon. Pondi. That would work too, though. I can't whistle very well.

Pretty much anything cheery that would like make me uncomfortable. Yeah, because that's still got, it's not as like hectic. Okay. if you knew what they were whistling, like, as they were about to kill you, you'd be like, well, no! So what do you think would be, like, the most unsuited murder whistling theme? Unsuited, like, it wouldn't be good one? Yeah, horrible choice. Um...

Let the body set the floor. And how ironic is that? I was gonna say, like, happy birthday, but I actually think that would work. That would work, too. Yeah, that would work really well. Or, okay, how about, like, uh... Yeah. That just doesn't work.

It wouldn't. I'd be like, ew. Just fucking kill me, dude. What is that? Lord of the Rings. Concerning Haute. That's what I was trying to think of. It's just like,

It's like, It's like something else. Or like, you know the Final Fantasy 7 battle theme? It's like what a autistic person? The battleman. Though if they did- Oh, perfect. If they did the fanfare, that might work.

The perfect horrible choice for murdering a victim would be Oh my god is this the angry video nerd? I feel like if I was about to get killed to that I'd be like ah ha ha ha oh I kind of like bob my head to it like oh I know that one and then I'd be dead yeah yeah I think that's perfectly horrible yeah but I like that song though yeah I think it's really catchy yeah okay that was a great question thank you Frank could do this any more creative questions like that was good oven shabben asks name a new sex position after each one of the Sleepy Cabin crew and describe it. Ah.

Um, okay, uh, the rice pirate. No. Okay, so it has to involve a pirate and rice. The stinky... Wait, I thought it just had to be based on who we were, not our names. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah. Just based on who we are as people.

Okay. I'm gonna do the stinky vinky. That's mix. He farts all the time. Yeah, that would be mine. The shanky vinky. Corey's sexual position would be the fucking red trombone. That's pretty good.

It's just like You just blow on Corey's dick until your face turns purple. Yeah. That sounds like a horrible prolapse position. Yeah. By the way, for people who don't get it,

Corey has a red trombone. Yeah. In my pants. Thanks for noticing. No. No. It's your pee bone. Chris's would be...

It better be good, Mick. I just call it the tater sack. God. This word takes a potato and just jumps up. No! Guys are bullies. Call it the oney or something.

It'd be the sleeping cedar. The sleeping cedar? The sleeping cedar. What's that? I don't know. Probably you like, fuck two bed cushions or something. I didn't think of the semantics. What does that do with me as a person? We even answered this properly.

What does the stinky vinky have to do with anything? Who got the sticky vicky? You don't get to make of your own one, okay? You get the... Corrie, yours would be the fucking... The cleftone retard baby. No! Yours would be like the cumbersome Corey where you...

You sit on your back and you expect them to do all the work. Like, how? Oh! Yeah. Were any of you guys ever fans of Homestar Runner? Asked Philip Gay Star. Is that really their name? I don't know.

I'm dyslexic. I think it says Gazert, but I said Gay Star. If so, do you still find it amazing? Because I do, too. My only running. Somebody explained to me Homestar Runner. I don't know either. There's some cartoon on the internet.

You don't want to know something? Is that the one with the Luched-O-Runer? Mascide? Yeah. You want to know the honest truth? What is that from? Was that from the 90s? Because I wasn't... It was ancient. Yeah, everybody... It's so, like, widely respected. Everybody loves it, but... I did. I absolutely

completely missed Homestar Runner. Every time I see Homestar Runner, I think... I think it looks fucking stupid, but that... Just like there was that thing on Newgrounds with that rat cat thing. Yeah, remember, there's that... There's that lesbian girl or whatever. She's like... She gets, like, skinny and fat... Foe the squirrel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I feel

like I missed that, too. That's been... I caught the edge of Fummey this squirrel like later on like when it was at it's sort of peak Yeah, but I never saw Homestar Runner I just remember people always linking stuff and being like it's really funny and then I watched it on What it is is because I used to like guitar hero a lot and then one of his songs is in it really Yeah, Traggdor you never see for trogdor? I think it's because the characters were like unique and original Like it's like it's like it's really like I've seen one or two years ago. No, it's just this really charming cartoon Because it feels like I think I don't swim kind of like thing And it does. I can't stand Homestar's voice though, and I think that's a joke.

Oh, it's that mix. It's like, hey, man. No, no, no. Homestar is like, he's eating his mouth. Oh, yeah, that, yeah. He's eating his tongue. He's like, I'm going to talk. Oh, no. That's my opinion about Homestead.

Cool. You got me, read some questions. Wingman, 2699 asks. Oh, look on life. Oh, man, I'm going to kill myself. What? The end is nigh. What is the outlook mean?

What's kind of like what you imagine the end of, the, the, the, conclusion that you give to life. What's your outlook? What do you perceive the future? Yeah. For me, I want to go out with a bang. I think most people want to do that, but even if, like, you know, death is inevitable, I'd still really like to have something to my name that I could look back on for generations and like, you know how like even even if Grant Kirkcote was to like keel over. He still has like the bandicozooie soundtrack and all the rare stuff he's done in Bandukazui like it was like a big everyone will always remember that because they had such a huge impact on people and I'd like that. They had that much of an impact that could last for like years and shit. That's a really nice waste. That's personally what I think life is. Life is a goal you have to infinitely reach and it's like, you know, they throw a bunch of curveballs. When I heard that question, that wasn't what I was thinking at all, though.

I thought he was more so asking, like, what do you think of life so far? Is that what he was saying? So what's your outlook on life? I hate it. It's all right. You said you in a long answer. Yeah, I do. Okay, this is my long answer, right?

When I was in school from the age of about 12 through 18, all I'm. wanted was to get out of school and do animation, right? And all the way through school, I was like, this is so fucking pointless. All I want to do is make stuff. And now that I'm at the point where I'm just making stuff, I'm just like, I'm not, you know, content yet. Yeah. I need to figure out what I really want to do in the long term because it looks like for now, animation does not actually make me happy. It's not rewarding to me. And it's just, it's one of those things that's always going to be like people will take advantage of you and not appreciate it. And it's cool as a hobby. I love it as a hobby, right? But now that's my job and all this pressure. It's like, I don't want to do this as a job anymore. So I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. Yeah, this is one other thing is that when you're in school and you're like, I want to get out. You don't realize how fucking hired the real world is. Yeah.

I'm figuring this out, like, every week, every fucking week there's something new that I have to figure out that I did not know I'd have to do. Like fucking washing machine breaks. You're like, what the fuck do I do now? I'll call the guy in the bag. Oh, it's another $200 gone. It's like, cool. So every fucking week, something goes wrong and you will have to have a shit. ton of money saved. Reality hits you

like a brick. It's you fucking leave mommy and daddy's crib. Yeah, you get a wake a call. There is so, so much shit you got to do when you leave. That's something I wanted to talk about, though. I had discussion with someone on the sub right. I was talking about high school, where it's like people say high school, some of the best years of their life. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope!

I'm gonna go into that, but it's like, for me this is what I remember from high school. I remember immediately getting out of high school, they told me to go to college. And then they were like, you need to go to college to decide what you want to do in life. But when I was in high school, they're like, you need to go high school, decide what you want to do in life. So it's like, where's the off switch? Where do you decide what you want to do in life? And it's like,

when I see high school, a guy brought up some points where it teaches you basic, like social skills, but I personally think you should have been learning these kinds of social schools in your grade school. Like, if you can't fucking share. High school taught me how to hide smoking and cheat on tests. That's another thing. That's another thing. Like, people... Both important lessons. No, no, no. Yeah. Like, what's funny to me is for me in high school, it was like the breaking point. Like, when you were not, when you were in, middle school, you didn't get into drugs, your friends were getting into all this shit.

When you get into high school, it's that breaking point where you either get to a point where you just want to drop out or you finish it, but you don't even care and you don't retain any of that knowledge. And that's what it's like for a lot of people. Like, they're just getting through high school. They're just getting by. They're cheating. They're doing whatever the fuck they can to get that passing grade, and then they're done.

They're not going to retain any knowledge and they're just going to know that, oh, I have a golden ticket for when I go to, like, a job that I may get picked for it. I think something everyone should do is take a year out after high school. Oh, definitely. everyone rushes into college and then most people I know drop out and then they're in debt. Yeah. Most people I know get a degree that they don't even fucking want. By the time they get their degree, they don't even want a job in the thing that they studied. What a waste of four years and however much debt that they're going to have to work themselves out. Luckily in Ireland, you don't get debt for college at all. Yeah. But it's like with high school, it's like, oh, you know, people consider you stupid if you don't graduate high school. You could retain way more knowledge after high school if you really actively went out of it. All high school did was just,

give you a bunch of bullshit extracurricules you didn't have to do. Usually if you're like super talented at something, you'll find a job with it. People aren't going to turn you away because you didn't get your degree. If they can see that you can make them a lot of money, they're going to hire you. Yeah, I wanted to do art. And I was doing like science and social studies and all this shit. And it's like, I clearly didn't want to be like a social studies teacher or a science teacher. So, you know, I didn't want to do that.

When I was doing high school, I wasn't like, you know, I want to be a teacher. I want to be actively going after that. I was just like, oh, God, I have fucking science. I have to finish and get an A. so I can just have a degree. And to me, it's like when people say like, oh, like you need a high school diploma, you don't really, because honestly,

like what it comes down to is yes, it's probably good to like, but you're not gonna go into a job and be like, got your high school diploma, where can I sign? Like, when can I get started? I think what's kind of hard though is that that frame of mind, that kind of thinking comes from a generation before the internet

was as popular as it was. And I think that that kind of thinking just kind of got passed down the line. So that's what they would teach you. then that's just what you expect. The thing is though, I honestly believe that before the internet became as easily accessible as it is, before it became so easy for anyone just to do like a square space or a YouTube where you can post your content or a SoundCloud where you can post your content. Yeah. I mean, it isn't just for the creatives. There's plenty of ways of showing your work now

and what you do. But I think back in the day, they had to have these very, like, by the numbers, ways of basically sifting through the cattle. because they didn't have all this access. That's what high school is. You say like, oh, why don't they just, they're not going to hire you, you know, just because of your degree. Like, they'll look at your work. But the thing is, is that back then, they needed to sift through thousands of applications.

Well, the first thing they're going to do, this is before they could just go online and look at your shit. You know, they'd have to go. They'd just look at the schools you go to. Yeah. So for them back then, I kind of get it. I kind of understand why. But now, there's no excuse.

Now there's just so many ways of showcasing what you do. easily that yeah it doesn't matter what fucking school you go to it doesn't yeah what you bring to the table is what really matter like people are saying like oh the best years of my life is like high school and it's like what do you remember from high school you may remember a few cool teachers maybe you may remember a few like fucking people you fucked or had a girlfriend I fucked a lot you may remember that I drink a lot but what you don't remember is you don't remember those fun math problems and any of that shit so it's like you don't remember this stuff because you only remember the good times you know what I think

Equivalence of remembering a party that you had got really drunk and threw up all over yourself. I think the people, I think the people who say that are the people in high school who are the top of the popularity chain. Oh, and then they come out. And they're nothing and they waste all their time doing shit. But even then so, I'm not ready for the real world. All you remember though is socializing with your friends and like drinking and being in a hospital. Yeah, but that's better for a lot of people than whatever miserable life they have now where they're fucking dealing with a washing machine every week and paying this bill and dealing with this medical thing and dealing with that debt or whatever. So what it comes to, in my opinion, is this like, high school is one of those things where, that's why I said.

To me, high school was a make or break it or you just break it. There's no middle ground. You either make it through it or you just quit. How you break it, Corey. You break high school, you quit. Break it. Oh, you just quit. It's just a term.

I always consider high school and make it or break it. Luckily, weed wasn't popular when I was in high school, so I was able to get through high school, but I guarantee if weed, if it had been two or three more years whenever, like, weed started getting really popular. Oh, it's been popular. But it depends on the area. Sometimes it's- No, in our area, it's criminalized. So people can't smoke weed.

So nobody smoked weed until, like, everyone was finished with high school, and then everyone started smoking weed. But during that time, we were all just doing high school. And it's different for everybody, but really what it comes down to

is you're only going to remember the socializing experience that you had in high school. You're not going to remember the fucking, you're not going to remember your math problems. You're not going to show off your work, too. You're not going to be like, look, I got an A-plus on my English exam.

They're going to be like, cool, I don't care. As far as my outlook on life, I have a very positive. one at least. I love life despite the shittiness that's happened. I feel very lucky, very fortunate to have the friends and the opportunities that I've had. I feel like I've done a lot more of the things that I've wanted to do than a lot of people may in their life. If I found out I got a terrible disease tomorrow, I don't think I could be very hangary. I mean, I'm young. I'd be, sad. I'd be obviously upset. I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do because there's

still a lot I want to do, but I do feel like I can't. really complain. When you say all that, I feel really bad because that's how I should feel, but I just don't. Well, you've grown with it your whole life. I think when you get older, it's easier to appreciate those things. It's like what me and you were saying earlier, it's like when we were walking into the, like, we're recording this at Newgrounds right now. We were talking about the idea that like, here we are at Newgrounds recording a podcast. Yeah. Just saying those words, right? Like it's not a big deal to us because we do it like all the time. Yeah. Like we, you know, you basically live here. Yeah. When, like, Corey, when me and you were like, 16, can you imagine saying that to yourself and being like, no.

I couldn't imagine it would be in a room with you. Yeah. And it's not like there's like fucking big bitched hose and shit bouncing around and like fucking, you know, champagne pouring out of the fridge. It's, you know, it's what it is. Yeah. But it's still not a life that I would have ever have expected. No. And it's a really cool one, you know?

It's hard work and it, you know, it drives you crazy at times, but... It's interesting of things, like, turn into this way. Yeah. Can I say something though? Because I really like this question. Do it. Cancer asks, could you use a movie title to describe the last shit you took? I like that idea. Jackie Brown? Yeah, but wait, wait, but he's checked off. No, but is the title supposed to be reminiscent of like the actual, like the actual movie? You know what I mean? I just took a rumble in the Bronx. I said that with Lexi last night. See, I would actually try to equate the actual plot of the movie to the plot of my shit.

It's impossible. No, today's shit that I took. He said movie. title. So I took a fucking rubble in the Bronx. I like that. I like that. What did you do? Okay, so think of a movie that fits this description. Yeah. I had a wicked Jack and Jewel. It was highly, there was a lot of hype. There was a lot of anticipation.

I was so excited. I sat down. A little bit came out, then all of a sudden I got a big boost. It was great. But then I was kind of expecting something to happen at the end. And then I was just kind of pinching off little nuggets, little like fruity pebble. And the smell of your shit kept reminding you of a prior shit that you had that you really enjoyed.

I really would have enjoyed, yeah. So what movie does that? It was Star Wars. Yeah, actually, you said it in a game. That are the Martian. No, no, no, the Martian actually has at least a climax. I'm going to explain my shit with the plot of a movie. Okay.

So I was taking a shit. And the camera pans through the toilet. And there's like this machine that's like creating breakfast. And then it slops down. And then this little shit came out of my ass. It came into the view. It's like... This is the beginning of back to the future.

I was thinking... I was thinking it was Pee Herman. Do you remember that in back of the future? Yeah. When the machine drops. What's what I'm talking about? I was thinking it was Peewee Herman's big adventure. A lot of movies start with that machine and makes breakfast.

Ben Myers asks, how do you guys deal with stress? What are things that you use as a get away from life? I like taking baths. I like sitting in my beanbag and pondering. Do you really? Yeah. What do you ponder?

I don't know. You're a liar. You just sit on your fucking iPhone and play little fake songs on your phone. It's not a lie. You just stare at the ceiling and ponder? Sometimes. Really? That's what I like to do. That's very introspectively. It's why you have bats too.

When I relax, I like to sit, lay comfortably in an area, and place my little iPad up on my stomach and watch shows on my stomach. You know what? I'm a very introverted person. I like being around people, but I don't like talking to people all the time. Introverted. Is that when your penis goes inside your body? Nothing's about a penis. Oh.

It's when, okay, so there's introverts and extroverts. Extroverts. get energy from people talking to them and being around them. Introverts get their energy sucked out of them by other people. So let's say if I'm at a party, right? I'll walk in the door and instantly I'll be getting tired from all the fucking commotion. And then after an hour, I'll want to leave because I'm like,

oh, oh, so tired. Chris, I'm the exact same way. Yeah, well, that's introverts and extroverts. You know, I'm a complete introvert. I like being around people occasionally, but most of the time I like, I like just sitting in a corner and watching TV or something. It depends on the group.

If there's like maybe like two or three people I can manage, but if there's like more than fucking like 10, I'm gone. Yeah, me too. I don't want to be there. Then what is Goku? He's a... Goku's a hero for all mankind. Because clearly he gets energy from everybody. I am, uh, I don't know what, I mean, I like to play, I like to stream. Like, I'll play Bloodborder Dark Souls, which a lot of people are like, why are you doing this to relax?

But I actually find it very relaxing. He's not playing games. And I also like to do it on stream. I like to have like a group of people. That's a really good point. I don't know if being an introvert or an extrovert would, like, what's streaming it affect you in either way. Right. Because I actually personally feel that I get a lot of my energy sucked out of me while I'm streaming, so I usually only do for an hour or so. Well, that could also

be part of the introvert then. Yeah, probably. But see, that's weird because Stamper, I don't know if he's an introvert or an extrovert because... I think he's an extrovert because he likes people. He does, but sometimes he obviously likes to be left alone. Yeah. But then he'll like, yeah, but sometimes he'll like, yeah, but sometimes he'll like, yeah, but sometimes he'll, like, yeah, I also think everything is never black and white. Yeah. Like, I'm just saying for him, I feel he's extremes. Like, sometimes he's like, I'm not talking to people for week. And then other times he's like, you know, like, hey, he's the host of the house and or he'll stream for like eight hours and talk to everybody, you know, like. Yeah, I don't think

he's black or white. I think he's like his own dude. Yeah. But as for me and Corey, like, we're introverts to the extreme. I'm the exact same as you, Chris. I'm pretty sure, like, I don't like being around a lot of people unless I'm drinking. Yeah. And then I'll try and drink myself even if I'm drinking though. Like after an hour, I'll be like, oh, I want to go back into my room. Me too. But I'll get as drunk as possible so I get tired. And then everything, like, if I'm still awake somehow. And it's weird. Because sometimes I'll still manage to stay awake even when I'm drunk. Yeah.

And I'll work through my drinking. That's not the same, though, that I'm not friendly or whatever. Like, I do like being around people. You don't cower away from people when they try to shake your hand? I don't know. It's just something that, uh... No, like, I'm outgoing. I'll shake people's hands and I'll, like, I'll hug people and be cool and stuff.

But after, like, an hour or two, I'll just be, like, so out of energy. I'll just have to leave. Jeff's the same way. He doesn't like being around people for too long. He has to have his alone time. Yeah. No, I love alone time. I love alone time.

That's why I kind of like just laying down and like watching something by myself. Yeah. Then I fall asleep. Then I wake up from a power nap and I'm ready to work again. Okay, Father O'Krifah? Okay, well, he asks, How does each member of the podcast approach learning something new when they're in a mood that essentially works against their will to do so?

How do you guys push to learn even when you're in the midst of a mental block or emotional fun? Sorry, say that whole thing one more time from the beginning. Okay, in baby retard mode for Mick. Yes, please. It's if, um, how do you, how do you, how do you, you push yourself to learn something when you're not feeling like learning something. Okay. But basically, I think that doesn't make sense because...

Well, I don't want to learn something if I don't want to... Yeah, you don't learn something if you don't want to learn something. But, like, I don't... I think human nature is wanting to learn something that you're interested in. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you this. I have learned plenty of things when I wouldn't necessarily want to, and that's when I have a deadline. Yeah, but he's asking, like, how do you learn something when you don't want to learn,

or like, when you're in a, you know, a mental block, but I don't know. I always feel like if I want to learn something, I want to learn something. Yeah. Usually. Right. If you have a mental block, then I feel like you don't learn. Yeah. Like you could sit there and stare at a tutorial for 18 hours on repeat, but if you're not in the mind frame to learn, it's just going to pass right through the years.

Maybe you don't want to do it at all. Right. Maybe you should learn something you do want to learn. That's a good suggestion. Maybe it's a bad suggestion if he needs to learn. Maybe. But I have to. The only way you'll want to learn something is if you check.

challenge yourself, that's the only way. Yeah, it's like, for instance, like anatomy. Like, if you want to learn how to draw people correctly, then you're going to need to learn anatomy. You're going to learn it. You're going to learn it. You're going to learn it. You're going to learn it. You're going to learn it. You're going to learn it is to just sit down and do it over and over and over until it's in your brain. Stop complaining and grow pair. Everything. Okay, so I guess my... So you can run. My advice is if you don't want to learn it, then just, write it down or draw it over and over and over and over until it's your brain or learn something you do want to learn find alternative ways to do it that makes you want to do it which sounds insane doesn't really sound like it's plausible if i want to learn chinese i'm not just gonna or if i want to learn japanese i'm not just gonna watch animas all day and try to go pause it and like they say it where and i'd be like ha what i wati o tcini aafiiii that's not a fucking thing yes it is it's chinese no what what shut off what hafi wafi tozi bo po pooh po oh my god First of all, that...

That's Japanese. Whoop, whoop, boop, whoop, whoop. Nick Shelman asks, Yes! An alien invasion is happening tomorrow and you have no time to prepare for the onsla. What's your game plan? Well, I know the aliens are coming tomorrow. You've got no time to plan, but what are you going to do right now?

The aliens... I know the aliens are coming tomorrow. Yeah, but what are you going to do? The same thing I'm doing now. You've only got like a few hours. What the fuck are the aliens gonna do? You're gonna come down and shove their huge 10-foot fingers up your ass. Does he say that? No, that's what I say. They're gonna come down and like, you know, enslave you or kill you.

So this is the arc we have to get through. Yeah. They're gonna come in and finger fuck everybody with their 12 foot fingers. You don't know that. They do know that. This is the arc. Pictures from NASA clearly show aliens sitting in doing this floating chairs and with big long 12 foot fingers. Yeah, there's like pictures like snapshots of the great things doing this and doing this. They got shots into the spaceship window of them like sticking their big fingers through like a like a like a, oh, Oh, we're going to do it. They're pointing at your face and they're going, yeah, oh, we're going to get you. They're not saying, yeah, they're going,

Well, what are you going to do? They're coming down. They're coming down. You've got 12 hours. Let's see you got 12 hours, Corey. What do you do? I'm going to be animating suddenly, I fall out of my seat. No, you've got 12 hours before it comes down.

He just waited 12 hours. He just waited for 12 hours. I finished up what I was doing. I sat down and fell asleep. Okay, well, you're dead. That's the end of your story. of your story. They're gonna, they're not gonna kill me. Yes, they are. Now how, here's the thing. They come in. They're like, they're like two fingers. I put my hand on the, because they're small and I hold them back. They're not small. They're actually like 12 feet tall.

They're twice the size of a human. Oh, they have 12 feet fingers. Yeah, they're 12 feet tall and 12 feet fingers. Corey, this is what they do. They shove one finger up your asshole and if you're a girl, they shove another finger up your pussy. And then they like, they bend their fingers inwards and crush you from the inside. Got it. So there's two, there's two, you Okay, so first of all, the main plan A is, first of all, do we all know that it's happening? Does the world know? The entire world knows. Shit. So if I go to like a gun store. All gone.

Okay. Okay, um... Okay, let's improvise. Okay. I'll be the story master and you gotta tell me what you're doing and I'll change the situation. So we're basically playing Dungeons and Dragons with no dice. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. So aliens are coming down at 12 hours. Uh, citizens of the earth, you must prepare. Bye. Alright, so the very first thing I would do is, um, I would go to, um, I would go to to, god damn, like if I went to a police station, roads are blocked off, all the cars are trapped in the down. I use the only weapon I know how to use. I'd play a trombone really loud in their ears. Dead. Shot by the army. And if I go, if I go to the store, if I go to the store, is all the food gone to? Most of it. There's only like expired milk love. Only expired

milk rats. Fuck. And an expired sausage. I go to a local church. Okay. Because everyone's abandoned God by now because they all realize there's aliens, so therefore there's clearly no God. Right. So I would go into the church, I go into the basement and they always have food. for like donations and stuff, maybe. The bumps have beat you. Shit. They already got there. I got beat by bombs.

Um... And while you leave, you get molested by a bum in the way out. Shit! But now you're back on the street and you're fine. Do not pass go. You not collect $200. The hours are going down. The hours are counting down.

Shit, how many hours I got left? 10. 10, yeah. Okay, so I've gone to the gun store. I've gone to the grocery store. I've gone to the police station. I've gone to the church. Why would you go to the police station?

Like, police help the aliens is... No! I was hoping... The aliens is coming police! No! My hope was that they would have abandoned the police station. No! They're like, they're actually shooting people trying to get in to get the guns. Shit!

Okay. Uh, I go to a hardware... Fuck, you're gonna tell... But is there any place I can go that's not... I'm the story master. You gotta play your game and see what I say. Chris, I spend... Cori, you're already dead.

Shot by the army for playing your trombone too loud. What army? The American army? No, doing the alien... They're like, he's cause disturbance, kill him. They would never do that. Okay, fine. I was fighting...

Okay. You escape the bullets. You're fine, okay. No, I, hold on. So I have like 14 hours and the aliens are to come. You got 10 hours. Okay, well I spend a good chunk of my hours writing a sign with rocks up in the top of the new grounds building saying no one lives here to throw them off. The aliens can't read it because they don't speak English. Exactly, so I throw them off.

So that they come in and kill you. No, no one's here. He's the story master. You're dead. Okay, so what you're saying is you say no one's here and you leave because there's no one there. Yeah. Okay, well that was pointless court. You wasted another two hours of your time.

Okay, well, then I get hungry. Yeah. So I go to Wawa's. What was, this is like completely empty. Completely fucking obliterated. All you find is Linda dead on her back. People stormed her. Okay, well, I go to the other wall was, not the one with Linda. Okay.

Also empty. I grab a backpack. Yeah. I grab all the food that I can that is in this office right now. Okay. So I grab all of that shit. But I'm not gonna stick around here. I'm not gonna stick around in these buildings.

You know what they're gonna do? They're gonna search all the buildings. Right. So I get in my car and I park about a mile or two out from, uh, there's a, There's a quarry up on 309. And at this point, the alien is set off the EMP that wipes electricity from the world. Fine, great. Now you're stuck in a quarry.

Great, that's exactly the point though. So before I left though, I grab some blankets and stuff that were down here too. Yeah. So now I'm deep in a quarry hole. What alien's gonna be digging around in a quarry? It's just fucking rocks, right? So I'm down there. Where was I?

You're outside of New Grand's office looking up into the sky like an idiot. You're like, Mick, why did you... Why did you leave me outside? Why did you leave me outside? Let me in. I'll be like, no. There'll leave a few hours left? You've got, you know, eight hours left. I probably just go back inside and draw until my demise. Okay, fine.

But here, let off the EMP. All the electricity's out. You're drawing on a blank. I just lay down and accept my fate. Because I don't know if I'd be able to do much. Okay. I'm just fuck. You want to spend your last minutes looking at your phone and then you realize your phone's dead too. No, I'm just gonna lay down.

It's just face down on the ground. You can't watch long plays on YouTube anymore. What? Yeah, you're fucked. I can't watch walk-throughs with long plays. He's done. So I'm in the quarry with whatever food I got I blow my fucking brains out

I've got I've got some blankets and some pillows And I basically wait it out While I'm down there and just hope that they don't Fucking come down I cover myself in rocks Little did you know that there's a quarry monster that lives in the corner It's winter dude It's been waiting for you the whole time That's why rocks are hot

So I got hot I cover myself with lots of rocks What about the quarry mom There's no quarry monster I kill the quarry monster I slit open it belly with my teeth and I sleep in it and I eat it and survive. No.

So I basically, I don't know how many days of food, maybe like four days of food possibly if I rationed it. Water-wise, I, man, I mean, I can try to drink the snow or something. Three people show up. There's only room for one of them. Jim Carrey. Wait, you're telling me three people showed up. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, four months of food now.

Three people show up. All those motherfuckers. Listen, three people show up. Jim Carrey, Tom Hanks, and Jack Alright, I marry Jack Black, I eat Jim Carrey, and I kill the other... Fuck Tom Hakes. Mick, your quarry, your little quarry charade is not gonna cut it because the aliens have sent out drones with thermal vision and they see you and they use their fucking... It's cool, man.

They used their claw, comes down and picks you up. Perfect. Got me? Great. Plan B. Okay. I had this in my back pocket the whole time. See, while I was running around looking for stuff, I grabbed the super glue from the basement and I super glue from the basement and I super glue My butt hole shut.

Why, it doesn't matter because they- They can't penetrate me and crush me from the inside if they can't get their fingers on my butt hole. Your mouth is still open. My fucking- Fucking, feel my mouth is super-cloth. Okay, Mick, this is your last chance, okay? You're aboard the alien ship, you're looking down on Earth is burning. It's a big ball of fire.

Oh my god. Everyone's dead? Everyone's brown bread, okay? So you're on their autopsy table, right? What, I'm dead already? No, you're not. Oh, okay. I'm about to be, though.

You're about to be fingered in the mouth and crush from the inside for science. Yes. But the alien drops his ball bearing and it rolls out and he fumbles out. Yeah. Now is your chance. What do you do? I look around for something to grab. Yeah. There is a huge, the giant scissors. The huge, like the ones they open, like, they cut the ribbon for the, the fucking museum.

Bigger than that. It's sharper than that. Oh my god, I grab it. I don't think you know what Dungeons and Dragons is. Can I pick it up? With your toes. All right. Alright, well, whatever I can grab it with.

So he's fumbled around. Yeah, the aliens outside the room looking for his ball bearings. Now, why do I have to use my toes? Is it, what was it? Because you're like, your hands are like, you know, tied down with like easily-cuttable room. All right, all right. So I take, I take my foot and I funnel it right through.

Like, I fucked the hole with my foot, and I try to flip it. Okay, but you cut your dick up, but now what? Ah! Yeah. Alright, well, I am still alive. Okay. All right, so I guess it's on my chest.

Okay, the aliens running back into the roof. Oh shit. I fucking heaf my pelvis back and forth and fling my blood all over the fucking room. Yeah? I don't know. Okay, you slipped on it, you're good. Okay, now use the scissors to get out of there. Cissues. They're back, they're fucking sitting on my chest with my feet stuck in them and I've got my dick cut off and I'm hopefully not bleeding to it.

I guess I can try to widge it over to my hands. Okay, an alien with big pigtails comes in. It's the little girl alien and it's like, I want to free you. Yes. I love humans. Yes! So, okay, so she lets you out and she staples up your dick hole.

The dick couldn't be safe, but now you're not bleeding to death. She's like... I'm going to send you back to Earth. Okay, and then... Hold on before we go though, I do grab my dick. I grab the severed Venus. I know by now it's like the shriveled little like dead slug, but... It's like black and shrevelled up now, but okay, if you want...

Okay, but now... I might need a snack on the way back to Earth. This is the final objective. Okay. Um, you gotta sneak past the two mom and dad aliens. They're watching the game. Alright, now wait, all I have to do is sneak past them. The little girl aliens like, like, gawk, gawk, greek. So there's like a ship, like, right in front of, in between them.

There's like a daddy in reading newspaper in the alien kitchen and the mom's washing dishes. Okay. They're watching... And there's a dog. Yeah, there's a little dog alien running there. Fuck! They're watching HGTV. All right, I lean over it and I say...

They're watching HGTV, right? Home and Garden now I call it. I say, little, little alien girl. Little alien girl, thank you for saving me. saving me. You saved my life. I lean over. I give her a small kiss on the forehead. She fingers your ass. It kills me. No, she doesn't kill you.

Okay. It's a friendly. It's like an alien bite, you know, a little nibble. I have finger asshole prostate come. Then I pick her up by her head and I fucking fling her across the room into the wall. She's like betrayal. No, no, no. But she clearly gets the attention of everybody in the room. Daddy alien throws his beard out.

Yeah. And they're looking at her right now. So while they're all distracted by their daughter getting thrown in the fucking wall. I run the opposite direction. I run towards the ship. Okay, I mean the escape pod. Yes, the escape pod. Okay, but I'm in the escape pod. You're in the escape pod. The aliens are smacking on the door going, okay? I'm looking around. There's all alien fucking technology. I don't know what to fucking do. Okay, this is the last thing you gotta do you. I'm in the pot. I'm so close. No, you're in the engine. Wait, but where am I even gonna go? I can't go back to Earth or it's on fucking fire. There's a huge fire extinguisher on the bottom of the pod. So you're gonna Okay. Gotta use that first. Alright, so you- I push the button? I don't fucking know how to drive this thing. Okay, it a jet- okay You push the wrong button. You get sucked into outer space. No. But you're falling towards Earth. Oh, okay Luckily, there's a huge eagle flying right underneath you You land on it and catch it on fire. And then you look up behind you and the the spaceship explodes. Yes! So you beat it. Yes

You defeated the aliens. I defeated the aliens, but I still didn't extinguish Earth's flames. I'm just flying over a burning earth from the giant-e bleeding to death out of my dick hole waiting for death. Just because the arts on fire does me, they still can't rain. So it rains, the fire is gone. Yeah. You land on... I land on earth. How many people are alive?

Like you and the eagle. All right. Well, Corey's alive too. He survived. No, he didn't. No, I'm still working. You find Corey like a wall fall on him and kept up a safe. All right.

Yeah, I lift the tail up and I'm like... All right, I come up to Corey. I find Corey. I'm like, oh my guy. I'm like, I'm so glad you're alive. But it turns there that he was the little girl alien in the sky. I pull off the Corey mask. He's me all life. He's like, I've fived it here all along.

I'd be like, yo, dude, I got this eagle here. We can kill it and we can eat it. And I wait for Corey because like, yeah, that's a great idea. And then what I'll do is we'll both approach the eagle. And as we do that, as I go in to stab the eagle, I actually turn around and stab Corey. And I kill Corey because I'm going to eat Corey because an eagle is so much more helpful because I can fly that around. But the little girl. Corey's the little girl.

I know. You already served the purpose. She saved you. You served your purpose. You saved my life. I don't need you anymore. Okay, the end. Mick is a murdering asshole.

Wait, no dick. I'm a dickless murdering asshole. That rides an eagle. Nick, Killed the alien. Yes. And, uh, what's that one poison? Rison?

It's a type of poison. Arsenic. No, it's a type of poison. Anthrax? No, it's a poison that when you inhale it, you like cause you to form with the mouth. Most poison. Cyanides. You stab her and cyanide starts leaking from her body and the...

Toxins kill you. So then there's just a lone eagle on a, on earth. The curtains close and big dick Rick. Directed by curses. Everybody claps. Angelina Jolie walks up, gives you a peck on both your cheeks, hands you the award. Leonardo's wiping tears from his eyes. Big Dick Rick!

Big Dick Rick! I'm the king of the world! Wow, I can't believe my porn won an heavy. This is a first of history. Thanks to the American Movie Association. for help me get past those mean critics. And that, you know, you're not left to win porn awards at the Emmys.