SleepyCabin - SleepyCast S2:E14 - [SleepyPasta]

Episode Date: March 5, 2016

The crew heads up to NYC to Shanghai Zach into recounting his latest head-on collision with New York's finest. Politics, Celebrities, trapdoors meant to ensnare drunken victims into glass cages for parents to better educate their children against the dangers of maritime lawlessness. And the very first sleepypasta ... or creepycabin.... creepycast? Donkey Kong improv spookfest... yah, ok. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Your hosts for the evening: Zach (www.youtube.com/user/psychicpebbles) Oney (www.youtube.com/user/OneyNG) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/user/Spazkidin3D) Ricepirate (www.youtube.com/user/ricepiratenewgrounds) Regular Guest: Shadman (www.youtube.com/user/TheRealShadman) Music by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/ Podcast editing by: Niall - Initial edit Jakub Z - Main Edit Ricepirate - Final Pass +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Shane Danells . Ryan Pagonis . Creeps McPasta Brian Adam . Jace Baker . Denis DeLong Liam Staley . Sonny Canchola . Paul Raymond Lucas Boucher . ubernoobinator . Matt Gronhovd Rodolfo Davis Millet . Corbin Record . Dean Borris Andrew Dore . Elecktricd00m . Kellen Dani Rucker . Dazzanator . Conner St. John Phillip Tafoya . Hudson Heitmeier . Sam Child Yuval Birenzweig . Dan Jakab . Chaney Rockwell Jacob Arends . Chris Moore . Shane Liesse Blake Bevill . ChewySmokey . aguynamedGeoff Bill Zhuang +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

There is a world as tangible as our own. Impossible to see yet. Unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Buried deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin. It's a bunch of guys.

He's a bunch bullshit. Hey guys, this podcast is brought to you by funny.com. We've got a lot of great stuff here. If you click this subforums, you'll see a lot of gyps. We got one where it's like Rob Schneider saying, you can't do it. And go ahead, you know something? You can like and show that.

People, I'm smiling a little bit. It's a little bit warm in here, but you know something? You ever just sit there with a girl on a bed and you just, you don't know how to get their panties? Just show it that you can't do it. And yeah, I know I've used that one twice, but we got a lot of stuff in there. Please show your grandparents, show your ugly mother, show your grandparents, but I'll tell you something.

Please, I'm seriously advised we get a lot of complaints daily. You need to guide them when you use this website. There's a lot of viruses. We get complaints about malware. We get complaints about people stealing. credit card information. But it's a funny website. So please go to funny.com. Thank you so much. It doesn't have the HTTP at the top.

Google will reject the website if you're trying to go into it. So please do not go to the website. Please put your PayPal information in the website. There's a big red X. This side is not safe. It's like four red X in a store. But if you go there, you will laugh. It'll be worth it.

Just put your PayPal information right there and you'll get so many laughs. It's just like a compressed Gap of Rob China. It's just, guys, if you put your PayPal information that you will, you will be revealed a gift of Rob Schneider with audio quality.

It's like on a phone up to a fucking thing it's like you can do it is scratchy and yeah the gift

it's just like the video recording for my cell phone it's like no this fucking pitch black like background

webbis with the white and red text can be like TV in the backgrounds yeah it's just

just to be this site called like YTMD I don't know if that's what it's called I remember that yeah it was just like

oh yeah people would always always send that on like forum sites was it like like a McDonald

is that the one It had just a scream and it was black. It was like gifts would sound. Yeah, you could add a gift, you could tile it and you could put music to it. Yeah, it was really popular. There was something like Ronald McDonald's or something. Yeah, I thought they just did a bunch of like jump scare gifts and stuff too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Penny Hill theme. It was like really stupid shit that you cared about. It was just anything with the Penny Hill thing. Yeah, exactly. That and fucking caramel dance was like 90% of the shit. Do you remember caramel dancing? What was that one?

What was that one with like the fucking gay like this shit? Oh, whoa, what? What are the hips dance corin? Yeah, I was like that too. This is the golden age of the fucking The hamsterdip was the golden age I never saw that one You ever saw the hapset?

It was the... This is around the island You know like God made the world And then sent Jesus to us The fucking internet was made And then they sent the fucking hamsterisk I think you were gonna say Jesus has been the hamsterisked Jesus did the hamsterisked

Before the Hank Hill YouTube poops There was the legendary city I was And then now we have like Really well done YouTube poofs Like before it was more simpler It was like Just like obnoxiously bright colors That would just flashed in your ears

Everybody thought it was funny to just blast static noise. It's kind of funny, but it's not funny for the road. Oh, no, no. It's got like rainbow colors. Yeah. And just like static noise of like fucking pinguish every other. Just remember all these fucking old websites, those shitty horrible old websites. Like, there was like the Final Fantasy forums where it's just like black backgrounds and white text.

And all those shitty old websites had those. It was always creepy to go on a black website with white text for some reason. It feels like you're like the fucking dark web or something. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like that. It's skeletons instead. Chad show me some real fucking deep web videos.

I'm like doing research so I'm looking up characters from old animas and like shows in general. And then yeah, you get like these like dark websites or bright green texts. Yeah. Two, four characters and then like that's the red text underneath is like the level. I don't know why that's really really creepy. I don't know why. I just feel like you're looking through a graveyard because nobody's used their accounts like 2001. It's mad, but it's also the fact that it's like it feels kind of lonely just going on to that kind of website.

He's no one's watching. It's like, it's like, it's like a counter of people online. It says one. I was just like, oh, it's just like, like, 37 unique visitors, there's like Digimon Gifts dancing at the bottom of the corner. There was, I remember he used to go on this website that was just called Final Fantasy 7 rumors. It was like, what are you going to find out? How many rumors could there be? Where other words could you know that?

He had all these, like, fucking bullshit rumors that I was like, wow, I was like, get the wooden chokobo. Find Yufi's dad's under. Which is his had resurrect aureth as well? Yeah, it had resurrect eryth and like, like, get Sepero within your party. Like, why the fuck would he join your party? The point of the game is the count on. It's like Mario 64. They had like 100 different ways

to unlock Luigi and all these different websites. So like find the hidden room in the castle. You could play as Toad and Smashbones. Like really Toad is the character to the fucking bandit. The one was character of audio. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's all skewed.

Before you know about Photoshop, they always use all these like shady fucking pictures of like clearly drawn in different things. You're just like, wow, it looks real. Corey, there was the fucking rainbow chocobo, the white chokobo. You could ride the black chokebo. Oh, I know there was.

Did they have pictures back in, like screenshots? Or was it just? There was no rumors that like as a kid you're like holy fuck, that's so cool Yeah, this is what that grow up and you're like I was an actual autistic child They were like my cheats. I used to go to like a website called like game winners. I didn't know about like cheat sites So I'd go to game winners and they would say like it was like 90% of the cheats didn't work and like 10% of them did God there was fucking cheeses which he didn't work Yeah, I forgot about that

They would just fill the pages with these fucking cheats which like Mario and it's like so like mire 64 cheat it would be like play as like bowser by doing all this other stuff I was fucking Grant the Thought of Vice City Cheapbooks, which just did not work. Yeah, they didn't know about that. You feel like a retort when you're like 10, so you put the code for like 30 minutes. Yeah, so you just like, but like, my game is broken then. Yeah, completely forgot. Like, how did they get away with that? You're selling a book that doesn't work?

I know. And they were put in fake sheets. No, it was just fake because, like, for Grant the thought it was a lot of big cheese. Like, they were just fake. You know, like, things, like, you couldn't do it now, but like playing as Mario and they're chill pictures of it. Yeah. And you couldn't do it. Obviously it was like, you know, like these assholes from China who ripped the game and put fucking Mario in it?

Every now and then, something that was completely ridiculous would actually... Would be real. Like, the Master Hand thing in Super Smash Bros. That was insane. When I discovered that, I was like, you can't play Master! No, I did not believe it. Even as a kid, I was like, this is bullshit. But it's from, like, manipulating data.

I was gonna say that was one of the rumors was like, you play as Tone. There's a sheep photo picture of like, Toad and Master Hand at both sides. I was like, whoa, do you understand that one picture of Smash Bros? It was like, literally there was 80 characters on the sheet. And a lot of them were like just two-die, like, drawings. It would be the worst game ever. It looks completely unbalanced and terrible, but I was still like, whoa. Yeah, that's really weird.

Played George Bush and Smash Bros. Wow, amazing. Well, it's because, like, back then, remember how, like, when you unlock stuff and melee, it always felt like you worked on lock stuff? Like, when I finally found out how to unlock MUT too, and then I did it because I left the game on on overnight. It's like, you would think that there's so many other ways to unlock character. Wait, that's how you unlock it. Yeah, no. That was the way.

It was the most cryptic shit, but that's what made it cool. Yeah. It was word-of-mouth shit, and that's, like, that's always the coolest shit to me in games. But then there was like bullshit where you had to collect, like, there was somewhere like two of long characters you had to collect every single trophy. Yeah. That's bullshit. Yeah. If you're mute the thing, you didn't literally have to leave it on overnight.

It's just that you have to play a certain amount of time. But if you knew that, you could just leave it on. Yeah, exactly. Because you had to play a two-player match. Yeah. I had two-player match for like 24 hours or something. Yeah, it was a long. You know, there's like a game, we've probably talked about this before.

I think in one of the versions of civilization when you're playing it, if you enter your name as a user profile, there's a set amount of, like, names where the game has audio files. on the computer that installs. I saw that. If you can call yourself, Chris, you could be playing it. It'll just go like, that would be the actual scariest scary in the game. I saw that in like the top 30 most creepiest Easter eggs in games.

That's fucking cool. That is a really cool Easter egg, the idea of that. Because it sounds fucking eerie the way he says it. They ever tell you the scariest game moment I've ever had. No. It was in Minecraft. What?

Oh my god. You're gonna take that back? No, this was the biggest scare. You can really stop at 80. Are you gonna go all the creeper cave? I heard of his. This was scariest. Pissed red down by leg. This was the scariest thing that ever, like, no, probably in my life.

This was the most scared I ever was. You see Harold Ryan. Yeah, you saw it's a bold way. No, it was so weird. You saw Enderbrook. No. No, it was really scary, right? I was like playing Minecraft for months and months and months, right?

And I was like, I was a Minecraft kid at the time. Well, I wasn't a kid, I was like 17 or something. You're like 20 years old. Yeah, but anyway, it's 25. This is still scary, right? So I was like digging a cave for hours and hours and hours. I was like this is fucking great. But it was like pure silence, right?

And I was just digging away. And then this fucking music came on, right? It went, doom, dooom, do, do, do, do. And I was like, what the fuck, right? And I stood up from the desk, I pushed my desk away from me. I shit my pants. I thought something in the game was like invading or coming for me. Cause where the fuck would that music come out of?

Did you do that mean, where you like punch the screen? I was, I was digging and you just hear the, and then suddenly you hear like, whoa, it's like really creepy, it's completely dark and you hear this like creepy area music. Those sounds are... No, I can deal with the scary sounds where it goes like... That's the first time I never heard it.

There's all these like ambient drones that'll pop in when you discover a game. But this fucking techno music came out of nowhere and it scared the fucking shit out of me. So what was it? I was like that happened recently. What? Something like that happened recently I was playing music on my thing and I turned the volume off and I clicked the YouTube video. So I got out later, I clicked the YouTube video. Yeah.

And I forgot the music was playing. Yeah. And I wanted to listen to the video so I turned the volume up to play the video and it heard... And it was like, it was a door open and I was... open and I was like, I served really, really heavily. Nikki was there, she like shat her pants. It was the beginning of the fucking thriller. It was the fucking thriller.

But it was literally the baguette perfect exactly. I was just like, my bollig was all the way up and I was like, I was fucking steal. I can't believe it. Wait, wait, before you talk. Oh yeah, yeah. Something like that happens to me every now and again where I'll leave my computer on and then it will just go like, like, I'll be like sitting in silence for hours and it'll be like, are you tired of your dog? Yeah.

It's like, what the fuck? It's just U-Torn. U-Torn just plays ads at random. How do you have U-Torn open? All the time. It's just open, but I don't see. But anyways, like, you just leave it open, and it plays those ads at random. And I didn't discover where it was...

Like, I had a fucking week-long, like, search for what was making that fucking noise once, and I found that was U-Torn. Got really fucking mad. Sometimes if you, like, watch a porn video, you'd be, like, Papa Bads. Yeah. Sometimes you'll forget one of those open it, and they'll be, like, oh! Oh, oh, oh, my God!

Put my ass! Yeah, but sometimes you just hear, like, really subtle things, too. It's like, hey baby, Baby. Yeah, you're like, is this gets a funny? Is this the moment we're just... Yeah, and he was like, what the fuck? I'm the right age for it.

Is this what he gets kicks in? Back men, when you used to buy CDs, some of your, like, favorite bands you'd listen to, like, at the time, this was a, at the end of a really fish CD, um, they play a song called, like, uh, I hate your guts. And at the end of the song, it's like, fuck you, and then it does that. The song is like 26 minutes long.

Oh yeah, yeah. And there's nothing, there's no noise. There's just like a really like, there's like a droning guitar part that plays for the last five seconds and then it stops. Yeah. And then at the very end, it's just silence for like 16 minutes. Like a record thing cuts on and then there's like... It's like talking backwards with like scary, like demonic sounds.

And if you play that last part backward, it's like, hi, buy our CDs. Buy all our stuff. You love real big fish. You love real big fish. But it's really eerie because there's people going... The background, well, it's not going ghost tracks. Don't they call those ghost tracks? I think a lot of albums have secret tracks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, at the end of the thing. But there are like people screaming like banshees while he's fucking talking nicely. It was like, that's like mean almost. Yeah, like, because we shouldn't play a song, you forget it's odd, and it just happened. Yeah, I used to go to bed. Was it like blasting out like 15% audio with my headphones in, right? Yeah. And I'd fall asleep to that.

And then they'd wake your ass up. And it suddenly, like, shoo away, like in the middle of a night. It was the house. That Minecraft star, I, like, I looked it up, like, after it happened, and it, Like I was like I couldn't find anything better for months, but right after it happened it turns out that He coded it in the game so there was like a point zero zero one percent chance of playing or whatever And it's just it was like the fucking loudest music I've ever heard I honestly just thought I was getting invaded by like like notch or something Just to make sure yeah

When you're 17 yeah, I'll scare you have I swear it I swear it I swear it The moments I had been scared before that was when our house got burgled and we came home during it That was pretty scary when Minecraft beats it by that's fly Because at least the invaders didn't play my type music in a pro-king. That would be it's scary. No, but it's like getting a jump scare in a video. It just comes out of nowhere and you're like,

you can't help being scared. But it was just the fact that came out of nowhere and it kept going. And it's like, what am I doing wrong? What am I doing wrong? What is this? Like, if they show up with like a little mini computer playing a techno song, while you're really fucking stealing your shit so you could like correlate that situation with that situation. You'd be frozen and threw all they take you shit back in the song.

You'd freeze up like a puppy. I remember when that Harry O'Brien story came out. I was like, wow, that's creepy. That's scary. That's really scary. Was that shitty Zelda one where link it has like a face for like Major's Man's Oh, fucking Ben Brown. That's a good round.

That's a good one, dude. That one was crazy. Because at the time, like, the idea of it is so interesting, but the fact that there's actual footage for it. What's the story behind it? I always saw images where it's like, it's that. This kid was at a garage sale or something. He bought an old copy of Major's mask.

But it turns out the kid who owned it, like, drowned. So he like, he possessed the Major's mask. And then the kid started playing. it and the game started like, he hacked the game to make it look like the game was like fucking with him and talking to him. But he did it in really clever ways where it suited the story of the kid drowning. But um, like it's

really creepy if you watch the video. He modded it and he made it like mod to play like specifically how he described the story. Word for word in the text. It's really bizarre. If you explain it like that it sounds pretty gay but it's just the storytelling of it is pretty well done to take a game as a media. It's all that story telling you. When I do creepy process is like, I was playing the monitor

game. I saw I saw Barrow's eyes went black. Turn the game up, you fucking retort? You're fucking idiot. What's I love when they're like, I saw Mario and he was reaching up. His little surprise was asking for help and I couldn't do anything. I just sat at what fucking are you, please. I fucking love that Bart.

It's like the funny of shit. It's like, uh, Matt Groening's like, I worked for Matt Groening and Matt Groening really hated it. He did not want to talk about it. So when I saw the footage, Bart fell out of an airplane, and when his family were at the funeral, they were all staring at a hyper-realistic, Orps, a warps, a fart center.

It's like, why would his family be looking at that? Why would they bury him and shit? But then there's like other creepfasters were like, Squidward's eyes were gouged out of his head. It's like this picture of Squidward. It's just like, you know, run a snippy painting photos of Squidward and they just like paint his eyes black. It's just stupid as shit.

The, like, I will say the Dottie X's are fucking hilarious, but the lost episodes take the cake. Like they're, like the autistic ones with the autistic ones, like, the autistic ones, like, the guys like, when they're trying to defend, like, like, TV shows, like old Saturday morning Sonic cartoons, and it's like the last episode of that. It always ends the same way with

like hyper-realistic blood and being on until I died or something. I remember the Tales film was really funny to me. There was like a hundred videos of these little red dots and people were like, you gotta give this to the police in the fucking what? What? This kid I knew when I was younger should be a one called Suicide Mouse. Do you know about that one?

Yeah, that was actually pretty good. It was like, well there was this fourth cartoon with two men, Rick and Mouse walking down the sun. Yeah. the music becomes twisted and he began screaming and this kid was actually petrified. He couldn't sleep that night when he showed it to me. He's like, I just saw the most fucked-up thing and I was laughing at it. There's a video like Mickey Mouse fucking that soon is like some guy going, ah, and he's like, and it's like cutting to like images of like him dead.

Yeah, it's the gay shit ever, I was laughing. I was, you see this? There's like corpses and fucking tubs with like mulches and they're just like fucking walking down. It's just toward the deltons. Dumb. People are fucking retarded. Like, when I hear the fact, like, like, what I hear the fact, like, like,

When I hear like a creepy pasta of fucking Star Fox where he's flying over in the water, I'm like that's autistic. It doesn't scare me at all. I like creepy pastas to make it seem somewhat realistic. Yeah. Where a guy's like, I bought a like a carrot and it seemed like it was hacked. But it was just like the way he told it was really fucked up. Like that Pokemon Black.

The Pokemon Black one is really cool. The idea of that would be awesome. Like an actual game of that would be funny. If that actually happened, that would be terrifying. Like if you found that car. But the ones was like, and then I turned off the game and it turns up back on. And Mario is real. Shut up.

In that Sonic-I-Korn, he turned his thing off, but then the computer popped on and all these new pictures popped up, like, the girl-it-corn-like thing with like red in her eyes. And it's like, who cares? If my computer turned on, I saw tails of his eyes and I'd laugh. I love the way they always put in these details to try and make it scares. Like, when Mario looked at me, he opened his mouth, but only static came out. What else is gonna happen? Like, yeah, it's bit crushed. It's like an old game.

You can't talk proper. First of all, if Mario was getting eaten or ripped apart by Bowser, I would be laughing my fucking ass-up. Right? Like, I'll fucking help me. Wasn't in Sonic EXC the last thing? Like his face came up really realistic. Yeah. I am God. So it's like the least scariest thing ever.

We should make a creepy pastor right now. We should. Let's pick the game. Let's find something that's not remotely scary. Okay, what's a game? DonkeyCon. We can all relate to that. Donkey Kong. He looks 64.

I've never played 60. Okay, no way, well, during the, during, I turned, you started. I was at a garage sale from this man. He said his little boy died mysteriously, and he said his boy's favorite game was Donkey Kong 64, and he would always sing the DK rap. And that was his last words before he died,

and they bought it off of him. Like, that's a shitty cream post. No, we don't, we have to continue. No, it's like a circle, he told him to piece of corn. What happened then? You're given away too much of the stairs so far. Don't think when I start, like,

it was a nice, bright sunny day. Yeah, and I just got my week. And I really wanted to buy a game. I'll do it like this pretty much. I've never heard one, by the way. Don't give away. You told me, Chadd explained in depth. Okay, I'll be vague.

I'll be vague. My father fucked me in the end. But it was a bright sunny day, so I didn't care that much. Okay, wait. I was at a garage show with my mom, and I bought a copy of Belkegonk 64. Wow, I said. I cannot wait to play this one. Okay.

My mom handed me the cartridge. I noticed that it was missing something. And no longer had a label, but it did it. have something written on it called DocuConcum 64 the untold copy or unsold copy. The unsold copy? The unsold copy? I'm told. But who is a side-like?

That's the details you gotta go more. Those are the details that put in. Okay. So it was like, behind it, I turned the cartridge over and to my surprise, the real, Shigerra Miyamoto signed it. Okay, Mick, I was so excited to have that signature. I got on my two-wheeler and wrote it really fast back home. I didn't even bother to drive into the garage.

I just jump right off my bike and threw my bike into the lawn like they do, like in those shows. I ran into the house and I popped that sucker into that Nintendo 64, put on the play button, and got ready for a special treat. This was when I first noticed something was wrong. When I put in the cartridge, I felt it lock in. And I never noticed other games do that before. I tried taking it out, but it wouldn't come out at first. So I just figured maybe there was a little piece of plastic sticking out, but I just let it slide.

So I turned on the game, and there it is, the old logo I used to remember. I remember a year ago when I was two, one. This dude is fucking two or three. Is that two or three? The two little baby? Shad, here you go. Now the whole bike thing is makes sense so you fucking put someone on a bike and push the bike down the hill.

You're gonna put in stupid as details like that to make it more realistic. The DK rap started playing, but something was off about it. The lyrics were all jumbled and their eyes were glitching up. But I just shrugged it off and pressed starch. Stark, ready to relive some of my childhood memories. Zach? Zach's time.

I look past the DK rap. I said, time to play my favorite game. I started a new file up. And usually when Donkey Kong sees a banana, he says, oh, banana. But he did not this time. He said, ugh, banana. But it sounded like a little boy screaming. I couldn't quite make it out all the way.

That's when I turned around. I saw my own with red face paint knocking my mother off she was being a roof as usual I started it up just like I remember the pan in with the bird and everything you guys know the rest

Cranky Kong told me I had to go get the three barrels so I can learn the basics climbing breaking barrels and jumping but something strange happened after cranky told me my mission the barrels were nowhere to be found I looked everywhere but I couldn't find the barrels confused I entered the banana whore

hoping to find some That was just a real tutorial cord. That's just a real, that's perfect. That's what they do? It's really. You gotta pace it, so it's not all scared. After entering the Banana Ward, I noticed the screen was a lot darker than usual. I tried to adjust the TV brightness, but for some reason it stayed as dark as it was.

Then I got the idea that I would get on Skype and contact my friends and ask them if they knew anything about this banana sound that Donkey Kong cake, as well as the glitchy eyes, the jumbled lyrics of the rap, my mom in red face behind me, and the missing barrels that cranky spoke of. As I stood there on Skype, after pressing enter, I waited. Ten seconds later, I saw my friend was beginning to type as the three little dots began to bounce, but then they stopped. Whatever he was going to write, he never sent me. So I went back to the game, but now...

Oh, me? Okay. Now I realized something was very wrong. The screen had gotten darker, even more so than, before but this is when things really started to shake me up I looked into the corner of the screen and I noticed something was happening so I made Donkey Kong walk over there to my utter and complete shock a 3D model of King Kruel started rising out of the terrain but he had no textures he was purple he that he faced my character and had no animations he was just teaposing he slowly moved towards Donkey Kong and I made Donkey Kong run the other direction as fast as I

could it's rep with genius Just like this like fucking like, like, like he's running up the fucking route. This is like that Tron buzz just like, woo. I watched in terror as my favorite monkey hero got torn to shred and was screaming in agony. I couldn't help but cry a little

as I saw Donkey Kong's rip cage burst open by King K. Rule's claws. That's what I saw it. I screamed. I turned the game off. I started it back. I reset the game. I tried to pull it up, but I couldn't. I decided to give another dough. All that appeared on the screen was a photorealistic dead monkey with flies buzzing around it. And a tie poorly photoshopped on his body. It looked like somebody had really killed a monkey and put a tie on it. I didn't know what to do.

I grasped at my heart. It started to be faster and faster. Suddenly the picture zoomed out. And I was greeted to the Nintendo opening from the GameCube game Luigi's Mansion. You know the one, Nintendo. No. The zoom out suddenly shown that the banana whore wasn't what I remembered it. The bananas were rotten, dripping with booze of some kind. And the face, well, that was actually a face that was stabbed by a stick with all the other King Kong Head telling him. You know, Stinky Kong, Candy Kong. Lanky. Lanky was crucified like Jesus. Crucified at the top, crispy Kong and Kooky Kong. They were all dead. We had

depart in the purple King Carol hoarding over his hoard of bananas. He made loud static eyes. No, no, no, no, I got a good ending. Needless to say, I shit my pairs. I joke that. I can't have a two-year-old saying that. What? A two-year-old was saying any of this?

Yes, dude. He was autistic. Fine. That's why he's making references to a fucking GameCube game, like 15 years on top. Fine, he shied his diaper, fucking jumped up, ran back to his room, crying. He went back to go tell his friend what had happened. Wait, what? Are you talking to third person? Were we talking to first person?

Yeah. Oh shit. Fine. Okay, hold on. You should keep that in. Oh, shut out. I shit myself. I jumped up.

He said I pooped myself. I filled my diaper. Fine. I pooped myself. Poop-doopy, Doopie, dopy everywhere! Mommy's so mad, red-faced, mom! Mommy yells, screamy screams. I run, I run, I'm so fast.

I go to my room, I Skypey, Skype. It's fucking dissolved to a haiku. Fuck you, Mick. I'm gonna end a story. This is a Japanese poem. I'm gonna end the goddamn story. Chris, I had an epilogue after your end. Okay, okay, alright, I'm continuing from you because we have to be funny.

I'm gonna be like, fuck you, Mick. I'm gonna end the story the way it needs to be ended. Fine. You gotta play era music. It was at this, this was when my Skype finally messaged me back. I ran over to my computer and there was, there was my friend being held by the hair by King K. Ruhl himself. Only my friend didn't have his usual body beneath his head.

He was decapitating. And he was followed by text that said, this is real. This is real. This is rape. Wait, no, why? That, finally, my TV flickered, text appeared. This is only a demo, but thank you for playing my game. Please buy when it comes out.

You're Kira Mianmona. Signed, officially. It is not complete. Please be nice. It's not complete. Please be nice. There we go. First creepy pasta.

I don't think I've ever done something like that. It was amazing. I think they would ban that one and it gets into the site. It was most into the cruise off the headquarters. They'd be like, this is stupid. That was my favorite leading cabin moment ever. moment ever. That was pretty...

You wanted to talk about the real Rob? Tell us about Real Rob. This is an interesting story. So I can't remember... I was on Rob Schneider. It was like, IMDB or something. I was like, what is he done?

So it's like, Duke Spiegel or 2. And I saw Real Rob, and I was like, what the fuck is this? I typed Real Rob on YouTube. And I saw these clips for like 2015 with like a thousand views on his official YouTube channel. It's like his. Actual. No branding at all.

It's really... Yeah, but it's his. Really? Because it's different. Yeah, it's his. And there's like three clips. And I linked him. You can, you can,

you type in Real Rob, it's called like Real Rob Sneak Peak. I think the second one is the best one. It's like Rob Schneider going to a coffee shop. Oh, is that? I've seen that. You can tell us, you can tell the Ruffelder watch like curb enthusiast. Oh, I can make that. That's easy.

I think he watched the Louis. You watched Louis and Curb, but I'll get to that in a second too. Yeah, it's Seinfeld. Is it also kind of like the Ricky Jervas show or the, the, where he was extras, where he's like. Kind of, but the rich. I tell you, I've been watching like Seinfeld. Oh, what are you think of it. I like it's good show, right?

It's not what he thought it was, right? It's like a cheesy night you show. It's good. Yeah, you do watch stuff after a while. Like, every single night we watch Seinfeld, but she puts it on it and I kind of like... Absorb it. Seinfeld is the white noise of New York City. If you live in New York City and you have a television, you're going to have Sine.

It's on every night. It's on every night. So you're saying, like, so yeah. So, yeah. So, but, like, if you watch Kerber, like, a show about a celebrity, it's usually like the celebrities are really petty kind of, you know, neurotic, neurotic, neurotic, petty people. Like, they're successful, but they're still, like, they're really petty about stuff. Like a dog or they'll squab over, like, a nickel or something.

Rob Schleller did I get that memo. His show is about how famous he is, how cool he is and how rich he is. And so the sneak peek at YouTube is he like, it really piqued my interest. I was like, what's this? And he goes to like a coffee shop and the guy's like, okay, here's your coffee.

He's like, what? He's like, what are you going to tip? He's like, no, I need more. You're famous. You could give me $100. And Rob Scheneder goes, I can give you $1,000, but I'm not going to do that either. And I was like, whoa, it's fucking real.

And it goes off for like 10 minutes. And he says, it ends with him. It ends with him, he says, yeah, he says, I'll go back to my $2 million house and my $150,000 car and sleep with my hot 29 year old wife he leaves and I was like, this will be fucking good and so I looked at him to do it more

And he comes back then And he gives him a $20 kid He gives him a 20, yeah He's a hero on top of that But it's supposed to be self-aware, right? We're supposed to say, what an idiot Yeah, no, no, no, but like it's not that kind of character

We're like, oh this guy's, you really believe that's how Rob Finner is because he wrote it You know, in Louis, it's like he's like, you know doing well for himself and stuff but he still has a shitty horrible life Like, that's what makes it funny. That's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to relate kind of.

He's rich, but he literally gives like the most like petty neurotic re-row. That's what makes enjoyable. Who's the guy that you like the comedian? Noor McDonald's. Yeah. This is the saddest part. That was terrible. I think we say this.

I think Norm McDonald's is one of the funniest comedians of all time. One of the most underrated comedians of all time. I've never seen him ever do anything. He plays a good chicken man. Absolutely. You say chicken man? What the fuck does that mean? I like how you started with exactly.

Like you were ready? I was ready to just be like, to just be like, Yes, Corey. You're on board. But he's on board a different ship, dude. I'll tell you, he's like Hitler. I look at his eyes and he believes himself, so I believe him.

I was like, oh yeah, naturally, he's just a chicken man. And then I saw the fear of his eyes. But it finally struck me out of his eyes. When I'm Corey realized what he said, that he created a monster. You were on a ship around the freaking Manhattan Islands. Corey was on a ship to fucking Mars. He was not this planet.

But he's good chicken man, go ahead. Nor McDonald, where the funny school, never done anything bad ever until I saw this. It's the saddest thing. I know. That hurt me in my heart. Yeah. Everything he's ever been in.

To be fair, it looked like you didn't want to be... You watch the clip. It's Rob Schneider, the story is Rob Schneider once seen in a vasectomy or whatever. And the gag is that Rob Schneider is worried that it has to do with, like, memory loss or it leads to dementia or something. And he's like, oh, my friend Norm MacDonald got up hisectomy. I'll talk to him. And he goes to, like, a diner with this shitty, like, not-curbing enthusiasm music where it's trying to be there. And he sits there with Normie Donald.

And Norm is just sitting there, and he just looks so tired. And he never moves his eyes. They're staring directly straight. They never move. And he deliberately, I can tell, you can just feel it. Norma does really good improv comic. You can tell he's read up his script. And I'm pretty sure what happened was he started doing improv,

and Rob was like, no, do the fucking script. Because he just sitting there like with no smile. Like he was making a point, like a passive point. I'm like, fine. You want me to read every word just as it is fine. That's what you got. It's really, really bad. Yeah.

He's sitting there with a stick up his ass. He's just sitting like, yeah, anyway, he does not want to be there. But the most interesting thing about that show, you can tell immediately when you watch it is, I'm pretty sure this was Rob Schneider's choice. I think he wore his eyes to pop, eyes. So the saturation is fucking blasted.

So all of the blues are super, super blue. His eyes, everyone who has like slightly greener blue eyes has vibrant blue eyes. All the oranges of blues are super turned up. Like the shots of valley look really nice, which is, hey, no, it's not right. You know, it's fucking, it's ridiculous.

But the show is something is even more baffling. The show is, the first thing is, it's a Netflix original. But there's no, it's the only Netflix show I've ever seen with zero Netflix branding. There's no Netflix original on it. I didn't look it up. It's push to the back of Netflix and when they starts there's no commercials it just starts the episode

I'm embarrassed by it yeah they don't even want to put their name on it they can't want to look in norm at that YouTube red carpet thing is the funniest video yeah if you're at home type in Norm MacDonald Killian on YouTube it's him with the YouTube carpet red carpet thing comedy week comedy week he's with like Cassum G it's one of the YouTuber

and he's looking sweatpants and he's looking at this outdoor living room he doesn't care all the stars are here Raffai Fine wow What do you say like get blasted I just remember there's like this like go anime video floating around where it's like all the bad guys get grilled and it's just like a bunch of it's like Freddy Cougar walking in. Corey, you are autistic. Corey, what?

This is like, Freddy Cougar and Jackie and the mom's like, you were bad. Go to your room. And he's like, wow. Then he goes like another bad guy. Cool, I thought you were going up with my thought. You did it so naturally. I thought you were going up what I was saying. It was completely.

But there's like a related video of like a controversial go anime video about a kid who puts his baby sister on a grill and then eat. There's like there's like reaction videos of little kids being like whoa this is messed up you're gonna hear like fish tanks popping in the back You're gonna turn fighting in the back room? There's like 14 fucking videos on the side. There are just nothing but that it's just like these like kids that are like you can hear like the loud clicks of their fucking button They're just like that's so messed up I'm sorry to distract you for your point but that reminds me something really funny was it when me and you first started talking to each other You live there in Kansas and you had that shitty-ass microphone.

Yeah, I had a fish tank. Yeah, yeah, one time I was like, Zach, can you send me lines for something? He was like, okay, and he sent me the line and it was like, b-hm-like a big fish tank and his, like voice like, I think it was line with my voice. Yeah, yeah, I was like, Zach, I can't use that, like going to your closet, and then he sent me back this thing. It was literally, he found every sound effect he could and he layered them all on top of each other, like power drills, like birds, like airplanes. I still like construction guys are going, hey, moving back now! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got so... fucking mad at him. I was like punched my computer. I told the funniest thing was I took the original audio situation and just added that atop. I didn't really do it. Yeah, you fucking asshole. I didn't mean to derail the conversation. No, that's funny. Remind me of that. But when you say, like, uh, when it's just saying something like, he's killing it.

And just, that's a little fucking kid saying shit. Because like, so go back to your norm story. So Rob Schneider. So this thing is like pushed the back of Netflix. And the show is fucking strange. So he like, I was watching interviews. He was like, he was like, compared to faulty towers. Oh.

He was like, he was like, yeah. He was like, yeah. Cleese and his rap wrote that series, so I'm gonna do this to my wife. And he puts his real life wife in the show, and she's like some 25-year-old Mexican. 29-year-old, sorry. Don't I get confused to her. And he, like, shows her pussy and her ass and her tits in every episode. Wait, see her really, like, revealing and sexy outfits.

He gets her tits in every shot she's in. She's like, rub, I don't know what to be in the show. Like her bare tits? No, but like she's like really really, her cleavage. What an asshole. She's like on a strip hole. And it's like a pussy, tight, like, a pussy in like, panties. it's his real wife

because light liberty is terrible but it's fascinating if you really want to watch something that's interesting I watch it at all I watch it at all I watch it three episodes even if you are self-aware

and you're making fun of the fact you're making fun of yourself in certain ways I feel like the fact that you're still promoting the idea that you are this super rich guy with this super awesome car

and the super hot wife no matter how much you trash yourself or you know whatever make fun of yourself that's still the main focus it's what he's trying to do you can pretend it's not for that

but it's what that for the one is you know I heard that title is like, I'm the real rock. The real Rob. Did you see that episode where he runs over a black guy? He runs where he's like this car? And this is really creepy how, like how the black guys just there, like a blood covered over his face and the cops keep talking to him, telling him how funny he is and do his real out.

There's a guy, there's like, yeah, there's a guy, they're like, well, Ruppstein, he's like, can I get a selfie with you? Are you okay? Yeah. It's really creepy. A glass of water? You're so funny.

Yeah, you're so funny. Is that supposed to be the joke though? Because no one would actually ever say that to him? I'm not trying to be an asshole, but Chad and I were talking about this earlier. When it comes to Rob Schneider, it's not like, I know very few people that hate him, but I don't know a single person that would ever say, I want to grow up to be the next Rob Schneider. Or like my favorite guy in that movie, Rob Schneider.

I'll say this, nobody's said his name dearly like 20 years. It's always like we got Rob Schneider. Those are ever said Rob Schneider in like a good way in a long time. I bet on that South Park episode had a lot to do with this. Like that episode made him into an actual joke. But he's always been an asshole. He's always been an asshole, right? But nobody really cared or knew that.

But then that episode came out. It was like, ah, ha, ha, durper, durp, durp. And then now he's just like, I'm not a joke! And he makes that show to look cool. I think that's what it is. Yeah. Jack, have you seen the tagline of the episode that he's a comedian who is more funny off camera?

Because instead, this is the real rock-off camera. He's a lot funnier. The best thing is, though, is it, every episode has like two or three parts where he's doing the Louis thing, or the side-bell-louet thing, where he's like in front of a brick wall. But it's like a shitty, obviously,

he's like plastic brick wall. And he's very obviously not in the audience. Like, he's not as hell he jokes to anybody. Does he really do the same thing Louis does? Yes. Come on, dude. But he'll, like, do the bit from, like, the episode. Yeah.

But I really would kill to see the raw footage of him with, like, white noise and, like, people coughing. And, like, no, like, no, like, awful. With this shitty, like, he's just in front of a fucking fake, like, shitty plastic wall. Like, you know the way, Louis, like, directs that? And he starts that. And he edits it, too. Like, I wonder does Rob, like, do any of that? I think he, he sort of was self-funded.

But if you would get interviews with it, the whole thing is just fucking strange. He did like eight episodes. That one with the billboard? Yes. He keeps stressing he got half a million dollars to be in an ad. The fact that, dude, so the part he's talking about, he like does this weird Chinese erectile dysfunction. He's like, you're sure this is not going to be in America, right?

He goes like, no, no, no, it would not be in America. He's like, here's your payment. And they're like at a conference with cameras. And the Chinese guy pulls out a bag of cash of half a million dollars in cash. And I was like, Rob Schleider, that has never happened to you. Who the fuck pays in cash, you weirdo? It's almost like the opposite. Do you ever see extras?

I've seen... It's like he's one of the guys from... Yeah, he's like one of the guests from extras. Exactly, exactly. It's creepy. The whole piece is creepy. You're talking about, like, adding, like, white noise to something. It's kind of like when people take the big bank theory and remove out all the laughing.

So it's just like these creepy people fighting together. But there's another one that's really bizarre that Lexi showed me. She showed me full house without that... What's that little girl's name? A little girl... The Olsen twins? The Olson twins? The Olson twin that was popular.

Yeah, there's two of them. Mary Cana and Ashley? Which one? Which one was the... They switched out. They're one character in the show, they switched out. Yeah, yeah, but there was like one girl in it. Is that weird?

It's that fucking weird? They were one that they were just alternated babies. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, it's fucked up. But the little one that the humor revolved around, they made an episode where they completely cut her out. And he's just like talking to like nothing. He's like, I think, or I'll say, Mary or Kate, I'll be like, he'll be like, hey Kate, what do you have to say about this?

And there's just like no audio and he's like, we'll have to talk to some people about that. And it's just like the girl comes in, like, the one of the little older, little older girls and she's just like, she's just like, I forget what his name is, but he's like, um, what's his actual I don't like, I'm going so blank, dude. What you're saying is that the whole show revolves around bouncing like humor off the little kids. Yes. And when you don't see it, it's like there's just one creepy scene where he picks up like this invisible air that's like Photoshop moving around. And then he's like, what do you got to say about that? And she says some stuff and then like, they're all laughing. They're like, ah, she's funny. That girl is funny. But there's like nobody there

and there's no audio or it's just completely silence. The reason she was so like this because she was the sex object. Exactly. Zach was talking about, Zach was saying that he'd like to see the raw footage where it's just like, Rob will make a joke and be like, blah, blah, blah. And then like,

you'll hear the compressor of the article. Yeah, let's say, I'll let's say, I would say, I would see it. I would get the camera and just hear him be like, yeah, so my wife is Mexican. Yeah, and you hear like that little, you hear that little, dead silence. You hear that compressor going.

Yeah, here somebody like flushing the background noise cut in. Yeah. Just hear the real fucking audio. Or even just him, like, coughing, and then he's, like, repeating the joke like, no, no, no. Hold on, let me really do that one. Okay, we're gonna do that one again.

But his wife is the funniest part of the show. She's like, she's always, her tits are on every shot. And she's like, Rob, what are you want to do today? She talks like, she's like from Mexico, Mexican. I'm not being racist. I'm not being racist. The first shot of the first episode is them laying in bed, and there's a large spotlight above them.

And she's like, let me turn the light on. She turns the lamp on. Like, wait, the light wasn't on? That was supposed to be the dark room with a big fucking spotlight about it. I was like, holy shit. It's a perfect way to set the whole table in the show. Maybe they forgot to color crackers. No, because they, they color.

his eyes. His eyes are like this, the color of his water bottle. Sometimes he has like white stuff around his eyes too. He's like the worst thing is though the makeup, you can see where the makeup cuts off at his neck. No. Yes. No, it actually looks creepy. He looks at the corpse. That's the joke, right?

No. No, it's just real. And have you seen that one of the, like bizarre scene where he makes fun of the retarded guy as a mind? Yes, and like, he gets like punched in the face. There's no point. That show- I don't even get the joke of that. Does he ever get his come up and sir or no? He gets punched in one episode.

doesn't really matter but yeah there's a lot of scenes where you're like wait what just happened you have to rewind you're like why did that happen yeah what is the joke where you're like genuinely confused like there's no point we start making for no reason yeah he just goes oh duh it's like why did you do the guy the context is a retarded guy a mentally disabled guy walks up from he's never been this series before and rob immediately starts making fun of him for no reason that's pretty funny but you know it's just weird it's like wait it has nothing it's like it's like it's like it's fucking strange it's funny because it's like

that makes him look really bad But I think in his head he was like, oh, this would be likable. This is hilarious. This is relatable. I looked at his real stand-up that he does now. All of the jokes are about how he goes to Adam Sandler. He has one bit... Wait, wait, what?

How he was Adam Sandler? How he knows him. Oh. How he's like present with Adam Sandler. There was one bit where he was like, Adam Sandler, call me up and said, I'll let you do a little part for me. I was like, what's the line? He was like, you can do it.

And now look at me. Look how big I am now. That's not all. He's bragging. He never said that. He never said that. He never said that. Type it.

The Rob Schleader, you could do it. I swear to God. He's fucking deluded. And he brings it up several times in the real rock. He does. He knows Adam Sandler. He does. He sounds like such a piece of shit.

But anyways, the funniest part. He sits around with his like hot wife and just plays you can do it, compilations on his own. Hey, hi, shit this side. She's like, I've seen these rap. Look at it's really funny this part. But the funniest part about all of this, the chair on top is that I talk about it on Twitter. I didn't even tweet a Rob Schneider. I tweeted about the show.

I didn't type me to type in a real Rob, Rob Schleder, whatever. I think he, and that it was blocked. So pretty sure he types his own name on Twitter and fights people to get mad at and blocks them. What did you say about it? I said the show it's terrible. Oh. He's blocked me because of that. He seriously blocked you because of that?

I was actually heartbroken. To Trump block me, Rob Schlader blocked me? Well, all in the same like two days and three days. I am heartbroken. What did you say to Trump? Nothing! I never tweeted Trump before! Praise him. Oh, you know what happened?

I follow like that guy, T.J. The Amazing Atheist. Me too. Oh yeah. And he tweeted someone that he's like, I don't think I've ever met anyone not blocked by Steve Shives. I was like, who fuck is Steve Shives? and I clicked on his profile and I was blocked. He'll blocked you just for following TJ

because he absolutely hates TJ. But he's a... Who is Steve Schein? I don't know! He's a complete loser. Like, I don't even want to... No, he's a complete dunce. Like, I'm sorry.

What does he do? He's like a cuckold where he like... His fucking wife like fucking beats him and he keeps like saying how feminists are the greatest people. Really? Yeah, this is...

Remember when I opened up and I said like these people who like sell themselves to fendomists? They just give away their reality. They're just like, they're just like, I am a doormat. That's literally what they give up their... life and they become like the fucking the human toilet waste they always wanted to be

always saying right before that the real rob child was happening trump oh no you know yeah getting blocked Donald Trump the fucking presidential I can't believe the Republican nominee the real it's real it's real it seems like such a joke everybody so impossible jeb dropped out oh I yeah I saw it was on his Twitter did you see that thing I saw like the sad compilation of him it's so sad that's really yeah oh man was then like the please Please clap one. Yeah. And then there was that one tweet that he wrote, like, barely during the debate, I'm sorry, Mom.

Or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Which tweet a picture of his handgun that says Jeff Bush on it. And he wrote America. It's going to respond it and changed out Jeff Bush for, please clap. Do you see that video where his mom? Yeah.

You're talking about his mom? Yeah. Where he's like, I'm... It's really funny. Like, there's a recorded video where he's like with his mom with his arm around. He's like, well, my mom said today that I'm her favorite. Ha ha ha. She's like, no, I didn't.

No, no. She clearly, no. She was, she was you my favorite son. No, I didn't say that. Oh my god! Did you see the one which was like, you know, I might vote for you. He like runs over and hugs them really hard. Oh, the little turtles.

Yeah, the turtle was, that's a different video. There's like so many videos of Jebelish. I've been seeing compilations recently. I don't know if this got popular, but people are taking fucking Hillary Clinton and putting her in videos or people are like, you're a fucking horrible piece of shit. You're a dumb, stupid fucking broad. And she's just like, she's just like laughing and stuff.

She's been like, like, I agree. that and stuff. There was one picture I saw of Hillary Clinton when, I don't know if it was, if somebody photoshopped it or if it was just the angle, but there was somebody holding a sign that says like, I'm with Trump or something, and she's standing in front of the sign with like, she's like literally leaning in, eyes bulging, jaw drop, laughing. I know that picture. That is a Photoshop.

That is a photo. Yeah, yeah. It was just, because you see this person, it's like, ha! Is this just a new thing where like you put her in a compilation where she's laughing and then people like, make her? I ever recently heard about the Ursula. I noticed that I was watching. I was some CNN thing and they like posted like some town hall,

like just clips of, like 10 second clips of them. And they showed her a clip of Stephen Colbyter like yelling at her. And she's trying to like act like she's being a sport. She goes, ah ha ha! She laughs, she laughs identically to Ursula from the Little Mermaid. And I played the back to back. She sounds, no, she sounds the same. Yeah.

It's fucking disturbing. Zach, you know like those reptilian theories? With her, you almost want to believe it because she seems like an artificial human being. She seems like a robot. Yeah, like someone made her and thought that's what a human should be like. She is the best thing to happen to like all political parties. Everyone hates her of all political parties, Democrats, Republicans. Oh, I am so hateable.

I am so wrong. But if she's a lovely on the Democrats and Trump is lovely, Trump, Donald Trump, I see right now on the podcast. Donald Trump might be the president and there's a good chance of him in the family. The idea that he's on this far. Donald Trump will be the president. Oh, no. So you know in South Park when they were talking about like if McCain wine or Obama wine, we're going to move out of the country because America's going to implode on itself and die.

And that was the big joke, right? Oh, the president's really going to affect everything and the world's going to end. Dude, if Donald Trump is president. South Park has been right about a few things. It is so fucking insane to imagine. The host of Celebrity Apprentice should not ever have its fucking finger on the nuclear triad. Ever. Sorry, you go ahead.

I was just going to say, I really want to say that I have full confidence that he won't get it. because this is, like, I have faith in people, but I, like, no, he's really, he's really close. Let me just clear. Let me clear, let me clear by why it's scary. You know, like to get to fucking see it out here. But the two biggest things are Donald Trump gets a lot of the independent vote,

which is like what Bernie Sanders is stealing right now. So if it's just her, she loses a lot of the independent vote. But so she, he has all the Republican vote, or a good majority of it, a lot of the independent vote. And Democrats historically vote a lot less. So it wouldn't take more votes. It would take less votes for her. Like, I'm a Democrat, but I don't think I'd vote for her.

don't like her. So it would just take less people voting for her and a lot of people supporting him. That's all my time. I think it's scary enough just that he's this. Him on the, his fucking face, his orange face on the ballot is scary alone. You know what happened? Isis. And everyone was like, oh yeah, just scared. I'm scared. He never like answers a question. They're like, how would you defeat ICE? I would kill them so hard. They wouldn't see it coming. They'd be dead. That's what I was going to say. And nobody else is willing to say anything he doesn't believe he can do it. I believe he really thinks he can do it because he was raised rich, he, like he did well

for himself, obviously, but he's also had a couple failures here and there. Whenever he fails of anything, it's well documented that he, like, throws tantrums. The worst thing is it will isolate our country from the rest of the world. Yeah, the walls. He's all about walls and cutting people out. If he builds a big wall, I'll be saying. Yeah, he's going to build a big ball. With a big fat

door in the middle of it. I want that big Simpsons dome. Oh, no, a big beautiful door, right? Is that what he said? No, he said a big, fat, beautiful door. Yeah. Right in the middle. Big, beautiful door. His, the way he talks is fucking fascinating. Is this are big, dumb idiots. They're dumb, they're stupid, and frankly, they're retarded.

I'm going to wipe them out. Okay, let's... Let's get up. Just get off the Trump. Wait, can we just say one thing before we move on? Yeah. We all love Norm McDonald's. We all love...

No, hold on. Nor McDonald, if you ever watch his stuff? Go to just type in his name. You'll find a lot of good stuff. He's the funniest man in the world. Seriously, I think one of the top five funniest comedians. Definitely living, I would say, probably, of my friends. He just seems so relatable, too.

Like, I'd love to just have him in a room and just hang out and have some drinks. He just seems like... I'd be scared. What? You'd intimidate the... shit out of me. He's always seems like the guy who's just there, he never like, he never takes anything seriously. I guarantee he's soaking in every detail so he can fucking make you look like an idiot if you say one wrong thing. If it's any consolation though, like I like they're like five dollar like chicken box.

He, him is the colonel, he makes you laugh. Go ahead and buy the five dollars. It's just fucking ridiculous. That's what his name is, the colonel. Yeah. Oh, that's the chicken man. Yeah. Oh, you fucking maniac. The chicken man. We finally resolved it after all that's time. I couldn't think of the name so I just went with the most cook-gill food flavor out of my head.

Speaking of chicken and fast food, did you want to talk about those guys? Yes. I'm sure we all have a good topic on the, talk about this, but I also love looking at YouTube videos of like those food challenges, because a lot of those guys are just fucking obese lard asses who are like,

I think they think in their mind, like, if I do this alone, it's sad, but if I record this, I can just say it was for a challenge. It was like a hero. I think they order their food first and go, just turn the camera and just make it, you know, make themselves feel better.

But I say that one guy, what was the name, you remember what his name was? I forgot, you mean the brown man, this big brown buffalo man who eats Nutella? Yeah, wearing a Mickey Mouse hat. Ew! No, it was a different guy. It was a guy who's like, I'm gonna go ahead and do this chicken order challenge. Oh, the guy you linked me?

Yeah, a lot of those guys, most people will add music in Tidelap seat, there was none of that. It was just like white ways, would. And him grunting. I used to do this thing on my YouTube channel in 2000, like, it was like, can you stand this video challenge? thing and it was for like my, the old side I used to run. And there was this one video of a guy who was eating, he was eating fucking Tostito's Pizza Rolls. And he was just like, it was the most disgusting

fucking sound. Yeah, you were just like, huh, no, she was like right against the mic, and it was like, 15 minutes. It sounds like they're doing like a shred of their own video. Like, you know, normally there'd be some kind of moderately decent sound or some music or something,

then you erase it and then you just breathe heavily over it and it's like stupid sounds. I don't know how you could watch that, but like, and upload that. But yeah, there's a part, there's a part of the video when he's like, so it's like 20 minutes, there's no time lapse, no cutting, no editing. Like him going, huh. There's no point where he goes, it's gross. There's no point where he's so sad and his eyes go,

his eyes go catatonic, and he starts drooling. And he, like, he dies for one second. He gets back into it. One of the comments is like, what the fuck happened right there? And he's like, sorry, I burbs. It's the most fucking disgusting body. And he's completely serious throughout the entire thing. face is like he's doing an extreme sport.

Yeah, he looks like he's quasi-trait, he looks at 10-3. He looks like, the guy who... Yeah, his eyes like go like opposite directions, but just one second. That content is like more worthless than like professional let's play. It's just a fat guy eating his life away.

Like, you're watching, okay, so there's uh, let's play is what you're like, people can watch, people play games and shit, right? Like, that that's fine, right? And then there's people who do reaction videos and that's just like... Watch the way. That's watching. That's used. That's completely useless, right?

But then you're watching someone to enjoy food. that you can't taste. There's like literally no point. He's not even enjoy it. And the fucked up thing is if you watch his videos, he never gets to the goal. So there's no point that up with you. You're just always like, oh, we get seven of that of 10 cheeseburgers and one bit, I'm a fucking failure. And he turns out.

And he's with his friend. He brings his friend over with another fat fuck. And they both ordered like this fucking huge box from Taco Bell. You always see that one. And they'll unpack it together and start eating it. That's fucking... I remember this video. I don't know this video.

Why did people watch that? This video where my friends used to send around it because they said it looked like, I don't know if they were sending it to Bromo. They were like, he's your cousin, right? And it was just this guy who was sitting down and he's like, his dad's the other room. He's like, look at my taste.

I'm such a fat fuck. And he's like, Dad, I'm going to drink the gravy because he had a fucking gravy label of him. And his dad's like, you're a fucking disgrace to the other room. And he's like pouring the gravy in his mouth. He's like, he gets up and he says, all right, deal with this fucking shit. He goes up and grabs the layer and throws it down.

He's like, get the fuck out of my house. And then he went to... He went to sit down again. He's like... He kept going and fucking trying to grab the gravy. You imagine being his dad in the next room listening to him? Because he's like, his dad's trying to help him. He's like, he's like, I'm so fat.

He's like, you're embarrassed. You're going to look back at this and be like, wow, I'm fucking fat. You're fucking fat. He comes saying that to him. And he's like really like... Like, if you're pouring gravy into your mouth, there's a problem. If you're grabbing your titties and drink a gravy in front of your dad, yeah, you got a problem.

No, it's like his dad's thing on the couch, like fucking doing this in his finger. You can see him in the background. I love those videos just in general. People like having mental breakdowns and their parents are the bat and just like watching TV. I remember I saw this one of the people with the fat, he's like, I am not a damn furry. The dad's watching football at the fucking swing behind that. You can see his fucking thumb hat over the couch. You can see dad's fucking like protein chins back there.

Exactly. to go to his fucking failure of his son. Have you ever seen the one guy who does... Like, he's, like, brown. He's fat and brown. I see that guy. He's a Nutella talent. Yeah, and he puts his arms behind his back and start eating it.

And, like, he comes up and gets, like, tears in his eyes. And it looks like he's eating shit. Like, they're having brown stuff, smeared all over his face. And it's just, it's, like, probably one of the most disgusting videos. Is he probably because he's sad or because he's in his eyes? I don't know, because he's, like, you know, like, in crocodiles, they try to swallow and they get tears. Dude, that sounds like, like, we're like, bitch.

It's like a dorn, yeah. I feel like these, like, eating things, the only people who go to them are people who are like, yeah, eat fucking chicken meals. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like, what audience is that? Someone's like, the only, the only slight ways I get it. It's like, I'm going to eat like this whole thing of cinnamon in 30 seconds. Like some big jack guy.

But then they don't do it too. Yeah, they never do it. So I'm going to drink milk and eat this coffee here. And then they do it. They always fail and they, but it was like a big buff guy doing a challenge. I get it. But it's like some, no editing back guy like kill himself. Oh, yeah.

What's that one guy? Yeah. His name's like, um. Oh, he eats like bars of soap and? Like super Pete or something like that? No, no. No, no. He's actually like super buff.

Oh, shoe nice, yeah. No, no. The guy, he's actually like super buff. I think he's like buffed or something like that. It's not nice Peter. That's the fucking epic rap battle. He's like this guy. Yeah,

he's fucking built and he just does a bunch of stupid shit. And then like he'll make vlogs when they fuck him up. Because he ate like a bunch of like stuff that I think he ate a bunch of cinnamon. Like he actually ate the cinnamon. And then he made vlogs where he's like, yeah, it's a really bad idea. Um, the cinnamon like dried up the inside of my esophagus. And I had to drink water for 30 minutes and I don't want. want to do it ever again.

But then before he's like this, he's like doing it and you can't tell, but he makes vlogs afterwards if they fuck him up. So I was like, why would you do that? It was like, you're just like, okay, I'm gonna put Mentos in a Coke and drink and hope I don't fucking choke. I love that. What surprises me more than the people making the videos is the fact that there are audiences for these videos.

Yeah. I watch it out of morbid curiosity to see how somebody can do something like that. Like the Cinnamon Challenge sucks and watching someone try and actually and successfully swallow cinnamon. Yeah, see, those are, you get, you know, they're going to do something. But watching somebody like 10 fucking chicken sandwiches with McDonald's is just sad. And not succeed. They don't succeed. That is not succeed.

You've got like, yeah, it's like that's the thing on top of everything else. All you did was watch somebody fail and stuff their face and embarrassed themselves. They still ate seven chicken sandwiches for McDonald's, but they didn't, they didn't do anything right. All they did was eat seven chicken sandwiches. Pretty sure I saw one of those videos years ago and I always laughed thinking about it. Or is this the guy's like, I want to do like 50 chicken popper show and like, I gotta see the... And then he gets to like,

25 was like, mm-hmm. But see, if they puke or something, then there's like something crazy. If they just admit defeat and turn off the camera. No, this guy specifically that I thought all he does is he like breathes heavily

and fucking readjust his shirt. Like his chairs is cracking. It's like the same as being like, I'm going to show you how to do this sheet in Super Mario. Yeah, and then it doesn't work. And then you're like, what did I just spend all this time doing?

It's like, and then he turns it off and you're like, why is that on the internet? Yeah. If we're talking about Shoe-Nice... Unless you pukechern you're showing you code in which point, you know, there's some value. If we're talking about shoe nice, there's a video where he goes in the park with this, like, homeless woman, and he has, like, two cheeseburgers, and he gives her one cheeseburger, and he's like, I'm shoe nice. And then he eats the fucking burger in front of her, and she just looks in him like he's a disgusting thing.

She's just, like, looking at him, like, disgusted. And then he's like, thank you for her. And then, but she doesn't even want it. She's, like, holding it down lower. Wait, why did he get her involved? Because she's homeless, so he could. He's just a freak, dude. He's, like, he, like, has, like, drug binges.

And then he tries to make, like, terrible shows. And he's like, I need your money. And then he just openly says, I spent it all. It's weird. I was watching stuff because, Corey, you leaked it back like in 2011 or 10 or something. Back when he was like, he has a wiping kid. He used to live with them. If you watch videos from the start, he's like, hey, guys, let me shoe nice.

And he, like, then his wife peeks him out to the garage. And then he moves out. And you can watch his life degrade slowly. Yeah. There was this one point where he was so low in the barrel where he was, like, he was in a room where there was a blanket over his head. Like, he had a fucking, like, a child's fort was over him. And he's like, I want to make a show.

It's because he was like high or something. He's like, I'm sorry, I'm high, but it's going to be a can of soda and a petri dish going adventures or something like that. He's like, and I need your help. I need $300 immediately. It was, that was whenever he was like, he was like, the lowest of the world. The lowest of the world. The lowest of the money for more drugs. Exactly, the exact amount for like the fucking, yeah, the weekend amount of fek and heroin.

And at that point, I was like, all right, buy it. Sorry forever. See you later. Oh, man. I have an interesting story that happened. Oh, do you have a story? I've got a story. Do you have an interesting story?

We've told our fair show of drunk stories on the podcast, but I think this one even tops myself, which is fun to believe. So, about a week ago, you know, as we do, Nikki and I, it's one of the people, a few other artists, decided to go out and drinking, not the bad part. You usually say as we do. As we do, as we do drink. Not the bad part, but started a few drinks,

decided to have a few more drinks, and this is where things got bad. I'll cut the drinking part out because that we just drank. Nicky was like, let me go back home. I feel tired. I was like, all right, get up my keys to my apartment, which is this one here. She walks back, she leaves. I stay behind for a little longer with John.

We drink a little more. We decided to leave. We go. We walk back to his place. Nikki is lost. So she walked back to the other two people there, back to John's place, left, tried to find the bar that she left, to come back to the bar, got lost one block from here. John Savi-on.

He's like, okay, don't leave him. I'll be right back. This is the only part of blacked out of it, but I don't remember him saying that. I came too, and I decided to walk back to my place. The fact that I got back at all is a miracle. I walked back.

That's your instinct. Yeah, from John's place to my place. I walk back. Those two go back to his place. They assume I'm going to come back there or that I was walking somewhere. I walked back here. I think Nikki's here because I don't realize

she was lost. She has my keys. I walk back to my lobby, like four, maybe, probably 6 a.m. I'm buzzing my own fucking building, my own door for probably, to me, I thought it was 30 minutes,

and then I realized the time was probably a little longer than that. Yeah, no, it was probably five minutes. I'm very, very drunk. To the point where I did blackout for like 10 minutes, but I'm not wasted anymore. I'm kind of coming to a little bit. Buzzy, buzzing my door.

I puked from the lack of water in the fucking lobby everywhere hurled. This is the hour people started going to work. I don't remember to see anybody, but I'm pretty sure somebody saw me because the police came. I don't think I was, I would always be disturbing. I always being loud. But I think someone saw me puke and they're like, oh, this kind of puked. This bald cop and his partner bring me out,

they're like, sir, have you had some drinks tonight? I was like, yeah, I have. and my girlfriend's up there, she's sleeping. And she won't be, I think she's sleeping. That's what I thought. She has my keys, and they're like, yeah, where are your keys? I was like, she has them. And they said, where's your phone?

I was like, oh, it's right. Didn't have my phone. I was like, uh, it sounds like a lie, but really, my phone's not with me. She has my phone and my keys. He has them. I live right here. Here's my address. Here's my license.

Here it is. I live here. Please just let me in the building. I'll go from my room and go to sleep. I just want to sleep. I said that. And they said, sir, I don't believe you live here. Because I haven't got my license update yet, so it still says Kansas on it.

So he thought I was just some fucking crazy drunk who wandered in puked in some lobby. And I was like, I was like, fine, my friends just is right there. Let me go there. They're like, so I don't think you should. They're like, you're like, you're saying that yet, by the way. Your girlfriend lives here, she's outlaw and she sounds like she's pissed off at you. Did you hurt it? I was like, hold on.

I was like, hold on. You're raped her? Did you murder? Maybe she's not answered because she's dead. They would. They were in city. Did you like hit her? Did you like hit her?

Did you like the best Twitter drama ever? They were like in security Like rapes and martyrs They were saying I beat her Like killed her I was like I was like kind of like

drunk But I was like hold on hold on And they're like You know what we're gonna do We're gonna call an ambulance I was like listen I've been to this before I do not have insurance

If you get an ambulance here I will not go in it Not to be resisting I respect the police greatly And I said all of these things I swear to God I'm not just I'm not just saying I'm not just saying this

I am not just saying this From my perspective To make myself I will tell you everything that I did I will pay myself I will link the Holy Bible Do you swear to crack crack go touch one? I swear to Jesus on crackers.

It does. So I literally said because I do believe genuinely that police, overall, good police get a bad rap. And I said like, look, you know, you guys have a hard job. I get it. You guys are just doing your job here, right? I'm so drunk guy, I'll have without my keys and without my phone. I get it. Oh, there's the fucked up.

I said, can you call my phone for me? Please, I gave my phone number. They're like, we're not going to do that, sir. We're not going to. I was like, if you call my phone, you can probably, or if you can make me from my friend's house, like we can knock in the door or something. No, didn't do it. So I said, like, I do not have insurance.

If you take me to the hospital, I will not pay the insurance, I will not pay the bill because I cannot have paid the bill. Please do not do that. I just want to go to bed. And like I said, I said, like, look, I get you guys, I get you guys, I respect the police, represent NYPD. I bet you said all of that, too. I was going on a way to be very courteous. And they said, sir, do not be, they start getting more students. Said, sir, do not be difficult.

Get the goddamn ambulance. And I was like, you don't understand. I do not have insurance. They said, I don't care. Get the ambulance. I talked to this on Twitter a little bit. I got, this is where things get complicated. I get the ambulance,

and that's right here. And the guy, the guy in the ambulance, I don't know if he was NYPD or if he was a medical worker. And I'll tell you why I don't know because of his behavior, if he was a fucking,

like EMT, I will be baffled. And I'll tell you why. So I have to believe he's like in NYPD who just works in the back of an ambulance. But he wasn't in uniform. So I get the ambulance and I was telling you this guy.

I was saying, listen, dude, yeah, I told those guys out of insurance. And you can please let me go. He said, sit down and shut the fuck up, sit right there. And I sat down and he said, move over, move over, move over, get to the back. And I was like, all right, I was like, don't be an asshole, dude. I said that, I was getting mad now.

And he was like, don't be fucking difficult with me. Don't get a fucking attitude with me. And I said, you know what I was a fucking attitude. I just want to get out of this ambulance. And he stood up, he said, don't be fucking difficult with me. And I said, I'll be difficult if you don't listen to me and let me tell you what I'm trying to say. He said, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm going to bash your fucking skull. And I said, do it.

Now, you know me, I'm not a tough guy. I was thinking, this guy, okay, what are the chances? This guy caves my fucking face. I go to the hospital. I don't know what happened. I have enough of a following line to cause a stoke and get this guy fired at least. I said, do it. What's your name?

You said, oh yeah, whatever. Whatever. You're a fucking guy. And as well, what's your name? What's your fucking name? He was like, yeah, whatever, whatever, whatever. So that was a highlight of night. As soon as he, as he caved and wouldn't, like,

Yeah, I was on the offensive. You were like, oh, wow, now you're fucked dude. I don't tell you my name. I was like, oh, you don't. Okay, bash my fucking face. face and see what happens. So he used all of his coming out and he had no more cards to play. And I blocked that. And I was, I was, you know, my job is he's like, what's your fucking job? Why this guy? I was like, oh, please get you on. I said, I know your fucking stupid

face. I'm going to draw your ass when I get out of here. I'm going to get you fired, which is, I can draw all my stuff. I still know what he looks like, but it's kind of a half lie. Right. So I go to, they take me to the hospital. They walk out. They walk me in the hospital. They put me in a fucking bed. They leave. I told everybody along the way that I did not have I'm sure it's that I did not be there, which I'm pretty sure it's illegal. Because I was drunk, but I was not wasted. I was like I would be now if I had a few years ago. Did they ever breathalize you?

No. Oh, right? So right there already, they had no legal proof of anything. All they had was what they saw with their eyes. Right. And so... Hold on. The fact that they would even...

This is already so much are. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure it is not legal if somebody refuses medical service. Yeah. And they're lucid enough to recognize... If I was like, uh, fine. I'll tell you for sure. I know for a fact, cops are not allowed to medically die.

diagnosis of person. No, no, no. Especially if they don't breath the lies you to at least have a medical record of how drunk you are to then justify you having to do something. I told my phone number. They refused to call my phone. I told them, my address had told them, I told them everything. I laid out the whole night for him.

They asked for her name. I gave her name her everything. Why did you get their bios numbers and shit? I was too drunk to get it. So here's the thing. I was drunk but I was not wasted. But in my mind, I was just, I was thinking, okay, I need to get myself in it. So I only really started to be on the pit of when I got the ambulance and they slaved the door.

said he was gonna smash my fucking skull. That's when I really started like, okay, this is fucked up here. So I took me to the hospital and they put me in this back room. They forced me, I just would leave. They forced me to do with Jujeril and like yogurt. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, but like, you know when you got to the hospital and the ambulance door open, could you not have just made me run for it? They would have probably tied. I would have probably been arrested. Did the cops follow? Or was it just the guy in the back? They led me by my arm and I was like,

I don't want to be the asshole who's like, I have my rights! You know, I don't be those guys. They were literally on you to the door of the hospital. They weren't like guiding, but they weren't like pushing me, but they guided me, but they guided you to the ambulance. The ambulance drove you to the hospital. Then the door of the ambulance open, could you not have ran? It was like super far away from where I was.

I know, but you could have like ran between buildings and lost them or something. I did not want to avoid the police. They would attack on me. But they weren't there. My point, well, somebody would attack me. I'm pretty sure that. I did why. The guy you wanted to bash his face.

I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew. I was like, okay. Here's my point.

If I run away, then they have a reason to be to fucking hurt me and be rough. Then they can smash my face to the concrete be assholes. So, and I told the nurse, I said, Nurse, I will not pay the bill. I told the people that want to pay the bill, I'm not going to pay the bill. I will tear it up, I'm not going to pay the bill really good. Because I cannot afford it. I said I could afford it.

I don't want to be here. She's like, just drink you ginger ale, sir. And she said, I tried to sleep because it was like 7 a.m. At this point, or 8 a.m. I just wanted to fucking leave and get some sleep. And they were like, if you fall asleep, sir, you're going to feed her the whole day. I was like, all right, whatever.

Drake my ginger ale. They let me get dressed. Before I got dressed, I wiped my fucking ass on the benchies because I was so mad. It was that beautiful yellow shit, too. It was a brown. It was yellow. I got dressed. I got dressed with the most fucking sour expression of my face ever.

I took a cab from the fucking upper east side, holding my belt, fucking stumbling around, all the way to John's place. I buzzed the door. I walked in and screamed for probably, what, 15 minutes? Screamed straight. They're like, where were you? I pulled my sleeve down, and I showed the fucking fuck. They put a fall risk on bad job. Like, you know, it said fall risk.

Like, what fucking, fall. Fall risk? Like, he's gonna fall over and fucking break his face. They said, what were you, like, pull me down? I started screaming about what happened. And I fucking, I still have the little, the little suction cup marks on my, all of my fucking chest for the little notes they put on. And, uh, so that was my fucking night. It feels like, it feels like at some point, they have to have, like, a code at, like, that time of night for drunk people that they think are going to be trouble.

Yeah. The cops call it in. The cops call it into the EMT, like, hey, we got a 3-4-7, which is like, like, asshole. Then everyone from the, you know, from the fucking door of the building to the bed in the hospital, everyone's just going to treat you like you're a crazy asshole. But here's the, oh, the other thing too about the guy in the back of the, I was forgot the guy in the back of the ambulance. I was like, what's your fucking name? He's like, keep this up and I'll put you in the psych ward. I was like, dude, I fucking

deal you, you're such a pussy. I'm not a tough guy. I'm not, I'm seriously about trying to tell this in like, rush respect, like it was tough, but I know if he did anything, he's a professional, he can get fired. I was off a point. Who the fuck is going to fire me? I can say whatever I want, you know? And that sounds weird, but I mean, in this context. So I was like, fucking do it. Throw me the second one for two weeks. I dare you. On what, on what ground? Like they took him to bash my face him? Go ahead. So he was a huge asshole. He looked like the fucking the gay dad from American Beauty. The fucking the big military guy who like beats on his son. He had that kind of like haircut and face.

He's a big sour asshole. Did you end up? Whatever they gave me, I ripped it up. I haven't gotten the bill yet. I told me if they really would pay the bill. Yeah, it might take it like a month or something. Wait, did they ever get your address? I don't think so. Right, because they technically didn't even believe that you.

If they bill me for whatever it is, I will take it up to say. They can. They didn't even believe you lived here. Yeah. What would they even get your address? Yeah, I'm not gonna pay it. Oh, yeah. They have no evidence of you being drunk at all.

I mean, I puked, but that was not because I was so drunk. It was because I was locked in the lobby for fucking three hours of no water. I didn't know what to do. You know what to do but puke? Well, I puked because I was there for like two hours and he just got tired of I was like, dude, I want to go. What do you put for? You couldn't just walk outside and puke on the road?

I was just sick. I was just sick. I was just sick. So, so here's what I was not completely innocent. It was not some pedestrian walking tree, go. Right. lobby for hours. I wasn't being loud. I get why the police came. That part's fine. The part to get shitty is when they did not call my phone, which by the way, they had it. John and the

Guillermo else had my phone. They took it out of my pocket. See, this is the thing is that it could have been resolved at any few points. It's almost like they wanted to waste their time. They wanted they wanted something to do. Like, I think so. They were bored and they were like, you know, we got eight hours to kill today. Let's go fucking. But I just feel like I should clarify that like, I'm not this like fuck the pigs guy. I'm not either. No, I'm not like, I respect the state. I I respect the police doing their job. I was drunk. But the way the EMT,

or whatever the guy the ambulance was, I don't believe he was using EMT. There's no way that guy was a fucking, like, health professional if he threatened to bash my face. So there was no one else. Usually they have more than one person in the back. It was just one guy.

Also, with most, like, ambulance strips like that, as soon as you get in the back, the very first thing they're doing is taking your temperature. They're doing that. And they check your blood pressure. And especially if you've been puking

or if you look sick, they will have water as well. They just wanted to give me the hospital to get, like, to get, don't me. They, so I was really drunk at the beginning of night, but... Sounds like a fucking scam. Yeah, I was... Some fake cops got you into a fake ambulance to take you to some fake hospital where they fucking...

You should check if you got all your parts, buddy. They were probably hoping you were gonna pass out so they could take some... I've been trying everything, yeah, I've been trying everything. I even asked, they put my wallet in my jacket pocket. I was like, where the fucking water? You meant they took your kidney or something? Yeah, that's so... But it was just fucked up and like, I don't know, I was laying in bed, so fucking mad,

watching TV, watching some shitty soap opera on one mute. and they brought me, they brought me fucking a razor brand and I was like, I don't want to fucking a razor brand I want to go home to eat the razor brand You're lucky you have this I get really scared of like scammy places Because it's not like you have to be dumped To fall for a scam like in Thailand there's a scam

Where you can rent a car or bike And then they'll have someone from that building That works there, follow you and then like No, and like key your car So when you bring it back you gotta pay for it Oh Yeah, oh This city is...

I know New York during Halloween There's a lot of stories about like Back when I was in college There were some stories about the guys dressed as fire who'd come to Halloween, they'd be going around knocking on doors. And because a lot of people have Halloween parties or they're not home. But then, you know, there's people running around in costume, like, a stuff, but if you open the door and you were like a single female and you weren't at a party or whatever,

they'd come in and say they were, there was like a smoke thing or a gas thing, and they'd come into the apartment, they'd look around, because they'd come in as a duo of guys. And they'd come in and look around the apartment, and if they noticed that there was nobody to, you know, there's no witnesses or no roommates or whatever. Jesus, dude. That's weird. This is the first city I've really been where I've been, I've been scaled.

I've never been scammed here, but I've run into a lot more. There's, you know, I can't really smoke that much this building, but I tried to get cigars like a few weeks ago, and there's not a lot of places in the area, but I found this one place on my phone that said they sold them, and I went to this place, it was this little skinny, frail Indian man, and I was like, you guys have cigars, he was like, you guys, here's come back here, I take you.

And he was like, this one, like, regularly like a $7 cigar. I was like, how much for this one? Or no, no, it was like, $6, so I'll have two, whatever. He was like, okay, I give you four, for a deal. I was like, no, no, just two. He said, fun, I give you a good day. I was like, oh, you know, it's fine. What's the total?

$70. And I said, how much are those? He said, $20 each. Like, he, what the math was that four of them should have been. 80. So he's giving you $10 discount. And I was like, no. I was like, I just asked for two.

He's like, okay, three. I was like, you know what? I was like, you know what I have a none. And I was like, I'm normally a nice person. I never had to like beat that me to somebody. But I was like, you know, I said, you know, I'm done. I'm not buying you from you. He said, he bang me.

He said, no, come back, come back, come back, back. I left. That was the first one ever had to really deal with somebody skinny between my face. That he fucking threw him at you for free. There was a few blocks away. It reminds me the time I went to a Renaissance fair with Aaron and Susie in L.A., and I went into a store, and I saw this kind of Indiana Jones looking hat that I thought looked really cool.

I was like, can I get this? And he started, like, doing the medieval haggling. And he was like, oh, I'll bring it down from like 70 to blah, blah, blah. And I was just like, no, I've only got like $20 a spare. Sorry, and he's just like, oh, 20, how about $30? And I was just like, no, I've only got. got 20 sorry and then he like he brought it all the way down to like 21 and I was just like okay 21 and I went to go borrow a dollar for somebody when I got back

it's like there's 21 dollars it's like you talk too long now it's 25 and I was like fuck oh my god I got like super mad I was like you're a fucking idiot and I like like left and then during the day I saw him again I was like there's that fucking kind he was being an asshole he's like fuck you you're so dumb you do that it was like I know it's like you're doing your b bitty But fuck you. Like yeah, you want to do that? Take it so far.

Don't be known as the fucking like Indian cigar swindler. It was fun though. At least he didn't like walk in the back and then they pulled a trap door and you fall in the place where pirates come and go to the shit. We're gonna real dragon walks that burned to the up. We got you shay on me. We got a fucking shoes, little Indian brothers can pull me apart. It's a bottom of the fucking cell.

It was actually the opposite happened to us when we went a school tour in Paris. We were under the Eiffel Tower and there was all these guys selling little laser pointers. He was like, yeah, man, they're like 25 euros or whatever. We're like, how about one euro? He was like, no man, fuck you. And he started walking away. We just stood there, not saying. He got like 20 yards.

He just stopped. And then came out, he was like, OK. It was so funny. It's like, we like robbed it. It's so desperate, man. You got robbed by a bunch of like 60-year Irish cons. Yeah, it's really said. Like in China, a lot of things could be sold for cents,

but because they think, like, all white people are they're gonna go for like, you know, they start super duper, duper high. But, you know, if you have to have them, if you can speak Chinese at all, then you can haggle them down and it get, I mean, it literally starts at like $30 and you walk away for 25 cents. Wow. What are they selling specifically that would go? It would be like communist paraphernalia, posters of Mao, stuff like that. So it's almost like, I have $20 and I am in China.

And this really is an authentic picture from like a Chinese newspaper of Mao. you know, $20, I could do it. It's probably going to eBay or something, right? But it's the fact that they probably have thousands of them. So if you can haggle them, they're just like, look, I'll take five of them for a buck. And they're like, because that's more money than they're going to fucking make it a week anyway. Just find them in the dumpster. But anytime they see, you just imagine that markup.

Anytime they have one tourist, it's like their fucking lottery. You know what I mean? Like, that's their month. It's like you cartoonishly think that all these places, they have like a switch they can pull more of the number. Oh, yeah. split back to like the higher price. Yeah. You see those in like shows and stuff. Sorry, I don't know, like you were saying that, but I want to like talk about the whole Shanghai thing. Yeah. Where have you ever seen like demos of like little kids and stuff with their parents down watching that stuff?

Where they like explain like the people fall here and you see like little kids reactions to like fucking these like dummy body slamming down and like the fucking like a... What the fuck are you talking about? Wait, what? Shane high and then falling off of thing? There's like, you know, like tours of people that are walking with their kids. Yeah. And their parents. Yeah. And they like show what happens where they like show a body falling. It's like the same reaction to like when you fucking like scare a little baby, they're like they like jolt back and start laughing.

Yeah. It's the same thing happens like little kids. Who's falling? Why are they falling? To demonstrate what happens when you get a drunk person to fall through a trap fucking door. What does this have to do with Shanghai? That's what Shanehye is. What? What?

The fuck? No, no, no, no, no. They get people drunk and they go near a fucking trap door where they fall and get taken aboard a ship for no pay. Yes, yes, okay, that, yes, Shay-Hy is when you get, is a lot of times they'll get you drunk, steal you, and make you like a slave labor on a boat somewhere. Yes, but some places have trapped doors where people would fall. And they have walking tours where they can scare their kids with bodies. Yes, trapped doors. They're like, and here's where a trapdoor and they show like a fucking dead body falls.

This is like a new like pinnacle of stupid for you. What do you mean? No, heard of this. I think, I think it's real. It's not that it's the connections that are being made. being made. It's like connect the dots literally we're just getting eight dots just right across. Coy's by the fucking the window from a beautiful mind right now just a huge fucking crazy. Corey's mind is like you have an entire map. It's like it's like the it's

what they show you. I know what I'm saying. No it's like the word. I don't mean yours still but I mean the idea where they like where they fold the paper and then push the pen through the paper and they're like see as far as there's like two ideas on opposite sides of the universe you just fold the universe and half and boom those ideas are now. I have a very specific thing. I see when I see it in my head. I can tell. It's not, it's not, it's more so genius, but it's such a crazy idea. So wait, where would you, where would this occur?

What's the city, a place, a bar, location? I am. Okay, in Europe, it's like a ghost tour, is this a pirate tour? It's a... No, it's a tour of like old times, like old time and like... Old-time and tell, okay. Are you still talking to the bar? Yes.

Is this actually real? Yes. This is real. There would be, like, seductive women who would come and get people drunk and make them stand in a corner and they would fall and, and like, They wouldn't break their legs, but there'd be people down there to shackle them and keep them there. This is so crazy. The pirates come and take them bored.

You know, you wanna talk about crazy. I went to the fucking, what was it, the Tower of London? That shit was fucking crazy. They're fucking like shoving people and holes and... Put you in pizza boxes. Yeah, and there was the glass rod up your dick hole and then smashing it. All sorts of weird shit that they did. People are fucking gross.

But see, I'm right. I'm sorry. Cory, it just sounded so dumb the way you said it. Have you ever seen someone fall in a trap door and lay on any other? I thought you were describing the fucking plot of that one musical, Sweetie Todd. The way you said it was like, there's pirate ships where they put you on it and they'll make you fall through and get Shanghai as a tourist attraction for children. I never said that. That's what I heard. I said they would put you on the ship from falling to a tripod.

That's why it sounded so crazy to me. There's like a fucking amusement park attractions on a fucking... It's like a fucking favorite trip. I literally... This is my idea of what you said. I thought you said that people get led away from civilization onto a ship where they fall through a trapdoor and then there's like a kid in front of glass looking through like That's nonsense

You're like You're like Pants are like pointing at that guy you That could be you This is that like European bars in the 40s and 30s Maybe my brain turned off for like one second and I just missed out That would be the think of being a pirate in that situation

Fall under the desk basically kids fucking poking They're going to the fuck they all of peg legs They're being dropped in through fucking jabs. It's like kids slapping on the glass. Like fucking chips? I thought Shanghai was just a general term for getting like scammed. It's for getting kidnapped. Oh.

Yeah. Stupid. I just said they're like the Steve Bowl episode where he's like, give me two sixes. What are you trying to shame on you? Does it be fucking sense? It's been domesticated and watered down to being scammed. To be fucked over, yeah. But it was initially, because that is kind of fucking over somebody.

Yeah. You know, getting them drunk, and fucking throw them down a trap tour, making kids look at, watch them, and then fucking cart them off on their ship. That kind of sucks. That's kind of a scam. Jesus.

Zach, it was so great for, it was so great to see you again. It's been a while. It's great to be back. You should come down and hang out. Are you coming down for Pico Dan? Yes, absolutely. Can we please record?

Are you going to be down for a little bit? I'll probably see it for a couple days. Are you going to have Nikki Tune come down? Yeah. Sweet. So you guys are going to be around for a while. We're going to record a couple of podcasts. Yeah, we're going to.

We should grab some guests. Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, yeah. Harry, Harry, yeah, that would be great. But that's in a while. We're gonna have a couple of guys in for them. Yeah, this is not a rare event. Before we wrap up today though, I was curious. One of our favorite things, Zach, that you bring to the table,

the fans are always watering at the mouth for, touching themselves. They're always waiting for one of Zach's hypotheticals. Hypothetical. My brain's- My brain's a little bit tired, but I'll try to... Oh, God, damn it! God, damn it! God, damn it!

What are the time on? That was literally God fucking guiding his finger under my bottle of, how the fuck did that happen? Okay, for all the viewers, Zach just accidentally threw something into his coffee. No, no, that's not what happened. I took a bottle cap and threw it at the table and bounced off the fucking water bottle and into my coffee. That is a one in a billion chance. Not really? Oh, God, fucking.

Look, it's inconvenient. It's not like you fucking threw a bottle cap and cut Corey's head off with a propelled. Corey's head off with a propeller. Put somebody ass-law, though. No. Okay, that's-capping my asshole off, turns would fall out. It's like, it. It's like, too, hypothetical.

Okay. Would you rather have Zach do a hypothetical or Corey do a hypothetical? Oh, man. My hypotheticals are just nonsense and dreary. Okay, I really... Did you just say, what, wait, hold on. Hold on, hold on. What was that second last word?

Drury. Nonsense and dreary. Yeah. Okay. Those are the two words I would use to describe Corey's mind. Nogess and dreary. Centrary. It sounds like a really bad English pub.

I like to imagine Corey's body as a fucking vessel at waste native screams at how... Just with little... Alright, here's my... Here's a topic. Trump becomes president. Cory, would you rather? No, I'm running against Trump. No, Corey, here's your hypothetical,

you're sitting there on your computer, sitting there laughing, watching some great funny Slender Man, Sunderbara videos. Just laughing that up, having a good time. You're watching Ender Bra beats Sonic the XD Hog. All right? And you're having a gay old time, right? Gail time, right? Yeah, I'm shaking.

Cory, Sonic comes in behind you. He starts massaging your shoulders and kissing your neck. Corey, I've noticed you haven't been watching my stuff as much. I noticed you've been watching more Tails videos. Cory, does Tails the Hedgehogs? Does Tails the Hedg-C? My brain is nothing right now. My brain is liquid.

Dude, over- I know you're basing that Sonic kissing off that picture you shared. Is that the Sonic and Mario make-out scene? It looked like Muppets? It looks like Muppets. It's like direct like... There was like five or six frames of just the back of Mario shirt The white brother's mouth is like

The funniest shit ever It's gotta like a big fucking like I like the slam on the bag Oh yeah Was that rotoscope? I don't know it was yes I think it had to be one of the way it was done it was drawn it was definitely drawn because the way the back didn't move it was yeah moved so realistically the fucking the dedication to doing that frame by frame like on paper with crayons is fucking beautiful.

That was taken hours. They hold a paper up to a porno and just fucking color who was like. Okay, Corey, I got one. Corey, you're at a party. You're grunted like a fucking ape, like that. All the stars are there. You got I Justine. You got Freddie W.

You got Fred. He walks over to you and gets the fucking out of here and talk to you. You feel a tap on your shoulder. You see Rob Schneider pulling his pockets inside out. He's like, Corey, could you please spare a dollar? dollar I want to fun season two of real rob and corin guess what you can be my hot new Mexican wife I can show you a hot little pussy in it core every episode your hot little fucking pussy can be flashed for at least five frames will you do it for free do it

like start in a Rob Schneider if you give me money Corey you could be you could be the star of Rob Shrudeau you get credit you get exposure you get exposure you get that Schneider exposure be the voice of Norman of the Norr Cory Corey you can be Norman of the Norrie Corey Corey you can be Norman of the Cory Cory Corey keep this under wraps you know I know I know I know I I'm saying there's no big deal, but let me tell you something. North, too, and real rob, we're having a crossover.

And I want you to be the voice of you can do it guy. All you can, but you have to right now, give me an addition of a perfect you can do it right now or else, but if you don't do it right, you're not going to be in the norm of crossover. Hypothetically, the situation only leads me to say one there. Hey, sir, so can we shut your fucking mouth and just do the damn funny line that I thought of by the way?

You can do it. So you can do it. I do it better than you, obviously. I'll let you try. I'm tired up with all this other stuff I'm doing. I'm tied up with my wife's hot little fucking underage pussy. She's legal Mexico, Corey, so stop asking. Hey, I got a question.

I'm trying to think of the situation I would do. I probably, first of all, I would laugh because I'd be wasted. You'd be like, Corey, do you really think, Duce Bogle 2 is that funny? Damn, if you want to psych up is so bad, I'll give it to you. I guess I have one right here you can have. I'd be like, listen, I thought you were funny and hot chick.

I thought you were okay in the animal. I thought Just Biggle 2 suck the big one. Hey, Chloe, how dare you say that? And I would also say, like, Norm of the North is a fucking boring house. Do you think he's one of those guys, if you walked up to him and you said, and you told him, you like it sucks. I didn't think the funny... No, no, no. If you had a conversation with Rob Snyder and you were like,

and he was like, no, no, no, I really want to know what you think of my movies. And you said, Duce Bigelow, yeah, man, I thought it kind of sucked. I would do. Do you think he's the kind of person, be like, oh, yeah? Do you have much money you made? No, I did that? He did that. You know what I would do? Oh. If you know, if he asked me what I thought of this movie, I would burp in his face.

Corey, here's the movie. That is literally, though, the scene from extras when he had Ben Stiller on the set. And then he was like, did you see fucking Scarsie and Hutch or whatever the fuck it was? And he started talking about how he made out with Cameron Diaz. That's ridiculous. He's a human cartoon. Yeah. Rufferin, he really is.

What type of Ropshed and interview is. I probably just, I got a different one. This was for you, Chris. Same scenario basically. Rufford walks up to you. Fucking pushes you. Turn it up. Turn it up, pussy.

Face your fingers. What's wrong? I'd be like... I'd be like... I'd be sticking up math class, little pussy bitch. By the way, hey, shut up. Touch your fucking mouth, you little bitch. You call those titties?

And you know when that's something else? Yeah, I made over the door. I grabbed him by the throat and grossed $5 million. I grabbed him by the throw and lift him off the floor because he's like five foot nothing. Yeah, he just pick him up by his head. Pick him up by his weird, like, owl head. His legs would be running in midair.

He's got that, like, wispy owl hair, so you can, like, grab him by that. He's got, like, cripekeeper head. I feel like you could pull his, like, the kank face off. He'll heal the fucking robot underneath. He's like that guy from midnight black. He's literally just, like, to me, he's... Got a little Mexican alien living inside his.

He's not even- He's not worth the conversation. He's just like he's do that's not cool and either like a good or a bad way He's so hold on I would set you see norm of the doors like 100% At the end of the door when they said global is that real. I was that one says you can do it No he doesn't no he doesn't no he doesn't no no no no no no they did not go with the poor bear they did not say that in the movie he did they did not at the end of the door of the door he says you can't do it no no no I mean No, that didn't happen. No, it didn't. I'm talking about the global warming thing.

He says, global warming is real, but you know something you can end it? If you can do it, buy my DVD. Is he like anti-vax or something? Yeah, he's like, anti-vaccination. He's a fucking idiot. That's what I was about to say. He's like, hey guys. I'd be like, the only way I would do that is if my character could be a living vaccination.

So that I would be like, but no, that causes autism. I can't spread the-man. There's a weird part happened to the movie where Northern North gets a vaccine. He turns autistic. He's really fucked up. And Rob Schneider walks on screen like black and white, he's like, listen, you will get autism, can vaccinate your kids. If you're making a show about yourself and you're painting yourself, it's such a great light. Like, you've clearly lost all humanity at that point.

He's not human. He's just like a fucking, like, robot. And that's why it's like the real rob. It's like the real robot. It's more like reptiles. So it's more like reptiles. So what you're saying is the fact that he's anti-VAC and clearly has autism proves his point is wrong. No, it proves he's right.

You get vaccines him. He thinks that Norman was a waste of time. No, but that's what he's against. Oh, is this like a revenge back? He thinks they give you autism. You know, you know, when people are like, I took my five-year-old baby, and she was fired, I took her to get a vaccine, you got autism. Maybe that's not happened to Rob Schneider like 15 years ago.

Oh, you think that's, oh. He got like a flu vaccine. He just became autistic. Every, every vaccine. The doctor's like, that'll be $1,000. Guys, what's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?

It's not what autistic people do. Rush that, what's wrong? You autistic, you little bitch? Yeah, that vaccine was one full dose of autism. He felt for it. No, it's because Adam Sandler convinced him to get a fucking vaccination back in the date, and then he turned autistic, and Adam Sandler's been

trying to make up for his mistakes ever since by putting it in his rumors. No, it's because he went to a fucking Mexican vaccination store. It's just, like, filled it with santa. You know what? It's just put gravel in and fucking injected. The war and autism. The war and autism lost all meaning. The blood clad is.

It doesn't mean, it doesn't mean what, like, people say it means anymore. I imagine. probably think so yeah it's really yeah like isn't it doesn't it doesn't it just mean that you can't read social cues and that's that's pretty pretty much I but what I understand it's like it's like there are levels of it though which kind of me kind of makes me feel like everyone is autistic in some way if you want to talk about social cues yeah because it's funny situations I think it's social cues and like emotional like like sympathy like

like sympathy levels of like understanding basically so it's like if you see like a dead dog and you're like you still understanding like a sociopath or like a 99.9% of the time on the internet when you see the word autistic They're not meaning it in that way. You're just saying you're stupid. Yeah, it's just an easier. But it's interesting because in some ways if you want to talk about like, oh, you can't read social cues or whatever, it's like, if I don't like somebody, it's rare, but if I don't like somebody and I see them getting upset on film or something, I literally will just deadpan it. I will, my heart, it's just like fucking static, you know, going into my head.

If you were to gauge me at that moment, you'd be like, you have a problem. You were watching somebody confess their greatest fears and showcase their heart and you do not give a shit. Yeah, that's true. I think it's like on different levels. Like a lot of people who watch My Little Pony are like, I like it because people with me autistic, they like it because- No, but they also say they like learn morals,

like, I didn't realize you weren't supposed to put it on your mom. They don't just learn morals, they learn like social cues. That's what I'm saying. It's like, it's like, when you spit on your friend, they might like like you anymore. It's like, oh. Yeah, that's true, but it's like also like spinning up the same stuff we've heard for years from like veggie tails and shit

like to share and be kind to your neighbors. It's like, oh, they taught me this, I learned this. It's like why because the colors are more pretty? The word like autistic replaced the word Tired kind of yeah kind of much yeah idiots it's deluded into that it's got its following it's got a really good ring to it it's like that's why it's also being You can say you can say you're an autism you're an autistic like you're fuck is like stabbing and yeah Tistic is like oh hard burns fucking autistic retar yeah Asperger's is gonna set anybody off but I Sperger's doesn't sound like an insult it doesn't you assburger if you go

You're an assperger that sounds like more like you're a weener Because the Spurge got that ring to it. For Spurge or Spurger? That doesn't sound like an insult to me. Is that like that short for Asperger? Yeah, you Spurge. If you put a fucking Spurge, you have a little bit of stat to it. It's like when you say LSD, you fucking L-D.

What? Like learning disability. Oh, okay. If you say you're a fucking L-D. That fucking new P-O-C, you Pock, that sounds like such an insult. Like, you fucking person. It sounds worse than- Oh, oh, that's what that is. N-word.

You fucking P-P-K. So they got Pock and P-S. P-S. What's P-P-O-S? Siss? Siss? Sounds like... Yeah, cis.

Why would you want to have that it's fucking sys? It's fucking suss. That sounds like siss. Like, they're fucking disgusting pulsations thing on your... I think they got sick. I've ever been like, you're gay. And I'm like, we need a word that sounds mean too. Ciss.

Yeah. I like you're doing the word dunce. You're fucking dunts. You fucking dunts. See, I feel like bringing back old words. I like, I think like that works really well. I like calling somebody a fucking buffoon. Yeah, yeah.

See, that's another oldie. And coming back. Trump to me is a fucking buffoon. That's how I see it. And I think... Because he's not so much that he's just like, this like big Hulk and idiot. He's just so to say. He's a buffoon.

I like this. The word, see these words, the old ones, I think are coming back. I like Dolt. Delt. Dude. You idiot. I love Dolt, too.

It's got such good. I've always said like... You know, it's just like, boom, boob. I've always said like if somebody calls you a fucking retire, they're almost always joking, but someone's bad at you and call you fucking idiot. Yeah. It also all depends on how you say. It's like, you fucking retard.

You're a bitch. It's like, no. You fucking bitch. It's like oh my place like the word of retarded it's just like you're fucking retard it's like okay you have fucking but you fucking idiot. Yeah Idiot I think is a great that's a real one that's a real one that you don't fuck really you're not kidding anymore when you tell your friend you are an idiot You're really fucked up. My mom is they hate the word imbecile But if you can use it right like you're fucking you're an imbecile. Yeah I think if I think if I You were gonna whip it out with the friend you would be it wouldn't be nearly as impactful but I do think you would mean it you would have to mean it saying a word like that it's just like that it's just like that it's like You fucking...

The other one is, and I... And it is a stupid one, but I personally like saying it is if somebody really pisses me off, especially if they're an adult who prize themselves on being a fucking adult, I call them a child.

Yes! I'm like, you are a fucking child. You say that to a 55-year-old grown man who's really fucked with you, and you feel like a champ. Because you just watch them, they just start quivering.

They're like, what? You know, especially if they have children of their own, and they just don't, they can't grasp that. I say that too. Freak is good. If you're like an adult love it up, you feel like an adult.

Yeah, but you're a freak. Somebody just broke you down. I feel like most people when they're like 17, like I don't think you can be a 70 year old fucking child really. Like there are people who just, who have mature in their whole lives, and there are people who are matured when they're like 13. Yeah. We're like, oh, you have a sure if you're like, like a fucking professor or something. But those people are like, ah, yeah, f-a-lain, they're like 60 years old. They just never fucking got any of her mentally.

Disappointing, retard. Papa? You child. I think I think freaks are good, but you fuck it. That's a funny one, I think it's... Yeah, that's not a... I don't think you could ever... God, you're a freak. No, even if I was really serious, God, you are a freak!

It's not even that sense. It's funny. It sounds sexual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are a freak. Like, it doesn't matter how angry you say it, it still sounds like, it doesn't really sound like you're, like, I don't want to talk to you anymore.

It just sounds like, wow, whatever it is... Or like, you are a failure. Stupid, failure. Stupid doesn't have any, like, punch- You're stupid. You're stupid. You're stupid. You're dumb.

I think you sound stupid when he said. Yeah, no, the word itself is stupid. Like, wow, that's like, stupid. Yeah. Gay just sounds neutral to me. He's like, you're gay. Yeah, I say, I, gay is more like someone that's like, well, that's gay. It also depends on the tone and it's like, what's the matter, you fucking stupid?

Like that's very, you're fucking stupid. If it's question, it makes sense. Yeah. What, you fucking stupid? I think stupid only looks at your question, but if you're like, if you're like, you're like, you're stupid. You're stupid. What are you fucking dumb? What are you?

It's like, you're like, I don't know. Dumb's a good one too. dumb fucking ape. Yeah, like you can have like a heavy period because it's just like you're fucking dumb. Just that's it. Period. Goody. Goody is not the same level as wean or the middle.

But sometimes you almost have to specify in order to make it really real. So like if you ever throw the word, are you actually? I feel like that automatically, it doesn't matter what you say after that, it's already going to be an insult. Are you actually an idiot? Are you actually a buffoon? This feels real big. This is hurting my heart, big. Did we say moron?

Yeah. Are you actually a moron? Like, are you actually a moron? Like as soon as- Tell me, tell me, I want to know. No matter what. I really need to know. We're not kidding of you,

Moron. Hearing the word moron just always has just like, Yeah, just being called a moron. It's just, too much like Mormon and it... You know what, that's all base. Yeah, it's like... Moron. It's just like, there's no bite to it to me.

Yeah, it's just really, like... It's really, it's direct. And you're like, you're a moron. Like, yeah, you say like something... Dolt! That's a good one. Dolt. Oh, fucking, Suzy.

See, her favorite word is... Is the New Jew? No, it's... I thought it was racist, but she assured me it wasn't. It begins with a pee. Rapist. If you add a line to that, oh p, yeah, maybe. But what you...

Oh shit, no, it was... Prick. Prick. You prick. That's what you call, like, your fucking uncle... My friend Helmet, his mom always says, you name, oh, prick. I call my dad a prick, or once, and you don't call your dad.

No. I was going to say, that's something you call your dad if you're really bad at your uncle. Fuck, that's a prick. That's what you call, like, an adult? I called my mom a bitch once. And I said it under my breath. Are you getting in trouble? Up from across the room.

You are fucking mad. No, I felt bad after I said it because she didn't say anything back. And she heard it. And she just went into her room. And I went upstairs and I was like, yeah. And about 10 minutes later, I was like, I should have done that. Listen, Nick. No, go more, no more.

I flipped my mom off. No, go-go-she-out-d yelling at me. I flipped her off and my step-dad saw me. So I had to think fast and I had to think fast. and I pretended like I hurt my fingers. He fucking do, Cole. Yeah, you can. I was clearly doing this and I was like,

you know. I always spread my finger flipping you off. You bitch. It's like, I don't like saying, I mean, I say faggots sometimes just because it's like, it comes out when I'm like, it's really debating.

But when you call someone it's almost just like playful. Yeah. But when I call someone like, I usually say like you're a fucking idiot. My friend Jack is a really good insult. It makes you feel really dumb when he calls you it.

It's like, you fucking ham. Yeah. That's sweet. What did you use to call Nile a dumpling? That's a fucking insult. You used to imagine some fucking frowning, fat guy, just some frowning fucking punchy guy. He's a whole dumpling and then his tits are dumped. That could actually be an insult.

Like you were fucking... I said that with acid in my mouth. It was fucking, you fucking dumpling. You're an acid tongue Arab. Acet tongue darry. You used to folks' images of just knocking shit over when you say dumpling. You just imagine some fucking sweaty, greasy guy. You know a big clumsy fucking oaf.

Both is great. Do you ever still hear people say, you fucking girl? No offense. But that's like an insult. Yeah, you fucking, like it's like pussy. Oh yeah, you're a fucking girl. On occasion, yeah. That's also kind of a mean insult.

Like, no offense to women. It's the overly macho. Yeah, yeah. But I still say faggot a lot. Though I don't mean it in like, idiot. Yeah, but I also say, yeah, he's a fucking homosexual. And I mean that in a way that he's a moron. Yeah, and I just see it because of my childhood, like of the stigma around it.

Yeah, yeah. You know what, growing up in Ireland in a fucking Catholic school, that's all kids call each other, you fucking faggot, you're fucking queer. We should, uh, end this. You're a fucking idiot, you're dumb, you're an oath, you're a fucking dole. You're a fucking dupling. You're a dupling. I love that one. You fucking dribbling dick. You're an oafish dumpling. There you go. You're fucking, there you go.

You should walk in somebody that street and just say to their face and fucking go to me. I'm gonna go up to someone on the street. I'm gonna be like you're a fucking meaty cock. You're a fucking big meaty cock. I would suck you by looking so fucking gay right now. I would suck you boys are so fucking bad. Have a good day. You know, that's an insult calling someone a meaty cock.

It's a little where they don't know. It's supposed to get a compliment, you can't tell. You're meaty fucking cock. Is spy an American insult? No. That was very Irish. People would be like, fucking spy. If I become like, who's the guy from back to the future?

Doc Brown. Old Maim Doc. If I became Christopher Old Man Doc. I would go around. And that's what I would do. I go to people and be like, you're a fucking meaty cock. That was good, juicy, meaty cock. Why did you have to wait to be here?

You're scared people? Yeah. You're a meaty cock. Marty, the cock is so many. He can do it good. Yeah, I can't do it anymore. Call money a meaty cock. I can't do it anymore.

Ah, Doc. Yeah, it was like really vibrato. Yeah, do it like a, it's like, oh. Doc, I'm from the United States. Marty. Now it sound like a jiff. Fucking. Come to my deli.

Have a fucking sandwich on me. You're a mety cock, Marty. Who's the president's future boy? Donald Trump. Oh my god! Oh, you're cock is so many! Let's I do the back to the future thing. Wait, wait, which, you're talking about the theme, right?

Let's do the theme instead of now, I'm going to do that. And then you go, dun... So I'll do the bass, you go, dun, dun, dun, so you do that, right? So I go, D-Dah-Dah-Doh. I hope this self-lacing cockering! Ah, darn, it's heavy! End it right there.

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