SleepyCabin - SleepyCast S2:E18 - [Time-Travelling Apocalypse Pranks]

Episode Date: April 16, 2016

Given the power to travel back in time, what amazing gifts could we share with the world before our time? Knowledge? Wisdom? The keys to progressing the human race beyond our wildest imagination? How about a vibrator and giant gay porn. Also dolphins are monsters, the ocean is made of chicken wings, and orange kryptonite sets Superman on fire. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Your hosts for the evening: JohnnyUtah (www.johnnyutah.newgrounds.com) Oney (www.youtube.com/user/OneyNG) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/user/Spazkidin3D) Podcast editing by: Oney - Initial edit Jakub Z - Main Edit Ricepirate - Final Pass +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Shane Danells . Ryan Pagonis . Creeps McPasta Jace Baker . Denis DeLong . Liam Staley Sonny Canchola . Susparty . Paul Raymond Lucas Boucher . ubernoobinator . Matt Gronhovd Rodolfo Davis Millet . Corbin Record . Andrew Dore Elecktricd00m . Sparky . Dani Rucker Dazzanator . Conner St. John . Phillip Tafoya Yuval Birenzweig . Dan Jakab . Chaney Rockwell Chris Moore . Shane Liesse . Blake Bevill Bill Zhuang And to ALL our lovely patrons

She would just make up a third editor that doesn't exist, like Tom, Jacob, and Frank. Jingleheimer. Jingleheimer. And Stephen. And Stephen. Like Stephen. Blackface Stephen. Tom Jacob and Blackface Stephen.

Blackface Stephen. I want to thank Tom Ryan, Jacob, Jacob, and Blackface Steve. Why you always laugh at Blackface Steve? You think it's funny that a black guy can edit the podcast really good? Blackface Steve. I think it's funny that you refer to it as blackface. It's like people don't call us like white face Blackface Steve was the guy who fucking Captain Dick had talked about in the last one. I know I was think of that stupid Adam Siler movie the Scoobba Steve. Oh yeah, um Big Daddy. Scooba Steve. I don't like that movie. I don't like it. I just thought that one thing is stupid funny for some stupid

What the fuck wants a toy called Scoop of Steve? She's a Scooper diaper. Corey's cool. What an awful fucking toy. It's like you could get anything. It's like getting one of It's like off-brand, like Ghostbusters toys. It's like, hideous. It's like, Spelunking Samuel. No one cares about it. Spelanke's lame. Whoa!

It was like fucking, fucking action mountain climber! Comes with like his little fucking hook. Attach mountain climber to any mountain and watch him go. And then he like slides down the rope and they're like, whoa! And then it's like boring. Yeah, there's always these like extravagant toys that are like, yeah, um, this is mountain cliver Jack. Like, and then you have to like set up his little mountain climbers

and hug it into a table or something. It doesn't even work. It's like, the kid would rather just imagine the wires are there and just not have to set it all up. I always say when you get a toy and it can't fucking stand up right. Should we officially start? Okay. This episode of Sleepycast is brought to you by our cool editors. Yeah.

Tom. Tom Ryan. Tom Jacob. Jingleheimer Smith. Blackface Steve and my friends do. It's not how it goes. Whenever I go out, the people always shout, they say, who's the racist fucking N-word? What you talk about?

That doesn't even make sense. We're trying to link, we're trying to bump our fucking editors. Just leave all that. That's just a cold opener in there. There is a world as tangible as our own. Impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Buried deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin.

And in that cabin. It's a bunch of guys. He's a bunch bullshitter. Welcome to Sleepycast. Homer's Sleepycast. Uh, featuring Blue Eye Jeff. Hello, again. Long-haired Corey and really ugly Chris.

Hi. Welcome to Sleepycast starring Jeff, Chris and Corey. What's with this voice? I don't know. Welcome to Sleepy cast starring Jeff Chris and Corey. Wow. Hey, guys. Hey, it's me, Chris.

You have a special announcement. What is it, Corey? I'll let you tell it, Corey. We're resigning. Yep That wasn't the announcement I'm out of here Oh Chris is 9000 Audi

Is that mean 5,000 Audi that's what it is 500 Audi 500 Audi 5,000 What is that Audi 5,000 Is it Audi 5,000 Yeah You know Corey that was just too far

That was too far in my brain To know what the fuck you were talking about It's like a saying nerds say You know Due to last week's episode Where we were Over the lot Completely over the line

What did we do We pressure from our advertisers Now we have to turn it down To a G rating from now on all we did was say racist mean things. Dude to the FCC telling Chris that Brown nose is not acceptable for a podcast. Brown nose.

Yeah. I was saying brown noses. Brown noses. Brown noses. That's what I was saying. That's all right, though. Misunderstanding. They call old people. I would never be that. You call old people gray nose? Gray nose. Like, raise some brown. Like, look these grey nos over here.

It's so stupid. Sorry, you're a maniac. I like, Corey, do you buy any cool topics? Oh, I like the topic we were talking about with, like, stupid toys nobody would fucking ever buy. Like, scuba Steve, nobody would buy that. No one would buy a mountain climber guy. And no one would buy anything that's, like,

Does anybody have any idea what any of this stuff is? Power drill, man. Just like, you know, when you go to a toy store, when you were little, we're gonna go on toys again, it's just an easy tandem. When you go to a toy store, and you would see these other fucking toys that, like, you know, you need to make your collection of toys cool.

So you have your, like, cool toys again. And then you have these other toys that are just from, like, They're the villains from like forgotten Disney films that nobody would ever play with. Here's a question. Let's play a game. Name a recent popular movie that toys would have been made of that movie. Just name one. Well, like Transformers. Okay, that's the transfer- What's the toy that would have sold the what's the worst selling toy out of that movie? The fucking two black robots? Yeah. Or the one with the big ball? Who was that one Asian guy who drank the juice on the top of the building? What?

The one goofy guy with a weird comb over here dude. Nobody would buy his fucking toy. I don't think any little boy would buy a Megan Foxx action thing. Her ass would be like really small. Actually, yeah, they would. Yeah, they'd get horny. What's the worst toy in the Star Wars movie? The new one? Yeah. Fucking old yellow lady.

Yeah, the nasty bug-eyed bitch that nobody cares about. The thing that was almost as bad looking as Jared is over. Safe call there, guys. Give it a free pass. Dude, chicken shit. That's what I think. What, you mean the girl? That's what you were talking about.

I didn't say it. He was, you were a misogynistic thing. I was going to say the black stormtrooper. Dude, everybody wants the black stormtrooper and the girl. Because then he can get them together. and make them like fuck each other. Corey. That's true.

It's terrible, Corey. It's very true. I mean, that's what you, when you had a girl and a boy toy, they know each other. I was going to say the Star Destroyer, but, you know, it's not a racist like you guys.

Fucking, you know that little round robot? He would be a bad toy because you could never stand up without you holding him. They built, they made him into a toy and it actually works. He's just stuffed animal. Well, yeah, but that's a little electronic toy.

Yeah. He puts his thumb out and everything. Look, if I buy a toy of the little black Stormtrooper and then I buy a working robot, the robot scale will be like ten times bigger than him. You know what blows my mind? It'll be completely out of whack. If we're talking about like this kind of stuff, you know when you see like these gifts of these parents who make these fucking costumes for these kids?

Where like just amazing costumes. Like you like see someone who was wearing like an alien costume. The kid's like fucking standing like he's in a street fighter game and like an action pose. And he shoots at his tongue and it actually like comes out like a little tongue and stuff and goes back in. It's just like, how do you do this? We can talk about Halloween costumes in March. I don't mind. I'm going to say my favorite one is the one of this dude he built.

He dressed up his little girl as the Ellen Ripley and the Paraly. and the power loader in aliens and he was the power loader and he just had her in a harness on his chest and she looked like she was riding as him. Yeah, riding a robot and a robot. That's fucking awesome. I saw this like kid just like this like five-year-old kid he's like sucking on his thumb and his dad's like do the thing and he fucking like turns into like a little

vehicle because he's like a robot. Then he turns into like a fire truck and drives away and then gets up again. So it's like how to fuck this kid's know to do that? Because he just knew to like kind of turn into like this thing and look like a robot. They probably took a video of it and showed him how to do it. Get real tiring going to every single house and transforming for every single parent on the street. Your fucking parents are turning the... I got a Halloween costume story that has haunted me for many years. Tell us.

When I was a little boy, there was a Halloween costume contest. And whoever had the scariest contest wins the grand prize of a bag of candy. Okay. And so my dad owns a store where he's like every Halloween, he'd sell the masks, right? I was like, Dad, I need the scariest mask you got. And he brought home this mask that was really scary. It was like all these faces, but in one face. So, but it looked creepy and I was like, that's gonna win, right? So we went to the contest. There was all these kids who made their own costumes, like this one girl wrapped herself up with like toilet paper and another girl who got these like fake scars and like, she just stuck them onto her face so she looked like she was cut up pirate.

Right? And I was like, these stink. They're not even scary. They look crap, right? So fucking, the fucking, the moment of truth comes, right? They drag out a bunch of kids from the crowd because and they put, and they put them. put them all in a big long line of like 20 kids, right? And I was one of them and I was like, yes, I fucking won, right? And then she fucking, the girl with the fucking toilet paper won it. Yeah, yeah. Because she was creative. She made her own costume.

Fucking bullshit. You can't expect those kinds of kids things. They're completely unfair. I know what you're talking about, though. They're saying, yeah, the scariest costume. Yeah, well, that's not fucking scariest. Yeah. Like, I get that she was creative and all that shit.

And I cheated. She probably would have bawled her fucking eyes out if she lost. And they would have been like, give her a consolation prize. Come on. saying is that I was the scariest. You should have like And if you're listening now, Contez lady, fuck you. What, what costumes are going to be really tired, like overdone this coming year? Oh, uh, Star Wars. Star Wars. The fucking Kylo Ren boy. Okay. Um, one punch man is it going to be every, every other thing. That's

more of a cosplay thing, probably. That'll probably be everywhere cosplay wise. Yeah. I can't really think, honestly. It'll be Star Wars this year. I mean, it's like nobody's gonna represent their boys, Batman and Superman. Nobody cares. Batman's always gonna be there. Batman will be there, but no one's going to represent them together. I could see people being Batman. It was one, maybe some fucking sad losers. Some Wonder women. There was that one year where every little girl was Elsa.

Yeah, no, everyone will, I mean, everyone will be like Batman and Superman because their dads and their kids like it. But I think people might probably be Deadpool. It's another one people probably be. There's going to be a surge of Deadpool costumes. All those are not going to work. All the eye holes are just the eyes are going to be white. They're just going to be wearing a ski mask. Oh, everyone's going to be dressed up as hot dogs for whenever that one movie comes.

Oh. Weiner Party. When Weir Party comes out. Everyone really doesn't like that movie so far. Like every single- It's a fucking... Oh, the trailer showed the entire movie, and people were like,

I'm so excited for this fucking movie. It's like, it ruined it for you. A hot dog's gonna say, fuck, I can't wait. I don't want to go on a tangent about a movie, but it's like, I've always felt, and this isn't really a tangent about a movie,

but it's what I've always felt that, what's his name? Fucking Seth Rogan is becoming the next, like, he's trying to become the next fucking, like, South Park Boys, like the next, what's their name? Matt and Trey. Yeah.

He's really trying to be the net because with the interview that was supposed to be like Team America like oh look we're edgy with Team America style But it sucked it had no it couldn't have a cold candlelight through that movie and then like um honestly all the movies he've written have done horrible They've all done bad except for this is the end but he didn't even write half the movie really yeah Yeah, his little tiny Jewish friend wrote it I thought that whole concept would have like would have been really cool Where it's like the first big like adult kind of you know animated movie or whatever Yeah but it's just try hard crap all of the fucking dialogue was just like Fuck man Holy shit

That's a really good Seth Rogen It's like cool Yeah you've never said that kind of stuff before Oh holy shit Yeah everyone's gonna be dressed up as hot dogs Kylo Ren and Deadpool And Sether Ongrake Everyone's gonna be like

All the kids are getting pre-carry their bloods to their babies Oh man you know Pineapple Express is one of my favorite movies That is a good movie But it's like the problem is It's like these writers They get in this thing where they write

So much movies and they write comedy movies that they forget how to write. And I think Seth Rogen has fallen into that line where he's like, his comedy is just borderline inside jokes. Like, all the stuff he releases like inside jokes?

Sometimes. Like, I really like super bad and I like, you know, by Apple Express. Did he write that? Yeah. He wrote that. It was like ancient, though.

And it's like, I feel like the older he gets, the less funnier he gets. Just every time I see him now, he's still doing the same old like, it's me! Oh my God! Oh my God!

It's like, yeah, play someone else, please. I'll say this, why I respect the South Park guys way more than Seth Rogen. Exactly. Well, no, no, those guys, one reason, though, those guys stay off social media. They never get into petty arguments online with...

They just hear stuff. Is Seth Rogen? Yeah, I think he does. Really? Yeah, he gets into arguments on Twitter. Twitter. Twitter's really weird. Seeing celebrities on Twitter is the weirdest shit ever had. There's that one guy who, like, he's like a guy you actually enjoyed. He did, like, the two Irish sitcoms you actually enjoyed. Oh, yeah, Green Lennon. He's a massive... He's a piece of shit. He's like the most

horrible person you'll ever see on Twitter. This old man who harasses people from their Facebook. Really? So you've seen the IT credit of Father Ted, right? No. Okay, right? If you're Irish... I know the account you're talking about.

I saw who you were talking about, but the account is Glinner. But if you're an Irish person, Father Ted is very cool... It's just dear to your heart no matter who you are. Everyone loves Father Ted, right? Okay. So then one day, I just... How old is it? How old is this show? Recent?

It's 1990s. But anyways, one day I'm on Twitter and I see, like, everyone's, like, shunning at him. I'm like, what the hell's going on? And he's just, he's just calling people, like, ugly, retired Gamer Gators and I'm like Oh is this about GamerGate and didn't you look into What he's responding to and nobody's talking about it

So he's just bringing up Gamergate whenever people disagree with him He's like you're just a bunch of faggot Gamer Gator losers He just said he heard buzzwords and they just constantly ringing his head He saw the whole Zo Quinn article thing and he's like those fucking pieces of shit Motherfuckers right and then Zoquin's like who's this faggot But anyways he like defends like girls from Gamer Gators Even though he doesn't know what the hell it's about or anything like that So one day I'm like wow

It's really fucked up that he just goes around insulting people. He doesn't even know what they're talking about. And he's like, yeah, well, you're a shithead Gamer Gator, and you like block me. And I'm like,

oh, okay, cool. So then, uh, if you just, like, look up, uh,

Graham Lenn on Twitter, you'll see all the shit. He says the people. It's fucking nuts. He's just, he's a tool. He, like, he's a tool.

I'm just, I'm just like, how do we break down these people, like this guy that, they wake up every morning and get the coffee. That's what I'm saying. They're always just looking for a fight.

They're always looking. Totally. Like, he's on Twitter like all the time. Who wake up? And they're just like, hmm. Like, I mean, I see it. And it upsets me. But I don't actively want to be like, let's, what's going on on BuzzFeed today?

What feminist issues? What stupid shit are they saying? That's literally it. But like, he goes out of his way to avoid people to being like, but Graham, there's proof of blah, blah, blah. And he's like, fuck you. And he's like, fuck you. And he's like, fuck you. And he's that girl's shoe on head where he was like, all these Gamer Gator with girl pictures are obviously just sock puppets, blah, blah, blah.

And she's like, I'm not. He's like, look at this one. Ha ha ha. I'll, like, tweet a picture of her. What is a sock puppet again? A sock puppet is an account that you make to, like, to be like a disingenuous or a troll. To troll to own people. Yeah.

Like, a sock puppet is just like, it's when you make an account to look like you're someone else. Okay. So when... Like, you're pretending to be the other side of the argument. Yeah. So if you see, like, a comment on, like, video and there's like a hundred comments and there's, like, no pictures of them. And the names are like Davis, like, Davis, one, two, three, but 42. Like, to him, a sock puppet is a person who made, like, a ten of

counts to drive his point across, you know? Okay. That's what it is to him. But like, she's like, I'm not a sock puppet. That's me, you idiot. And he's like, ha ha, as if, like, this girl, like, is a gamer gator. And then all these other girls were like,

yeah, we're all genders. Like, what the hell are you talking about? And he'll block all of them because he gets proven wrong. He's just like this like bitter prick. Last thing I want to say is he like, his like go to argument of recent is the dead or alive game isn't coming to America.

Right, right. So his like, his like big thing is like, well, these game nerds can't get their titty. And it's like, the point, the people aren't mad because the game isn't coming to America. They're mad because of how over censored everything and that's the reason why. They're mad because, yeah, it got censored

and not released because of people who aren't even going to play it. Exactly. This tough guy's like giving it. He's giving it to the, give him nerds the business. Pretty much. So he's like,

fucking nerds. Yeah, and he's like going to. Nerds. I don't know how old this guy is. It's like 55 or something. He's like 55 year old assholes going to these guys's Facebook page and like fucking looking them up

and being like, look at this guy. Yeah, I'm sure your mom would be proud of you. It's like, what kind of freak? goes on other people's profiles in scours for pictures to own. Yeah, he did that. There was a guy who was just like, Graham, you're a fucking asshole, and then he like stalked his Facebook, copied a picture of him and his mom, looked up his mom's name, and then posted it.

And it was like, what would you? What kind of level of off is wrong with that? That's what he would consider a Gamer Gator to do. That's what he would consider harassment. He's really going, the anger's making crazy. Yeah, he's going to be laying in his bed, fucking coughing up dust. He's going to be like, I wasted my life. I'm a loser.

But death's going to come in. That's gonna come in, right? He's gonna be like, I'm a GamerGate, you faggit. He's gonna fucking cut his half I'm like hell as GamerGate and he's like no No It's fucking hell there's no internet so people can talk shit. There's nothing you can do that's a game That's a game he supports all he's like all about that shit look people get harassed online men and women God It's stupid to even just make a big thing about it most harassers are just 12 year old kids looking to troll. That's all it is yeah I don't know where this

army of women, women hating guys. I don't know, what is it? There's... There's... Like, an army of guys who hate women. It's always just people. And wanna destroy them in the industry. This is every single case I've seen of it is a girl... A girl online does something fucked up. She gets people mad at her and then she claims harassment.

That's every single case. Remember that video? And there's these weirdos that don't talk to women that... Don't get me wrong. They're fucking creeps everywhere, but... Do you remember the video with that, like, uh, guy was getting harassed by that, like, ignorant black woman who was like, you're insulting. Oh yeah, the dreadlocks guy. You see that? I did. I saw that video.

This is like this stupid black woman. She's like he's fucking probably like it's like you didn't invent dreadlocks. That's my culture. It's called having dirty hair. Militin black women? Yeah. She's like that's my culture. You can't do that. It's so funny how racist this thing gets where it's not even racist but you can tell

like when a popular comment gets traction and starts appearing in every single comment section of this video and the one is like when she's saying oh yeah you're appropriating you know, black culture hair. They're like, well, you're appropriating clothes and cars

and buildings from the white people. You bitch. It's like, wow, this is just this is just gonna add and fucking troll now. I just don't get why everyone can't be okay with each other. Like, I don't get, what's the problem? He wants dreadlocks. He makes him think he looks cool. What's the problem?

I don't know. I don't, I don't understand the cultural appropriation thing at all. No, it makes no sense. It's a bad thing. It's true. Like, they're wearing jeans. It's like, yeah, give the jeans back then. You can't share culture. I don't know. Is this like,

this is this weird racism that they, it's like, I don't understand, I'm so lost. It's like this next level of wanting to be segregated but also wanting to be accepted. Martin Luther King did all this work

to bring everyone together. And then they treat him like a god and then they go against what he wants. This rich black people come in and they're like, no, you need to respect this, but also fear us. I like thinking of these things

and patterns and waves, you know, like the, okay, black students are like, we want to be segregated. And then like in the year like 20, 27, they're like, all right, we want to be reintegrated. Yeah.

And they're like, 2056. You know, it just keeps going. It's like, yeah. It's stupid because it's like, this is a topic. But it's like a small minority of people that really want to be a part of this shit. Yeah. Because half the people that of like, of different color, a varying color, they don't give a fuck. They're just like, I don't want to be happy with it.

They're like, I'm tired of being associated with these retards, these fucking crazy people. You can kind of tell. These people, they kind of forget what a small minority they are. Just how loud they are. But like when that video came out, 99% of people were. were angry at this video. Yeah. They weren't supporting it. Because this woman, she literally, she literally, like,

cornered him so he couldn't leave. She put her... She was grabbing him. She cornered him. Yeah, yeah. And he was just like, listen, I'm trying to leave. And she was like, she was trying to get her away from him. He's just the least threatening white cut him. He's like, look, man. Yeah, he's trying to get away. Leave me alone, man. No, and then she puts her hand on him. She wants her hand on him. It's so fucked up. She puts her hand on him.

And then she sees the camera. She says, don't put your hand on me. It's like, what the fuck is it your problem? You horrible bitch. That was like that funny video. Did you guys see the fighting game at the fighting game tournament video? Oh God, with that like the guy gets up and then- Who bitch this is? Who bitch this is? He stands up like, he's like looking at her like he doesn't know what the fuck is going.

She's strong, man. She put her big fat mitts on him and she's going to throw him to the ground. Just like, what is happening here? He didn't even do anything. Did she try to say like he was harassing her and everyone's like, you're a fucking idiot? Her and her friends were getting upset that he was getting a little, he was, you know, jumping up and down the chair. getting a little too, you know, excited about...

What are you expected? Street Fighter. Yeah, yeah. Everybody fucking screams and... He's getting all hyped up, but nobody cares about it. It's just the scene. It's a part of it. You beat someone, you're like, sit down.

Shut up, sit down. They were getting upset that he couldn't just take the victory and, like, leave it. No, that's not what happens. And shake her hand and leave. Corey, Corey, if you were to have anyone in the world on the podcast, who would be? Who I want on the podcast? I always want it on the podcast.

I want, who I really want on the podcast is Harry. Oh, yeah. That's legit. I love Harry. He'll probably come on on Pico Day. Is he coming? Yep. Okay, good, awesome.

I think. I hope. I should get him and a few other people. There's a lot of people. I know it's going to be really hard to wrangle some people together. I'm trying to think who I'd have on. I would have Jack Black on because I love Jack Black. I'd have Jim Carrey.

Oh, God, yeah. Stephen Segal. Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. Ryan Reynolds, I'd love to do a podcast. Isn't Stephen Segal like super old now? Yeah, he's crazy now. So he would be a great podcast, remember.

I want to have that... Oh man, Cleese was cool. I want to have that guy on who did the Coney 2012 documentary. That'd be cool. Didn't he like eat off his skin? Eat off all of his skin? That's exactly what happened. He ate his skin on skin.

He ate off all of his skin. Yeah. You're such a spastic. He did not do anything of the sort. Yeah, he like bit off a chunk of his skin and ran outside and he was... Because he fucking did a bunch of bath salts after like winning all the money for Coney 22. Corey, he got naked. That's all that happened.

No, he bit off someone's face like a wild ape. How is Connie doing? No one fucking cares. He's he doing well today, Connie? He was murdered by his children, like, prisoners. They found him. He had fucking, like, spoons and fork stabbed in him, and they took a picture of him. They got the help of the ape warriors living in the jungle.

They went to the giant ape lots, and they were like, the apes came out with their fucking sticks, and they fucking ran over to Godia and beat him to death with it. They took his car and fucking smashed it like a violin or like an ape world. They got the ape warriors. They got the big, they got the big Tony 2012 check and they ripped it apart and gave it to the two eight monkeys. Tony have the check. The whole point was to get rid of Tony. The kids, the kids gave it.

They ripped it and gave it to them. So what you're saying is when they raised all that money, they turned it to a big check, threw it across the ocean like a paper airplane. The kids got it. They got it. They ran to the money. the woods as fast as they could. They ripped the check, gave it to the monkeys. They gave a solemn, a solemn, an oath, an oath.

Okay. They beat their chest. The apes ran to Connie's hut and fucking smashed it like a, what do you call those things? They're fucking poker, people poking and poker players playing. He fucking smashed it like an accordion and then Connie vets flew everywhere. They rejoiced. They rejoined. They rejoined.

Why didn't they upload that video? I paid good money for me. The apes threw like a paper in the air and came to like Phenipetti. That's the only reason people donated money was to see all that unfolds. I would have donated if I could have watched that happen. Yeah, get your shit together. Next time talk about monkey huts being smashed. We had drones with like turrets also that came and like scouted everything out.

Picked off the monkeys when they were done. The monkey turret bamboo drones. They saw that they were done with Cody so they fucking shot darts and then blew off their heads with fucking rockets that we touched to them as well. To hide the evidence to make it. seem like American one. Oh, that's so funny. Isn't that what Coney Dedy like captures kids in terms of... I don't even know anymore. Wormongers? He turns them into little drones. He puts the kids. He puts the kids in bamboo huts and they crank these like bamboo levers and they fly around the air shooting darts at people. Tours are walking they shoot

fucking poisonous darts and they lace with frog guts and fucking... They're like, help us Americans please donate. There's gonna be a fucking wind of like Ebola and fucking like elephant flu like coming in like a fucking tornado it was gonna fly over the ocean Is elephant flu a thing or did you just make that up? Isn't swine flu? Elephant flu.

Ebola and swine flu and syphilis and like a big spinning like tornado is going to fly over the water into a hurricane form of all these kids fucking torrent propellers. You're in elementary school where you're just your teacher's like stop making shit up Corey you know they're just constantly making Are you saying Corey that right now

Connie is creating a tornado of AIDS syphilis and swine flute to shoot across the ocean to America using his weather machine, yes. His bamboo drones all spinning a huge tornado with the kids inside. He created a weather machine using household bamboo appliances.

He fashioned himself a... Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. That's good. I like that. No, they killed him. With bamboo. Are you sure he was killed? No, no one knows. People think he died before the documentary was even made. Yeah, it was just a big scam.

Yeah, the documentary was made because the thing is like the comic 2012. It happened like in 2008 or nine That like Coney was relevant Yeah he was relevant So he probably got like he probably did actually get ripped apart by an ape in the woods It just by carelessly wasting all his bullets and got mulled at That's definitely what happened

Or fucking Jaguar, one of those things It was a true ape Would you be more scared of an ape or a chimpanzee No I was literally thinking about this earlier today Think the chimp because I've seen a video Or if you're calm the apes don't bother you You know apes are fine apes will walk up to you and grab your foot and walk away Yeah they'll like pet you

A chimpanzee wants to, like, we want to, like, challenge whatever it sees. Are apes, like the big black-looking chimpanzees? Apes are, uh, you know, Tarzan? His dad is an ape. The gorillas. It's a silver-back gorilla. Oh, gorilla? Yeah.

A gorilla is a class of ape, right? It's a great ape. I suppose. I don't really know the official scientific classification of monkeys, but... Pretty much an ape is a monkey that looks more human than the other monkeys. Ooh. No. But what I'm saying is, okay, so if I saw a gorilla,

I would go inside and look outside at it. And if he smashed through the door, I'd run upstairs and close the door. But if a monkey did that, or a chimpanzee did that, he'd keep slapping on the door until he got in and kill you. He'd rip off your fingers and your ears and your eyes. It's funny. The two worst, like the two smartest animals, like chimps and dolphins. And elephants. And they're like the worst.

Elephants. They're horrible. They're monsters. I wouldn't count out of those two. Like dolphins, they should make dolphins versus monkeys or something. Dolphins are just horny. But they're just really horny and angry and mean and violent. and apes are just really horny, angry, and mean.

Gorillas just sit there chilling out all day. They're just like, eh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think if he threw a rock at a gorilla, he would even fish? He would get really mad. He would kill you. He would run over to you and grab you by the hair and throw you over the woods. What if I was flying? You would be flying.

When I was in my fucking bamboo drone, fucking throwing rocks on him, what would he do then? You fucking take a big stick and fucking, fucking, well, it out of me. He fucking made a big shot bamboo, like catapult and fire himself at you. Yeah, no, yeah, you take a big stick and, like, stick it up in my fucking repelette. stop me, I'd fall down, break my arm, and then he'd fucking smash me. There's always, you see a lot of videos of people going to see the silverbacks in the woods, and they're, like, the silverbacks are like, what the fuck? And they'll just walk over and, like, drag you for a bit, and then let you go and walk away.

They just don't care. They're just nice. That's because to you, they're like, and this guy's a pussy. Pretty much. He's a little weakling. Exactly. I think as long as you're not threatening to their children or something, they usually don't care. Do you think if you dressed up in ape clothes, like, you had, like, one of those monkey costumes,

you went over and just started, like, monking around. around just like hanging out you know they did that in a what's called wild wild boys boys really they took that I think yeah they dressed up as gorillas and were like fucking with the gorillas do they actually like yeah I think so oh no they dressed up as bananas that's what I'm yeah big huge banana yeah oh I mean I used to love Steve-o and Chris Ponches I know I would love to have Chris Ponces on the pocket they're all they're all dead now no no no what's the other one's the other one that's he's in rehab now or something oh my god did you see dude did you see

Steveo's like documentary. That's like the saddest game. I really like Steveo. I like him too, but man his documentary is like you want to see it a pressing like drug story. Yeah. Someone who just like has no idea what they're doing with their life at one point. That whole crew man. What a mess. Johnny Knoxville. It's pretty if he escaped. What? I like Johnny Knoxville. No, no, he seems all right but I don't even know what happened to him, but he's like he's like the only one that got out without falling into a drugs drug fueled. Because he has a good face for like movies. Like he has a good like action page. Johnny Knoxville by or fucking Chris Pontchis and Steve are my favorites. The rest of them just had all these millions

to just blow on drugs. I don't like that guy who takes shits on everything. The one who, Dave, oh yeah, I'm not a fan of that guy. The one who died. Oh, I love him. Yeah, Ryan Dunn. He was my favorite. Ryan Donnell. Until he got drunk and drove down the road 150 miles an hour.

He was with his friend in the car. The problem is like he always, he got some pretty the bulk of a lot of shit because he was the one who could like handle like some of the worst stuff. Yeah. But that was just because like, um, ban was too much of a push over to do anything. So he would just end up doing it. He would always try to fuck with him. I feel like they have never got anything.

If you guys got a few million dollars each, would you start just doing drugs and partying? No. No. No. I've had fucking opportunities to do drugs. I've done it. Drugs suck.

I've had the opportunity to be a part of that sort of crowd. I don't like that whole lifestyle. It's a toxic lifestyle because it's like your friends all do it. And the next morning they go out and do the exact same thing and nothing changes. Really, yeah. Like, I've seen people just get like pulled into it and their life turns to shit. The scariest thing is whenever you don't know how you act around other people. Like, I had one friend.

They're not really my friend. I just sort of went over to their house and, like, did drugs in their house drugs. It was, like, the most mild form of drug. But we did that, and they were tweakers. I don't think they knew that, though, because you're not aware that you're a tweaker when you're... They're really paranoid and shit. When someone is, like, tweaks from doing drugs, they, like, their faces twitch and they start, like, doing really creepy. Like, you know, like, tweakers, like, they twitch and they do stuff like that?

Yeah. Well, that's what they were doing, and they didn't realize it because your body can't tell. That sucks. Yeah. So you can't tell if you're freaking out whenever you do drugs. I had a million dollars. I just fucking save it until something came up. Yeah, if I had a million dollars, I'd just save it to, because I'd give it to the people when they needed it.

I would spend it on all those stuff. Boats. Boats, lots of boat. I'd buy seven or eight large boats. Would you buy a boat and then spend the remainder 500,000 on a huge pea hat to play on your boat? Yes. Cool. It's a good list, but I would paint every boat in, like, a color scheme based on one of you guys, and put your face on the front. I have boat races.

Cool. It's a good idea. It's a good way to waste money. Can we push a button and shoot water out of our mouths at the other books? Yeah, like the USS Spazkit. You know when people name boats? Is that like an official thing to do? Or do people just call their boats something and say that's the name of it?

Or is there like a registration system that you've got to go through? I mean, I guess it's both. They can call it whatever, but I guess they have to register. They probably have to, I don't know. I don't actually know. Why am I even on the boat naming authority? You have a lot of boats have like salt in their name, like salty and like just dirty. Like all these names sound like seed dogs.

The salty clam. The salty bum bum. Yeah, I don't know. They're all, they're weird. Boat names are the weirdest thing. What do you call your boat for real? The, yeah, that's a good one I'd call mine the

Or LLY Or LLY Fast Boat Call mine Mr. Hansom Mine would be called I don't know It'd be something that I would just like slap the keyboard And stick like tape on the thing It'd be like a foogie spitz

And people would be like riding the fuggies spas So whenever we go down They would type They look like somebody slap the fucking thing And if you're like, what have you lost the scene You get on the CV radio And you're like, help

There's that lost No, okay There's up from down That's a downer. They'd be like, we can't find the phibis-z- and you're like, no, it's not the flibbiz, it's the boat. It's like, sir, you're breaking up, but like, I'm not breaking up, instead. I can hear you fucking clearly, it's the biggest boat. It's like, it keeps breaking up. So, that's the downer, but the good thing is that if you're like trafficking, you're trafficking slaves, no one's gonna be able to get you. They'd be like, look, you gotta find this business, and then I just can't find it.

Genius, you hear that slave owners? Slave owner. owner tips and tricks. Some things just seem like too much of a burden to even if you had the money to own a boat. There's boat repairs, there's what if the boat breaks down in the fucking middle of the ocean? There's duct tape. Boat fuel, boat insurance. Costs are out of out of here. I would never bother. Why don't they just stick like a flotation inside the middle of the boat? Like you put like one of those floating boats

that are always floating so you put it inside the boat. So in case it crashes you have a boat that floats up with it. You'd have to seal. You have to have a permanent, a sealed bag around the entire inside of the boat. Why don't you just have like a big opening under the boat? You can stick like floating devices underneath. Then the wouldn't really be a boat anymore. It'd be a raft. Have you, uh,

it would go two miles an hour? Have you ever seen those pictures of, uh, like people have like flats under the ocean kind of? Where like there's people at the bottom of the, well, not the bottom, but there's underwater to a point where they have like glass walls all around them. So in their bedroom they're just looking into the ocean pretty much.

I used to have that with my, um, No, I swear to God. My grandma, I remember when I was staying with my grandma, there was like this thing at the edge of like a lake. And it was like really, I just remember being super fucking awesome when I was little because it was like almost being on a pirate ship. And it was like a boat at the, it was like, because my, she dated an artist and he always bought like these weird art houses. And that was like an art house. And it was like this house. It was like half of a boat that was underwater.

Right. That was sticking out. So it was like a living boat that was like built basically around the thing with like you'd walk at the edge of like, what do you call those things that like on. the river bay where you like walk at the edge of them. A jetty? A Jedi? It's like where boats are like placed against. There's like a name for it. It's like a really simple.

Oh, a dock? Yeah, a dock. You walk at the end of the dock and that's where the door is. You go inside of it and you'd walk down the stairs and we'd have those like a porthole. Yeah, porthole windows that you could like see fish and shit swimming underneath while you're underwater. But that's also scary because what happens if it cracks and now you have fucking water pouring into your... Yeah, it's like if you're like a multi-millionaire and you're like, I'm gonna build a house and it's gonna be partially under the water and

And I'm just, my whole bedroom is going to be a glass wall. That's what I'm saying. It just seems like... Scary? You're setting yourself up for disaster. Yeah, you're just like, oh, you're going to spring a leak. Your whole house is going to be ruined. Not just that, right?

Okay, one, you can spring a leak. Two, you know, the actual pressure could just kill you one night. All the water could just smash it on top of you. Yeah. Another thing that would concern me is that you're underwater and you're like, you fucking your girlfriend and your cool, like, glass room looking at all the fishies. Yes. And then the scuba diver starts knocking on the window and start...

Always a real concern. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So what if there's like a submarine or something going by? Some peeping tom scuba diver. It swings by. What if a guy puts a GoPro on his pet dolphin? He says, go over there.

I'd be really scared of that. Like, I wouldn't want... Would you jack off if there's a bunch of, like, fish looking at you? Yes. I wouldn't. Because some fish are intelligent. A dolphin would look in and see you jacking off. They're going to reserve this information.

The dolphin starts ramming the glass. Jack me off too. Just once in, once in on the action. He has a huge dolphin boner going by. He's just looking at you at his one eye. Have you seen the way the turtle gets a boner? No. Their dicks are longer than they are.

It's like... Does it come out of their head port? No. It comes out of their little dick hole. I don't want to know about animal dicks. You sure their head doesn't go back inside and a dick comes out? I saw a picture of like a horse dick and an elephant dick and I'm like, it's terrifying. It's not. It's cool.

It's not cool. You can put your arm inside of an elephant stick. Are you sure? Good to know. Are you sure that it's not just like their head goes inside and a dick comes out? They're weapons. They could kill a human. If I were to see a baby.

elephant dick next to me I'd probably just leave because it would smell really bad. Would you motorboat? An elephant's dick? The peatheal of elephants peat hole? Do elephants like, I've never seen it? Okay, I've seen an elephant's stick before but I've never seen an elephant's balls. I've never seen an elephant stick. I never actively went.

I mean, I've seen it in porn but that's just fake. Cory, you saw already got fingered, that was an elephant's stick. I thought there was a horse. What? You brought, you brought it up. It was an offhand comment. It was a half-hour conversation. You seen the video of the hyena shoving his head up the elephant's ass?

Oh yeah, and then the thing like shit on its head or something? He like pulls out the inside of the elephant's ass trying to eat it and it just explodes. A dead elephant. Yeah, yeah. It just explodes water all over him and he runs away. Yeah, he puts his head up of robbing elephant's ass. And it's just busts the inside like a balloon.

It's funny. Yeah, he was hungry. It's like the most like unnoble way. I mean the elephant has a tough hide. He's like, oh, this is the softest way in, I guess. Pretty much. They don't give it, they don't know. They're dumb.

They're dumb wild dog animals. Terrible topics this week. We've talked about everything, man. We have like literally probably 60 hours of talking plus 200 plus hours of us being edited out. Yeah. That's true. How many fucking topics can you get, honestly? Like, you know, it's funny.

That's something we could, that's a topic. What about these people who, um, who are able to just like continuously talk every day? Like, like, they always have something they're talking about. You mean, have a five-hour radio show every day for two years? Well, all they talk about is the topics of the day. Oh, yeah. When we try to talk about shit, usually it's us trying to talk about something that can be timeless. Yeah, we can talk about current topics and the stuff we've heard.

We avoid politics, sports, daily, daily occurrences, celebrity news. So we knock out, like, all, like, the hot topics, and we go straight for, like, the toys. What's Kim Kardashian up to this week, guys? So that I want to know. Kim Kardashian is such a fucking enigma to me. I never watch anything or see anything she does, and yet she still comes up. I keep it here, and she's so weird. She's only famous because of porn.

She's only famous because of what's his name, fucking Kanye. Can you? Do you guys ever feel out of touch, out of touch with what's popular? I'm glad I'm out of touch. I'm completely out of touch. I always have been Every time I go to Twitter and I see something trending I don't know what it is It click on it. It's always like some rap album or something Yeah, something's fucking fucking stupid or I'm like going on through my emails and they're like hey you should follow fucking it's weird

It's weird about it and fucking Hillary Clinton that kind of shit That kind of shit like trains you to know what kind of shit it is in future So if if you go on Twitter and you see this topic that everyone's talking about Yeah like I would say 99% of the time now I can like say with 100% certainty that no one's gonna be talking about it ever again in a week's time. Yeah, these things, these things that happen

where people like, like, if a huge thing happens, it's the talk of the town for like two days and then nobody cares after the third day. People's attention spans aren't that long anymore. Things don't last because things just, like, grow out of, like, importance. The more crazy shit that happens, the less you care about the next crazy thing that happens.

Exactly. Like, ooh, cool. And when something happens out of like a blue moon, you're just like, oh. Everyone, like, I didn't think anyone would ever top that whole Bash reverse thing, but everyone just forgot about it after a week. Yeah, no one cares.

Is he back to being epic? No one cares. No one cares. It's like sweet, dude. More let's play sweet. Yeah, he's back to making videos and like, it's just like there will always be like the subset of people who still remember, but for the most part, no one cares.

He was like 10 seconds from putting a bullet in his head or something, right? And now he's just back to being. Back to playing Minecraft, like the good old days. Joining Yog's cast as they sing songs about digging holes. See, I'm lost again. I don't want to know. I don't want to out. These are all just like quick inside jokes that are...

You know what? Nal always gives me shit for. Slight stabs. I'm completely out of touch with music. Like, you guys hear music because of Tom, but I'm pretty sure if Tom wasn't around, you guys would also be oblivious. Oh, well, what I'm not here?

Then they tell you about a whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, but I wouldn't be able to Rihanna on the radio? Oh, no. That's just all shit that's, like, it's out of date after a year, and then no one ever, like, sings it or talks about it again. I'm going to miss out on Rihanna and other, like, failure artists that make awful music.

The R&B music scene is the most, bizarre thing. It's dribble. It's like these people with autotune songs like, yeah, hey, yeah, yeah, it's like, so and so. It's on the radio. It's like, so and so and so and so and it's like, yeah, da, da, bet, aba, bet, there's like, doka, do, do it. But a bet, bet, bet. It's just like, the move, it's like, that, like, that's like, ah, God, I can't, I can't.

It's so processed, it's just, like, have you ever listen, like, I know it's gonna sound really gay? Yeah. Did you ever, like, listen to Japanese, like, pop music? No. Well, well, Well, I don't listen to it, but I've heard it. And it's like, it's really, really like, you'll never, you'll never hear anything like it. So every time their pop music comes out, all this, like, music comes out, all this, like, music is really different. It's compared to the American, like, calculated, like, four-cord song that's constantly put out.

It's insane. You hear these J-pop songs, and, like, every one of them are hit. They're, like, individual songs that are hits. And then you hear it all so unique and you've never heard anything like each one before. It's weird. Yeah, and then you hear an America song, it's like, I'm so awesome. It's always, every American songs. I'm awesome.

It's like the worst shit ever It's like I'm tired of it It's like it's funny too because like I would like to think of myself as someone who enjoys rap And I do enjoy hip hop but I enjoy old rap and old hip hop all this garbage It was catchy It was catchy back in the day Yeah now it's just this Now it's just like noise

It's so it's not only noise It's like nails on chalk chukler It's terrible It's like you can chalk it up to the same thing If you want an example of music nowadays Just listen to Rihama's work song That's you're fucking I feel like even saying this

You know I'm like am I just, am I completely out of touch with this? I don't care. But it's just, it just so, it makes me angry, listening to it. It's not even like an earworm. It's like an unfair earworm. It's like, it's like if you repeat a word in somebody's ear long enough, they're going to fucking remember it.

If you, like, wired my eyelids open and like the clockwork orange and just put on the local R&B radio station, I would crack. I'd crack in a few minutes. You would start singing along. I would say anything. Because there would be two songs playing. Like, that's it. Just those two songs.

Like, now back to Rihanna, what? Yeah, it's like, Rihanna, the Rihanna. Then the DJ's like, What's up, y'all? Coming back to you, like, 98.6, the Blackie Jazz Channel, whatever. You know, I don't know. Come on, the new hit song, Rihanna, with work again, work. With work, work and work.

That's the one. That's not only funny. Featuring DJ Jazzy Jeff. Whatever. Whatever me and now go to Subway, it's always like the same three songs on repeat over and over and over. Yeah. I'm so tired of these fucking songs.

Holy shit. I just want to like reset. Just turn the button off, start over again. On society. Just reset music. Just reset music. Let's go back to the fucking sticks and stones of people going like, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. We're going to be hitting a rock, work, work, quick, quick, man. There, that's the song.

You just have like the chirps in the wild, like, who, who, who, would be like 30,000 BC. What a good, bub, b, b, b, b, b. That's a good idea for a topic, right? So if you were to go back in time, right, and bring back a TV and a radio, right? And if you were to show, like, let's say either like medieval times or a caveman, one piece of media just to see how much it would fuck up the future completely, what would it be?

So like, let's say if you brought back fucking poker face and just showed it to a bunch of cavemen, they're going, pooh, poker fuck! And then in the future, like, society's like based on that song because everyone was singing it. And everybody's wearing bizarre. What's your face on the... Lady Gaga? Everyone has this bizarre, like, Zeta fashion everywhere. They don't even have to see, like,

Lady Gaga, so, like, if you brought back a radio with poker face and you went from town to town in medieval times showing, like, a vast majority of society, and he came to the future, like, everything would be completely different. I go to medieval time and give them a vibrator and see what they do. See if they think it's a weapon. I'm like, this is a weapon from that future

gods. It's a million... It's like this, like, buzzing thing that they're, like... I'd bring back Mr. Rogers and I'd bring back Mr. Rogers, then they'll be these cave paintings like a stick figure at the blue sweater on. They'd have like different shoes and like one with different shoes on. Then Bob Ross would just be this stick figure at this big circle on his head. Nobody knows what it means.

They think it's like some, like he'd think he's like the king. Yeah, I'd be, so we're talking about stuff bringing him back to medieval times. So this is like kidding King Arthur's Court. So let's just say, right, Corey? So instead I'm giving him a stinky baseball bat in baseball, I can give him something cool. Just imagine it, right, Corey? You have the power to teleport a huge state. back thousands of years, right?

So that it's pretty much like a huge Woodstock, right? You've got your big stadium, huge-ass speakers, right? And then people are like, what is this? And they all start gathering around there's like millions of people around you, right? You've got your one chance, a big projector or you can play music, just one song or one piece of media. Well, I wouldn't play music. What would you do? Because I would

have a bad future or not because I'd be playing like some video game music. I'd give them a sharper image catalog. Blow their minds. You can project anything up on the screen and they'll all see it. photographic clock and like the thing that takes back and forth and definitely. Could I project gay brothers on the screen? They'll all run up on stage and kill you.

Because they all hate gay people back then. I'll put gay brothers up there, they'd be like, What are you doing? Show my man. They're just sitting here by day. And they're like, they don't even know what's going on. I'm just like this guy, Hello, I am from the future.

You gotta think of it from their perspective too, so they're all looking up on the big screen. They're like, what is this huge portal I'm looking at? portal I'm looking at. Like, they don't realize this is great. They think there's two giant gay brothers sitting there. They're giant. They're actually giants? The land of the giants. So in the future, they're fucking, like, tablets of, like,

huge-ass gay giants fucking each other. I think they're, like, terrifying monsters. This is what happens when you get, you get captured. They fuck you to death or something. So they have, like, these, like, things, they, like, made out, like, they, were able to create these, like, mountains of, like, a gay brother sitting on his bed, holding his dick. Yeah, Matt Ryan.

Marshmore, it's the two gay brothers fucking each other. By the way, if everyone doesn't know, gay brothers is this stupid... They're gonna on earth this thing like from Lord of the Rings, like this gigantic stone sculpture of like these two fucking gay dudes. It's gonna be like 25 feet tall. They're like, what is, what is this? But it's like you can live... Next to Stonehen.

Society's based off of that thing now. Yeah, I mean... It's like the new Jesus Christ. And then I'm like this, I'm like, I bid you a do. And then lightning goes off and I disappear. I lead the projector with gay brothers fucking... Yeah. What do they do next?

They steal the technology and they create more gay brothers. They all start fucking it. Then our future's ruined before it even began. Kill all the women and fuck. You go to the future and there's nothing there except for like gay skeletons lying everywhere. With dries jizz on their skeleton hands. They're all stuck together. Okay, now, Corey, here's the next thing.

Can I bring... Aliens come down to study the remains of the earth, what all these skeletons stuck together, right? They're like, what is this huge organism stuck together, so they try to recreate it? What would this organism based on these skeletons stuck together look like? What? It would be a big fucking mound of humans stuck together. Yeah, they were like bringing it together and their faces like kind of like looking

to the side or the other one's looking forward, like some weird like fucking. And then you can send that back in front. Just drop this like meaty things like, oh! Like the stage with the gay brother is fucking. If you do this, this will be you. Man, the future is gonna send the time police after you two. You're like the most wanted criminals in the timeline or whatever. Cory and gris.

I go there and fuck with them. I go there with one of those red laser lights and start fucking pointing it at them. They'd be like, ah! They're like fucking running away while I'd fucking chase them with it. You two would destroy the entire planet with your time decision. It's the alien's fault. They created it. We just sent it back in time.

Okay, that's my choice. Yeah, yeah. Gay brothers. Jeff, what's your choice? Oh my God, what would I do? What would you do, Jeff? I just had it. You can play one music or you can project something on the screen.

Project the movie Commando. Really? Yeah. That's so stupid. Then you would create a Commando future. I hope so. Because people... No, wait, what did you project to the video of LARPing?

I'd say, this is the future. This is all they know. It's like, looks exactly like it is now, but everybody just looks stupidly with phone bats. So they continue to like when like the horse... Maybe they're like, oh my God, we have to do something. else. If they'll retire our swords and make some new weapons. I don't know. What would be really fucked up to show

somebody in the past that just would... You know, what would destroy future civilization? What? Anime Club. Yeah, show up anime club. Is that an actual thing? It's like these girls dancing to a fucking anime sign behind bad creed. These two girls in high school trying to get people to

join anime club. Like, they'd stop dancing in front of a shitty green screen. You could show them that or foam adventures? Fom adventures. Foam adventures. You just show us. We got a video. That's a video got like 1% thumbs up or something.

It's kind of like, it's like just a ridiculous amount. We got foam. Everyone in the future would just be fucking obnoxious for us. He's streaming that over and over. Everybody would have to have foam or they would be fucking crucified. This would be made out of foam. Jeff, you still got to answer. I'm thinking.

Either foam adventures or anime club. Now you have to choose. Anime club. The fucking door slacks. What are you? It's like nothing I can say to compare to the cringe, the cringe zone here. Jeff, you should choose the basher video. He's like, I never said I was the victim.

Dude, they would think he was a god because he's in this green room. This like bright green room with this like, Bashers of new Jesus. So you have a picture of Bashar on these like really detailed faces. When he's like teeth clenched to look it up in the air. He's like anything out of the ordinary They're like he's a god You walk into a room

And statue vashers just screaming at his fucking At you when you walk in This green room They don't have any green So they just put tape grass everywhere It was mud and shit I would show him the goldfish video That's what I'm showing

Oh really? Which goldfish video It was something we talked about In like episode one or something It was this like porn porn video But it was this woman Oh that one Pinching goldfish to death

And putting them in a blender And food processor Dumping them in a latex suit I think it would just make their brains melt They would just like King Arthur in his entire table of Knights it just they just drop dead It would probably become like the new thing Should show them

Transformers 3 Revenge of the Fallon To see what happens You fucking whole clothes Pug their ears up The first time I saw Transformers the movie I was like blown away by the animation I thought it was the most amazing thing I had seen in a long time But if you went back in time

gave a caveman, can't open her, and then disappeared. Just, just, you literally disappeared, just run away. Just disappeared. You give it to him, you fade away. There's no cans, Corey. So, they would, like, start, like, fucking killing people with it. Give him a PSP.

One hour battery. Give him a dying PSP. Like, he loves it for an hour and it died. No! He fucking smet. He fucking fucks it against a rock. cries and kills himself. No more batteries for 10,000 years.

So you would just use your fucking time traveling powers to fuck with one K man? Did you ever see that movie, by the way, 10,000 BC? No. Oh my God. They pitched it as almost like this, I'm not historical, but as sort of a, the trailers are like semi-realistic of like, oh, this is an

adventure taking place in 10,000 BC. But then you watch it and it turns into this like Lord of the Rings fantasy movie halfway through. That stinks. I remember seeing that movie's trailer and I said, that looks bad. And it's from that guy who makes all those other shitty movies. Yeah, he needs world destruction in every movie he makes. That's the Independence guy, right? Roland Emmerich. Yeah, yeah, he's not very good. H.J. Rowling? H.J. Rowling. That's J.K. Rowling. Who is that? Writer of Harry Potter.

Really? You dig bag. If you could change like literally anything in history, like any tiny detail, what would you do? And make the moon purple. That will change money. Change the his change. You can literally change anything. You could be like, I want Hitler's last name to be Bram Boy. Spittler. Spittler. People spit on him until he kills him. Straight off Spittler.

He just fails and everything because everybody hates his last name. You can change literally. You can make Hitler's nose twice as big. I'd give him a normal mustache and then see if the Hitler mustache actually takes off anywhere in the world after that. But then everyone won't have normal mustache. The Hifters would fucking bring back the Hitler mustache. They would like realize it shaving off after your mustache makes you lose. I'd be curious. It's too bad you can't play this game where you just make things.

You change things just to see what happens. Yeah. That's a good idea for a game in general. Just like going back in time, giving somebody like a Game Boy, then going in the future and seeing what happens. What if the first like two shuttles in a row blew up trying to go into space? Do you think they just give up? Or they'd make something complete.

I bet they'd make a new loss saying you can't do this anymore. It's too dangerous. Yeah, like how many disasters in a row would you need to like for them to just outlaw space? I'd say five. The funny part is you could just do something where you could have dry ice in a petri dish and put it on the ground and people go out and try to touch it and fucking look at it. What?

They're trying to touch it because I don't know what it is. They're fucking like, they look like they get cursed so people would be terrified of it and just be sitting there. What if you brought back in time, that, like, that plays sand that doesn't stick together when you take it out of water. Just blow their fucking mind. Yeah, exactly. Give them easy bake ovens. Give them those, like, little animal things that you make in, like,

water by putting it in water and it turns into an animal. Oh, man, I haven't seen one of that. You could fucking entertain and you could go back in time with a yo-yo that lights up and be like The disappear they'd be like just from over the time You'd be on a cross burning that that night say you'd be killed within two seconds they'd just be completely horrified Maybe they'd love it it would be like the first time they ever saw two different kinds of colors of one Imagine if you went back there just the toy lightsaber you'd be rolling over a country by like next to me You go there and it's like

like 2403 quality noises like you're fucking hitting stuff with a glow stick You'd be like, I'm the new king. And then you fucking like, like, put it out. They'd be like, they'd all bow. How fast do you think society would fall if all the ocean in the world got turned into like phantom orange? Pretty fast, pretty quickly. You think the world could be saved if that happened? You just like, God, can you do me a favor with Earth?

Can you turn it into a soda? If the whole world, actually, if all the water turned to Coke, like, you'd be fairly fucked, wouldn't you? Oh, boy. Oh, my God, dude. Like, how long could you live for? Not long at all. society would like crumble. Well, the fresh water might still be, I mean, if it's only, are you talking about all the water or just the soap?

Okay, all the ocean. That's still like, makes it. I mean, they're just still, I mean, this, you'd probably still be able to live off fresh water for, you know, a long time, but all seafood would be dead. Like, all the fish would be dead. So that would be, like, really. Nothing left alive. So like, the seafood at like, Japan and stuff, they'd be completely fucked. Wait, no, it would be worse than that, right?

So all the plankton would be dead. So all the fish would be dead. But don't plankton eat shit. Well, the entire ocean ecosystem would be destroyed. Anything that... Any birds that ate fish would die off. Any people who want a coastal city would probably starve. I would say the world would last two weeks.

All like these like weird like fish that nobody's seen before with human faces will float up to the top of the water. And everyone would see all these like scary like... They see like fucking crackens floating above the oil water. That's a good question. Do we need the oceans? Like if the oceans just turned to acid, do we need them? Completely. Yeah. Yeah, completely.

They make up a good percentage of the water. Not only would fish all day, all these like boats would fucking corrode and say... No, I'm saying if the oceans were no longer usable, could you just survive off, you know, land animals and fresh water? I think you could for... If you were able to keep fresh water. But would there not be like... There would probably be some disease, too. Everyone would be freaking out and like running inland, like killing each other trying to like...

Also, the fish would all rot because they would fucking be... They would just be, they would just be like this smell. Oh, there'd probably be a terrible smell for a while, yeah. That would never... I mean, it would smell good and then really bad. Outside, you would... He'd smoke it inside. If you were in Iowa,

like you wouldn't smell it though, really. You'd just all be congregating around Iowa the second you leave out of it. It's just this horrible smell. That sounds like a nightmare. Well, what do you think would happen if the sky turned brown

for the rest of our age? So what you're telling me is God when he was creating water, he'd put a dab of cherry cola inside of it. He went into the future and he tastes these things like, that's pretty good. I'll do them a solid here.

He's like, hmm, this is good, we put all over Earth. And he's an asshole. He does, like, how he does chicken wings, he puts too much fucking sauce on it. ruins it? What if the ocean turned to chicken wings?

It never went bad. I mean, people would have food forever, because like there's a big, the ocean's big. It's a big thing. It's a lot of chicken wings. People just get so tired of chicken wings. Yeah. But if there's no ocean, what happens with your poopie? It all piles up online. What if the water turns into poop? You're talking about your poopie. If you're living

in Iowa and you're surrounded by fields, take one, one shit, right? Yeah. There'll be one shit in your field now. But then the next day there'll be two. It breaks down. Yeah, but it's like fertilizer. Mixing it with the dirt. And it'll... I know, but eventually you'll just have a really disgusting like land around you especially if you've got lots of neighbors with the water turned into like black tar

fecal matter what do you think happens to what do you have as a cow shit Chris I know that shit degrades and it makes land good and stuff I'm just saying it's gonna get stinky it wouldn't what if you lived in New York you wouldn't be able you would need a lot of people shitting in a very small place for it to look if you live in New York and everyone starts shitting on the streets it's gonna pile up well yeah I'm just saying well yeah if there's no ground or water source especially if they got infinite chicken wings their shits will be used You're just sitting in the streets. Yeah, it's gonna get out of control.

There's no toilet that leaves to the... There's no water that goes to the ocean anymore. It's all your toilet's clogged with chicken wings now. I was assuming you're just shitting in a field or something and it was raining and it was just taking care of itself. Okay, Iowa was a bad, you know, example. But okay, you're in New York, your toilet, your bathtub is full of chicken wings. The water's not flowing no more. Yeah.

You gotta catch rainwater with buckets now. Well, yeah, seven million people living in a quarter mile. It's gonna get stinking. It's gonna go bad very fast. The water turns into jello. That doesn't go bad. refrigerated jello, it's always refrigerated. What if there was no water, but you could, you could actually sustain your, well, you could, you'd have to eat jello just to keep liquid in your body.

Oh my God, that sounds like, to sustain yourself. Horrible. These are disgusting situations. They don't wear water, just jello. Jell-o, so you see this ocean? It'd be kind of cool. You go to like a fancy steak restaurant and you're the only way to, like, get a beverage is to eat a cup of jello with your steak. Yeah, but it's required because you have to get rid the jellos.

Because you're parched. You're like, man, I'm thirsty. You just eat jello for five minutes He got bored one day and turn the water into jello So he's like, now you have to pay for my sins So you have to eat all the jello Until it's gone And then I'll give you water

This is the worst topic ever It's cool It doesn't even make any sense You know that there's a law Against advertising in the sky Do you know that? Yeah, you have to pay for it No you don't

It's never gonna be allowed What about plane? What about There's a messenger plane Oh no, that's a plane But I mean like people were thinking about Like putting ads on the moon and shit Oh yeah you can't do that There's gonna be a big Pepsi logo

The moon, the moon, people try to buy the moon and put advertisers on it, but it's like fair use. Really? I mean, it's not fair use. I just heard that, yeah, there's a law against it. What's the law again? Like, you know, nobody can own a plot of land on the moon. Well, in that case, then they can't land their fucking rover on the moon. I don't know.

Or maybe it's co-owned by all the space agents. I have no idea. I have no idea how it works. Does it cost body to own a part of the moon? I don't think they're actually selling, I think, it's funny a few years ago, I think one guy was fraudulently selling pieces of land on the moon. And people were sending him money And he was sending him like certificates

You're like, okay, you own The something something Planisha over here next to this crater And people believed it Like oh cool, my great great great grandkids are gonna live there I wish you could just like visit the moon for a day I would love to do that. Speaking of stupidity did you see that Kickstarter The underwater breather thing

What is that? Oh my God people some people What? There's a kit there are it wasn't a kickstart It was a go fund to me or something Basically said we've invented an underwater breather that converts all the oxygen, you know, you're breathing like a fish essentially. It's converting the oxygen in the water into a breathable source of air for you to, you can just

stay underwater indefinitely. That's impossible. Yeah, every scientist, everybody, you know, every expert in the field is like, this is complete bullshit. You need like a thousand times the power that this thing's putting out to convert enough air. It needs to convert more. It needs to have water flowing through it faster than like a fire hose. You can't just put on a snor.

that turns into your mouth? Apparently not. Or there's somebody like, yeah, you can have, you can, like, maybe you don't have a nuclear reactor attached to your face and might be able to push enough energy through it. There should really be like a scam button on Kickstarter. But it's fucked up. That's the problem with Indiegogo because it's like these people,

like, it's funny too because you get these people who say stuff like, help me through college. I'm a, you know, like it says all this stuff. Like, it's like, oh, I'm a trans autistic, clubbed foot, half blind. And they get $7. Yeah. And they get like $7,000 of what they're asking for because they put out, they say a bunch of stuff that the disorders they have.

And they're like, give me money. And people give them money. Yeah. But here's the fucked up thing about that story. They almost got a million dollars. And then enough people called them out and they're like, okay, we're going to refund your money. We're going to relaunch the kickstart. And then they're like, by the way, oh, yeah, that wasn't, that was all bullshit.

We actually just have air canisters in this device. And people just started giving them money again. They're like, you're just blatantly lied. You completely lied the first time. Now you're probably lying again. Even though it sounds more plausible, it's still complete lies. And people are like, yeah, oh, yeah, here, here's your money. Indigo sucks in comparison to Kickstarter because it's like, Enigogo is like, you still get the money even if you don't make it.

Yeah. So these people go on there, like, kids, they go on there and they're like, they're like, give me stuff so I can buy a new computer. It's like, they just like, they put their, they're like, I want to be able to play games. I just don't know. I just want to be able to play games and they have their Indigo go up there. It works for some people. But it's like, I don't understand how these people think that they can just be, like, I'm gonna make an indie gugum, people are gonna give me money.

It's like, you kind of need a catch. You need to be disorderly, or you need to use buzzwords, because no one's gonna give me any fucking money if you don't use any of those. Pretty much. Sorry, that's how it is. Have you guys seen the old Superman cartoon from the 30s or 40s? No. The one that was well animated?

Really, really well animated. It's crazy well-animated. There's a cool little feature on YouTube I saw talking about it. Yeah, that's why I'm talking about it myself. The Snoop Dog feature? No. Superman. Snoop a shitty joke.

And he said, Superman. It's still on YouTube. It's not funny. Why is it still on YouTube? What was that even? What did that? That's their funny halal, April Fool's joke. I know that, but what happened?

I never actually clicked it. What happened? It's just him watching videos, and you can watch it in 360 view. You can watch him watching a video in 360 view. But it's the video you clicked on? No. It's only a few, pretty much, right? YouTube picks their best videos on YouTube like Charlie bit my finger.

And then you click Snoop Vision. Then you watch Snoop Dog inside of a cinema with a 360 view of... So he watches it. They paid him in a movie. million dollars to watch like 10 videos. Yeah and he's not giving a commentary or nothing. He's just like, man, that's whack. It's like, yeah. This whole year's April Fool's jokes sucked. Even Google's sucked up. They got so much shit. Google, uh, they like got people fired from their job. Yeah. Well, I mean, like, well, I mean, like, well, the other one too, like the Google, the VR mask thing was just this,

such a tired idea. It's a VR mask, but it isn't. It's just you're looking through like a cardboard box or something. You don't think it's funny? Come on, Jeff. I know, I know. I'm out of touch. But yeah, that old Superman cartoon is really cool. Do you know why no one talks about it or likes it? It's because all those old cartoons have really creepy sound.

I think that's the reason. I think it is. Like, whenever I watch those old cartoons from the 30s and 40s, they're unwatchable, not because of the visuals, which are amazing. It's just because you're listening to those. It's like they're talking true of Tin Can all the time. And the music sends like creepy fucking old men playing just trombones together. It's like, superhero called Super Pooper Scover Man?

Super Pooper Superman? No. I'm gonna make him Go? Okay. You do that. I like the idea. I like the reason how that pretty much the animators invented Superman's flying superpower just to save on time because he used to be able to jump over buildings. That was his

super power. And the animators are like, yeah, fuck this. Because they have to animate him jumping all this. Whatever they say, 1930 that equated to fuck this. Well, Superman was like, you know, at first he was like faster than a speeding bullet. And he was like fast as like faster than Hold on a locomotive. It's like way quicker than that.

Superman. He can jump a building in a single... He can jump over buildings in a single bound. Yeah, that was it. But yeah, fuck that. Like, nobody wants to jump around. Does I'm saying, Superman is just a superhero where people are like,

they're like two kids fighting. It's like, I shot you. You know, uh, I had an impenetrual shield. You can't shoot me. It's a bird. It's a plane. Yeah. No, it's Superman.

That's why it's like, it's impossible to watch because of how they're talking than that weird, what do you call a transatlantic accent? Everybody in the 19, the 1940s and 50s talk like this. They didn't though. Lucky cigarettes. The villains look like something It's like a breath of fresh air.

The villains look like something like a dick tracy. I wish they'd re-released it with like newer sounds so people would be like cool because when you watch it. Why don't you do a new voiceover? I'll do a new voiceover. It's not just the voice. It's mostly the music.

The music's so like shit. Yeah, it's just that shitty old Disney sound was like It's crazy. I think what did that cartoon say? Like every episode was a half a million dollar budget? Yeah. Was that in counting for inflation or not?

I have no idea. And that's like $30 million. back then or something. That's a lot of money. But then again, that's when there were only like three television stations and almost half the country

was watching wanted every time every point in time. There was like every TV show back then had way higher viewership than it does now. Oh,

they didn't really have much options. No. Everybody fucking watched NBC, CBS. They had never seen anything like Superman back then. It was like crazy shit there. And the cool thing is

that you know the way Superman's like too overpowered and kind of boring? Yeah. Those cartoons show him like struggling all the time so it's like fun to watch. That's what's upsetting

It's like he had like so much Characteristic back then now he just became an empty shell of what he used to be Now he's just his boring assholes I've never really liked them I don't either I don't like him because he's a character where He just stuff makes people just make shit up about him all the time He's just a made up guy who just like obviously he's made up but he's like they just make up powers for him so he can't die I really hate it I hated Superman until I saw that game injustice and they make him the bad guy and you're like cool

It's like the only way he's like cool to me The other thing too is I think about it like this like what characters today, like in superhero characters, are, they're just surviving solely on nostalgia and not because they're good ideas. Like, imagine if somebody wrote Superman today. And they're like, he's just this perfect guy and

green glowing space rocks are his only weakness. Like, who wouldn't be thrown out of a meeting trying to pitch this idea? Like, it's kryptonite. They'd be thrown out. They'd be thrown out anyways. It's like, really? Is he straight white male too? That's why, like, Captain America is like a better version. Captain America is like the better version of Superman because he has like he has his weaknesses and like he can die and shit Captain America is cool and practical

It's just like a super strong dude I always hated the idea of kryptonite It's just dumb you throw a rock at him and he's like oh power Oh And they're coming up with red kryptonite and yellow kryptonite and Yeah red makes him angry and blue makes him sad Yellow makes him hungry is there blue kryptonite He eats like the world's food supply Yellow Cryptonite

He's like He's just like pissing all the time On the fire yellow cup the night Pooop the night is brown Lex Luthor just says all these like Colorful Rocks he just keeps fucking tossing on Superman stuff keeps happening Cory what would uh pink kryp the night do

Make him horny and he just immediately He just immediately grabbed Lex Luthorne Fuck it in the face Lex Luthor's like I've misinterpreted this situation You'd fucking knock over Stupid rocks

And then fly away What's green kryptonite do Green weakens him Oh yeah God Chris Don't you know the Superman I thought it would make him jealous And me

White kryptonite would Blind him so he can't fucking see When he gets white kryptonite Yellow would turn him into an emoticine Start XD and everything Space are just He turns him into a meme lord Super meme lord

Just watch his internet videos all day That's if you throw the matrix rocks at him Like the fucking matrix colored rock He turns into a troll He turns into a troll He's just typing at super speed Trolling the entire world at once It's like then you have to stop him

It's like kids are killing themselves Lots of right He's become a minute Oh his kids are killing themselves Thousands a minute Because he's trolling It's like the opening of the happening of kids just falling out of giant buildings

in Likunis. You're just calling them, causing all these kids and kill themselves all over the world. What a polka dot kryptonite, dude. That's dangerous. Pokeda dot. This poison, it fucking kills you, man. He's an idiot. That's green. No, that weakens him. What about Waldo colored striped kryptonite? Waldo

Wow, now we're getting hard. Waldo, he sits down and reads a nice book of Where's Waldo? It's the worst one of them all, because he loses perception of what's happening about it. And he's like, there's the dog. He starts looking for Waldo in real life He just can't find him

So he's frustrated Whippin leaves Earth and never comes back What about red, white and blue, kryptonite? Oh, he just turns into Captain America He just like throw it out and he's like Now you're kind of weaker No I don't know

I think this is a good idea Comic designers Hit me up The different colored Luther Luther creates krytes And they all do different stuff Different fun unique flavors

And he gives them to a bunch of different people So people are throwing fucking rocks at Superman and he's doing all the shit. You imagine me the most powerful man in the world and people just are in colored rocks like totally altering your brain reception of everything. You just like turn angry, turn happy, turn sad. These colored rocks. I mean, how fucking emasculated most of you feel.

These colored rocks are destroying your brain. He just created out of my fucking color of rocks. He really don't like Superman. Like Superman's trying to say something. So some asshole throws a blue rock out of him and he fucking drops the building. He just starts crying. uncontrollably. I think that's what people would do is just fucking throw rocks in him.

I think it's funny. But he has their like Superman rocks just in case. Oh man, what about orange? Orange he gets fucking lit on fire and he's weak at the same time so he feels it. It just sets him on fire. He's like just leaves, stay away from the orange ones. Okay, beige. What about macaroni orange?

Macaroni turns into a cheese monster. He throw macaroni one out of. He starts puking up mac and cheese. He can't stop. He turns into a cheese monster Yeah, you're just vomiting cheese and just crying I'd leave this planet immediately And this happened

I'd be like, I don't know what to fuck happen Where you were able to alter like the reality of life And fuck this I can fucking survive in space This is bullshit What about see-through? See-through? It turns them into glass

And they fucking shatters in place Okay, one last one Chrome It turns him into a fucking Chromebook And I fucking smash this And it's gonna post that Chromebook You're an idiot

Turns him to a shitty computer. They can't play games. And then like fucking... Lex Luthor goes out to him and grabs him and starts putting viruses on him. And he's like, no! On the screen. He turns out of gangbanger Superman. It goes riding around a load rider.

Like chrome teeth. Scaring all the white people. Blasting music, blasting away their fucking houses. See, that would be it. Like a cool, unique new Superman. Yeah, you hear that DC universe? It's the most like gangster guy gets turned into Superman. Yeah.

That would be a cool movie. He just turns black. Chrome, like, Chrome, Gryphine makes them black. No, I mean, like, a really, like, gangster kind of one. That was a good topic. That was nonsense. But it's true.

Like, it's such a dumb, like, it's, like, all these other superpowers, all these super people have weaknesses, and his weakness is just green rocks from the alien planet that doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, but Lex Luthor found it all scrunched up. And he found the rocks that rained from the, rain from Superman's planet.

He said, caught him, and then he used the technology. Poor Kryptonians. They had nothing to worry about while their planet was whole. Who knows the center of their planet Contained all these fucking terrible Colored rocks That would fucking kill them

Exposed to it at any point It is funny It is like really ironically funny It's like the only thing that can kill Superman is himself Yeah, it sucks Something poetic about that The end Tune in next week

Or don't