SleepyCabin - SleepyCast S2:E20 - [Obliteration Circumcisions]

Episode Date: April 30, 2016

The complex science behind how color affects the human psyche | Horror movies and their hard-on for vibrantly colored blood | Being the victim of bullies, then returning the favor | Fun with Fireworks | Wand-crafting. Also dangling dicks in front of children while naked men with bow-ties feed them fruit from a bowl. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Your hosts for the evening: JohnnyUtah (www.johnnyutah.newgrounds.com) Oney (www.youtube.com/user/OneyNG) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/user/Spazkidin3D) Niall (www.youtube.com/user/CryBurgers) Podcast editing by: Niall - Initial edit Jakub Z - Main Edit Ricepirate - Final Pass +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Shane Danells . Ryan Pagonis . Creeps McPasta Jace Baker . Denis DeLong . Liam Staley Sonny Canchola . Susparty . Paul Raymond Lucas Boucher . ubernoobinator . Matt Gronhovd Rodolfo Davis Millet . Corbin Record . Andrew Dore Elecktricd00m . Sparky . Dani Rucker Dazzanator . Conner St. John . Phillip Tafoya Yuval Birenzweig . Dan Jakab . Chaney Rockwell Chris Moore . Shane Liesse . Blake Bevill Bill Zhuang And to ALL our lovely patrons

There is a world as tangible as our own. Impossible to see yet. Unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Very deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin. It's a bunch of guys.

He's a bunch bullshit. Welcome to Sleepycast. I'm your host, Sleepycast. I'm here with Nile. Hey, guys. Are Nile. Hi, I'm Jeff, Chris. Jeff, you look really mad.

It's Jeff, Chris. You look like you had a hard day's work. It's because your shirt matches the color of the wall. It's upsetting me. Yeah, Chris, why are you just a floating head? Chris is like, needs an orange screen right now. Sorry. Anyway, also, there's Corey.

Everyone's lovable oaf. Hey. Hey. Chris, did you know that being surrounded in red, like, and it will enrage you? Like, being around red, because I used to have, I used to actually have my room and my mom's. to be completely painted red because it used to be my sisters. You spent like four days painting it and then she ended up moving out a week later.

So I moved in and the room was just pig blood red. It was just vile, vile red. It was really... Pig blood and human blood. Pig blood is vibrant and glows. So it was really, it was just like this really creepy over-the-top red room and since I always just the glow of my screen with this vibrant red around me. Do you think it's better we record in a reddish-orange room?

Yeah, because it's fucking... I like red rooms. It's this high... I think red rooms are comfortable. I think a blue room would be too depressing. Blue would probably put a... I grew up in a movie start. My room was like baby blue and I loved it.

Let's talk about... Wait, wait, wait. We talked about too many colors last time. No, Corey brought up a good point. Yeah. Pig blood. Don't you just hate it when you see a movie and the blood looks like jam?

Oh my God, yeah, it's fucking like bioluminescent. Like, when you see... A nice good old-fashioned, let's watch people die video on the internet. Their blood is always like bright pink, kind of. No, it's not, it's fucking black. It's like murky red. It's not black.

It's almost black with the highlights of red. That's what it is. Well, Jeff was showing me his collection of death videos, and I thought that they were all... Jesus, Jeff. What's the difference between... You guys and your shitty videos. Movie blood looks like shit, Jeff.

Explain what. I mean, if you watch shitty movies, it looks like shit. Well... If you're watching old shitty movies... A lot of the movies... It's like exploding tomatoes on the side of their faces. A lot of the movies where the blood looks kind of pinker from like the 80... Like when it was compressed VHS, they didn't think of the HD?

What I was saying, you guys, okay, what color do you think? Do you think they make it brighter on purpose because it might look too dark? I think it's very, it's like black with... Whenever I see blood in a fucking, in a scary death picture on the internet, it's always like bright red. Oh, that's when it's like trailing down the fucking curb after, like, the character. Yeah, you know. What's your favorite blood cell? Red blood cells or white blood cells?

I like Moses Jones. I like white blood cells because white blood cells protect me from all of the different. various diseases. Acceptable answer. I don't know if it's true or not. Would you rather suck a red blood cell or a white blood cell off your finger? Red blood cells because they're tasty. Let's let's just review Osmosis Jones. I like the part when he drops an egg from the monkey eating it and then he eats it and

get it. That's the scot. I hate that movie. When I was a kid I watched it and I just got sick watching that fucking movie. That sounds like a Tom Green movie. I've never seen it. It is disgusting. He gets that and he gets like AIDS.

There's like a guy who comes in who's AIDS and just shuts down parts of the body. He has this like big long finger that cuts into like bacterial things. Is that what happens? Of course, not explaining it very well. Basically, this is the whole plot of the movie.

That is what happens. He drops an egg and monkeys like mine and he eats it. You're not doing it right. He has monkey aids. This is the movie. Bill Murray, man works at zoo, goes up to monkey in cage.

Monkey eat the egg, puts it in the monkey's mouth, and the monkey spits it out onto the floor next to Bill Murray. Bill Murray picks it up and puts it in his mouth and now he's got a little bacteria in his body. AIDS. But now you go into his body and everyone's a cartoon, right? Everyone's like a cool cartoon character.

this little bacteria has a big long finger, he pokes things and they like die horribly. What's the better... It's not age. What's the better movie? Osmosa Jones or Interspace, starring Steve Martin and Martin Shore. What that fuck is... No, Steve Martin, no, Steve Martin isn't it? No, it's the other guy in Martin Shore.

The, uh... Never mind, who cares. Polly Shore? I like Interspace. Why Polly Shore? It's an adventure. Are you talking about, um... I've never heard of Interspace.

You're talking about biodome? Interstellar. No. You're such a fagin! God! No, it's basically Martin Short gets... A guy gets put in Martin Short's body accidentally. Oh, is that like the whole thing where it's like,

we need to shrink down and fix him from the inside? Yeah, but it's like a whole ad... It's like he's in a lab and then somebody breaks in a lab and steals the syringe with him in it and injects him into the wrong person or something. Cool. And then it turns into an adventure comedy for Martin Short X quaggy.

I've never heard of it, so it can't be that great, Jeff. It's all right. Only movies over seven on Metacritic are good, idiot. medically. Have any of you ever watched a good movie in your entire lives? I've seen. I can't name any good movies. Interstellar.

That was good. It was pretty sweet. It wasn't even that good. It was sweet, though. It was cool to look at. Soundtrack, I like the soundtrack a lot. I never saw Interstellar. Movie is sweet.

I heard mixed messages from it. It was really long, but it looked nice the whole way through. I had a cool concept. Matthew McConaughey is a fucking... I could talk about this for a while, but let's just change the subject. Well, I wanted to talk about something. I had an interesting topic this morning. Interesting.

Tell us your topic, Corey. Well, it was the discussion that came up. I think we were talking about mascots and how pointless they are nowadays. Pointless. Yeah, like they're pointless. But kids like mascots. But kids like mascots. Like, well, let me prove my argument.

But it's like you remember McDonald's or like Ronald McDonald's. Yeah. They kind of got rid of all that, didn't they? Nowadays it's become like a kind of like murkyish brown, almost like the college hangout room where it's just like this boring colors where like people go to work and stuff. McDonald's? Yeah. McDonald's is like brown. I don't know. What? But you do get McDonald's that are a mix of like play places still.

But for the most part, they're not as common as you'd think. They're actually more common of just having just the restaurant and they're just very bland. Like they take away the red. I mean, the red's always going to be in like the happy meals and it's all for kids. Like, you know, you get the happy meals and it's red and yellow and bright and obnoxious. But for the parents, it's like, you know, orange and yellow and brown. Are you telling me you're not a fan of the hamburger? No, I hate, I fucking hate McDonald's mask. What about Grimmis? Burger King. Grimmis is fucking hot. They had the Burger King.

Grimus is the purple guy. Yes. Wait, who's Grimus belongs to? He's got a big, hairy ass. Exactly. Furia.

Sorry. Let's not be sexy. But, um, no, but you guys are actually right. When I was a kid, I never liked any of those mascots. No,

when I was a small kid. Absolutely. Oh, no. Grimmis is McDonald's. It's a purple. I, and hamburger is Burger King. No.

No. The Burger King, Burger King is Burger King. Oh, yeah. What is? You know that? Dochebag who smiles? They made terrible Xbox games.

I did like those, I did like those Bergen commercials. Yeah, but they can't do that anymore because like it's kind of cost prohibitive to use mascots. Even when I was a kid though. It's just that, just a house is a mask. Well, it's like they have to like. The costume, the Halloween costume. It's just it doesn't really attract anyone anymore.

Like back then it's like, I guess an argument would be like, well, maybe corporate mascots are kind of, the sports mascots are still. No, see, what I mean is I mean things like, um, not like restaurants, places where people eat and stuff. You know, sports mascots are always going to be there because mascots are like, For everybody for families and stuff, but you also need mascots for serials like tricks and like Captain Crunch Why? Why do you need count? Chocula for kids? Because kids will see that and they'll be like oh the tricks rabbit I was a kid I always knew was like a way to appeal to the kids even when I was a kid I was like Yeah, but nowadays like you know I'm not gonna you know you're not convinced to get a mascot You're not gonna get a serial because of a mascot nowadays. You're gonna get it because you like it

You guys remember cigarette mascots? They were all killed. Yeah, they were taking off Joe Camel Joe Camel was murdered. What do you mean murder? The Barbaro Man died of lung catching. Do you mean they were actually like animated into murder? They were just deleted from the existence. The Beersteen bears. Along with the...

They were a pair of the Bearstein bears. The Bearstein bears. The beersteen bears. What were they from? The Bears' kids' books. They have nothing to do with beer. What? They're all in this world.

They're absolutely drinking moonshine. They're a bunch of hick bears that live in the woods and fuck each other. No, but yeah, when you're a kid, you're like, Coco the monkey, who gives a shit? I want my cocoa pops Exactly You would only care if Okay

This is all little boys Care about right Robots Action men Fucking Fucking Power Rangers If you have them on the front Then the little boy

Will want that box That's the only way Yeah if we don't care about A stupid fucking monkey Holding a fucking bowl of cocoa pops And like throwing in your face We need to be neutral We can't have

Fucking killer Yeah but that's still not gonna sell For either boys or girls Girls will only want it If Barbie's on the front Or fucking brats are on the front Oh that's sexist What if a girl

That's fucking is true What if a girl wants a baseball playing barbie. Remember when frozen came out? I saw like where's that cereal Chris? I saw like frozen fucking everything like frozen toilet paper frozen fucking yeah and Elsa's on the front and the little girls will want to buy it because like I love Elsa. That's what I mean like it's like they could honestly just replace mascots with popular things that people like nowadays get ready for all the people screaming like yeah boys can like Elsa too or girls can like I know that you fucking idiot talking about the majority boys are not allowed to like Elsa

boys that like Elsa need to be beaten into being a man they like Elsa they like Elsa Anna for other reasons. You are a chauvinistic pig. You are the same on this misogynistic society. You're a beast lesbian with a shitty child and you're up you want your kid to be How can a lesbian have a child care? Listen you know, I'm like all the other little boys You want to raise your child to be a sissy retard idiot. I'm like all the other little boys That cries about everything there goes nowhere. There's a lot of like post online work people are like I'm not gonna let my kid be straight Fucking disgusting. He will be queer. It's like what are you talking about so what are they're gonna have people fucking That kid is gonna grow up the most like stress fucking wreck in the world

Of course they are just like the parent. Do you believe in nature or nurture? I had this argument on a stream the other day Nature or no show us that it's like you know like someone's born gay or are you turned gay Wait you're born gay wait before we jump before we jump into this um we still want to talk about like mascots so you think mask mascots for sports are understandable it's what keeps it team like, you know, you're not just going to have like, like, you've seen with the Bulls mascot? Yeah. You've you seen that compilation of the Bulls mascot doing his Bulls thing? No.

He's got to be like the best mascot in NBA or now. Mm-hmm. He's so, you're dick. The guy is like, he's like a master, like, gymnast. He's incredible just playing basketball in a fucking full furry suit. Yeah. And, you know, he does crowd work. He knows how to entertain evil.

Yeah, you don't get that with the fucking tricks rather. I'm impressed. I'm impressed. You know, typically. I get that. Those kind of mascots. What do you think about the mascots that stand outside fucking H&R block with like, well,

this is fucking... What I'm talking about with like mascots and shit? Like Wendy's like fucking Pippi Longstocker. You can get rid of it at any point. You can just have her. Nobody's like, I'm going to Wendy's for Pippi Longstocking. No, not go to fucking Wendy's for Pippi Longstock and I'm not going to KFC to see the Colonel smiling face.

I don't get a fuck. I go to KFC to see the Colonel smiling face. I go for their horrible chicken. This is an endorsement. for KFC. When I was a little kid, when I was a very small child and I visited America, I didn't want to go to Wendy's because it was Pippi Longstock as girl. I was like, that's gay. I want to go to McDonald's where they got the clown. No, that's not true either. Yeah, you just don't want Pippi Longstock. All you want is for your mom to get you fries and bring him home.

Can I tell a short story about a mascot? I forgot the word for a second. A mascot. Every time I drive down the word to work, there's a the tax place. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And this guy. Liberty? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he pays a person every tax season or multiple people to stand out on the road dressed as...

That's what I was saying. Dress as the Statue of Liberty. But it's always funny because not only distracting and miserable people, but it's always never just like a nice looking mom or something. It's always like this miserable-looking black dude or like an angry teenager or an old man. It's like the most unlikely people to be dressed as a statue of liberty. And they all, they're just pacing around in a... circle like the most miserable human beings alive. Or they're sitting on their window with their sign next to their legs on their phone.

Especially if you like people who walk by and like you want to access. I understand sports mascots, but the ones that that actually just look sad that stand outside of thing. Even when they try to look happy, they look sad. When they're doing their little dance or whatever, you just feel terrible. Who the fuck is excited? Who's like, oh, did you see Liberty Texas mascot? I was so excited. I actually worked as a sign holder for a while. Wait, can we just go back in time for a second? When you were a four year old, an actual four-year-old kid, do you remember looking at costumes and thinking in your four-year-old brain, that is a man in the suit, and I do not care about that man in the suit. Yeah, yeah. Why did, no one cares. That doesn't do anything except make you feel

bad for the guy degrading himself in the suit. You guys are a bunch of haters. Even when you go to Disneyland, kids aren't thinking, I met Cinderella, they're like, I met the woman dressed in Cinderella, wow. I think little some now. No, it depends on hatred. It's like the people believe in Santa Claus. I always knew. I was not a smart kid, but everyone

knew it. No one fucking is tricked. It's obvious because you're always like, mom, is that Sant? And they're like, no, it's one of Santa's helpers. It's like, what's the fucking point then? Yeah, I don't want to be one of the big, but the big boy. It's actually to watch videos of like Disney World videos or people like, you know, you see a video of like, you know, this video, oh, there's this kid hugs a person in a mascot.

I can only imagine the person in the suit. It's just some angry guy and he's trying to use this stupid smiling mask on and he's, I don't know, I just imagine him like grimacing inside the mask as he's dancing up and down the street. I used to... Imagine crying. I used to have a friend. I say friend in air quotes, because he wasn't actually my friend,

but he was an acquaintance I met online that despised me. He despised me. No, he's not me, but he despised me. Did he troll him? Yeah, I was... Okay, to be fair... To be fair, okay, he was, like, 18 and I was 15. So he was like...

By the time he was 20 and I was like 17, he was still like holding a vendet against him, and I'm like, you need to move on, stop being such a baby. And like, eventually, like, he just went, crazy, but he spends most of his time going to Disneyland and bothering the same fucking people

in the outfits. He's like, he's like best friends with the Stitch mascot and the goofy mascot, and I'm just under the impression that they probably don't give a fuck, they're just like... They're not like the same person. No, no. Different people. Yeah, exactly. Every day. So they probably see him, they like, he goes back to Stitch every fucking

year, being like, hey Stitch, I love you. Every day, because he goes to the, he goes to the karaoke bar or whatever, and he sits around and hanging out with Stitch, taking selfies. He's like, hanging out my friend's stitch and stitch is just like you know like bored holding his mascot head but sometimes he has to be like that when he's like outside but what he's inside what he's inside he's like that's kind of like really deranged and sad yeah that's like the worst kind of person ever yeah that's why i kind of broke that bond we had together because he sound like a mental

like that poor stitch guy is going to be leaving and he's going to invite him into his um his mom's pickup truck and he's gonna wake up in an unfortunate area i feel terrible for those fucking Disneyland mascots wearing like in the scorch and heat because usually they're in like really hot places. I'd say in the future they're going to get little fucking drones or projectors and project fucking 3D holograms dancing around so I don't got to worry about that maybe hopefully. A lot of them seem happy

at least the ones that's because there's a big fucking stitched smile on there are there are ones that play human characters and they don't have to wear the costume but they have to be those people have to be on their game. That guy who played Gaston blew his fucking face off. I was about to say that yeah yeah there was a really good Gaston and Disney World

I've seen video I saw there was a yeah I saw like the videos and there was two guys playing him. Yeah, one of those guys, the famous one, died. No one blows his own head out, really. He held a firework in his hand and lit it on the 4th of July. There's also a bunch of like, killed him. There's also a bunch of accusations. I'm gonna fact chat. No. He's also a lot of... didn't he try to shoot an apple off his head with the fucking... Oh, come on now. I'm not, no, you can look it up, it's true. There's also accusations of like, like, the people dressed up that get caught, like, dittling kids and stuff. So it's like, it's like almost like a pedophile ring almost in its own way. But, but, but...

But like people consider... I wouldn't say that. Well, it is. Because it's like, where are you gonna... Okay, think of it this way. You're hungry for kids. Where are you gonna go? You're not gonna go to fucking...

You go to Chuckie Cheeses or you're gonna go to Disneyland. Take your pick because they're both harbor the most kids. It's where people go for dreams. I'd say fucking Disneyland is the most heavily security camera place in the world. It is. But it's also like a place where people capture pedophiles. Right. This is fact.

Like, people go there to meet kids and it's like the easiest place to catch pedophiles because they're just like... You know they're hanging out waiting for kids and it's like you know obviously it is heavy but it's also like considered like one of the worst places to work Like Disneyland is considered a horrible place like I think it was like mosh mouse wits or whatever It's they like that's the name that was the happiest place on it little Chisholm yeah like there's this underground tunnel that all the mascots have to go through because they're not supposed to be seen going Do you think that's like kind of oh Jeff Jeff just fact checked it? I just saw it man I didn't mean the live feed of his face blowing on

The Disney actor who won the hearts as Gaston has died and a fireworks accent over the weekend. According to the news, Devon Staples placed a fireworks mortar tube on his head and set it off. He deserved it. I think the Apple thing was made up. He did deserve it. What kind of fucking idiot is like, who to... Gaston? That's just Gaston. That's not even like a freak accent. That's pretty much premeditated suicide. That's karma. No one blows his own head up in a... God damn it. What happens to me? No one kills himself. No one blows his face like Gastar, no one charts his face like a stout. No one dies like Gustav.

Fucked up. No one falls down to death. His friends like gesta. No one blows off his hands like a star. In the world it's meek and shitty. I'm dead. I don't know the rest of it. This is mean. I'd say that guy was the nicest, coolest guy ever.

You seem really charismatic. He was drunk and decided to put fireworks at his hair. There he's probably on fucking meth. I always feel bad for little kids who whose parents let them have black cats They always blow off their fingers with him every fucking year. It's like fucking parent I just to play Harry Potter with Roman Candle why would you give your kid fucking fireworks? It's so stupid My dad had a friend like that he'd come over for the 4th of July. He'd light the M80s and he'd throw them so they'd blow up mid air That's crazy. That's stupid like I cannot stand that shit Strong and loud little fucking explosive things. There's always one guy who's like you know the fireworks master and then they always like drop one and

everyone runs, fucking it explodes and almost kills her body. I'm not even sure where they're legal on him. I know they're legal on a few states, but not here. They were illegal in my state, but you had to go to like the woods. So you had to be on like an area away from town. So you go to the woods. To use them. You have to go to the woods.

They probably should be regulated. Like they aren't explosives. Yeah. Absolutely. And they are. That's why they're illegal. I'm not really a fan of doing fireworks. Every fourth of July.

It's like all you hear all days like, and you're like, how are they not getting caught right now? I hate the Fourth of July. Me too. Me too. Because even if you did get the fireworks, you're not the richest man in the world, so you're not going to go out and get the $600 ones. You're going to get the little shitty ones. You're going to have fun for like an hour.

They have a massive fireworks show really close to where I live, and it's just my apartment is shaking for like 40 minutes every four. I just like, oh my God, stop. Not to mention, like Chris said, like the prior four days, people are shooting fireworks off nonstop, just never rest. After it. Yeah, and after. That's Halloween in Ireland for like all of October, everyone's like, ah ha, all these

fucking traveler kids are-kills. Yeah, you walk over to your window and look at it. You see one firework every five minutes. You're like, cool. It's like bottle rockets are better because they're like, they're bottle rockets. So if there is any damage, it's only gonna hurt you within a certain area. I'm afraid of fireworks. I don't like fireworks.

I'm not afraid. I think they're kind of cool. I like the little black snake fireworks. You ever see the video where the fireworks show had a malfunction and it set off 30 minutes to fireworks in about five seconds. It's like smacking off cars. Just set the whole thing up in one in like seconds and it was like a bomb going.

The black guy's like, shit man, get out of here. Who accidentally did that? The computer, I don't know, the computer was... Yeah, it's all... They said they ran because there's like fucking, there's a huge thing of fireworks and it's all programmed because you can't,

you're not going to put your little... I always wonder, I was like... If I recall, they were running a, like a test in the computer quickly like ran through all like the switches I guess for some reason something was on when it shouldn't have been they're testing connections and that they were live and that costs a lot of money that's like $5,000

that's not cheap that $10,000 yeah more than that yeah no it's like 20 to 30 grand I would have said probably yeah closer to 20 30 grand for that just because it's like paid the fucking like you know it's like a big event so it's like paid for parks and shit but we're talking about fireworks you know those like shitty tank fireworks They have like a, they're like, you see them when you're a kid, you're like, wow, a tank, a tank that moves.

And then you turn it on and it flips over immediately and fucking explodes. You know, it has like all these like doodads. Like it's actually going to roll. And it's just like, pss, like that and it fucking explodes. It's underwhelming. All fireworks are underwhelming. All fireworks are underwhelming. Don't go to bargain bin of fireworks stands.

You're not going to get the best. Oh, man, never. Like, you blow your own fucking. Oh, God. You want a good. way to die, go to a bargain in fireworks places, malfunctioning fireworks is the best fireworks. It's probably the weakest ones, too.

They just probably don't even light happening. There was like a big pile of like a fireworks store of like fireworks that like were rained on so they don't know if they worked or not and they would like put like sale prices on them and stuff. It's like would you really do a gamble of something that's marked down like $20 and you literally spend like $20

that could or could not work. It's an explosive too that's like it's like explosive that might blow up. It should be free because it's like not function. Do you hate people that put sparklers in birthday cakes? Just sparks are just flying on the birthday cakes. Yeah, they put it in the birthday.

I'm so sick of those people who put those candles that, like, relight after you blow them out. It's the same joke every time. It's like the meme of candles. It's like, I get it. I don't you do that's my dad. Can we everybody stop the whole blowing the candles out on the birthday cake thing? I know. We just stop doing that.

Breath and spit. I know. Make a wish. I never liked that stuff when I was a kid. because I would see the kid blowing up the candle and spinning all over it and I'm like, now I can't eat it so I wouldn't eat it.

It's like we're still just such a caveman thing to do blow out all the candles. It should give you like one of those Japanese fans and just you fan it out that way. That's what you should do. Jeff, do you remember any of your birthday wishes? No.

Just I probably wished for like more toys or something stupid. Do you Chris? I wished for a puppy at least a hundred times when I was here one. Yeah and then we got rid of it because he was too crazy. I had a dog with a kid.

He was sick all the time. Oh man. The first dog. What was his name, Jeff? Winston. Winston. That's a good name for a dog. The first dog I got... My mom wanted a dog called Toto, so we got a dog, and we called a Toto.

It was a little fucking sheep dog, and it used to... It was the snappiest little cunt ever, so it would just, like, it would bite me and stuff, and then we were all scared of it. So my dad was like... My dad was like, we have to get rid of it, and he's like, we brought it to the farm. And then when I was, I was like, oh. And then when I got older, I was like... Yeah, like a year ago.

Yeah, yeah. Like, it just dawned me like a year ago, where I was like, wait a minute! You fucking... killed it and then I called up my dad. I was like, he was like, no, I actually brought it to a farm. And that was like... You brought up an interesting topic. You were saying something about like gays? Gays? The gay disease?

Gay's. The nature, nature, the gays. AIDS. AIDS. What about gay? You were saying nature or nurture. I was, I was only mentioned because now brought up. You were saying something about being born gay or... Yeah, I was saying that nature or nurture. What do you, what do you think? What is nature or nurture? You think gay people are born... I don't know how nature, I don't know what in society could just turn people from not gay to gay. I don't know.

I'm just assuming they're, I'm just assuming they're born gay. You don't have to be born gay. Well, it's like whenever you get turned on by something, you don't know what it is as a kid. Do you think like if a kid, just say a random kid, little Timmy, and every screen he sees like meat spin is on until he's like 20, would he be gay? Or is it like, oh, is he... What? No. Every screen he sees his meat spin.

Yeah. It's literally... So he has a constant watch with meets in time. Yeah, he's like, that's like, lines fucking dudes. Wait, I mean, male dudes. Male lions. That's a good point.

It's when you see like the, the, the, When you see a male dog, fucking another gay dog, it's just because he wanted to put his dick in something to get off. Yeah. I just don't know what dark magic you could put on somebody go from hating dicks to thirsting for dicks. Well, it's like when people try. You can't. There you go.

Well, there was like that one weird study. Dicks. It's not really the same kind of thing, but it was like, um, it was like this person who was like, who was born, it was born a guy, and then the parents, it was like a test they wanted to do. Oh no, it wasn't a test. You're thinking about the guy who accidentally, the doctor tried circumcising a little boy, but he cut his dick up. Yeah. So the parents were like, we'll raise him as a girl. But then the- tried to convince him that he was a girl. He accidentally cut his dick. Yeah. Yeah, they were trying to circumcise him. How do you, what? It's a doctor-it. It's a real thing. This is not fake. And so they tried to convince him that he was a girl, but he never thought he was.

Yeah, they were like, you are a girl. That's not even like an accidental fit. I don't know. Like, you really have to, like, cut hard. Don't you have to, like, really clamp down to cut? You know what I think? This might be false. I don't know. I'm pretty sure he used an ice pick. An ice pick?

What? Yeah. What, did he hold it down? I'll make sure. I'll make sure. But did the kids give the baby hormones? Okay, wait, check with it. No.

So it just grew up without a day. Circumcision ice pick. I mean, he raised his girl. I think they gave it hormones and shit. You're going to get some serious fucking gnarly results there, Chris. Two guys. ice pick, one ice pick two guys. One pig, ice pick. No, it was one lunatic

one ice pick. That was a video. There it is, David Raymer. Canadian man raised his girl for most of his first 14 years of his life. In a highly tired medical experiment, blah, blah, blah. He died at 38. He committed suicide. Yeah, that's... At eight months of age, Raymer began the unwitting subject of blah, blah,

after his penis was all but obliterated during a bot's circumcision. Obliterated. It's like sticking a fucking firecracker inside. Maybe it's just got an infection or something. Maybe. Yeah, maybe it wasn't a fucking ice pig. Either way, he killed himself because he was, when he found out that he thought, the whole time.

Well, he's a man without a dick. I'd give myself, I didn't have a dick. He cognitively believed he was a guy. Chris. It was an ice pig. What? If your dick did get chopped off, would you just, like, get a pair of tits and become a woman? Or would you live without, like...

Maybe we discuss this. I'd probably, uh, I'd probably wait for science to solve it. So what would you do? Just sit in your room waiting until science solves it? I'd finger where my dick used to be. Oh, God. Ow! Jesus. It would be like,

ah. Or I could just put my finger up my ass and find the prostate, but I've never done that. Yeah, let's talk about a non-degenerate topic. Jeff's getting horny. Yeah, I can't help it. I like that. I have to do.

I guess, I mean, my topic was mascots. That was an interesting topic. I've done mascots. I've retired the mascots. No, I mean, like, that was my topic. Do you ever have that? Do you remember, like, any kind of characters from your childhood? Just any like anyone just kind of like you didn't really know these people that you saw that were like they could kind of put a label on them

Are you talking about complete strangers or actually family members? Just just just kids that were kind of like just characters like Like it's snot boy the boy who always picks his snot Yeah, I mean yeah there's kids I remember Yeah, when I was a kid that was a there was one of them there was a few of them actually one of them was called 1950s kid And he looked like a kid straight out of the 1950s I swear to God I just called him that because his face I don't know he just looked like he was his little like black-haired kid with freckles and he looked like he was his little like black-haired kid with freckles and he looked like like he was from the 50s, he kind of dressed it.

So I was like, oh, it's 1950s kid. I just called him that just because he looked like it. But then, like, he started doing more and more, like, things from the 50s. Like, I'd see him one day and he'd be kicking a can down the street. What, is he like rolling sticks with rolling wheels with sticks? Yeah, he was doing shit like that. What a 50s thing to do, kick a can.

Yeah, he like had his hands in his pockets and he looked down the street and he's like, he's like, I'm feeling blue his kicking. He's straight out of the past. I know. And then like, and then, there was like a sports day with, like, in my kind of, like area where I lived and I uh this kid was running and then he like this other kid was running and then I heard him shout like run you lummox I'm like that word is another like like I don't know is just everything kind of seemed to like work out in the end

this is a kid you know 19 there's a kid I saw yeah it was just a kid I saw it sounds like a terrible superhero now that you mentioned that I realized it wasn't until college that that all my friends are it wasn't until I I don't remember this in like high school but in college like my friends Like we'd call up a names for everybody There was, man, we were so mean, though Like, there was a girl with a big chin We'd just call her Jay Leno. Like, she just had an abnormally large, like,

I wasn't even a chin, it was a jaw. She had a huge jaw, we'd just call her Jay Leno behind her back. That was mean. Then there was an even meaner. There was like an Asian girl we knew. We'd call her the... She had like a really flat face. It's like we'd joke about how she got it in the face,

like a cartoon character, like with a frying pan. They'd call her the Chinese nightmare. I don't know There's a group of A group of like Egyptian guys on campus We just call them like fake people Because they look like white people With like black skin

They didn't look like black people They didn't look real Oh my god It was like real people Did the nickname stick or like was it? We never called it to them to their face We just like oh there's the fake people again There they are

There's another thing I told you before But when I was in there When I was in school We had this like nickname dealer Nicknamed dealer Nickname dealer Nicky-le-de-he'd deal nicknames like he'd he'd make a profit off of it no no but whatever nickname he'd give you That would stick forever why he was just really because he was just really good at it did he have like one of those name labelers that he fucking put on your back

The whole story like this guy was this guy uh like you just say for example like this guy would walk in with a blue huddy He'd just kind of sit down there and just looking him up and down and just go Bluey and then he was like bluey for the rest of fucking school bluey yeah what is this a mafia built school and then and then like uh someone else would walk in him and they'd be like smurf and then like he's like okay you're smurf and then the kid would kind of walk out of the room and then like you wore a green hoodie I walked is the best part I walked in shitting my pants I was like oh come I was I was like Harry Potter with a sorting hat I was like anything but like I was like I was

hoping it would be good and he just lug me up and down this goes Barney I was like that was my faith then I was Barney for like three years could have been worse it's like a rejected recess character Yeah, exactly. He's in the bathroom, he has his desk set up. He's like, hey, bring it in. He's chewing bubble gun, he spits it on the roof. He's like, you look like a Barney.

Get out of my fucking office. At the time, I was like short and fat, so I knew I wasn't going to have it good. And this is just after graduating from the nickname Fudge. I was Fudge for about a year. Fudge! Fudge! It's not a name for you. That's what people call Poudre get called.

Yeah, but I was short and fat, though. Yeah, but Fudge is like, ah, Padraig is food. But I'd eat Nutella sandwiches and sometimes we get on my face, so... Okay, well that's your own fault. You fucking... Is this what like fighter pilots do in the Air Force? They can't nickname themselves. They have their friends nickname them.

They have to put on their fucking helmet and they have to... It has to be their fucking call sign for the rest of their career. Really? Yeah. Yeah. That's what happened to us. Fucking, uh, I gotta tell you funny story that happen with me and Nile there. Yeah. We were, uh...

We were enjoying our nice Subway sandwich as we do, every single day, by the way. But anyway, we were in Subway. Nile decided that he wanted to send a snap of himself to his girlfriend, right? Mm-hmm. So he put on the most creepy fucking pito grin I've ever seen, right? And he hunched over and he looked disgusting, right? I've never seen him look so fucking out of his element in such a nasty way, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he holds his phone up, like, up in the air above him, like looking down on him to take a picture, right? Yeah. And then he fucking realizes that there's a girl looking in the window right at him. Yeah, it looked like he was taking a picture over. Yeah, with a big fucking creepy pito grin. I was sitting by the window and I put I put on this like really fucking ugly face to say you do like a sneaky like a sneaky He looked like an actual creole. Yeah, so but to her I was like pointing the camera at her smiling and I looked at her in the eye while she looked at least I was like and she looked disgusted and angry and fucking hurt why was she and violated but she just no she just walked fast Niles muscles literally just sucked his body as small as he was so embarrassed. My balls like went into my stomach

I dropped my phone. You need one of those Japanese fans that like makes the shutter sound every time to take a picture. Yeah, you fucking creep. No, but she was outside the window. She was like, uh, she was walking. She was looking at the menu, right? There's a menu stuck to the window on the outside. But then she realized she just looked at C's now pointing his phone right at her face. Well, because I wanted to face the window because the light was going. Just for it just because you could have ran out. You should have ran outside and tour of the situation. He'd like, no, no, no. I was trying his, my girlfriend. She ran out. Like it was, that was, she was too far down. right outside and been like, no, wait, I'm sorry

and tripped and grabbed her tits. Yeah, that's what would have happened to. I would have had Chipotle sauce all over my fucking face. No, you should have got up with your phone like this and just walk towards her. Your pants would have fallen down. You would have gotten mayo on her trousers. Well, it looked like you came on her. You should have just held your phone and walked towards

her, like walked outside holding your phone with the creepy green. No. I wish we could see your fucking face. I can just see it. It's like stretched out hand and just walking through it. Yeah, just walked towards her. He's this terrifying.

No, I didn't mean to describe you so meanly. No, that was true. It was trying to put an ugly face. He was wearing- I put on the ugliest face I could do for the picture. You guys are talking about like things, like things that your friends knew yourselves for. Well, there was two kids in my school, um,

Randall and Caleb, that's their name. I know. I don't like it either. Randall, you pick Caleb over Randall? But my, but the... It said, sorry. There's two villains in the Nickel's a media movie. The son is named Caleb and I hate it.

named Caleb and I hate him. I hated for it. But it's like, so they're basically like the school nerds, like the classified school nerds. And I mean I did really horrible shit to them growing up because, you know, it was a jerk. But their dad's was a painter. So he painted things. He painted cars. So he painted like flames on cars and stuff. And so he said, just for no real reason, he said like, my dad's a painter. And then we were like, your dad paints dildos. And then he got so mad. Like he got so fucking mad he threw his books at us and he's like no he paints cars and i'm like yeah like oh dildos yeah he just paints like yeah he just like he said he paints cars and i'm like

no he paints dildos you just told me and everyone around me was like whoa does your dad paint like i was being an asshole because i was just bored that day and it was like kind of his thing where but then he did something really bizarre on the bus where so just to really sink in that i can never like this person. Yeah. I tried to apologize to him for that. And he went up, he sniffed his armpits. And he said, you apologize?

He sniffed both of them before I could apologize. I was just walking up to him. He sniffed both of them. He's like, smells like onions. And I'm like, you're a fucking freak. That was it. I guess it was factually accurate. Dude, the fucking assholes in my school would come up with creative ways to piss you off.

Like, they turn your bag inside out and put all your books back in there. That's cool. really fucking annoying because you're like, or they'd actually go really far. Like they'd open two of your textbooks and put one page in the page of another textbook and do that with every page. So the buck is stuck together. And it's like impossible to fucking, that happens.

If you put one page in another page of a book, it gets stuck together. You can't pull it out. You want to know how creative the guys in my school were? How? They put your bag on the floor and get 10 of their friends and circle around it and spit on it. Oh, man. That's not even good. It didn't do it to me, but they did it to this guy and I've never been.

more angry in the road. But before school every morning we'd be, we'd got a school bus, so we'd be early, and everyone would stand outside in a circle, and then someone would throw in, like, just say, 50 cents, and then someone would be like, oh, I want that 50 cents, but everyone would be in a circle, and then someone else would throw in 50 cents, and then, like, it would get

to enough money where you'd want it, so someone would go in to get it, and everyone kicked a living shit out of whoever went in to get it. Do you remember stories of real, like, mean, like, an especially mean case of bullying in your school, or remember that? Yeah, I was kind of a bully at once. stage. That was to avoid me being bullied.

That are being bullied. I was bullied, but I also... You and Corey, the bully brothers. No, but to survive, I had to... Yeah, like, it's the survival of the fittest. If you don't bully in, you know... It's a classified school to survive. Well, to be fair, like, my sort of upbringing, everyone thinks like, everyone experienced bullying. I never experienced it.

I was... Because you were the bully. No, it's because my friends were the popular kids and also the nerds. So I felt I would fit in with everybody. So I didn't, I didn't have a segregation. I was set. I was actually like that, too. I was friends with the cool kids and the fucking nerds. But the meanest thing someone ever did was it was almost like, um, it was like this initiation thing at this place.

It was like completely fucked up what they did. But the whole day, they all spent time pissing in one of those giant blue barrels, pissing. Yeah. Why? Where is this going? The whole day? Yeah.

So in order to get, like, let him join the group or something, they told him to get in the barrel. A 50 gallon barrel. Yeah. I mean, it was, it was filled with piss and then they just ended up pouring like whatever, like, water around them was there. Close, dude. He's vile.

And then they, so they pulled it open, and he got inside, and they put the lid on and sat on top of it. That's horrible. And, I mean, I couldn't do anything. Because if I would have been like, if I would have been like, you guys are being jerks, let him be free. They would have shoved me in the barrel. Fucking Missouri.

So, so after he came out, um, after they let him go, they, they dumped it all out and shit. Um, they drove off without him. So they just abandoned him there. And it was freezing out. So he ended up getting like a. really sick and then they had to pay for it that point. I just remember stupid ones.

Like this cat is... So that's like the worst. Like, I, you know, I don't understand bullying, but that's more like a frat-ish bullying, but it wasn't even for a frat.

It was just a group of guys being assholes to this one guy who really wanted to be the friend. But the guy was like, he was just this like harmless guy who liked to dance. He was like a goofy dancer. He was like, everyone kind of like egged him on and ironically said, oh, you're the funnest dancer at her school. So he like thought he was like the coolest,

dancer and he was like, you know, that sort of like goofy, not cool dancer. And then they ended up fucking with him. And yeah, so many times, like, these people, like, and they just end up moving away. Like, every time there's real bowling happening, they're just moving away before anything happens. Then you always get that one kid who dies. Oh, man. From bowling?

There's always the kid from the kid. No, no, a kid who just, the kid who dies in your school. Well, there's three, there was three kids who died at our school. There was one kid who actually killed himself. He hung himself in his room with his shoelaces. And, like, it was the kid. literally six houses down from mine. So it was at the end of the street.

And he hung himself with shoelaces. Then the parents moved out. And the house sat abandoned forever. And then the other kid got hit by a... Literally, right near my fucking house. There's this fucking, like, this lone road, highway thing. Guy got hit on his bike by a fucking car. What?

Died like instantly. So we got fucking killed by a car on his bike. And then the other kid, like in the park, he had like a fucking asthma attack. And he just died in the... He didn't have his inhaler with him, so he just suffocated and died in the woods. There was a weird epidemic where I was from. Like, all these kids would die just from playing sports and their heart would stop.

That happened with you, Chris? It was like, I think it was in Ireland. Like, it was just, I think probably the fucking radon in Galway. Yeah. All these kids would play sports and their hearts would just stop. Fucking, you want to know a great bullying story? Sure. Staring yours truly.

Sure. This is real, like, this is real life. It's not like the internet. Yeah. Because I have really, like, not showed, but like, an actual situation where I egg this person on to a point where I actually was just like, okay, I need to stop. Yeah.

Okay, so I'll give you a little kind of like timeline. I was suspended from YouTube. So I made a new account called Chain Reaction where I would purposely just fuck with kids online. Oh, you'd make a chain reaction. I would go to Recolors and then I'd take their video audio and stick it over game footage. And then like screaming at people with like game footage. And there was this one guy who I pinpointed, I picked, I grabbed him because, okay, to clarify, Clarify this was like 2008, 2009.

No, this was way back. This is like 2007, 2008. So this is like way the fuck back there. This was like during the process of like Chode's existence. This is like prior year before Chode. Chode was even made before this. So this was way back then. Yeah.

But there was this one guy, I think it was. There was this one guy I took his video because he was talking to his thing. He's like, you better, he's like, you fucker. You better leave my friend alone, you fucking bitch. And it was like, he had this like recolor of like a stolen picture of son. I scribbled with like MS paint and stuff. And so I'm like, okay, so I took the audio and I slapped my keyboard and I found a, I found a video of a baby crying. So I took his video and I overlaid it perfectly with a baby sitting in his, like, crib, like, looking up at, like, somebody.

Then he, like, right when he's like, you little bitch, the baby started, like, fucking scream crying. So he was like, eh, he was, like, actually, like, crying. The camera, like, soaps in while the kid was, like, talking. And then I sent it to him, but I'm like, I sent to him. I think I had a caption like, wall. And then he, like, he, like, message me. He's like, take, he made another video. He's like, chain reaction.

He's making videos about me making fun of babies. And I do not scream at babies. And then I took that audio and put it with another baby crying. And then I sent it to him. And eventually, it got to the point where I ended up adding him because he added me. And he didn't know, like, I was Spass Kid. He didn't know Spass Kid. So he thought Chain Reaction was his own identity.

So I was talking to him. He's like, you know. Do you know chain reaction? Because I told him I was Speskid. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, he stole all my videos. And he's like, he's been proposing as me for years. I just sort of left.

And he's like, yeah, well, he's a jerk. Let me tell you what he's been doing. So I ate this whole thing on. And Lyle actually helped with this too. Lyle ended up convincing him that I was taken out of my family into... Wait, you as Spasket or you as chain reaction? Chain reaction. Okay.

was a boy who played the role... I think I talked about this because I talked about Sonic Mega pictures. I never heard this. Okay. This is going down roads. I don't want to know. So funny though.

So Lyle, there's this voice actor named Sonic Mega. Well, Lyle would take his pictures of Sonic Mega and pretend it was fucking me. And he would be like... So he'd have pictures, but he would contradict himself because, like, he would say he's like,

you know, he's like super gay. But then he would like have pictures of him with like pointing at a... with like a kissy face being like crazy girlfriend and he's like well he has a crazy girlfriend wow he's so gay and so we would just tell him lies like we'd be like yeah he smuggles cocaine he smuggles killo kill grams what is it kilograms yeah he smuggles kilograms of cocaine but he didn't understand the idea of what a kilogram is he thought it was a kilometer so he's like so he makes videos where he's like he also smuggles kilometers of cocaine of prostate he's like he's like he's

bad. And he's like, look at him trying to, like, he has like, he had like videos of him, like trying to voice act. Is that like Sonic Mega? Yes, it was Sonic Mega. This is the worst episode we've ever done. I know. So the whole point is we convinced him that he lived in France and he like smuggled cocaine for a living and his name was Gresnig Ger Lover. His first name is Gresnig and his second name is Earl Lover. It's so, yeah, Gresnigger Lover. So we told him... What's Grez? What is Grez? Lyle thought of that.

I don't know. Lyle thought of it. He's like... It was just because it says... Gresnigrugr. So he would... We would be in Skype chat all the time. And he would send me pictures of him writing his name down in death notes.

And he's like... He's like, wrote his name down again. I hope he gets to get to get by a car this time. So there's this kid who hates this made-up imaginary guy called Gresnig Erlover. Who... It was Sonic Mega, just smiling happily. Just a simple. Just a simple.

Sonic Meggots just like, you know, his like bus shots of him being happy at like voice academies and he's like, he probably sucks ass at voice acting and shit. Just completely shit. Nobody knows what he looks like and he's just like. Poor Sonic Megan. Why'd you do that for? Well, he's writing Griss nigger lover down in the death note, so it's okay. The death note. He had death notes.

He had the death. That's why it's so fucking funny. This is such unbelievable faggatory. I can't even fucking believe it. By the end of the death. He made so many videos where he was like, he would like try to reveal information, but we would just mislead him every single video

and contradict him all the time. And he would release more parts and more parts. And eventually it got to the point where I was like, okay, we've been doing this for like a week. This needs to stop. And so I went into a call with him and I brought him in. And I'm like, I'm done. I'm Spaz Kid, chain reaction.

I've been fucking with you. You've been punked. And then I hung up on him. And then he called me back. And he's like, I realize now that I've made a fool. But do you think we can still be friends? And I'm like, no, I don't want to be friends with you. And then I, and then I kind of like left. And then he still like, he still adds me to the day. Sounds like Chris's pal, Genesis Valentine. No, it's-

Corey, you better watch you, put your name on the deathmone. This sounds pretty, like, you know what? We're being, you sound really mean-spirited in this. Well, this is like, well, it is what it is, man. You do stuff. You're gonna have to bully you guys in it. We're just gonna have to be like, taking face value when you're a fucking 17-year-old, you're cunt. Yeah, we were all malicious. I was a malicious troll, okay, fucking soon as you're better now. Yeah, I'm no longer, I no longer find enjoyment in fucking with kids who are younger than me. Yeah, me either. I feel like it's kind of like a little creepy for me as an adult.

You definitely grow out of that though, don't you? There's too many things to worry about in life than seeing what these little kids are tracing. It's like, who cares? You definitely grow out of that shit. So, yeah, I fucked with him, but he adds me back and he still is as quirky as ever. Like, we, it's so

bizarre. Like, he'll add me and say stuff. Like, he's like, he's like, I'm changing my name to Wolf Slayer. I know it's corny. I don't care. Deal with it. And I'm like, cool, dude. And then he changes his name back.

And he's like, I'm sorry I bothered you. I won't bother you again. And then he removes his name in his picture. And I'm like, I'm like, dude, I didn't care. And he's like, okay, I'm just checking. And I'm just like, I don't know, I don't know if I should respond to this person or if I should just wipe it away. Just be like, I'm done.

I can't keep up. Like, I don't, I have no ill will towards him. I want him to do what he wants, but I just don't care. I don't want to be reminded of fucking with people. Jeff, how would you like to talk about diets? Well... Dietes? What's dieting?

It's when you lose weight because you're so fat. Oh, I thought it's when you died. I'm trying to. Going to get in shape for a bikini season at the beach. Okay, no, but seriously, diets. Me and Nile have a lot of experience being the fat chubby fucking nos. I've been fat and chobby, I've been scrawny, I've been everything. What about...

Okay, my problem is like there's certain diets, like soup diets. I don't want to go on a diet where eventually it's just going to become like harmful to the... To my lower hat. What is like the Lubas ludicrous diets? I'll just eat bacon all day. Me and Nile did, um, we did that. We did keto.

Atkins. Keto is when you don't eat any carbs or sugar. You just eat vegetables and meat. And it makes you feel like the lowest pond scum shit on the planet. Yeah, you feel like shit, but you lose the weight really good. You lose, like, sometimes like three pounds a day by doing it. What about Atkins? That's the same shit, really.

I think it's a few different like discrepancies, but it's pretty much same. I just think the idea of eating nothing but meat sounds just vile. It's disgusting. Your burps are like fucking putrid. It's horrible. Your body was not meant to be eaten a bunch of different meats.

You were meant to be eaten dinosaur meat and like deer meat. You lose that on a lot of you lose that on a lot of like things like iron and zinc and all this other shit if you only eat one food type. It's weird that your body craves

certain things like you know a lot of nights I'll just eat a plate of plain chicken and broccoli. But you know even if it's... That's the healthy meal you can eat. I still feel like my body's like I really need something. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes I crave really weird shit. Like I have a craving for like horrible stuff like I know

That'll be bad for me like sometimes we're just like I just want a fucking McDonald's burger I just want the worst thing ever or I just want to eat a TV dinner. It's like why would I why the fuck would I ever want to eat a TV dinner? You get cravings for TV dinner? Yes, I get craving for the weird what kind of TV dinners? What kind of TV dinner? Like like Salisbury steak. Oh really? Just the shittiest boringest awfulest TV me and Chris get cravings for pizza. That's how bad we got I'm I'm literally a dick the pizza because sometimes when I don't have it I just want to kill myself. Yeah, I'm not addicted to it. Holy fuck, dude. What's the worst thing you all

eat? Well, as of right now, Subway. Because that's all I eat. But you're not, but you Jared have Subway every day. Yeah, we're losing weight. What me and I'll do right now and it's working is we have one full sub a day which is like if you get, if you get a roast beef sub with like jalapinos and mayo and Chipotle, that's like under a thousand calories. Are you two like your own support group. Yeah.

Just yell each other if you're like buying you like, well, I'd give Chris, I'd be like, naughty naughty. Yeah, if he does something. Yeah. Sometimes we're bold and I'm like, no, you should get one like you've been really good. But then other times... Chris sometimes is a little tempterous, like he's a fucking succubus. Like, he's like, oh, would you like half a bar

of chocolate? That's, that's, that's because it's an Irish bar of chocolate. I was so good. I know, I was on a cheat day today anyway, so I don't care. But look, listen, the easiest way to lose weight, like, there's so many, there's so many factors to it, right? it's um one fucking work out just do a little bit do 10 minutes right also um don't eat carbs at all no fuck like we're eating subway that is carbs but the more carbs you eat the more fat you will be

so if you eat um just vegetables meat and a little fruit that you'll lose weight the fastest by doing that and you'll feel the best by doing that my whole diet right now consists of maybe like either one subway a day or sushi a day and that's it most important thing but losing weight is being a faggot and can and calories It's the only way you have an app though It does it I mean I know that probably My fitness pal Tom's a fucking workout machine

Tom's a buffer little fucking Tom's fucking He's got like one of those like Tom's man he wakes up in the morning and does like Military Jogs Tom's got these little fucking Buff guy veins in his arms Yeah yeah he's got those guys

He's got the buff guy veins He does those squats and makes his ass stick out Really fast I've got the I just have shit My diet's just like Whatever I'm hungry If I drink too much soda it makes me suicidal I haven't bought I man I never buy soda

I'll sometimes get at a restaurant I drink it doesn't make you depressed though I drink copious amounts of diets If you stop when we try I'm gonna get kidney I think dude makes you so fucking sad It's worst thing you should be drinking Yeah I'm gonna get kidney stones I just I know I'm separate

Like supplement it with tea Supplement it with sugarless tea Terrible you never want one I probably will get one Kill yours you'll want to kill yourself Oh God The secrets supplement yourself with sugarless tea The secrets the fucking weight loss are

Eat eggs eat vegetables eggs are super important, water is super important, and meat and fruit. No carbs, no pasta, no bread, no fucking, don't even bother with fucking milk. You know, milk's not even supposed to go in your body. I don't buy milk either. Like, if I drink one glass of milk the next day, I'm like,

ugh. Yeah, you're probably lactose of intolerance. No, it's because humans aren't meant to drink milk. You try to sell milk. No, everyone's a little bit lactose intolerant, but people, what? Sway milk. I've never drunk that, actually. Almond milk is nice.

I bought I'm... Really? Yeah. It's... It's what people drink when they're losing weight, dude. You should get on that. It's, it's like soy milk. I'm already losing weight.

Soybean. Soybean. It's bean milk, right? Soybean milk. Our weighing scale broke, so I didn't weigh myself, and I've gained, like, 30 pounds in, like, three months. Yeah. I'm not joking. I was, like, literally about 30 pounds again. I need a...

That's what I'm dieting. Yeah, about... I lost like 10 of that again. Two months ago, it was the fattest I've ever been. I'm, like, the fattest I've ever been. I was 250 pounds. I'm definitely fat, but whatever. Yeah, but you're cute. I wear my fat on my sleeve.

Corey's got a husky fat. Yeah, it's not a doughy gross fat. Yeah, actually, my fat is evenly distributed throughout my body. Oh yeah, it's perfectly. If someone comes up to me, I pick them up with one hand. It's all in my thighs, my fucking love handles in my tummy. Yeah, I got a skinny fucking wrist. I got a quarterback bill, dude. Look here, look how skinny these wrists are.

Mine are probably just as then. My fat deposits in like girl areas, like my supple breasts, my booty bomb. Chris, we have like the same wrist set. More to love now. But your arms are like the same too. Dude, Chris, we're like the same in arms. I think me and you were cut from the same clothes. I wish I had man hands.

I feel like my hands aren't mainly enough. I've got lady hands. You know what? If I shave my ass, it would be jack off material. Like my dad, my dad has like those burly hands that like you look like he could just like, he just like would hammer nails all day with him.

Like he has like those thick like fingernails. Like they'd claw shit off, like claw bark off trees with him. Yeah, that's like these dainty nails. like fucking fur on their hand like it goes up like a monkey all the friend jack his hands have like calluses on them and they look like manly working hands he's got farmer's hands he's got big farm huge big farmer's hands he looks like fucking wrecking raoul yeah i don't i've got little i've got little boy hands

Jeff i'm not kidding if you ever want to see my ass shaven I can send you pictures and you will come I'll be the judge of that Kurt Kork can watch me I've got like all the fact goes to my love handles so I've got lady butt so if you ever want a hot dog that I have a I have Hank Hill ass because all my fat distributes throughout my body. My fat ass is just two inflated balloons. Hank Kills got the worst ass in the world. Yeah, I have Hank Hill ass.

It's like, it's just two inflated balloons of like my whole body. I'm not even like that. Assless, I thought. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like tiny. It's like if you made like an ass out of clay and then pushed it against the solid surface. It's totally Hankill ass. It looks like someone also took like a hammer and indented like fucking spots at the bottom of it. You have a cellulite ass, Corey.

What's cellular? It's when you like, you putker your ass kind of, and then you see all these lumps in your ass cheeks. Yeah. It's a woman thing. It's a woman thing. No, guys have cellular. Everyone has, everyone has cellular. Like, look, that's cellular.

I don't think men have cellular. Cetululite? It's just like just women? I think so. I think so. I never noticed. I could be wrong. No, you're probably right.

I'm cellular extra up there. I'm pretty sure. I got, I got lady lumps on my ass. It looks like they have gravel in their pants. No, you're actually. That's exactly it. Mashed potato. You're actually right.

I never seen a man. I don't know it's just a women thing, but I never thought of it. I don't have that bad. Like, I'm not, but I know I have a little bit because I'm big. I definitely have. This is going to be the most stretched marks. Hated episode by women ever. Fuck you, women.

Oh, speaking of which, I was not going to sweats. I searched Sleepy Cabin on Tumblr the other day, and I found a post by a girl, and it was like, wow, sleepy cab, a bunch of misogynistic fucking assholes, and she was really mad. If a group of the most offended people decided to just listen to everything we've ever said, Their brains, their faces would melt off. Yeah, but there's a lot of girls who actually think, like what we say, because we're raw. No, it's weird. It's weird. So if you're outspokenly, like, a con and misogynistic, like, we're not even misogynistic.

But if you're outspokenly offensive, people tend to leave those alone because they're not going to get a reaction out of you. They want to kick up a stink and see a reaction that's all that. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, we don't take it. We're just saying that. We don't even say it with me at the time. You just say what's on your mind, like, whatever you think of. Maybe not to a point where it's, like, Tourette's.

where you have to curse or say something racist in like Tourette's form, but you can be uncut, uncensored, raw. It's like you said that like the Bulldike who's like taking sperm babies and making them on their own. Wait what?

Teaching them to be gay. Dangling dicks in front of them in order to, like they have food in front of them and then they pulled away and put a dick in front of them. They're like stare at it for 30 minutes. Do they think they just give her like phallic food objects? Like a fried fur or sausage and like. Sorry, like she has a piece of a dick, cuts him with a razor blade.

Next they should go to take a two dakes. He looks away, cuts him three times. Or she's just like, pajamas are the devil. Hires like Chippendale like,

Chippendale like, uh, maids carrying fruit bowls to give him fruit in the morning. With the neck bowtie? Yeah, everything. That's what these people,

these feminists are doing. They're shaping the world into a better place. I'm curious what's going to happen to these people because this stuff does seem like it goes in waves. And we had like a good decade

for a while where all these pansy ass cissies were either in hiding or just not saying anything another out in force again it came out of the hiding like there's whatever the death eaters and fucking Harry Potter so we had a Democrat in office

everyone's the pacification of America I don't even know how people believe it they just just make some feel special they just like special points I get to say I have like nothing against it but I have something against it when you have to be obnoxiously vocal about how special you are it's like just enjoy a lot of just raised that way. They don't know any better.

They're gonna be fucking, it's just so funny just knowing reality is inevitably going to hit these people in the face with a bat because you can't exist in this harsh world with these sensitive feelings and really get by very long. Yeah, well if you're the kind and that's the thing too, like if you're the kind of person

who you know you're willing to make that step of transitioning into like you know transitioning then you're going to have to deal with the fact that not everybody's going to accept it and if they do like you're just going to have to be able to turn a cheek. Like there was somebody who I used to watch who transitioned and but transition and pretty much left the internet because of all the hate but it's kind of like well if you're going to be doing that

stuff it's probably best to have a thick skin or understand the concept that people will still be prejudiced against the idea of it so you know and it also really helps not to read negative comments if you're trying to avoid negative comments what do you think the problems are going to be in the future like a hundred years from now future yeah that's a tough question never mind. People, raping people at a virtual reality getting confused.

I wonder if humanity's just going to be too annoying 100 years in the future for they're going to create I got raped in G2GTA. They're going to create robots. Once they, once they figure out how for people to not die anymore, society, I almost

fear what humanity is going to turn into because there's been no more danger anywhere for anything. Nobody's going to die. Nobody's going to feel pain anymore. That's what he said. It's going to be like a... It's just going to, I don't No. Do you think it'll be peace and harmony and happiness? No, there's always going to be somebody fighting over something.

There's a little link in your brain, just like one little wire that if you snip it, you stop feeling pain. Emotional pain or physical? No, your nerves are all over yourself. Oh, yeah. But they link back to the brain, though. Yeah, so if you cut off those nerves, then those ones. But there's so many nerves that there are genetic disorders where people don't feel physical pain. That must be weird.

I think that's a good thing. It's more of a good thing than a bad thing, except that. you could be like resting your hand on a fucking burning hot oven for like 10 minutes straight Yeah, but you're fucking, you need bone That's what I did yesterday a few days ago, yeah I put my arm on a burning stove I was in Stamper's house and I was lighting a cigarette on the stove Yeah, I singed my eyebrows in my hair, went on fire

That's stupid Why would you light a cigarette on the stove? Because we didn't have any foiego Yeah, but you could just take a crumbled up piece of paper, put it near the fire and then did that Oh, well, the real answer is I'm stupid Well, one more hypothetical hypothetical? Yeah, like the super

Superman thing, but different. Oh, is Superman, like a hypothetical? Yeah, just, um... What would you do if you were, if you could do... Oh, what if you were Harry Potter and Harry Potterland? What if we were a wizard? Yeah, what if you were a wizard, Harry? What, how, what Hogwarts house would we join?

Okay, you would 100% be in Slythering. Corey would be in a Ravenclaw. What's Ravenclaw? That's like for funny... Chris. Chris would be in Hufflepuff because I'm a fagg. Why would that hat choose? Why would I be in Slythering?

Because you are a cunt. You're mean. I think you have a heart of gold. The hat would be like he's funny guy put him in Huffledorf Yeah He doesn't sound like that like Jeff Bed oh I won't see your name He'd be like Jeff you go with Slytherin because you are a cunt I'd be like that Drake what is the Drake? A Drake oh kid I just have these uh did you see you guys follow me around and like you'd have making snapper falling you around you guys would all be in Slyther man what are you talking about I would be like Slyther and house I would be in Hufflepuff because I'm weak and that's clever what is what do what do they do

in Hufflepuff. Okay, this is literally how Harry Potter's world explains it. Gryffindor is for the brave and courageous, right? They light up their ones. Ravenclaw is the quick-witted and funny, right? Okay. Slytherin is the pure bloods.

Okay. As in the fucking, like, we... Jerks, jerk. And all pure bloods are jerks around. They're all cunts. They're all evil cunts. Puff-puff is the rest, which means they're faggots who can't find anywhere else to be.

I was wondering what Hufflepuff was about. That's why it's called. Was there ever a character in any of the books are the movies from Hufflepuff? Yeah, there's lots. So I'm Ravenclaw. Cedric Diggery was in... Hufflepuff.

I'd be in that fucking French one in the... He got murdered. Murdered by the evil guy. Yeah, Voldemortymoor. What if I'm really bad at magic? And plus, Harry Potterland is like... It's hard to, like, maneuver the staircases. It is bullshit.

That's why they just gave up on that concept after, like, the second movie. I kind of like the paintings. I like the moving paintings. Yeah, no, I thought it was really cool. Like, when he first go into, like, the Hogwarts, it's just like insane. It's just insane. It's like this abandoned, almost like haunted school aquarium.

If some fucking game developer develops that for the Oculus Riff like Hogwarts that would be the best fucking thing. Someone make that. Please, you make me. Someone make Hogwarts a good one. Where is Hogwarts? Somebody explain, is it just in an invisible? It's in New Zealand. It's in the middle of England or Wales somewhere. It's in Wales. And it's invisible. Feels better. Wales is in the other side of the word.

All right, so it's just invisible. It's behind a dark, it's a behind a dark soul smoke screen. In the book, they say that they put a spell on it so it looks like a ruin so people don't go near it. Gotcha. A room? Ruin. Ruin. Oh, that's genius.

Fucking, uh... What do they... I hate the concept of the paintings, though. Because in the Harry Potter world, right, you could be in Dumbledore's office, right? He's got all these paintings on the wall. You could go in there and you can start jerking off and you look up and you're oh shit, they're looking at me. They can run out of that room into the paintings and the hall.

It's not like the soul of somebody. It's weird. It's creepy, but they're still alive and they're not... What about that? It's like a... It's like a dude. your duplicate. You're doppelgagger, but it's not you.

Because in the third one, one of the paintings gets ripped up, and she's like hysteric and crying, and they can't find her. Here's a question. What is the point of what? The paintings? No, I'd say, you graduate A-plus in wizarding school. Now what? Do you get a job somewhere as a wizard?

You can be an orer. You can be a professional quidditch player. What else? You can be a magic baker. You can work at Gringots. Fun. How do you make money being a wizard? You start your let's-person.

How do you make this? The ministry of magic. They make it, they make it like... Jeff. What? You start your let's play channel. I'm serious. I'm serious too.

You're a witch. I studied my whole life. I'm a valedictorian of wizard. I'm a wizard. I'm a wizard. I'm a wizard to Sony McDonald's. You know, like I was a valetorian of Pop Wars. You can dangle a pop filter in front of your face with your dark magic.

Yeah, you can do a little circle in the air and be like, pop filter. They teach you all like the cool spells. You can't use those, though. You just... I'm flipping burgers with my magic. Like, I don't have to touch... And if someone leaves you a bad comma, you can be... You can be abelius, tricholius, and they get fucking Ebola.

And they die in the seat. Jeff, you'd be so lazy and just bored after a day. You'd just be stabbing the burgers with the wand and flipping them over physically. I'm serious, though, what do you do? You're squidward. I would fly. You'd fly. I would graduate fly.

Flying, you know, the flying part would almost be worth it. Yeah, I would be... You don't need to go to class for that. No, yeah. Well, you've got to learn how to fly on your wand. And after I'm done, like, I get on my broom and I fly around and just like, you know, get the wind in my hair. And I'm like, I got to breathe it off. All this working.

Jeff, you would stand in front of the mirror of Ericid, right? And you would look back at your ass. And you would put your wand at your dick and be like, and gargio. And then you make your dick look really big in the mirror. All right. Maybe we're a big. So it's a very high, it's a high class trolling school. It's troll.

You're learning how to troll people. I would... Cory, you would fucking shove your one up your eyes and be like, Lumos, Maximus, and then your whole body would glow red. Whoa. Yeah. That sounds like a good use of my time.

Nothing about this whole wizarding world makes any sense. What do you mean? It makes perfect sense. You have like a forest filled with spiders that kill students. Right beside the school. Teachers and groundskeepers

constantly send students into a forest with spiders don't want to eat them. Yeah, it's for trials. It's the forbidden forest. You're not supposed to go away. They have a team sport that doesn't make any fucking sense. That doesn't make sense. Quiddish makes no sense.

You're talking about. The golden thing, you catch that, you get, you don't get like 10 bonus points. You get 1,000 bonus points. You get 200 and 50. Making the rest of the game pointless. You think there's like frat guys at the Hogwarts that make them go out to the, whatever, the forest, and make them try and write a spider like in Minecraft? How did they keep the students from fucking you?

Because like, the students have their own rooms and stuff. Oh yeah. They probably use their out-of-body, It's like college dorms or like a griffindore is not allowed to go to like the girls. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Gryffindor can't go in Slytherin. Never. And then boys and girls have their own dorms too. Chris, if you had the invisibility club, be honest.

There's definitely fucking on the side. What do you go into the... They need up there, where they go into the bathroom. They go into the bathroom and fucking tell Moneing Mertl to shut up. What's a fuck. Flick at her being. No, I know what that is. You're a fucking watch Harry Potter.

Okay, so you shut up Moting Murtle. You go into the bathroom. She's right there. You're like, um... Holiest creseus and she there's a hole that creates and then you stick your dick through it and then you fuck because it's a glory hole Yeah you created glory hole on the opposite side now you have so what if the magic wears up and it closes in and chops your dick off That's not a very well-thought-out magic trick Don't they feel bad but these goddamn

Murdered ghosts floating around the hallways all day? Yeah, they don't want to help them and and and try to ride one no the the ghosts in the universe when someone dies you have a choice you have the choice to move on or become a ghost for Okay. So you can stay in the world and you can still communicate with the people, but you can never move on. Yeah, but what if some tricks that goes up to your picture and just rips your fucking, like a piece of your painting off, you're gone forever? Exactly. So someone could just be drunk one day and just like fucking, ah, smashing shit with beer bottles and ripping up all the pictures because they're poor. It'd be horrifying. What's, like, a good real world spell that would actually help you do something. Lumos is really, uh, look it hand-e. So it's like a flashlight. It's a flashlight. Yeah, but it's like a flashlight. Flashlights better because with Lemos Lemos, yeah. Because you have to suck out the fucking light of it somewhere else. Try to impress me, I'm like, Doriselle.

Ugh. And they're like, oh. You can do Akio and that makes something flying to your hand. That's really handy. Okay. So it's like the force. Engorgio makes stuff bigger. Incendio burns things.

Repair-O. Repair-Rapro glass-o. What about? Oculus repair. Yeah, that's it. Oculus Repairs or something. Yeah, something like that. What about X-ray vision?

You have to go to LensCrafters. Oculus Reparous. Lens crafters is like pissed off. pissed off. Okunus Riffin. They're losing money with Hogwarts. They're the Lenscrafters opened like a little store in Hogwarts and they just went out of business. People just like, people purposely send their

like poisonous pet spiders there to fucking fend them off. Is they like a rival company? Like they try to get people. If you're feeling like suicidal and want to cut yourself, you point at your face and be like, suck them so. Do you think if the United States government got their hands on a wizard, they just lock them in a, they'd lock them up for the rest of their life. That's how I feel the test. They'd put them through medical

testing. That's how I feel about every single thing where if it's in any way unnatural and they've never seen it, that's what they do. What's Aloha Mora again? That's the open door. It opens locked doors, just kind of bullshit. I would just take the great big book of magic and learn all the dirty magic tricks. And then I put the book back before

Sutherland finds out, whoever his name is. It's like a spell to grow a pussy anywhere. Yeah, I would read him really fast. I'd be like I'd take notes, I'd write him on my fucking hand, and then I'd leave. Viagris Maxim. Were there any wizards that feel like they could just take their shit

and sell it to the public and be built? billionaire or something? Yeah, you could sell your money. The ministry of magic stops that. Oh. Like, once you leave, the magic doesn't work. Like, if they sell that, like, if they sell that seaweed,

you can breathe underwater, like, some guys, like, I'm going to make a shitload of this. I'm going to make a billion dollars. They give it to somebody in the committee, like, shut up the power. You need to be a wizard. It would be a good little side story. Yeah, because they wouldn't get caught doing it that way.

Yeah, I'm like, man, I'm going to sell this to all the scuba divers down by the beach or whatever. Yeah, NBC or CBS. There's your, there's your show idea. Make a hog, warts after edition, like what happens in their In my book, yeah. That's a really good idea for a book. What happens when you're no longer, when you're

out in the real world? Using your magic to own people. Well, Harry Potter, Seven is coming out. And it's on... Seven's already eight's coming out. You mean not? Oh, eight. She's releasing like a playbook for some reason. Yeah, yeah, it's Harry Potter 8 is like a play. I know nothing about Harry Potter.

Harry Potter's awesome. You're an idiot. I'm an idiot. I only saw up to, I saw the first one and Goblin of Fire. Oh, what? Okay. One is a great movie. Two is a great movie. Three is a great movie. Four is the worst film ever. Five is an okay movie. Six is a good movie. Seven and seven point two is good movies.

Holy fuck. Four is the worst movie ever. Which one's four? The one you saw. Goblet of Fire. Goblet of Fire. No, I didn't see that one. I saw the one with the snakes in the basement. Is that the one? That's the second one. The vampire died at the end? Um, what vampire? What vampire? He played a vampire. What's his name?

No, Sforat. In the, in the, the, Gary Oldman. No. Serious Buck? No, the, the, the, the, the, the. He was in like the teen-vite vampire movies. The, what were they called? Oh, fucking, Edward. He's talking about that.

He's talking about Cedric Diggery. Cedric Diggery. Twilight. Yeah. Um, yeah, he dies in the fourth. What if? I just wanted to steal a bunch of magical animals and open a magical animal zoo. You probably could.

You could peddle them. Then I could, yeah. It's perfect. You could sell them for like $15,000 to rich. What if I wanted to sell hippogriff's hooves and grind them up and sell them to Africans for good luck. You know what? J.K. Rowling wrote it so that

Harry was born in 1980 so he's like 20 by the end of the books or whatever. So the book ends right as the age of internet begins, which is very convenient. So in the world of Harry Potter there's giants roaming around, there's fucking hippogriffs flying around, it's dragons

but no one ever sees them. But you would think in the age of the internet at least one person would get it and uploaded to YouTube and they would be fucked. So there's no internet? Not yet in Harry Potter. Do you think they should make another Harry Potter movie would like bring back What's his face? The new Harry Potter generation

Daniel Harry Cliff is the new wizard. We'll have like cool like We'll have like cool wizards like it'll be almost like The exact opposite like amazing Spider-Man where The first one was like a nerd. This guy comes back He's like a cool pretty boy. He's like really cool and he has to like do his hair When he comes inside? Yeah big stick out. He's got his like his psychic

What's the little like Mowgli guy with orange hair? What's his name? Ron Weasley? Yeah Ron Wiesley. Ron Wiesley's like this rip like Calvin and Klein model He's just like, yeah, I think I'm gonna fuck. What's her name? Hermione? Hermione. And then they start off the season, he's already dating Hermione.

It's almost like Twin Peaks or like fucking like. Emma Watson became the most unfathomely annoying feminist ever. Really? Yeah. Who's Emma Watson? She's the Hermione. Oh, God. She's became like, what a name.

A lost cause. What if technology companies got into making wizard wands? Like they're really high tech. They can probably do that now. I guess what do they have inside them again? Like hair or feathers or something? Or what's the? What's like the catalyst?

Yeah, it's like a feather. It's like a magic essence from like a piece. Wait, you mean what makes a wand? Yeah. Um, they're all different. So there's one is like, oh, it's like the base is like a tree.

So it's like, Elm with a bit of heart string from a dragon. Okay. Or like feather from a phoenix. Okay. It's just like, you just need like dragons and legendary creatures

in order to keep magic moving. I worry with a tooth of a basilisk, that kind of shit. So if you, okay. If you open your magic shop, you can have your downstairs where you have your dragon locked up

like in Shrek. And Mr. The lavender's like the wife chooses the wizard Harry. If I stuffed dog hair and a tree branch That wouldn't really work very well. That would be the shittiest one ever They would probably just spray a piss and pears and spray piss You give it to somebody they're like let me go sorry spray shit oh my brother Yeah you're like a bad a cadavers Blows farts in their face like that's what I would do I would open like a shop where I would sell

wallets but I would just like go around and just like dip them in like fucking swam Mug-Muss and stuff. Ground up bullfish. So they'd be like, I got a perfume and then they spray like fucking wamp smoke like musk on them and shit and they like smell like a swamp. So I just go around just making jokester stuff. Jeff, I'm never gonna buy your shitty wand. Shittie Wands. You know what I would do?

Like Chinese off-brand wands. I would create the Harry Potter jelly beads in the cell in the universe. Bertie bots every flavor beans. They're out. You can buy those. You can buy those. That's the most disturbing thing about the whole universe, honestly, these fucking disgusting. fucking disgusting jelly beans.

Do you see the video on YouTube where the kids like, we got Brady Bots every flavored beans and we got skunk flavor and he puts in his mouth and he's like and he like pukes all over himself like instantly. No. It's fucking gross. I don't want to see that. It's nasty. Those jelly beans are fucking heinous and stupid. Yeah. We used to

eat them with warheads. That was a really bad idea. Warheads was so cool though. But eating them with fucking like skunk and like boogers? I would never eat them because of that because it's like why would you put yourself through that? It's so gross. Earwax, dirt. I'm not eating these. I've never had warheads.

How bad are they? Oh, man, they make your face suck inside. Oh, they're delicious. It's like bad for you candy, but it's delicious. That was like the, that was like the, how you look cool in seventh grade. I don't need some warheads. Yeah, in third grade, we'd be in up in a room. We'd be like in, in, um, we'd be in like clarinet class because, you know, all the third graders

had clarinets. We'd all be sitting around and we'd be like, I have patch of like warheads. We'd be like, how much can we eat? And we'd all sit around. We'd be like, like, five. Someone would eat like seven and some freak would eat like 12. But then by the end of it, it's like acid, so it like burns your tongue. Oh my God.

And the grade actually burns? It actually can burn your tongue. There's like that guy that like ridiculous peter or whatever who fucking does crazy shit. Oh, he ate 100 and yeah, Furious Pee. He ate 120 warheads and his fucking tongue was bleeding. It was just acid. It was running into his fucking tongue. It ruins your like math.

He's a fucking goddamn maniac. Why would you eat that? Because he's a furious. It's like a jackass there for kids. Not really. No, they're horrible. sour. I like sour, though. I like summer too this way. They're just sour. There's like no

sweet. Sour sweets are my favorite. We should wrap this bad boy. We're gonna wrap it up like a piece of candy. Yeah, I like that I could be a part of a conversation where I know nothing fucking about Harry Potter at all. You've never seen the movies? I saw two. I read one book. I've watched the movies. I kind of always wanted to watch Harry Potter. It's been one of those Star Wars situations where I saw Star Wars and liked it. So I feel like I get the same... Corey, come to her house, will marathon

fucking Harry Potter. Do it. Look it all the time at her house. Yeah, they've watched Harry Potter and at their house like 20 times at least. All the time. I know every Harry Potter, I've seen every Harry Potter at least 30 times. I'm probably underestimating. But I am always surprised by the fact

that Ron Weasley had a spell called Eat Slugs! Yeah, it's not a spell. And it worked. He screamed, eat slugs. Eat Slugs! But his wand was broken. So then he puked out Slugs for like half an episode. Gross. But it was like, what

All of it, in other, Ron's other spell when he's on the train, he's like, yeah, such as my own, sunshine and yellow. Yeah, what a shitty family living out in the middle of the swamp. Yeah, dude, they're, like, all of them are so literal. Other ones are like, Mood-a-luck-d-lid-do-do-do-do-do-do-l. Smell shit. Eel! That always bugged me out because I was like, couldn't you just be like,

eat grenades, and then just end the fucking... Eat dick! Yeah. Just eat dick's fucking. Bye, everybody. No, we gotta say all our wishes. We gotta say, you gotta say. Corey, what's your wish before you go?

Uh, no, we gotta say our magic Harry Potter move. Okay. And we gotta say what it does. You go first now. I gotta think. Dildicus clitoris. What did you do? Nice fucking shitty joke.

What did you do? Idiot. I'll be laundrius cleanious. That's a good one. So I have to do my fucking laundry every week. That's a good one. That's a burden. And I have to, and foldiest, closiest.

There. You just need a mom. All right. I do. Momsius. I mean, what's yours, Chris? Look over theirs. What does it do? Makes you look over there.

It makes you look over there. It has the same effect when you say look over there. Why'd you just say it? Chris is like, Cloosius, removious to little kids. No, I'd be like closius, paninius. Extra closiest. Little PPS, bigiest. It would be in gorgia. I'm out of it.

Pias, Nias, myus, mouth-eus. Corey, what's yours? They're sick. Mine? Yeah. Be backspace, delidius. I'd use it on a person and delete them. Backspace,

Bladius. Just that's Avada cadaver. Yeah. I'd be like, what? Yours would be computerist, workiest. Yeah, I would be like, Blue Screenius, Begonious. And then no more Blue Screen.