SleepyCabin - SleepyCast S2:E22 - [Room 401]

Episode Date: June 4, 2016

"Adult-cast, grown ups only, no fucking babies, no little children baby shit, no giggles, no fucking baby giggles from the adults or they get kicked to the crub, this is all mature." The devilishly sultry Redminus joins allergic Jeff and drunk Mick for a chill night of mature banter. We discuss the secret of room 401, poopy toilets, fucking bears, and eating the children we've been holding hostage in the attic. You know... classy grown up shit. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Your hosts for the evening: JohnnyUtah (www.johnnyutah.newgrounds.com) Mick (www.youtube.com/user/ricepiratenewgrounds) Special guest Redminus www.youtube.com/user/redminus Podcast editing by: Niall - Initial edit Jakub Z - Main Edit Ricepirate - Final Pass +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Creeps McPasta . Jace Baker . Shane Danells Denis DeLong . Sonny Canchola . Susparty Paul Raymond . Rodolfo Davis Millet . Corbin Record Bill Zhuang . Andrew Dore . Dani Rucker Dazzanator . Conner St. John . Phillip Tafoya Hudson Heitmeier . Yuval Birenzweig . Dan Jakab Chris Moore . Blake Bevill . Amanda Scott Yamen Mouhanna . Bit.Halo And to ALL our lovely patrons

There is a world as tangible as our own. Impossible to see yet. Unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Very deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin. It's a bunch of guys.

He's a bunch bullshitter. Welcome to the sleepy cast. I'm your special guest, Red Minus. Here with me today also. Rice Pirate. Johnny Utah grown up cast 2016

You're popping the mic I thought I might be I'm trying to go I'm trying to go quiet You can Go off to the side Yeah yeah yeah You like almost like here

Like you're doing like a You're kissing Catherine's out of Jones You're not gonna kiss her right Or fucking fight You're gonna kiss her right off to the side Politely Welcome to this Fuck

You're fucking I'm thinking to you're literally like Spitting right in Catherine's at his face Welcome to the Sleepy cast I'm your special guest Red Minus here today With Rice Pirate and Jeff, adult cast, grownups only,

no fucking babies, no little children baby shit. No giggles, no giggles from the adults, so they get kicked to the fucking curb. This is all mature. After hours, baby. That's right. Jeff has the allergies. It's rough.

Yeah, give us some allergies. Give us some allergies. Yeah, that's sexy. Take off it. It's like, change your panties after that way. It's notting on. Now that the babies, are away, we'll have our caca doo-do to me.

4-1. Tell us about 401. Okay, so, I guess I shouldn't mention the hotel. I won't call the hotel by name, or should I? Why not? Fuck it. Okay, so... They're not listening to the podcast. No. So, I checked into the Best Western on Sunday for a couple days in Fort Washington, and

it's a pretty... It's not divey, but it's not nice either. It's just a real average. It looks like just a block of rooms, right? There's no frills, no fucking frills whatsoever. Nobody's doing heroin in the hallway, Not visible. No. They might be in the room.

It's such an average hotel that the breakfast service literally is a pancake machine. It's a fucking, it's a dispenser. You push a button and you watch like this pancake move down a conveyor and slither out the end onto your plate. That's the breakfast service. Do you get to watch like that pre-made month old goop? Yeah. It's just. It's just splat out one of those pancakes for you.

Yeah, it's just powder and water. It's shelf stable. So I was checking in and I had a reservation. I get into the counter and I'm just filling all my stuff out and getting my cards. And there's a guy behind me waiting for his turn to do, I assume the same. And so after I'm done my bit, I go over to the elevator, which is right there, and I push the button and I wait. And in the meantime, the guy who was behind me in line, who I take a look at and he was like a little bit grubby. Like he had kind of a bit of a dirty t-shirt and some real beat-up jeans and like a dusty-ass backpack and a hat like he'd just come off.

He sounds like one of the guys from that. 80s movie. What was it the garbage guys? What was that movie called? Yeah. Something like men at work or something like that. He looked like a man at work. He looked like a real... The man's man. Yeah. If you pat him on the back hard enough, a dust cloud comes down. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, he's a trade person. Yeah. Let's keep a gender neutral. Um, anyway, so, uh, this guy, I'm kind of just keeping a bit of an eye on him. He goes up to the desk and he's like saying he wants a room like he doesn't already have a reservation. Like he just is blowing through. Yeah. And he's like, here. I just happen to be here.

This is like a hotel in the middle of fucking nowhere. It's on the side of the highway. It's not a destination. You wouldn't go there. But the floors aren't, like, cracked. There's not like rats running around. No, it's good. It's fine.

Like, it's just okay. Everything's okay. And so he goes up at the counter. He talks to the guy. He's like, hey, yeah, I'd like, I'd like to get a room. I'd like room 401. That's my favorite. He doesn't say, he doesn't say quite so sultry, but that's what he says.

It's my favorite. It's my favorite. No, yeah. He's like, I like to get four, a 401. That's my favorite. You got to be a special person if there's a best Western in some fucking bum fuck nowhere.

Maybe he's John Cusack. And so the guy... Maybe we're all John Cusack. Do you get what I'm saying? Have you ever seen that movie? Identity? What? Was it identity?

No. He's inside the guy's head. He goes through that thing in the wall. What's that fucking thing? That really sundered out. He goes to hotel room because the hotel room is haunted. Oh.

No, there's another one. Identity that takes place in a motel. But then I was also thinking there's that other one. Being John Malkovich? Wasn't there another one? Room something, something, room like 432. So he's in a lot of hotel rooms and movies. Yeah.

Is he in being John Malcovich? Yes. Yes, that's the one I was thinking. Yeah, never mind well. But I actually didn't see it. In which case the hotel room was John Malcovich's brain. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So this son of a bitch asks for the room 401. 401, it's his favorite. 401. 401. And the guy says something that he's like, well, 401's very popular, so we'll have to see. Now, here's the thing. I've heard the story before. From me earlier.

Yeah. But what really kind of gets me, where it really kind of makes a twist is, did the guy behind the counter sound a little playful? No, he sounded completely deadpan. Okay. Because you know what I mean? Like if it was more playful, if it was more like, oh yeah, I want room for one. You're like, oh, well, that one's really popular. You know, in which case, it kind of, you know, the banter.

Like they're joking around. Yeah. But the way that you describe it, this deadpan description, it's like a drug deal happening or something. No, yeah. This is like he, the tone was as though he went to a. and ask to get a bunch of checks. And asking for the popular checks. Yeah, I'd like to get the pattern with the flowers on it.

I have a question. Yeah. What is, what is like when he's like, I'll have to see? Like, does he just know immediately or not? Does he have somebody in the room or not? Why is it? Well, yeah. It's very popular.

It's very popular. I'll have to go up there and check myself and come back now. Yeah, like, it's not in the computer. It's very popular. It's not in the computer. There might be somebody in there. We'll see. Yeah.

Like, what's the popularity of a random room in a hotel in Illinois? 401. You know? First of all, what kind of, a dude has a favorite room in a hotel on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. What Best Western has a favorite room? Right. That's very popular. Oh yeah. I've heard about this

shit. Yeah. You know who's a lot up there? Japanese people. Why is that? They hate the number four. Chinese people too. They don't go. They don't have level four. That's correct. That's correct. We've just established two groups of people with whom the room is not popular. We're breaking it down slowly. We're slowly solving. By deduction, we'll figure out who's actually on this. Who's actually

There's no Japanese business. That's what I hate about Malaysia, too. I don't know if I mentioned that before, but in Malaysia, because they have Chinese people and, like, British people, whatever. They don't have a fourth floor or a 13th floor. Fuck. So you just have a 15-story building missing, quote-unquote, two floors. Half the numbers.

Yeah. God. But, I mean, like, nobody puts it together. Like, that just means the fifth floor is still the fourth floor. We're tricking this, the supernatural stuff. Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah. All the ghosts were like, nobody fucking told me.

Yeah, nobody went and counted from outside. They're all like all the ghosts like trying to go up the elevator They're looking for four and they're like what the fuck shit we're out of luck There's only a five here yeah all right let's bounce no haunting to be no haunting to be no haunting here I was looking for 401 shit fuck they figured it out they kind of fake tricked them I so I snooped in on this shit I was going all around the hotel like trying to figure out if there was something wrong with it and I looked from the outside It's just a room and doesn't have a nice view doesn't you know so I don't know lines closed Yeah, from the outside, yeah, they were.

Interesting. That's all I got. I don't know. I kind of used over whether I should ask for the same room myself and see what kind of... You are currently still staying there? Are you checked in there? I have one more night there, yeah. Okay. Your stuff is there.

My stuff is there, yeah. So you still got to go back? I still got to go back, yeah. I really think you should go and just put your ear up to that door. Tonight I will. Real curious. Tonight I will. Earlier I saw the maids cleaning all the rooms down that hallway.

I went up there to see what was up, and I didn't have the balls to, like, look in. See, I was surprised, because normally... I wouldn't even have a second thought about it. I'd see someone who worked there. And I'd just be like, oh, hey, good morning. And they'd be like, como dostas? And I'd be like, hey, yo, can I... I'm just curious.

I heard something about Room 401. Yeah. Quattro zero one. Mind if I take a look? Or is there's something going on here? Although, you know, the other thing is all the people working there are, I don't want to say sketchy, but unpleasant. Like, they're not happy to see you.

You said that everyone looks at you from the side of their face. Yeah, they're kind of like, what's the guy? Nobody looks at you directly. They're all kind of like fish eyeballing you from the side. side. Yeah, so that's another layer of like mutual suspicion. It's in what? Fort where? Fort Washington. Fort Washington. What do you know about Fort Washington, Jeff?

Well, it's not a tourist destination typically. It's just a I don't know what you want to, I mean it's like a best Western on an average road and an average town. It's like an industrial park? Almost. It's like car dealerships and shit. Not that that's, you know what I'm saying. I don't know. I don't know where you go to get your kicks, Jeff.

I don't go to a hotel. You would fucking check it into some best western. I wouldn't stay at a hotel a town where I live. Besides which there's three hotels in like tight proximity, so it's not like there's a supply issue. Yeah. I guess enough people would be staying in the area for it to be there. Well, that happens.

Sometimes when they have a chunk of work, like mining things or like industrial things, they'll build up all these hotels to like deal with whatever the demand is. Then once the jobs dry up, they just got these empty-ass hotels, and then they sit there and then some Indians from fucking Dubai, like here from their third cousin. I'm glad you got the right.

Indian right now when you said that. I was wondering where that was going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, not chief, not chief 401, but fucking, they like, no, it is, I do feel like it is very family oriented. Like, I do feel like a lot of the best Westerns, like, it's almost like they

are all cousins or something. Well, they're franchises, but yeah, they're neutral as hell. Like, there's nothing special to rub anyone the wrong way. They got a pool, they got the silly-ass fitness room. Yeah. Is there a hotel chain that's below? Like, what's the worst? Motel. I was going to say,

Yeah, Melale 6 is pretty much down there. They're all single floor. Motels are like single floor, right? No, no, just two, two floor. You could get a two-story motel six. Is it that the doors open to the outside? What's the difference? The hotel and a motel, what's the difference?

Oh. I was given to understand that a motel is that your room's door opens to the, like, the parking lot. Yeah. But I don't know if that's the only thing. I remember when I was... I don't... Well, I mean, that could sound right, but I know in, like, certain tropical places that they have beautiful, like, Hilton hotels that have balconies right outside.

You know what I mean? Right. They all are pretty much all open. Yeah, I don't know, man. I'm sure it's a quality thing as well. It's got to be. Because I remember when I was a kid, they had like a series of,

the first time I ever even heard what a motel six was. They had like all these like article pieces on the news, whatever the fuck, you know, investigative stuff. Yeah. Where they were like exposing how ratchet all the motel sixes were like bugs and people. That's a franchise too, though, right? Like anybody can just own a motel six, right?

Yeah, yeah. Because it's the same thing with like Best Western and all those things. is I think once you get like a franchise going, that's where you get a real hit and miss. I mean, some of them I'm sure are real nice. Very, I mean, you know, most of them probably aren't. I went to a red roof in once when I passed through St. Louis, which, you know, that was my fault. Because parts of St. Louis are literally the most crime-ridden in America. And this is with my ex-wife.

And we were driving through. We rolled in at like three in the morning. There was some baseball shit going on. So it was impossible to get a hotel anywhere. but it was already like, you know, really, really late, so we needed to stop. And we got in, and the lobby actually looked like an old, like a really nice cabin. Like wood, there was two floors. A second floor was like this nice wood kind of going around.

I think there was like antlers and shit or something. Like, like, like wood laminate it, like wood paneling? Like that David Lynchian? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was some, yeah, exactly. Yeah. And then when we went in, it was all empty except for that one guy sitting at the desk, which was also, now that you mentioned David Lynch, the whole thing was like David.

He's sitting there. He was watching something on the screen and wasn't really paying attention when I came up. It's like, oh yeah, you get the room, whatever. And I borrowed his pen to sign something. Anyways, on our way up to our room room, we had to leave that main hall and then go up to our room.

There was a mattress up against the emergency exit. That was already kind of bizarre. And then there was a couple of people in that area just kind of smoking cigarettes and talking. They definitely looked really. shady. Then we got into our room and when we closed the door, like only when you close the door, there's a fucking bullet hole. Not not on the outside of the door, but only on the inside, which I guess they're good doors.

Didn't penetrate the doors. But someone was clearly on the inside shooting out or something. Anyways, it was like right through like the little map, there's like a little map of like where all the exits and shit were. There was that and then there was something about like, you know, your own safety and make sure you lock your doors between whatever. So it's really late. It's really creepy. My ex-wife's freaking out.

She does not want to be there. But, you know, it's late and we got to sleep. Get ready to go to bed. And the phone rings. Last thing I fucking expect. Like, you know, we've been staying in motels for a month. I mean, we've been traveling across the country. It's three in the morning.

You just don't expect that once you get to your room. The phone ring. Inside your motel room. Correct. That's, yeah, that's fucking weird. Oh, yeah. The other thing to mention is, you know, sometimes they have those doors that connect two rooms together.

Oh, yeah, no, that's no good. So, no, no. We had one of those doors, but the one on our side didn't lock. Oh. Like, it was, like, pulled out of the socket. Like, you can see, like, the whole, like, where it would be. I don't know if the other one was locked because we never tested it. Yeah.

But we, like, put some of our, like, luggage and stuff against it just in case. It was just, like, it was just, like, weird. So anyways, it's the guy from the front desk. Uh-huh. And he's like, uh, yeah, uh, yeah, from the front desk. you have my pen. Oh my God, I was gonna say that was like the instigating incident

of the whole... Was there a nice pen? No! It was a fucking fucking big pen. It was just like a normal fucking pen. And my first reaction was like, I was so tired and I was really, like I was literally just going to sleep.

I'm gonna need that pen. Yeah, I was like, I mean, okay, do you, I mean, you, the front desk. I mean, I'll tell you, this lobby was huge. The guy's desk was huge. It was like, you don't have another pen? Like, room for one on that desk. Yeah, there was something really fucking creepy

about the whole thing. So I was like, okay, do you really need it? I mean, I can bring it down to you or, you know, if you need to come get it. And he's like,

I'd appreciate if you can bring it to me. And I was like, I was just about to write something. Yeah, and apparently there's not a single writing utensil on the entire fucking whatever. So at that point, I mean,

I could build this up and say like, oh, it was super creepy or whatever. The people were still outside smoking. Yes, it was a creepy hotel. And I didn't get robbed, obviously. Nothing crazy happened. But just the whole, whole thing was very David Lynch.

And then like when I brought it to him, I wasn't like, oh, hey, thanks, man. He was just like, yeah, put it there. I was like, okay. That was like you got disciplined. Yeah. And then I, like he felt like it was a weird power play. Yeah. You know, like this guy is a dead end job.

He's working, you know, behind the desk, get a fucking red roof in in St. Louis, like, bad, like East St. Louis or whatever. And he just needed to fuck with somebody before he went to, you know, before his shift was over. I have no fucking idea. Everything in its place. I can tell you it's about South Korean hotels. Yeah. Weird thing about them is, you know, I was over there visiting my brother and he's teaching a littleish or whatever.

And the funny thing is they have a computer in every room apparently. And it has like Internet Explorer 6. I don't know. This is even, you know, this is like three or four years ago, but it was still like super out of date. You know, and it's rounded to the TV. Like you put the TV on a particular channel and mirrors what's on your computer screen. And it has a really terrible fucking media player. But the funny thing is this is this.

Sonic. This is the on-demand service. in South Korea. They don't have like, you'll pick a movie and pay for it. It's a folder on your desktop. The bootleg movies in it. When I was over there, Rise of the Planet of the Apes was in theaters over here. Over there, it was a video file in this fucking folder.

And I just put it on and I'm like, hey, this isn't so bad. How was the quality? It was good. It was perfect. I don't even know how they got it. I was like, what is going on here? They had that. Did you have like a weird thumbnail or something? Like, did they... No. It was just like an an AVI file. Yeah. You know, it's weird media fucking player

You look at the credits of those things. You know, they hire like fucking 5,000 Korean animators to, like, do that grunt work. Yeah. You know, one of those guys just like, you know, I could just render this fucking shit out. Why not? Yeah. They're paying me five cents to the hour. I'll make a couple bucks on this.

Maybe. Yeah. I don't know if they would deal with them, some kind of other thing. You said they worry about fan death, though, right? You were telling a story about Korea before about fan deaths. So in these hotels, are you allowed to run a fan, or do they cut that shit off, too? What kills you with the fan death? It's not a...

You swing too hard from your news? Well, if you want me to describe fan death to the audience, it's the beliefs, the Koreans have a belief that rotating, like, rotary fans will... There's two possibilities of being killed by a fan in the night. It's either it'll, like, suck the oxygen out of the... Somehow lower the amount of oxygen in the air where you'll suffocate and die, or it'll make the temperature in the room drop dramatically where you'll freeze to death and die. All because of a little fan.

There's like multiple multiple outcomes where you die because of a fan. So South Korean manufacturers are forced to put a timer on their fans to turn them off.

Like they can't, they just won't run at night or something because too many Koreans are afraid they'll be killed. I'm like, I'm arguing with a nice Korean girl

over there about this and I'm just like, I'm like, I sleep with a fucking fan on next to my head every day just with like the white noise and she's like, no, no, no,

she's like, no, I'm experiencing a lot of white noise right now, sir. I don't know. Oh no, yeah, yeah, basically,

you don't understand. It happens. I'm like, who who dies? Yeah. You know, well, there's many elderly people die in their sleep. I'm like, maybe they just die because they're old. Yeah, yeah. Not the fan. That's what did it. She'd be like, name one person you know who died

from fan death. They had a good thing going up to them. Nate, you know what? You're going to put this shit, like make manufacturers set this to their code. Tell me five people that you know who died to fan death before you fucking install this system into every hotel. tell everywhere. But to get back to you, yes, they did have fans in the room, but they weren't, they were very like these weird high-tech fans in the ceiling. It wasn't even like a

fan, like a ceiling fan. It was like this weird, how do you, I don't even describe it? It's a little vent that kind of like, a lower's out of the ceiling and you have to give it a timer, so you have to set it to blow cold air for a certain amount of time, then it'll just shut again. It's really weird. Like slides back. Yeah, it just like retracts. Those fuckers are over there. Don't believe in air conditioning. They just love humidity. hotness.

That on top of lots of garlic in their food and smoking cigarettes, it's got to be the beautiful smelling blaze. If you like your

airports and malls and everywhere else not air-conditioned in the hottest summer ever then you'll love it. I couldn't. I couldn't.

Yeah, I like just to be damp all the time. Yeah. If you just run like a red cup up the crease in my back and collect two ounces of sweat. They don't have sweat glands, I don't think.

Are they evolved to not sweat? That's the question, though. It's like when you're sitting there sweating, you know, like crazy. When you see them, are their shirts like sticking to their bodies? No, no. They look fine. That's super fucked up, actually. Yeah.

That's, I went to, I went to Indonesia and I don't have any, like, I don't have any clothes that you would wear in a really hot situation. I only got, like, pants and shirts and shit. And I know, obviously, Indonesia's fucking real hot. And wet. Yeah. But I was like, you know, that's no big deal. That's the kind of place it is. I'll just buy those clothes when I get there.

Yeah. But then, like, first of all, all the sizes are wrong as. Hell. That's true. Even an extra large shirt has like a real tiny armholes and neck holes so I look like I've got like I still have it still doesn't fit and then also everyone's walking around like in full suits. Yeah and they don't even give a shit like

it's not a big deal. No one's too hot. I don't know how it happens. See it's so weird because I definitely seen that but when I lived in Malaysia that wasn't the case. People sweat like motherfuckers out there and they don't wear deodorant. Maybe they are actually really uncomfortable and they're just not letting on. They're just really good like they're just so used to it

at this point. My brother was like When you come over, it's going to be hot and humid, but don't bring shorts. They'll be offended by your legs. By your legs. What? Yeah, totally. Yeah. They're like, yeah, just wear it.

You have to wear pants or they're going to look at you weird and be offended or something. Fine. That is incredible. That whole trip, man. How long were you there? Almost two weeks. Here's a, you want to hear, I don't know. I have a million stories, but I don't know if you want to get into it.

I can barely talk because of my fucking allergies, but here's what I'll say, one humorous anecdote. Yes. Yes. Okay, drop it. It was a big mountain. Yes. We're at the bottom of the mountain.

We're going to get to the top of the mountain. It was a tram at the bottom of the mountain. It was like 8.30. And the tram or whatever starts at 9. Okay. Sounds good. He's like, eh, it'll take 15 minutes to get up there. We'll just walk.

We're not even like halfway up the mountain. And it's just the tram just like casually passes us. I'm dying, man. My legs are like shaking because I'm so tired of walking up this fucking mountain. Where was this? South Korea. Oh, God. in the summer.

Yeah. Okay. I was sweating. My pants. I looked like I was in a pool. I dressed, climbed out of a pool. And I pissed myself.

Fuck that place. It's fucking the humidity there. Every fucking day is more human than every most human day of the year over here. Yeah. I don't even understand. I don't know if they're just close to the equator or what, but. Are they? They have no fans.

Fuck that place, man. Yeah. We are not going to need those. Those will fucking kill you. Fuck them. They're fucked their hole in the floor toilets. Oh yeah, you like to do you let the poo on the floor? Yeah, no toilet paper.

I know your toilet. I don't mind. I don't mind those toilets, honestly. It's supposed to be good for you. Except for the toilets in the hotel. They were normal, but they had 18 electronic buttons on them with all Korean letters on them. I don't know what they did. It's just supposed to wash your asshole.

You're just afraid you're going to push your buttons. You're going to blast it right back up into your ass cheese. I can understand if it was a bidet. Like, oh, this one button shoots water. It was like 18? It's like, no. It was like a wringling toilet, but it had a Star Trek pad, like a Star Trek panel on the side of it.

And I'm like, I look, and I look, like, 18 settings. I'm like, what could this do? You look in the bowl and you see, like, the one little spout that shoots the water. And then beside that, there's like a silicone finger. And then beside that, there's a pot opener. Why would you possibly need that many buttons? I don't know. I just flushed.

It flushed. It flushed normally, but. But how many things can you possibly do in that toilet? I wish I started hitting buttons, but I was. You know, we could make a list, honestly. But, like, even though I don't think we'd hit 18 different things that commonly would need to be programmed. programmed into your toilet. I wanted to get a day.

Peepoo. Dirty diarrhea. Puk. Yet you... You could jizz in it. You could come on and then that's... Fine. We're only at the six at that point.

Yeah, no. That's literally everything... You know, a real one would be I ran out of toilet paper. I had to use paper towels. So I have the paper towel flush. There's like a super carburetor in there. Yeah, or like a food process or whatever, you know,

fuck me. Maybe I use the Canadian word. I mean, what else? Fucking decomposing, like, you know, get rid of a body? Yo, this is, I, you guys know. Flusher rat? Do you guys have, like, chronic tacos? Do you know that place?

I might be getting racy here. Let's just fucking do it. Let's do it. That's crazy. Let's get crazy. So, yeah, because this is about toilets. So, uh, this wasn't even that long as like maybe a year and a half, two years ago. I just called up my buddy, Mike, and I'm like, it was a Saturday afternoon. And I was like, you want to go down to chronic tacos and just get some beers and Mexican food.

And it's like, they have them on the West Coast. So, I don't know, people probably know what they are. But it's just a Mexican fast food place. That's pretty much it. except it's got a bar in it? Do they have a salsa bar? They don't have a salsa bar. No, it's not that fancy.

It's not that authentic, but they have a bar bar, right? So we were just getting, you know, we go in and there's just normal kids where in the uniforms working behind the counter, like almost like a Mexican subway. Yeah. They put together.

But with a bar. Yeah, and so then we got some dos eckis or some, like, just so we can pretend like we're having real Mexican food. I'm not going to lie. I initially was really turned off by the idea that it didn't have a salsa bar, but the fact that it has a bar, I don't know what was better on.

It's like, it used to be, this particular one used to be different. It used to have like really sketchy people working there. So it was open really late. And it was kind of an all right place to go just to get late drinks and have food around weird people. But it got taken now it's like they play UFC and stuff on the monitors and it closes early. Is it a deal closer?

Yeah. Well, it's just what's closing early doesn't really. That seems like the more pertinent thing. They got all these candy skulls and teenagers and uniforms working painted on the walls. Not the teenagers, the skulls. Yeah. And then it's like they're playing UFC and they close it like 10. What's the fucking point?

I don't get. I don't get what the schick is. But we went and we were like, this is all right. Like, we're just going to do this for a little bit. So we had a couple beers each. And it was right at that point where it's like, maybe we won't have another beer, maybe we will. And suddenly I got a shit real bad.

So I was like, if we're going to stay any longer, I got to get comfortable. So I went to the washrooms. And the washrooms were like the kind where there's not stalls. It's like you close the door and you're in there by yourself. Oh, yeah. Like the whole, you get the whole room. Yeah, very luxurious.

Which, which in most cases, is I actually prefer because of the privacy. However, in any place where it's like really busy, I hate it. Yeah. Because immediately when I know that I'm the only one in there, before I, before my ass cheeks even touch the toilet, I know someone's gonna be knocking on that door. And you assume all blame for everything that is, that is, when you come out of that door or whatever's...

You inherit every, you inherit every splatter, sense, you know, yeah. And so I actually, I thought of this because the other day at the New Grounds office, I went in the washroom and it had already smelled like poo. Yeah. And then I was, I was only in there to like, get a paper towel or something. And then someone was outside waiting when I left. And then I was like, now they think that was, yeah, that was not me. Motherfucker, that was not me. So I went, I went to the washroom and I, you know, I dropped a real, a real deuce. I'll, I'll be frank. And everything was cool. It was all going according to plan. And I flushed the toilet. And then it started to, it started to go down. But then none of the actual stuff that I put in it went

down and it stopped and then it started coming back up and the water started rising with like it's like a stew of everything I put in the toilet swirling around and then the water was coming up creeping up slow creeping up slow just where it gets to like that edge you know where the the toilet bowl has that square edge that the that seats sits on and it started to rise up past that and I had like a half inch of clearance and I was like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck stop stop and it stopped it's slowed it stopped and I was like Christ and everything's still swirling real slow oh no like just just going and it was like and it's Because of all the torsion, it's all turned cloudy, and the toilet paper is shredded up, but it's still in, like, damp clumps.

And it's just doing this. I know exactly what you're describing. It's just doing these slow, evil laps. It's more terrifying. And so I was like, this is real fucked up because now I have to go back out there in this single room thing. And I've just been sitting here for a while. And it's not like there's very many people.

There was like maybe six other people in the whole place tops. And I was like this, I can't. I just can't. I can't have my image tarnished by the, so in my idiot brain on having a couple beers, I was like, I'm going to wait until this goes back down a bit. I'm going to try again. Oh, wow. And so.

Did it actually, when it was going down? Slowly, it was going back down slowly. So in my head, I was like, maybe there's not that big a problem, you know? Like maybe this will just clear itself naturally. Maybe I can just help it along before anyone has to see this fucking disgrace. So I waited until it went down a bit. And then I was like, I've been in here for like 10 minutes. if I wasn't noticed as the guy using up the washer before.

Now, like, right? Yeah. So, like, I was like, I just, I was like, it's been too long. I just have to, I just have to hail Mary. Yeah. And I flushed it and it started doing the same thing again, unchanged, except now I had no clearance. So you just left?

So, no, so the water, like, there was no room for it to go this time. So it all just started, like, it got to the top of the lid and all the contents were, like, bumping against the side of the seat as the water was just flowing over the sides. Like, and there was no drain in the floor. it was tiles but they hadn't put a drain in and the floor was just flat no drain so it was like going our head was like stepping back

trying not to get on my shoes I don't think they always expected to be like a public pool I think most people I don't have a fucking drain in my bathroom we just make a assumption people are gonna fucking shit all over their floor you don't have dozens of assholes coming over to your place drinking beers and eating Mexican food either so maybe that would be something to considerate you did

this weekend we kind of did yeah that's a good point did you feel like you could use the drain we did actually have a clog on the second floor yeah ironically well there you go this. So the water's going through like all the tiles and it's creeping and it starts going outside the door. No it isn't. No it isn't. Because it's not a very big room and the water it like it starts slowly like slowly but surely there's that extra like half inch of space under the door and I was like this is so fucking whack. We have to leave right now. We have to leave now.

It was the kind of place where you pay up front. Yeah. So we could just go right. So I opened the door crack to look to see what the situation was to make sure I had the clearance to just fucking beeline it out. And I saw my friend at the bar. Oh okay. He had just like just as I opened the door and looked, the bartender was putting down another drink right in front of him. And I was like, we are so fucking hooped. Like, I don't know how. Like, I don't know how we're going to get out of this without me.

I was just like, chick waiting to use the bathroom because her nerves was like busy. And she, you just stared her right in the eyes and had to slam the door in her face. Can I tell a related story about this? There's more. There is more, yeah. Okay, keep on.

So, but bookmark that shit. Right, right. No, so this is like the men's washroom. And then there's the women's washroom. So luckily in that case, it was all right, but only by a hair. Like, this was still heinous. So I looked at my friends getting a drink, and I knew I had to stay.

Like, I couldn't possibly be like, dude, I overflowed the toilet with this awful shit approach. And now it's like, we can't stay here. We can't tell them what I did and they stay and keep thinking. So I was like, but I have to get in front of this. I have to get ahead of this. Yeah. So I went to the bar that I assessed that the bartender was also kind of running the show. Okay.

So he was the guy to talk to. So I went up all like, Hey, man, listen, you know, like, I hate to be that guy, because you probably already are on top of this, but I just want to make sure, like, there's something going on in the washroom, like, something that happened. I don't want to say anything too bad. I don't want to say, he was like, what is it? And I was like, I don't want to say anything like other people are going to hear. I don't want it to sound bad for you.

But just so, you know, like, it's with the toilet and there's some stuff. And he was like, oh, is it like overflowing? Like, is there a mess? And I was like, yeah, I look, it's cool. I don't know. I don't care. but it's just, it's bad. I just thought you should know.

I just want to make sure you... Yeah. It's real bad. And so then those poor kids who... You know, like there's movies that are like bad, you know, but there's still something kind of redeeming. And then there's movies that are just, they make you angry. Yeah.

You're really mad that you watched it. That's just... It's a little bit. Just be ready for that. Yeah, I don't know who would have done some... This isn't like somebody dropped a turd in the middle of the floor and someone's got to pick it up. No, this is your shit water's flowing around the hallway.

Yeah, and this is toxic. This is a biohazard. So he was like, oh, you got a, yeah, you got to love when people just come in here and mess up the washrooms and leave. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. And so then, you know, you got those poor kids who made the burritos to take care of it. And then I'm sitting there still drinking beer. I just got another beer at that point.

And then they're joking. And then they're joking. What? What? That's a questionable strategy. But then later I was like, I told my friend. I was like, yeah, that was fucking totally me. He was shocked.

Why didn't you go up to the kid? You're like, listen, I'm red minus. And my shit's on the floor in there. You can have some. You can have some. It's free. I don't normally do this, but you can have it. This is a special.

It's a gift for me of you. I'll even take a selfie with you in front of the toilet. Yeah, we can do it. We can have one of those old MySpace picks of like, you know, the girl taking the selfie with the full toilet in the background. Yeah. That can be us. We can redo that 2014. So that was, so then, but you got away with it.

We got away with it. We said, in fact, you came off as a hero. Or not a hero, but a good Samaritan. Yeah, a nice guy who's just having a couple beers and not destroying the rest. restaurant. When in fact you were a shit-mongering mess-mongering. I monged. You monged together. What are you guys? Sorry.

Well, this is related to Pico Day with the toilet. Oh no. This is what I heard. Now, I want to tell, hopefully I get this, the details correct. But you won't believe this Mick. So, of course we like, Tom buys a million rolls of toilet paper, run out. I don't even use the fuck, I didn't even use the bathroom walls the whole time. I'm just going to go home and use... I don't care.

I'm not even going in there. It's a disaster. People are crazy. People are crossing the trees. People start using the thick paper towels to flush them down the toilet. It gets clogged. I think exactly what you were describing was occurring. Yeah, and for anyone who doesn't know, the washroom setup is identical to what I described, right?

It's just a room with a toilet, a flat floor, no drain. Right. So, holy shit, this is happening to us. You know who comes to the rescue, if I get this correct? You know, there's a fan of ours who listens to the podcast. Shout out. This is a proper shout out right now. shout out. I think this is what I think this is correct now I apologize if I didn't get

wrong with it. I heard this too and I think like separate from you and I'm pretty sure you got it right. Okay. Okay good good. Yeah. There's a fan to listen to us and he set as boxes of stuff in the past. Okay. And he was there at Pico Day. Awesome. And his username just happened to be the janitor. Oh. And he's a janitor. Oh. And he's a artist, but he's also a janitor. And it's a really nice guy. And I met him. He's a cool guy. And he went in there and he fixed the toilet because

he's like, yeah, I do this all day, apparently. And he unclogged it. Wow. I think he reached... I don't know. I think he reached into it and pulled and unclogged it. Yeah. Because he's used to doing terrible things all day. It is interesting. It's not like I've ever been in a scenario

where I didn't have to use like a paper towel. Like sometimes that's what you do. Yeah, everyone's experienced that. feel like you either really got to just be a sociopath or you know what I mean? Just like you what you wipe your butt with a whole fucking paper towel throw it in there and

flush it I mean, just use the whole newspaper. Yeah, you might I mean yeah just take a pillow just fucking take somebody else's fucking yeah their pillow wipe it on your butt and then throw it in the toilet flush it it's like come on man what do you think's happening here? When I was a kid in my house

I lived like I guess when I was like a teenager like in high school we lived in this house for a bit that we were just running. And the ground level washroom, at some point I was using the toilet at night, and you know that little springy thing that keeps the toilet paper roll in place? I was changing the toilet paper roll,

and that shit bounced out, and I couldn't find it. Like, I couldn't find it over the whole room. It was like two in the morning, and I was, like, where the fuck could it go? It was like the Ben Stiller cum shot and something about there. It's exactly, yeah, it's 100%. And so, like, I eventually just gave up,

and I was like, I guess it's just gone. And it became clear, like, within the coming weeks that it must have gone down the toilet. Because like we had these problems where like sometimes it would flush okay and then sometimes for a period of a couple days it would be real backed up and you'd have like all these problems with it And it was basically fine we lived there for another year and a half probably and then the owners sold the place and We found out that within like like a couple weeks of them taking ownership the pipes blew up and they found like yeah they did find like somehow we found out about it and that it would they knew that it was like this debris It was yeah so I wonder how careful people I always wonder how many people like you know houses have these histories and And I always wonder, like, what are some of the weirdest things people find in these houses they buy?

You know what I mean? Like, a pipe bursts. They open up a wall to fix the pipe. And there's, like, the fucking skeleton of three children or something in the wall. You know what? You know, that's got to happen. Yeah, I'm sure. It's absolutely happened.

Yeah, there's no way it hasn't really, just statistically. I mean, but, and then digging, you know, for a foundation for something. You know, somebody's buried somebody or something in the backyard they weren't supposed to. Or, like, common stuff like there's a wasp's nest that's in the wall and stuff like that. when you just, you know, go to do a standard repair and you find like some fucking aggressive insects. But I'm talking weird. I'm talking like a bag of money. It's weird. A bag of money. I don't know. Something like a wasm nest seems actually pretty common. Or at least it seems, it seems within the realm of reason.

Seems like on the internet, people are always finding hidden safes, but they're always empty. I've heard of people like finding money. I've actually heard of that. Okay. Well, there's that one show. What is the pawn? Not the point, the, the, there's a, these reality shows have like gotten so, so desperate to like, you know what I mean? Like in terms of like the topics that they cover, like it's not even about extreme houses anymore. It's like storage spaces. That's it.

They have auctions for storage. Storage wars? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's what it was. Okay. But these guys find several things almost every episode. They find a safe. Yeah.

They find a gun. And oftentimes just a lot of other garbage. But the gun is really important because they have a gun guy. and it's supposed to be like a surprise every episode they're like look what we found and they're like you'll never believe it but then they actually have a guy who like

he appraises guns he fixes guns he shoots guns and then half the episode is them like blowing up watermelons with shit they find in the storage unit but it's all supposed to be just about the storage unit but I haven't yeah I'm just curious like you fucking go into some storage unit

and they auction it off and you open up a refrigerator and there's just like a fucking rat king in there you know just like just reiling. Yeah. Like a big jello blob. That's what I hate about those fucking shows. I just,

they minimize the most interesting aspect. They're like, oh, here's the history of this object. Instead, it's like, oh, we found a crossbow.

Let's go shooting the field for 20 minutes of the episode. It's true. We're shooting various objects at a field. And then they do it in slow-mo. Yeah. And they tease it before the commercials, too.

Yeah. You won't believe. You won't believe what we do with this crossbow. You come back. Yeah, okay. You figured it out.

Yeah, no, you figured that one out. Yeah, I didn't need to see it. I don't know. I think the future of television is a lot like, I don't know, the internet too, where you can like specify things so minutely. You know, like if you have a fetish, like let's say it's literally getting smacked in your left eye with, you know, a three-day old fish, something really specific, something really weird. There's hundreds of people out there who are probably like absolutely on board.

Some, what were they showing downstairs? There was some like Korean girl on YouTube who was like shoveling ketchup. Oh, she just eating? No, she was in a bathtub full of ketchup. And she was shovel. She had a shovel and was shoveling it onto like a huge like garbage pail of fries. And she was like rubbing it on her face and like, I don't know, it was so weird. It's really good.

I like when they put him to work. You know? Make sure. There was definitely effort. No, my favorite. Somebody, somebody listening to this knows what I'm talking about. She's got like over 100,000 subscribers. And she like makes out with her Korean boyfriend.

She speaks Korean pretty much primarily. There's a video where she's, it's from the POV of somebody chasing her. And she's just running down a tunnel. Like she's like in a big freeway tunnel, but like really poorly. Like she clearly doesn't know how to run. And she's clearly not really running away. And so she's like looking behind her, but it's like really awkwardly. And she keeps falling down really awkwardly.

Like not really falling. like, you know, play falling. But she's, like, screaming, like, no, no. She's, like, scared the whole time. And, like, eventually, like, she, like, hits the ground. She doesn't even try to get up.

She just kind of, like, rolls around, like, in agony or something like that. I don't know. It's, like, the perfect video. It's, like, the POV rape scene video. Like, wow, I really needed that I'm chasing some Asian girl down a tunnel video. I, like, yeah, I haven't heard of that,

but I bet you could just search, like, Korean broad shoveling catch up. And that would be the first thing. Broad. choose the word. That's the medically correct term, but you could use a different term. Tunnel chase rate POV. I'm sure she shows up too.

It's less interesting, but I'm the same vein. I was finding weird how anytime I want to find a random scene from any movie almost ever made, I just type it in and it's somebody isolated that clip and put it on YouTube. Who are these people doing this? But thanks. What's up? But thanks. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you for that. But I just like almost anything you can look for, any scene, it's just there. You know, I don't know if I appreciate it or if I am annoyed by it, but sometimes when people find those scenes and they upload it and it clearly has the worst quality ever. And like it's almost inaudible. Like they've been doing it off of their television or like off of their laptop. Like they like use their phone to record their something else. And it's just like, why did you even upload this? Or they take an action scene and they put nickel back.

I was like, I'm like, I want to look up this one scene from Battlestar Galactica because I haven't seen it in a few years. it's fucking spaceships fighting over Nickelback. Oh yeah. It's just going to find this guy and kill him. Or just Lincoln Park over every anime clip ever. I hate you so much, Dad. Death Note or some Dragon Ball thing, some compilation. Of course.

You know, I bet if you were to find like best of Vegeta, there's got to be just some of the best. Why hasn't an anime company picked up on this? They're like, let's get Lincoln Park to actually score this anime movie. You know? Score it. Dude, if Lincoln Park scored it. the next Sonic series, which was a little edgier than Sonic Boom,

kids would just, they would literally explode, like spontaneously. Do kids now, do kids now still, is Lincoln Park still a thing, or is that like, is that like when you look up the video and it's always Lincoln Park, but the date on the upload is like 2007. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what they listen to now. What are kids listening to now? I don't know.

Like, they're not even listening to Skrillix anymore. Even that's like, whatever grandpa. Yeah, that's played. Yeah. I don't know what, whatever is new. It's so, it's so interesting, whatever they... We don't know on grown-up cast, no 2016.

Yeah, we're all fucking old. Is Dead Mouse still a thing? I don't know. I saw there's a guy named Marshmallow. Marshall? Yeah, he wears like a marshmallow on his head. He actually... Running out of names, I guess.

What these awkward dwebs listen to? These incomplete little humans, what do they listen to me? They should make a playlist for us. I want to know. What's filling the void? I want to be, yeah, I want to be in the know. I don't know, maybe it's regressing. Maybe it's going back.

Going back to my chemical romance. Everyone's gone back. Evanescence. It's the black parade all over again. We're going back. It's so infuriating reading articles about this stuff because these marketers are like, you know, kids are so cool. They, they're always into the coolest stuff. And I'm like, no.

No. No, no. They're like. It's what the millennials are saying these days on clique. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that what the guy said? Oh, God. Taco Bell's performance this quarter has been on clique.

Oh, my God. And, you know, it's not even bad enough you say it once wrong. It's the fact that you just keep repeating. It's like somebody who says somebody's name wrong. They just keep fucking saying it again and again. It just, the first time you're like, ooh, and then the next time, it just keeps getting...

It's not like you get used to it. It actually just gets worse. Like the first couple times we give you a pass. You need a mistake. And then eventually you just want to stand up and be like, you know what, can we just stop the conversation? I was talking to, I think I told Red about this,

but how, you know, this internet culture, I really feel like I'm so detached from it. Where I won't say, I won't say who told me this, but he works in a very popular company, a very, very successful company. And there's younger millennials working there, and they all use internet speak. Like, you know, like when you post like a huge story, but then you put a little recap in the end and it says like TLDR or whatever, which is like, I barely even know about this. But they actually say it like a word. It's like they'll tell a whole thing. And Tildier.

No, they don't. No, they don't. Yeah, they call it like Tildier. No, they don't. That's like a scene from fucking, what's that gay-ass fucking show with those guys from the internet? They're supposed to be nerds, but they're not. They're fucking, Big Bang Theory? Yeah, that thing.

God damn. That atrocity. He let out an exasperated sigh and her eye roll and I'm like, he has to be telling the truth. That, I mean, that sounds like something they would do. That bit that Lyle made that little clip that was going around that I think probably everyone has seen at this point where it's just a scene from the Big Bang theory and then him screaming at it and it perfectly sums it up. Yeah. Like, I don't know what that fucking show. I replied to that.

I was like... Do you know popular? That thing is popular. Yeah, I don't... It's very popular. You mean his tweet or the show? No, the show? I think they're neck and neck.

Many, many people enjoy... People love it. I'm shocked. Watch that show. They... You know what? They're at work. They're not having the best day.

And the one thing going through their mind isn't completing the task in front of them. It's, man, I can't wait to get home, kick off my shoes, fucking grab my Chipotle burrito and sit down and fucking pull up. my DVR and watch this fucking Big Bang Theory show. You join a little BBT? It's things like this that ruin relationships and

families because, you know, you have aunts and uncles are like, I love that show. And I just... It's a great teap. You know, the main demographic is younger people. You'd think it was like these out of touch older people that are like, oh, I have a nephew like that. It's a lot of both. It's like moms.

No, there is, yeah. There is definitely them. But there's a lot of people of that age demographic. Anything with a laugh track just makes me go fucking Berserk. I don't know how that's still... I don't know why laugh tracks still exist. It was like a relic, like some sort of

intermediary between like when shows used to be all stage shows and they didn't know how to adapt what people expected to see as a stage show to TV so they had laugh tracks for a long time. Computer enthusiasm doesn't have a laugh track. No, that's why it works. Because the timing for all the jokes and everything,

there's no pauses. That's why all those things like you see friends where they take the laugh track out and stuff, it's awkward because everyone's pausing unnaturally and looking at each other right in the face. Do you think, because we're in this circle of animators, like we see a lot of off-kilter types of humor, that it's sort of, I don't know, like, tainted us to, we can't watch this very standard.

Of course. Yes, definitely. I think so, but at the same time, it's like, I don't know. I don't think it's tainted us so much as, you know, it's like people who don't eat a lot of different foods, don't necessarily. I don't want to say our humor's evolved, but it's gone off of this separate little track. No, I do think it's evolved.

Okay. I think it's not only evolved, I think it's, I think we have a wider palette. Because we watch a lot of different types of things. Yeah, I really do just like watch stuff all day and think about it all day. Most people, like you say, just go to work and they eat the burrito and then enjoy Big Bang Theory. All they know is. Just like a nice way, it probably feels nice in the way that being lobotomized would suck. But afterwards, you just kind of chill.

Like the idea that's not appealing. Yeah. And that isn't to say that, you know, that they're very well maybe plenty of, you know, fucking valuable merits to some of these shows. But from what I've seen, I mean, It's just I don't understand. I don't understand. It's a dude.

I think a lobotomy is probably the closest thing you can come to. No, no, no. Not to be condescending, but literally something that just kind of shuts off your brain. You know, you had a long day. You fucking hate your job. You just want to watch something that you don't even, you know, it just kind of zones you out. You can know, Joe, I was telling him one time I really liked his cartoons and stuff.

We were talking a bit. This was quite a while back, but he made the point that, like, he said something to the effect of, you have to spend a lot of time on the internet in order to get. get my cartoons. Yeah. And actually that's summed it up the best. No, that is actually a really good assessment. Yeah. And I think we see those cartoons too

where most of the time, and it was like, I'm in the weird part of the internet or whatever and we're just looking around like, no, that's just Mark M. You know, like we know exactly what this is. Conversely, some animators, they almost go off the rails so far. It's like nobody understands them anymore.

That's true too. Like, all right, I'll just say their names, but I don't care. Like, Mark M and like even this guy, I know read Loll. Not red lobster. Sexual lobster. Their humor, I love their stuff, but it's gone so far off of this weird tangent direction. It's like only they find it funny anymore. You know, I don't think it's gone all the way there.

They dip over to that place because they're clearly, like I still see things from them that I totally absolutely get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I get a glimpse of. But sometimes, it's not just like it's not funny. It's clearly what they wanted to make, but it's. weird. Yeah. There is a punchline. It's just not for you. Right, right. It wasn't meant for you. I don't know who was meant for. Yeah, that's the thing. It's not clear. I don't know. And you know, I was working on some collabs and some of them, it's like collabs with Twitch and Twitch users, like

audience members come in and I do this, this collab. And I enjoy the process a lot. And looking back, it's interesting, because when I'm in the chat and we're sitting there talking about these ideas, like a half-merman Rob Schneider, you know, like character, it seems to make so much sense. Yeah. Like in the moment, you know, the ideas just keep rolling. And it's like, oh, and what if and what if and what if and what if? And it's like, oh my God, this is only getting better.

And then, you know, everyone's happy. At the end of the night, we're all high-fiving each other. We're like, holy shit, this is going to be so fun. I can't wait to see what this turns out to be. We make it. Even then we're like, yeah, yeah, no, this turned out great. We're really happy without it turned out. And then like three days later, I go back to like show it to somebody.

And it's not even their reaction. It's just having them in the room while I'm watching it without any context. And I'm the one like, yeah. Yeah, you did, you did kind of have that reaction when I was watching. You showed me those three the other day. And without, I watched them with no context. Yes. I thought that, like, I think I enjoyed them more just watching them with no context.

I thought they were funnier with just no like just here look at this shit yeah like I guess I wouldn't have known that that half mermaid thing was Rob Schneider yeah but I don't think I didn't feel like I needed to I didn't feel like knowing it was Rob Schneider and made it better or worse but but like I thought it was funny like that it was

it was two top halves together like what the fuck that's because so okay this is this is here's a question but it's like do you sorry just yeah no this is a different direction I am I am curious do you then stick to your guns.

Do you, you know, like Mark M or sexual lobster or you know, the guy who did salad fingers or you know, like David Firth, do you just keep going? You just keep going. You keep going all the way. You don't look back.

You don't hesitate. You don't let people catch up. You just fucking go where you want to go. I think so. I think you should. And I think maybe there's a point in that process of going further and further down your own rabbit hole where maybe you have to stop and evaluate what you're doing for the sake of

considering whether it's what you want to do or whether you're just getting more extreme in a way that's not beneficial to anyone but I don't think that pushing a concept further or pushing an approach further of being weirder because that's coming naturally should be something you stop doing because you're afraid of alienating

people. I think it's better to keep into like a John Kaye situation but even I don't think that was so much like pushing a stop. That was just him not having people to like, you know, moderate the insanity. I'll say this real quick, a quick aside. I did that Mick Lauer experiment once

where I actually just listened to the chat. I'm like, I'll just draw what you want. You know what happened? What happened was I ended up drawing a fictional Sonic the Hedgehog character named Who's the Goat? He had a Mohawk, he vapeed, he had a nose ring. Yeah.

And he loves pizza rolls. Dude, you... Holy fuck, dude. This sounds like... This sounds like a perfect Sonic character. Well, the arts on my Twitter, and I'm so sorry. Is that what that was? No, that sounds like a perfect Sonic character.

From Sonic High. He's turned the fan on real life for too long and he will be. He's like the bebop of fucking Sonic High. Yeah, that's big. He is the bebop of Sonic the Hedgehog Land. Yeah, that's awesome. The end. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

So, okay, scenario. You're gonna fuck a mermaid. Would you rather? And okay, obviously it goes without saying, but saying neither is not an option. You got to pick. Top half fish or bottom half fish? Top half human or bottom half human?

You gotta fuck this mermaid. How you do it is up to you. What do fish have? They're like a cloaca type. Is it scaly? I'm not looking at a fish face. I'm not looking at a fish head. I'll just take the bottom half.

I'll just deal with it. I don't care. You'll leave the bottom half? I'll like the bottom half. Bottom half can be the fish. Fine. You wouldn't even know where to stick. You're just, but assume for the sake of this argument that you would.

And it's, it would be, it would be exactly. It would be a slimy ass fish vagina. Yeah, exactly as appealing as you think. It's just a slimy hole. I don't know, let's be honest, guys. Let's be dead honest. Do we think, uh, a human-sized fish vagina feels better or worse than a human-sized human vagina? I'm fucking know, you don't know.

I'll put it, I'm willing to take my chances. I'll say that. Someone, someone has had you have, like, fucked a dolphin at some point. Oh yeah, not just someone. That's like a thing. There's dudes. He's a thing. Yeah, there's like

dude's fucking dolphins all the time of saying it's looking up. There's like some dude on the, who's like talking about trying to marry his dolphin and shit. Like, I've heard the inverse.

I heard the dolphin fucking women, but I haven't heard the guy's fucking the dog. Yeah, that was like his justification for why it's okay because the dolphins. Oh, because girls are doing it.

Yeah, the dolphins are down categorically. So it's okay for him to fuck this dolphin. I don't know, man. Mick's not getting off the hook with the mermaid.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. How nice. is this bottom half, this human Are you planning on staring at it? No, I wouldn't. I'd just flip it around backwards to have it fucking throw a drape over its ass and just glory-hold.

What do you mean? I can't cover it. Nobody said I could close my eyes. I guess you can cover it, but you'd still have to, in your eyes. Is it making fish sounds? Can it talk? Yeah, it would be like, it would be like a rockfish like with the, like the mud. Do you have to have in water? The eyes would be like... Otherwise it's just

suffocating. Good question. That actually might be more exciting. fucking a suffocating half-mer person. You'd be giving it a swirly in the toilet at the same time. Yeah. Isn't that a fetish? Yeah, that is. Head in toilet?

Head in toilet, but flushing at the same time. Um, yeah, man, I mean, I, look, I totally understand where Jeff is coming from. And me. I'm with Jeff on that one. Oh, really? So yeah. I don't know. I don't think it's as cut and dry as you guys are trying to make it sound.

If it was a bear, it was a bear top or bear bottle? Bear, like, what kind of bear? I don't know. Bear to scale and human to scale? Like a normal size bear bottom and a normal size. The middle of a female bottom and a bear top. I never really considered. I'll even let you scale them down a little bit.

No, no. Slightly to make it. Don't even scale it. Honestly, I just want to fuck a bear. I think, this is fucking full-blown bear. I believe you. I believe you.

I think bear top half, human bottom half is out of the question because of the claws in the teeth. Yeah. You don't want a woman, you don't want a woman with bear. Claws. That would be very bad. Yeah. And also the head of a bear. Depends on the position, though. Yeah. So I guess we're across the board in agreement

that you would have to... What? The bare bottom, I think that's what I think. Bear bottom? With that little fluffy bear tail sticking out. I don't think I'd want to be staring into a bear's face while I was fucking in it. That's true. That's true. It seems to come with a lot of risk just by virtue of being a bear. Well, hold on. Hold on. That's a whole other

bag of beans then. I mean, you're saying that like it's a sentient bear. Right. Like the bears has a different consciousness. It's a bear in the woods running around. This happens to have a woman's like, you know, body bottom half? It's a real bear. It'd be like a bear maid, I guess. It's Jeff's bear. Oh, I guess technically

whatever the maid is, so like bear made or mermaid or whatever, it's brain is the top half. Well that's that puts things, we assume that, yeah. Right. If it has the head of a bear, it's thinking like a bear. Yeah, well then that's nuts. What about Brodies? Do

Brodies want a pony top half or pony bottom half? They want pony all 100%. But it's like an anthropomorphized pony already. So it's basically just got like two knees per leg. Who's worse? Bronies are furries? Who's committing more atrocities in the world?

I find, I think bronies. Because furries is a broader category. And I talk to some furries. I know some people who are furries. And at some point with all of them, I've been like, look, is this like a sexual thing or what's the deal? It's like a performance thing. And most of them say either it's some interesting.

section of the two or that it's more performance. I'm not going to lie, those suits look really comfortable. I'm going to say bronies are more emotionally damaged in front of some more sexual deviants. I was going to totally agree with you, but now I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Don't take their sides. Don't even, don't even, don't even, don't even, don't even, just a perfect comfortable.

We are siding? Dude, it's like, which one are we insulting more at this point? I mean, I think that, I would say that furies at least to a degree, the notion of like a full-blown animal rather than like a cartoon character. And it's not even like a real horse, you know what I mean, or a real pony. I mean, it's like a, it's like saying you want to fuck a Disney character.

If they had a little more variety in the outfits, like if they weren't all like blue dogs and purple wolves and shit, if they were like a turtle or a fish or something, or look like Big Bird or just like an intentionally stupid-looking animal. He's big bird of furry. It's technically Big Bird or Furry. I think he's too stupid-looking to be. a furry. I don't know.

All these... Is that one who are doing too much better? You got to be smart? You're going to be sexy? You're going to be sexy? Probably. They all want to be sexy. They want to be furry and sexy. They want to have like cute little paws and like they want to be on like this winking, smirking face. It's interesting because I'm curious with like bronies.

Is it kind of like with gay people how you have like a top and a bottom or like you have clearly the more kind of feminine type one and the more masculine type one. Do you have bronies that want to be ponies And then the bronies that want...

Do you have bronies that want to be ponies fucked by people? Or by other brony ponies? Or maybe just want to be melted from behind? Right. Or do you have, you know, bronies that just want to mount other ponies? Regular ponies? I'm just saying, I feel like there's...

I think we've... I'm realizing now that I have kind of clumped them all together and that I've made that, you know, very poor generalization. In fact, there is quite a variety here. whatever situation makes them forget being touched by their father or uncle. I was going to say we need like a proper brony in here to answer some questions. But I think Jeff just answered.

Before. I could be wrong, but I'm going to be wrong, but in all seriousness, I am always curious about that stuff. Like very genuinely. And yes, maybe there is some touching for all you know. I would love the interview one for a while. I just want to break them down. Like, I want to understand. I do.

I want to understand this. Well, you know what they're going to tell you. They have the same argument for all of it. It's, the cartoon's very well animated. That's number one. Number two is that it's a positive message. Well, no, I mean, I don't think it's like the best animated show in the world at all. It looks like a fucking flash cartoon.

It literally is, by the way. Well, no, that's not an insult. It's a very well done flash cartoon, but it's not like fucking, it's not, you know, Disney. I don't care. They can have all the excuses in the world. It's a little girl. It's a show for little girls. I've tried watching clips a bit.

But no, no, you don't understand. It didn't turn you. It has reference. Like I know it's like for it's subtle. Yeah, subtle reference. No, it's like, Hi, Apple Jack, you'd be friends, yeah. That's the show.

Listen, you cave man, all right. It has subtle tones like a fine wine. You watch a couple episodes, you can taste it. You gotta have the palate for that stuff. That's right. There's something for every pony. Maybe. Jeff, you'd need it.

Oh my God. It's like religious converts, you know, like the people who resist the hardest for the ones they want to convert the most. I was just gonna say. We're gonna come back here next year. Oh, they do. They try. Oh, they would want, they would want you so, dude, they would be like, you have the hat, you have the attitude.

They already know exactly what the Jeff Pony looks like. In fact, hey, everybody listening to this, if you're an artist, please submit on Twitter to Jeff. I don't know why you do this. On Twitter, what you think his pony. You're such a fucking cock, man. It's like, you know they're gonna do it. And you know, like, they listen. Look, I know they all, like, if you're a bro.

You're listening, don't, don't. Don't. Oh, that's gonna stop him. Don't. I think you solved it. You're not gonna see you now. Look, I'm aware how many people follow me with like little furry brony icons.

I know, I know you're out there. Your pony would look amazing. Yeah, what's your cutie mark? What's Jeff's cutie mark? Angry face. Okay. What does that mean? What's Jeff's cutie mark?

It's a frowny face. It's a frowny face with a baseball cap. Yeah. Or just the baseball cap. It's a letter P. Yeah. That would actually be nice and subtle. If you're gonna draw Mesa Pony,

you better fucking draw Mids a pony. as a pony. No. Oh yes. There's no need to. Yes. Don't even think of drawing Red Monis is a pony because he's our guest and we would be with that. There is one I've seen a pony of you. Really? Yeah. Oh no, you're right. Yes, someone did that already. Someone did that already. Yeah. And I didn't mind.

And the mustache and everything. Yeah. Yeah. What would your pony name be, Mick? Tell us. Like grumpy fart. Grumpy fart. Yeah. Grumpy fart. Old fart. Greyfarts. Great fart. Would your pony have a mane or know? A mane. Yeah. You know, my pony would be fucking bald on top. Yeah. Like really magey kind of all on top, but it then will have like a ring of, yeah, it would have a main, like a lion's main, but like close to its neck.

Right, it would stop below the ears. Yeah. It's like, he's like Reds pony, like the wiser sage pony in the town. The manicured, the manicured be like the perfect beard. I got to dig that up. No, someone drew that already. I got to dig that up. Yeah, no, someone did.

I can't remember where it was either on Instagram or Twitter or something, but I have that somewhere. I saved it. I don't even block people for being assholes. I block them for sending me stupid shit. I was going to block. I've yet to block anybody. The only notification they get is if you tell them.

Yeah. I just blocked you, by the way. Good luck replying to this one. That's what I love about YouTube comments when people felt the need to tell you that they were going to unsubscribe. Yeah, thanks for the heads up. Yeah, it's like, oh no. But then you sometimes they do that once in a while you go look at their page and they shows their subs and it's, they never did. So that's just an attention play.

Even better, you just see their fucking, it's like these weird call of duty compilations. some fucking like Japanese people falling down just fucking in fairness that's pretty actually no that that would be oh fuck see no that I would have enjoyed watching that oh yeah you ever just like filter like fine words like

you can filter just words in your YouTube comments people can't comment if it has a word in it it'll block their comment really you can filter all kinds of stuff if you're just sick of hearing it or you can filter random shit to just frustrate people wait do they know that their comments didn't get through I actually haven't checked I don't know

I don't know I think they don't I think because the comment still gets made and they still see it on their end, but no one else does and maybe they're not aware of it. I don't know. As far as words, I would ban, yeah, it would just be some ridiculously random words. Yeah, just random stuff. Something that people do write though, but it's random. Yeah.

That was the best thing Newgrounds ever did, by the way, and the one April Fool's, we didn't ban words, it's swapped words. Like, anytime you had certain words, it swapped it with a different word. Yeah. And it just made all these sentences make no sense. Or it's like, you turned the word fuck into like bicycle or something. And that way, that was for reviews? No, that was for everything, but it was

on, we called it like China grounds. So it was like, the whole idea was like the whole site was censored. Yeah, because it was like, it was supposed to have been purchased by the Chinese government. That was infuriate. I mean, because with the review system you can only drop one review, I can imagine people being infuriated.

So many people thought it was real, too. But I mean, it switched it back afterwards, right? Yeah, yeah. But we changed even words like if they said like, oh, this movie's great. We swapped the word great with something weird and like everybody's like all confused. And like, what do you mean by that? I don't. I just love.

like if you tried to respond to a comment like that, your response would be equally as ridiculous trying to respond. Yeah, everybody was so like, what is happening here? That was fun, I don't know. Fuck allergies, Nick. That's all I want to say. Yeah. Yeah, this dude's plugged up. I'm so apologize. Everybody's listening to me fucking sniffle

the whole time. You've been a brave... The fucking dying here. Been a brave warrior. I'm dying for you people. It's been nice. What are allergies? You know what I mean? What really are allergies? I think it's fucked up that like people are allergies. It's supposed to be like your immune system, like,

doing you a solid, but people can be like allergic to milk and just fucking die. No, no, no, no, no, pollen allergies. Oh, pollen allergies? What the fucker? Because as far as I know, as far as basic deduction is concerned, it's basically Earth saying, die. It's Mother Nature saying, I hope you suffocate in your sleep or rip your eyeballs out on your own. Go die.

Yeah, Earth, planet Earth is telling me stay away from cats. Cats are bad. No cats, no dogs. I can't be a furry. Sorry. That's, oh, that's, no, we've gotten to the root of the problem. It's been determined by. You're allergic to furies.

I can't be a furry. I'm not allowed. Horses. Are you allergic to horses? I'm not allowed. I'm not around enough horses. Are you a ring to horse? No. No, I haven't. I pet a horse once. Did that work out? He was very nice. Very gentle animal. There's your end, guys.

Pony's. Oh, you were tricks. Oh. Oh, my. It was a large horse. But you're not making this better. Horses are cool. You know what? They have a name. for you in the brony world. Oh, they do. Yeah, they're subdivided it to different...

Oh, yeah? Do tell. Do tell. Is this a stallion? I don't know. That sounds like you could be. I don't want to offend any bronies by getting it wrong. Basically, you just draw you big and buff.

Yeah, you're more square. Yeah, you're more blocky. You're a Clydesdale, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're just a big hooved asshole. I think Red Minus is a black beauty. Yeah, it's like a fucking show horse. He's jumping over.

You'd look really good with... Dressage. With like a fucking Dracula. What's this ploo? that they have in the very front, you know, like a big poofy red thing right in front of you. Yeah, okay. Do you have one of those? I have like a, I have a silk scarf.

I don't know how to tie it, though. I mean, I don't. Do people ever tell you you look like a fucking vampire from World War I? I'm saying, like, him and Hans could both play, like, Satan really well. Yeah. Yeah. Together. Together. Like, yeah, like, you're like Satan brothers or something. Like, my two Satan's. Yeah. He's like the gay brother,

the gay Satan. And you're like the straight Satan. Yeah. You're both Satan. Isn't that show? It was from the late 80s or something. It was called My Two Dads. Yeah, yeah. And the whole intro of the show was like the girl explaining why she has two dads. I don't remember that part.

She was like, why do I have two dads? Here's why. Because this happened and then this happened. Now they're both my dad. And I think that like, as a kid, I was like, okay, that's the show opening. But like now as an adult in hindsight and it was the 80s, maybe like that was to reassure like the people of the day that like, no, no, no, this isn't like a gay thing. She just has two dads.

Calm down. Yeah. I just remember in that show like. Like one of them was like a weird kind of salvagey fix-it-up kind of guy and they had a table that was made of like a bike wheel so it would rotate. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought that was cool because I was a kid and I was stupid. You know, the 80s is interesting.

The 80s was a time when people really did feel the need to kind of subvert like just kind of under the radar express their gayness. Like you had people like George Michael. You had, you know, with songs that were very clearly about fucking dudes. at that point Queen was already quite popular but there were some women singers that came out too that were doing their stuff and there was kind of a gay boom

yeah like in my memory I kind of think of the 80s as being like super flamboyant but then when I think about like my two dads I remember yeah no it was still

there was like bosom buddies yeah like perfect strangers perfect strangers that's what I was gonna say yeah Balke yeah the other one was gay

Balchi was like straight and weird but it's interesting like you know because nowadays It's like every show's got a gay guy or gay couple or something like that. But back then, you know, as flamboyant as we remember it and as many gay things that were happening in terms of like gay pride and and, you know, singers and songs and all that stuff. You know, mainstream media is still very straight. Like very straight.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course. And homogenous. Now it's like, I don't know. I feel like they keep adding all these things like that are necessary in order to fill out all the slots. You need like, you know, an African American. you need a gay people,

you need, you know, some kind of Asian ethnicity, man or woman, you know, they're generally a comedic relief in some way. You know, there's almost like a formula like these, you've got to have these characters in order to create your show now.

All these groups want their, be represented. Yeah. But then, you know, they get mad if one of theirs is, like, killed or something on one of these shows. Yeah. I want to say, perfectly, my own argument, I feel like,

like controversial statement fellas I feel like in more TV white men are always getting these holes blown in their heads by shotguns and shit like the new daredevil like why aren't women getting more shotguns of the face? That's what I'm saying it's only fair it's only fair

I feel like they why are they marching for that you know what we're why are they picketing Hollywood I want to shot what you know women for shotguns in the face yeah women for shotguns to the face yeah it's a lot of mansplaining you two motherfuckers right now Man explaining

Man spreading. I don't appreciate Yeah, I appreciate man spreading. Let's know, like, tell you make, if you ever, if you ever say the word like problematic or toxic. Yeah.

Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. I've used both of those words, but not in the context that were, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. People stole those words. If I'm a, if I'm gonna, like cuck. That's weird.

That just sounds like chickens. That was just, people just fucking hijack these words and no one will ever know the meaning of these words. Yeah, that's a very, you need to be a very specific type of and for that word to even be used accurately.

I would actually be the correct usage, which is why I'm very aware of that word. And when people use it, I'm not offended. No, no, no, no, no. It wouldn't because it would have, no, no, no, no. You're not because it would, it's under the assumption you're cool with that happening.

You're supposed to be in on it. Yeah, you're just to be in on it. But see, the original usage of it was not that. The original usage, yeah, the original usage was more of like you're a fool because you don't know what's happening. It's like happening behind your back. I always assumed it was like, oh, he allows it. No, no.

As far as I'm concerned, it became... Well, now it is. Right. I think it became more of like, no, it's almost like a rape fantasy. It's the opposite. It's the... I'm getting cheated on fantasy. You know what I mean?

But I think initially the usage of it was more of... You were not aware of what's going on. I was thinking, like, is it like people sell... You know, some people like to make a sex tape of themselves and then watch it for some fucking reason? I guess because they want to watch the person that they're having sex with. No. But then, like...

I wonder like maybe, yeah, that does seem weird. But then I was thinking, like, maybe the whole thing is like you want to watch someone else do it because then you don't have to see your gross self. Like that's the last fucking thing I want to see. Like I, yeah. No, I mean, what was that one? There was that one on the, what's her name, Blank? Mr. and Mrs. Blank or something? I don't know.

There's like these weird you porn couples that just like hire people or have friends come over and fuck their girlfriends or whatever on film or something or something like that. And then they put it on the internet and just waiting for like one of their cousins or something to fucking come up. upon that and be like, oh yeah, that's my cousin. I forgot that. I always feel like when you go to the U-Porn and stuff, which I don't do that, I don't do that. I keep it wholesome. I always feel like that shit's fake. Oh yeah, porn hub. Sorry, porn hub's much better. No, but U-Porn

is a thing, though. I always feel like that shit's fake. Whenever they put like amateur, whatever, I always feel like it's just not. It's just filmed badly. So then someone's snickering behind the camera. No, it's definitely real. It's definitely real. Well, some of them have not. They'll do like cam stuff too. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, not that I watch it. I'm just, I am aware of it.

I know this girl who, um, when like several years ago she's only a couple years younger than me but at the time that this happened she was 17 so she was underage and there were these people in like a town over who like had this set up at their house where like the whole place was rigged with cameras

and they would just kind of invite friends over and then they'd like hang out and they'd all be like fucking for the weekend or something and they'd take all the footage and they just put it on like a paid site that you'd have to, it was behind a paywall and then so people would like sign up on the site and watch these videos

but then like at some point after they stopped doing it. All the videos made their way to like porn hobby shit. Oh yeah. Because somebody just fucking watch it, ripped it and then posted it. Yeah, yeah.

And they're not filmed well. They're filmed bad because it was like 2002. It looks like shit. But it's still like it's clear what's going on. It's not that bad. The quality I mean, as far as the video is concerned. So sometimes I play a game with myself.

I'll go to these sites and I'll figure out the right keywords to type in until I find the video how many pages I have to go to find it. It's usually not more than three. It's type in like amateur, orgy, like, yeah, whatever. And I'll find the video.

find it, it's fucking up there. And it's like, I just know for, like, I guess that's another thing with all this stuff. There's no way to prove it. Like, I know that girl is 17 years old and on this website. Yeah. That's fucking weird. It's so weird that, like, and I don't want to keep talking about it. I know Jeff doesn't really love talking about porn sites.

There's only one foreign video I like guys involves an Asian woman and spandex, not spandex, a lichro suit. And fucking mice. There's goldfish. Or goldfish. That's right. There's a food processor involved and pinching bullfish to death and fucking...

Did you watch that video? Did you actually watch that video? Stambers said it to me in like 2005 or something and I was horrified. And then we talked about it in like episode one of this Godforsaken podcast and then everybody's like, where is this video and I finally found it? You did find it. Yeah. So it does exist. Yep.

And it's... Wait, you found it on your computer because he said it to you? No, no, no. I found on the... I would search. Once a year I would do a search, I'm like, oh, curious. I'm morbidly curious. But I can never find it. This is like you and like what am I like high school ex-girlfriends or something. I'm like, I wonder what she's doing. But then I look her up like once every couple years. It's like, I can't find her. But then after I mentioned on the podcast, I'm like, all right, I'm really going to hunk her down. I'm going to find this fucking video. And I just like, I was like, I was finally searching. I finally found it. Yeah. It was like if you search like, I don't know. I think you all. I think honestly all you have to do is search like goldfish porn and it pops up. I wasn't searching hard enough. But what the next topic? Please.

Moving right along. All right, so some real, real hard-hitting questions. Are you ready? Yeah. You better be. Yeah. That's what I'm. Are you, in fact, zone?

Am I? Are you zone? Would you believe any answer I told you? Now I won't. That fucking pause and stutter now? Because think, let's just think, let's just break this down. Okay. If I am zone, I obviously have a vested interest in protecting that information.

I don't want you to think I am. Right. So I'm going to tell you I'm not. Sure. If I'm not zoned and I've been pretending to be this whole time, I'm going to keep that going, I'm going to tell you I am. Right. So if I say I am, I'm probably full of shit. And if I say I'm not, I'm probably full of shit. Also, if he is zone, he animates a hell of a lot. Yeah, it's true. If he's red,

if he's red minus and zone, that's a lot of work. But see, if you know red minus, you also know that he comes out with a cartoon like every three years. So as far as I'm concerned, he is actually zone working on other shit in between that. He does more than that. Come on now. It's a backheaded compliment for you. Oh, come on. Yeah. No, no, no. I don't know.

I'm trying to... Jeff, do you have any questions for minus here? Do you use beard oil? I don't use it. I don't use beard oil. Mike uses beard oil. Does he? Oh, yeah, Mike's beard's real nice and thick.

Yeah. My beard's actually kind of sparse and gross. I'm just going to grow a beard again, but it's going to be like a wolfman beard. That would be awesome. Oh, like you won't contain it? No. Like just whatever happens happens? Like a chia pet?

Yeah, it won't be manicured. It'll just be this wolf. Yeah, this wild. It's plain it by ear. Scary beard. That would be great. That would be pretty good. That's in vogue now.

I think you'd get away with it. Oh, yeah. It's the whole, like, hipster, neck beard. I'm going to change the line up. I'm not doing it now. Shouldn't have said anything. What? I don't want to be one of those guys.

I don't want to be bearded hipster. It's too late. You got to drink your kale smoothie and get that beer at all. You got to make sure that every cocktail you ever drink has bidders. That you wear a vest and a bow tie. Yeah, skinny jeans. Get a little velvet handkerchief to put over in your pocket sleeve. ride a bicycle around one big wheel

and one small wheel Oh, oh what? Penny Farthing. Or you're juggling those bowling pins that aren't bowling pins. Don't talk shit about Penny Farthing. What are your goals? What are your goals as an artist?

You've been on the internet for a long time. You've worked for a lot of people. I don't really know much about like original serieses that you've hit up. I mean, there's been a few shorts here and there. Are we serious? You want the real answers?

Yeah, what the fuck are you doing, man? Not the dickhead answers? What are you? What are you doing? The snarky fake answers. You can go snarky first, but I am curious. Yeah, no, I just been working on my style, I guess. Like, every time I start to commit to drawing stuff,

I get a little bit better by the end of it, and then I don't like what happened at the beginning. Yeah. And then I just want to, I want to finally just get something I'm comfortable with sticking to. Maybe it's kind of weird that I spent so much time doing work and not worrying about that, but it just all caught up with me at some point

where I just got real concerned about, like, making sure things... Maybe my standards for myself got more stringent and not in a productive way either necessarily. You know? Like, I'm just concerned

about things that no one notices. Yeah, it's weird because... And you always are, but I mean, I just maybe more than what is helpful. I've noticed that about your style and it is interesting that you pointed out,

but, you know, then you think about things like Garfield, right? Yeah. It's like, that motherfucker, that guy was like on model for, you know, three decades and then it was done. You know, there was clearly

in the beginning phase. Yeah, he had some, He had some changes, yeah, but once he hit his stride, it was stuck to it. Maybe I feel like that's where I'm at. I want to get to the peak Garfield of my style arc. The thing is like... Garfield, Final form.

This was how much effort this guy puts into his work. Like, he was shown me earlier, just a character's arm bending where somebody would just would have animated like a lower arm and an upper arm and just tweened it or something. Yeah. He had like...

It wasn't even like frame by frame. It was like tweened, but... Yes. Every line was... Yeah, every line was tweened, like shape tween. Oh. But it looked perfect. Oh, that's the thing that Harry showed.

on Twitter that was like, it was similar to that. Look at this cool experiment that you should never actually do because it takes for fucking ever. Yeah, I don't think it was particularly productive, but I just wanted to see if it was possible. I guess I'm also in that phase where I'm seeing what's possible. Yeah. Like not necessarily finishing stuff, you know, like, I'm trying to finish things, but in

the meantime, I'm like, I wonder if I just did this if it would work. And then it kind of does, but it also kind of looks like it's useless and it doesn't fit in any way. And a week went by. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And so I can kind of put a little fucking clip of it on Instagram and just move on. But that doesn't count anymore.

You got to get your YouTube. I think we were talking about some possibly exciting ideas. Oh? I don't know. Yeah, you can say. You can say. Well, we were like, you know, we were saying now maybe he should get into some Game Mark or something.

Oh, yeah. I've been thinking about that for a long time. You have a great style for game art things, especially like those cutscenes and like RPGs and shit like that. You know what I mean? And portraits, but I like, you know, like in the RPGs when they have the portrait with the text. Yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, I like that country.

That's what I meant by cut, sorry, the dialogue scenes, you know, like those type of things. I really like character design and character rigging in terms of sprites. And that's, I guess it ends up with, like, a lot of the shots I do in my cartoons are kind of flat and static, almost in like a comic strip kind of way. Yeah. We have two people talking. Yeah. And that works sometimes, but a lot of, sometimes it gets a bit tired. I'm in a, something I'm working on right now, I'm having trouble fitting the more dynamic shots in with the fact that the main name.

block of dialogue is in that format. I've noticed if it's like 99% or like 90% even if it's like 80% like a very 2D flat kind of setup. If you try to throw a dynamic shot in there, all of a sudden it's like it just feels like it doesn't... Weird like some other thing that doesn't belong. Yeah. Yeah, you have to really

so I'm trying to move towards more dynamic stuff which I'm not comfortable with and that's what I'm trying to do more of it. But at the basis of all that for me yeah, like I approach things more in terms of what you would think of as like kind of sprite animation. Like the side facing stuff and a lot of movements

and like the idea of designing a character that can do a bunch of stuff all from one perspective as though you're going to use it a whole bunch of times. Yeah. Which is exactly how game stuff works. So I totally, I would love to find some way to start doing more, like maybe start on some game stuff in a way that wouldn't suck up

my whole year before I got a chance to, you know? Oh no. Dabble a little bit. You wouldn't want to spend a whole year on a game, dude. I just mean, let's be honest. The whole year on a game is kind of overkill. Whoa, a year. I mean. That's why you know what I mean. It's been a year on a game. Come on.

I'm just saying, I'd like to do a tiny thing to see if I even like it first before I committed that much. I think. That's the only positive thing I'm saying today. Yeah, that was. It's so funny because it was the most positive thing you said, but you sounded the most miserable when you said it. I see this way too often, but like him and Stamper,

like their polish is like... Yeah. I take a lot of my cues from Stamper actually. And Jeff too, when I was first starting, trying to figure out how to do animation. It was mostly like, I mean, a lot of Jeff's earlier. stuff for New Grounds. That's how I started to. And a lot of Stamper's earlier stuff. Not Stamper's

earlier, earlier stuff, but like earlier than now, I mean, like, you know, like that Rebecca thing that Stamper made a long time ago, like my friends were passing that around. I saw that. I didn't even put it together that it was him until more recently. Like, I didn't even realize. So yeah, that kind of, that kind of stuff. But in terms of

your long-term goals, you don't know. I don't know. No, I don't know. I like... So you're just like all of us. We're all just fucking... Yeah. No, I mean, it's, I think, like, this is going to sound really pretentious. too, maybe. But I think that like if I did know, then that would get a little bit less exciting for most. You know? Yeah. Like if I knew exactly what it was I was trying to do and I was only going to do that. And if it didn't work out, I'd just go sell cars or some shit. I feel like that would

make things a little more boring. I feel like in some of the conversations is becoming clear. It's less about like, oh, I know the exact job title I want now. Yeah. It's more about like, I don't know what it is exactly all of the things that I do culminate to. But I know I want to make a game. I want to make a movie. I want to you know, write, or be a part of like a book, like a children's book or I feel like people have projects in mind.

Yeah, print stuff is cool too. Yeah. I mean, don't you feel like most people you talk to in this kind of area stuff kind of all say similar have a similar story. Yeah. Right? Like everyone's doing whatever they're doing at the time but they're not like totally glued to it necessarily. Maybe when they finish it

they'll do something else. But as far as like as far as like a long term game plan, that's hard, man. You start thinking, if you think about it too hard, you start to really freak yourself out. Of course you will. You've got so many years to do any of these things, you know. And maybe that's what's taking me so long too long. Do you ever, do you run into

people that you tell them what you do? And they're like, do they sort of have this air of condescension, like you don't have a real job or something? Do you ever get that? I think I'm super prepared to get that when I tell them. And so I am always trying to watch what I say when I don't want to say something that sounds

too silly. Like, some, like, ironic self-deprecating joke. I make fart jokes on the internet. Yeah, I just feel of fucking stupid dumb things, but I also don't want to like... Which is, I think, one of my taglines on Twitter or something. Yeah. It's like my description. But I also don't want to oversell either.

Right. Yeah. I have never, I've never settled on a title. I've only in the past couple years even accepted that, like, if someone says, like, are you an artist? I can say, yeah. I still feel weird. I still feel weird. It's a weird thing.

It's a weird. It's really loaded. It's really loaded. It's really loaded. I still don't subscribe to that, so. Oh, fuck off. I'm a designer. Sure. I mean, I went to art school, so maybe that's part of where my animosity towards the term comes from.

There's so many people who are like prepared to be, who really want to be artists first and foremost and then decide what that means after. And they rally behind that flag pretty hard. I feel weird calling myself an animator when there's people like, like Paul or Sandra, you know. Yeah, Harry. Yeah, like, no, that's stuff. Yeah. Corey. You can't put me in that group.

Why not? I mean, I feel like until this fucking game. is out I feel like I can't even I like I need what I'm I need what I'm working on to be out and out there before I can even claim yeah but once people see the animations that are that you have been working on then there is no yeah I just feel weird saying I'm proud of something nobody's ever fucking seen yeah well you should be it's fucking awesome let's get in there I don't know I think for that particular thing you know maybe not to talk too much about it if you're

trying not to hype yeah like I feel like there's enough done in it I mean that I saw that you showed me that like even if like let's say something happens and it doesn't get done, you still have like a shitload of stuff. Yeah, no, there's so much stuff. Yeah. Art, I mean, assets, loops, fucking everything. You could make such a killer trailer with just what's already there right now.

If you were to like do like one of those like really fast, like this shot, that shot, this shot, this shot, you know what I mean? Like you could put together something that people would be like, what the fuck is this? I want this now. Yeah. I would like a nice trailer in a few months, hopefully. Yeah. I think it might even be motivating for you guys to have that around. Yeah, and you see it, and then you get people's reactions,

and you kind of get other people's energy. That's super helpful. I've been posting more, I never wanted to post progress stuff because all my things are so short, and they usually rely on some twist or trick to make it worthwhile. So I never wanted to show too much to give that away, and that's usually why I have a hard time wanting to stream or anything, because I don't want to do something that the people watching.

It's hard to pick those moments, but I've been, lately I've been doing, I've been posting like a lot of more progress stuff, like, oh, my Tumblr is a good place because it's like an archive and Twitter sometimes too, but I like to put it on Tumblr because you can always go look, it's easy to find stuff. People kind of seem to like that,

and then it's just like, maybe just not even a big response from people necessarily, but just like a little bit of nod that you need to be like, all right, yeah, okay, cool, I'll keep. And I think anything to get you out of the vacuum of what you're doing? Yeah, yeah, you just need to like,

it's weird, especially now that everything we're doing is on, you know, virtual, like, it's not a physical work, it's on computers, and it would be analogous to, like, showing a person, a piece of paper, something you drew on, and then be like, yeah, nice. You know, and that's just all it is. Yeah.

I heard a real crazy story this one time is, there was this guy who was, I want to say serial killer, but he only killed one person, so it wasn't actually serial. But it was, like, heinous, right? Like, it was, like, a grotesque, a grotesque single murder

that was, like, serial killer-esque in the caliber of how horrifying it was. Does it work that way? It just in my stupid idiot brain. It was like serial killer is the title for a guy who's fucked up. Okay. No, so it was some dude who had befriended a guy who was like a naval officer or an American seaman. Yes.

During, who was stationed somewhere in and around Asia during the famine in China, the Mao, all that Mao shit. And so like he got stranded in China, like his boat left or something. And there was like cannibalism going on. So this dude, the naval dude, eventually got back to the States and, you know, he kind of had a life after that. And he met this other guy, the killer guy in question. I'm not telling this very well. But anyway, it's more confusing than it needs to be. So this dude gets stranded in China, ends up eating some people because that's what's going on.

Then you have to. Right. He comes back to the States. Someone makes friends with him and he's telling him like, yeah, you know, it was fucked up. But honestly, it wasn't bad. And so this dude that he tells about that kind of gets it in his head like, oh, maybe now I want to try it. Right.

And he starts thinking about it more and more. And he gets this, he's kind of an old guy. And at some point, he, like, befriends this family and, like, eats their daughter. Like, he gets in good with them. And he kind of is, like, an old. Like, they think he's a friendly old man. And he kind of looks after their, like, young kids. Wait, is this the, is this like the guy who looked like Larry David a little bit?

I think I saw. Yeah, that could be. Yeah. Is this the guy who, like, came over and he was, like, looking for people to help him on the, like, his farmhouse or something. And originally he wanted. Oh, no, no. That guy was a serial killer. Never mind.

You know, the guy I'm thinking about was a serial killer. And he, essentially, he went to this house because he saw a kid going in there and he wanted this young boy to, like, come up to his house. And he was going to kill him. That was the deal. Right. And he looked like this very frail old man. But anyways, he goes to the house.

They knock on the door and this little girl comes to the door. And immediately he changes his mind. He's like, holy shit, fuck that kid. I want this girl. She's like, she's like seven. This is what I want. So then he, like, somehow convinces the mom. to let her hang out with him.

Like he's got a granddaughter with a birthday or something. And so she's like very reluctant, but you know, he looks harmless. He looks innocent. So she, you know, like all good mothers, just lets this stranger take her child. Oh, boy. As you do. Yeah. And then the thing is, is he wrote a letter outlining everything that happened.

But essentially he was up in the attic of this farmhouse that he had brought this dog. or two. And he wrote about how he could see her in the front yard picking flowers, gathering flowers, as he stripped down naked. He then called to her from the window to come into the house. These may not be all the details, but it's pretty close. And then he hid up in the attic for her to come find him, at which point when she came up, he presented himself nude to this, you know, pre-pubescent child and then proceeded to kill her. I don't remember if he, like, stabbed her. I think maybe he did or strangled her. And then on top of that, he freaking ate her. We're probably talking about the same guy. It could be. And the thing was, he took, like,

he didn't just eat her all in one go. He, like, cooked parts of her in time. Right. Yeah. No, this is the same thing. And then he like put him like in a basket and would like take it with him into town and like he'd be in a bus stop or something and just like and just have a little nibble of like her arm or something like that. But he wrote this letter. Right. That's the part now when you say that that rings a bell. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like anybody said like I never sexually assaulted her. Right. Yeah. Don't worry. Yeah. I never touched her like that. But I had every intention. And he didn't even explain like I had every intention to meeting your son or whatever. But instead I ate your daughter. but yeah just like you know that's the same best like maybe no that might have been the same fuzzy on the details but that was the same guy yeah he got that idea

because he met someone that part I didn't that he didn't go that far in his letter that's what put it in his head yeah you know it's see when you hear a letter like that you're surprised he didn't add details like that yeah you know like hey this wasn't really my idea I just happened to have a friend

it was like so nonchalant and like yeah it was very matter of fact yeah matter of fact like like as though like hey don't worry there was no rapy stuff Yeah. Like, oh, thank, okay. I was just eating part of her head on the subway today. Yeah.

It does make you wonder. Just the people that you're around. Uh-huh. You know? Yeah. Someone you pass by on the street. Someone you sit down next to. I think of that sometimes.

On a bus or a restaurant. The guy in the booth right behind you. Was he capable of? Was he capable of? Did he have they? Like, yeah, like sometimes you like, you try to go into like a 7-Eleven and then the door kind of closes abruptly behind you and like kind of blocks off the person

and you're oh shit, sorry, you kind of keep, help them make sure they get in without the door closing rudely or something like that. And then you feel like, oh, I was, I should have been paying attention.

But maybe that person just came back from like skinning two people in his meat layer. Absolutely. You know? Absolutely. Fuck that guy. Somebody drops a little coin purse,

you know, and you're like, oh, excuse me, ma'am. And you pick it up. And they're like, thank you. They walk away and it happens to have like

the fingers of some guy that she just fucking murdered, you know? Something you want to tell us, Mick. Is there any of the secret? This is why I'm on the third floor. You're trying to get something out here.

There is an attic above this room. I don't know. I can understand. Have you seen it yet? No, not yet. You haven't seen it. I think you should check it out. It's a good kill room.

Well, we call it, one of them is the hostage room. Oh. Yeah, because it is clearly a hostage room. And then the other one is more of like, gather a bunch of, like, kids from overseas, like human trafficking and just kind of like pile them together in the attic room, that's the other one.

Is that what I think about how many people must be in that situation right now? You know like when they find somebody who's been in like in the basement for 10 years? I feel like there's been a rationality. They're like, hooray, they're free but there's probably like so many people right now that are locked in a basement.

Oh yeah, we never be found. I mean, yeah, we find the miracle cases where people like somehow clawed their way they like shoot off their own arm, clog through a basement and there happened to be like people on the street, you know what I mean? But like, those are the, those are the lottery winners.

Yeah, yeah. You assume that the outlier are the ones who are even able to be kept in for that long, but maybe the outliers are the ones that escape. Yeah. Just per capita, the amount of those situations is probably low. But per capita, you're in a high enough population, you know, 350 million people in the United States, if like, what percent is it got to be? Maybe there's like a thousand, you know?

And of those, I mean, you break it. down by the stats, you've got the people who escaped, obviously, the smallest you know, a group. And then you've got two groups left. You've got people who are still being held captive and people who died in captivity.

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, there's... Did you hear about that guy that had a fucking unnatural, creepy, weird crush, this older dude who had this crush on like this young late teens, kind of maybe 20 year old woman, and he was like old enough to be like her father or grandfather, kind of like he was an old man and he like... But I mean, to be fair,

It sounds like a lot of middle-aged men's things. Yeah, no, that part wasn't that strange. But it was strange, he was, like, very obsessive about it. And then, like, she died for some reason. Unrelated to his fixation, I think. And then, like, he somehow, like, embalmed her body and, like, kept replacing, as it slowly dilapidated, he was, like, replacing it with, like, sawdust and, like, crumpled up newspaper and stuff. When they eventually got it, it was, like, they eventually discovered that he still had this fucking body

that he was supposed to have buried or cremated because I think that was part of his job. Yeah. It was, like, this. paper mashay face looking situation and they were like it was all written the article I read talked about it like oh he was he was just so in love that he wanted to preserve

her beauty and then the article ends with like oh yeah and they fed a whole bunch of semen like no no no don't make no mistake this is almost identical except for the seamen and in the relationship as a video that Zach put it on for us downstairs the other day which kind of gave me like subtle

nightmares yeah DJ what's his name DJ deaf man I have not seen this video in a long time and I don't want to see it. It's like DJ Deaf Man or something and it was this guy, I guess he's deaf and he's a DJ. I don't know how that works, but essentially his mom died or his grandma died. We're thinking of the same video, the casket's backyard. Yeah, yeah. So he like films the casket of his grandma in his backyard.

His mom or his grandma, I can't remember. And he basically, at first you just see the casket. You're like, oh, okay, that's kind of creepy. He's like, yeah, we haven't been able to find a place to bury it. Even though he doesn't say it. He's like, oh, you, Michael, Bill and they have, like, subtitle. Like, he has subtitles underneath. So, so people understand.

But then what ends up happening is, is he opens it, and she's there. And he, like, takes these very long, cross-fading video, like, shaky hand-cam video footage of it. And it's got this creepy music. Or maybe he didn't have any. music. The thing that was really creepy is it did like a starburst swipe every single time there was a caption. Did he kiss? Okay, okay.

Yes, he kisses her. But the way the camera has it and the way he kisses her, it's like a vampire dropped a bag of blood on a floor and they needed to lick it up. He violently like, his head

is craned it in and it's like spastically kind of like and it was so out of place considering how chill and calm he was to me I was like oh he's gonna give her a polite peck and it's still gonna be creepy because it's a decomposing head but the way

and then he like wiped it off too yeah yeah we don't want to do it's like one of the little detail the fact that this video was like on YouTube for two years had like 65 views yeah somehow Zach found it and I'm like this has to be real it's too weird yeah and then he explained

explained? Like sometimes when it rains, he has a tarp that he puts it over. Not a bad plan. And then it's like, thanks, DJ. And then like his his logo swipes over. And he even had like the credits. Like, you know, the grandma is herself and him is the guy who's just like, it's gonna be illegal somehow. Like yeah, it's

gotta be illegal to fuck with a dead body on video. Like it's illegal, like, they won't let you show like someone taking a shit on YouTube. Like how is this less offensive? Yeah. But it definitely had that paper machet face thing. Yeah, yeah. That, uh. Listen, this got pretty fucking dark fellas. I know.

I didn't think I'll be get this Listen while We're here While we're in this mode I really feel like I should show you the attic Yeah okay We obviously we have to end the podcast

Yeah Yeah But I want to take you up to the attic Okay.