SleepyCabin - SleepyCast S2:E4 - [Pavlov's Dick Bone]

Episode Date: December 5, 2015

Niall discovers the anatomy of a hard-on. Zach graduates from football class. Mick rejects the temptation of dog ass. And somewhere, there's a documentary about a man breaking his dick fucking a pool. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Your hosts for the evening: Psychicpebbles (https://www.youtube.com/user/psychicpebbles) Ricepirate (www.youtube.com/ricepiratenewgrounds) Niall (https://www.youtube.com/user/CryBurgers) Podcast editing by: Jakub Z — Main edit (https://www.youtube.com/Jakeuro) Niall — Initial edit Ricepirate — Final pass +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Shane Danells . Ryan Pagonis . Creeps McPasta Jace Baker . Denis DeLong . Trevor Wood Liam Staley . skooks . Sonny Canchola Susparty . Paul Raymond . Lucas Boucher ubernoobinator . Matt Gronhovd . Travis Wager Schegerino . Rodolfo Davis Millet . Windmill Punches Andrew Dore . Elecktricd00m . Bill Zhuang Dani Rucker . Dazzanator . Andrew Suchwallo Sindre Norheim . David Fanucchi . Conner St. John Phillip Tafoya . Wrinklywiener Kenneth . Hudson Heitmeier Sam Child . Yuval Birenzweig . Prosecutor Jeff Thomas King . Chaney Rockwell . Jacob Arends Andreas Tautra Sylte . Steven LeBlanc +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

There is a world as tangible as our own. Impossible to see yet. Unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Very deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin. It's a bunch of guys.

He's a bunch, bullshitter. Welcome to Cartoon Boys. Podcast with your hosts. With the crazy cartoon boys. For the crazy cartoon boys, and we're here to talk about our favorite cartoons. Welcome to Sleepy Cast. I'm Niall. I'm Zach.

And I'm Rice. I'm Mick. Rice and Mike. You know, so this is a more relaxed one. There's not 12 of us here shouting. No. So it's a pretty relaxed one. Just shooting the shit.

I want all you people out there to, you know, unbutton your, unbutton your shirt's like your big fucking gross tits pop out. Dude, come on. Come on. Get a hold of yourself. Do you ever have to, do you know, like, when I get to a certain fatness, when I walk down the stairs, I feel like my chest. Jiggle. Absolutely. Do you have... When you walk down the stairs, do you ever try to flet? Like, if I can feel the jiggle, sometimes they'll try to flex. Yeah, me too. But really, all it does is flex the muscle underneath and then all, yeah, exactly, the jiggle still is there. I caught myself like, you know, like a woman like running, like, you know, like a woman like running like, like, I hold your breasts. But I was an accident. It was just an impulse because I was like, I hate the feeling. That would honestly be like, like, like, walking around the fucking zoo, like a tiger dead. I, I felt pathetic. It was like, because it was natural. I feel like bullying you right now, honestly.

just because you told me that. I know. I went down and fight points. I respect you last. I kind of want to punch you at the side of the head. I kind of want to grab your tithies, though. I want to grab your tithes, though. I might get a big handful.

I might get a sports bra. I don't know. But what we were saying was, grab a cup of coffee and relax. Grab a beer. Grab your tities. Grab your tithies, you big. Undo your rough. So what do you guys want to talk about tonight on this special edition of Sleepy cast?

Talk about different methods of, like, how you unwind. What's your unwinding? Unwind. That's a good thing. Actually, you know what? Yeah, actually, I'm curious. You know what you said was really good the other day? What's that?

When you said you keep your shoes on all day? Yeah, this is the new thing I did. I tried that, and that was fucking great. So if you, this sounds very pathetic also, but if you animate all day, you know, if you walk into a traditional job or you're unloading stuff or, you know, lifting stuff, whatever, you go home. Even if you go to college or school or something, you get home, what's the first thing you, take your shoes off. Right. But if you animate your shoes off, take a load off.

Take a load off. Take a load off. Let your dogs bark. Come everywhere. Let those dogs out. Let the dogs out. But no, but since we're pathetic, obese fucking running from the inside losers, we sit around all day, we draw. And so I do everything short of actually fucking putting on a suit.

So I put my shoes on, I wear a belt, I tuck my undershoot in. I feel like I'm going to work. It's like you're playing adult. Exactly, like I'm a child playing adult. You're watching cartoons. And I work out stuff too, so I'll get exercise. I'm literally sitting down all days. So then the whole thing is you draw, you get an idea, do your or deal if you're doing art.

But you leave your shoes all day. So at the end of the day, you have the satisfaction of taking you. your belt off, kicking your shoes off. And you feel like you're... Yeah, but you're... Just for... Just to really get... Just for that two seconds. Just to get into the roll, do you come downstairs, make yourself like a pickle and cheese sandwich, put it in a briefcase.

Put in a briefcase and then walk into your room. I have a routine. I stand by the water cooler and talk to my coworkers. Tell hilarious jokes about ISIS. But they don't even exist. They're just there at the fucking fridge talking to himself. I do like the image of Zach getting dressed for work and then stepping outside of his room and then turning around.

doing a 180 and just walking right back in. Ah, Mondays. Yeah, but I, uh, but no, I have a routine. I wake up and make coffee. But relaxing, though. Yeah, unwinding. Relaxing, unwinding. You know, I'm not a big, I don't smoke cigarettes.

I don't, uh, I partake in the occasional cigar. It's a nice little activity. You know what? A lot of people, I feel like cigars have a good and bad stigma to them, I think. I've never smoked a cigar in a scenario that did not turn into a debacle. Every single time a cigar ends up getting pulled out, it's either like Pico Day or when I was a funeral or something. Or something, it's like, I always get way too drunk.

I always do stupid shit. I black out. And the only thing I can taste is the cigar in my mouth. And then the fuck, all my clothes smell like a cigar. I think, look, and I'm also fully aware of just. That's all my fault. No, no, that's the thing is. I think fully just clear.

I know, I think, I feel like cigars have a stigma of being pretentious or like, oh, you're a fucking 60-year-old CEO. But no, I think. You hate Spider-Man? Yeah, yeah. You're running a newspaper? I feel like people, it has, it has a bad stigma. But honestly, to me, it's like a glass.

of wine, right? It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, people, it's like giving a glass of wine when they fucking slam it and go, oh, it tastes like shit. It's like, no, you don't drink a glass of wine to get drunk, you do it to relax and wine to get a little buzz, maybe. Like, cigars are the same thing. When Sabrina was on, to hear to do the podcast at one time, I give everybody cigars and people were like inhaling it and just, like a cigarette, and they got cigarette, like, oh, cigars suck. Yeah, no, no, no, you're not supposed to, they're not supposed to, you're supposed to, milk it and enjoy it. It's in the mouth, it's not, it's not in the lungs, you're not supposed to inhale it. Yeah. In fact,

If you have like some cognac or something, there's a lot in brandies, you're supposed to not only just, you know, get some of that smoke in your mouth. You're supposed to breathe it over the alcohol. Let it kind of like sink in a little bit. It's almost like a ritual. You know, it's, it's, it's, you know, cigarettes. If you smoke, that's fine. But they're like, what, a four or five minutes smoke? Ten minutes smoke tops? For people who really smoke, it's like two minutes, maybe. So, so what, two to ten minutes? Two to five? I say for me, like it would have been a four when I smell. Two to five. Okay, so about two to five, right? Cigars you can go from 30 minutes to an hour and a half. And that's the beauty. It's literally to just white, unwind, you know, if you're

The good thing about them is the more you smoke them, the better they taste, you know? The more you smoke the one cigar, like as it goes down, starts getting better. So you're... Yes, you guys have different flavors you go to it. It's like a symphony. It's like as it goes on. It's like one of those Willy Wonka gums. Yeah, it has different flavors.

But then it starts off with the appetizer with some little orange slices and then eventually gets to the turkey dinner. We're trying to avoid sounding pretenters, and I said it's like a symphony. No, no, no, look, yeah, full this clip, but we're really so far to the fact that that cigars have to stick with being pretentious. But if you've, if you haven't had, what I seriously suggest, finding somebody that knows about cigars and having one

because it's very relaxing. Honestly, it's like, you know, it doesn't even if you have to smoke a cigar every or smoke it every once a week or something. Again, it's not a cigarette. But it's one of the few things that genuinely just, no matter how stressed out I am, or whatever's going on,

it just melts my brain. Yeah. If you have an amazing cigar, it's, it's honestly like a high in a sense. Just because the adorpeer release you get, it's just a huge. Well, there's tobacco. There's literal chemicals in there.

There's literal chemicals, but my point is if the taste is so good and it's so relaxing. Yeah. Just the enjoyment from it. It's like a good piece of food, I'd say. Like, you've ever had a good piece of food, you like a steak or something. You go, ugh, like you make a noise.

Hopefully like that noise, but you make a noise, you know, and that's the same kind of thing. So that's, in short, that's the way I relax if I really want to unwind. Yeah. What about you fellas? You two, you two bozos. I tried to taking off the shoes thing, but the thing about that was, the thing about when you told me that, but the thing about that was, I was like laying in bed all day, surfing the net, as they say. You fucking laid in your bed with your shoes on.

I took them off and then I took them off. And then your room stank. I didn't really do it. Yeah, pretty much. It was just my, my... Well, try exercising in your shoes. Try walking around outside of your shoes. And then you're like sitting around.

Like, I don't be literally sitting around the day, right? No, I was literally sitting around all that day. Well, that's probably why it didn't work. You just had your shoes on. Yeah, I just had my shoes on. That was what I did that day. What do you normally do to relax in general, though? Let's say you have a long day of actual work.

You're stressed out, you go, it's now time. I like, what's not all time? I just draw. I just relax all day and not off. Fucky, you've been dry all day. You can't do that anymore. You've done 20 commissions. So what I'll do after that is just go for a walk?

I'll ask you like this. What do you do to clear your head? How do you, how do you empty out your emotions? How do you turn the faucet on? Just let Nile leak. I think my default, I'm relaxed, and then I get stressed and then just back to relax again. But what do you, what activity? No, there's no right answer.

I feel like you feel like there's pressure here. There's no pressure. It's right answer. You don't have to say you spit around three times. Just relax. No, relax. There's no wrong answer. Are you stressed out, Niles?

Go on, man. Dude, we're just asking a question here. This is why you're the biggest joke in fucking school. This is why the jocks talk. This is why the girls, you wonder why the girl is fucking laughing behind your back. You see the girls laughing? They're laughing at you, buddy. They're laughing at you, dude.

They're laughing at you, dude. Not with you. For a second, you probably thought, wow, they're probably laughing at some funny joke. Yeah, the joke is you, my friend. You know something else? The jocks talk about beating your ass, but I've saved your ass. You're lucky. I'm your good cousin in school. Yeah, so anything to get away.

And you're lucky I fuck the hot tree leaders. Anything? Yeah, I did come inside of Sally. So what? Anything to get away from this is what I really relax. Usually. Those long walks. Lock my door going long walks.

It's to get away from fucking Zach. Fucking pestering me. Come on, keep sharing, though, when you wonder when the jocks to a football's with the back you head to the gym class? Dude, when you tried to climb that rope

and you fell up for one foot and everyone pointed a lap to you. And then when the coach came in and they were all laughing, everyone was laughing at you. Come on you. And he just started, he got angry at you.

He said, yeah, he said, you were disrupting everybody and he made you go do laps. You remember the coach looked you shut up and you made all the jocks and he made all the jocks We slapped your teeth.

They were laughing at you. This doesn't even apply to me. I didn't even go to high school in America. I can't even relate to any of this fucking... Jocks pissed on you and called you a urinal and put a urinal cake in your mouth. Did they not have jock? Was there not like a jock abuse in Ireland? It sounds like a weird sort of gay porn website.

Jock abuse? That's got to be a sub... I would type of jock abuse porn. Something's going to happen. Something's got to happen. It was like, hey, bro, and they'd have backwards caps on it. And they'd like, you're wearing a jock strap and they just like punch you in the jock strap really hard. And the guys would like that.

There's actual cords where girls just take guys. Cox and started punching them. I've seen that. Oh, they step on them with the balls with high heels. Yeah. I never hear of milking. I found this out yesterday. Milking is when a guy is all tied up and a girl is like, like he's a cow and he pretends he's a cow and he pretends he's like, uh, he's just there. He's like some pathetic. So it's like a hanging hand job? Kind of like I think so. I didn't watch it, but I just heard about it. I feel like if you wanted to be a cow, you'd just put on the cow outfit. Yeah. You just have a lot of time. If you got like three or four guys in one cow outfit, I don't know how you'd arrange it, but you could stick four dicks out of that one of that utter. back and then she could just tug on all four of them. That's true. Or you could have two guys with diphilia. What's that?

Is it diphelia? Diphaliac? Diophiliac? The man with two dicks. Yeah. Does he, does one dig get hard for him? No, the man, the famous man with two decks. He got two big hard dicks.

No, but I think I read somewhere that he can't get too hard. It's hard for him to get two actual big hard on. Well, he has to stroke them both at the same time it gets tiring. No, but I mean like just blood flow wise, right? Yeah. Because you like, all directions. All directions. All directions like judged by.

Is it muscles or is it? Um, yeah, it's all muscles. I've only that the cock is like the penis is not a muscle, but the muscles attached to the, to the fatty tissue. Is that what, is that what determines how hard the dick gets or is the blood flow? It is a blood. I believe it's a blood flow thing and that's like the circulation, right? Right. It gets your heart pumping.

Right, right. Which is what's so dangerous if you have an erection for longer than, you know, eight hours. I got fucking bullied because when I was in like the Irish equivalent of just say middle school, I said there's a bone in your day because I thought that that's why it's called boner. And, uh, everyone gave me relentless shit for that. And I'm sure that 99% of those people didn't even know it wasn't a bugger. Everyone thought that when they were eight. When you were 14? Well, yeah, when I was 14.

Dude, you're in high school. That's high school. You're driving. You could drive the vehicle. Now, this is the reason why all the guys were fucking throwing... Hold on, hold on, 15 years. When I was... Let's put this in perspective.

That is all... That's three years away from going. Also, hold on. Wait, hold on. No, let's really break this down. You were three years away from being able to pick up a gun in Serger country, and you thought there was a huge bone within your dick. It's called a boner.

Why do they call it that that? able to drive. You could drive. I watched a documentary, right, where this guy was fucking a swimming pool and he broke his... A documentary? Yeah, and he broke his dick. So I thought that the fact that you can fracture your dick means there's a bone in your dick. But every time you saw a skeleton of the human anatomy

were you always confused why there wasn't just a bone sticking out of the dick part? I didn't think that far ahead. But when I was eight, I thought that just your dick was called your balls. So I was telling everyone I had one ball and people... That was just a misconception for a few years. I remember

I got to do an argument with my friend over, we were arguing with a huge fallout. We didn't talk for like two weeks because he told me that cat's tails were not part of their skeleton. I said they were as part of the spine. We yelled each other and we didn't talk for like two weeks. My friend said. Do you skin a cat and show them your friend? I told me, I said, hey teacher.

Tell this fucking bones, and the cat's got bones in their tails and she was like it's true. And he got mad and he stormed off. It's a real story. Dude, maybe it was like in a weird religion where they don't believe that. You're just offended him. How many bones do they have in their tail? I love it's part of their splice. Yeah, they like vertebraes and shit. Is that way if you, if you, if you break a cat's tail

with a fucking hammer it'll look like Pikachu's tail like all jagged and zigzaggy lightning bolt that's why smash cats brains with hammers really exposed all the inside they got bones in their head too they got bones everywhere What fuck is the room for the brain? Do you know what I realized because of Django I cats like literally all they do is respond to stimulation

There's no like any sort of It's just stimulation It's like a jellyfish Touch sound like no taste If you get a loud noise they just run like there's They're completely I've realized this too There's no forethought to this Yeah no there's there's there's I

If you look at an cat, you really get a sense of it. Like, he's walk, he's not, when he walks upstairs, he's not going upstairs. His muscles are walking in a direction, and he's just not hitting walls. Yeah. Until he sees something that catches his attention. Yeah, exactly. He'll walk and walk and walk until he's like, oh, I'll sit there or I'll smack this. And that's all it is.

Because dogs, like, have another level of, like, people are, like, cats are smart. No, they're not. Like, dogs have, like, some sort of self-awareness. That is the one thing that weirded me out about sushi and the food bowl. See, the food bowl was timed. Every day, the same two times a day or whatever it was, That food bowl was automatic and would let out the food. Sushi, you could hear that shit from a mile away.

She could, and she'd know. But it was almost like she never understood when it was going to happen. Like dogs, there's a famous story. Hiaj or whatever, was it? Papalov's dog. Yeah. Well, there's Pavlov. Right.

So about repetition and whatnot. And that's essentially what this one was about where there was a dog in this Japanese station. It's actually a station named after it. But essentially there was an owner of a dog and he would go to the station every day with his dog. And his dog would turn around and go home. And then he eventually died. But then the dog every day would go. to the train station and wait until all the trains left and then it would turn around and go home

and it did it until it died was the fucking travel based on that dog i think it was the first dog oh yeah yeah yeah i think it was based on that story yeah yeah and it's a very lovely story and it's true and it's not the first time it's happened but clearly this dog understands patterns you know like oh every day at this time this is going to happen and then they do it whether or not that makes them smart who knows that that's obviously just the ability to recall and and you know patterns and whatnot but with sushi it's beautiful and wonderful as she i mean clearly she recognized people. So that is some kind of intelligence. Fucking crows can recognize people though.

Crows can do that. Can they do that? You not have heard about this? No. They did this, I saw this thing where these, I think it was a college campus where they did a test where they put like a Richard Nixon mask or something on, and they harassed what your crows. And then when people would wear that mask, the crows would go fucking nuts. Different people would wear this mask. Really?

Crows are actually very intelligent from what I understand. They are, they are very, very intelligent. They like pick up fucking turtles and drop them into cars, or drop them on the road so they break, so they can eat them. That's what I heard. No. true. Is it real? Yes, it is. They walk turtles on the cars? Yeah. No. They dropped the turtles on the road so they get run over so they can eat it right? Yeah. Okay, interesting. Well, before they were dropping things on rocks, I think. Or dropping rocks on things. I can't remember.

Oh, wait, maybe that's what it was. Yeah. I like, yeah. I like, yeah. I like, yeah. I like, yeah. I like, yeah. I like, yeah. I like use a rock in a car. Very similar things, those two things. Yeah. I don't know where the turtle even came from. But there's also, I've, there's YouTube videos of like birds doing like basic arithmetic of like, oh yeah, yeah, I've seen owls doing that. Well, they saw problems on. Now, I don't know if that's actually their brain understanding. what that is or if they just recognize what the one is, you know what I mean? If that makes sense? I don't know if they're aware. No, there's videos of like crows solving like simple problems like in labs. But I guess it's kind of a human, human understanding that is right? But my point is I don't know if they understand the actual. Right.

They use tools. Like there was like a stick to get their worm out or something. So my point is this. So if it's one plus one equals two, they'll know after they did enough times they'll be rewarded. Right. So my point is this shape plus this shape equals this shape. You know what I mean?

So maybe it's more of a pattern recognition rather than the understanding of the actual. Arithmetic, right. So they could do one plus one plus two. I don't have to understand values. Right, you give them two plus one and all of a sudden they're just lost. Right. Is there that story of that, oh no, wait. But I could be wrong.

I don't know. That the story of the lady chimp who... Did sign language? Became a prostitute. Okay, I already know. Already know. No, because she was like... She found out that if she fucks the male chimps, she'll sell a banana for...

So what? What? So for what? In exchange for a what? They put their dicks in her, and then they give her a banana for it. They'd be like, hey. They feed her, and it's a fucker. Why can't she pick, but there's trees everywhere?

There's no markets. There's no chance to walk somewhere. Because this was in a laboratory. They weren't, like, on a tree. So who was fucking the monkeys then? You're saying that scientists created a scenario where they prostituted? No, no. She prostituted herself.

She was like, are you telling me there was a black market of scientists giving monkeys' bananas in specifically in order to fuck the monkeys. Why did the monkeys that just eat the bananas? She put on lipstick, and she was like, Hey, give me the banana. She shook her ass with her ass with her. Which meant, in monkey language, Pussies for one banana boys.

Yeah, I think, I think she would... One sock equals one banana, two bananas equals one fuck. And she was just swimming in bananas at the end of the day, and all these other guys were... She was swimming in bananas, apparently. Honestly, if I was a monkey, I saw a stupid slut monkey, I'd give her banana fuck her to kill her and get to my banana bag. If you were, if you were a female monkey,

would you just become a slut monkey? I would be the biggest slut monkey that is dude. I'd be sucking every monkey they can tell. Getting their bananas. I think this is a true story. I think that's true. You would see that video of the, monkey fucking a frog. It's a video of a monkey just fucking. Can I say that what happened that time?

Yeah. Oh man. Okay. So there was one day we were in our old house. I was like, look at this video of a monkey raping a frog. And then you're like right into YouTube, you go, monkey rapes frogs. And Corey walked downstairs and he's like, what is this? I go, look, it's a monkey raping a frog. And he screamed at me and got really mad and stormed up the stairs because I was watching a monkey raping a frog. It's true. He calls me an asshole. Yeah. In his defense, he was watching a monkey like a frog. That's hilarious. He can't, it's pretty funny. A monkey rapes a fraud.

Like he was using the frog is like a flashlight. I think the funny, yeah, no, I think the funny thing with the video is the fucking frog's mouth is just open. It's just, it's like, pumping his fucking head. It's exactly as funny as what you imagine what a fucking is the fucking is a fox. It's exactly how we describe. Look up a monkey rapes frog. And you'll see it.

And just imagine Corey getting just fucking and furious with that video or me for even suggesting to put on that video. Speaking of hilarious videos that upset people, Zach recently showed me a video of Bill Cosby? Yes. Now look. By the way, can I just say,

one of the funniest things ever, so there was him being a rapist kind of slipped out over the years. Yeah. So there was a girl like in 2003,

the early 2000 in Chile was like, I'm going to come forward and say you rapist he's like, don't do that. I'll pay your money, but you can't tell

anybody I'll rape you. And he gave her a bunch of money, and then she ran it up for raping and he wanted the fucking money back. It's not a business to it's actually, Bill. You could ask somebody

for money back after you pay them to say they didn't, you didn't rape them. Maybe he paid her in bananas. I wish I could have fucking seen the phone call and he'd be like, I want the money back. That to me is one of the funniest things ever. You wronged me.

Like, you raped you. How dare you? Yeah. It's not like a fucking bad loaf of bread you can take back to the store. You're a rapier, dude. Weren't people like milking Michael Jackson? Not in the way that I said.

Look, can I just say? Let's talk about celebrity pamphiles for just one second. We'll go back to the book, I'm thinking. What are you guys honest thoughts about Michael Jackson? He did it, like, honestly. I never thought he did it until I read the list of books in his library. There was a lot of little boy,

Little boy but holes. I don't think he molested children in the way that people... He didn't fuck him in the butt. I don't think so. But I do think that there was a part of him that either... It was either interested in that or there was just a part of him that wanted to connect and remain a child. I do think there was some kind of like PTSD from his growing up with his dad. No, I think they were just taking advantage.

At the same time, at the same time, best case scenario, didn't fuck any kids. All kids are unfucked. The Michael Jackson household. He still fucking slept in beds with kids. Yes. Adult pop star. Whole beds. The whole beds,

it was like a bed of kittens, but they were all children. That should still be frowned upon. I think he was a little bit retarded, though, wasn't he? That's what I'm trying to say a little bit. He was like, who does that? Like, I think he was innocent. He was like, I'm a kid.

That's what I'm saying. There was a mental thing going on. Isn't the definition of autism? Like you think you're a kid? Or not think you're a kid, but you're kind of childlike. No, Woody Allen. Like, Woody Allen. I feel like there's a celebrity spectrum, right?

A celebrity spectrum of like, okay, definitely did it. Right. Didn't do it. Woody Allen, I really don't think Woody Allen did it. Let me say this. I thought that was pretty, I thought that was common knowledge. People believe it.

I talk to people. Oh, yeah, no, Woody Allen's a fucking pedophile. That makes sense. But like, believe me, I'm not a fan of touching kids, you know. But once you're accused of being a pedophile, your career is older. That's my point. If Woody Allen, there's video footage of Woody Allen fucking his, you know, a child, I'll be the first to say some.

Didn't Oregon Freeman finger his niece? Well, that's something you just said. I don't know, man. Look it up. But no, Woody Allen. So Woody Allen. So, like, Bill Cosby has like... I finger, little Susie.

That was pretty good. No, but I was going to say... Roman Polanski. Once I've done. Definitely was. And I love... I like his movies a lot. What's the guy is?

Brian Singer from X-Man? He fucked kids or something, right? But he's gay, too, right? Is he a gay pedophile? I think so. Oh. But I think they were just younger. I don't know if they were like...

No, I think he got legal trouble. I think he got in trouble. I think so. Well, then even Billy Joel, though. He, like, ended up... I don't know if it was pedophilia, but it was... They adopted that like 17 or 16 or 15 year old Asian girl and then he ended up.

Well, like that's what happened with Winnie All right. This is what happened with Winnie All right. This episode. And like, who else recently? Jared. Jared Fogel was fucking 16 years. Did you see what shop one he had? Yeah.

Seven terabyte or something? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the size of it. No, I didn't mean, did you literally see? No, I did not see any of the images. No, but it was like, it was like, what, two laptops, eight something? It was like a ridiculous amount of child. Like, he had more information. He had more child porn on his computer.

Then it took to take man on the moon. Yeah, that's true. You know, more power. Like, honestly. I'm sure that's what he was always thinking about when he was looking at the window on the moon. No, honestly, if like... I wonder if the spokesman for Subway is going to have as much... They didn't not have.

Like, because remember one gigabyte in 1990 was like the size of a room. Well, it's bizarre because there is like this whole chain of people associated with Jared and Subway that were all caught. Like his manager or something like that and then his assistant. Yeah. Even though I don't know if that was just a fall guy. Did you hear... Can I ask, how do you find somebody who has... Who also likes child porn?

What's the conversation? It's like a football. Hey, you like to see him? I think Jared was like open about it. Like what's the actual way that, no, but you can't be open. Well, how old were his kids? His kids are like six. His kids?

Yeah, he's not allowed to see him. Two kids. I think they're like six or something like that. And so it's like maybe he goes to the park and someone's like, oh, yeah, you got some nice looking kids there. And it's like, yeah, I like, yeah, I like kids. And it's like, oh, hey, I like, I don't know. Like you got to like somehow warm up into it or you just come straight out.

You can't, you can't jump into the pool. Or maybe you do. Maybe you do, but you do it as a joke, like, man, I'd really love to fuck some kids today. Well, okay, wait, wait. You know what I mean? I mean, come, I just get it. And then if they're like, you gauge, like you give him the eyes, like, just get in.

You know the dad for seventh heaven, the pastor guy? Yeah. He was also, you did he even like, wife, like, recorded him in a therapy session. Oh, yeah. He was like, yeah, like, 1975, like masturbated for him of some kid. And he was trying to get help. And then she released it, too. Yeah, she released it.

And it's like, what he did was really messed up. Yeah. But I feel like if you're a pedophile, you're trying to get help, You still, you still... I agree with you on that. Did you see that article recently on salon.com? Yeah, it was like, it was written by a pet file where it was basically like

shaming people who frowned upon wanting to fuck kids. Yeah. And the whole slant of the article was like, I'm real sick. And yeah, I think about fucking kids and yeah, it gets me off. But I never done it before.

And you're the real monster for thinking I'd be a real monster for thinking I want a fuck kid what I would do, I would actually fuck a kid. And this to me is like, like somebody going, yeah, you know,

I think about fucking cutting my child's head off and like, there's some things you should keep to yourself. Like, not even that. Look, if you think about fucking kids, period, and that gets you off for real, you should not be accepted to society. No. Look, that should be frowned.

Look, the basic rule is, there's no gray. Sexuality is gray. But not if you're a pedophile. If you're gay, you want to fucking consent to the adult. But if the thing you want to fuck has no consent and it's alive, there should be no circumstance where that's, when that's smiled upon. But that's my issue is like when people, when people make their sexuality, the defining feature of their, like, personality, I can't stand that. Like, you know, there's people who are just

way too open about it, like, you know, furries wearing, like, their asses cut out. Look, I don't get being a funny, but I'm okay with that because not, most of them are fine. They're not thinking, they're not phoenix stories. You're picking up and put up the point of them. Right. Yeah. No, but, see, I'm talking about, like, you know, people just say, like a pedophile is like, I'm a pedophile. I'm a petophile. It's like, why do that? I don't, like, just say, if I had a fetish where it was, um, finger and baby, or fucking a girl on her period or something, I don't go around being like, yep, that's me. I'm all the bad. I'm all the this then like you know it's like keep it yourself I think I think that I think the

general rule is if the first thing you open up with is your sexuality or you're a boring fuck you know you know um gay people who had the the voice where it's understand it's universal yeah yeah do you think that they were born with that voice not born with it but do you think or they I think I think I think it's to do with hormones or something I do too because I've definitely heard younger kids yeah I do not think they are gay yeah who who or can you know what I remember knowing my friend's like kid brother was gay like before he even knew he was gay. And then it turned out he was gay.

Yeah. I think I think it's a chemical thing. My point is like the pedophile thing. I genuinely don't understand that. That's honestly saying, you know, here, I think about committing genocide against black people, but I would never do it. It's like you have bad ideas within your head. It doesn't fucking matter if you do it. Bad ideas are still bad ideas. Yeah, and the fact

that you could ever spin it as, well, you're not tolerant of it or you, the fact that you could reprimand me for having these, you know, ideas. And by the way, when this person was obviously attacked for writing this article, the follow-up article was like, oh, I can't believe these right leaders are attacking me. These right leaders, if I made an article saying,

hey, my big thing is I fan of size about a rape, I really get off to write, but I would never do it so fuck you. Yeah, but you know what, fast I'd be fucking... But this is, this was what, salon.com? Yeah, my point is still, look, what's really bothered me? Full disclaimer here. I'm not a politician. I don't know everything about politics, but I think... Okay, get on with it. What?

The right for a long time had a big amount of people who were super radical and very easy to pick on and spot out. Like radical dudes? Just radical bros. But you know, the people who thought the Earth was 4,000 years old. Sure, yeah. They believe things like that literally. Think angels are real and think that, et cetera and so on.

That was like a pretty, we could laugh at that. But I feel like in the last like five to ten years. And it's always been there. But the left was like actively pushing people. The far left is actively pushing people like me, for example, into the fucking center. Yeah, me too. Completely. You know, and it's not, it says it completely push me out of it.

But it seems people like, is this really fucking what this side is now? And you said one time, you said it was like a sphere. Like you go so far left, you're right again. A horseshoe. Yeah, it's a horse shoe theory. It's a game of Astero's. You go so far left, you come out right or something.

Yeah. Or vice versa. But it does feel, we used to call it the horseshoe, but I actually think it is more of just a fucking loop. I think people are just literally just making circles around. That's what it is. You go so far left that you're like,

oh, women shouldn't be wearing slut clothes anymore because that's objectifying them. Yeah. And then it's like, wait, wait, so you're telling women what they can wear. That's the opposite of your agenda. That's what I'm saying. In the 60s,

when we're walking our naked with her tits out. Now it's like, uh, fictional characters can't wear they can't have boobs bigger than a Bia they can't have a booms. But see it's under the guys but see what's interesting is that that is under the guys of it's not about women's freedom anymore

it's uh you know video games are always made by men apparently only men make video games even though they want to be a part of video games but if there's ever a female character that's in any way sexual or whatnot it was only developed by a guy for guys

to jack off to that do not respect women. Do you see that new link thing? Oh the Female link thing? But that's what people wanted, right? Yeah, exactly. People have been crying and screaming about... People who are screaming about... Look, these people don't want anything.

They don't want anything. I don't know what they want. Oh, you mean they just want to complain? They want to complain. Right. They want to have problems because the second of these people, listen, if you took everything these people said and did all of it, they would still complain.

Yeah. They make a living complaining. Yeah. They're not going to stop. Yeah. You see, this is even a symptom of people like on YouTube who are rancers. When they run out of stuff to rant about, they start making shit up. I remember...

But what was the issue with Link that you're talking about? Oh yeah, like fucking, I think about a year ago, there was this whole uproar is like, why isn't there a female Zelda or why isn't there a female Link? This is bullshit. They just decided to pull a problem out of their ass. And then finally, they actually came out with a female Link and they're complaining that, oh, it's just Link with a fucking, it's just link with a fucking, it's just, it's just, it's just, there's no difference. Because I think the problem was that. Link always looked like he had a pussy. Yeah, but the problem is that like, she's not overly sexualized.

She looks like a badass who's a fucking, I don't play Zelda, but you know, Link, what does he do? He hits things on the head with a thing. He looks like, she looks like. Not a normal person. But you do realize that if she had any kind of curves, like a smaller waist and around her ass, everyone would be like, you fucking sexualized Link. But Link's supposed to be like a little kid though, right? Right. So as little kids, little kids have very few defining features.

A lot of kids are somewhat androgynous, which Link always was. Yeah. And so now that it's a girl, add a ponytail, whatever, it's like, and then that's the problem. Like I said, it's their job to complain. It's their job to find problems that don't exist. If they, if they want us to talk about their career is over. I think there's a time and a place. to fight for your rights.

And I think that's the biggest thing that bothers me. Look, I know it's a fallacy to divert attention away from a problem and say, hey, you should be complained about this. There's bigger problems, right? If you're against abortion rights and you say, hey, why do you fight for this? Instead, this cancer's a thing. I don't think that's a valid argument. But it is when you're pointing out non-issues.

I've always thought of it like this. I'm about legalizing weed and stuff? No, not even that, because that's an actual thing. I don't give a shit. You talk about it. Fight for legalizing weed. I don't care. If a woman actually gets raped by somebody.

then you know what, that's something to talk about. If Linkl is really just a recolor of Link with a ponytail, that is not something for anyone to consider an issue. If you spend your career arguing about what Samis wears in Super Smash Brothers, you're out of problems. Yes. That's it. Yes.

People are, I mean, you know, at Friday before, look at women in Afghanistan, look at actual women who are oppressed. Yeah. And fucking stowed or killed or forced to marry their rapist or, you know, just things like that. They have acid throw in their faces if they try to go to college. When I was living in Malaysia, though, they were a lot better, but they were still dealing with certain issues. There were some more domestic ones like my mom couldn't work.

And that really took a toll on my mom at the time. And I think it really changed her outlook on a lot of things. She's naturally very productive person, loves to work. So her not being able to work was a serious blow to just who she was as a person. And then while I was also in Malaysia, there was a number of cases where girls would get off planes with jeans. They were wearing jeans. And they got shot at the airport. Shot.

Oh, straight up shot and killed. So there's clearly plenty of actual issues that, you know, as guys who are very misogynistic in our jokings and whatnot, still absolutely cherish and respect the human spirit and believe in dignity and human respect. It's, dude, I honestly think this even, maybe it's a little bit topical, but I think it is, it's been a growing thing. I keep seeing things in the news about college campuses having issues with, like, the Missouri College Campus Head of- What happened? Where essentially, I mean, I think the gist of it was a college. professor put out a big email saying This was Yale, right?

This was Yale, I believe. Yeah, that one was Yale. One of the professors, to my knowledge, put out an email saying So I guess the college or somebody within the college originally put out of the email saying, don't dress if it was this for Halloween. This is offensive.

So that was either the college or whatever. But then a professor responded and said, people should dress how they want to. It's college, it's free speech. We shouldn't coddle and cradle and baby these people. It's, this is, college is where you learn about the real world. The real world doesn't have safe zones

and trigger warnings. And there's a video. this girl, the student, screaming at this fucking guy. There was a petition created to get this guy fired. They're trying to ruin this guy's livelihood. Just because he said,

people should dress us what they want to for Halloween. Right. There was, no, no, no, similarly, did you see that Safe Zone video? I think Lexi linked it to me, where it was like those, that group of people,

there was like a mixed race group of people. They're all hanging out in like a library or a, or a foyer or something like that. And there are signs that say, hey, this is a safe place, safe play, safe zone or whatever. And people were going into the circle with a microphone and they were kind of like telling their stories about like race and about you know

just like sharing the Asian girl yes and then the Asian girl gets up there so everybody's talk everyone's clapping it's hugging and good spirited and then she picks up the mic and she speaks like very broken English like she clearly because she's she's from she's actually from yeah country and she's happy to be in America and she's happy to be in college getting an education and it's and it's great and she tells the story about how not all white people are bad and that black people can also be racist the story was she said she was crossing the street with her friend yeah and A driver, a black person, almost hit her. To get the fuck out or go back to a country or something.

Right. When she crossed the road, a white woman pulled over and said, are you okay? How are you doing? Right. And then she said, well, the point of this story is that not all black people are racist, but black people can be racist too. That's all she said, they can be racist too. There's bad eggs and everything.

And then everybody in the kind of audience stood and look at each other together with Dead Yankeeky. I think when people grabbed the microphone. Yeah, just literally just grabbed it out of her. That's literal. There was a girl too. There was like, uh-uh, girl. Like you were the wrong. She said, she said, yeah, we get it.

And she looked at it all like bitchy. She was like, I think the problem too is that the internet is such a powerful megaphone for certain things to occur. And things like gaming and whatnot, you know, most of the people who like video games are probably on the internet as well. And they're probably pretty active on the internet just because, you know, they spend a lot of time on it. And so even you start seeing it in the news too where they start picking up on all this gaming related stuff. So if there's any hot topic, right, like rape or feminism or whatnot, if there's a way, for people to tie it into games, it happens to get a whole lot more attention. And I don't think people are unaware of this. I think there's actually quite a few people like legitimate feminists

who are fighting the fight, the good fight, but they see all the attention going to these things. And they're like, what the hell do you have to do to actually get some eyes on this, to actually get some people interested in this? But the problem being that these people are just making it a farce. It's just a big caricature. You know, it's like the biggest argument I always see is people who say, Well, you know, maybe the Niedisukes doesn't get all the facts right, but at least he's studied a conversation. That's what they always say. They're starting a conversation. You know, same thing with the other thing.

It's like, well, maybe all white people aren't racist, but they're starting a conversation needs to be had. Right. It's like, no, it's like, that's like, that's like, apples cause cancer to bring cancer list. It's like, well, at least they're bringing up cancer list. Like, no, they're not. Right. Then everyone's going to spend all their time and their resource to say, no, apples don't cause cancer and here's why. And then you completely waste all your time, waste all the energy, waste all the buzz.

In the meantime, you've embedded a misconception in people's minds. And then it becomes, you cannot take it. It becomes very hard to, you know, separate those two things. Yeah. It becomes its own weird sub logic. And especially, especially when it comes to like some of these circles of people, because they only read articles that reinforce what they already think. They only retweet things.

Like, if there's misinformation, they will happily share it amongst themselves and for their followers to read as well. And they will block out anything that says otherwise. It's like the Russian media. It really is. It's like propaganda. It's just propaganda. A lot of these people will just say things purposely that they know are not true just so they can feel better about them. They prefer feeling good and feeling right to feeling to the actual truth.

To know what it's true. Exactly. Do you think they're happy with themselves? No, because I think they genuinely think the world is constantly out to get them. I think it's just a victim complex in the sense where... Now, do you think all of them are or do you think it's like most movements where the few loud leaders believe it and then they suck in other people? that are more I mean in this case there's a lot of very influential people that get sucked in well the thing about that is a lot of people a lot of the bigger

people you know Josh Sweden for example who got sucked in and spat right back out but the funny thing about that yeah exactly they got spat back up but the funny thing is when people like Josh we enter a movie like that there's a good chance they did not really do it at all they did because look we we're so used to it because we you know we work online we see Twitter and Facebook every day so we're used to the we're used to this a lot articles of like they're doing it but if you're a person who never goes online and you see an article like women should be better represented in video games.

Yeah, yeah. That's a true statement. Yeah. Sure. But then you don't see this entire. That's just the fucking, that's the crusty service. You don't see the big fucking underbelly of defending pedophiles and all these other horrible things. And I think that's when people get like that could sucked in. But like the idea of feminism is good. You know, equality for women. Absolutely, dude.

I love the idea. I think the idea is awesome. And, you know, if that was that's what feminism was, then I'd be a feminist. Absolutely. You know what? I consider myself I do consider myself a feminist. Oh, yeah. If the definition is what the definition initially was, which was equality.

You're talking like a first way feminist, right? Like that's a third. Absolutely first way feminist. Take out your titties. What about what? Burn that bra. Don't walk around naked. Shake your ass in my face.

Don't shave your armpits. Be proud and loud and be yourself. Do you want women to shave their armpits? Yeah. I want them. I'm so sick of this fucking thing. It's like, why should I shave my armpits? Why should I?

Guys shaved their fucking faces every day. Fuck you. I shave my balls in my ass. my pubs. All right. It's fucking hygiene, you baby. Stop it.

You're not, you're not being, you're not being, edgy revolutionary. You're not, you're not made your statement. You're being fucking unhygienic. No,

I'm gonna just, I, look, I've been with people that had hairy parts, uh, like hairy legs and Harry Pitts and everything. And it's not the thing

that turns me on the most, but I have no qualms with the fact of people doing it. If you want to be hairy because it makes you feel good, fine. But if you do you need to make a message, you're a fucking idiot. How?

You're fucking dumb idiot. Every, Society is not just fucking subjugate women and pressure women in the shaping. They pressure everybody. Guys with big, fucking nasty pub beards. Yeah, ISIS, yeah. You want to, you know, you'll leave your fucking other bits going out.

Yeah, that's what ISIS does too. They fucking grow their bitters. It is. How? Do pubs? Know when to stop growing? They don't. They don't.

They do. Mine don't. When are they like, yeah, this is a good length. They don't. What are you talking? I keep growing like a Gandalf beard. They stop. Mine would if I didn't.

No, they don't. I know what you mean. I think, I think like four or five inches. I didn't shave mine from the age of 13 when I got my first little pubic. I was a late bloomer to the age of 21. I didn't shave them at all. And it was, it was bush, but it wasn't like a fucking fucking, it wasn't like a fucking. I think it's if you don't shave it a lot.

I think the more you shave it, the longer it will possibly. But how do they know when to stop growing? I don't know how they know. How do your teeth know to stop growing? Why aren't my teeth just growing bigger and bigger every day? How do armpit hair is no one to stop growing? I don't know. But beards keep doing it.

But I'm curious, because you, Zach, you were mentioning about, like, girls in their body image. Are you saying that people are pressuring girls to shave? I'm not saying that people are saying that people, that's, I'm saying, look. Are they arguing that people aren't preferring guys? Yes, the argument is, why should they shave my armpits? That's just what society wants me to do. It's like, no, that's what people want you to do because it's like good. Every girl, I know.

They are like, yeah, it's gross not to shave your fucking arm. Why is it every time I see a poster of a guy in underwear, he's totally fucking waxed and shaved too? Can I say this? Can I complain about that then? I'm a fucking dude. I think armpit is worse on guys. I don't like armpit hair. That's just me.

I shave my armpits. I don't shave with a clean razor. I shave my electric razor. Zach, I'm a hairy motherfucker. If I had the choice to literally have all my body hair removed, I'd take it in a second. Really? I personally do not like having as much body hair as I have. I've heard, you know.

I'm pretty hairless. I don't have any chest hair. I'm, I should have been hairless because I'm fucking Asian, but apparently I'm not. You got hair everywhere except for your head. That's right. Thanks. Now. Damn, dude.

God, you're like a fucking eight-year-old walking up to Stephen Hawkin. Like, your head's, bent backwards and you sleep in a chair. Do you think Stephen Hawking can play... You talk like a robot. Do you think Stephen Hawking... Why are you retarded lucky? Why do you have to poop in your pants?

What if Stephen Hawking was in a room where they were playing Chinese whispers? You think he'd be able to play. What the fuck is Chinese whispers? What the fuck is Chinese whispers? When there's someone sitting next to your... Is this one of your uncles? And he whispers and you whisper in their ear.

You whisper in their ear and they say something like the cat is on the wall. And then at the end it's like... Oh, it's telephone. Do you mean telephone with Chinese whispers? What the fuck are you talking about? Brad on my ball, like, you know, the cat's up the wall. Yes, telephone.

What about? Or Chinese whispers. Do you think he can whisper? How does he tell a secret? Hello. Hello. Hello. You think he's only smart because he's like always online like on the internet on his

computer. So they are people always big. He just Googles it. He just Googles all the answer. Would it be funny if there was like a text to speech program for for the internet and he'd be like Googling things like what is the meaning of two girls one cop? Dude. And then it would return like the meaning of two girls one cop.

That's the only reason why he's smart is because he Googles all the answer. He's totally Googled like average peter size. 28. What is the average penis size for 28? It's actually 5.5 in America, so I am just only a little bit below average. It's a fact. Look it up. He's still alive. Yeah, he should have done a long time ago. I think he's broken the code.

Do you think he's like... I'm curious. Do you think he's a corpse on a wheelchair, but like the computer's keeping him alive? He says he's been dead for like 30 years ago. Yeah, yeah. You'd never know. They kept Lenin's corpse looking fresh for like a hundred years. Oh yeah, they did. No one would know. If you see the video, they're like cleaning out his his fucking open body. It's disgusting. Yeah.

They like crack off an arm accidentally and like, ooh, They put it back back. People back on. Why don't they do that? What's the point of fucking keeping him a display?

Um, because he's a real... Didn't they do that with Mow? They did that with Mow for me. Yeah, yeah, Mao was, his body was...

Wait, is Lennon that stole the display I think they took him off a while ago, but I know he was there for a long time. He was there for a long time. Like, he died in the 20s, right? I think it was really, I think it was like 21 even.

So you can go and pay your specs and be like, wow, look at you dead guy. Yeah, well, like, Mao and Lennon killed a lot of people. Why is it them that get the corpse that doesn't rock? You know, it's the crazies that really get the crowd going. They get the loyalist followers.

I wonder if Hitler would be on display if he wasn't like... Oh, if Hitler was still alive, his, wherever his monument, like his body, wherever it was, would be like a pseudo-sacred place. That's why he burned his, that's why he told his people to burn his body. There were people that swear he lived in Argentina and he died. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard that. He died in like the 70s or something. I was watching a documentary, first of all. If you look at, like, Hitler's health, let's say the Third Reich didn't collapse.

Let's say there was a C-spire. the dude was like dying. He had parking. The last video of Hitler, his hands fucking, like, doing that. He was not a healthy guy. He had a lot of problems, which I think is funny because he had this image of, like, the perfect human being. He was riddled. He didn't look like... Do you think he was just describing his perfect man, like his perfect boy?

Like, he looked nothing like... He doesn't have blue eyes? Beyond the physical... He was like a five-upers. Are you saying the entire Nazi movement was his insecurities and what he wished he could be? I genuinely think that was part of it. Or maybe he was just alluded. But he was riddled. So even if, like, he wasn't

killed, the war del end or whatever, He probably would have died with like 10 years of the war. Yeah, that's speculation. But my point is he had a doctorate and said he was failing. He doesn't ever watch these documentaries about like the what would have happened all through the history? I hate that. I hate what humans after Earth after humans.

I hate the fucking shit. But I mean like what if what if the Soviets like won this cold war? You have no way of knowing. No. No, we have good speculation though. We have a good idea. I'm curious. So it sounds like you have one in mind.

No, no. No, no. Like not even Hitler were like what if JFK survived. Yeah, yeah. It's just interesting because like, you know, I don't want to go too off topic here. get too boring or anything, but I think those were fun to watch because I think we do have a pretty good idea. What did they say with JFK? Were we going to get nuked?

No, the thing with JFK was like, everybody thinks, okay, since he's like now, if he would have lived that he would have been reelected and had a great second term. But the reality of it was, JFK also had a lot of health problems, which by the way was pretty much the reason why, in a weird sense, was why he was killed. He had such a bad back that he wore a back brace.

When he got shot the first time, he couldn't slip over all the way. He tried to, but his back brace kept him up right, so he got shot in the head. Oh. So he was in terrible help. And so there's all... He was so young, though. He was a...

Yeah, he was, yeah. But that's... But he was also kind of a guy who probably would... He would have lived... This is what I'm saying. Oh, no. He made... He would have made Bill Clinton blush.

That's my point. What the fuck was going on with his personal life? So his stories were saying a couple things. They were saying like, well, either his health record... Because the American public didn't... Or his personal life would have exploded in his face. Yeah, there's a bunch of stories about there. I have a theory, right?

So, you know the way I was saying about Hitler was stressed. That's why he was sick. Mm-hmm. He was the most stressed matter? No, no, no, no. But, and you see Obama, like, he had, like, nice black hair, young face. He looked about 18 when he came, and now he looks about 80. He was scared white.

Bill Clinton was getting the blow jobs to counteract, the act of aging. Kempkew is good. His dick sucks like every night, dude. Yeah, but that's by his wife. It wasn't by his wife. No, it wasn't by his wife. I don't know. He was a player.

He was a big player. The biggest rumor is that he, like, fuck him in a row. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like, yeah, I forgot about that. That's true. And not just her, but, yeah. Yeah, Bunchfield.

there's a bunch of records of him taking people. All of the Kennedy's kind of had that history. Yeah, they're kind of a cool family. They're cool. They were a lot of, they were fast drivers, and they drank hard, and they played hard. They fucking left the body. Oh yeah, they were in the mafia. I forgot about that whole element to it.

No, I think the rumors that, I don't think the Kennedys were in the mafia. I think the room we were talking about it was like the... I think they had mob connections, though, right? I think it was the opposite. I think it was like one of the girls that JFK slept with had mob connections. Yeah. The theory is that the mob killed JFK. Like proxy kind of thing.

Oh, yeah. And actually the Kennedy, no, I think it was the opposite because the Kennetys were super, like, they were, like, JFK and Robert Kennedy were, like, trying to crack down the vodka and get rid of it. Oh. Meanwhile, they were drinking booze and fucking girls. Ted Kennedy was killing women. Yeah, and burying them in the beds, cutting open the mattresses. Isn't it what the fucking, like, he, like, crashed the car and, like, everyone kind of forgot about it, that he fucking, like, crashed the car and, like, he, like, crashed the car and, like, his girlfriend or whatever died. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, who is this? Ted Kennedy, but, like, the only surviving brother. Wait, wait, wait, what did he do? He, like, crashed to call in the 60s. Wasn't he, too? Yeah, he like, crash the car. Like, his girlfriend or whatever died.

He just fucking left the car. He was like, waiting like a day. He's like, oh, yeah, fucking someone's dead. Yeah. And he got a huge shovel for it. But then, not really. Yeah, not really. Yeah, he's a Kennedy.

Yeah, people keep forgetting. Like, Caitlin Jenner, didn't she kill a dude this year? She fucking ran a guy over. He ran, okay, she ran a guy over. But, no, but the fine thing is. Wait, wait, why? You pulled back hard. He put the brakes on that one.

Like, didn't she, like, she probably was, you know, out of the media spotlight and stuff. She's like, I'm going to become a woman. I'll be come back in the media spotlight and she's like, nah, everyone loved her. Then she killed the person. She was like, do you think she regretted all the part of the Kardashians mom, dad? Do you think she regretted all of the plastic surgery after she killed? Who are you talking about? Kayla Jenner.

Yeah, who's that? Oh, it's like Bruce Jenner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. Be Kayla, no, she's on the Kardashians, I think, but she's not part of the Kardashians. I thought Bruce Jenner was the dad. Who is the dead?

No, she's Kylie Jenner. Or he's Kylie Jenner's mom, dad. I know nothing about the Kardashians. All I know is that the dad used to be like a swimmer or a model or something. Maybe it is. Yeah, no, he was a famous... He was in the Olympics or something? Yeah, Olympic.

And then turned into a girl, right? Why do people care so much about this dude on the Olympics? Why does anyone care about the Kardashians? Who fucking cares about some... Well, this isn't groundbreaking opinions, by the way. I think everyone says, why the fuck do people care about? I guess because they're really rich and people just want to put themselves in their shoes or some shit? I don't know.

I don't know, man. But yeah, nobody talks with the fact that she fucking is a murderer. She killed somebody. Yeah. Matthew Broderick. What did he do? He fucking murdered? He's fucking...

No. He stabbed two kids in Ireland. He was like, oh boy, I'm gonna drive my car and he fucking, like, kill a family. Yeah, he killed a family. In Ireland. He went to Ireland on holidays and he killed, he killed a family. How did he kill?

Matthew Brodick is a murder. Guys, the way you're phrasing this, it's like he walked into someone's farmhouse in the middle of the night. With a fucking shotgun to the kids' heads. He took a day off. He went to fucking Ireland. That's what he did in his day off.

Kill a family. That's his real day off. That's how he unwinds. After a long-ass Broadway tour, he hops on a plane. He takes off his shoes. His private jet kicks off his shoes, flies to Ireland, gets off. They have a car waiting for him.

Inside the car, there's just a big old bottle of Evan Williams, some cheap-ass American whiskey waiting for him. He's got a cigar. He lights up that cigar. He takes, he fucking down to half the bottle. This is every day off. There's a new family. That's how we unwinds the fucking drives right in the middle of some Irish farm town

and just plows anyone who's in front of him down. Kills the whole family. The whole family. That's, that's all you met with your friends. He's a fucking killer. He killed the family. hear that Matthew Broderick has just finished a Broadway tour and you live in

Ireland, don't go for a picnic. Not with your family. Because you're, you'd be looking over your shoulder. What are there celebrities kill people? OJ Simpson. O.J. Simpson, he killed somebody. He definitely... Well, that was such a quote-unquote debatable. He fucking killed him. There's literally audio, like recordings of him screams. He's like, I'm going to fucking

kill you to his wife. He's like, I'm going to murder you tomorrow on the 1994 day. People say stupid shit all the time. But I do think that it was pretty clear. He did it. He totally fucking did it. I mean, at this point, does it even matter? Unfortunately? He's in jail.

He's in jail. He was in a fucking... He's about this? He stole his jerseys back or something? Like, so a lot of his stuff, his sports stuff was like... Now, he's in jail. It's fine. He's in jail now. Let him. I feel like... No matter what he would have done the rest of his life, if he would have broken a law at, like, 1%

they would, like, we fucking got this guy again. Do you think Mel Gibson has secretly killed somebody at some point? Fucking the Jews. He's definitely... He's definitely. He's definitely. You think it's possible for another, like, genocide like another Hitler to come about. Oh, yeah, well, isn't it? Yes, I do.

It's happening right now. I think that genocide will be of men, white men with dicks. Lied up, how will we be killed? They will line us up, they will chop our weeners off. They'll actually put scissors in all of our hands. They'll line us up. They'll make us turn to the person to your left and chop the guy's wiener off. And then they'll put a gun in the other hand and they'll make you turn to the person to your right.

Shoot that person. And everyone will shoot each other in a human centipede of brain splatters. I'm sorry for being white. is the last words all of us that have to say. All right, so we've got some Patreon questions. We haven't hit these up in a little bit. Some of these will probably go through pretty quickly. Other ones, if they're really, really extra stupid,

not only will we skip it, but we will point and laugh at you. Just get on with it. All right. Aaron Dennis asks, say you guys starred in an 80s slasher flick. Who would be the killer amongst the sleepy cabin crew? Their guest was Jeff. I don't know. I feel like you could actually come up.

Like, if you knew our personalities, you could, because it's always about twists, right? you've always got to have twists and turns I don't know who would be the killer but I know Coyne would be the last one surviving Yeah Just out of sure You'd be the first one you thought was gonna die

Yeah you watch you know But he survives the entire time He's like the stoner from Kevin of the Woods I don't know I feel like I don't know No question is who would die first I think it would be Yeah I think you'd die first

That or you I'd be like hey guys I want to take a leak And I'd be You'd either die first or you'd die second to last Because you'd be you'd be the smart guy Who was able to like outsmart I'd be a little pussy I'd throw people in front of me

Yeah And everyone will wanted you to die early on. Yeah, Zach, you were. And they all think you were going to last until the end of the movie. I think is I have no pride. If somebody broke into like, not to get too fucking, but the, the parents, they broke into the theater.

The fucking guys on stage booked it. They did not give a fuck. Wait, what happened? The parents attack. Oh, okay, yeah. The guys are playing on stage fucking booked it immediately. And I would have done that too. If somebody breaks into like a, if a guy walks into the convenience towards, you get over

the ground, I'm going to fucking push a lane in front of me. I don't care. I have no shame. I do not. I want to live. Well, what was the alternative? fucking be like, no way to jump to save people. Yeah, try to be the hero.

Yeah, there was like, yeah, try to be the hair. I will shit my pants and cry. I don't care. So we'd like to have you around. You'd last at least to the middle of the movie. I was going to say Stamper because he's out of the group. Right, but that's the whole thing. It's like that was the twist.

He came back just to kill everybody. Like you wouldn't expect it because you're wondering which one of us it is, but twist. No, the twist would be, it was Stamper, but then the twist all along is it wasn't Stamper. There never was a Stamper. Yeah, there was a Stamper never existed. There's a fuf, fafat, dog. There's a ghoul. Uh, yeah, no, I still think Jeff.

Jeff would be a good Jason. Just like a brick house that goes around chopping things in half. And you could try to beg and plead, and he just stared dead in your face and then cut you out. I always said, Jeff doesn't like when I say this, but I always said he has a heart of gold somewhere tucked away. He does. He does have a heart of gold, but he's got an arm of steel and he would crush. I think we're all just lovely people. Yeah.

You know what? The killer was none of us. The killer was we all killed ourselves. Yeah, we all killed ourselves. Looking for the killer. Our depression that's deep within all of our fucking brain. All right. Next up, we've got Ting Ting Abatu.

Oh. Are you related? That's not Chinese. Sorry. That's like Incan. It's your brother. Fuck you. All right, they ask, what's the most memorable experience you've had with an animal?

Ooh. An animal. Yeah. No beastality jokes. Yes. What is the most intimate experience you've had, Nile? That was the question. Specifically, Nile, what is the most romantic, intimate experience you ever had with an animal?

Look how I stared at the jagu's eyes. I saw that he was doubting the Holocaust. And I pulled him so I pulled the Wikipedia and showed him some facts. What happened? He refused, dude. Ugh, cats. He looked at me and I could just tell he was thinking, six million. Okay, I know that it happened, but six million, come on.

And I put the cat down and push him out of the door. No, but if you rub above Django's dick, don't touch any of his channels, but just above it. He gets his little fucking pecker just comes like out like a... I saw you do that once when nobody else was around. Do you think I saw you? I saw you do that with nobody else. So that's a thing. That's not a movie.

He was waiting to reveal that moment. It's a party trick. Just now. Just now. I held on to that. It's a back of my brain. Yeah. What else did you see?

Apparently that was, that's all he was willing to share with the audience. Right, you make what's your most intimate experience? My most intimate experience. Okay, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be dead honest. I'm gonna be dead honest. When I was 16. Ooh. Peanut butter boy.

No, no, no. There was no penetration of any kind, but I will say- What the fuck does that mean? Hold on, hold on. When I was, when I was 16, I had a dog. Holy shit. And her name was Heidi. Oh, her.

And she was a beautiful dog. I'm sure you think that. The thing, though, that was interesting. This dog actually never lived in the house. She was strictly a guard dog. But she wasn't a very good guard dog. I remember one time, though, when I was outside, for some reason, I was looking at her butt,

and I started getting aroused. So I walked over to Heidi, and I started rubbing her butt. You rubbed Heidi's heinie? I rubbed Heidi's heinie, and then I remember thinking in that moment, this is not right, and I walked away. Did you slip a little finger in that? No, not even close.

Not even close, but there was a moment when I actually physically got turned on by my dog's butt, and I was like, this is really weird. And then I walked away, and I could never look at her the same. I don't think she ever knew what was going on, you know. She just had her eyes kind of pointing in two different directions, staring out into the way. She was probably just happy she was being touched at all because she was dirty and smelled bad. But it was something weird. My friend fisted a cow.

It's not really that big of an accomplishment. If you fisted a hamster, I'd be like, I'll give you a gruff. I don't know, but the fissing a cow. It's just the imagery of somebody's standing there with your fucking arm. You can walk with your fucking hand out into a cow's ass. It's like a rhino, dude. It's a huge fucking animal. It's assholes, too. You kept asking me to dare him to do it. Do you dare me to fuck a guy? No. Yo, do you. Do you double dare me to do it? Dude. Just dare me. I double dare me dude.

Yeah. I bet you're pussy. But you think he'll fuck this guy. But you're bad. Oh, you got me. You're like, I dare you to fuck that dude. Oh, damn, dude. Oh, I guess I have to that because you dare me. Oh, God, man. Why do you always like that dude? This sucks, man. Alright, I'm gonna fuck this guy. All right, here we go. Mysterious stranger asks,

do you remember any funny stories from school of being in detention or being sent to the principal's office? Well, can I, can I say, can I start with this one? Yeah. Um, every, every, I was on detention every week because I was like a class clown, asshole kid that everyone hated, but I thought everyone liked me.

So I was trying to be funny. I was the kid who made the cat noise. It was when the teacher turns around too big. Why did you do that? It was just a little shithead for no reason. So I was in detention every goddamn week. Why'd you do this? Cat noise is a fucking bizarre one.

Yeah. I get, like, call the teacher of nigger or something, but missing cat noises. Oh, I know. I never do that. Not a black teacher. Once I was kicked out of class. So, like, I was in the back of the classroom with a mini chalkboard and a piece of chalk, and every time they rode on the chalkboard, I'd do it too, but, like, really loud.

And they'd hear, like, they'd get confused and they turn around and it behind my back. Yeah, we had teachers that were young that were just out of college, so they had to have an inspector every few months to, to, like, just watch how they teach the class. And every one of those teachers requested me to be kicked out of the class for just that class because they knew I'd, like, mess. Like, I was a little. Wow. fucking Bart Simpson little shithead. But anyway, we weren't allowed to speak English in school.

And, uh... I'm sorry, excuse me? Yeah, we weren't allowed to speak English. Oh, you had to speak Gaelic. Yeah, we had to speak Gaelga. So we had to be, uh... Say Gaelic. No, it's Gaelic.

Gaelic. I was a little bit more authentic here. Gaylic? No, we don't say that. We say Irish. Gaylic. But I had detention every week. Because it was on Fridays after school. And I remember one week I was just there in detention, and then they were reading out the role. And they were like, no, your name isn't on the list.

I just went to detention. Even if, like, I just thought I had it. I just assumed I had it. You were going so much that you were just like Pavlov's dog. It was it. I was just, well, um, my, I don't really have that many experiences because I was, I've always been very good. If I was ever too drunk or hung over to go to class, I just didn't go at all.

So I didn't really get in trouble very often. What? Drunk? Yes. In high school? Yes. Oh. Yeah.

I started drinking and smoking when I was 14. That was Malaysia. That was most of the people that I went to school with were also doing that. But no, as far as the stories are concerned, when I was in elementary school, I got a time out. For being drunk? Yeah. No, um, I actually got in trouble because, It was mainly my stepfather's fault for teaching me a phrase called its only pain.

And there was a young girl who had fallen off the monkey bars. And everyone was crowded around her. And I remember I knelt down next to her. And I just, I put my hand on her shoulder. And I was like, it's okay. It's okay. It's only pain. And my teacher looked at me very confused and was like,

Hey, man, can you come with me? And then she pulled me aside and explained to me that that was insensitive and that you can't say things like that. I understand the principle of what she was upset about. I don't. I think it was the idea of like she's not allowed to cry. Like I said something that was less than... No, you were like, it's only pain. Pain, fate, you'll be fine.

See, that was the mentality, obviously. But I guess in elementary school, that sounds creepy or they don't like it. Like, shut up. Maybe I said it wrong. Did you whisper it into her ear? No, maybe I screamed it or something. Did you like stroke her hair while you said it? Yeah, it was like fingering her fucking ear.

And that was it. That's the only stories. I mean, I've been suspended from school. Zach, did you ever tell the story about when you went to detention because you rode your motorcycle into class. That was back when you were always wearing like two pairs of sunglasses and you had that really badass other jacket with the spikes on the shoulders.

It's true. It was, uh, it was football class. Football and weed class. There were one class. And I basically rode the motorcycle right to her girl's pussy and she came in stilly obviously. Probably because my 12 inch dick before the motorcycle. Did you ever, uh... basically the teacher who said, I dude, I wore you with five weeds because you've been such a fucking cool piece of

bastard. You tell a story where you surfaced. And then you wrote it. Your whole motorcycle just back flipped out of window. I back flipped it exactly. And I basically fucked 100 girls that day in that minute. It was a big deal. One minute, man.

Well, you know, they all gone for 30 times each. That's not very long. They changed the school mascot to Zach on a motorcycle. They changed this mascot to be laying back with my asshole and dick exposed. Girls come all over it. All right. We're going to bounce through these as quickly as possible. We have the Bittersweet Prince asks,

if you were dating someone who revealed that they could turn into any person or creature from real life or fantasy, but had to stay that way for a year, who would you ask them to turn into? I would have to turn to myself so that I would kill that person so I could finally know it's like to kill somebody and the police can arrest me because it's me they'd be like there's no way it makes no sense

I couldn't have killed myself That would actually make a good plot to the film And then I could like people would sue I'm dead Like I could go to my own funeral Yeah I'd turn them into a genie But then a year later when they open up that grave To exhume it they'd discover it was the body of somebody else Actually just be skeleton to work it

I don't know They would exhum it I would just walk around on a different place because I'd be I'd be free I'd be off the grid man I'm dead If you fuck it if I drive a hammer through my own skull No one's gonna do that you were dating this person by the way You're a jerk I guess you weren't in love with them

You're just dating him. I'd fuck them first and then I'd I'd fuck them as me I'd like me You already said it You already said it I wouldn't fuck myself I'd be a little bitch if I fuck myself I couldn't do it'd be complaining the whole time

You'd fuck yourself and you feel so guilty and disgusted That you'd have to murder yourself I'd kill myself to get rid of the shame Yeah now what are you I'd turn them into a genie The genie from Aladdin No, not that. It's just a hot genie.

Yeah, I don't know if they actually acquire the powers, though. They just look like somebody. Yeah, but then you can keep her in the lamp and then bring her out whatever. No, you would literally be shoving a human into a lamp. Like, there would just be blood and guts everywhere. It's a really good cosplay. It's amazing prosthetics, basically. Yeah, yeah, they could look like anybody.

They didn't actually try. Otherwise, I'd be like, yeah, they turn into a solid gold brick. Yeah. And then I just sell them. It's a person or like a fictional. Yeah. And it's only one year. After the year goes, it expires.

I guess it turned them into Lord of the Rings Elf, because they're pretty high, right? Yeah. They're hot. If you like the point of ear thing. The problem is that if you make it anything to tune it, the people, they can't leave the house. Because people, scientists look fucking...

They're just glowing. They're just all they do. They do glow a little bit. They have big fucking elf ears. Wouldn't that suck at night if you're trying to sleep next to an elf and they're just glowing the whole time? Can you like turn that down and throw a blanket over your face? Your fucking Kindle off there.

Oh, it's just you. Never mind. Yeah. Put her on the couch. That's what I want. You fucking glow. You're like, for me? Yeah.

If I was dating someone and they could transform into anybody, I would ask them to transform into... Your old dog. Heidi. No. I would ask them to transform into no one. I would ask them to transform into who they are because... Oh, shut up. You know what? They're beautiful.

They're beautiful the way they are. You're really... You're fucking dogs asshole. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something about someone you're dating. I'm going to promise you one motherfucking thing. If you were dating someone and they said, hey, I can transform into anyone you want, it's a goddamn trick question. The moment you tell them, oh, I wish you could

turned into Angeline Jolie. They were like, oh, that's a great answer. And guess what? Fuck you. Go fuck Angelina Jolie. I'm out. All right. Linus,

Wedghy, hijal, the stuff. What you're fucking Linus from a fucking penis? You have Melbourne killing a Blake rung. Charlie Brown fucks your sister, your fucking fag. What are your thoughts on Westford? Your fucking dumbass hated,

great pumpkin can go suck a fucking luck. A fucking a wag, dude. 85% of Rod Tomatoes. Fuck you, Charles Schultz. Breaking the mic. You are so... Look at Building 7. It collapsed way too fast.

Debrief all out. Yeah, that's a fucking. likely story Bush and Cheney, your fucking murderers. Bush is a war criminal. Bush is a war criminal. Sorry, what are you saying? Now you got that out of your system. Linus Wedgi Hajalestead

asks, what are your thoughts on Western versus Eastern animation styles and TV shows? Both camps seem to have militant assholes completely dismissing the other. But what are your favorite qualities about both styles? Let's see what this dumb ass has to say. Okay, Western animation, great.

Family Guy, Eastern? One Punch fan. The case closed. Family Guy is superior to every fucking Japanese family guy is the one punch man of cartoons one punchman sucks dude you know something else Family Guy is the best cartoon show and by the way one punch man is ripped off family guy do you know why do you know why Brian never actually died because it's one punchman yeah Ryan just a dream but they just wanted to get ratings

people watching it again so they said Brian dies that's the only reason yeah you know it's actually kind of interesting because I do feel like um like especially in the comic book industry I know that's not the animation industry but I have seen it in some animations that the Eastern influences heavily influence the Western. Like, I'm definitely seeing a lot of, like, the anime style in Western art, even like Boondocks or something like that, you know, to a degree. It's a nice little hybrid, but who the fuck cares? Like, it's just a, hey, Zach, what's better?

Classical music or classic rock? The real, the real, it's like, what the fuck are you asking? The real, the real answer is that both Western and both Eastern have produced horrible content. Yes. And they produce great content. Yes, yes, that's it. I think if it's well-crafted, both camps have definitely kicked out shit. Like, what's Pixar?

Because technically Pixar probably has a ton of Asians working there. And I don't know that. But they've got eight billion fucking Koreans actually animating. They're best. Because it's the style and the writing, everything. All right. Yeah. I mean, it's like, it's like if you have American people working on an anime, does it make it American?

No, it just means that. I think it's about art direction and writing and directing and voice acting. I think that's what makes the show what it is. There's good and bad and all. Like, everyone knows that, though. That's just stupid, nipicky fucking... It's hard. You know what's hard is that there are so many Japanese anime series

that, of course, when a show comes to mind, I'm thinking of, you know, berserk or, you know, a lot of the old shows that I used to watch. So it's hard because I don't think there was a whole lot of long form. What do you call Avatar? Is Avatar Western or is that Eastern? It's Western, it's Western, but they're mimicking the Eastern style. Sure.

That's said, though. I can't really think of any really shitty animas because I only watched the good ones that people tell me to watch. All right, guys, we got a juicy one here, just begging for some dramas. Is it down on its knees looking up at us? This is absolutely just begging for it. Just wants to be fucking out. Licking its lips.

Connor, it's good 10th birthday party. Yeah, also, just to be clear, these aren't the questions we like answering, but we'll answer this one. What is it? Connor Gerard asks, message for all sleepy cast members, which internet celebrity or popular YouTube Newgrounds personality do you absolutely despise for how popular they are. Ony NG. Potentially someone who isn't super mainstream

like PewDiePy. First of all, I don't hate PewDiePy for being mainstream. I like it. I hate Beauty. I don't even hate PewDiePy. I think his fans, a lot of his fans are fucking idiots. A lot of our fans are fucking idiots. Absolutely. You got to ask that question. And when you have 8 billion fans, guess what? You're going to have 30 million

loud assholes that are dumb. Not to knock his question down, but I think the way it was asked is unanswerable because I don't think any of us hate anybody for their popularity. Oh yeah, I didn't even think of that. He was asking, who do you hate because of a popular? I don't hate anybody because of their popularity.

Now, the only, the only reason I'll give you, like the term hate it I never liked, right? Despise because they got, no, I. No, because look, the way I've always read it is, it's not their fault. It is not their fault. They were doing what they were doing. Even if they're pandering, people are still consuming it. It's 100, 100% of the fans, the audience, the audience, people watching it. Because without them, they would be nothing.

Without people watching, they wouldn't have an audience. So it's like that that prank guy who goes around kissing girls and molesting people on camera, there's clearly an audience for that. There's clearly so many creepy assholes or bizarre, deviance, retarded idiots. And sorry, I'm just, I'm not saying that to be insensitive. I do think that the fans of those types of videos have to be mentally retarded. To watch somebody go around molesting strangers and enjoying it and thinking that, There's either A, believing it or B, enjoying watching the-

The audience for that people for those videos are people who have never had an introduction with the fee level before. Right. Well, I can just walk up to a girl and say, hey up on the internet. Oh, but there's one person I do dislike for their popularity, and that's the spirit science guy because the fact that he's so popular is spreading this absolute bullshit, it's worrying. But even that's not his fault. Yeah, he was.

No, it's not. If he wasn't there, there would be somebody else in his place. Yeah. There's clearly an appetite for that. He's not brainwashing people. leaders of group of cults like that and it is a cult, don't be mistaken. But leaders of things like that,

people who have huge audiences like that, they're not the cause. Now, sometimes they're really talented at riling people up and putting things in a certain way to... Tell that to Jim Jones. But usually it's because people are dumb enough to believe them.

And if the people didn't believe in spirit science, they believe in the next thing. If they're not following Stalin, they're following this, you know, it's like... I agree. I think on an independent level... I mean, that's like saying, I guess Niles' kind of analogy, even though you didn't say... So my analogy to Nile's feelings would be,

that's like saying, oh, this guy is okay, even though he's a drug dealer. I'm not saying he's okay. Because somebody else is going to deal those drugs, so, you know, he's still an okay guy. You can't blame the drug dealer. You have to blame the addicts who go to him to buy drugs. What I'm saying is that,

what I'm saying is you could absolutely criticize the people on a personal basis, but what I'm saying is, it's not 100% their fault. They're not manipulating people. They're not enslaving people. No, they are. It's half at half.

They're not. It's, it's, they're a symptom of the problem, not the cause of the problem. What about the people who fake the prank videos? They know what they're doing. You don't believe that, though. You don't buy that. That's my point because you're not the audience. You're not dumb enough to believe that.

People who are dumb enough to believe one guy are dumb enough to believe the rest. That's why a lot of these big YouTubers who fake 100% of their videos, these crazy YouTube pranks for all the fucking strangers and wearing mics. They're not, they're part of the problem. But the bigger problem is that people are watching all these guys. Yeah. Nobody's educating about why that's wrong and why the people are lying. liars and why they're being scammed.

But they're like manipulating the system. I agree that it's bad, but what I'm saying is also the audience's fault. It's not purely the fault of vitally ZX with the fucking things. They know that the audience will do that, so they're going to take advantage of people. I think they're two separate things. The popularity is just a separate thing. So it's like when you talk about these things, there are YouTubers I despise and there are fan bases that I think are idiots for following these guys. But it's two separate things.

My point is that I don't hate anybody because of the popularity. Sure. All right. Sir Biggles asks, which movie production company do you like and look forward? to seeing their next movies like examples like Pixar DreamWorks or whatever I'm not really I don't really follow a lot of studios or like a lot of I don't know I don't know it's a good question I see yeah I don't know I don't know sorry not Pixar though do you look forward to that's interesting that it's like and look forward to I guess the closest thing I have to media wise is like Polblart 3 pull blurt 3 could be enthusiasm season 9 supposed to be in the work so I guess maybe that that's the closest thing I have in the studio HBO make good stuff I don't look for to everything they do you look at like there's all there's only specific programs and things that I like

not really, studios that make a variety of stuff that I could point to. I mean, even, I think there was probably a time anyone could say Pixar and go, you'd be like, oh, well, anything they do is going to be gold. Even five years ago, Pixar would have been the answer to that. What did they do that? I didn't see that's really badly, though.

I've seen the thing they didn't see inside out. It's not objectively bad, but it's just cars three. Who made cars? Oh, that was Pixar? Yeah, that was, uh... You know, it's so hard, though, with Pixar. Like, I feel bad for them because they kept raising the bar.

Yeah. They just kept raising it to the point where they raised it into a corner. Like, what could they possibly fucking do it? Yeah, they hit a ceiling at some point. Well, the last dinosaur looks terrible, but I'm just, like, I'm just... Is that picture? Yeah, I just don't like the look of it. What was the last really solid film they put out? Like, the fucking, like, besides Story 3.

Besides that. Um, because that's a given. That movie is very good, I think. Who did, who did planes? Disney. No, that was just Disney. No, that was just Disney. Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm 100% sure that one was just Disney. Fucking day because of his airplane? Who doesn't want to see that? That would be exactly Rotten Tomato Review Fucking Dane Cook is an airplane And there's be a green splat Ancient humans 5,000 years

He looked up at the stars And said, what if Daincook was a plane And it fucking became real? All right Puppie Numblies asks Did you guys have a natural talent For art before you really started animating illustration

Or did you actually start out knowing nothing And work to get where you are Me always the best of my class Nobody starts out knowing everything Not one person in the history of mankind ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever started out knowing everything. Everybody started so bad.

Some people started out on like 1% less bad. Yeah, exactly. I was a little bit better than my classmates, but I was still terrible. And people fucking bring up, like, the autistic people who can draw like a fucking city. We're talking about, like, 99% of the population who go into art. Practice makes perfect in 100% of cases. Wait, what, there's no easy, there's no, like, tutorial I can watch on YouTube. The 10,000 hour rule?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's good. You can explain it to be. who don't know. 10,000 hour rule means that if you do any one thing for 10,000 hours, you're going to become an absolute expert at it. Someone's going to be like, oh, who'd ever invests 10,000? It's like, Gil, idiot. Look at your fucking

hours you clocked in binding of Isaac and fall out. That's a very good point. Combine those, you're halfway there, buddy. You know, people have invested 10,000 hours into a whole lot of things, whether it's fucking shitting, jacking off, or playing video games. So there's no doubt that you can easily

invest 10,000. How many hours is 10,000? How many hours is 10,000? Right? Yeah, it'll take about like 10 years of like eight hours of work or some shit. No, maybe I could be completely wrong. No, it's less than a decade for sure. I'm not even going to try to do this with that. But my point is off if you draw, most people don't draw for like an hour a day.

Let's say you even do that. It's still a long time, 10,000 hours. You're always going to hate your shit too. That's the thing about being an artist. If I saw, one year ago, if I saw what I made now, my mind would be blown. But now I think what I do is like absolute fucking smeared shit on a campus. Well, no, let's just make it really simple. Really simply, if you want to do the math, 10,000 hours.

There's 365 days in a year, right? Yeah. So let's just say you did it for one hour a day. That's 365, right? Hours? 365 hours. 10 years, that would be 3,000. That would be 30 years if you do an hour today. But you wouldn't because it would be your job. So you'd probably do it. If it was 30 years, you'd probably be doing what? If you were doing five, let's say you did it three hours a day, then you cut it down by a third. So that would be 10 years. And if you're doing six hours, you cut it down, that would be five years. Right. So, I mean, essentially, if you're doing something for, you know, a chunk of a day. The point is practice. That's one word. Just practice a shit, ton.

And yeah, keep listen to listen to feedback. never say, okay, this is it, I'm good enough, because there's never place where that is. Though, if you want to be a good voice actor, just watch my tutorials, you'd be an instant classic. Yeah, Chans, asks. Any relation? If, fuck you,

if you guys could have been on the set of any movie or TV show while it was being filmed, what would it be, and why? Zach would have been on curb your enthusiasm, now it would have been on some porno set, and, uh, no, I'm kidding. What are your answers? Honestly, breaking bad.

I mean, these would be interesting just for, like, the perspective of just, just see how they do. it, but I think, I mean, Breaking Bad is so scripted. I feel like something like curvy enthusiasm, because there is quite a bit of... Yeah, I guess Kurt would be a lot more fucking spontaneous. Yeah. Or, I mean, I don't know. Obviously, it's a hypothetical that can't be real, but if you're asking if I could just walk around as a person or phone by the set.

You're in the crew. You're in the crew. Yeah, no, you beat on set. It's like, hey, we're going to hire... If you had a choice right now, somebody walked up to you, they had two contracts. Zach, do you want to be an actor? One of the main characters. I don't want to be a fucking main character. I suck it, I'd be. Fine. Would you like to be a secondary character in Breaking Bad or I don't be anything, but I'll tell you this much. I want to see it happen. You'd have to pick one of them, which one. And either breaking bad or creepy enthusiasm? Yes.

Probably breaking bad, because I feel like if I met all these, because everyone at that show is, like, really funny. Because I think if I could ask somebody's up, it's like, stuttery, like, sweat, fucking. Fucking. And you think if you weren't curbing your enthusiasm, they'd make fun of you? No, not that I'd make fun of me, but I just, I'd look like a fucking loser. Because there's stories of people that go on in the shows, and they try to be funny. It's like, okay, get the fuck off. They do that, really? Like, hey, here's my joke about the, hey, what's what the repugiesies? Ooh, get the fuck out of here, dude. You're supposed to do your lives and leave. That's what Larry David would say?

No, but my point is like, you know, these told stories about people, some people try to come in with them with a bit or try to be funny or try to be the funny one. Yeah. I'd feel like, like back to the future would be fun, wouldn't it? Yeah.

Or like, Twilight Zone would be fun. Yeah. Imagine being in the separate Twilight Zone. Just saying it kind of happened. That'd be cool, yeah. Yeah. Um, I'd say, Lord of the Rings or...

Suprap. You'd actually fit pretty well. Zach kind of had, like, this distant look at his eyes as his face, as his lips curled in to a smile. I think you'd make a good Lord of the Rings character. I'd make you good a orc.

The game from funny codcours is a fucking elf in that movie. Really? What's that to do with me? You like elves. You're from the general Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, Britain, not America, place. Oh, yeah. You just bounced. I love that. I love that map. I love if we had like a visual of a map of those countries lighting up.

They're all the same place, right? They're all white guys who sound funny. Um, I'd say, David Attenborough. What? Shows. Is that a, you be on E.B. In his house? No, no, you fucking, you're on his shows.

Because then you get to see everything else. You get to see the world. You get to see the ice caps. You get to see. You get to see. You're stuck in the fucking ice caps, though. I would love to be in a, uh, I'd love to be. Gay film, gay porn.

Gay porn, a thousand percent. Just four days. You fit in. You know those, you know those pictures where there's guys with like a hundred cigarettes in their mouth? Their mouth is like wide open and there's like a hundred lit cigarettes in their mouth. You're talking to looty toads? Yeah. Well, it also there's a picture of it.

But I would want that, but just all weener. Just a million cops? Just 10 cocks. Oh my God. That's hot. That image went burning my head. Like a gatlin gun. I thought of that way too clearly in my head.

Like my jaw splits right off my skull. Serious question. How many dicks do you think you feel about the ones? I'd say three. I'd say, well, it depends on how big the dicks are. Yeah, because you know what I'm seeing point? The average dick is like still kind of about.

Average. You want to go with average? Probably six or seven? I'd say, I'd say three. I mean, but here's the thing. Is they clearly have to be detached because you couldn't have that many pelvises all like origamied together in order for you to be able to get six sticks in your life?

I cannot get a full Subway sandwich in my mouth. I couldn't get a three. Posei? I couldn't get four dicks in my mouth. No, I'd say two and a half to three dicks I could fit in my mouth. And you could have probably two in my ass for good measure at the same time. That would be good measure. No, seriously, though, I would want to be on the set of a major animation with like lots of great fun voice actors.

Oh, here we go. Because, because. That would be fun. After, all you're going to do is record. You never have to put on a costume. You never have to put on all the makeup or like the little sensors on your face all you do is fucking walk in

you hang out, you have some coffee, you see the guys you do your lines, if you don't like the lines do it again, do it again, great, we're good and then you fucking all go to the bar and then hang out. I think it would be kind of fun to just for like the perspective of just like looking at it. It'd be fun to be in the writers who are like the classic Simpsons or classic cell park

just to see. Yeah. It's kind of a cheesy answer but I think it'd be just be just be interesting to observe. Eddie Fenton Jones asked Sodomie, yay or nay? Yay. Yeah. Dave. Wait, receiving or give? I didn't say.

Maybe it's somebody. I mean, I've never gotten anything up my butt. Yeah, I always say it's a no-go zone when they... But... But... But... I don't know. I don't know.

The closest thing I've gotten to be fucked up my ass is when I... Going to the doctor? When I wipe myself... Well, I guess I have been fingered to the ass. You have. I thought about that. Once... Was there anything remotely pleasurable about it?

No, but here's the thing, though, right? Whenever I used to wait my ass and go a little bit far, I'm like, ooh... Do you pull, like a hair out of your ass and be like, ooh... Do you're... No. What are you talking about? That happened to me a couple times. You pulled the hair out of your ass and you were like, oh, you mean like it's in your shit

And it's all the way up your butt. No, it's just in your butt. Like it's just there. It's up here. Oh my god, what are you fucking Woody doll? It found its way up there. Did you say, you catchphrase when you pulled that I did it shoot back in? There's a snake in my butt.

No, there's a hair with my ass. I just found the hairs in my ass. But you know what you wipe your ass and you go a little bit in? It's like, ooh, it's a little bit sensitive. It's like, okay, whatever. But the finger kept going. What I thought it was done, it was only halfway there. That's how fucking, I don't know how people can take tics of their ass.

Oh, God. Yeah, it felt like he was taking a ship by the reverse. Oh, I don't know. It was very unpleasant. Yeah, I'm afraid I'd like it and then you can just go wild. Nilegonwild.com. Ironically, Don't make that a thing, please.

Ironically, John McIntyre asks, are there any questions you get over and over that you just can't stand? That question. Next. Holy shit, look at this. Ellis just asked how many balls can you fit in your mouth. We answered this question without even knowing. This was the natural progression of questions.

Fuck over it, dude. Do you guys like it when a girl literally puts your entire ball sack in her mouth? Oh, yeah, I'm not a fan of when people lick my balls. Look. I like, I like it. I like, when I, I like it. Not only that, but they tend to do not just lick it. They'll like suck the side of it.

Like a, like a plastic bag. They'll be like, poop, pop, poop. I like it. I tell what they say, don't, don't go to their balls. You don't got it, all right? I don't like it. You don't like it. Let's just, just fuck to the, get to the penis.

Maybe we've met a girl who's like, no, I love licking the side of your ball sack. Balls are fucking vicary. They have ridges. There's little straight hares. There's no fucking way that licking that is pleasant at all. Unless maybe they're into the vinegar. Maybe they're even like some kind of abuse.

I like the feeling of you. If you've got a beautiful ball sack, if it's good, if it's great, it's still no good. You don't want it. I make them put, I put their hands on my ball.

Like, I make them play with them. Well, playing with them is different. And suck them. I don't even like them playing with it, honestly. Yeah, no, don't touch my balls.

We scratch it with leave alone. PSA, everyone. Don't touch Zach's balls. Dylan. Questa asks. As artists creatives, what are your guys definitions of a client from hell? What can customers do that make you want to smash your head through a fucking window? So what was the question? That was stealing like dick. I was staring in that direction and it... You were! I was staring right here and it happened to his dick. I hate when people do that when you're

staring in a direction there happens to be someone... You're not staring at you. Oh, and they think you're staring at that thing. Get your head out of your ass. I'm not staring at you. I'm looking at it. Dylan was... Dylan was asking what What is the client from hell? What is your definition of a client from hell? What do you mean? As like, if you ever taken a commission and they were a client from hell?

Yeah, I suppose. I mean, you know, I've really worked with people in that sense where I'm being paid to do something. I haven't worked with people a lot like that. But I mean,

like, I've worked with people who they'll ask for one thing and then you go, and you're like, is this okay? Is this what you want? Do you show them all you show them everything?

Or you show them the rough of the art? Yeah. And they're like, yeah, it's great. And then you spend like a week to finish it and they go, Why the fuck to do this? Redo this.

But to dig it even further, it's when they make comments like that, but they act like what they're asking for isn't a big deal. So they'll see an entire animation, right? Or you'll see an entire whatever. And they'll be like, yeah, but can we change his hairstyle? Do you know what that requires? There's just like a button that you push

that changes all the hair of every frame that you ever drew up this character. Oh, I guess if you have like some tweenie thing, then yeah, if it's all symbol-based, I suppose that isn't a big thing. For me, it's not like a groundbreaking thing, But it's like, you know, people are like, it's for exposure. That's what I'll pay you in exposure. I don't want exposure.

So, but then that wouldn't be a client. Would that still be a client, would you take that job? Hell no. Right. So they're not a client. But they would be? How big would they have to be for you to say yesterday? What if George Clooney was like, drop, draw me like Twitter editorial?

What, what would he? How would that be exposure? Like, is he going to be like credit? He tweeted. He'd be like, my friend Nile to the filer. I never thought of looking up George Clooney on Twitter, ever. Drew this picture. I don't want to care what he has to say.

Who cares what he has to say? I saw up in the air and it fucking sucks. But that's not it. It's for exposure. What did he be exposed? What if President Gerald Barack Obama fucking said, Oh,

really like your drawings. You've impressed me. I love you to draw me. My goodness. I would draw me a little. I would do that anyway. What I want is you to draw me with the finals of Freddy's because I love that game

to play it every day. It's so spooky. Every day. He just wakes up. It's part of his routine. He gets his coffee. He just, There's like a little, there's like one of those mini vases with one flower in it.

They bring him his toast with a little metal thing over the bread. And then they bring it into his office. And he's just sitting there cracking on. I just imagine him like eating fucking Cheetos. Pride nights of Freddy's running away from animatronic wolves. And his jammies. Yeah. The fucking redfoits ring.

He's got the fucking creeper Minecraft jammies on. Yeah, he's one of those like little hats that you know his jammy, like long Santa hat. What do you mean? They're said of nukes. Listen, I'm trying to kill this creeper. You're not in a house owner. I'm trying to find diamond armor. You're bothering me.

Cold black, there's an Enderman. Let's just do one more. One more question. We're all getting sleepy here, guys. It's the real sleepy cast. Zach, do you like that one? You wonder what we call it Sleepycast. Go to sleepycast.com for more jokes.

That's our new slogan. The wave so hard. Leave all that as it is. All right, guys. And with our final question of the evening, before we wrap this motherfucker up, We got Justice Thompson. Do you think that's a real name, Justice?

Are people named Justice? Dude, if I was, my name was Justice. Or this Justice. If my name was Justice, I would become a doctor. So I would be Doctor Justice. Dr. Justice. Fuck yeah, dude. That's a great, that's a great hero name.

I would just be calm. Does that exist? No, I would just become a doctor. It almost sounds like a fake hero from like the Bart Simpson show or something. Yeah, I'm Dr. Justice. I would just become a doctor. The law of goodness shall prevail. What would you do if you were doctor?

you suck if you fucking botched a surgery though. That's suck, dude. That would suck. Yo, listen, so Justice, if that's your, if that's your real name, fucking liar. Since you're all old and fought in World War II, ha ha, ha, ha. Oh god, did you all learn cursive writing in school? That's, that's pretty serious though. Fucking, calling us all, dude, it'll happen to you.

No, no, I'm curious. Are you all? Are you all? Fucking 20s, or is that old though? I am, though. I'm like 55, but you guys. You're 34. Yes.

Wow. You remember, I'm impressed. You still look like you're young, but once you get to about 42, I'm just gonna crash. That's when you start looking. I'm gonna do that Asian thing where they look really young and then all of a sudden it's like, there's that age, it just happens somewhere. No, if you went to Asia, you look about 60 because... And you just flip, it just, you fucking, you just break. Your face breaks off your skull.

Age, it goes to like 38, they just heard the fucking old like witches. Yeah, they lose all their teeth in the night. Yeah. Anyways, so I'm curious though, did, did you all learn cursive writing in school? Well, I did. I write in cursive and get shit from it from people. people in America. I don't really use it though. I love writing in full on caps, all caps. Wait, what's it? I can't read the last time I wrote cursive. Yeah, but did you learn it in school? I learned it, yeah, but the thing was...

It's not something you learned, though, right? I learned it, but I learned it, but who fucking uses it? Like, you do it for your signature? And I'm not being purposely, like, like, proud to be ignorant, but, like, realistically, what do you have to use cursive for? In fact, when you, when you go, in full applications, then they say print only, people require you to print. There's not a lot of things you use cursive for. It's a great school to have, but... Skill? You call it a skill? It's a skill. You have to know how to do it, but like... Would you put that skill next to like juggling? No, no, it's at the very bottom. Or CPR. I just write like, I don't like go.

When do you ever need cursive? Give me one instance. I don't need it. I just write in cursive instinctively. That's how I write. Oh, you do naturally write in cursive. It's annoying and you have to fucking squint to look at it. It's like, oh, okay, that says Apple. Sweet took me five seconds to read cool. Yeah, I write in all caps and I have done that for many years. You fucking retarded? That's what like an actual retard would do.

Have you seen my journals? My journals and stuff? FG. Wow. Nile, calling me retarded? Yeah, that's you. You're right. But are people forced to learn that

in school now? Yeah, but I remember even as I was... So, yes, they are forced to learn it today or not? Well, that's the thing is. I haven't been in school in a while, but I... It looks nice.

When I was elementary school, middle school, elementary school specifically, I remember kids with things, like, well, we don't need a learned person because people have cell phones and stuff now, and we're not going to need to know this

or whatever. And all the teachers are like, you're going to have to know a person or you're not going to get in college. What? They told us that. type, nobody fucking writes, they type it out now. Right.

Look, it's one of those, it's like, it's like, it's like a dead language. It's like, okay, it's nice and it's fancy. What's weird to me is like we've got computer programs now that can write in cursive, right? They're beautifully. So we've got these programs that can do it. Not only can we do it with ease, but even with that ease, nobody wants you to do it. No. Nobody's ever like, send me in that report.

Make sure you use that cursive font. Like, you know what is the fucking use? It's stupid. It's squiggly writing. And as far as signatures are concerned, why? Why? Why did we subscribe? to that. Oh, well, I never write in cursive for my signature. It's like, dude,

just make up your own fucking sick. Draw a wiener with feet. I don't fucking care. Whatever. Why does it have to be cursive? Except for Nile, who actually does write in cursive. I can't help it. It just comes out that way. And you call me retarded. No, like, I could if I wanted to write in print, but I just don't think about it. I just write in cursive. It's how it was brought up.

Is it how you think? Do you dream in cursive? No. I don't dream about anything that makes sense. I dream about complete, I can't even describe it. Just complete chaos. It doesn't make any nonsense. Nonsense. fucking. Total nonsense? Nonsense? All right. Now, we have to wrap this up. Can you do me a favor? Yeah. Can you describe any dream that you recently had? Just go into it. Even if it doesn't make sense.

You know what? In fact, here we go. Here we go. Without thinking, I don't want you to even think about sentient structure. I just want you to think of your dream. Say the words. Yeah, just literally mind vomit a dream that you had. I was crawling in the grass and then these terrorists were trying to come and get me. And then my dad was pouring beer from the beer farm. And then a big fucking helicopter. I tried to befriend the guy who, no, it was a airplane, but I was a Ferrari airplane and I told me to take me to Texas. Then I didn't think the terrorists were going to come there. I was like, oh shit, I had to try. I was like, should I go and save him?

And I was like, but I might get caught again. And I was like, okay, I was going to save my dad. Then I got caught again. I was like, fucking. I didn't know that I was just a prison. On the beach. The airplane. To get out of there.

And him and my dad went into Texas. Let's all go to get real suicide.