SleepyCabin - SleepyCast S2:E9 - [Dear Annie Johnson]

Episode Date: January 16, 2016

Cory returns from Missouri with tall tales of jaguars, Jesus, and stinky-ass hippie jerks! Meanwhile Shad recounts how his ass and wallet were plundered by Swiss cons, while Jeff and Mick recount doing dirty donuts in the school parking lot. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Your hosts for the evening: Ricepirate (www.youtube.com/ricepiratenewgrounds) JohnnyUtah (www.johnnyutah.newgrounds.com) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/user/Spazkidin3D) With Special Guest: Shadman (NSFW - www.shadbase.com) Podcast editing by: Niall - Initial edit Tom Ryan - Main Edit (@tomrmusic) Ricepirate - Final pass +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Shane Danells . Ryan Pagonis . Jace Baker Denis DeLong . Liam Staley. Skooks Sonny Canchola . Susparty . Paul Raymond Lucas Boucher . ubernoobinator . Travis Wager Windmill Punches . Corbin Record . Dean Borris Andrew Dore . Elecktricd00m . Bill Zhuang Dani Rucker . Dazzanator . Conner St. John Phillip Tafoya . Richard Hunt . Hudson Heitmeier Sam Child . Yuval Birenzweig . Prosecutor Jeff Thomas King . Chaney Rockwell . Jacob Arends Andreas Tautra Sylte . Steven LeBlanc . James Vilhelmsen Darren Moyer . Jesse Gomez . Father Ocrifha +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

There is a world as tangible as our own. Impossible to see yet. Unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Very deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin. It's a bunch of guys.

He's a bunch bullshit. Uh, welcome to Sleepy Cabin Season 2, Episode 9. Yeah. With my friend... Shad? My other friend. Hi, I'm Jeff. And my third friend, Mick.

And I just got back from a two-week vacation in Missouri and Illinois. I felt like forever. I got to admit that. We missed you. Thank you. Let me tell you something. It's something I say by accident, but I say a lot of really stupid stuff. It's like my coreisms, as it's been quoted.

But I say Illinois and it pisses Lexi off. Yeah, but do you do it intentionally? No, completely by accident. Because I'll say, we're going to Illinois. And then I'd be like, oh, we're in. Illinois's and it's just a funny final thing you did but you sort of add s's to a lot of words I do I'm on the verge of having a list but it's not even a list is literally you like just adding the word here's an S I like to think that there's more of like every word I say yeah it's really

spelled with an S yeah yeah so it kind of makes sense that you would think you know the problem with the English language there's a lot of really strange words we have and like there's a lot of words that are said a same way and places in like Japan is like spoken one way. But like you say like there, there, there, there's like, four different there is, but it all means the same. There's like that for like, like, we take away letters sometimes, like Illinois isn't there, it's Illinois. Okay, before it gets mad, they don't mean the same thing. No. But I mean like they sound the same, I guess. They don't mean the same thing because there's like ownership and describing something. How many? Which words do we have now? Too many. Especially with the urban dictionary rolling around.

And we also have constantly making up words. I love the urban dictionary. There's like one word that bothers me. It's like 16th. You mean like the fraction? Yeah, like the 16th of something. It's such a weird and strange word. It's also a weird number. If someone's using 16th as a measurement. If you're the 16th of something.

Yeah, unless you're like an architect or something, I don't understand why you'd even be using that measurement. We just need to be like 16. I'm sorry, what? 16. 16. No, I'm sorry, what's the logic of that? 17, 16, 18.

18. 20. You need your own, 19. You need your own shoot off of English. like Switzerland has Switzerland has Switzerland has Swiss-German you have Corey English

How did you pronounce baloney? Bologna? No, there was one I remember Oh no He said Cologne Colognet

Cologne I said Cologna Because that's how it's directly spelled And I sometimes I spell words directly I don't know what it is My brain doesn't work like others

You know it's interesting though We've never had a situation Where we didn't actually understand what you were saying But if I said what the fuck is is Calagney What would you think at that point I would know

what you were talking about. Do you know what I thought it was? I went out to a dinner party. I didn't have enough Kalagni. I stank like a horse. Do you know what I thought it? What? What did you think was? I wouldn't say that because I know what the word fucking cologne means. I'm not going to be like... Oh, just when you read it? You were like, what is this? What's this a lot? Why do I need this on this salad? I fucked up a word on an episode like 12 ago and

somebody, like 300 people called me out in the comments. Is it because you said it numerous times? I knew better. I knew better, but for some reason, I don't say the word enough, so I just visualize it in my head. I just immediately said it the way it was spelled. Oh yeah, there's like 100 English teachers. This is some foolish. I feel like it's not so bad of it if you drop it once. Like the ear pricks up.

But it's when you're talking about a topic and you just keep saying it. It's like taking a hammer and just nailing it further and further into someone's head every time you say it. Well, there's one word I don't understand why it's spelled a certain way it's spelled. Colonel? No, the word a lot.

Okay. Always call me out for that word. And I have the same thing. Yeah, but it should be one. I totally agree. A lot? There is also... There are so many people who, like, call me out for it.

They're like, are you retarded? It's a lot. Well, there is another word. There is the word to a lot. Exactly. Right. That's another point. Like, to allocate.

What about a fucking lot where you park your car or put shit? A lot. A lot. It's like, yeah, but it's a lot for a lot of stuff. This is why I fucking English language needs a little tweaking. A word I always misspell. I've been misspelling my entire life is weird. Weird?

I mix up the eye and the ear. Yeah. Really? Yeah. It's wired. I spelled like W-I-E-R-D and it's E-I. But it just doesn't look right to me. The funny thing about the word weird, this is gonna be super nerdy, is that the old English

spellings are like W-Y-E-R-D. Like there's so many different spellings of the word weird. So you can't really blame, can't blame Jeff. So people out in movie land, if you can put in your weird words and like words that are spelled weird, put them in the comments section. Because I'm curious to see more. I have one, which is very notorious. Which one?

Spell tongue. I fucking hate the word tongue. Okay, get your spelling shit figured out. Everybody does. Oxford. Whoever wrote tongue? You have to get an Oxford. Stamber called me out for spelling the word ridiculous wrong for, he said, oh yeah, you've been spelled that wrong for the last decade.

I can't have spelling that wrong. Oh, do you spell it with an E? Yes. Oh, no. Do you know how I used to... I didn't realize. I didn't realize. Do you know how I used to spell rough?

Don't. Don't. Don't even... Are you... No, you did it. Like, yes, if you watch, that's because you watch, you watch Simpsons, you'll see Duff beer. You're like, that's rough. No, it's not it.

It's because it's so much easier to spell what the actual word is, because it's like, through, though, rough. And you don't think of that. You're just like, rough is just hard. It's like, yeah, no, it's like you were saying. There's like kids who learn spelling from, like, Tom and Jerry, like, when you see, like, they're really poorly written letters, and you're, like, trying to, like, they spell cat with a cane and shit. I do it so much, too. And I always, and this is something I shouldn't be doing.

And it's, I learned eventually that there are and there. I've learned that. I've mastered that. Sometimes I fuck up, but for the most part, I can figure it out. But now I lose my fucking mind and put commas everywhere. I don't even know where commas is supposed. I say a word, comma, word comma, comma at a random. It's like, that's where the period goes.

And then you do a capital letter. I'm like, no, it's still a run-on sentence. There's commas to go. There's people that overuse comma, under-use commas. There's people who use quotes too much. They just start quoting random words. sentences for no reason. Oh yeah, this is like,

this is like saying like I was going to the store to the store. I was going to a store. He literally went to the store though. They say that it's like a buildup like I was going to the store and guess what I ran into it? It's like, were you at home? You know another thing I find kind of strange is that

how the English language has certain words that are spelled the exact same way. Yes. But they just choose it pronounce and different. Yeah. You know like Yale University is jail. It's spelled the exact same way. Yes. Wait, what? No, it's not.

Yes, it is. What? I thought yeah. Spell Yale and spell jail. Oh, O-O-O-O-O-J-I-L. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

What the fuck? I know you're not out. What? I thought it was Y-A-L-E. No, it is. What? Shad's just, Shad's being German. He's being Swiss-German.

But I got it. He just spelling trolled you, dude. You got it. No, I didn't troll him. He got it. I won that. He won that third-grade spelling. But there's also regional dialects.

Like, I get upset of my family members. Like, I say car wash. Thank you. Rather than... Then there's people in upper New York state, they'll say car wash. Corwarsh? Yes. I was just talking to you.

It was like... Or water versus water. Like, a lot of my family members say water instead of water. Right. You know, like, Pokemon? I always say Pokemon. And I can't help... It's not a word, though.

Like, Pokemon. But the term, people are you supposed to say Pokemon? Because it's pocket monsters. Yeah. But I say fucking Pokemon. Like polka? I say Pokemon. But it's not.

It's Pokemon. Like pocket. But it's poca. It's so weird. I hate the word. You say Mario. And I say Mario. I've never said Mario.

You and Tom say Mario. Yeah. I say Mario. But it's like, you mean the same fucking thing. But you know how wrong that is, right? Like, it's not M-E-R-I-O. Because it would be like M-A-R-R-R-I-O.

I don't say Mario. Yeah, Mario. Yeah. Like, Merry Christmas. That's with a neat. But then if we spell M-E-R-R-R-O. The only thing that I would think was passable besides Mario would be Mario. Like Pat.

Mario. But it's Italian. You have to, Mario. Mario. Yeah. Mario. Yeah, that's to correct. Every time you say Mary,

I love your Italian accent. He says Mario. You disrespect. I wish you always had an Italian accent. He says, Mario. He doesn't say Mario. He says Mario. That's Luigi, actually.

Luigi says Mario. He doesn't say Mario. He says Mario. He's like, Mario. All right, wait. Who are the two main guys in the street fighter? Name them. I'm going to say Ken and Ryu.

Ken and Ryu. I say Ryu. I say Ryu. But that's another thing. Some maniacs call him Roo. What? Rue. Wow.

I bet their fucking hipster fedoras are just huge. I've always said Rye. No, God, they work for Capcom. You've actually worked on the game. You know what? And then he got fired. Fuck that asshole. Weird.

It's like that one guy, which I don't understand. And I'm for what people have always said, you know, the term Jiff. He says it's GIF or GIF. Yeah, okay. That's fucking. No, I say GIF. I say GIF. I say GIF.

I say GIF. I say GIF. If it was GIF. it'd be fucking Jif peanut butter, moron. It's not spelt the same way. It's not GIF peanut butter. And I'm retarded, so fuck you. There's no reason it should be called Jiff at all.

That's like such a programmer, such a no common sense programmer thing to say. The SWF files. Do you know people who say Swift? I heard that. I've heard SWF. I can't say SWF. I can't say SWIF. I can't say SWIF.

I can't bring myself to say SWIF. Yeah. It's like I don't say JPEG. You call FLA's flaws. Yeah. Yes, I do. Do you really? Yeah, on occasion.

Oh my God. But I mean, FLAW. Like how smuggies? He's like, yeah, yeah, I do. But it means the same thing. It's not saying Giff or Giff. Can you just say my flaw file? Everybody needs a little flaw.

No, can you export it out to a SWIF? I'm not like this to Jeff. I'm like, hey, Jeff, I'll give you the flaw. Can you give me the SWIF? Can you me the SWIFE? I'd smack a glass of your face. Give me the flaw, please. Fired.

You say PSD. PSD? Yes, I say PSD. So the website. the website where people post popular photos or rip other people's cartoons and put them into gift sets is called Imager or Imager

I say Imger I say Imger I've heard ingur I say Imger It's Imager but I say Imger sometimes In my head I think imager I always say Imager I know I always say it's ingur but I yeah I guess they do say imager more

And people are like it's Unger It's like it's not okay you can go eat your fucking Zah Would you have been like one website Where people share like their flip Flash videos has like a tank as a logo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you pronounce it? Fucking shit.

Oh, wow. I just joking. I just fucking. Look at it. I don't even think Jeff. What a jerk. I'm just joking. I love Newground. You know, not to get

racially insensitive around here, but there's like the letters for the sign Newgrounds. I'm just going to say every single time Shads here, he puts a big smile on his face. He walks over to the letters and rearranges them into racial slurs.

Negrown. You guys can figure it out, I'm sure. I missed it. Didn't you say something in the last podcast, something a little little... You do know I'm half black. I can throw the word around.

He can say the N-Word. It's one of those... You said, you said, filthy N-word, I believe. I can say, I can say filthy N-word. I can say, you're giving yourself a free path. Of course. I have a black card.

You want to see it? You don't look black enough. I don't even look black enough to be able to do that. Nigg, I'm going to take away your black card. I never had to begin with. I don't think I've ever heard you say,

niggit. I don't think I've ever heard you say, same out of shoots him, that's funny though. What's his name? Chad Warden. Yeah, sorry. You know, Chad Warden, remember him?

I remember that. He's like, I shoot some, yeah. Yo, what's a, what's a Swiss derogatory term for Germans? Germans. I actually can't, Nazis. Is that what? You just call them all Nazis? That's a bad word for them.

See, I can shit on Germans because I'm German. Don't you call him Idgets? Idget? That's a water person term. He doesn't understand these things. What does that from? I've never heard that. I know, I made it up.

It's an American colloquialism of idiot. You know what I used to say to kids in class? What? Like, it actually sounds much worse, the way you say it. Okay. I used to call people learning disability. Oh, wow. But I would say, like, you're LD.

Right? Like, you're fucking LD. But that has so much negative derogatory behind it. It just makes it sound like a fucking insult. Like, if I go, you're a really LD, they'll be like, well, I'm telling the teacher because that's an insult. Anybody's, like, learning disabled. There's literally no phrase you can even call them anymore.

Even though retard means idiot, a mouth-breathing, dribbling, baby-faced retard? Can I say that one? Is that what's still available? Fucking mongoloid. I can hear the rumble of the tumblers coming through your head, dude. Whatever, dude. Like, the mongloid 101 is written on the door or something. Can you guys think of, like, one of the most offensive word someone could call you,

but it has to be a single word. A liar. That's a good word. If somebody meant it and straight up said that that's what I was, I would try to stay as calm as possible. But it depended on how, like, vehement they were about it. Like, if I really thought they thought that, and you could see it in their eyes, you know, like their eyes are kind of glistening with sincerity.

Like, big eyes, I'd fucking, I'd be pissed. Kind. You, liar. Honky. I don't know. I don't know. What do you mean? Who fucking cares?

When someone says, I'm wrong. Oh. That sets me off. Yeah. I don't realize it until much later, then I'm like, oh, well. I always thought, I see, because I thought it was Olaf. I thought that was the word that sent you off. Olaf.

No, that's just, that's just a waste of letters. It's not sent anyone off. What about you, Shed? Human. Oh, my, you know, I thought you guys were asking a real question. This is a real answer. People got you an edge lord, edge lord. Human.

What did you just call me? Edge lord. What about a meme? I just said. Get out of here. Your big old smile. Okay. You can't hide it.

So we pretty much knock the fucking. dictionary off about words. You know, I think that the thing about words that really bothers me more than anything else is the people that care so much that they feel the need... It's not even the need to correct you. Okay, look, if people want to correct you, that's one thing.

Okay, it's like, oh, you know, like, they mention it in passing, you know, that's one thing. But I feel like they straight up, climb up, like, 40 steps to the top of their pedestal, their ivory pedestal, like they're the fucking king of words. It's just like, dude, seriously,

Who fucking cares? It's like... When I make a post or something on Twitter, so to say, I know it's weird where all this stuff comes from on Twitter where I have to spell and there's hardly any good...

I purposely misspell shit on Twitter. But on Twitter, I mean, I have 140 characters and you know, I'm not gonna write complete sentences all the time. But when I'm like saying something like, oh, I really like this movie, I really like this game,

or I really like this or something or something's bothering me. And then somebody will be like a word asterisk or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, dude, come on. I'm just trying to say something and I don't need a fucking

grammar teacher to fucking be there. I can understand if you're doing it like somebody's insulting you and you use it as like a your asterisk and you fucking own them. But this isn't that case. I'm just trying to talk. This is the most teen girl thing. Do you mean own or pun them?

Own. I like own. I like own. Got it was always lameish. Sorry, you were saying. I was saying this is like the most teen girl thing that goes through my brain but like when I post, let's say I post a piece of art on Twitter and I say something and then immediately gets a of favorites and retweets and then I noticed the misspelling yeah and I'm just like fuck I do the same thing I'm the same way when I sometimes you know when I write like comic panels

yeah and I crop something put it like as like a preview it's for people can check out the site yeah and that part where I cropped it's like misspelled and you're saying something really cringy and it makes you look like I'm autistic you know the delete button I'm like you know there's a real easy solution to that it's do a lot of misspellings intentionally all the time So when you actually write something and misspell something, you can just chuck it up to being a shitty speller. I went through this weird phase where I was capitalizing words constantly. Do you know what that is? What is that a phase?

It passed by. I was writing a letter to my grandma. And you know how on the computer, I generally like, I don't capitalize words. And I don't capitalize names. I'm sorry, I always forget. Like, I try to capitalize specific words. But when I was writing to my fucking grandma, it looked like a psycho wrote it. I was writing it and I had every single other word capitalize.

I had T's and random E's capitalized And I'm like, she's gonna look at this and like Think I'm troubled Because I can't fucking And not only that I didn't know what you're right She's gonna circle every capitalized letter And try to like spell out what you really meant I was so I'm like

Rearrange all the letters into Corey's Yeah so I'm like hi grandma it's been a while And like everything is capital except for Ben And hi and she's just like She'll look at this and be like What the fuck? I would love to see those letters and mail them to police Not only that but my

The forensics guys like we have to find this man immediately. Not only that, but I can't like run on the straight lines and the shit sort of like curving and it's like, I haven't done this until. He's writing like spirals and shit? He's kind of like a scary serial killer but he hasn't actually hurt anybody yet. No, I can't I'm like the starting out, the first signs

of like a crazy... But do you mean like that guy who ate those two kids and then like wrote a letter to their parents how he enjoyed eating them but he's sorry. I was thinking of that example specifically. When did that happen? I forgot his name something with fish as the last name. And he like... Phil?

No, no, no, Phil. That's the only name that comes to my mind. He got really angry on Twitter because people were making fun of his game. They said it wasn't... They said it wasn't as good as he thought it was. He got so angry, he deleted his Twitter account and went out and ate two kids.

Then made a game about it. A fucking text adventure. No, but he wrote like a letter to their parents describing how like he enjoyed the boy's ass the most. Like when he ate it. No. No, this is real. This is real.

Why do you keep pointing to Jeff. I know that Jeff enjoys good food. You know, speaking about restaurants, I took... There's like spive or spy I talked to this. I talked to this to you, Mick. And this is something that bothers me. It's almost like a Seinfeld fucking Larry David moment. Yeah. It was just, it's always something

on the back of your mind that you're just like, why does this happen? Like, you go to a restaurant and let's say you order something like fucking spaghetti or steaks or stuff that's going to get all over your face. Right. It's not because you're a messy eater. It's just their sauce. There's a lot of stuff going on. Yeah. And they give you one fucking napkin. Yes. And it's just

like, here's your water, here's your napkin, and then they leave, and it's just like, by the end of it, your napkin is just brown and orange. You don't want people to see it, and you're rubbing gunk on your face again because you're still fucking using the same napkin. Every corner of the napkins eaten up. So if you had to take a shit, and they just hand you like one single sheet of toilet

paper, and they're like, all right, good luck. And I'd be like, no, give me four at least. You don't know what happens afterwards. Some restaurants are definitely criminally under napkin you. Yes, and I know. And then when you ask for it, you feel like such a sloat. It's not even like a thick, hearty nap. It's a very thin, like, paper.

You go to fucking diners, and, yeah, it's like toilet paper. And they put it on the table, and you're just like, this is, you know, I can go to Dunkin' Donuts down the street and get more, like, satisfaction out of their fucking... Yeah, for another napkin, everyone in the restaurant just, like, looks at you and, like, ugh, they're all disgusted at you. And it's like, oh, here you go. That really is, like... Clean yourself up, crazy.

And I'm just like... It is, and it's something that bothers me. It's like this tiny little thing. But it bothers me. It should bother everybody, because when you eat food, you're not, like, one napkin. will you put one in your fucking lap if you got one? I don't know. Have you ever seen,

every single time I see those movies of like those dainty gentlemen like in those English movies. It's like they have one little handkerchief and they have like one finger. They just dab the corners of their mouth. What kind of movies do you watch? Fucking Downton Abbey, the show. That one fucking thing.

I don't even know. One finger. Between blowing guys. You like to shut up. I pulled my head up from their lap just so I can catch those scenes, my favorite scenes. My favorite scenes. I was watching a porno and a girl got splashed in the face would come,

and then a napkin came in and dropped her face while she's just still enjoying her going. I don't think that's wrong to say. I came up from the bottom of the screen, just like, that's what I'm saying. A finger puppet. Somebody take a porno of a girl getting a facial and do one of those Photoshop tricks where they're putting napkins on their face afterwards. No, the thing they do most in those often, the thing that I noticed most is they used to do a cutaway,

and it's just gone. Like, clearly there was a cut here, and then everyone got cleaned up. The makeup's back on. The cushions are all back on the couch. Everything got reset just for the end. I'm usually turning the porno off once the combe starts on. Are you a coma folk? I don't like when they're like splattered.

That's just, okay. So tell us, sorry. Jeff, why do you disgust it by nature? Just leave me alone. I don't care anymore. Okay. Corey, your trip. I'm sorry.

How is your trip? I derailed it. Well, first of all, I want to do an disclaimer. I might yell because I'm fairly angry. about this trip, but I'm angry about certain things, and I'm angry about services I accepted, and I'm angry that they still do it this way, but I'll get into that. But I'm just, disclaimer, I may get angry. I'm very curious. So, me and Lexi, we went to Missouri to visit my mom. She's like a recent, like, seventh day Venice, is that what it's called? Basically, she believes

everything in the Bible. Okay. She believes there's going to be a thing in the future where they're going to pass a law, where you have to go to Sunday church, or they're, they're gonna, basically you're not gonna be able to buy or sell. So you're not gonna be able to be a human being. You're basically like, you don't go Sunday. Well, you're grounded from life that day. What the hell happens on the grounded day? Well, you can't buy her cell and you're like, she also says that Jesus will come down and he'll be like touching people and like, you know, healing them, but Jesus is not supposed to touch the ground. His feet never, never touched the ground. And if he does, that's Satan. Yeah. This is all stuff my mom taught me. And I learned about the story

of Adam and Eve because I never knew it. And now he's wearing, if he's wearing Nike's sneakers and they have very thick souls does that count as you touching the ground and he's not on his fucking like youth cloud then yes I would love I would love to wait are you saying if he's not in the cloud like the Mario guys who like throw the spiky ball

he's gonna come down with angels upon him and he won't touch the ground because he because it the ground he'll have a fishing rod he doesn't touch ground he's like above ground because he's sacred so he doesn't want to touch Satan has corrupted earth about the ground now Satan has corrupted earth

then he won't touch ground. Got it. So what if Satan, though, isn't touching ground? Satan touches ground. He controls her. He can't. This is all stuff I learned from my mom. How much about Satan is literally,

how much is actually in the Bible? I've read that there's not really that much about hell and Satan really even in the Bible. No, she says that. It's just sort of made up, somebody read Dante's Inferno, and they're like, this is what hell is now. But my mom believes there isn't a heaven in hell.

What happens is you're corrupted by Satan, and you believe that there's a heaven in hell. But what really happens is you're kept there until the rapture and you're left there with Satan. You don't go anywhere. Like you stay there and the ones who are good are brought to the utopia where everything is perfect and pure. That's what she believes.

And I was like, okay, let's get this stuff out. I don't know. I don't even... Like, she's sending me pamphlets with golden cities and people in white coats laying with lions. Sounds a little insane if you ask me. I was saying the pamphlets. I was going to say that sounds a little sacrilegious to lay with the lion.

That sounds very sexy. Well, it's like, no, it's like the lions where the lions where the lions eat, because they say the reason why there's murder, death, famine, all this stuff is because Eve ate the apple and tricked Adam into eating it too. She's trying to convince you, though, and that caused sin. She's actually trying to, like, she's sending you pamphlets that are convincing you. Well, she thinks the Bible is real, and I just think it's a book of morals. Do you sure she's not just lying?

Well, here's the thing, and it's kind of funny, because I was watching Cable Guy with Lexi, there's this scene where the cable cuts, and all these people are sitting there in the fucking TV dinners and, like, in their, like, football, Jersey's about ready to watch that bar, you know, that like cliche thing where everyone's at the bar. Yeah. What happens is there's this one guy who's watching TV and he's just like, like the TV goes out, then he looks to his side and there's a book and he grabs a book and starts reading it. And that's exactly how my mom became into religion, how she is now.

The TV went out and she started reading the Bible. And then she was converted. And she looked in, and my mom's a conspiratorist theory, so she looks into theories. So she sees stuff in the Bible and she sees stuff that people say on DVDs about real life. and she's like, it's all true, it's all true. It's so weird because I feel like, I mean, certain conspiracy conspiracies I feel like, you know, you can see the ridiculous nature of this, but you can also see the tie-in with certain things, you know what I mean?

But with a lot of religious stuff, I feel like the amount of information opposing the logical connections that you could possibly make for religion, I feel like there's just such a disproportionate balance. Like, you could pull out a few facts here and there and tie them together to justify certain like Noah's Ark is up in some fucking mountain or whatever. But you could, there's like billions of facts that would totally just wash that away. That's a metaphor. You like that?

They would wash away in a flood of fucking logic. People, the conspiracy people, they love knowing something you don't. They love knowing secrets. And they love passing it on to you. So it's like, oh, you didn't know this? You don't know what you know. You know, this is where Noah's Ark is. You know, I see this, we're looking rock on the top of this mountain.

You know, that's, and they feel like, you know, well, I know. nobody believes me, but I know it, they don't. I don't know. You know what's weird, though, is like a lot of times when they get information like that, when it doesn't change their minds. Like, you know, like, there was all of, like, the, every single time there's the apocalypse guys

or, like, the World Ender guys, who are talking about, oh, it's going to end it this time, on this day, and this place, and everybody gathers, they all give this person a ton of money, and they're all ready to die. And it doesn't happen. And like, oh, shit, oh, you know what, I misread it.

It's actually in another month or whatever. It's like, how do people not just absolutely lose full credibility at that point. It's like they believe so hard that even if you gave them, even if you proved them that what they thought was right is wrong, they will still somehow spin it to

continue to believe. I think what it really comes down to is people would like to think that there's more to life than what you have. Of course. No. That, yeah. Yeah. I also believe it's a common thing that like the sensual nylization. I can't say the word. Sensilization of disaster. Centralization? No. Sensational.

Sensational. Sensationalism? Yeah, of disaster. Yeah. I couldn't say the word. But that is like a common thing you see throughout humanity. They love making a sensation out of disaster. People have such short attention spans, too,

because if you want to look up something interesting, go to Wikipedia and look up the amount of end-of-the-world dates that have been announced over the last few centuries. There's like hundreds of them. Hundreds. What's the most recent one 2012, I believe? There was ones even after that. Yeah, there was probably one in 2000.

Because then they were trying to say that the calculations were wrong due to leap years or whatever the fuck. There was that goof. What was that goofy? Yeah, not too long ago. There's a guy who based, you know, these guys who somehow figure out math equations from the Bible. They put together dates and numbers and somehow, oh, it's like June 6th, 2015.

Oh, because the Hebrew language is based on numbers. Yeah, and they'll try to use, like, topical events to prove it. Like, see, you follow this trail of events of wars that happened in the Mideast. I've seen people around here. They used to have this date shit written on the side of the van. Like, the end of the world is coming this date. And they know these, these followers, they sell all their belongings. And they're like, well, I'm just going to.

wait a few weeks and that'll be that and then there'll be that and nothing happened. Yeah, and then you see that van a year later and he's painted over one of the numbers with a new number. Yeah, exactly. What was I talking about? You were talking about your mom,

you were talking about her religious conversion. Yeah, and my, what the... You were at the dinner table and she just couldn't stop talking about reptile Obama. Yeah, but my stepdad, my stepdad also, like he's a... I don't know what you call it, but it's like a new type of thing. It's like the new age kind of.

He believes in the new age faith, I think it's called. Is it the New World Order? No, it's not the New World Order. It's not Jordan D. level. I don't know, man, seventh day Venice already sounds pretty out there for me. Listen, yeah, I mean, but it's also like, it's, to give you a general idea of what she, so she believes that the first day is Sunday and the last day is Saturday. And that's what she says was in the original Holy Bible. And that has been completely misconstrued by everybody else.

Oh, because of the Sabbath? Keep the Sabbath holy, which is Saturday. Yes. I heard that. Yeah. And so that's why she goes to church on Saturday. And she's like, because I don't want to be, I believe in everything. It then has been changed.

That is very, that is actually a fact, though. But see, like, when people make changes like that, what, what are you saying to everyone who was doing it before? Like, everyone before, the billions of people before you were all wrong? Well, the thing is what happened was, it was, like. I'm just saying it kind of undermines the other religious people that I guess you'd kind of consider yourself related to. Well, this goes back in the fucking, like, the Renaissance, like, the Crusades and you. where they changed it like Sunday because like... When the hell did the seven-day week even start?

Of all like the things and the... Because God created Earth and heavens and hells or... But... But it did it actually... Pre-God because there's a lot of like... What are those? Like, those old Nordic gods? Like Thor and all those.

Like Thursday. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. So that existed before the Christianity. Look, I don't know exactly what it is. And I am, believe it or not, completely ignorant into the idea of what I'm talking about,

but this is what I was told. Oh, no, no. And it may be a little foggy, and I may be getting some stuff's wrong, so people in the comments will probably hear it out. I actually think that's more interesting to hear not their side of the story, but to hear what you heard.

Like, you're sitting there across the dinner table just being inundated with this shit. I'm curious what you actually walk away with. This knowledge. Interesting, even though I know it's all religious bullshit, I'm really interested in it. Yeah, no. I should read off some of those pamphlets.

I got pamphlets and, like, DVDs, like the New War of Order and stuff, And she has DVDs that talk about years of stuff. Like, you know, with the Crusades where they, like, they killed people who didn't believe in religion? Yeah. And then they made something. Well, they killed a lot of Muslims then, right? Yeah. And then that's, like, they created, like, all these, like, religious figures.

And then people started, like, ruined, fucking up religion. And, like, you know, like, how... There's also this other thing. Okay, I'm going to get into another story. There's a guy. I think his name was Paul. Where he saw a woman who was white who had 12 stars around her head, who came down from the heavens, covered in light, who was pregnant.

And then a... three-headed dragon was going to eat her and did eat her. He wrote it down on like tombs or whatever the fuck you call him and he gave him to the people and that like like people like the Catholicicism. Catholicism Catholicism, those people

that believe that in Mary and stuff, that's the reason why they like kind of believe in Mary because she came down that was pregnant and they saw that as a sign. No, the Mary came down they saw so Catholicism was based off like they think that's Jesus like that that we had a dragon come in.

And where's the 12-starred woman come from? That's, she, I don't know. It sounds like a, like, a devil-may cry boss. It sounds, it sounds crazy. It's just like, it's crazy. It sounds crazy, but I was told all this stuff at, like, literally, like, the last day, and I was just like. Does she go to one of those mega-churches or is like a regular-sized church? It's like an indie church where people go to church.

It's like a hipster church. Like a smaller church. Not the one where the pastor owns and, like, a private helicopter. Yeah, no. They got a food banquet. Everybody talks to each other like, yeah, we know. We're at the exclusive Saturday church. We know more.

So it's like, I mean, like, I'm obviously. Sunday they see people going to church. They just look at them and scoff and like nudge each other. Like, look at those guys. You know, like, you know, like, Mary, birth Jesus in like the crib or whatever in the barn with all the animals? And there's like all those like Joseph and fucking people around her. Mary, they saw the pregnant woman who came down from the sky was Mary in the future.

And that's why they see Mary as a prophet, but she's not. And another rule is you're not supposed to have false idols. So like Mary and all that stuff is considered a false idol. She's not originally you're supposed to believe in Jesus only. Dude, this is amazing. I can't remember Jesus become the Quiddish pastor. See, this is what I wish was back, re-indected into religion. This is the sad part.

Back in Roman times, they had all these incredible gods. They were all petty assholes and they were interesting. Yeah. They were, like, real people. They had weaknesses and strength. Oh, they were so jealous and hateful, too. Collect them on baseball cards. Like, you know, who's your favorite god?

Every kid had their favorite. Some could even evolve, too. They threw lightning or, like, they're a sex god or a sun god or a moon god. That's true, yeah. They had gods for literally every sensation you felt. They were so cool. I mean, it's still cool. Yeah, and they did, like, cool, like, interbreeding as well.

Like, they'd breed with animals and, like, spirits. So all of a sudden you have, like, half-god spirit things and all sorts of shit. Yeah. They traded this awesomeness for this depressing... Boring guys. This big old white bearded dude. It's depressing asshole on a wooden cross. Yeah.

He was... You know, the Christian god was the first cis white male. It was all about the patriarchy after that. But this is also something I learned from the movie. I'm not saying I learn it and take it as actual knowledge, but this is something it was told me. It told me the reason why he killed himself on the cross is obviously to release themselves with their sin.

Everybody knows that. Right. But prior, they called Jesus like... He's like a lamb. or something. His term is like lamb. Yeah. Because lambs are helpless. And they used to sacrifice animals before Jesus sacrificed himself. Adam and Eve used to sacrifice animals because it was like because they sinned. They had to continue to sin and sacrificing animals was what they did before Jesus killed himself. And that's when everybody could start praying. Because before that God, I guess he forgot that Jesus, maybe instead of waiting 400 years, that maybe you should do something. I want to know what kind of bullshit rule that is. Some powerful entities like actually allows a person. to, you know, take on like a debt collector. Like, here, you, all these sinful assholes, you can die, you know, you can wipe this slate clean if you kill you, if you die on this cross. But Jeff, that's what he, that's what he did.

To his own son. That's what he did to his own son. Turning into people from ribs. Yeah, you know what? It's like, ah, you know, really bothers me. Because everybody, if you die, they're cool. No, but that's, that's actually wrong, because Jesus is God. He is God.

He is God. And he knew he was the son of God. He knew he was going to heaven. It was a suicide mission. It was a suicide mission with no consequence. Because he came from heaven, went right back up for eternity. No, yeah. But keep in mind, this is from somebody who kind of gets knowledge and-

Right. I don't know exactly what they said. It's all one. It's all one. The Father of the God, the Holy Spirit is still Jesus. Who the fuck is the Holy Ghost, by the way? Where do the Holy Ghost come in? The reason why-

Christmas? No, the reason why they sacrificed Jesus is because after Adam and Eve, like they created, he created Adam and Eve. even they sinned by eating the apple. When he told him not to, and that started, like, death and famine and all that shit, he wanted to keep in touch because, you know, he created this world for all these people, and then they fucked up in the first hour, and he's like, well, shit, I guess I got to fucking eventually open up to them again.

And that's why he said kill the animals to stay in touch, but then, like, I guess that's what he said killed Jesus. So if you pray for Jesus after he gave up his own son, just like they gave up everything because they sinned and stuff. So he was trying to be humanitarian. So, yeah, but here's the other interesting thing. is that Jesus had to die in order for the slate to be cleaned, right? He needed to be killed by his fellow man.

There is still sin, but in order for you to go to heaven, he's kind of like your vessel. Right. But he needed to die. Yeah. So the purpose, like, if anything, they were supposed to kill him. That was always the goal. But they had to kill him.

You know what the most fucked up part about that is? He always knew they were going to take the apple in the first place. That's why he put it there. So he's just having fun. Like, if you really would believe in that, God is just kind of a prick. I'm bored. Let's just fuck around here. Also, I don't want to like jump into the religion, but what happened was like Satan was casted from heaven from the great war because he was like his right hand man and he was forcing angels.

So he had like millions of angels from heaven and he was the one who shape shift into like the lizard monster thing who gave him the apple. And it was really that's what they say. They say like Satan was the one. Satan was the first altered beast. He fooled the humans. Because humans, the reason why humans even do that stuff is because they were given like consciousness. Like thought, like they were born to think and it's like all you know like it wasn't called the free will Yes, yes that's what I was this I know wasn't think or consciousness, but it was free will

They were given the free will to do something and that's why they ate the apple because they were Built with flaws like that's all I really like learned and I like I said I looked at the pamphlet and it basically that pamphlet thing you know Are there any parts of this pamphlets that you think would be good to be read read this one this is what happens after you die find something that's interesting in there but I'll be One of those was like about a city and space. Yeah, that's the one. That's the one. See, that's called, it's literally called city and space. It's like one of those utopia novels you read about everything is perfect, but you have to look at this.

But this is what my mom believes will happen when we die. Chad, find it, Jeff, read it. Okay, yeah, yeah, you're Jeff, you read it whenever you find some. You're such a lovely narrator voice. If you'd like me to. I would love me. Let me tell you something. Can I first personally apologize for prior podcast?

Because I didn't know much about religion. I was completely ignorant to all religion. and I've learned a lot about this, the Seventh Day Venice. I've learned a lot about it. And Space City and three-headed dragon. Three-headed dragon is actually Satan. Oh, that is Satan?

Yeah, it was a representation of Satan. It's like if fucking God was playing charades with this fucking crazy old guy. He was on a mountain carving into stuff, and he went up to him and put a charade in front of him. He's like, give me an egg, give me knee, and he fucking gives it to heaven like that. And he does this, and he's like, this is heaven and this is hell. It basically was a representation of that.

I love these pamphlets where they, You know, it's a bunch of questions saying, you know, what if I don't, what if, what if I don't believe in the Bible? Yeah, yeah. Read it. Read it. It's basically like, can I, it's like, why can I trust the Bible? And the answer is like, you can trust the Bible because the Bible's true. Right.

That's it. Yeah. What does the Bible claim about itself? Answer. It claims to be inspired. It was written by men who were guided by the Holy Ghost. It cannot be broken or proven untrue. It can't be?

Apparently not. It can't be. And that's the answer? No, sir. Nope. I just love how they like, they try to rope you in with like a... What if I had an argument with you, Shed? And you were like, where did you get the information?

And I said, it's the information I gave you and it can't be proven otherwise. And I just stood up and walked away. It's gibberish. It doesn't mean anything. You wouldn't, you wouldn't follow me? You wouldn't be devoted to me after dropping that knowledge bomb on you? Political answer. You know, you're just saying something.

It makes you sound okay. Here, like, this is a pretty interesting thing if Dev should read it. Are biblical health principles tuned to the 21st century mind? If people just followed the Bible, it says millions of alcoholics will become sober, respectable citizens. As if they're just not. You can immediately tell which audience this is for, because there's a little thing here saying, there will be no use for crutches and wheelchairs in heaven. Accepting Christ and obeying scripture changes a broken, immoral, profane sinner into a loving, sober, pure Christian.

Skeptics cannot explain this. fact. I can't explain it. It's amazing. It's a fact, too. They actually sound like, you know, like the Nazis or like just a very fascist regime when they say, what will happen to sin and sinners? Answer, God will destroy all sin and sinners with fire. This fire will melt the earth and turn everything into ashes. What did I say? Then God will make a perfect new earth. Exactly. And the holy city will be its capital. Those who are pure will be brought up to will be brought back up to heaven, and he will recreate Earth again with no sense. Like, no compromise.

Like, destroy them all. He's just waiting for the right time to attack. Here, heaven will bring us the privilege of becoming friends with the Bible patriarchs and prophets. Like, oh, that's so sweet. You guys can chill out, play board games. See, I want to, if you believe in this kind of stuff, that's fine, okay? But what I'm saying is to hear all this stuff as somebody who's never heard this stuff before, it's definitely interesting

and I don't it's like going back in time and being like why does it rain it's because Thor is angry and he's throwing thunders for those who don't understand you just did it

what they're throwing thunders at people yeah that's the freaking additional S first of all you'd throw lightning bolts not thunder

thunder is the sound but second of all the plural of thunder is thunder it's wrong in so many ways Sorry, I didn't mean to correct you God, now I'm the asshole It's fine, it's fine

Have a little asterix What do you know, I'm sorry People should just start doing that Asterix, um Thunder I'm sorry It's my own fault for being a fool I can't tell the difference

Between Thunder and Lightning Or you, you love people You are kind You try to keep an open mind You're willing to receive this information And judge it at, you know Based on your own experience Rather than just following it

I don't care how inaccurate your facts are. I don't think that makes you an idiot. I think that makes you the opposite. Thank you. You're welcome. You're cutie. So let's get out of the box. Let's go away from Missouri.

Let's leave Missouri and let's talk about something. This is what I was going to get mad about. Has anyone ever rode a Greyhound bus? I've never been on a Greyhound bus. I have. No, I have. You know, like, most places, how you can go up to them on your phone and be like, here, you see this?

This is me. And this is my ticket. And they're like, okay, you can get on the bus And like most places are like, they can, this is like, 2015. They scan it from your phone. Yeah, it's like digital almost everywhere. You can do that.

You can't do that on Greyhound. You have to print it out and hand it to them and they have to be like this and then they have to see your ID. And all you're doing is getting on a fucking bus. You're not getting on a plane. They're not going through your pockets and checking to see if you have knives and guns.

They're just like, and you see your ticket in your ID to make sure you're not lying to us. It's like, I already spent like hundreds of dollars to ride your fucking bus. Yeah, they're kind of a low-tech company. Yeah. Their own fucking system is incompetent. They have these lines, right? You go to the fucking greyhound place and they have these lines and there's like one through 30. No, there's like 16 through 30 and one through 16, right? Their fucking lines you're supposed to line up. You have your number at the top and you're supposed to go into that. You're supposed to get in line when they call your name. What did you have to take a bus to? Exactly. To go to Illinois. Oh, from the airport or? No, I took a greyhound from Missouri to St. Louis and then got another greyhound to get to Illinois.

How long did that take? 10 hours. It was funny because me and, me and Lexi printed off the tickets. We were like, oh, it's perfect. We're gonna get there in fucking four hours. It'd be great. But what actually ended up happening was they took us to fucking St. Louis and we sat in there for four hours because the only Greyhound out of fucking where I was from was at 7.45 p.m. And the Greyhound don't start up till 3 a.m. or whatever. So they're like, just gonna drop you off at St. Louis. Chill out for four hours. And then we'll pick you up. And it's like, what the fuck.

Parts, I don't know exactly what part of St. Louis it is, but has the highest crime rate in America. Does it actually? I mean, I think like how airports work. If you have a layover, you have to wait by it. Yeah.

I'm going to assume it's worth a great... But it wasn't... I didn't realize that. And it was the only one we could take. We could only take it at 7.45 PM. So we took it and we went there and we were there and there was this one dude. Like, I got an iPad on my vacation in Missouri because last time I went there, I didn't have anything.

But I got an iPad. It was only like $250 and it's great. Like, I love it. It's, I've never had an iPhone before and I've never used it, but I am using an iPad. And it's awesome because I can... fucking play games. And that's another topic I wanted to talk about. We can talk about later like free to play games.

Because there's a model of that that I don't like, but there's a model of that I do like. Some of these companies hire psychologists to come up. They're pretty open about it too. They hire psychologists to come up with ways of developing these free to play games in order to manipulate people to spend the most amount of money. No, yeah. But there's good free to play games. And then there's bad free to play games.

Like, for instance, a good free to play game is something like plants versus zombies. That's a really good free-to-play game, the first one and the second one. A bad free-to-play game is something like fucking, like Night War or something where you do one move and wait for two hours. Yeah. Or you wait for three days. It's all matter of perspective, yeah. They're all built to suck as much money out of it as they can. But something like Plants v. zombies, right?

I didn't know there was a paying option. It's a free-to-pay. You're paying for like, basically, what they can. You can unlock more things or you speed up time. Yeah, that's what it mostly is. On most games, it's a stilt thing. They'll bleed you. you stuff and then they'll say like, but if you purchase this $50 pack, you can go and play the

full game basically if you buy it. But the thing is, there's games that don't do it so dastardly. Like I played this one mall game. It's like little mall story or something. I really liked it. I thought it was a charming, fun game. And I'm a faggot who likes tycoon games. So I was playing a mall tycoonish type game and I was really getting into it.

But what I wasn't getting into was waiting for two days when I post a building. Because eventually you get to that point where it starts like stilting you and making it impossible. And they do it only after you've invested a certain amount of time and energy into it. But there's some games that don't do that. Like Plants versus Zombies 2 is a game where you can basically play the full entire fucking game. You can put in

14 hours without paying a single dime. Yeah. You just... You can unlock everything. Yes. It just takes more time. But it's like if it's a game that's competent like that, it feels like it's fun, then that's fine. I honestly think it would be fun designing a free-to-play game, but designing it in a way like Plants v. Zombies, where

You don't insult the player by immediately stilting them. You fucking make it so they don't ever have to do that. It's just to really invest in the game and want to try other stuff. You put it there. Cool, you should try a fallout shelter on your iPad. I haven't. But I needed internet, so I couldn't play it when I was in Missouri. I think that's also pretty clever.

Like, you don't have to, it's free to play, but you can see why you would want to pay. But that's what's genius about it. You can still play the full game. I got all, like, I got the full of all, and I never paid a single sense. And that has to be like, you. know, from downloads, and you know, I don't mind when people play ads in the thing, because you can put ads in the corner, whatever. Sure.

Just don't have video pop-up ads and shit like that. That gets annoying. Dude, the new Angry Birds, there's so many fucking issues with it. Like, people are just so pissed at it. Because, A, the first Angry Birds was a puzzle game. There were ways of using, like, one bird to, like, clear out an entire level to do the maximum amount of damage if you did the exact right thing. Yeah.

The thing with Angry Birds, too, is that there's a lot of randomly generated levels. Yeah. There is kind of a pattern, but for the most part, it's not only randomly generated levels, But the characters, like the birds that you're given, are all randomly generated as well. And that's cool. So what do you pay for? But it's a totally different game. You pay for extra lives.

You would also pay for power-ups because what they did with this new one is one level isn't one level anymore. It's five levels in one level. Yeah. So like you'll get through four. You're on the fifth one. You need one more bird. Yeah. You need one more.

Live models. And I've seen that. And live, I cannot stand free-to-play models that use live systems. to it because it's very unfair because they can sit there and crank up the difficulty at the last second and fuck you over and then completely ruin your game. You don't even expect it. You're going to it

and you're fucked and you're just like... If you really want to see people... Sorry, just really quick. With Angry Birds 2, I actually do play it because I just don't pay for anything, but I do enjoy some of like the competitive parts of it. You don't have to. It does definitely speed things up. No, definitely. It's interesting because that is such a great model to see just how

blatantly they will use that system against you. So, like, Two, three levels, no problem. Pass through it, no problem. And then there's the level right before you get like a free gift or something. You might spend two or three days to actually beat that level. And then on top of that, what will happen is if you are, if you need one more bird, you can play an ad. Yes.

And they'll give you one more bird, right? That is so weird. And a lot of times it won't be enough, but sometimes it is enough. So it works. So I always felt like with the ads they would give it to you in these circumstances. If you run our lives, you can watch an ad. and they'll give you one more life. But then, if you beat like three levels,

they'd just play an ad anyway. Yes. That was happening. What? I was playing this game. It was a Sonic iPhone game, but it's really good Sonic iPhone game. Is it the,

is it the runner one? Yes. I like that one, actually. That was fucking awesome. That mechanic works really well. The escape run thing that they do? You get, and there's like 52 fucking levels. There's hundreds of outputs,

and the game resets after level 52, it just keeps going, and you get these little companion. that you can win after getting a certain amount of red coins, and you can get really far. But the problem is, I was doing this thing where it was really, like, cheeky that they did it, but I think it was also really clever,

but I wish it wouldn't happen every time I fucking do it now. But you could play a video ad, and then they would give you one of those, like, laser things or one of those drill things along with a bubble shield. So you could get an extra life. If you were on the last one, like you were on the four where if you get hit once you're dead, they would give you a bubble shield.

So you have an extra life base. basically, and I did that and I exploited it, but then they started playing ads. And I didn't even get an option. It just started playing ads. What are the ads about? They're just bullshit. Like stupid other iPhone games. You know, most of these ads end up just being ads for other iPhone games. It's so fuck. And you know what?

It's like a circle jerking game system where everybody jerse each other off. It's like this inception of fucking iPhone games. And not only that, but a lot of times there's like the X to like click out of the ad. Like they make the hitbox so tiny that like you'll try to click the X. And then it opens up the app store to download. The website it just opens the app store Automatically. Yes. Yes. I'm always shutting the app store. You're like searching for something and an app appears

You're like, I don't want that. A lot of it goes to it automatically. So what it happens is I think what they do is they um what will happen is if you open up some sites They'll have an ad that pops up on the site so if you go to like a movie Like a game review site then they'll throw up an ad as soon as the page loads Right? But that ad eats up the whole screen and a lot of times you're thumbing through the site and so you're fingers are already pressing the screen. You're not even clicking it. So then it just takes you immediately. And some of them will just open it up. It just shuts the browser down. Here's the app store. So there's that site where they had like a hints and stuff or the

information on Bloodborn or Dark Souls that Fextra or whatever it's called. But they have it, if you go on the mobile site, a lot of times it automatically just shuts your browser down and opens up fucking the app store. I'm ashamed to say I've actually dealt with people that one of, that was, we're advertising that on my site. He said that they could do that. And they're really shady. Like, they come on, they're like, yeah, you want to make some extra money out of your site? It's like, how does $500 extra a week sound?

They're like, oh, that sounds pretty good. Like, what I got to do? Yeah. And they're like, you know, just put up our ad. It's only going to pop up once every 24 hours. I was like, all right. Like, I'll bite. I'll see what this is.

And then, like, it pops up three different ads every fucking visit. Like, you know, you're like, hey, I thought, I thought we had a deal. Right. And he's like, oh, I don't know what happened. It's out of my hands. They're so shady. I'm never going to put ads like that on my side ever again. You're like calling them back to complain, but then like the phone's ringing in an empty office.

Like they just cleared house and left. Like Shad, he would update me. There was this one time because I turned ads off because I always turn ads off. But I go to it and yeah, I had three pop-ups. And I'm like, Shad, do you know that I just had three pop-ups and I've been to your side? I'm so sorry. That was like a phase I was going to test things. I'm never going to have that again.

The thing is, and this is really funny because people, People are always confronting me on fucking, like, on Twitter and Tumblr, and they're like, hey, did you know that people are using your porn and stuff as like animated gifts? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, what do you want me to do? Do, go put the fucking hammer down and be like, please take down my porn? Oh, they were using Smash Girl, right? Yeah, but it's like, I can't do anything. They have no moral.

It doesn't matter. It's fucking smut. It does, there's no rules. If they steal it and fucking turn it into a porn gift for their site, what do you do? You're not making any currency off it? It's like, you know, they killed my friend. You know, it's like, get out of here. I'm gonna fucking arrest you.

I'd say people who sell porn ads on the internet, their morale is, dude, maybe just like a millimeter above, like, people who sell children and... That's actually, actually, there's some people who generally want to show off their stuff. There's some saint-y, like... I think there's people who are, like, they're proud of their work, and they want to show it all. There's also, like, porn ad companies that are, like, they're good.

Like, you have, like, the jelly girls or whatever. Yeah, yeah. The F-L-A-A-A. to have like a network. But it's like a network. And the network, they're not going to be fucking you over because it's like,

you know, it's like an iPhone. It's like everyone works together. They're not working together to fuck each other around. And they only have banner ads. And I think banner ads are fine as long as they're not offensive.

I don't know. The ads I hate the most are the ones where you see it's like a really grainy gif of like an animated gif of some guy with a horse dick or something. And he's sitting there like jacking it off. Like it's a fucking park.

It's like an image that was like stretched in scenes. Yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, not only does this ad look fucking stupid You know, now I feel kind of like, I don't even want to watch porn anymore.

Like, I feel really ashamed to myself. I just click out. There's always like those ones that are just like, like, is this fooling anybody? They're like flashing white and red. It's like, click me, win something. And you're like, yeah, click that. Win an extra 10 inches to your dick.

It's like, oh, I'm just going to click this ad and bang. So I'm like, I'm always like, okay, I got to fucking scare the thing over. And these sites do this thing where they push the ad into the video so you can't fucking minimum. Windows anymore. I've gone through all of that, but thankfully I'm now above it, but like you have to like

experiment with all kinds of shit if you run a website. Do a legitimate website has the most fucked up ads and clickbait have ever seen? Weather.com. Yeah, they have the weirdest articles too. Weather.com? Weather. Like, literally, it sounds

like the most legit site ever, weather.com. And it has real weather, but it's filled with the most shady ads and clickbait shit you've ever seen life. That's almost genius because you're getting like these old ladies and these old men who are like, I have this confounder. Nobody even wants to go there. Never even occurred to me, but it is totally the equivalent of like the National Inquirer. Old ladies standing in line to buy their fucking diapers and produce. And they see, they see like Donald Trump fucking Kim Kardashian on the cover of National Enquirer. And they're going to buy that.

That's exactly what this fucking weather.com show. I want to say no, though. They also have the best clickbait. They have clickbait on weather.com better than anything else in the internet. I have you have a little picture and it says, Will and will an asteroid to destroy our solar system? I mean, you can't get better than that. You can't get better than that. It's on weather.com, of course you're going to trust it.

Are we going to die in two years of the Earth? Will the sun explode and destroy Earth tomorrow? I don't know. I'd look to read this. That's like people, I bet news.com has shady ads too because people are typing in weather. They are. You know what they do, though?

Shopping. No, no, no. Like the New York Times and like all these other guys, what they'll do is they'll have their ads, and then they'll have, like, suggested ads or, like, sponsored news or something like that, below the actual news. But people can't tell that are, like,

because they all think it's all amalgamation of one post. Of course they do. It's like when you go to those download sites, like media blaze or whatever, mega upload or whatever. Are you going to, like, Put Locker to watch, like, a free stream video? Well, they'll have, like, next to the download buttons,

they'll actually have ads that look like download buttons that say download this file, but it has nothing to do with the actual site that you're on. No, and you're usually grabbing your, self a malware. You're kind of asking for it when you go to the sites. But it's like, you risk it. Like, if you really want to see dumb and dumber,

dumb and dumber and you're going to puttlocker, you better get ready for some shady heads. Heavy ads. Some shady. Like, have your eyes and ears. Insulted. Like, that would be the loudest shit. Like, you like the new dumb and dumber?

Check out the new dumb and dumber. And you're like, oh. And then it's just like this loud fucking ad for like ointment cream or something. Has it ever happened to you where an ad? Like, you know how these dude called pop under ads where they pop out but they pop out behind your browsers you don't even notice them. Yeah, until you click out of the

screen and then you're like, wait, what fuck is this? When I was younger it happened and there was like things, there was like sounds playing and I was like something like what was that? Did I hear that? It's like very faint. You hear like something. It doesn't. And it's like what the, and it really makes you paranoid and you notice it's just this fucking ad. It doesn't happen

anymore because it's like most browsers know how to manage that and keep it within their area, but it used to happen on Internet Explorer. And I think it probably still does because Internet Explorer fucking sucks. But I think the absolute worst ads are, and when you go somewhere, it's like you're checking something out,

and something pops up. It's like from the FBI or something, for the government, it's like, we have detected illegal content on the archive. It's like, you have to pay. It's like, you have to pay. this X amount to here to unlock your browser. Are you will?

Oh, and they do the thing where every time you try to click out, they give you like reverse logic. It's like, do you want to out, are you sure you don't want to do, exit into an, out of this window maybe? Sometimes they just lock at it. I don't know how to do it, but you just can't go out. It's like, I've seen that.

You just have to shut down your browser. You have to like go into the task manager and eliminate the process. Yep. It's fucking ruthless. It is, dude. It should be illegal. Yeah. In the internet, it was way easier back then because you were looking for screen savers and you were getting malware that way. They have to be creative. Did you ever, did you see the new South Park?

Or the oldest new South Park? Yeah, the one with the ads. Yes. It was fucking genius because it's what everybody experiences. experiences. But at the very end, the part that made me laugh the most is when the PC principle was literally a PC fighting ads. And at the end, and like, it's like two means like, you know, PC, like politically correct. But he's also an actual PC. A personal computer. And it was just like, I look at that. I'm like, my fucking head exploded. Because I'm like, oh my fucking God, I get it now. This

whole fucking season makes sense. There's two meanings. It's genius. But that was really funny because it's like ads bother everybody. And they're really malicious where they put them. did the whole thing with you PC bro, you know, that kind of became a meme. Yeah. It kind of makes sense because also like people who play computer games on the PC, they're always like, you're on a fucking console. It's like you're not a PC? Fuck you.

You know, like they're so elitist about playing games on a PC. The PC or elitist about being politically correct. It's fucking, it is genius. The new thing that's pissing me off is these sort of related, but these spam phone calls have been getting. Yeah. They're getting more like threatening. You get that all the time.

You'll be like working. and then someone call you and you'll just be like, I'm not interested. But they're clearly saying it. I, I, you're really bold. This one was ridiculous because this,

oh, you kept it? Yeah. Oh, I recorded it. Yeah. It's basically this Indian woman. It's like,

hello, my name, she says her name is fucking Annie Johnson. What's the fucking Indian woman is named Annie Johnson? Hello, I'm from the legal department of the something,

you know, it's like, I need you to contact me and talk to your lawyer and send me money, and I'm like, what the fuck? Wait,

let me replay this. Let me play this. I don't know. I don't know. Hopefully you have one message. This message is intended for Jeffrey. This is Annie Johnson for the Department of Legal Affairs. I was trying to reach you in regards to a very important issue. My number is 347. 9-2338. You are the city cause back. I would suggest you to have your retain attorney to do it. for you. This is Annie Johnson.

Annie Johnson. I just love how, like, she clearly can't even read the script that she's got in front of her. Like, you look up the phone number and it's like a million people have gotten this call from Annie Johnson. What would it take in a phone call for you to actually believe that it was a legal department of some financial bureau trying to get money out of you? I mean, obviously not an Indian lady who says her name is Henry Johnson. I mean, I feel like they would have to know information that's not readily available on the internet. They'd have to know something about me. But they couldn't say it to you because you're on the phone.

Is that a rule? Yeah, because they can't just, they can't repeat sensitive information because anyone could have picked up your phone. My general rule is anytime somebody calls about anything like this, I immediately just hang up and block them. So maybe there's even been real phone calls. And if I have a problem with a bank, I call them. Right. I feel like the general rule for me would be, they'd have to send me something in the mail because I think that has to be, that's traceable. and if it's not traceable like a phone call or an email

and there's people asking for sensitive information, you just ignore it. You ignore it until somebody knocks on your fucking door. At which point, you're like, welcome in, whatever you need, I'm right here. Tom does something that I used to do whenever I actually had a phone. He would get a number and he would Google it to see if it's like an actual thing. And then if he saw that it's not or it's like people are talking about it as a scam, he will block the number.

And I used to do that. I would be on my phone and someone call me, I'd look it up. It'd be like, oh, it's bullshit. And then I block it. Do they not realize that that also exists? The internet is always that everyone's finger-tips. But I think it's like a fishing thing, right? They're just going to keep casting their line until some sucker falls for.

They're hoping you're a fucking... All they need is one... No, what they're hoping... Third World country, you know, like if you're like some poor Russian out of the computer... No, what they're hoping is you're some poor, defenseless, 90-year-old man or woman who hasn't had a social encounter with somebody in forever. Who got a call. And they're just like, oh, don't you want to hear how my day was?

They're just like, go with thousands of dollars, ma'am. Give us your fucking money, ma'am. That's 90% of telemarketing, by the way, too. It was really sad. It's, like, also in the email. It is fucked up. It's everywhere. There's so much of it.

Like, as a guy who runs a website, like, I have, like, this spam filter in my comment section, so there's actually legit people, like, not robots commenting. But every now and then, when the spam thing breaks down, like, there's tons of messages of, like, Japanese sites trying to sell, like, watches, handbags and stuff. Like, who falls for that? Buy handbags made by real Japanese people.

Do you remember on MS. send that like what happened I don't know if you guys know like old instant messaging like software they're what used to get people is they'd be like did you see this photo of you and they would put a picture oh yes did you know people are talking about you did you see this photo of you that they got online oh yes yeah like that like those websites like classmates dot com did you know somebody is trying to contact yes and you have to pay money to see the message yeah or another class he's like hey honey you saw your profile pick really like what I see yes here's mine and he's And it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, E3244E.

Yeah. Like, I'm not going to fucking click that. That's the other thing. Dude, always check those email addresses. It doesn't matter. I've seen PayPal emails that look that literally, because it's easy to do. You just copy and paste the HTML of an HTML email looks identical. But check out that email.

Because if you see something where it's like PayPal dot, you know, fucking x5803538. Yeah. You know, dot, you know, whatever, hyphen something. dot com, you're just like, wow. But we get like these fake Patreon things. Yeah, yeah. We need more information. So many things in this world, I, you know, I don't

care about the big, I don't care about who's going to be president, but things like when I go into Best Buy and they card me when I'm buying an R-rated movie. I just want to, I just like, what are you doing? Yeah. And this woman, this woman's like, yeah, I'm really sorry. You know, I had to card a hundred year old yesterday.

It's like, why? Like, why? Yeah, why? He's clearly fucking growing up. You're really gonna get fired for not carding a hundred year old. He took, yeah. You blue-haired idiot. It took like, you know, he took like, I saw him walking over here. It took in like 20 minutes and I had to card it by and I was like, I was taking it back. I'm like, I start slowly pulling my ID out of my wallet. I'm like, do I really need to do this? When I went into Best Buy to just get information, I went up to the thing and they were like, can I see some ID? And it's like, I just want to know where they're, you know, they're, you know, those people are super stuff. Yeah. Look, there are corporate rules where they do kind of have to be serious, but there are circumstances where, yeah, they absolutely, it is ridiculous.

You could have a freaking Holocaust survivor, some like 200-year-old dude, walk up to the counter, and the lady's like, hey, listen, sir, I'm really sorry. He's like, I forgot my ID. All I'm looking for is that new rated R fucking aliens movie. I heard it was decent. She wouldn't fucking give it to him. He can show her the fucking tattoo, his fucking barcode number, and she'd still be like, no, that doesn't count. But all I was doing was looking for the fucking. iPhones and iPads and I went up to the information desk he's like yeah we need to see your

ID and I was like all right well here's my like fucking retarded ID and I gave for an iPhone to use it to find it to talk to the information guy he had an exclusive club that I had to show my ID to you want I just want to buy USB drive like can I have your zip code can I have your phone on here can I have your email like fuck off you go to you go to I go to like American Eagle Outfitter because that's like the only place I shop for pants and I go there they're like what's your We need it for information. It's like, what do you? What?

It's like, we're going to give you a card. I don't want a card. They just assume that I want in a card. You don't want to save money? Because you could save 20% right now. And I'm like, I'll lose the card and don't care because that's, I've eaten that fucking Wendy's 100 times

and I haven't used the Wendy's card that's sitting in my wallet collecting dust. You should, though. You should use it. I used it once. Digital game so much, because every time you want to buy a physical game, you have to, like, go through all these things

of like, you know, like signing up for something. And I'm like, you sure you don't want this? Because you would get great benefits. I just want the game. That's another thing with gift cards. Not to be little, the guy who gave me the Wendy's gift card. I believe that was Hector. But I think it was.

Hector's cool. But I used it. But I don't know how much is on it now. And I don't want to go up to the people and be like, excuse me, how much is on my Wendy's card? And they're like, fucking be like $5. And I'm like, well, I can get a whole nothing. Or I can get some fries. But it's like, I don't want to do that.

I just want to use it once. And then it'd be all over. And I'm like, here's the money from the card. I'm like, oh, wow, it's my birthday. But there's these things now where you can actually turn your gift cards in for, they give you the money off of it. What? Yeah, but they take a percentage of it. So if you have like a $30 gift certificate, they take like 10% of it.

It actually does kind of make sense because it was purchased through that entity. And if they're taking a cut, they're just kind of like, all right, well, we get a little bit of free money, I guess. Yeah. Basically, yeah. So if you have like a fucking gift certificate to like go to something like Lowe's and let's say you never shop there, you just give it to something like a place that turns in. Amazon cards. They're actually okay in my book only because you plug it in once and you have

a digital wallet and you can see exactly how much you have. Yeah. But it's yeah, it's like the gift cards for like a lot of other places where you're sitting there you got like five cards in your wallet and for all you know you have like one dollar and they're just like fuck off. Give a $2.50. There's some kind of amazing statistic of

how much money that goes unspent from you've collected all of that? There's like a billion, like millions millions of dollars. This guy is This is this like this like slob is sitting there with like 14 different gift cards, which he actually has like $600 on there. And he's like, gonna sell my Xbox games.

I don't have any more money. And really like, this was something they're doing at GameStop where you can bring in your fucking gift cards from anywhere in the world and they take a profit from it, but they still give you money off of it. And while I think GameStop is still like the worst place to go to trade in stuff, the fact that you still get anything off of it is great

because again, you're not going to go into fucking Wendy's and spend $2. You're going to forget that how much money of your card. You're not going to make a stink of it when you go in there. Yeah. You know, the same thing happens

with rebates. You get that, you know, they advertise it as a, is a $50 phone. But really, it costs you like

fucking $500, but they're going to give you a $450 rebate a week later that you have two days to mail in. Otherwise, it's going to.

I did that, but I got like a $50 rebate. Now I was like seriously thinking, is this even worth the trouble to get to have to have like a photocopy of your receipt,

you have to have the barcode off the back of the box. And I was thinking. A fucking blood sample, urine sample. They're like making you work for that extra. Oh, absolutely. I want to see something, but it's something I want to stab somebody.

It does, my supermarket does this. You go into the supermarket. I buy food every week or two. Everything's digital. Everything's, like, top of the line digital. You swipe your card. You're using digital keypads and screens and everything else. I need, like, the self-checkout.

Automated, everything's top of the line. But then it's like a button shows up. Would you like a, would you like 5% off your order? But it won't give you 5% off the order you just bought. It prints out a fucking paper receipt. And it's like, you can use this next time. You just type in the 14-digit code on the back. Yeah.

You have to print out this long as 20-foot-long paper receipt. It's a fucking Sudoku puzzle that you have to fill out. And once you have all the numbers, give this to a human next time or here. And I'm like, oh, fuck, I just crumble it out back there. It's no ladies. Coupons. You know where they keep collecting these coupons?

And they have to do all this searching and cutting out, finding it in the right places. In the end, all they save is like $2 or something. It's ridiculous. Do you know those commercials, you were talking about rebate and stuff? Those commercials were it's like, $0 for the first five days of Christmas. That's zero. I'm talking $0. Rebate, $0.

And then you're like, I got this thing free. You're fucking got a bill. Yeah. Oh, no, absolutely. And then they slap you with that bill. So when you see something online, It's like, get you and your family free phones for $0.00 for $0.00. You're like, well, that's a fucking steal, but it's really $25,000.

I don't know how people live like that. People fall for that shit. Yep. Absolutely. All they need is a couple of those fucking suckers and bang, they just made so much money that. You see those commercials? They don't care if your whole family fucking has to move out of their house and you're all, you're all like hoard yourselves to the local gangs and shit.

What's the closest guys ever seen? scammed, you think? Like, what's the... To being scammed? Yeah. I would say the biggest scam that I've experienced is going to be the PlayStation Now program. Oh, the PSN program.

That's that one. That is... So what'll happen is, is like, I looked up Resident Evil 4, right? And they got it. It's available. And I was so excited. I wanted to spend, I would spend $60. I would just drop money on that game. Even though, you know, going back and playing it, it was okay. But still, in the moment,

in the moment, my past level of it, I just would have impulse-bide it, right? So I see it. It's on PlayStation now. And it says you can play for free, actually. And I was like, I can play it for free. Oh, okay. So it says you've got to sign up for, as soon as you click it, it'll be like, okay, look, it's not really free. All right? We're going to do a free trial here. You're getting a week for free. And it and it's auto-renew. And then, and then not only that, after that, it's 1999 and it's auto-renew, but it's 1999 of a month. Now, in my head, I'm thinking, hmm, they've got, you know, Mega Man 10. They've got.

not Resident Evil 4. There's kind of a selection, you know, maybe I'll give it a couple months, play some old games I haven't played, stream them with friends, you know, you know, just, you know, relive a little bit of my past. Well, here's the thing about PlayStation now. Not only can you not stream these games, because the service is a streamed game service, meaning the games that you're playing are coming from a different computer, so you're sending a signal across that then bounces back to you. How fucking useful is that in any game that requires, I don't know accuracy or pushing fucking buttons. How laggy was it?

It not only was it, Chad was there. Not only do you sometimes have to wait in line for a game to connect? But once you connected, I mean... Like artifacts. You see artifacts, it's like those videos where they try to do these tracers that go across the entire screen. Oh, like when you're, it's like a video freezes and then it plays over the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like the degrading or the degradation of videos if you keep compress or processes, them or whatever. And then like sometimes

they just straight up stop, they'll disconnect, reconnect. I can't believe it's a thing. It just doesn't seem like it would ever work right. See it with certain games, like an RPG. You know, maybe I could get away with that a little bit. But can you imagine playing like Mega Man? No, no, you're trying to jump around with a horse to that.

It's even worse than that. When they first advertising that, they were using Street Fighter Four as one of the... Oh my God! No! Dude, any game that required any timing. A 60 frame per second fighting game on a streaming. Dude, you would have to buy a new TV because you'd have two controllers and a console shoved through the screen.

Like, there's no way you could fucking do it. It would be impossible. It's a great, I think it's a decent idea. If this was a beta service, maybe. If we were testing it, we were sending reports like internet speed, upload, download speeds, all that shit, you know, I could live through the pain of trying to enjoy a game from my past. And, you know, and being frustrated at times. But there's no way, like, I don't know, last.

month when I got an auto renew notice in my fucking email saying, oh by the way yesterday we charged you. It was like, wait, what? You're supposed to give me like a week or something. What the fuck? And then the best part is to turn it off because I was traveling when I got auto renewed. So I tried,

I was like, what the fuck? No, I got to turn this shit off. So you got to like log in online and there's no way to actually, without having the console, because if you have the console, you can turn off your subscriptions. But if you don't, you have to log into the site and you just have to disconnect a payment method. in order for it to just... So basically you just have to block it.

You know what I mean? Yeah. But then you block everything. I got one. And if we're talking about it, you guys probably have seen it everywhere. I'll go after you. What?

But I signed up with Lute Crate. Before Lute Crate became what it is now. So keep in mind, this is before Lute Crate was ever promoted by everyone ever. This was Lute Crate original. Somebody told me about it and I'm like, oh, I get free, like, gamer crap, stuff that you get at Spencer's gifts or other bullshit that you just get. And it's just like, oh, here you just have some crap to decorate your room.

Yeah, it's the shit that makes your room kind of, you know, fun and a little bit messy. But when you move out of that room, you really just throw it all in the trash. Exactly. But the thing is, when I signed up with it, I was under the impression that I would get random shit. Like lame Minecraft toys and fucking, like, Batman stuff and all these. Yeah, Sonic stickers. Yeah, like Fallout stickers. Just give me shit.

I wanted stuff, random stuff. Yeah. But the second I signed up, they changed their fucking modeling plan to have, themed random stuff. So, I signed up to a get random stuff. The first time I got it, it was random. And by the way, they had the sign-up thing when it's like, oh, you pay $6 or something.

It's just all this really shady shit where eventually goes to $13.99 or like $21.99 after a while. And so they kept mailing me shit. And by the way, there's no way to cancel it on their website. You have to fucking call them in order to cancel it. I hope to God they changed their plan, but for me, I had to fucking contact them and say, By the way, I'm moving, and I just thought I'd remind you that I wanted to cancel because I'm not going to get this shit.

So please don't send it. So not only was terrified that people were going to still keep sending me fucking Luke garbage. Actually, that's a great piece of advice that I never considered. If you're ever going to sign up for a service and I should take this advice, you should try to Google how to cancel it first. Yes. Because if you can't find out how to cancel it, there's probably a pretty good goddamn chance that they're trying to hide. You know, like, you're trying to make it as difficult. Oh, no, no, no.

I googled because afterwards I was like, how do I cancel? I googled and I saw I saw Lucrate incompetent and I'm like oh no okay Yeah, too late Oops But the first thing was they they sent me lucrate stuff was like teenage meat ninja turtle shit Okay, I wasn't like a turtles fan but I don't mind turtles, but I don't want these like lame-ass five-year-old glasses and shitty fucking I don't Yeah, I don't yeah, exactly

I don't want Markiplier stickers and booty pie fists and shit and I was like excuse me I signed up for gamer stuff not YouTube garbage they fucking couldn't sell But the thing is like They were first they did a theme where it was like Teen Teen Teen Ninja Turtles Fucking Doctor Who Which I didn't even know what the hell that was at the time

Villains, good guys I think Skylanders was one of them And I'm like I'm gonna kill myself I don't want this garbage And by the way It may come to a shock But when you put shirts in your fucking box People's size isn't extra small

So these people are going to like Fucking Hot Topic They're like what shirts can't you sell It's like, oh, the infant ones won't sell. It's like, give me those. I need one. We need, like, because we know little babies fucking sell this stuff. Wait, when you sign up for Lucre, do they ask you your shirt size?

Yeah. Okay, so they do ask your shirt size. And they don't get it right. And then they just ignore it. It's random. I get, they do. They ask you for all this stuff. They're like, your stuff and I'm like, okay, cool, I'm going to get all this crap.

I never wanted anything they gave me. I can think you're important. I didn't get a single fucking thing I enjoy. It should be like a lawsuit. Yeah, no, I was like, what I told them on the phone, I was like, listen, okay, you want advice have two fucking options when you sell stuff. And I know, and I actually did say like, I was like, fucking. I was pissed. I was like, have one for random stuff and have the other for theme stuff. Yeah. Because I guarantee there will be people who will want themes and random

stuff. Yeah. You know, I would just like, how much is the service? How much is it? It was $13, but I think it's like probably 19 now. I would pay. I would pay if I really love some of this shit. If I, if I came into a lot of money, like obviously I wouldn't do it now, but if I, if I ever got to some money, I would pay $40 a month if I could pick like 20 or 30 different things that I was really interested in and every Luke crate only had things related to those 20 or 30 things. You know what I mean? Perfect. Blood-Blobore theme.

Blood-Born thing. Yeah, don't-Hatline Miami. I thought that was kind of, if I got Hotline Miami masks for toys and shit like that. My Little Pony Hasbro shit. I don't want it. It can be, right. But I mean, somebody else though. Somebody else could be like, I love Markiplier, Pewty Pie, My Little Pony, Minecraft.

Boom That's what you're gonna get This is the thing These like loot crate They're just lying scumbags Because they'll say Oh yeah We're gonna have themed stuff

This now from now on And they'll still give you some excuse Like you know This is why I think people want You know But it's a lie No yeah There's some hidden benefit

They either right They either run out of the They ran out of all the cool stuff Or the company is giving them These themed items Are giving them some extra Monetary bonus For doing this

By the way Luke crate has reached out To Sleepy Cabin Oh, really? Well, Marvel. Yeah, I know. When Avengers came out, it was really strange that there was suddenly Marvel stuff in Lucreate. Look, I'll take their money, just hear the ad

and don't buy their stuff there. Yeah, I don't mind. Have you ever gotten like a Luke trade item and then you like went to the supermarket and saw like a toy and a cinnamon toast crunch box? And you were like, wait a minute, I got one of those. See, that's the thing. And with Luke crate, it's like, you know,

if you have Luke crate and you enjoy the shit you get, that's great. But the thing is, I didn't sign up for themes. I signed up for random stuff. And fuck you, Lou Crate, for doing themes when I didn't sign up. I signed up for this stuff. So all these fucking one-up, cool kid box, fucking Gamer Gear, all this gay shit that people are selling that are the exact same thing.

Probably do have random stuff. And these motherfuckers that have all our friends promoting just do themes. Hey, I bet the theme, what came out? Star Wars? Gee, I wonder what the fucking theme is for the last thing? Yeah, because it's monthly. It's monthly. You get it monthly.

So you feel like it's more just product promotion rather than, genuinely giving you something that you'd want. Yeah, it's like fucking... It's like you're basically paying a company to advertise to you. The lie, though. They will never tell you that. Yeah. And by... Well, we think this is what, you know, based on focus testing, this is what people want. Yeah, people...

No! This is making your bank account bigger, asshole. Liar. People want these... I think people really want this, like, a size one, fit no-one, the Kylo-Ring mask. That can't even fit on a baby's face. You get this, like, tiny little mask.

You're just like I can't I couldn't even wrap this around my head without it ripping like shredding my ears when the fucking wire pops I'm like you should have a little tiny mask in the hair your face I would love to see you get a Luke crate like a box of Luke crate clothes just put it on I even if it ritz I think I pretty much I think I have a shirt that's in a box It's it has like villains and it has like all the villains from Marvel It probably comes up to my tits. I look like put on the mask Yeah no I look like put on the hat Yeah, I'll put on the mask That stretches over and I'll put on my

Teenaging and Turtles Like Donatello Plastic goggles Slap that pink mustache out here And I'll come in and like, hey guys Just got back from Luca I'll do it I'll fucking do it

It will be fucking vile and gross And I don't think it's a single person And pass out on On camera Not only we get a billion views But you have a lawsuit That you can fucking sue all this motherfuckers Let's hear Jeff's thing

Because I also actually have a scam story This is a weird one You tell me at what point you feel this is a weird, shady situation, even though I'm not, I'm still not even sure. Is this worse than Indian Annie Johnson? I don't know. Well, here's what happened. I was here.

I'm knocking my door one day. I was asleep. I woke up. I go to the door. I'm drowsy. I'm just like when you're more susceptible to, I like to, I like to think I'm more susceptible to suggestion when I'm just waking up. Yeah, yeah, of course.

And this little, little Latino woman. She's like four people. I don't know. She's really short. Nice. Smiling. She's like friendly. And I'm like, you know, disarmed me.

And usually I'm like ready. I'm like, you know, what is gone? She's sitting there a little nice, like, you know, a nice little company shirt on, little embroidered logo. And she's like, hello, sir. Yes, I am with this so-and-so energy. And I said, well, I'm already paying Pico for my energy. That's like Philadelphia Energy Company.

They start telling you about rates and that you're being overcharged or that you have. No, so, yeah. So, yeah. So at first she's like, yes, you know, well, I said, well, I already have, I'm already paying Pico. And she's like, well, we can save you a lot of money. And I said, oh, really? Oh, yes. She handed all these pamphlets and forms.

And she's like, you know, just sign here and we'll save him money. Yeah. And I'm just like, my eyes are half shut. And I'm like, well, you look official. I guess I could sign it because I didn't give her any. You know, she's so short. How could you not trust her? She's like, can I say, yeah.

She's so friendly. And I wasn't given her my credit card. I was just signing some forms. And I'm like, well, how does this work? She's like, oh, yeah, we work through your current electricity company. Yeah. I'm like, all right. I guess I could try it.

But then at some point, I say to her, I'm definitely going to save money doing this. And then she's like, well, you might save, you might actually pay more one month. You might pay less one month. Yeah. I said, oh, really? So it was really just a total crapshoot. She's like, oh, it's more based on the market. You know, maybe you'll save some, maybe not.

These people work on commission. So they're running from door to door to door, trying to convince you as quickly as possible to sign up their shit. And then the last step is She's like oh and the last thing I need your phone I need to call my office with your phone Yeah she's really weird I hand over my phone up

And I'm like I'm the back of my mind I'm like this is just so strange And I don't want to do this but I'm just fascinating I'm just wondering where this is gonna go I give her my phone and she calls up She's like hello this is so this is like This is Maria and she said And she quickly hands the phone back to me

She's like okay Just wait here on the line eventually somebody will answer and just say you agree to these terms. Yeah, agree to all the terms in it. And she runs off. And I'm standing in my doorway in the rain, holding this phone, waiting for some stranger to come back, and she's gone. Okay, do you want me to tell you when it sounds shady?

Where? When she asked you to hand you your phone? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm standing there, I'm like, and while I'm waiting for this guy, I'm like waking up, I'm like, you know, maybe I don't want to do this. This guy came on, you like, oh, hello, sir, do you agree to all the terms? terms of conditions, I'm like, and I reiterated with him. I'm like, can you just, you know,

reiterate? So I'm definitely, there's no, there's no guarantee I'm going to save money. And he was like, no, no, there's no guarantee of that whatsoever. Yeah, because he's on, he's being recorded. So yeah, he has to do that. He's just blunt. I'm like, well, you know what? I think I'm just going to pass on this. And yeah, he's like, all right. Yeah, what is it? It was, what is it? It was, it was, look, basically, they were going to record his voice saying, yes, I agree to this. So they can, basically be like, oh, he agreed to this. They could use it in like laundering. Like they could go buy, get a bunch of money.

I don't know if that's exactly the case, but I don't know if that's not true because I had just really quick, the exact same thing happened but with newspapers. But it's interesting to me that the same method where the guy didn't have a phone, he just straight up didn't even have one. Yeah. And he was like, we need to call to confirm this. And then, you know, it's all seem legit. He put it on speakerphone.

We all sat around the table. We all had the pamphlets. And it was like, oh, hey, yeah, this is so and so. I'm calling in, you know, order. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I have them here. They understand the terms. Can we get a confirmation?

We actually did confirm, though. So that was a signing thing, not a phone thing. But the phone, that handing over the phone and them saying like, yeah, oh, yeah, I'm representing so-and-so, just say you agree. Sounds like a tactic. If she went to ran off so fast, maybe I would have agreed. I would just stand there alone with my own terrible thoughts, and I said, this isn't right. I'm going back to sleep.

This spell was broken. Yeah, she, she, I was. Her Latino gypsy smell. I was enchanted by this 45-year-old four-foot Latino on her. Little witch. It was a lie. It was all the lie. A little energy witch. Yeah, she was behind the building like this.

You couldn't see her, but she was waiting. She was like, waiting for you to press the button. It was a puff of purple smoke. Then you're just sitting there, like, she was actually an old hag. She's like, ah. But you know, you guys all have, like, stories of like, little fees, monthly fees you had to pay. And then you could, like, get out of it. Or in your case, you almost.

scammed right but I actually have been legitimately robbed to scammed just when I got out of the army this is the phase where you you don't have nothing you have nothing you have to like I was like I went to like a boxing factory to get money it was like this really shitty job and I was like this is a time in my life where I should get a driving license otherwise he'll be a nobody and my dad was always like you got to get a driving license I was like okay I'm gonna do it now is my time I've nothing I'm just working a shitty job and I'm tired when to get home I got to get a driving license.

So in Switzerland, if you want to get a driving license... Okay, sorry. You know before we were talking about how there's a nail that keeps getting pounded into your head? You don't have to correct yourself, but we call it a driver's license. It was bothering me too, but I'm sorry.

It's not your fault. I would have said, I got my Rover license. I'm not trying to be that dick. I'll try to say driver's license. It was just like after the fifth time I kind of felt like I did at least mention it, to throw the asterix up. I'll say driver's license.

Asterisks. I'll throw the asterisks up. I'm sorry. Because this in Switzerland, I will use the term dollars, but obviously we use Swiss francs, which is almost on par, if not a little more valuable than what the dollar is. Yes. But I'll just say dollars to make the more easier to understand. But in Switzerland, if you want to get a driver license, you must, by law, take lessons from a professional teacher.

And there has a minimum amount of lessons, which is around 10. And then you can do the test. They have that here too. Oh, they have that here too. Okay. So I called this guy up, who's a teacher. he says, okay, I can teach you how to drive. And it's not the automatic kind, as I was telling you.

Yeah, what do you call it? Manual, manual, manual. And he said, it was like $150 per lesson. Jeez. I know, that guy, and I was like, oh, man, but why, it's like all... How long were these lessons? One hour. It was ridiculous.

And it's like, that's so much, I guess, like, an entire afternoon has work for me. No, is this government run? Like, is it part of... No, no, he's a freelance guy. But he was, like, the only guy in my area because I lived in a shady town. And he talked, like, he was like this older guy who was like a math teacher, looked like a math teacher. Looked.

math teacher and he talked really slowly. Yeah. Hello, mister. How are you doing? Yeah. And so it always would always be like, okay, can we just, can you teach me how to drive? He's like, yeah. And he's like, he told me all the theory stuff with the, like with the same fucking

guy. I had to do lessons with theory. But you weren't even like in a car. Those also cost the same amount. Oh my God. And once I got the theory down, I said, cool, I did the theory test and I passed and that was pretty easy. And then I get to drive around with him.

10 lessons later, which is like more than a thousand. Like almost $1,500 of lessons later. I was like, okay, we can finally do the test, right? And he's like, guess what? To do the test, he drives me to the test because I'm not allowed to drive myself. Right. So that's $150. Oh, my God.

And then the test itself costs another $150 because it was a different guy. He's a test teacher. So that's $300 in that day. That's like, okay. And I do the test. I was like, eh? And he's like, no, you would be a danger on the road. Do it again.

Ten lessons again. Oh my God. I was like, okay, I was okay, maybe it's fine. I was just maybe because I didn't, I failed. I got to try better. I got to try harder. Another 10 lessons. No, you did.

No, you did it. I know, you did it. Oh my God. Everything me and I was working in and shitting boxing factory. You did a fucking blue collar job. It costs, I spent my army money on it. You had, you had the guy from fucking Ferris Bueller's They are. Tell you your fucking instructing direction.

I thought it was important. What did your family say when this happened? They say, get a driving. Oh, my God. And like, okay. And like, you know, like the neighbors, they walk up to see you driving around the car. And then when you're done, they're walking up. It's like, oh, you're finally going to get your driver license, eh?

Like, it's like this really important thing. I'm like, yeah, I'm becoming a man. So like everybody's like supporting you kind of justifying all of this. Okay, okay. I can't like make myself look like a fool. Dude, the second test day comes around. Do the same thing. It's entirely different guy this time. He's like, okay, I do the test. And he says, no, if you're not ready yet, again.

And I was like sitting in the car and I had one, I remember I had one more lessons out of the next 10 I was supposed to do. I had one more lessons. I want to sitting in the car. And he was like, yeah, this happens sometimes. Like, just keep doing it. I think the third time is going to work. Third time is a charm. And I was like, I don't want to do it anymore. Yeah. And he said, like, I never came across the case like this. This is so absurd. Why would you stop now? I've never seen anything like this. I just like, I don't want to do it anymore. Do you know why?

Because people would have already invested. I call it the subway theory where like when you're waiting for a subway train, like you've waited so long that eventually you can't leave. Because if you've waited for a, like, let's say you're in New York, right? It's late at night. You have the option to take a cab or to take a bus or a walk. But when you've waited 45 minutes for a train, there's a part of you that's like, well, if I leave now, it could show up in just five minutes.

Now, and every minute you stick around longer is another minute you've, invested but it's also another minute it could be coming that's so you the longer you stayed the more trapped you become and eventually you just have to say you might fuck it this train could come right right as I'm going up the stairs which does happen sometimes like fuck it I'm just getting the cab I don't even care when it comes and that's what you did I was but most people they just become they get more and more invested and they can't leave you know you know what I also think that that whole driver license thing that's completely bullshit you don't

need a driver license I don't have a driver license and it's just fine there's Uber and stuff yeah you don't need one. It is convenient to have the option. There are times where it would be, you know, like if you, if you need a, you know, to rent a vehicle and get somewhere, I do think it's beneficial. But this idea of taking the, first of all, $150 a day is so fucking incredibly ridiculous. It's one hour of a less than $150. No, no, that's so ridiculous. Second of all, at least here in America, there's two tests, right? There's like the written and whatever and the point and click test. And then there's the driving test. You can take that driving test as many times as you

want, I think you pay a little bit, maybe, like $20 or $0. I don't know what it is. It's not very much. But you certainly don't have to go through all the lessons again. Yeah. So you can, and some people it does take a couple of tries, but there is no way they force you to go through another fucking $1,500, 15 hours. Do you do what it was for, like, where I come from where it is to get your license? No. It's $35 to take the test and $14 for your license. But do you have to take lessons? No, you just take the test. Could you like just teach it to bed? In high school, I took driving lessons. Yeah, yeah. I was starting to help you.

It was like you dad just teach you how to drive. Oh, oh, there's like a rule. Yeah, you're right. There's a rule where you have to have recorded at least a year with an adult figure in the car. Yeah, yeah. It has to be a license. For some reason, in Switzerland, it needs to be a professional because they don't trust anybody else. That's fucking stupid.

You could just have someone who can drive. They're a professional. They got to fucking be or a dude. Somebody even has to be like a guy who teaches you like the correct way. Dude, that's absolute rip-off nonsense garbage. That sounds like that you're right, dude. And it's kind of makes sense why they make it such a big deal in Switchline because, like, oh, you're finally doing it. Like, you're doing that big step because it's like this really expensive thing.

And, you know, in the end, I was more than $3,000, like, shorter. Yeah. And I walked away with nothing but, like, bad experiences. I hope those guys, I hope that guy specifically has a head-on collision with an unlicensed driver. Yeah, but it's just his job. Like he's his job real. I know. I think of anything that the teachers who were.

at the test, they were kind of decks for just being like, again, like, not good enough. Like, they go, well, like, what were they measuring? Because I did it. I knew how to drive. They should have a clipboard, and they mark off every single thing, and then they hand it to you, and they say, these are the three things or the four things that you missed. That, you know, like, you couldn't parallel park, or you hit a cone when you did this turn, and that way you know exactly what you missed, so you know what to fix.

There is no cones. Do you know what? We don't drive with cones. Do you know what's... Do you drive on the actual road? Okay. Well, then they tell you that you miss this time. turn or you drove too fast so you know exactly what happened. Do you know what's

fucked up when I was learning how to drive before my just my license expired and never come back again? Donuts in your driveway? I don't know if I can say this because it's it was bad and I shouldn't have done it but it's you know it's like too late now and it's like what are you going to do? They're going to catch you now. I used to drive. I didn't have a license

but I used to drive at a park at night when there was no anyone it was like one in the morning and I used to drive around the park and I would learn how to turn that way and learn how to stop and like make landmarks. That's a very, that's one of those things like your dad or your uncle. Yeah, but my dad, and my dad, let's go drive.

Yeah, but my dad, I didn't have my license though, but my dad would be right next to me and he'd be like, before you get your license, you know, yeah, you can take your fucking test, but who cares? What you need to do is have actual driving experience before you actually go write your test. Yeah. I was saying to Chris, but if that's, I don't know if that's bad. Like, I was, I didn't have a license. No, that's not bad, dude. What would be bad if he was like, hey, let's go to the park in night.

I'll teach you how to drive here. You're not allowed to drive. drive so you can put your hands on the steering wheel. You've got to sit on my lap, though, and I'm going to push all the pedals. I drove. And that would be bad. I liked driving, but then I got- I have this weird thing, and I know, I have this weird thing when it comes to driving, and it's my own personal, like, phobias, but I freeze up when things don't go the way

when I'm driving. I'm alert. Everything's happening. But the second someone isn't driving properly, or they're coming too fast, or they're fucking up, or they're cutting in front of me, I freeze up. So I'm not going to drive in a car with you. Well, it's something. thing I have to get over. I need to go to a parking lot. A big abandoned amusement

amusement park parking lot. Cory, let's go to a parking lot. Well, I'll take you to a parking lot. Baby steps. I'm looking like Chris drive around my Jeep around a small parking lot. Oh, because he was, yeah, he was going to do the license. I guess. That's what I'm saying. Like, I need a park where it's just completely abandoned with like two cars and it's an amazingly big parking lot. It's absurd though. I failed my, I failed my written test twice. My mom was pissed. Me too. That was challenging, but the actual driving test is absurdly simple. It is. Yeah. That is weird. The guy, this guy who doesn't

give a shit gets in the car with me. He's like, okay, driving this track around a circle and then parallel park. Another thing, like, when it comes to that, when you're talking about, like, it's so much easier to drive than take the test. Because in the fucking test, they have situations where you only run into them on occasion. Like, oh, there's a giant fucking semi in your way.

Here's this blind spot. Here's this blind spot. Here's all the other areas you can see. Here's what he can see. What area should you be in at what sort of time? And it's like, I don't know. When I'm fucking in that situation, you have any semi-situations we have a semi at that exact time? He's just embarrassing to hear stories like Shad's story where like, you know, clearly he got scammed in like this system.

And then here I was on fucking 76 East. Just today, driving from town to town back to the house, there was at least five people that were not only not signaling, but they were speeding and weaving through traffic. And somebody felt at some point that it was totally okay to hand these people a license. Each one of those guys is a fucking wreck waiting to have it. Every day, I just see people. I don't understand how they. ever. There's people who come to a

complete stop on an on ramp. Or don't know that don't know what a turn signal is. They don't use turn signal. They don't use turn signal. They think like some accessory. Like they're just something like Oh yeah. They drive through the curve rain and just keep going straight and you're like that doesn't make sense. To be fair, all the stuff you're talking about is in Switzerland

like not the case. Everybody can properly drive. Like and get their roads feel really safe. Maybe that. Maybe that that maybe they're just that $4,500 license really mental lot to them. Yeah.

Maybe that dish is really hard. Because I was going to say it's almost the opposite here, because I've heard a lot of cases where people said that in the test, like after they took the test, the tester that they had looks over and is like, I don't know, I could go either way on this. Like, you know, you did miss a car. I probably shouldn't do this, but yeah, you can get a license. And they just like signed the thing. They're like, yeah, fuck off.

Some of the people start crying and stuff and they're like, okay. Before you come in and there's like this girl, her like tits are hanging out. She was just barely legal. And she's like, I gotta get ready to go to the prom. You know, I gotta have the nice, like, Corvette. And he's just like, well, you know. Promise me you'll be careful.

He's like, can he get out of the car and do a spin for me? Here's your license. I'll say this. You let's hear you, the car test. If you're listening to this and you're, let's say you're 15 or 16 years old, be prepared to lose a few friends. You're going to lose a few in the next few years. You know what?

You know what happened to me? My license. They're going to crash. People are going to, it's inevitable. Oh, I thought you were to lose friends because as soon as you got your license, all your friends are going to fucking, they were just going to ride in, they were going to freeload in your car, not pay for gas, they were going to eat in the back of your car, leave all the trash everywhere. You'd go to a party, they're going to puking the back seat, and it's not even going to be your car, you're going to be driving your parents car. Then you had to explain why your friends were either, A, in the, you know, in your car to begin with, because you weren't even supposed to take the car out, but B, why it smells like fucking puk and booze in the back in the car because you weren't supposed to be going to a party in the bus. It's more like, it's more like they're going to disqual to decide to pass a car on a blind turn and you'll never see them again. That's what I meant. So are you saying you know a lot of people who died in car crashes?

I know, I know at least half a dozen people who died. I know quite a few too, but more on bikes than cars because of Switzerland. One guy, a lot of them, half of them are during winter. Oh, yeah. Winter, winters, man, do this. I've gotten in so many near, like, death car accidents with my friends. Yeah. Just be eating food and suddenly the car spins out of control and there's cars everywhere and I'm just like, I'm going to die with a fucking burger in my head.

I'm just, for some reason that the series of events you just described, you're driving, you start eating food, your car suddenly begins to spin out of control, and as soon as your car is done spinning, there's just cars everywhere. I'm just care, like, the imagery of like the series of events. If there's roads coming in your car, you're spinning out, there's fucking cars like this way, and you're just like, yeah, somehow I never, you know, never happened. But there's been times where, and this is another thing, like, I don't know if it's anecdotal evidence or if it's like my own, like, observation. but have you seen how old people fucking park? Have you seen like some old people like are on curbs and shit and it's just like

me and Lexi were at Target and this like old motherfucker was near the door with his car where the fucking automatic door opens he was like a fucking five feet away and it's like that can't be where what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? He's an old man he should be. He can't even crazy. They can do whatever they want it's there should be like a rule where

it's like okay um there should be a certain age where you have to repeal your fucking... It's true, it's true, but people of races got their own race cars, they keep close to their pocket. Old people, they know they got the old people car. You think they accidentally can't hear things at times, convenient

times, they accidentally park their car inside of the doorway of Target? You think that's all an accident? Make it's ages. No, no, no, no, no, they are fully aware. They are fully aware. They're gonna, they're gonna have those eyes kind of wandering around, like they're lost when they do something

wrong, and as soon as they turn around, they're oh I'm sorry I didn't see you there they turn around oh that fucker that little fucker that little motherfucker that little motherfucker that happened to me and Shabbard he said oh that guy fuck you you motherfucker yes that's here now to talk about oh the old guy across the street or something no no we didn't this door he was just I don't know if it was just like what we were talking about offended him but he was just like adamant about screaming I don't even remember what we were talking about we were just talking about we were just like you mother fucker you fucker and he like wade outside and he was still

screaming and I was like, I don't want to go out there. He just walked up, you motherfucker. He looked like Doc Broward. Yes! Yes! He was insane and he was pacing back and forth and looking at us outside. I'm like, he's going to kill us.

He's probably at a point. We looked exactly like to. Just a bunch of fun-loving kids. It would have been him. He would have been happy to do it. I was some old family man and I was listening to the conversation if you were having, I'd do that. It's the same thing. You know, we were like, we weren't talking about, like, eating ass

and, like, horse fucking weird. He would have gone outside. We were having a polite discussion about, well, like. I'm on his side. Yeah, dude, he would have gotten into his, like, handicapped spot and his freaking, in his fucking vehicle and just drove it right in the store and run you guys over. You should have seen his eyes.

There was, like, true anger and maniac in those eyes. Very mad. And then the lady next step was, like, doing it. She was, like, we were just, like, buying, like, candy and shit. It's really hard for me to determine if he was crazy or the, legitimately just upset. I know. I know.

That's what I don't get, because he was still screaming while people were looking at him. He was so pissed. So he clearly got all this stuff and he knew to leave, but he still was turned and screaming at. And it's like the idea

of pissed off, Doc Brett, calling you guys motherfuckers outside of his store. I got yelled at before, but I used to work in a supermarket when I was a teenager. Why did you yell that?

This old man was looking for carrot juice, and there was not. What really? Carriage juice. He lost his fucking mind on me. What? He was like threatening.

He was like, Get me the manager right now. He's pissed. This is like, dude, there's no carrot juice. I was just confused with you where I'm like, I don't, I don't know. I'm walked away. This old man is just screaming at an aisle of food. You get back here, you can't run.

You know where the carrot juice is. Oh, back in the day this would have had carrot juice and it's not here anymore. Did we ever go over like bad movie theater stories? No. I have one. I actually had one when I was in Illinois. You can go first. Because I also kind of wanted to talk more about, because you guys are talking about old guys, and I really want to say this Greyhound story.

Yeah, yeah. There's a guy I met in a Greyhound story. Well, I shouldn't say that. I was just playing an iPhone game and this fucking guy. He was like, he was like behind a trash can. He was like, hey, what the hell is that thing? And I'm like holding the iPad like this sitting there. And I'm like, it's an iPad.

He's like, he's like, you want to know something? And he's like, he's like, kids these days, they have their face in their iPad. They don't even know what color the sky is. Oh, it's like that love. Yeah, and he's like, yeah, but you know what's really funny, and this is fucking hilarious. He goes on a rant about how he travels and him and his friend, and he says this thing about his friend, he opens up his laptop. And this is, and he's like, first of all, he opens up his fucking laptop. Right.

So he's, he's scolding me for having a fucking iPhone, and he pulls out his fucking laptop out of his dirty backpack, and he puts it on the fucking trash can, and then he turns it around, and he's like, isn't that a pretty cat? and it was like a leopard or something on his fucking minor desktop thing I'm like yeah that's nice cat yeah and he's like that's my brother's cat let me tell you something about this potential cat this cat this cat was the nicest fucking cat you ever saw and he went on a ramp it was an actual leopard it was a leopard that was declawed as he told me and he said that in his story fucking national geographic

yeah it was nearly save as wallpaper it looked like one of those national geographic books you know like with fucking geo books It has like pictures of lines and shit. It looked like that. And he's telling me his brother had like a fucking jaguar or something. And a bulldog killed the fucking cat. And he's like talking about how the world perceives like wild animals.

And it was just a defenseless animal too. And I'm like, I'm sorry your fucking crazy leopard got killed. Your brother's leopard died, dude. Sorry. And he's just like, I love Pink Floyd. And he's talking about all this fucking music now is all noise. You know what I'm saying? He kept fucking saying that too.

Fucking Lexi Like he kept them being like He was holding like a water bucket He's like this isn't water You know what I'm saying This is this is that other stuff The shit that gets you fucking waste Yeah fucking LSD

Yeah no he was just like He was this old smelly hippie He was out of his fucking mind And he was playing First of all he was like Let's play the like he's like I'm gonna play some good stuff And he's putting like fucking pink Floyd

And all this old shit Which was good like 70s 80s rock and stuff And he was playing it But he was blaring it through the entire fucking greyhound station and everybody who was sleeping

because it's two in the fucking morning Cory, he's blaring. You know what? You, by placating him and letting him open those floodgates when all those sleepy people who just wanted to get to their destination

open their eyes, just cracked them open and we're trying to look for the source of this disturbance. You know what they saw? They saw you next to him. They thought you were cohorts. And when you got on that bus,

everyone on that bus wanted to fucking murder you. This is the best part. Okay, so after him and Lexi give me a lecture on good music and like a good old, he's like, you know, he played fucking like air guitar, he'd be doing it in his seat and he'd be like how old is this guy? He'd be fucking, he told me he was 50 and he said in his youth

he could do all this stuff like you could run 30 miles and it's just like, cool dude, I'm glad you were fucking amazing on your LSD trips. And you know, I was trying to be nice and talk to him because he already made me feel bad and I already put my iPad up because I didn't want him playing me with my fucking iPad or he'd school me again about not knowing what color

the sky is. So what ended up happening was after he showed me all this stuff, he's like, you see that icon? It was like cookie monster with vegetables. He's like, what the fucking hell is this shit? Cookie monster doesn't eat fucking vegetables. You know what I'm saying? And I was just like, I was afraid that he was eventually just going to beat my ass. I was just agreeing with him because he was scaring me at that point. But then he, then he fucking told me he's like, you got an internet source? And then I'm like, yeah. And then he's like, look up the YouTube channel, Yorick 442 And he's like, you see that channel?

Give it a few like, share it to a few people. I want to get some views. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And he was fucking, he was promoting his YouTube channel and he was scolding me. Dude, if you had a Wi-Fi connection, you could have ended the conversation.

He's like, man, you don't know what color the sky is. You'd be like, yeah, and you just Google it and be like, there you go. Show him on your fucking iPad, be like, guess what? Fuck off all over me. I was afraid he would pull out like a fucking 12 gauge and shoot my head off. He looked like that kind of person.

You just blow your head off. Know what I'm saying? This is the 12-gay shotgun. Eventually, like, after he was just playing music and stuff, and after he showed me his YouTube channel, and I convinced him that I had it open on my fucking iPad. His bus came, and he was leaving. Hey, what kind of content was it?

It was just, like, music. It's like fucking all this music. Can we look? I want to find a channel. Yeah, we should look up his channel. What was it? I just want to say what he said was, you know, all these young people,

they think that they're smart with their smartphones, but they're not smart. Because they can't look up and see what the sky is. Yeah, exactly. It was like sage advice from some psycho was trying to show me his YouTube channel about 70 songs. It's a cute lying up. It is cute.

It's cute. And it's true. Clearly, just because you have a smartphone doesn't make you smart. And clearly, young people have fused vertebrae in their necks and they are unable to look up. Part of that generation. He was drunk.

That's why he was playing air guitar to plink Floyd in a fucking place. Because no one else in the right of mind. would do that. I'm part of the smartphone generation, but I fully agree that, yeah, we look at our phones way too much. We do, yeah. It's true. Someone made, like, a famous painting about some, like, weird distorted face with the nose looking down, and it's just, like, our generation. was making a blight on our generation and he was talking about that and I'm like okay I'm sorry you know we live

yeah I enjoy the fact that I can have internet whenever I want and that I like Wi-Fi and yes I am connected to the internet all the time Is there a problem with it? Maybe I want to live my life connected to the internet But at the same time it's true that we don't need to know what our Twitter status is 24-7 No it's true true but then he was like scolding me for not knowing how to skin a fucking animal Yeah before that he's like if someone has put you in the wild and give you a nice and you would have lived there for a month,

I bet you wouldn't be able to fucking kill a single thing. You know what I'm saying? And you'd be like, I knew how to skin an animal, I knew how to make a house, and I'm like, it's just like, imagine someone with an iPhone

and the guy's telling you about survival stories. You know, my dad's friends, say shit like that. Yeah, is this dude's like, like 50-something, he's talking about survival. It's like, you know what, motherfucker?

Pretty sure I could attempt to survive if my life depended on it. Okay, you know what? You know, just because I don't know how to skin a fucking animal, I could figure other stuff out. Yeah. So just because you're fucking bare grills in the making.

Any time they do that, I love it when they tried to drop that on you, like, because my ex-father-in-law, he had some friends that, you know, is, oh, you don't know how to chop down a tree correctly or you don't know how to do these things. And granted, these are good skills. But if you're going to get in my face old, man, listen, I got all the respect for you. But don't, don't try to drop, don't try to guilt trip me because I don't know how to, like, defeather a fucking bird. Or a skinny animal. Because the next time you try to ask me how to forward an email, I'm going to tell you, you know what I mean? You know what it was? There's clearly different skill sense and abilities that we all have.

He's treating me like you're some little hairless kid with a little fun. Like you're 25, you're a man with a beard. Yeah, I'm just sitting there and I'm being polite and being like, mm-hmm. You know, it's like Pink Floyd, like they were progressive at the time. If you could appreciate Pink Floyd, you should also appreciate what's progressive right now. Right, exactly. And this is just one of those things where it's like, they're like, I don't care about what now, but you need to care about what I like.

And it's like, fuck you, dude. It's like take your own advice. Fucking and you know what? I didn't even subscribe your fucking YouTube channel so fuck you You should have looked him dead in the face and been like, wait, this video

and then slowly hovered over the thumbs down and just click the dislike button You would fucking beat me to death was Jaguar on that time