SleepyCabin - SleepyCast S2:Lost Episode - [The Marsquatch]

Episode Date: March 20, 2016

Zach, Chris, and Mick send Cory to Mars... but he's not alone. What NASA won't tell you, what the world doesn't want you to know... is revealed to you in appetite-defying gory detail. Also, sasquatch-Jesus. The 2nd coming. Honestly, I don't even know anymore. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Your hosts for the evening: Oney (www.youtube.com/user/OneyNG) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/user/Spazkidin3D) Zach (www.youtube.com/user/psychicpebbles) Mick (www.youtube.com/user/ricepiratenewgrounds) Podcast editing by: Chris (Oney) - Main Edit Mick (Ricepirate) - Final Pass Music by : Kevin Macleod http://incompetech.com +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Shane Danells . Ryan Pagonis . Creeps McPasta Brian Adam . Jace Baker . Denis DeLong Liam Staley . Sonny Canchola . Paul Raymond Lucas Boucher . ubernoobinator . Matt Gronhovd Rodolfo Davis Millet . Corbin Record . Dean Borris Andrew Dore . Elecktricd00m . Kellen Dani Rucker . Dazzanator . Conner St. John Phillip Tafoya . Hudson Heitmeier . Sam Child Yuval Birenzweig . Dan Jakab . Chaney Rockwell Jacob Arends . Chris Moore . Shane Liesse Blake Bevill . ChewySmokey . aguynamedGeoff Bill Zhuang +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

This is a sleepy cast lost episode. The Marsquatch, featuring Spaz Kid, Rice Pirate, Oni, and Psychic Pibbles. My name is Captain Dickhead. One time a bunch of ants mistook my Pena's for a Cheeto, and they tried carrying it to their beautiful queen. But I kept pulling them back towards me with tension from my Penae's muscles, And I came on them and killed them and because of the horrible guilt I have barely gotten a night's sleep since. What is the Pittsburgh do again? He's like crazy, Bobby.

No, why it's his head sort of like, yeah, babb-bba-ba-be-ba-be-be. Yeah, that's the last. Yeah, that's the last. Yeah. Baa-ba-ba. That's the opening. Oh, Scott. Oh, Kaskaraga.

Skak. What's a-gara? Oh, Skagara. Oh, Skara? No. No. I got, I, I, scro-ry. Ah!

Chris, yeah. Introduce this, start the show off with a bang. Hey, y'all, welcome again to another exciting episode of Sleepin'Cast, starting with my friend on the right. Corey. And me, Chris. And you.

What, what, what, what, I'm, I'm, I'm your friend. The heck. Yeah, and the one last guy. Hey, guys. Hey, Mick. Hey. Chris. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask my, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm,

Fuck out. We're gonna talk about exciting topics today. I don't know what yet. Yeah, do we have any? Oh, I know what? There's a good one. This one's the true zinger. All right? How many of you guys would go to Mars? No. I wouldn't want to go to Mars because I just wouldn't know what I would do. Can you imagine if you went and like your ship just happened to have all the douchebags on it? Like all the fucking weirdos that you hate? I mean, like, like, they play music that you hate. Like, when you look at it at the big beautiful blue sky, you're not though like, ah, I'd feel happy. And then you go to Mars and you've evolved to like the blue sky. Do you think that would be like, oh, depressed looking at a big red sky all day.

Not even that, you're also stuck at a fucking tube. Yeah. You can't go outside, really. Yeah. It's like heavy as shitty. It's like perjutor. You're stuck with the shitty weird. Even if you go outside, you're going to wear a big fucking costume.

It's not worth it. I don't just live in your shitty dead town. If you had your spacesuit on, though, you could, like, jog forever. You also would be the first person to walk on them. You also need oxygen, though. I don't want to be the first person to walk on Mars. Why? Because I'd rather just not go.

Don't little RC cars do that? That's the footage of these RC cars on Mars fucking do sweet tricks off these ramps I've seen it. Or a radio signal to get from Earth and Mars, how long would that take? How over a long? It's like you're loading point, like how long would it take? Light speed? Light speed?

Right? I mean, assuming so. I don't think, like, it was still- Yeah, no, it still takes time. It was still take a few minutes, right? No, it still, because even in that movie, The Martian, it's not light speed. It took like 15 minutes just to get like a fucking text message across. Yeah, no, no, I'm wrong. It's the speed.

It's the speed of sandwich. You have five kilobytes a year. Sounds horrible Sounds like hell You've been loading up U-Porn And it would take a month Just to get the thumbnails

On the front to load You'd have already come Like so many times You just didn't care anymore What if, okay What if you're lying in your bed In your little area Of the base on Mars

And you look out There's a sandstorm happening Yeah And you look out into the sandstorm In the dead of Mars night And you see the Marsquatch Standing there Fucking destroy

What's just like It's a big hairy red It's a big red Fucking orangutan man Yeah I open the bird window's like, fuck you and close the window. He fucking runs over.

Yeah, what just roll your window down? You roll the window down to the space base? I, I roll down, I say, shut up. This is the legendary Marsquatch. He's got, like, really long at arms. Little did you know that I said the secret code that makes him He can dunk a basketball really easy. Can't turn him at the sand until the full moon comes up.

I did by that ruin of handsides. I made him vanish in the sand. I cursed him back to what's from where he came. So this is the real question here. There's Mars squatches. There's no internet. Okay, you know what? There is internet, but it's so slow.

And there is a rocket that comes every 15 years to pick people up. A comet? No, a rocket. No, it's a comet. There's a comet that floats between Mars and Earth. It goes in like a figure 8. You throw up your grappling hook and head on. Yes, yeah, exactly.

Corey, would you want to Mars if once every month at a random time you never know when, a big version of your face comes out of the sand, it starts screaming like from the mummy, it starts screaming just evaporates back into the sand? And it scares the fuck it every two years. It probably wouldn't scare the fuck in me because I might be doing something like going to the bathroom We're like loud noise to the window. It's only ever when you're by window.

It screams really close to the window like the mummy. But it's anyone's face, right? No, it's just cori's. It's always Cori's face? Yeah. It just evaporates. Can the scientists see it? No, only core could see it.

I feel like it would be better if it was just random people on Mars. So if there's like 100 people on Mars, it could be any one of their faces. So every time it did it, it would freak people out, but everyone would look anyways just to see whose face it was. Yeah, and if the face comes out. comes out and it goes back in who's gonna die. So if it's like a group thing, there's like 14 people there, head pops out, it's like, oh, you're gonna die.

It's like the thing of Mars Squatch. Like, how did you know? The Marsquatch comes. They come to this group of Posse. He comes and grabs you. It's posse. He grabs you, pulls you outside. Yeah. Ah! He comes up and starts whispering in your big sand guy here. Well, your fucking head explodes, your eyeballs flip out. You know, like, twisting her head and looking at him laughing at you.

The worst part though is with Marsquatch whiz whispering you the sand deer, the sand deer, the same guy starts to laughing you really hard. You never know what they're laughing at. It's too late though. Your head got turned inside out because of the air pressure. Your fucking head exploded. It goes, oh, ha, ha, ha.

He goes back. They're definitely looking at you. You know, they dive back and they dig back into the sand for the next person coming out. You're like, Corey, what if? Would you want to go to Mars? So I'm a group of people where if a head pops out, the fucking Bar Squatch comes, there's nothing you can do to stop him. It's like it follows, you can break through the door and take you anywhere. So you, you, you're room, right?

It has an unlimited supply of chocolate and unlimited supply of milk. Okay. Gross. Shit, what do you let copy? Limitses fly coffee. A little bit of Slash CS3 licenses to drop horn with it. If it's dark chocolate, that's cool. Dark chocolate?

Dark chocolate? Yeah. Sign me up, please. But there's a big sand, Corey had and a, you know, Marsquatch, and they burrow under your room and start knocking on it at night time. Why are fucking Marsquatch is like knocking into my fucking bed while I'm trying to sleep? On the fucking floor. Well, sand guys laughing. Corey.

You open a trap door, Corey. I don't want to let Mark. His fucking mouth is inside the trapdoor. You'll feed him chocolate or you kick him. I kick him to show him who's boss and be like, fire a new victim! Boy, his big fucking umcoasters just grabbing at your legs. You can't, you know what he looks like?

He looks like the fucking, um... What do you can't? He can't do that, like that? You can't do that. Meanwhile, your big sand head is pushing his lips against your window, go. Oh, oh, dog! What's the point? What am I supposed to do?

The hard squash is screaming and laughter. That's the question. He looks like, I'm picturing the fire squatch looking like that big fucking Ska- What's his thing? He's on fire now? How do they want to fire from the sun? No, Mars has all of them. Sorry, is the Mars Squash?

The sand squash and the fire squatch. Listen. Okay, so the fire-firing squad, fucking, uh... I'm picturing him look like, uh, Pan's Labyrinth. You know that weird orange monster with a green face? The pale man? And that has like a fucking like, no, the monster the girl teams up with in Pan's Labyrinth. Oh, the, the monster the girl teams up with in Pan's Labyrinth.

The Pan? You know what I'm talking about? He's like this orange like monster she's with... Fucking Trump? Is that the... Is Pan's Labyrinth the one with Billy Idol? Not Billy Idol, uh... Oh, are you talking about the labyrinth?

Yeah, the Labyrinth. David Bowie? Yeah, David Bowie. That's Larry. The orange monster and David Bowie. The... What's... ...auburned.

It's called him. It's called him. ...because he's dead! You know the orange monster I'm trying to fucking say. The orange monster. I can't remember the most. What's your point, Cole? Yes, we get it, what?

That's what he looks like. Fuck you, Guy. We played 20 questions so you can say that. He carries his fucking bag full of swamp farting, farting swamp. Cool, can I say the idea of a fucking fatter, saskwatch is also really scary. Yeah. Imagine the classic Sasquatch where it looks back, but it's fucking on fire. Yeah, it's just like visualized.

There's a sandstorm going on in Myers, dead of night. The big, Myers base is right there, and then there's this, like, you can see a glow coming through the sand. Yeah. Yeah, lighting up the sand as it comes through. Oh, that's beautiful. T-posed and Marsquatch, blasted fire from both ends up and down. Okay, you're going full-speed at two tables. It's making the nice imagery.

Coring as it comes to. Cora, here's a real hard ball. You're camping in the woods. Wait. You eat a fucking fat marshmallow, Coring. What about Mars? We'll get back to that a second. Cora, you can see, you can see big beautiful Mars up there, giggling back at you.

It's the woods on Mars. Corr, you eat a fucking fat marshmallow. I don't like eating fat marshmallow. Cori, you hear, ooh. You're in the tent sleeping, What do you do? I'm in my tent sleeping. I assume it's an owl, because it's what I'm like.

No, Corey, but here's what you hear. So I usually assume it's up. Corey, bion. It says my name. It says your name. Peaked my interest to come outside. You open it out. Cory, there you see a satchhugged up like Jesus Christ, screaming on fire.

This is Corey. I pay for your sins and he dies. What do you do, Corey? So he looks like the red monster from... No, he's just a regular satsch at fires. on the cross. He's died because of your sin. Quarly, little nose are spirit of screaming,

looking at you, told me you. The Jesus baby comes out of him. It comes out of him. It falls down from his pussy, and it comes out. And it's also like, You're saying Sasquatch because of Jesus through his pussy?

As the legend foretold. The second coming in Christ would not happen to you because of a sand squash because of your sins. Do you think people, I wonder how many... This is the retelling of how when Peter saw the girl come

with the devil, and then the devil ripped out the woman the pregnant woman's chest of the stars looking around her head I told the story It's not Looney Tunes She didn't get fucked in her head She had birds fight her in her head She's fucking like the devil made cry

I told you this story before Yes you did It was like the person You know how like the heaven and hell And Satan and God It was just like a vision It was a vision This is the second vision

Me I am Paul The guy who's write down the scriptures I witness The Burning Sand Squat How do you write down? How do you write the Bible? How do you write to do you write the chapter? I write I have just witnessed

The foretelling of the future Right A fire sand squash came to me in the woods screaming I've died for your sins Suddenly a baby falls from his twat It is the second coming This is real and then I send it I send it you have to write this is real

I write it in a book and be like the real thanks much I have a screen cap of some scary Pokemon And I take a picture of it but I have a really old camera So you have to cross out the eyes You send it a CD of fucking Lavender Town play You're like listen to this while you read this You will be scared guaranteed Who do I said this to?

Jesus.com? The president of the church. I sent it to Trump and I'm going to listen, future president. Here you go. Trump's like, I sent him the story of my squunch, the new coming. God is real. Your words are slowly forming into pure nonsense. Scudgeoning, a word of podcast.

What would Trump say? This is a huge problem. We need to get rid of fire, say squash. We need to do it quickly. But sir, why about second coming of Christ? To quiet, you're a loser. I'm not a loser. Look at you.

You're disgusting. You have a lot of breasts. Why? Ha ha! He screams. I voted for Bernie, you fucking asshole. He melts. Like the wicked witch.

He's just bubbly. All this left is fucking his huge penis. This is a puddle of orange. Trump's fucking the four-time future. His fucking big meaty trunk. His big orange yellow tip penis. What is this mean though? What is this like, am I not?

Am I not? Now the Beholder of the future San Squatches? Cori. The fire's sanchoches. Corey, do you think people would still worship Jesus if he was a saskatch? If the whole story of Christiania was the exact same, but just he was a saskatch. So Jesus was just like, Harry Man? Mary with a sasquatch.

No, just Jesus. Oh, everybody else has identical. So Mary gave birth to a sasquatch. Yes. So all these, all these, all these. Full grown Sasquash came out of her. Does he still have this iconic beard? Yes.

He still has the iconic beard. He still has the iconic hole in hand. So all these dirty Jews hold him off and fucking poke sticks at him. All he still like. I think Corey said dirty Jews because they lived in the sand and it wasn't very clean. No, it's because they're filthy and have their nose. Oh my God. They stink like those fucking penny wrappers that you put pennies and stuff.

You've been listening to too many stories. Too many stories of fucking space station Jesus. Did you just read that pamphlet? No. I have it at the house. It basically talks about how heaven is a space station just outside of our solar system. I remember that. And they're like, what is it?

It's like, it's a beautiful space. Oh, when's it going to be built or something? It's like, it's already in the process of being built. It's got lots of rooms and amenities for all the people that would be going to heaven. Is it supposed to destroy the Earth? No, no, no. It sounds like they took the fucking... Like the fucking Death Star?

It sounds like you took the plot from Psychiatry 2 from Dr. Edman. That's what they did. Don't be fucking Space Station that's on the Earth? Yeah, and they call it heaven. Yeah. The big egg thing is based off of the Death Star anyways. The egg? What egg?

The big aid fortress in the sky. circle thing that you're talking about yeah it's based off the doc the death egg yeah that's what's called yeah it's called the death egg yeah it's the star wars I didn't know that one it's Sonic 2 is it 2 or 3 he makes the death egg oh it's Sonic 3 okay yeah it makes the death egg and Sonic no it's Sonic 2 because he goes I'm talking about it's like adventure 2 no that's space colony arc dumbass yeah fucking idiot get with it retard like what's the arc of Sonic 3 it's like he's fucking in Hamel Camelot like he's fucking in Hamelot like he

He wears like fucking Excalver armor. The Black Knight's and shit. Sonic in the Pock Night. Why did that ever happen? That Sonic in the cuckold's fantasy. Sonic is watching even get pounded by a big fucking BBC. That's what he would do. I'm gonna.

Yeah, give me that chili dog. Like that, Corey? That's a very funny game. There's no... The only song I ever like... The only Sonic I ever like... With Sonic Adventure 2. That's only because I was a little kid.

I'm gonna... That's all folks. I'm gonna... Let's talk about... Wait, hold on. We're just gonna dodge out of the... out of the fire, St. Squatch, coming. Corey, let's go back to it, okay?

You clearly are obsessed with it. You guys just touched it. You just put it out there and then got rid of it. No, let's continue. Okay. Mick, do you remember that time we did that whole roleplay thing where you went to the alien ship? Yes.

Why don't we do that with Corey? Absolutely. Okay. You go. Okay, Corey, you've been selected as prime candidate to be alone on Mars, just like in that movie Moon. Okay. Except, instead of, you know,

taking care of the moon and harvesting rocks, you get to play Sonic Adventure 2. and get all the emblems. I hate that fucking game. You have to get perfect A's. And we're talking to all the emblems, all A's, all pink A's, as they say. So they come to me, it's like, We need you to play Sonic Adventure 2, get all the emblems,

I would have just been like... Corey, this is the smallest part of the story. So you get set the marks to do that, right? That's such a big task already. You've got three years to do, it's fine. They give you free chocolate, free coffee. Yeah, you gotta leave her, you pull, a bunch of chocolate falls on the floor.

I get a huge, I get a little laugh it, and the water falls into my hamster wheel, you guys. They dangle chocolate, brother, you? You got a little sandpit in the corner to sleep in? I do. And you're poop in, too. Yeah, so you're good, okay?

We don't dig too deep. However, Corey, on your first night of sleeping there, you... Well, I have a question. Okay, what's your question? Will it be a bumpy ride? Will I have my fucking cage get shaken up and all my... Sand goes everywhere? Speaking as...

What if my sand gets in my dark chocolate and my water? Corey, there's a big lever on the wall that sucks everything out. It's going to get slow and then I'm like... It's a hall just big enough so that you won't get sucked there, but everything else will. Just beat up your dick, but don't do it, Corey. It's not working. Cory, but here. I'm like trying to reach the lever, but it's too high.

It's just within our research. You're only allowed to do that three times before we just leave you on Mars and give up on you for being retired. You forgot. They shoot a fucking ducle. There's like three X's like three X's that they all lay up that you sleep and look at every night. Okay, so it reminds you. Once you get an X, it goes up for two hours. There's a big log beep that goes up to train around.

Yeah. guy got BAM BAN And you're like, ugh, but anyways But my brain only works so fast if I see another hole we do it again Cory, look this is how it works, okay? There's a feces hole in the wall, you pull the lever, you put your ass against it, you shit outside and it gets sucked the It goes to the alien's bell There's no aliens, there's alone, I'm married

You do know that there has to be some like holes around his butt, you know, otherwise there would be like a vacuum it would suck his Intristen It would be like a... Your eyes would get sucked through your eyes It's their fucking skull There's no alien, but the toilet is just like your mouth. It looks like your face. It's a perfect replica of your face.

Cory, only you can shit in it. It scans your assholes so it knows that's you, okay? It's an audio recording of you going, ob, blah, blah, whatever you shit. Yeah, that was part... That was part of the signing up. You have to get a recording of your voice doing that. I'd be laughing, huh. Yeah.

Anyways, so you got your water, your chocolate, your coffee. Can I train, like Goku date up to Nanak? There is. hyper time chamber. There's a hyperbolic time. It's only one foot though. Yeah, it's only He's got a roll into a sonic like ball. It can only fit like a hamster, like a right. What? Yeah, it can look inside of it though. It's virtual reality so it seems a lot bigger than it really is. Just look at this box like, whoa! No, basically you get in a forward roll position and the gravity just spins you around in a ball,

but you have to be like rolled in a ball and this spins you in a ball really fast. You can put your hand inside of it. The cool thing is that's also your TV, so if you want to be inside the movie Harry Potter, it wraps around you. It's stretches the image really badly. However, you are inside the movie. So it's Sonic Spinball all around the Hogwarts. You can play Sonic Spinball. That's the only game you have, apart from Dragon Ball, Budokai. I thought he's like Sonic Adventure. Well, he's got Sonic Adventure.

That's... That's not... That's a separate system. I would rather watch Hogwarts. That's what he gets to Mars. This is on his way. Swelling around Hogwarts on a... It'll be stretched to ramp, so it'd be like really, really wide screen. The audio's really compressed. Yeah, they can only fit so much audio. It's 240p quality. The audio is clipping really loudly.

It has to compress everything. to a floppy disk because they didn't want to send a hard drive and I get these and ms ms the movie's cut to like 15 parts you have to insert floppy disks every four minutes that was that worth it chose me Corey we're spinballing in that closet at that point next question you've got your entertainment this is still the setup for the fucking hypothetical oh it's fine you got all the shit okay you got your bed what else do you need that's all I need he doesn't have a bad you really he's a pile fucking sannie he's a shit in he's got a sand he has to

expanse of space you got to go out and dig you know myersand and put it in yeah in your spacesuit they can do you So you gotta change your own litter, which is kinda shitty, but... It's a small price to pay. There will be feces particles in your room at all times. Do I get a little red barrel I can bring, or red... Pail? Cory... Well, bringing out a red barrel is bound to get it lost.

Yeah. It's gonna be blue. Just accept the fact that occasionally you're gonna wake up after you roll around and you're gonna look in the mirror and there's gonna be a turd stuck to the side of your head. Why do I have a sandpit? Where's my bed? It's... You know, NASA can't afford beds right now, so... They can... They spin all the money of the chocolate and they'll... Yeah, and the hyperbolic time change. Okay, so I now have diabetes because I just need nothing but dark chocolate.

And I need insulin shots every few seconds because of their... They trained you to go out and like find rocks to eat, so you're fine. There's plenty of nutrients. They cured diabetes by now. I could squeeze out the water or the rocks. Yeah, you can press the rocks. You can fucking beat the rock against the barn. It's like an ape.

Screaming. So, Corey, you're content. You're lying in your bed. I'm content. I'm happy. I'm laying back in my hammet. You hear the little sand like pellets bopping against the window and the beautiful sandstorms of Mars. And you think this is just the nicest place. It even sounds a little bit like rain. Yeah, it sounds beautiful.

Meanwhile, you get a message from your mom saying, I mess you. My sweet little boy. I'm messy. That came from like, you know, a year ago. It just got to you. Bye, ma-bye. 40 years ago, Corey.

She's dead now. I'm sorry. But this is a weird sound clip that plays on certain days. Yeah. It plays on your birthday. It plays on the day she died. It plays any day that you forget that you've heard that message before.

It projects a big picture of her face eating chocolate Tricky Duggy Dodes Coffee While the theme song decide what your two plays in the background Loud of a little voice though you can barely hear You can barely hear you Yeah anyway so you're really relaxed you're lying in bed But this is when it happens This is when you hear a big on the window

This is my cock It's not your cock, Corey Your cock is tugged between your legs It's stuck in the sand when you were fucking in training So you don't piss all over your sandbox at night time You compress it between your legs so you don't pee the bed But anyway you get out of bed And you stumble over the window

And your big Mars onesie With your butt flap hanging down And you look out into the sand There's a big sandstorm going Oh okay Corey, you're never gonna guess what happens next A big fucking worm crawls out of your sandbox

Okay It devours all of your chocolate at once Oh no How big is the worm? One inch Wait, do you mean the chocolate that was already poor? It eats the whole reservoir. I stab it.

I fucking stab it with any silence of plastic that we're... That is bullshit. My story was a lie. Okay, Corey, take some bite of chocolate, you fucking stop on its fucking brain. All right? It couldn't possibly be eating the reservoir. It's cool. Because there's a huge fucking tube connecting from Mars to Earth.

Oh, really? Yeah, they sent unlimited chopper. They have some fucking ghost of skin. Why didn't they just give me food if they have a tube? Because you ask them just for chocolate. No. Yeah, you did. No, they said I can only have two things.

Only chocolate can preserve itself and make it that far. Yeah. Okay. I mean, the coffee is fine. Scientifically chocolate's the only food that can traverse space without going bad. It's science, Corey. A little moldy, but... I've watched where they walk back, I can believe it.

Corey, in the sandstorm, you hear a how. Excuse me. You hear that exactly, Corey. And it sounds like you burping and saying, excuse me. I didn't say that. Who said that? What do you do, Chloe? Your heart begins to raise.

You can mimic my sounds? You hear... I'm sorry, excuse me. Outside my door? Yeah, outside your window. And this violent sandstorm. This is when the music starts to pick up. I look outside.

My heart's racing. I don't know what to think of now. It's Christian. Christian with his shirt up and he's rubbing his chest up against the glass. You can hear it. Corey? Yeah, Christine. You're having a seizure, Corey.

I fall on the ground, I'm shaking violently. All these weird images are going through my head. Okay, so you wake up the next morning. Corey. You had an allergic reaction. To all the other. Yeah, there's a pile of fucking chocolate. It's just chocolate. Just chocolate puke everywhere.

A diabetic-induced coma dream. That makes sense. Above you, you see a fucking, the same one that took a bite of your chocolate. What's up? This worm. Yo, I thought I smashed this. Yeah, I thought you had to smash a shit out of this worm. He thought you did.

This one-inch worm I fucking killed, because for some reason my vision turned to the one-inch worm over everything else on fucking Mars. Corey, above you, you see the Sandman for Spider-3. The Spider-Man? With his game graphics. Gameo graphics? And he's holding the worm, petty, making it purr, making it hum real loud.

He says, Cori, I hope you don't mind to help myself do a chocolate. And he laughs real fucking hard. Your chocolate's all covered in sand now. Yeah, I was gonna say, this is how you stop him, right? Because when he drinks the chocolate, it solidifies him, it's like a big chocolate sand brick. See, Corey, little did you know. Your spell last night brought me to life. I was the bed you were sleeping on.

That was me, Corey. You've been sleeping with the sandman for years. You're not taking this Mars simulation. Seriously. Okay, Chris, you take it over. Corey, you wake up. You realize you've oversle. I keep having these chocolate cobas.

You're having a horrible dreams about these... ...incusion nightmares. It's like three nightmares in one. But you're awake for real now. You're awake. It's for real this time. You'd say, oh no, it's 9 o'clock! And it goes, dun, dun, dun, and it's the power of love playing.

And then you run outside into the Mars landscape. You start shoveling sand as your job. Oh, wait, no, you're supposed to be playing. That's my job. You run back inside because you're an idiot. I'm an idiot. Corey, boy, go, go, wait. That's pretty accurate.

Corey, you slept in. And since you did that play Slavic Picture 2, Earth is like losing power in scenes. Cori, you playing Slugia 2 keeps the Earth going. You look at people die, you're swanis. Earth is under my control now. You slept in one hour. I snively think to myself. Huh, now that I control Earth and everything it is, maybe I don't feel like getting all the emblems today.

Corey, that is when you get an electric shock so bad and fucking blows your hair off your head. Like it fucking does. Descalfed? Yeah. And then NASA guy's like, we know what you're doing, Corey, get to work. I'd be like, okay. But then I do something similar to what the professor did in that PowerPiff Girls episode when he's eating the peas.

I just take too long on a specific I'd walk slowly and be like, man, wish I had something besides chocolate because I'm getting fatigued from all his chocolate. No one has ever said that. A big robot arm where the Mickey Mouse glove comes out of the wall and has a syringe and it sticks you in the neck.

It injects nutrients to do and you feel great. Oh yeah, then I'm all back to plane again. So the Earth lights better than it ever has before. So every time you get a sonic emblem, a little piece of a little country will light up. And you'll see like a little logo of like all the people like, oh, yeah. There's 180 emblems. I know. There's that 180 states.

Corey, shut up, okay? Get to work. Okay. Okay, but now, now you finish for the day. Wait, do I have to do the chow races? Yes. Yeah, every one, Corey. I know it sucks. Not only do you have to play them?

wasn't for the dogs. You have to win them. You have to win all the child reasons. I can't cheat. No, Corey. You just gotta keep playing until you win. Why can't just cheat? You're powering all of Earth.

Tyler is fucking dead because you slept in. When you were getting on the space... No one said powering the Earth would be easy. When you were getting on the Space Shuttle, they scanned your entire body and wrecked them for action replay discs. Oh. Okay? They're smart. Yeah, they're very smart.

It's NASA. It was smart setting up the Earth to like some... That one action replay you had your mouth, they ripped it out of your teeth and snapped it in half in front of your teeth and snapped it. He's not a half of you. He doesn't even enjoy that much. We're getting to the core of the story. This was all the setup. Corey.

Here it is. This is it. This is the real twist. You get three emblems for the day. You feel great. Three A's. All aces. That is hard to do. You go to bed and now this is when

that starts happening again, okay? You look out into the sand and there stands the Mystic Beast, the Mars Squatch. The Mars Squat. With his eyes glowing bright red. Okay. And little do you know. It becomes a period. He's doing the crazy frog

He's gonna be the wind I'm so smacking I'm like Nassah! There's a goal! Coy Nass comes up. What's wrong? You look over, he's gone.

What happened, what happened, Corey? I'm like false alarm, but there was a monster at my door. Did you guys check Mars before you sent me here to the Saber? He said, Corey's having a diabetic coma again. It's not a diabetic fucking coma. The robot arm comes and sticks you in the brain injects nutrients again. Oh, we're like, oh.

It's like a high. They said you white chocolate instead. I hate white chocolate. I go on a fucking fit of brain, forming in the mouth. He fucking, he fucking, he fucking, like, head butts the pipe until it shatters, then he fucking crawls inside of the pipe, trying to get sucked back to earth. Yeah, because I don't want white chocolate.

I'm like, no! And then they, they push the big red button at NASA, and it pushes you back into the room to the chocolate home. Oh my god, his room is starting to flood with chocolate then, because he fucking broke the pipe. It's NASA. They didn't, like, they didn't, like, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't. They fix this. She's a little micro-nanotechnology fixing it everywhere. Okay, got it.

So they spray white chocolate on you and spray- I don't want white chocolate. They spray it all over you and they freeze it, so you're frozen in white chocolate. Oh, it sounds like a nightmare. You don't want white chocolate. Oh no, I don't want it. You're frozen for a night as punishment, Corey?

For what? Injecting me with white chocolate? Corey, you're covered the white chocolate. And the fucking, the fire squash comes up and says, it looks like it's covered in Cobble. And it runs away, b, b, b, b, b, it runs away. He just got choked He fucking spit out

He fucking puked everywhere He just fucking spit out of the floor He tried to run to the bathroom Oh no Oh, he bought up He had a fucking heart attack He fucking he's on the floor Are you okay

I'm coughing Oh my god I love me ran for the bathroom But he never made it to it He made it He'd be it right there and fucking... I love her that was Corey's kryptonite. The fucking fire Sasquatch singing Frey Crazy Frog.

So he's gonna come. Holy fuck. This is the worst story ever. It's so funny though. Holy fuck. You made me laugh and I was choking. At the same time I was laughing so I had like a panic attack. And then I ran to the bathroom.

You had a panic attack is a crazy frog? I wasn't expecting what. Corrie. We let him. Then he runs away. Alright. So that happens. I'm frozen in fucking white chocolate.

Like carbonite. Like carbonite. I realized that NASA is not my friend. No. No. You've been a slave the whole time. I've been duped. I was willing to play the game, but once they froze me in white chocolate, I knew.

They lured you to Mars with promises of chocolate and Dunkins. But the truth was, you were the slave to power Earth. Okay, so next morning, you're still frozen. The two robot arms emerge as the sun comes up, right? So... It's just shade, like they come out of the... They come out of the wall, right? They're like that. And then they grab the chisel and the hammer, and they bong you on the head, and the chocolate falls in the ground.

Shadows everywhere. And then they start pointing at you saying, now you get back to work, you, and then they go back into the wall. You have a hard day ahead of you, scout? Yeah, and they pat you on the ass in the head, and they go back in the wall. They quickly come back and hand me my game-Cube controller, then escape. Your wave bird. So, Coy, now, what are you thinking about, for you? What's going through your fucking brain is that?

brain as this happens, Corey, you have a plane of escape? What are you thinking? I'm like, I'm playing adventure. Specifically. What level specifically? I'm playing, I'm playing, uh, playing that, um. This is the opposite of an escape plan. You just went right back to work. Come on, Corey, you got to escape.

It's time to escape. Yeah, I'm playing Meadow Harbor. I'm doing the Chow machine, but in my mind, I'm not doing Chowmission. Okay, what are you really doing? What are you thinking about really, Corey? I'm thinking I need to side with a certain somebody. Not the. Got to put back the differences.

You gotta put aside the differences. Oh my god. Deep up, Corey, this is a scandal is. Yeah, this is gonna be crazy. How do you manage this? I know he likes jokes. Yeah. You're gonna try to literally jokes.

He likes memes and fucking phone ring tones. Corey, he has a lot of Reddit Carba. That's understood. He loves to post her advice animals. So, I have had crazy frog. I had a little like a 3D picture of crazy frog that dances in my pocket the whole time. You had the Spider-Man dance. And you had the Spider-Man dance.

All at one. With the music of Crazy Frog. I put it out there, his head pops up over the rocks. He starts sniffing around. He starts laughing real fucking heart. He starts slapping his fucking legs and runs up full speed within one second, 30 miles to the window. He's just mad. He starts his laughs start to scream. He's trying to get in.

He wants the crazy frog, Corey. You're fucking enraging and you're talking to him. He's like a mad gorilla. Corey. I show him your friend quick. I show him. I take it, Corey. He wants you get it, Corey. I take the white chocolate that I smeared on my face.

He begins to clap. He accepts my offering. Corey, you let him in. How the fuck did he let him in? He opens the door. He opens the wooden door. He rolled down the window. Corey says, go to the back.

And he crawls under the same boat to the sandbox, man. And he comes out and he goes, hey, I'm going to make, bing. And he says, well, you got something with you two? And he sees and Clairley's beatbag. He's like, I got it. And he fucking beats the game in one second. propellers of earth that kills the entire earth. Ruining the story!

Corey, what it really happens is you whisper in his big ear, this big orange, fucking yellowish ear, and he stretch it open, you say... He's without this open way to the jokes, we need to get out of here. Okay? And he says, oh! And he starts playing on your phone, he beat Snake in one second. So he understands. He understands games. He understands games. He plays Tetris with Myers Rocks and pushes them down. So he gets it, he understands how the world works.

And when you get a full line, he just smashes all of them. So, Corey, you hand them to him. Like the wave bird. I give him the wave bird. I'm like, you know what to do. And then he's doing, while he's doing stuff, I'm like. He's screaming live and learn. His face is fucking red.

While he did that, I give him my onesie and my glasses. And then the NASA comes. And they're like, I see you're busy. NASA. That's definitely him. NASA panics. They look back and see you naked running your hamster wheel and realize they're kept me two coins.

Yeah. So I run out. They realize there's an imposter. They send a drone into the room. And then the fucking Marsquatch says, You dig one hide under the birds You dig into the sand, you hide And the drone is inside, looking around.

The Marsquatch speeds, he's got it, he's got both of them. The Marsquist is like spreading his legs and fisting himself. They're like, that's him, okay, false alarm. So the drone leaves, okay? Flies back. Flies back. But he's a little bit. Corey, that's your chance.

You gotta fucking grab the drone. Then you say, we gotta get out of here, quick. This is getting real sketchy. He grabs your shoulders, says, Corey, go without me. I will stay here and power the earth while you live freely and take my spot And Corey's like But how do I get out of here?

And then the guy He forces you into the chocolate, right? And he puts his lips around the chocolate tube Blows You mean a civilization? Shoot back to planet Earth in the chocolate tube All the fucking chocolate Flies out of it.

Like a gustus scoop As you emerge with a pipe Like the guy from Shawshake Redemption As you emerge for the pipe You see Earth And in a moment Just like the Planet of the Apes You see everybody's crazy frog on Earth

You see the prize? Corey, you see Sasquatch's big guy looking through the hole. He says, yeah, Joy Earth and crushes the... He crushes the tube. And then NASA... All the NASA scientists run over to you and they're like, What did you do? And then the Twilight Stone, the Demon song plays.

I just laugh. I thought you're gonna hold up your fucking memes in the entire world would just clap, because they all love them. The end. You win. I win. That's too happy. You gotta make it sad and scary and... The whole world is crazy frog.

Sasquash hates. How much worse can it be? I'm like this, this is Sasquist are closing in, but when the lights turn on, it's all the scientists. The Crazy Frog Zoo? Yeah, they were really scientists and they're really like this with their clipboards and like fucking glasses and they're like... What the fuck? Were you a midget? Were you a tiny little shroom?

No, I was in a corner, like freaking out. Oh. It was a little simulation. It was a simulation. Oh, that's nice. And you're like, oh, it was all a dream. Cyanid says, and then it cuts off.

Question mark, the end, question mark? I thought it would be like a Men in Black reveal, like it zooms out and actually Corey was the character being played by the Sass

the Mars squash. You were the game. You were the character. I was Sonic collecting all the that's right. I love how Mars set you. I mean,

that set you to Mars for like three years and you got like five emblems game up before trying to escape. He fucking hurt out the sun from like not doing play for two hours?

Who's the real criminal here? He said up Earth to be put from a fucking dated game. That was... The Mars Squatch. Of all the mistakes I have made, of all the lives I have taken, these idiot bideons did not deserve their terrible fate. I am very angry at my wiener.

Bad, bad weaner. Do not worry. I will punish my naughty wiener all night long. Also, if you Google the word, Megma, remember to think of me coming all over an ant-hill. Good night.