Sloss and Humphries On The Road - 5.14: Straight White Rhino

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

Sober Cream and sore Muggins check in with their lifestyles a week into the new year. Kai stumbles across a Geordie phrase he doesn't know whether is unique to his friends or broadly used in the North East. Daniel tries to justify big game hunting.

Hello everyone! Welcome to another episode of Sloss and Humphreys on the Road. Thank you very much for tuning in to listen to us talk shit with each other. This is... I mean, I know there was a New Year's special, but we don't really consider it a New Year's special, or the first one of the New Year, because we were fucking half-cut, Jerome. I would say this is the first official podcast of 2023. I am boringly sober, which I think makes me more coherent. But I'm not fucking sure. I would be genuinely interested to people who regularly listen to the podcast if you notice any difference in me when I'm stoned all the time and when I'm sober

all the time. Because I asked Cara about it the other day and I was like, do you notice any difference in me when I'm not stoned? she's like it's slightly easier to get your attention and that's about it like I thought it made me sillier I thought it made me like dumber whatever and then I realized that I'm just like that all the fucking time um so who knows anyway me and Cara talk a bunch of fucking shit on this one. We get into a big long argument about Apple and then we start talking about the state of the industry. We start talking about self-loathing. It's a lot of self-reflection because it's a fucking new year.

It's the new year. That is when you fucking self-reflect. If you want to watch any of our shit, Kai has a special out on his website. I have two specials out on my website. If you want to subscribe to our Patreon, you can. Give us all of your fucking money

and enjoy the rest of your lives. Sloss and Humphreys on the road. Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin', livin' the dream.

That's our intro. Fuckin' muggles. Ticklin' the clit inside your head that makes you laugh. Woo! They said it can't be done. Are we in the same seats?

That's hack. Ah, muggles. Accidental rim job in the park. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Or might just be cynical. Just muggled it up on fucking Mugglepedia. Where have you been since 9-11?

I'm really sore. Sore? Aloha. Broaders, anyway. That seems serious. Go somewhere else. That's been sore for years, that. Lots of abrasions.

I thought the outside would be, you know, fine, but the inside just... I've had my nose broken loads. Have you? Aye. I've been kicked in the face a bunch. Aye. Once in a fight of a doorman. I remember that one.

I remember that phone call. Once when I went to do a low header as the as the central defender I was clearing it and I got the ball first regretted my decision

immediately and I took a knee to the face in rugby I took a knee to the face in rugby it was in high school and there was like

we're in first year and we're doing the scrum and there's a guy on the other side and here's the great I went to to school called weight academy and the thing was weight academy i would say like 75 of the pupils really really fucking sound that because it's fife there's just always scum there's always scum that fucking bleeds through uh and and uh as an adult i can sort of say oh you know it probably wasn't uh you were in the new money school were

you well no no no well I mean now it's new money they knocked like they've literally knocked down our old school and built a new one on top of it just to you know

get rid of all of our memories but like as an adult I can look back and be like alright all the kids who were pieces of shit to me

realistically were having really bad times at home like all that's learned behaviour like that's that was their their outlet

for whatever reason was violence and bullying and picking on people but at the same time if I were to read the Fife Free Press and find out

that Callum is dead I don't think I would I think my dry January would be would be would be

master being I some fucking kid kneed me in the face I managed to turn my face at the last fucking second but it was just

I've never broken my nose thank well thank fucking God but you know you give them an orbital protect me orbital man if I was to get kneed

if my nose was to get broken I think I would have to end my life because you can't smash this and repair it like that like it would be really prominent it's too big

like can you tell I've got a broken nose when you look at it yeah or did I need to point it out well I mean there's just so much going on with your face

that it's not good it's like where's Wally so I'm really sore because I played football five-a-side now have you gone through have you made the same mistake that I did when last time so I'm really sore because I played football five a side now have you gone through have you made the same mistake

that I did when last time we played seven a side and afterwards I was like oh my god I'm in absolute pain I'm in so much agony

clearly that's because I'm unfit and then turns out two days later it turns out it's because I had COVID and it was all the muscle pain that I was actually getting being like

I don't think I use my neck much in football well that's not true where'd he go watching the Formula 1 there I've got like my trainers didn't work on wet astroturf

and I slid around everywhere and I like I try and like my games turn a pace in that I don't have that anymore not really especially with slippery trainers on

and I was just slipping, running, falling. Now I've got like fucking grazes off the astroturf. I want my body, my muscles are sore, my fucking hips are hurting.

It's mad that... I don't know how much of it was like my footwear and falling over and how much of it was just being a 39 year old. And I have to just accept that now if I play football, that's going to hurt for a bit.

Yeah, aye. And also AstroTurf is really like, I can understand the theory of why it exists and it's certainly better than you know, gravel. You know, there was, man, they used to, I mean, I know you belong to a generation that probably had it fucking worse, but in our primary

school and high school, we were like, where's the football pitches? They're like, we've sprayed it on concrete. And you're like, you sprayed it on concrete and you're like you fucking what yeah you guys want a football pitch so we had a big fucking car park so we just

we painted over all the car park lines and we just put a football pitch there it was class enjoy stay on your feet if you can so we had the the square we called it

it's because on the council estate they had like this part where they were going to build garages and then decided that they weren't going to spend any more money on this council estate. So they've just got the plot where the garages were meant to be. And half of it is allotment walls. You know, the pebble dash into the fucking community gardens.

You know what allotments are. I'm telling you, you've never heard of allotments. And then the other two are the neighbours whose ball goes into that garden every fucking time. You know, if you move into their end-houses where your wall of your garden goes into an open space, just embrace it, that garden ball guy.

Yeah, that's it. If we had one family on the end, that would just give the ball back. In fact, they would say, just give a knock, just jump, oh, I'll get the ball. Our neighbours where we grew up but they were literally beside the park and they were like just jump over the fence lads but do your best to not jump

on the rose bushes or the things here's the bit of the fence. I think at one point Kevin across the road literally like with a saw cut the bit in the hedges where he wanted us to jump through and only that. There we go. That's how you do it. Yeah. Or you can be the ball Nazi who everyone hopes you fucking die. The one on the other side. That's the reason why shit's getting posted through your fucking letterbox.

That's why people were laughing when your wife died. It's because you're a cunt. It's because you're a fucking cunt. That's it. Alright that's it. Cunt on one side and then the fucking... But then pebble dash walls were like, you know when you're playing the hostile game of football when it's a close four game

and the ball's near the edge and you just both sprint and ram into each other against the locker we call them the locker walls why? the lockers

over the lockers allotments it's just like you know in a game of football I just went over the allotments lockers but there's no

I just I don't like the abbreviation because there's no K in allotment lotters doesn't work man Lot as works When has dropping the T ever fucking stopped you cunts From saying anything

I know but we're just lockers But lockers are already a word And they're not lockers Unless you were calling it the hurt locker But that movie wasn't out yet so I don't think so I hope it's a jolly thing And not you were calling it the heart locker, in which case fair, but that movie wasn't out yet, so I don't think so. I hope it's a Geordie thing and not just a me thing. I got your joke as well.

Sorry about that. I was thinking through it though. I was like, let them enjoy your joke. This is another one. It may be like another one like poop, where it may just be my street. Aye. But I hope all the people in Newcastle refer to the allotments as the lockers.

And I'd like to get feedback on a postcard about that. Or poker, as I call it. Loads of people got back in touch saying that people in their families save wrapping paper. Told you. I told you. It's a fucking psycho behaviour.

I don't agree with it but i refuse to i refuse to be gaslight in a world where no no nobody does that yeah people do it's like i think it's again it's one of those things where i don't want to fucking besmirch it because i reckon like 75 percent of people who do it it's a cost saving thing it's a it's a good thing it's you know it comes from uh i don't want to say thrifty because I think there's like negative connotations but you know what I mean when you're in a

not thrifty I think thrifty's fine is it okay yeah you're just like you're saving aye you're like I think it's

like you know it's cutting out coupons like people have to do that aye however I think it's a relic I don't think I don't think it's I don't think it's as much

of a commodity you know you can get a massive roll for a quid I reckon it's a relic I don't think I don't think it's I don't think it's as much Of a commodity You know You can get a massive roll For a quid I reckon It's saving about 12 pence There's a whole bunch Of cunts out there

Called Janet Who still do it man No doubt in my fucking mind Yeah just principal And they've got money as well Right They fucking They've got a job

Their husband's got a fucking job They go on three holidays A fucking year But that must be That must be handed down Because I get it right I get that my Grandad Pete would make sure he ate that black banana

with the fruit bowl because he doesn't agree with waste, right? Because he lived on rations at one point. So to have abundance, to have surplus to him is like an absolute fucking luxury. To us, it's normal, right? But that isn't the case for the next generation. So they must just carry it from the previous with wrapping paper for sure. I found in my house a folded up Marvel wrapping paper

with tape on it, so that had definitely been taken from a present and folded at the exact creases that it was. And I just, because I found it when Natalie was at the dog park and it's only crept back up when we made Now. I wouldn't have even spotted it had you not mentioned that on the podcast, but there was some, there was some.

Now that you mention it, Natalie seems like a fucking wrapping paper saver. I've got to save that. She feels like somebody would be a wrapping paper saver. I've never seen her not just rip off the wrapping paper. However, I've got to save that. She feels like somebody would be a wrapping paper saver. I've never seen her not just rip off the wrapping paper. However, I could see that.

She loves a bargain, right? But, when would she... To the detriment of joy all around. Yes. Like,

getting money off something is so much more important to her than... Getting there quicker. Or having fun while doing it. Hey, we could either get there quicker or having fun while doing it hey we can either get there in 15 minutes

on a luxury vehicle or we can get there on Thursday and the whole time you're being whipped but you have to leave now Natalie have you just

have you booked us a trip around Central Park where we're the horses on the front of the carriage but you said you wanted to see Central Park

and this only cost £3. It shouldn't cost anything! I should make money for it. I should be getting paid for doing the thing. Alright, you think the horses are getting paid, Kai? Alright, you fucking psycho. But Natalie wouldn't have gotten a present that was wrapped with Marvel wrapping paper. I was about to say, how dare you? I've never bought gotten a present that was wrapped with Marvel wrapping paper I was about to say how dare you I've never bought

Natalie a present if it was going to be anyone it was going to be me you did buy us a present you bought us a Christmas Eve box and you bought us steak pie

and whiskey yeah yeah I was stood behind Gara when she handed you that I said but like oh yeah we're thoughtful

that's not true I did go I did go pick up the steak pie Craigie's Farm if anyone lives in Edinburgh I stood behind Gara when she handed you that. They're like, oh, yeah, we're thoughtful. That's not true. I did go pick up the steak pie. Craigie's Farm, if anyone lives in Edinburgh, just outside of Edinburgh, there's a place called Craigie's Farm. It's the greatest steak pie I've ever had. And they are so,

whatever the opposite of fucking stingy it's with the meat. You know when you go to fucking Sainsbury's or Rasta and you get a steak pie, it's 70% crust. And then there's like, because it folds over the fucking side and you end up with pie it's 70% crust and then there's like because it folds over the fucking side and you end up with like three bits of meat

not this man there's an entire cow in every one of those fucking pies and it's class and if you go up there there's two baby

heel and coos Highland cows? heel and coos heel and coos heel and coos two baby heel and coos and then you can just Buy their mother

Yeah At the shop You're like This cow Try it mum Well I think They also sell They also get

So the pies aren't from Craig It's the pies are from A place called Buffalo Barn So if you find anywhere In Scotland that sells Buffalo farm steak pies Fucking Big thumbs up

It was a good steak pie Do you know what it's called Buffalo farms I'm going to take a little wild guess. Have a go. Is that they put the buffalo sauce on the chicken wings? Oh. I was ready to ring the victory bell there.

He's lost it now. They make loads of pies and make with buffalo. Yeah, that was going to be my guess. Because there's buffalo in Scotland. Do you know that? Yes. I mean, they've been Buffalo in Scotland do you know that yes I mean they've been introduced I did not know that

they've been introduced in the sense that you know do they migrate do they just like cut through Berwick into Newcastle

during the winter it would be really good to ask my friend Ali little Ali because he knows so much about fucking nature now that he's a groundskeeper

and it's just his passion anyway. He was the one that was explaining to me that they're introducing buffalo and bison and they're planning to hopefully in the future in Scotland reintroduce wolves because there's far too many fucking deer up here. And children. Yeah, they get to

And just ramblers, people who are just like walking through the countryside. Here's a question for you. There's too many chickens at the farms. I'm going to go somewhere with this, by the way. Don't derail me. No, no, just remind me that I have a point at the end of this. Now, do you agree with hunting?

Yes. No. Yeah. Hmm. Like, if you're a farmer and they are genuine vermin, they are trade. Trim them down a bit. Okay. So would it be fair to say that you don't agree with people shooting fucking white rhinos or gorillas or anything like that? Big game trophy hunting is just the fucking narcissistic, fucking

elitist, like fucking I just think it's massive egos, it's like fucking little dick syndrome, like fuck you killing a massive beast for sport, right? Said the man who ran with the bulls. This podcast is

nothing but steeped in hypocrisy. Oh yeah, yeah, it's like you didn't know this when you tuned in to watch just two young lads just shooting the breeze in 2016. You were going to watch a character arc. And not a good one. With epic proportions. Yeah, yeah. We just realised some epics and got less fun.

So I agree with your principle. I've always believed that, why would you go out and fucking shoot an elephant? Why would you go and shoot a rhino? I listened to a very interesting podcast the other day where it was sort of explained in a better way. So in Namibia, for example, where there was a population of about 1,000 white rhinos left,

and they're trying to increase how many white rhinos there are. To save the white rhinos, to save the white rhinos, would you go up to a white rhino with a desert eagle and shoot it right between the fucking eyes? Which one's the desert eagle again? It's the really good one on GoldenEye. Is that like a clock? No.

It's a handgun. No, but it's like the big hand. If you and me were to fire at this eagle, our arm and the gun would end up 30 feet backwards over there. Like a magnum. Man, it would be comical if I fired it, right? You would have to like, it would be like pulling string on my back and I'd fly away like fucking carpet.

Like, really, it's a powerful fucking gun. You'd have to have a little handgun against your shoulder like a clip. Yeah, it would disloc powerful fucking game. You'd have to, like, your hand going against your shoulder like a clip. Yeah. Like, it would dislocate a little. It would dislocate both my arm, my shoulder, and I think my neck from my head. Would I go and point blank range it

as an eagle out of a rhino? Fucking aye. Shoot it. Like, me and Colton on the last podcast were talking about being able to save the game and going back to the save point after you've done something really fucking shitty. If I could save the game and going back to the save point after you've done something really fucking shitty if I could save the game I would

and we'll also come to the conclusion that if you could do that you would live more on the unsaved game than you would on your saved game you wouldn't know what's actually happening in the actual narrative of your life because you've spent so much time going rogue from your save point so in Namibia part of the conservation your save point. So in Namibia, part of the conservation tactics,

and this isn't just Namibia, they also do this in the States and America, they hand out basically hunting tokens, right, which is the conservation team, company, whatever it is that is in charge of these animals goes, right, every year you're allowed to kill 10 of these wolves you're allowed to kill 15 of these moose or whatever and we're going to auction the chance to hunt these things off and all the money that you gain from you're going to auction this off to a bunch of

hunters somebody bids 150 grand to shoot a fucking moose we give them the token they're allowed to go hunt a moose they have the moose is theirs they shoot in the fucking head we take all that money and we put it back into conservation all the money goes in there and i'm like okay that's an interesting thing and what they've done in namibia is they auction off i don't like the sound of this like this is like hey if you fuck that child for like a hundred million we'll spend a hundred million on the orphanage just don't look their tail and give the money. Not a bad argument. So in Namibia, the auction off the chance to shoot a white rhino, right? And the guy ends up bidding 350 grand for it. Now, the rhino that he's out there to shoot is, it's infertile.

It's so old that it's infertile. It's roughly got about two or three years left. And because it's a big fucking white rhino, it's killing younger male fertile white rhinos because it's getting... And he's paid 350 grand. And by the way, the money that goes in,

this, what's the word, plan, this scheme... Scheme. It's a scheme. Has increased the population of the white rhino in Namibia from 1,000 to 5,000. what's the word plan this scheme scheme has increased the population of the white rhino in Namibia

from 1,000 to 5,000 aye but how like pay me 100,000 and you can punch this woman

in the face and we'll put all that money into a domestic abuse charity and it's going to save them but he punched a woman but they've saved lots of other women

but it's a but it's a dying but it's a dying white rhino. It's only got two years left. It's aggressive. It's actually ruining. But this woman here has got a criminal record to shoplift. All right, good.

I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm not. I'm just saying, when it was pitched to me in that way, I'm sitting there going, oh, fuck. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's awful because it's playing God, right? And that's what people don't like about

what we're doing with animal conservation is we are playing God but I'm also like first of all we are God right no matter what

anyone fucking likes human beings are God there is no real God in the world we are in charge of conservation we are in charge of what happens

to the world and this is not the nicest way to fix the problem but at the moment we're the devil no we're the devil

no no I think depends which side you're on yeah yeah so my point is I'm not saying this argument fucking confines me

it holds up but it's certainly I didn't know this and listening to this that animal's gotta go and we're gonna just it's killing the young rhinos we're going to have to like

put it in its own conservation which is going to cost more money keeping it alive in this place right so we're going to have to exterminate it for the good of the species with the 350,000 money not only can we keep the population we have already safe

we can employ park rangers to go around and stop poachers and that's again they put the money into this now again I from what I've heard from the articles and podcasts I've read in this to go around and stop poachers. And that's, again, they put the money into this. Now, again, I, from what I've heard from the articles and podcasts that I've read,

and this works, I mean, there's always the case of, like, it could be underhanded fucking bullshit. It could be lies. But, you know, plenty of officials are saying it fucking works.

So you go from, like, being like, okay, to save these, me, someone who's, you know, against, you know, guns and really sort of against hunting, listening to this argument, I'm like, oh know against you know guns and really sort of against hunting listening to this argument

I'm like oh fuck and now I'm sort of back it's controlled evil it is controlled evil it's the we can't eliminate the evil so it can put the bumpers up and then just like

funnel the evil well I've got to tell you I'm now fully fully my leftism is gone and I'm leaning to the right now I think

it is absolutely our duty as human beings when there is an endangered animal and if we have the right to if we have the ability

to conserve the many for the lives of the few that is our fucking job and also as a right wing person I believe

that the most endangered species in the world is the straight white man therefore I pose that the most endangered species in the world is the straight white man. Therefore, I pose that in order to conserve us as a endangered species, that once a year... We need to get rid of the straight white rhino. We have an auction where we let women and the Middle Easterns and the blacks and the Jews

and everyone else from the rest of the world just bet on the right to hunt Piers Morgan Jordan Peterson and put the money in yeah and it's for the good

it's for the good of straight white men it's for the good of straight white men everywhere because we are under fucking attack daily

because that money is going to keep us fucking we're just going to get put in the farms we can try and reproduce that's all we're good for all you bloody

woke fucking liberals out there you tell me you fucking look me in my fucking eyes and tell me if I auctioned off the chance

for you to fucking shoot King Charles in the back of the fucking head that you and your friends aren't getting together being like

I reckon I'll remortgage the house. You'd be in a ghillie suit outside the palace. You know, that notoriously non-grassy patch of land. Why does that bush have a rifle? Somebody tells a shit joke and they're like, oh, look, tumbleweed. Oh, no. It's like, your head's come off

Tumbleweed's just You're rolling in it Just doing forward rolls To get closer and closer Does he have a knife there that's That's what I was saying Aye So I'm so cost of the football

It's an old man podcast now isn't it Aye Aye Also I'm gonna I think I've already confessed this to you When I was drunk I'm gonna do it again

While we're sober Now that you're sober I've completed The orchid And bought An iMac First of all Do you mean orchard?

It doesn't Oh that's a plant Fucking You meant orchard the desert oh that's a plant fucking you meant orchard because it's apple products you stupid unbelievable oops

that was me that one sorry for touching me you hit us with something that when we're drunk and i tell you about it right i was like wait i've got it because i've got my office that i barely use because i'm constantly unplugging my mac from the second screen and from the power and all that right and i'm putting my bag and i'm on the road or i'm coming here for the podcast and i need my mac everywhere i go and then when i come back i didn't finally on setting it up and me office becomes storage right so I would like a desktop that doesn't leave me office and I can sit down and use when I'm in my office you know like why

didn't you just get a pc then so you can do some gaming play gloomhaven like fucking all that shit I was like I just like the way like me photos on me phone will then be on my computer. I wouldn't have to do anything because I'm in the Apple family. And at what point in your sad, sad fucking life is the way you look at photos is to go into your office, log into your computer and just scroll. What the fuck are you talking about? That's not your dream. That's nobody's dream. Nobody wants to do that.

That hasn't existed since 1997. Oh, just what are you doing? Just scrolling through pictures. When you used to have to take your... Oh, no, wait, I forgot. I bought a fucking Mac, so there's no scroll wheel. Oh, yes.

No, there is. It's on the mouse. Oh, it's a little fucking... It doesn't exist as a trackpad. I don't know what's wrong with you people. I like... I've got this dream. Listen to my dream. I've got this dream that one day I'm just going to sit down and listen to podcasts.

I'm going to go through all of my photos, right? And I'm going to tag in people who are in it. Like where, like just things like these are comedians. So it's in the comedians file. So anytime I want to find a photo, I can use tags to search it and I can find the photo, right? And I'm not going to do that on my phone, I guarantee it.

I also guarantee you're not going to do it on your fucking laptop computer. No, I'm going to have to, out of stubbornness. But also, no, it's the desktop. The desktop on my Mac is the exact same as the desktop in my office now, on my phone.

So if I want files, if I'm doing writing, wherever I sit doing, my writing's there. If I'm editing a video, that's there. Like, everything, like, to have everything on every device, on, like, the cloud, is so much more worthy to me than it just running better and being less glitchy. To have everything just, like, communicating with each other. I'd rather I'd be in the same family than it just running better and being less glitchy to have everything just like communicating with each other i'd rather i'll be in the same family than it be disjointed yeah but why not go

to the better family that like if you want that why not do that with the better windows version because i'm already in too deep i'd have to fucking completely uproot every single device i've got uproot every single device I've got. Aye, but that's... Say that. Yeah. Say that then. Like I just, like being like,

look, this, look, I got this fucking shit tattoo when I was 17 years old. And you know what? I could get LASIK surgery to get it off me arm and then just get a better tattoo over the top.

But I've just decided to make it blend in. I'm just going to get shit tattoos all over me arm, all over my chest, up my neck and into my eyeballs. And I'm only going to get kids to do it. And I'm only going to get shit tattoos all over my arm, all over my chest up my neck and into my eyeballs and I'm only going to get kids to do it and I'm only going to get kids with no depth perception

to do it, I'm just going to double down on this shit thing over and over and over again I get what you're saying, however I've been on your computer you've got a fucking excellent computer, a gaming machine you bought it for Twitch, it's fucking brilliant and I got on, and you're're just using it as a cluttered desktop

to have podcasts on and that, right? You're using 1% of your computer's ability. Oh, man, I don't know. You need a Mac. Well, no, no, I bought this for... You need some user-friendly, idiot-proof machine, not something that's got the depth of personality that a PC does. You need a basic bitch of a computer.

Well, I did have a basic bitch of a computer for so long. I mean, I went from, you remember, I was PC and that up until I was about 19, 20. And then I did what you did and I converted to Mac. And then my problem with it, I have had two Macs that just caught fire, just caught fire while on my fucking lap, just halfway through. And it's all a scam. Here's the thing, I can take this computer to any fucking cunt in Edinburgh, right? Any one of the shops, and they'll be able to fix it. They'll go, this tiny thing's broken. How much does that cost to replace?

Fuck all. We've got to spare. Da-da-da-da-da. As opposed to these Mac fucking gurus being like, oh, it's an unknown problem. We've got to take it through the back and diagnose it. Can I come with you? No.

Hey, hey, I brought my wife into hospital to give birth can i be in the room while she gives birth absolutely not no no we've got to we've got to do it through in the back room there that's great how long will it take an amount of time they come back 15 minutes later so there's been complications with your partner's birth uh it's going to cost you an extra grand to save her life can I at least talk to her about it no she's in the other room can you bring her back can I take her to a different hospital we tied her down

why did you tie her down why she's giving birth are you paying the money or not no it's all a scam from top to bottom

the thing that got me right is that obviously the one that you want to buy is there because it's the it's got the price that's within your range on it right and then it's like or do you want to have like this upgrade on it for like 200 pound and you go oh that'll mean i've got it for longer

because it's going to stand the test of time by having that and then you're like but i don't really need that the point of his buying this is that like it's exactly what i need it's it's a fucking glorified type right now so get get the minimum one. Yeah. Right? And then it's like, but if you don't get it now, you won't be able to upgrade it. And I'm like, well, that's where you're a piece of shit.

Yeah. Because now you can take the back off a PC and fucking put in a... I've been doing that since I was fucking 12 years old, is putting an extra eight megabytes of memory or whatever into me fucking dad's computer. So you can do it. Aye.

You've just opted to superglue everything in. Aye, aye. To just be bastards. To just get more. To just be bastards. To just bring more fucking money out. Aye.

So I went for the absolute fucking basic bitch model and just fucking... Also, the reason I don't use this, I expected to be out here gaming much more and then I became a father and they also,

then they just invented the Steam Deck and I was like, oh, well, I mean, that's what, that's what I actually wanted. And I, as much as I'm like, in my head,

I think I want to do PC gaming. Every time I've done it, right, and I've just got all these keys and like, he had us on Warcraft, which is such a basic game. Like, this isn't even a modern game. It's an old one.

And you're like, and all your buffs are on here and shit like that, right? And I'm there like, I want to have like a little key card. I'm like, F1 is the a basic game. Like, this isn't even a modern game. It's an old one. And you're like, and all your buffs are on here and shit like that, right? And I'm there, like, I want to have, like, a little key card. I'm like, F1 is the buff for that. I'm dead already. Like, I haven't got the functioning anymore

to do that. So, like, I need this. Like, if I'm playing computers, I'm doing that. So I was like, if I was buying a gaming station, I would have maybe had different ideas. But I'm not going to be gaming on that thing

well I hope you enjoy scrolling your photos on your two grand picture frame that's stationary in an office for that one dream

that we all have which is to you know you going to come join us for dinner no can do if only there was a handheld version

of this where I could just look through there is no no there's not if I write a show on that thing

with every penny it is it's my I feel the writing process coming on now like you know when you're like there's so many obstacles

including the dishes like everything you're like oh well unless I get that done I'm not going to get my writing done and you start like it's mint when you're writing, oh, well, unless I get that done, I'm not going to get my writing done. And you start like,

it's mint when you're writing a French show, because your hoose becomes immaculate. Everything gets ordered. No, you procrastinate. You do every other thing apart from writing a fucking show. If I come out of your hoose, and all your comic books are in fucking alphabetic order or whatever,

I'll be like, oh, Daniel's writing. Yep. It's part of the process. So this splurge on myself is part of the process. So this splurge on myself is part of the process, even though I'm probably going to come up with the idea seconds before I go on stage, scribbling it down,

and then it'll work, and I'll listen back to the recording, and I'll add in a line, or I'll send the recording to you and Nelson, and you'll go, right, what about if you do it this way? I'll probably end up growing me jokes in the same way but I've just got this weird fantasy that I'm going to

get up one morning and just get me coffee and just sit down in me dress and go and pipe and I'm going to write a print show

my problem with the fucking writing process is because I think there's different times of the day when your brain is better for it now mine's

is not the morning right I've tried writing in the morning for some people that you know for a lot of creatives they? I've tried writing in the morning for some people that, you know, for a lot of creatives, they're like, do it first thing in the morning. I'm like, if your brain is up at that time, congratulations, good for you. If I try and feed my body at 7am, my body is like, what the literal fuck are you doing here? My brain is like, we're not here to chew. You can pour coffee down. Well, you can pour, I can open the throat so

coffee can go down your fucking neck. Chewing's not an option. Talking's not a fucking option. here to chew you can pour coffee down well you can pour I can open the throat so coffee can go down your fucking neck chewing's not an option talking's not a fucking

option none of these other things I think my most creative time and certainly

when I'm feel like oh I'm like I'm so good at it right now I'm in a really funny mood is it like

8 or 9pm I'm not fucking going out at 8 or 9pm to write a fucking show that's nighttime people want your attention then aye

your lass has just finished work your kid's just gone to bed or whatever bed is me and Cara time like fuck am I like I'm just going to go and listen to the 90 fucking minute show

that I know back to front in order to try and get it down to I'm not doing it I'm not doing it I've just realised I don't have my wedding ring on and I just look like

I'm going through a rough time like I'm just buying those Apple products to fill the void left by my wife. I came straight from the gym. Oh, you take the ring off to the gym? I've done the ring. Ah, you hold the barbell. It's fucking not very good for it. It's just fucking, it's probably lift bang heavy weights at the minute. Do you not want to put it through a fucking load of the rings chain?

Tuck it in. It looked like just deed. Do you not want to put it through a fucking Lord of the Rings chain? Tuck it in. It looked like just deed. Kisses before I do my deadlift. Deadlift! They're reminding me of her. That's where I go. Sorry, what was my point there

writing that time of night would be perfect like if I I reckon I'd be writing way more if I was a divorcee yeah

I'd write a book like I'd fucking I'd fight because at that time when like fucking nobody's thinking about you in the evening

yeah yeah that would be the most like that's probably why like all artists are tortured because of the fucking I guess they're

filling that void of loneliness or something ah fuck no I'm just too happy to write I do it is this fucking thing

and I know lots of comedians feel this way and there's an ongoing discussion about it and you know it's probably not just comedians it's probably everything you've touched on it there

which is the tortured artist thing which is there's always this fear as a comedian, which is, if you become happy, you will be less funny, because humour normally comes from pain, struggle,

adversity, things thrown at you, and, you know, most of the time, happy things, you know, they're just happy, they don't need to be fucking funny or getting joy from at the moment. And you get plenty of people, I've seen, I can't remember what community it is,

been like, oh, that's such an insane way to say the word as if you're going to be less fucking funny when you're happy. As somebody who's much happier than I was when I was 25, I'm so much less funny.

I'm so, I am palpably less funny than I was when I was 25. Are you just easier entertained when you're happy? You find stuff like, you find simple stuff funny because you're

already in a positive disposition well I'm also trying to impress less fucking people yeah I'm like your opinion means less to me because I've got people

now close to me who I love and their opinion means the most to me it's hard to seek the validation of strangers when you've got just validation of loved ones

all the time yeah so it is it is a hard place to write. I tell you where it's fucking annoying this. The place I come up with good ideas the most, right, is if I'm driving listening to music. If I'm driving listening to an audio book,

I'm not thinking of shit because I'm listening to the audio book. And if I can't have a thought, I punish myself for it or wind it and fucking snap back into it, right? So I don't let myself think that way, which is most of how I drive. But if I'm driving listening to music, I'll have ideas and it's frustrating because i'll be on the fucking m8 coming here and i'm roast battling colin thinking of a fucking belt i roast for colin and again right now i'm gonna have to fucking write that down when i pull over and then i pull

over and say hello to you come to your podcast and then i'm like oh shit i'll have to write that down after i'm already clutching at what it might have been all right so like if you're in a position to not write shit down And that's the place when you think the best What a shit catch 22 that is Aye There's got to be a way around that I mean I guess voice memo would be the way around that

But like That's just something so inherently wanky Like I think If I was ever in my car And a joke came to me And I went Okay Google, jot this down. Rhinos, they're an endangered species and the way to save them is to hunt a select few. Also, white men are endangered.

I think if I ever had a brief moment of self-reflection of doing that in my Tesla, I would go, you know what? That next lamppost is what I need to go through. Like, unclick the fucking belt straight off the road. Send me fucking through. I know. Put your feet where the airbags are about to come in. Or just under the back window.

Hold on. So the Tesla hit the lamppost but his body's 30 feet behind look we caught it on some one of the one of the road cameras it looked sick

it makes no sense we've got a bunch of physicists in here they can't make any sense of it anyway that's the bit the right rhino bit's

not the bit they're examining they're writing it down that's the bit. The right rhino bit's not the bit. They're examining, they're writing it down. That's the bit. Write that down. Doing OK Google of that being the bit. I've never not counted. And then just Russian doll the bit

and then that's an entire show. I used to, I remember when I was younger, I don't know if it's necessarily I had more passion for this job, I don't want to say that, but I think when I was younger and less successful, because this job fell out of reach, it was something I hadn't attained, it was always, you know, God, I want to do this.

Man, there were times when I'd be at home still living with my parents and I'd wake up at one in the morning and I'd have a joke come to me and I would literally take myself out of bed and I'd go downstairs, open my laptop in the kitchen and I'd sit and fucking write down. Nowadays, if I wake up at one in the morning and my brain goes, here's a funny joke, and I'm like, my phone is there. It's within fucking hand reach. I'm like, oh well, today a joke died.

That's nothing. I'm like, I'm a genius. I'll come up with another one. And then it's July and you're like, what? I'm pretty sure I had some funny thoughts this year, but according to my phone, it's just shopping lists. And I don't find well that if I just go back and start listening through podcasts,

there'd be stuff that got captured. I'm not doing that. I'm not going to do that when I just go back and start listening through podcasts there'd be stuff that got captured I'm not doing that I'm not going to do that when I'm going for my photos tagging Brucey in them who I picture future me to be is a fucking square every time I'm like ooh I'd like to do that

why am I trying to create like somebody that's going to hate their life as an ideal as an my ideology for myself is an absolute

fucking loser yeah yeah well I'm noticing that during during this month I've been like

you know what I'm going to give myself structure you know I'm not I'm not I'm not getting drunk and I'm not getting stoned tonight so I can't wake up at seven in the morning I'll come out I'll do some gem I'll fucking meditate and the entire every morning is I and it's this great this is about every day has gone so far in January for me my coffee alarm clock goes off at

6 50 does it make you a coffee it makes me you a coffee? It makes me a wee espresso. I remember you showed us that. I was like, he's going to somehow turn that into a clothes rack. They're somehow going to end up with towels and that hanging off it. Oh man, I haven't used it in four years, but you know, I fucking dust it off. A little relic.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, I haven't used it in four years, but the tray that keeps all the coffee beans I'm like that'll still be good I'm like coffee

coffee doesn't go off what's that based on a gut feeling yeah are you gonna have a lot of gut feelings later on you fucking moron so I wake up

coffee alarm goes up at 6.50 makes me my coffee eh Carrot and Kaelin are both able to sleep through it drink my coffee put on my Kaelin are both able to sleep through it drink my coffee put on my gym stuff I go outside I walk

to the office I step over that fucking tree get in here I do a bit of cardio I do some stretching sometimes I do some abs and then I sit

and I meditate and the entire time I am meditating right all the intrusive thoughts in my head are you fucking wanker.

You fucking wanker. And you just have to watch the thought of calling yourself a wanker just float off and dissipate and return back to the breathing. I'm not my own thoughts, that's not who I am. Just observe that thought. Oh, here comes another thought. What a fucking loser. It's the same thought again. But that's not my own thoughts, that's not who I am, just observe that thought. Oh, here comes another thought. What a fucking loser.

It's the same thought again. But that's not my thought, that's not my thought. Thoughts are like cars passing in a motorway. You're not in charge of them, you're not in control of them, you're just there to observe them. This one's going, oh good, here comes another two. I'm a wanker again, aren't I? I'm just, oh God, I'm just such a fuck.

And then eventually they're like, and that was it, over. I'm like, I've just called myself a wanker for ten minutes. There's nothing relaxing about this. Your version of meditation is like fucking playing Beat Saber on God mode. Just slashing through loads of intrusive thoughts. Like, fuck off. Well, now I feel refreshed.

You've got a big sweat on and that. I get outside. And you know what, man? Here's the thing that fucking kills me, and this is the bit where... Because here's the crux. That isn't me. This isn't who I fucking am, right?

This is the idea of who I want to be in my head, because for some reason, the deep inner me hates who I actually am, and I've got this idea of what the perfect me is, because, you know, I'll never be good enough for myself for whatever fucking reasons of my childhood or fucking brain chemistry

or what fucking ever. Every time I try and choose myself, it's, I'm just putting on makeup, man. That's all I do in January. I put on fucking makeup and I go out and pull a fucking hot guy

and then it gets to February and I'm like, I'm not putting makeup on anymore. I can't be fucking arsed with this shit. You're pumping the brakes. You've still got to get back to being you. You're just pumping the brakes, that's all. Otherwise you'll get out of a slob.

And I think that's the fucking con of all of these public speakers and these self-help books. I think there is a population, I think there's a percentage of the population in the same way there's a percentage of the population who is better at football. There's a percentage of the population who is better at football there's a percentage of

Population who have photographic memory, right? It's just this they've got the same in their head where they can just look at a page and it's memorized and they can go Through that it's just a fucking never there are a small percent of the population who are able to change themselves, right? But I don't think that's true for the rest of all and these fucking three percent of people who can change themselves and did change themselves They just go and sell this fucking lie. And this lie lasts a month, two months, three months. But somebody bought the book. Matt, we're all fucking human beings. Like, eventually, like, you know, unless you're a fucking monk who's training fucking regularly to fully change your fucking lifestyle and your reaction to things.

Like, you know, the way we react to things happen over the years of our life it's i mean we've discussed this on the podcast before which is you know it's like how rivers are formed the way you react to something is first a trickle through some sand right and then the second time that sort of thing happens again the easy your brain just goes oh this is the easiest route to that and over years and years and years you have this gorge of this is how I cope with this thing. And you get books like fucking, what's the one you were reading? Tom and Cabot. Talking about how you fucking change that thing.

And look. Mushrooms is the answer for snowfall to fill the groove so you can make new ones. Take acid. You think? I reckon so. I reckon that fires up new pathways in your brain that you can use. I don't know.

I think if you're fucking stuck in your thought patterns, I reckon a good fucking know I think if you're if you're fucking stuck in your thought patterns I reckon go and fucking deal on the shrooms sort it right out I'm not a doctor but just like

give it a shot just give it a bash what you're not going to become a fucking airline pilot so it's not going to cost you a job unless you did it work I had a

I'm the opposite of you when meditating now when I sit down and meditate it's just fucking like every now and again a thought comes and it's fine

I can just let it drift off right on New Year's Day when we're here I'd still try to keep my habits up even though like it was

we're partying drinking and all that right and I was like I guess the next day I went I've done most of my habits

yesterday and I was like oh because I've done my work I've done my fucking cold shower and all that I didn't leave me

meditating because I was running people all day and everything she just went aye my fucking cold shower and all that I didn't even need meditating because I was around people all day and everything she just went aye but I'm sure there was five minutes of the day when

there was nothing in your head yeah minimum fucking bare minimum aye I don't have an internal bully leg oh god yeah I got this little hype man that comes in

I'm not a bully It's me It's the actual I used to absolutely Have a hype man in my head And now that I'm 32 I realise it was delusion It was 100% Fucking delusion

Didn't let that guy go bud I feel like I've trained that guy because he was a bit too much. No, I, upon reflection, didn't fucking, man,

don't get me wrong, if I could have the fucking ego that I used to have in my 20s, I'd love it for a fucking day. Man, I truly believe, there was a point in my fucking life

where I truly believed I was in like the top fucking 50 comics of all time. That was in my fucking head. I was like, there's no 32 I'm like hey I'm a successful comic and that's more than I could have ever asked for what a fucking lucky situation don't be wrong I put the effort and I fucking grafted but like this it's not as but what are you like you are to some people yeah but not people I respect that's who listen to the podcast uh huh

and they know my feelings towards them I've never I don't think I've ever pulled punches so what like do you want to be in the top 50

or on the like BBC top 100 list like you want to be in there no you want to be in there while the mainstream guys no no

I just I don't know but like with comics as much as i as much as i fucking miss the assuredness that i used to have in my own ability and who i was in the direction i was going and this this infallible confidence in in me now that i'm older and i've you know i'm i'm aware of my anxieties i'm aware of my fears i'm i'm aware of you know the things that i'm older and I've you know I'm aware of my anxieties I'm aware of my fears I'm aware of you know the things that I'm scared of in the world and you know I'm like oh god I mean that

was because now and this is why I was when you get older you see it in fucking younger people like everyone now that I see online who's screaming about how good they are and they're the best at this I'm like oh buddy you're just shouting at yourself that's all you're actually doing you're not trying to convince the world that you're this good you're not telling everyone you're trying to convince that voice

in the back of your head that you're not and I say just fucking you know I think well I mean I feel I think the goal is surrender I think you just have to go

you know what I mean that's why everyone fucking talks about ego death I don't think I'm anywhere goal is surrender I think you just have to go you know what I mean that's why everyone fucking talks about ego death I don't think I'm anywhere near that I'm not claiming anything I'm doing is spiritual in any way but everyone talks about how ego death is like one of the

most important things in the world at the moment I think I just have like ego cancer your ego's got a limp yeah yeah yeah my ego's stubbed to its toe yeah yeah, yeah. My ego's stuck to its toe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dead to the ego. Yeah, yeah. Under the weather. Yeah, ego's got the rona. I miss ego, but I don't, but also, I must have,

people must have fucking hated me because I wasn't paying attention to how other people fucking perceived me because it didn't matter to me as much. The self-awareness thing has got to be like, it's got to be a pro and it's got to be a part of getting older. You kind of take that person into your 40s for sure. Like earlier on when we were talking about shooting the rhinos and all that,

right, I remember when I was working at the sports centre, one of my mates was going to Thailand on holiday and he was like, oh, it's classy, you can get a rocket launcher and shoot a cow. And he was like, you can get a chicken on the end of a fucking string and feed an alligator. Like at the time, with no, like, why would you want to do that in my head? I'd be like, that's class, that!

Fucking hell, how much is it going out there? 1500 pun, man, if I start saving now. By the time I'm 30, I could go and feed a fucking alligator a chicken. Now, if you were like, I'll pay you to feed a fucking alligator chicken new if you're like i'll pay it i'll grab me i'll just i'll have the chicken myself and i'll turn that into a hand and i'll fire the rock launch i just did a barrel that's so that's so make so like to did to have them their moments like because that that guy he was he was having a lot of fun, and I was,

and he didn't have any fucking idea about implications and actions and all that, right? But I'm glad I'm not that guy anymore, you know? So with that ignorance comes ego, and comes fucking self-congratulation and thinking you're class. So you have to lose a bit of that, I think, to just grow up. Yeah. But I still try to keep my hype man

with us and I try not to regret anything that I was well yeah I think there is an important distinction to make between self awareness and self loathing you can be self aware and be like okay

I'm probably not in the top 50 comics of all time. But also that's fine. That doesn't matter. I have an audience that loves me. I have a fucking career I never fucking dreamed. But what you can't let that transfer into is, you know, you're shit.

You're not good enough. And I think there's a line there that we're very bad at diagnosing ourselves. Something to you that might feel like self-awareness is actually self-loathing because you're like oh i'm not good enough and and and i know that i know i'm not good enough it's in my head that's me being self-aware i'm not good enough the way i'm self-aware that i'm not good enough buddy that's not self-awareness that is part of you fucking hates yourself and you need

to get that sorted out yeah and it's that comparison the death of joy thing like it's such a fucking cliched wank fucking poster in a gym or whatever to the sunset. But if you're talking about the top 50 and everything, what does that get you? I've heard every year the fucking comic comes out, it would be nice to be a comedian's comedian and for other comedians to respect what you do.

You go on stage, and I go on stage, and people are laughing at every point the way we want them to laugh and we're been as good as we could be yet never in that conversation but if you can just look at them getting nominated

or whatever in the fraternity and just go oh good for you but like also I wouldn't look at you like a threat

to me position or like I wouldn't hate to follow you like you can look at that and go I still rate myself

as up there I just maybe haven't got the recognition from some people and that's fine because i just need to pass my own judgment and more so the audience who's paid for tickets has got to pass their judgment and it would be nice to be in that conversation by the newspapers by the industry by the fucking award panel at the fringe but as long as you're getting up and doing your job and the people that bought the tickets are laughing from beginning to end and you had a nice time on stage like is that not enough yeah well also i don't i don't i i i think the industry especially in the uk is i don't

necessarily think it's dying but i think very old dead branches are falling off it and the tree itself is changing uh not necessarily in a fucking bad way. I mean, I know we've... I saw a comedian who I've known for years, like, love the guy. He was comparing and he said to somebody that was sat in the front row, are you in show business?

And then he said no. And then he went, we'll get your feet off the stage then. That was hack when I started. Yeah yeah yeah I've been doing it For nearly 14 years Stuart Francis

Sorry Yeah That's one of the oldest Hackest jokes That I mean That's become The punchline Stuart Francis

Had a really good version Of that Which is He was on stage At the stand And there's somebody In the front row And of course

Because it's Stuart Francis There's like seven comedians At the fucking back of the room Just watching him And he goes to someone in the front row and he'll be like are you in show business? and their feet are on the stage

and they go no and he goes you should be you've got lovely eyes amazing only the comics at the back laughing only the comics laughing everyone else being like

what a what a weird why is he flitting? what a guy unusual little moment yeah so funny but that's like

that becomes the butt of the joke is the day in the hack bit in like Subvert and it's still day in and out you're like oh just yeah you've had a flat tyre

for the last hundred miles of the journey dude like pull over go to a service station service the jokes I get that I well I also think it's just

I mean it's so very I now understand that it's so very silly to in a subjective art form, to try and compare yourselves to others. And also they're creating an industry that is largely unfair and has been unfair. And it's unfair to different people at different fucking points in time. It's changed who it's unfair to.

different people at different fucking points in time it's changed who it's unfair to um you know i do believe maybe now comedy is becoming a little bit of a meritocracy for the first time in years because now it's no longer up to you know some fucking head of the bbc to decide what audiences will find funny now thanks to fucking tiktok and instagram and stuff audience comedians like fucking milo mccabe can now fucking directly instead of instead of the BBC being like oh we don't think this character will work on television and we obviously know heaps of comedy despite the fact that none of us

have stepped foot in a comedy club in seven years and none of us are actually funny in ourselves all we can do is we just follow the hype and then and then we get that talent and

what we do is we hamstring it as much as we can but then attach ourselves to it so any of the talent that falls off this falls onto us so we can feel part of the project it so any of the time that falls off this falls onto us so we can feel part of the project you've now got people who are like oh well fuck this and just get their audience right paul smith is the prime example of why every comedy exec in the bbc

should jump off the top of the fucking building themselves like it's um and i i and it's interesting to see it go that way part of of me, man, I fucking really hope, I really hope I'm right here. I really hope that is the change that's going through and there's this. Oh yeah, self-productions. Like I see a little panic from like agency and producers and stuff like that

from how self-sufficient comedians can be just because of like the easy access for video editing and being able to self-promote on the internet and stuff like i feel like uh anybody in the industry really needs to fucking step up with how much input have because like it should literally be them that are like fucking now producing the clips and putting the clips out and stuff it shouldn't be left down in the comic the day it really if uh if if there's producers involved. Yeah, but they just don't. I think there's only like, I think TV producers are a lot like journalists,

which is 5% of them are good and in it for the right reasons and the rest are just in it for their own version of attention. I'd done something the other day that every comic had to do, but I found it quite healthy how easy it was in the end. I watched one of my shows back

and I was dreading doing it, right? So my website should be live now. I've been getting a new website done. So when this comes out, www.kaihunfries.com should have my show Punch Drunk and then all of my ticket links for my new tour.

I'm going to be doing Manchester, Liverpool, London, Leicester and Glasgow. I think that's it. But that's going to be on the front page will be my show for free that you can watch in my new show which i'm touring which you can buy tickets for um but before i put the show online for free i was like i better watch it back i recorded it in 2017 and i haven't watched it since i started selling it in 2018 so what four years five years four and a bit um i really braced myself for watching it back and i really liked it i was like i forgot about them jokes i

liked how i felt the story i liked the story itself i kicked myself that i missed a quite obvious callback um that was the only time i was really brutal on myself was as a right hour when I was like, you told that fucking show a hundred times and you didn't notice that, you fucking idiot. But that's only because I didn't watch it back. If I'd watched it back, I would have funded. If I had brought myself to watch it back in the creative process, I would have funded. I don't know.

I think, no, I don't understand where you're coming from. I don't necessarily think that's true though. I think some of the time that it takes, even if you were to watch the show back, that's not taking a step back from the show. You have to take a certain number of steps backwards before you can see the whole thing and go, ah.

And I think it's something you would be able to fucking train into yourself. But if that training process is watching my stand up over and over again. Because we do it when we write new jokes. Man, I listen to, the second I come off stage at the stand after doing a new 10, we write new jokes is man i listen to the second i come off stage at the stand after doing a new 10 i get in my car and i listen to it fucking yeah

and realize it was a bit hurried of course slow it down or whatever um another thing that i was like i didn't want to pick into myself too much because i like i really didn't find the process of watching it back bad at all i like i enjoyed the show I'd honestly rather watch myself masturbate like I'd I would rather go on fucking Pornhub and for whatever reason

find a fucking video of me masturbating and see my own cum face but he'd have me I'd be watching he'd be like

oh look my abs look right there look at me left arm I'm flexing those veins on my bicep fucking hell three and a half minutes everyone else

would just look at that ugly grunting face and I'm just like right what's good about it find the good stuff focus on that now there was three moments

and three is too many where I used the same turn of phrase which was the fruits of your labour oh god that was a bit like the third time it hit, I was like,

why do you keep saying that one? Yeah. Was it in a book that you read that day? Is it just? I've fucking no idea, mate. I don't know. It's not like I say it all the time in day-to-day life. But it was, like, it was because of the audience that were in,

one of the people that raised the funds. And when I showed the video of the fund, I'm like, look at the FTSE labor. And then, like like it was the fucking Ricketts scratch card thing where I was just like now sit back and enjoy

the fruits of his labour like what the fuck did you say that for that's the fucking killer like I guess that's the point where like some people

some people in a negative disposition would watch that and go well I'm not putting that on the internet I can't put that out. And also it's the thing of, as the artist,

nobody scrutinises your work as much as you do. And I feel bad that I've pointed that out because they may not have noticed. If they got to watch it, which I think the majority of these will have watched it anyway because I put it free on Patreon when I started the Patreon, I should stop telling people I did that because they'll happily just not see it

But then now I said it They can't unsee it, I've spoiled it for them Shattered the glass We're going to answer everyone's questions now Aye, and if you want to watch Any of my specials that I physically Cannot watch Socio is £5 on my website

Danielsfloss.com and X is for free Unless you are in the US Canada or Bermuda in which case you can watch it on HBO you