Sloss and Humphries On The Road - 5.8: Past it’s Best

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

Muggins is on his way to see his football hero, Alan Shearer. Cream is trusting his instincts on Bill Gates The boys try to pass off their bad hygiene and disregard for use by dates as strengthening their immune systems.   For early access to your weekly episodes, receiving them Monday instead of Wednesday, and to get an additional bonus episode every Thursday subscribe via www.patreon.com/slossandhumphries

Hello, thanks for tuning in to Sloss and Humphreys On The Road. We've got a nice episode for you here. I'm doing the intro. I always feel like Daniel's better, but I kind of capture his vibe where he's like, oh, cheers for your money, fuckheads, and all that. It doesn't work with me. I also think it looks unctuous coming from me when I'm sat here like, oh, like and subscribe and please share it with all your friends. So I'm just going to sit here authentically and just say thanks for listening to the podcast and enjoy this one. Sloss and Humphreys on the road.

Muggins and cream, cream and muggins. Straight thuggin', livin' the dream. That's our intro. Fuckin' muggles. Ticklin' the clit inside your head that makes you laugh. Woohoo! They said it can't be done. Are we in the same seats?

That's hack. Aw, muggles. Accidental rim job in the park. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Or might just be cynical. Just muggled it up on fucking Mugglepedia. Where have you been since 9-11? We were talking about getting people's names wrong there.

Aye. Ah, and how people get precious about it. I've been called David Sloss in like newspaper articles. And I don't know, part of me goes, oh great, well now a bunch of people

think I'm called David Sloss. But the second they Google that, they'll be like, did you mean Daniel Sloss? And they'll be like, oh, well clearly, clearly I did. I don't understand.

Like if you're, because I, man, I get names wrong all the time. I fucking forget people. I mean, I'm going to say, no exaggeration. If you're going to get precious get names wrong all the time i forget people i mean i'm going to say no exactly if you're going to get precious when someone gets your name wrong you better be on phone with everyone you're talking to like all right but but but it's no but it's such a

it's it's taking somebody else's minor flaw personally what i what i am what brought it up was there's two comedians who are brothers and I called one of them, they look similar. Yeah. I called one of them by the brother's name and I don't even know if they've got beef. I don't have a clue. I don't know either of them very well. But like, it was a bit fucking...

See, me and my dad and my gran have never once in the history of knowing us ever called any of us by our correct name first. If my gran's talking to me, she'd go, Jack, Matthew, Martin, Josie, Daniel, that's it, Daniel, Daniel. And then Matthew would be there and she'd be like, oh,

anyway, Daniel, Martin, Matthew. And you're like, how is it? It's constantly, it's all the time. You're never going to get it. For some reason, you're like, here's a list of five names all the time you're never going to get it for some reason you're like here's a list of five names that could be this person's name

one is the most likely but I'm going to start from the bottom and work my way up my mum could always but the reason I bring it up is my mum says

that she can always tell whenever she's actually wound up my father or whenever we've wound up my father because the first name he'll call us is Kim. Oh yeah.

That's his closest sibling. The youngest sister. Yeah. So if you've ever if he's like oh for fuck's sake Kim you're like oh Jesus Christ I made him regress. Fucking hell. I think I took him back to Christmas 1964 there. That's unbelievable. My grandad used to

call me the wrong name on fucking Facebook Messenger when the name is literally there in front of him, just above where he's typing. He'd be like, Arikav. Or like, he'd spell it wrong, like Kia. And I'd be like, it's there. It's right fucking there.

You're opening it and looking at it. And also, there's a 50-50%. You have a 50% chance of spelling Kai correctly, right? Because it definitely starts with a K. You're never misplacing the K. And then the other two letters, it's 50-50. How are you getting a 50-50 wrong 100% of the fucking time? I still reckon it's 80-20,

because the other way around definitely doesn't spell Kai. I-A. Like, no I sound ends with an A, right? What? And there's no word that makes an I noise When it ends in an I When it ends in an A Oh yeah yeah there's got to be an I on the end of it Or a Y

I don't think there is anyway This brings me back Ray or E-A Yeah but that's an E And that's I that's not an I noise Like it was a peculiar one to get wrong or EA yeah but that's an E Ray and that's I that's not an I no it's an I yeah like it was a weird peculiar one to get wrong

but I'm not going to be there going you should know my name grandad but he should I am sick of people not knowing who Alan Shearer is

what just me last 24 hours of being scattered with people that don't know who Alan Shearer is I'm going to see Alan Shearer tonight Why

I bought a dog Oh god I picked up a I picked up a hair cart To go see Alan Shearer Does he know you're coming Do you know where he lives He should know I'm coming

Because he stole my spot I was meant to be In the stand Tonight And then I spoke about this on the podcast with Mark Nelson

I also do think you mentioned it on a podcast with me but you know I don't remember things and thank you for not taking that personally

sometimes information enters my head and sometimes it fucks off and not because there's important stuff going on in there but occasionally

I walk along and it just stops and sometimes that's your name like it just is like you can't be like if there was an earthquake right right and my bookshelf fucking started shaking and the only book that fell off of that bookshelf was the one you bought me for christmas are you are you good oh so the one i gave you that's the one that fell out yeah motherfucker it was a random event i'm not in charge of my memories. If I was, I'd get rid of all the ones that keep me up at night.

I wouldn't have my bookshelf on a fault line if I was in charge. But here we are. So that said, everything that we've just been talking about now fell off the bookshelf. Oh, no. Alan Shearer, last Saturday, we've got a joiner in at the dog park making the reception area. And he mentioned that he was into football.

I used to play football. I think he came up. I was like, oh, I'm going to see Alan Shearer tomorrow night. He's a Polish guy, but still. Arno Lewandowski. Well, excuse my football awareness here. Did Alan Shearer play in the Champions League? Were you guys in the Champions League when he was around?

You know what? He did have a Champions League season. Oh, well, I mean... Yeah, and that's why you know who Lewandowski is. We got put out by Inter Milan. Still, however, man, you've watched World Cups

and Euros and that, haven't you? Surely you've not. I don't know anyway. So, he's the fucking top scorer in the Premier League history. I think not now who Tom Brady is. I didn't even watch NFL,

but I know who Tom Brady is. Right't even watch NFL but now who Tom Brady is right so that was yesterday but the only reason you know who

Madden is because of the games you know maybe if FIFA was called

Shearer was Alan Shearer ever on the cover of a FIFA game or were

they invented after him no no because they definitely weren't invented after Ginola's because they definitely weren't after Ginola's been

on the front of one and that was Shearer era when did he retire like 2009 oh yeah

yeah okay Alan Shearer retired in 2009 something like that well that's

when he stepped in as manager and fucking oh no it's not is it that was

2016 I reckon it was 2009 when She That was 2016 I reckon it was 2009 I found out when Shiro retired I think it was before he got relegated From football? Resigned from being on the pitch in 2009 We signed him in 96 And he won the league in 95

For Blackburn He quit in 2006 Oh there we go or resigned sorry well there was definitely FIFA 04

so yeah he must have been in there so eh I went to pick up my car this morning because Natalie needs the car for that and I'm going to see Shira so I need my hire car I went to pick it up

and they had an electric car ready for us so like hope you don't mind we've got an electric car I was like but I'm going to Newcastle and back in a one hour oh you'll find everyone's got one an electric car. I was like, but I'm going to Newcastle and back and I want a...

Well, you'll find they want to go out one now. Oh, does it? I was like, because I know there's a difference between, we've got a Tesla for you and we've got real bottom of the rung hire car. Like, I'm on the Corsa class of car that I'm hiring. I'm not going to get, like, I don't even know if I can charge it when I'm here. Like, I was like, I'm time sensitive. I was like, I'm going going to get I don't even know if I can charge it when I'm here I was like I'm time sensitive

I'm going to Edinburgh to do some work, I'm going to Newcastle to see a show and I'm driving back through the night all the way to Glasgow from Newcastle I don't know if the A1 has one and if it does I don't want to be sat there for an hour The good thing is that cars, electric cars

came in after that very very good European law came in. Because I don't know if people know what mobile phones, if you have any fucking memory of mobile phones pre-2011, I'm going to say. I don't know when this law was introduced, but basically the EU went, right, one fucking charger, one. One fucking end that fits everything

because before that your Ericsson would have this wee fucking C-shaped charger your fucking Nokia would have this extra pointy long one

your different Nokia would have a slightly fucking thicker one so have Apple stepped in line now because they were lightning cable compared to everyone

on USBC because they're a scummy piece of shit company who are just like none of the laws of blood they don't pay tax there's no way

they're obeying the fucking law put in by some you know other countries fucking well i'm sorry they probably weighed up the price of the fine and the price of everyone buying their shit and just went i sure i would just be like well and also because because it doesn't work for them if they use the universal charger because then people will just sit buy the cheaper version they have to buy if they make it their own specific one, they can be like, and it's 30 quid to buy a new one.

It's that. Because I'm so invested in Apple now because I've got like fucking, you know what it's like. If you've got, if everything's the same brand, it's so much easier. Like if you're full kit wanga.

I love it when it gets a win over another phone. And the one the other day was was Natalie had the sat-nav attached to the fucking car screen. And then I was like, she was trying to type it in, but you can't type it in when you drive because smart cars are dickheads. A smart, pretentious cunt. And I went, I'll just put it in on your phone then

because she's telling us to pull over. She'll change it. And she's like, well, it says I can't because it's attached to the screen. And I was like, I've got to go ahead. Oh, fucking Samsung, man. So I pulled over, which normally it's the other way around.

I do like it when I get a win because I'm so fucking invested in it. Well, to be fair, whatever win you feel when Apple wins over will never trump the rest of our win when Steve Jobs died of a curable disease. That's the ultimate fucking, that's the ultimate.

Your fucking God was like, chemo, never, nah. I chemo, it's just called chemo, not interested. I'm going to get some apples and I'm going to shove some hemp up my ass and I'm going to get a fucking canadian

bearded man from way up north to scream old chance into my asshole what do you mean it's spread what do you huh it's in my eyes now okay well get me two canadians like i guess we're gonna have to find an inuit tribe to hopefully shout other things up my ass i swear to god if you tell me the cancer is getting worse, oh, I guess we'll try chemo. Dead cunt in the ground. La, la, la. That was your big middle finger, the people who buy Apple products.

Yeah, that's your fucking genius. Dying of a beautiful fucking disease. Can I just point out who you are as a person, right? If somebody has Apple products, right, their God, as you said earlier, I've got a record, is Steve Jobs. Yeah, you drive a tesla but completely disassociate from the owner well i can well can i just accept it i don't know is your god by your own logic oh well yeah but i'm an atheist so he could be there no matter how

much evidence you give me that it exists i'm like i'm still gonna live my life the way i want to live and it's against everything you stand so if he if he died of cancer, I wouldn't be able to say ha-ha to you as if you loved him. You could. But also, I would be thoroughly laughing with you. The day Elon Musk dies,

I worry. I'll have to masturbate with a condom on because I'll be chafed by 9am. That being said, I do love what he's done to Twitter. The fact, for those of you that might not know, because I didn't know this because I'm not on Twitter, but then I said, you know the news where people start sending you memes and you don't really get what the memes mean. So then you have to be like, oh fuck, I have to Google what's in the news right now. I'll have to watch a BBC News article to get some kind of...

Elon Musk has accidentally, well, not accidentally, did something positive, but he didn't know he was going to do that. He was trying to make money for Twitter, so he's charging people eight quid to get a fucking blue tick. So obviously all the funniest people in the world just went, I'll pay eight dollars for the funniest prank. To pretend to be a politician and quit, man. So they just went and my name Is normally this but I'm going to change it to Kellogg's And here's a blue tick And just so everyone knows

Us here at Kellogg's think slavery Is fucking class And obviously because Elon Musk Has done nothing to prevent Disinformation online because he doesn't You know he's going to bring fucking Trump Back to this platform he's like you know trust people it's the internet it's all jokes it's all banner big companies are losing hundreds of millions and millions of dollars because some little boy

in india is just like i'm gonna pretend that tesla's really in to mickey mouse ghost at goat see porn like that. Somebody posted a Republican what do you call them constituent and quit the trial they quit the campaign they're campaigning for

they announced like I'm sorry to come to this but I'm going to have to stop the campaign and the BBC put the article out and just

they kept going back to this is giving credit to bad actors I can't remember the exact word and right but it was just like bad actors can come across as good actors but they kept like putting that in with like this could start gun crime and terrorism and bad actors could get roles in movies

i just i just love that concept of just like putting absolute chances getting a role yeah in with acts of terrorism it's like it's the worst that could come from this twitter blue tick thing did you see the insulin one no it was some american big um pharmacy company someone made a fake account i think it's called lily and co um they charge like 300 dollars for insulin so someone made a fake account and posted like oh we're decreasing the price of insulin to a dollar it It fucking blew up. And then. Crushed our website. So instead of them doing like a proper reply, they were just like, oh, it's a fake account.

That wasn't us. We're not changing the price of insulin. And their market cap dropped 20%. Great. Amazing. So good. There's going to be lawsuits, surely. Yeah, good.

Well, no. I mean, lost against who because you can't you can't against Twitter against Twitter it's a win win but

it's so good man it's it's so fucking weird that with all the billionaires out there we still don't

have like a Tony Stark because this is the fucking Bill Gates I mean again, please with everything I say take a pinch of salt and understand I've not read the articles you've read and I don't care

because I don't respect any of your opinions because your opinions are not my opinions I respect your right to have those opinions but I fundamentally could not give a fucking shit how you live your life, because I live a better one, so I'm right.

Bill Gates, as far as I'm concerned, decent fucking bloke. Seems to be like a good, good billionaire. I think everybody that would have stomped out at this point already left when you slagged off Johnny Depp. Aye. But Bill Gates is just one of these ones, as far as I can see,

he's just being, all the hate against him seems to be from the conspiracy theories am I incorrect with that or is he a dick? I mean it's like could you have a good monarch you could have a good king or queen but just fundamentally their existence is still bad, I would say he's probably

one of the better ones but he still shouldn't exist but I feel like I mean maybe this is just me with my big fucking bleeding heart lip out but i feel like he pays taxes is that just me being a fucking i think so he also gives all of it have i bought into bullshit as well but does he not like provide our fucking villages with water and that yeah i've seen him like honestly got into the river with a fucking jug and he's eating that he does it personally doesn't even use his money. He just grafts.

But because he was pushing the fucking COVID vaccines and invested so much, obviously all these fucking idiot, stupid fucking cunts who think them not understanding science means scientists don't understand science, all this, you know, the do your own research lot. As if all of these scientists haven't done 12 years of research as opposed to your four hours after a wank while in bed

because you're bored, you boring stoner. Said the boring stoner. Like it's, so there's these people out there that have been like, oh, you know, he's putting all these vaccines in it so he can track people. And I feel like even if you don't believe the bad shit being said about someone, if you constantly hear people bitching about them,

you'll just naturally have negative connotations towards them. And I feel like Bill Gates up there, I could be in charge of him. He might be part of Epstein's fucking ring. Who knows? I think he might have been in Epstein's black book. What? Like the book. Get Epstein's black book up and see who's fucking ring. Who knows? I think he might have been in Epstein's black book. What? Get Epstein's black book up

and see who's in it. I don't know if his name was on it. Don't bring it up. Don't bring it up. Get the book out. Epstein's black book forward by Daniel Stott. Did he have a black book? First of all Is there an actual black book?

Or is this just a log of people that flew to his island? I don't know I think it just refers to people that have been But hold on When you're looking at your boarding pass And it says Pedo Island Are you not Thinking at some point

Like There's no, there's. Do you reckon you could forgive someone that one time? If they went to FC Ireland? You know, like, if they just were invited for a game of golf in this fucking golf course or whatever, and they went run, and they touched dune, and then it was a bit sleazy, and fucking people were getting massive scratches on 13-year-olds,

and they were like, fucking anybody can ever know about this, let's go on right after the game of golf. Or do you think if you fucking were foolish enough to get on that first plane? Well, so if he has got a black book, do you think there's anybody where you can, where they might not have known?

Well, I mean, that's the thing, like, yeah, but I've, no, no,

here's why I don't believe that, right? I don't think it's possible to not know because when Louis CK was doing what he was doing why I don't believe that, right? I don't think it's possible to not know because when Louis C.K. was doing what he was doing for however long he was fucking doing it, every single person on the comedy scene knew it and they knew what was going on because

I, as a 21-year-old comedian, when I went to Montreal for the first time, heard those fucking rumours. So if I know it, everyone fucking knows it. There is a sexual predator on the comedy scene right now, a very, very famous predator on the comedy scene right now. A very, very famous one on the UK scene who everyone knows that they are a serial rapist.

Everyone knows. But, and it's been spoken about on other shows, never the name. Never the name because they have a very, very powerful group of lawyers and obviously slander laws are very difficult. There's... Yes.

So there's... People are just being fucking intimidated and here's the thing when that person died there's another celebrity who's not in comedy but kind of is who's an older one and it's very very similar to jimmy savile everyone in the industry knows this person's name and i guarantee when they die in the next five years which they will it's going to come out and you're going to get a bunch of celebrities being like oh we didn't know and it's like yes you fucking did we all knew

we all know but you can't do it because all these fucking libel laws are in place and because people are bastards and all these people are very very rich and powerful like the rapist

I don't think it will ever be fucking outed because I mean there was a comedian that did do a show that mentioned him I saw that show they said his. And then afterwards was you know. Drags to the courts and that.

Well not anything they went to but were dealt with. So I don't believe that anyone who went to Epstein's Island had not heard the fucking rumours. There's no way. I don't, whenever any celebrities are like we worked with this guy for five years and it turns out he was a creep and everyone was like we didn't know and i'm like you fucking because i know i i know i know these three awful people and then it's basically going to come out that they did these things and people are going to be like did you know and go to be like yep why don't you do anything like there's nothing i can't do i can say their name and then they'll sue me into the fucking ground,

and then my life's over, and then nobody else will come forward, and then it's, you know. So you think everybody that went to this island guiltier than something? Yeah, yeah. Have you got the list? Well, when I looked up Bill Gates,

like, Epstein, it didn't come up with any, like, named things, but they just had a few meetings and stuff. But, again, he, like, recently has been like, oh, yeah, we were just meeting up for business, and they didn't come up with any named things but they just had a few meetings and stuff but again recently he's been like oh yeah we were just meeting up for business and then I didn't really like him, he didn't agree with me on a lot of things so cut contact

that is a possibility but I'm trying to be like if fucking if a celebrity I didn't like was like we just had a couple of business meetings together I'd be like you fool of shit fucking what

Bill do you think I'm going to eat that shit up so I gotta be honest and be like well Bill Gates said it and I'd like he's on my side so I believe 100%

like you know how you can get all the pictures of P.S. what's his name P.S. Morgan with Jimmy Savile Weinstein Epstein like fucking all the worst cunts inS. Morgan with Jimmy Savile, Weinstein, Epstein, like fucking all the worst cunts in history.

You can find a picture of him. Like, the guy's a journalist, so he has to meet the people. So you could get a picture with him and the five nicest guys on the planet, right? And go, look how nice he is. He's with these nice guys. But that said,

I will absolutely let it fit my narrative with that cunt. Yeah. And just can't, he fucking knew him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at this, he met all of them,

fucking Rolf Harris now. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think you can just tell by people who's fucking, you know. What about Stephen Hawking was meant to go to the island, wasn't he?

He wasn't playing golf. What were he doing, mate? He wasn't playing golf, like and played golf At least Bill Clinton Went for 30 odd games of golf Ah yeah I mean that's It's so mad to me And I know so little about American Politics

That Whether he's innocent Or not Bill Clinton just as he's innocent or not, Bill Clinton, just as he's gotten older, I'm just like, you and Hillary should have died several years ago because the older you get, the more creepy and evil you both look.

And it's hard not to believe that it's all the evil things you've done seeping into your skin. Now, I don't believe in the fucking, like the Clinton fucking body count. I've heard about it. I think it's a fucking conspiracy theory. That being said,

how, the older you get, the more you just inhabiting a creepy lizard pedo. Like, you've got so much money. Get a facelift.

Do something. You know, if you're in a position of leadership, I should never nab what you're got so much money. Get a facelift. Do something, man. You know, as well, if you're in a position of leadership, I should never know about your cock. Yeah. Your cock should never be in the conversation. Like, it's not even in a position of power, but you know, David Attenborough.

Until now, I've never once thought about his cock. Yeah. Like, the guy's genitals are, like, known or something. He is who he is. Yeah. If you're in a leadership position, I should never once hear hear a wee a cock it shouldn't matter

I feel like also the I mean Hillary Clinton lost to Donald Trump like how evil and creepy looking do you gotta be I know there were outside influences and I'm being very very reductive

about how she lost I've seen the South Park episodes I'm being very, very reductive about how she lost. Have you seen the South Park episodes? I think they had a whole series on it where Mr Garrison, Donald Trump, was trying to lose the election but couldn't because Hillary Clinton was so bad and he's getting furious. He's just like,

just get out of your own way! He wanted a new partner and he was trying everything to lose and couldn't. Little break? Huh? Little break. For what? We were chatting before, guys.

We should put breaks in. Oh. Tell us about your Elon Musk. You said there was two conspiracy theories Matthew? They're not conspiracies, it's like why he's doing What he's doing to Twitter So there's the

He's genuinely So this is option one, he's genuinely just Stupid and doesn't know how to run A platform So he's actually trying his best And that's a good smokescreen if it's not So that's option one It's just he's actually trying his best and that's a good smoke screen if it's not yeah so that's option one it's just he's completely incapable which pretty possible because he's done it with loads of other companies and also it's a different business adventure he's really good at making fucking

electric batteries and electric cars but he's not you know great at social media platforms. Very possible. So, option two is a lot more evidence. So, there was a Dogecoin thing. So it's a cryptocurrency. He did this thing where he got all of his Twitter followers to buy into it under the guise that it was this joke investment,

whatever. So he would have bought a bunch, told all his followers to buy it, bumps up the price, he sells this huge amount, makes a huge profit, market manipulation, but you can't get sued for it

because crypto doesn't have the same laws as stocks. It doesn't have stock manipulation. Are you saying a little way of, if you're fucking diet, you're on risk. Yeah. So with Twitter, he attempted the same thing where he bought a bunch of Twitter stocks, which he did, was going to just, you know, say, oh, I love Twitter and free speech, raise the price, sell it all off.

But then, because it's actual stocks, there are laws in place to stop it, so he was forced to buy the company. So now he's sinking it because Twitter has never been profitable. So he's been caught in his own fucking trap. So he now has to sink Twitter so he can file for bankruptcy and not have to lose money on it. Oh, you know what? I'd like that option.

Like, that's a good thing to do, man. It makes more sense. You know, I got into the galaxy where he fucking Drax destroys that beast from the inside and he just comes bursting out of it yeah so you like

yeah that's what I believe not to be too much of an archer but I mean Drax actually doesn't do anything to help kill that creature the whole point is

he thinks he did but it was he comes out he's like did you see how I killed the beast and he had nothing

but I just remembered I was the beat? And he had nothing. But I just remembered it. I was the person, I went, I did see that. That was wonderful, Drax. Oh, my God. My favourite movie, Drax and Friends. I'd respect him for that. I know I shouldn't, but if he was just like,

I'm going to burn this awful cesspit into the fucking ground you know what I find it funny for comedians who have just got their blue tick because I've never I've never like went for the

I've never went for the blue tick because you have to apply for it and like I get it if like some if you've got a namesake that's talking shit in your name

and it looks like it could be you or you've got like people like not intimidating imitating you I get that but the fact or you've got like people like not intimidating imitating you I get that but the fact that

you have to like apply for your own fame like that was to me was almost as bad as the fucking eight dollars anyway but you know

if somebody's just been rejected like a handful of times and then they finally get it and they're like oh like that's self-worth

hinged on it like I got it and then all of a sudden fucking any old open spot. Daniel's got a proper book too. Yeah I've got a

real one yeah yeah but also I've not I haven't oh no that's not true I did log on Twitter last week because occasionally people send me tweets of

like people just funny tweets and you'll go in there and you'll glimpse it but man it's like going to an old school for me where I'm just like

oh god none of you have changed and this is all there's an outside world I remember because it was during fucking lockdown I think it was when Trump was it was the second when Trump was running for president

against Joe Biden like I was on my phone mid lockdown for like 14 hours a day watching the fucking the capital riots and all this stuff and just winding myself up and getting fucking so sad at the state of the world and i was like

the second this election's over i'm not mad because this is so bad for me and if there's people out there who can consume it healthily good for you but not for me or if you ever look at like something football an article football related yeah and then just go in the comments that's the fucking dregs that like. I can see why people from the outside of football hate football, if that's all they see. Yeah. I tell you one conspiracy theory that I'm sick of

because it pretends that it's not a conspiracy theory. It's so out there in the public that people are like, it's not a conspiracy, it's a real thing. Use by dates on food products. Like, it's a... Don't get me wrong, this isn't me being an idiot being like, food doesn't

go off. Food absolutely goes off, right? Of course it does. But not when they fucking say... Not even fucking close to when they say it's a sniff test. I live in a house. I've been blinded by cell bite dates all of my life, and just the last couple of years have I started to really relax around them.

There's squeeze tests. You can look at food the way we used to fucking do it. The reason they've got to have that strict thing is it's like the same thing where I feel it's the same. They just have to make you aware of the risk, and they have to go for the even the worst case scenario yeah so like the reason pregnant women shouldn't eat blue cheese patty or whatever or even though 99.9 percent of the time it wouldn't actually do anything to the baby while in there

but even a 0.01 risk to a baby is not worth it at all so it's a blanket rule for all pregnant women even though it probably affects less than one percent it's just that they've got to do this they're like hey it's got a point one percent chance of going off on this day and making you really sick and because we don't want to get fucking sued it's we've got such high stakes as well like it's precious it's a precious cargo that's at risk you'd be giving it to someone who's got asthma or who's got like going through health problems they're left handed

there's something genetically wrong with them where this thing could come in and exacerbate it and make it worse not me

it's a fucking fiddle baby I'm not Cara and Cullen like I the reason I cook right is because if they were to cook they'd go into the fridge and be like everything's out of date and I'm not Cara and Colin Like I The reason I cook Right Is because

If they were to cook They'd go into the fridge And be like Everything's out of date And I'm like Not if we're making stew It's not I'm gonna cook it for seven hours

And cover it in spices You let stuff go off Oh yeah yeah yeah Like forget the date Like even the sell by date Started to fucking rot off Alright You can't read it

Because it's biodegrading I think a lot of shops in the UK now are actually getting rid of used by dates. Oh no, fruit and veg, yeah they are. Which I think is great, which is the way it should be. So I've got this... She made me throw out a can of fucking beans and I'm like, have you not

watched any nuclear war movie? Like it's fine! Nowhere's getting in! That's how I go about it now right is if i go right this estate has been fucking looted by everybody right because the fucking zombie apocalypse has happened it's been looted you've discovered this estate everyone's fucking dead right and you go through and you open a cupboard and you find what's in front here how much have

you hit the jackpot or what's there yeah and all of a sudden that stuff that is out of date is like, I can feed the village. Yeah. Like with meat and stuff, like I get that it goes off and smell test is very important. I think that's why we have noses. You've got your eye test. You can also, you can feel something and be like,

oh, that's a bit gross. But man, you're not a fucking restaurant. Like, give yourself a better immune system. Eat something slightly fucking toxic. It's like booze. First time you drink booze, you get shit face. You can't handle booze. Alcoholics, though, man, all the time,

they have to drink loads. Do the same with gone off. Just introduce it to yourself slowly. And then maybe, maybe you'll survive a bit of, you know, the nuclear war. Do not fuck with chicken though. Everything was said, but apart from chicken. Nah. Fuck with chicken.

Nah. Fuck with it. Fuck with it. Fuck with chicken. Fuck with chicken. As long as it's not blue. You lick your fingers fucking with chicken. Fuck with chicken. Fuck with chicken. As long as it's not blue. You lick your fingers after cutting chicken. Yeah, man, I remember.

No, no, because they don't even have fucking salmonella anymore. That's something from like the 20 years ago that people are... I remember in Japan when Marlene asked for the chicken and it come out uncooked chicken. Yeah. I was like, they don't fuck with chicken leg. Jordan, our good friend Jordan, when he when he I mean he never lived with me but he practically

fucking did back when we were in our 20s Jordan's a remarkably good chef like he's like he's a real real chef

he's been doing it for years and he's worked his way and I've when he whatever cooks it's oh

he's an unbelievably good cook but he knows food better than anyone I fucking do. And we'd be at the house and we'd be making chili con carne. And just in front of me, he would just eat raw bits of the mince and just like, yum,

yum, yum. I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, nothing will happen. Nothing will happen. It's all this fucking,

and chicken. Yeah. He's like, it's like, it's all this fucking thing that people get into their head. Then you fuck with chicken, like. You can fuck with chicken

Fuck with chicken I know but like That's one of the things Where if it makes you sick It's gonna make you big sick Yeah It's not just gonna be like Oh I've got a dicky tummy

The first time The first time Build up That immune system Do you wanna Do you wanna be throwing chicken out Every single time It's on it's fucking use by day

Or Do you want an extra week The price of that Is eat some shitty chicken Every now and again And your body Every single time it's on its fucking use by day. Or do you want an extra week? The price of that is eat some shitty chicken every now and again. And your body, I don't know if this is how it works. I feel like it is. It sounds science-y. I've never had a lot of food.

No. I can't remember the last time I've had something like that. I'm not going to say. I did drink the water in India, though. That was a bad move. Yeah. And I didn't even mean to dare. I had ice cubes.

Oh. Aye. That would have got me. Of course, it's a hot country. Of course, you're kind of... I got done by ice cubes, mate. I remember the last time I got food poisoning. I can't remember the last time I got food poisoning. Oh, yes, I can in Australia, in Melbourne one year.

I got really, really horrific horrific like curled around uh the the toilet fucking you know when you've there's the bugs in you and you've got nothing in you you're just retching because like it's on the walls of your stomach and your stomach's like it's still in there it's on the walls and you're like I but it's got, I'm just drinking water to throw up 35 seconds later. Although I will say, if you've ever been that ill, there is occasionally like this sort of just peace because you're like, all I'm doing today is curling around this toilet.

That's only my existence. Does it matter? World War III started. Don't care. I'm busy. Don't care. Your busy don't care your mum has seven types of diseases that are going to

kill her in six months look at her look at her you see the state of me I'm glad one of us is doing well there's just this real

I was just like you know it's a you know you've parsed your body of everything I remember being young and we all

it was like Christmas time one year I think you Matthew must have been like I'm going to say four or five we all went to like it wasn't

Brewers Fair but it was like a Brewers Fair type thing and I was like I'm going to say it was the I don't know you can eat Brewers Fair

is that no but the sort of... Sunday dinner. Yes. The sort of place where you get Sunday dinner. Traditional English meals. Hunter's chicken. Yeah.

But there's also a big fucking play area for the kids to fuck off to. So we're at one of those. The reason Matthew doesn't get any of this illness is because he's fucking off to the play area the entire time. I assume Jack's there as well. Going off, me and my mum and my dad some Jacks there as well, going off.

Me and my mum and my dad. Jack was doing a shift in the kitchen. Me, my mum and my dad, we get the Christmas fucking dinner, and my mum remembers seeing that the turkey was pink, but we were like, absolutely fucking fine. And then for the week, building up to Christmas, I woke up that night, and I had one of those beds where it was like a bunk bed, but on the top half of a bunk bed underneath was just a table where i painted my cabin bed is that what it's called oh there you go you got your bits and

bobs and anything all right mine was yeah i would just sit there paint warhammer at a little mini fridge there oh you have vhs's i yeah i did have heaps of vhs's because that's how i watched watched comedy i remember waking up at like two in the morning and going man I feel pretty fucking and that's as far as my thought went before I projectile vomited, now projectile vomiting is bad anyway, but doing

it from a height of eight feet onto laminate flooring like fucking man slap to it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Come back up and get you in the eye. Man, if you had me, right,

with that type of sick on the back of a Mario Kart and you could do it, I would take out the 17 riders behind you and just, blah, blah, blah. It would be like a fucking horrific oil slick. So I spew. It splatters fucking everyone.

It gets up the wall. And my mum and dad come through. They're like, what the fuck's going on? See the spew everywhere. And then just, we Team America'd it. Just joined in. Oh, and for like four or five days. Stand by me, the Barforama.

Yeah, my mum and dad were so well that literally for like five days, Matthew and Jack Just had to fend For themselves Where they were like Right Here's how a can opener works

You need to get into The food this way And it's how you Pack your shit for school That's the thing If you're ill And you've got kids Like the fucking

There's no just Because if I'm ill Like I'll just go Well my life's on hold I'm going to just be here Playing PlayStation I'm going to milk this For a day or two

Longer than it is Because my recovery day Is important to me Right And I'll fucking just All bets are off Don't even contact us I'm sick

And I'll just be sick If you've got kids You're like Ah Well they're going to Starve to death But what's What's worse as well

Is it's not all I mean you're Definitely correct well it's not all that I mean you're definitely correct but it's man Ali best friend has put his

daughter into nursing because him and his wife work and they want to be able to work and so they send

her in and the one thing you hear from all other parents is all day care is is just getting a new disease every few weeks yeah

because man we go to we go to swimming which isn't that bad because it's in water and everything's chlorinated and you know the babies aren't

touching each other but we also go to like messy play which is great man Caelan loves the messy play and we love seeing it there but other people's kids

are grotty disgusting little some of these cunts don't wipe their kids nose right but I know I know a runny nose is something you've got to do

every two minutes but guess what motherfucker that's your job every two minutes if you took your kid out of the house and it's got a runny nose either that

two tampons shove him up there be a mum step up my nickname you know this don't you my nickname is Billy Two Rivers

or Big Chief Dripping Candle them up there. Be a mump. Step up. My nickname, you know this, don't you? My nickname was Billy Two Rivers. Or Big Chief Dripping Candle. Is that what your grandad used to call us? Aye. I don't know. Just for he knows. Because Stan's

doing me legs and that. Just want to come to that for you. Yeah, they're leaking. Not crying though I just couldn't keep

No no I'm not a pussy We couldn't I'm so worried about Because I've got I've got a decent immune system But Poor little Cara man Is she catching everything?

She's catching all the kids' diseases She's catching the diseases She's catching these hands STDs off all the dads She diseases. She's catching the diseases. She's catching these hands. STDs off all the dads. She's not even fucking them. Her immune system is just so poor. She just needs to... It's off my hands.

Every time I punch her, I give her an STD from fisting one of the dads. Look, I'm just saying, Katta has... Kat, right, here are the two people Who have the worst immune system

In Our household Cullen And Cara Here's me Who has a very very good Immune system In the years you and I

Have toured together Genuinely how time I can tell you where you were Cheltenham When you got ill Aye And that was drug related Aye

Was it Go on That was Aye That was my first time on fucking Methadrone Fucking I've been on Meow Meow

Aye that shit What was that about? What was that little face we went through? Yeah I mean Well we went through It was the first time I hung out with your Geordie mates Oh my friend Poppet No

You're The rest of your fucking Geordie mates Are all So Cara Cullen, weak immune system Me, great immune system What's the difference between us? I cook and eat out of date chicken

I've never believed You don't wipe the benches? I don't Do you not? Oh wait, at a public gym? No no, I'm at the kitchen You're cooking chicken at a public gym for? gonna be at the kitchen oh i thought you were just you're cooking you're cooking chicken in a public gym for you're at the bench yeah yeah that's i thought you were like for somebody

because that's also hygiene i'm like okay like weird weird spin-off like yeah i'm no no they're the surfaces when you've been cooking oh no Yeah Well You've got to clean it It comes in once a week She does it Right No I'm a good I like I clean up as I go When I cook I like a clean kitchen

But the deep clean's done by the way But you reckon That you get a Good immune system By not giving her As much of a fuck And from picking your nose And eating it and stuff

Well not that Wait how would that not help Well because that's your own That's your own I stopped doing that After this podcast You know That's

I'm like That's only cool If we started this podcast When we were 7 years old I was like On 100% to 0 In the wrong For like

Occasionally Eating the odd bogey If there's any way to put it I've stopped I've reformed I've reformed But you know Like if I'm just like

On public transport And I wipe my hand like that They just want to Back my hand God I'm noted I mean I think if I'm just taking public transport and I wipe my hand like that they just want to back my hand I'm not it's just I'm fucking man it's so

like you this man people people like you should have been fucking bullied and I like I'm glad

I'm waiting on the seat now better I used to be like a decent nose picker but I never ate it fuck that I've never always thought of doing the hedge No

You're in the company of fucking Who's that old fucking Horse racing cunt That was on Big Brother all those years ago John McCritick He would pick his nose And eat it on fucking camera on Big Brother Aye

Aye I try and do discreetly like I'll bring it up on podcast to on fucking camera on Big Brother. Aye. Aye. I try and do discreetly like you. I'll bring it up on podcast and I'll be like that. Aye, no. I picked my belly button and I need it.

In the arse. But at least there's food in that end. Like if you shove your finger up your arse and you keep it with a bit of sweet corn I'd be like right

well I can see why you made the connection there. But you're like oh you know that mucus is up there to stop germs getting into my body well it's getting

into my body bloop yeah yeah have you ever grimmed up what grim oh yeah

what do you do then spit all the time yes you've never once swallowed that no because I still

don't know what I'm going to do with this still just lingering there man don't be wrong I'm going to do with this. Still just lingering there. Man, don't get me wrong. Man, I love, I love a, like, when, man, when you've got a blocked nose and mucousy and you can get a real, because it, man, it's like, it's like throwing an oyster at someone. Like, it's a, like, you can get a big fucking slap.

It's like the jelly that goes. You roll your tongue and out and make a tube for it. Oh, yeah. And you can get some distance. Yeah, yeah. You can get some distance. Yeah, yeah. You can probably get a purchase on it, can't you? Yeah. Like, that's a gross thing that I enjoy, you know, doing.

But that said, I didn't do it. I've moved on. It's not like I always did it. I'm just saying I've been known to do my own tidying up. That's bound to boost your immune system that's bound to just make you a lot more

tolerable for fucking live cells yeah I mean probably but like I mean at what cost aye sex that's at what cost

sex with any other human being I'd rather just be sick aye mate do you not like swallow it around and spew once you've spewed up

now lad do you not just get that down you as well I've seen rugby lads do that spew once You've spewed it up now lad You know Just get that down you as well No I've seen rugby lads do that I've done Spew up into a pint glass

And then just down it again Immediately after When me and Tom Houghton Were in Amsterdam Doing Truff

Like mushroom truffles For the first time The one thing they tell you Is like It's going to make you feel sick But you don't want to Fucking throw up Because if you throw up

It's not going to have the time To react in your body so me and Tom we like fucking half a punnet of these mushrooms each and I start getting queasy

and I can feel it in my stomach and I'm like I'm going to I just need fresh air that's what you do big breaths in through your nose

yeah and just like a lot of the time especially with that stuff it's not just a physical thing. Sometimes it's a mental thing. Mental of a matter. Yeah.

So I start walking out the lobby. I'm like, don't run because if you run, you're going to convince your body that you're going to spew. And this is an emergency. So I just calmly walk out. I get into the lobby and my body goes, uh-uh. And I go, and like a fucking chipmunk, I managed to get it all in my cheeks. And I'm like, it's fine. The door is seven feet away. Your neck just spills out like a fucking chipmunk, I managed to get it all in my cheeks. And I'm like, it's fine. The door is seven feet away.

Your neck just spills out like a frog. Yeah. I walk about, it's in my mouth. I walk two feet. I go, people look and just swallow it. I swallow it. And my brain immediately, the opposite of a bro, just went, just FY FYI you swallowed your own sick there and I went

oh no oh man you're reloaded oh man yeah I doubled down I was like not a single shot

I need this to come from both fucking chambers and man I like I ran out that door and like I had to throw my that door and like I had to throw my head back and like launch it like throwing a javelin

just to try and get this distant so it wasn't an area of the fucking lobby the bouncer let me back in oh nice that was fucking Amsterdam Amsterdam man

it was like four in the afternoon and I remember like making eye contact with the bouncer as I'm like I'm like oh no my jacket's in there my phone's in there like and I still haven't got with the bouncer as I'm like my jacket's in there

my phone's in there I'm obviously banned from this play throw it into the fucking river perfect customer one that leaves the building to be sick

you know it must have been that this man's seen people's fucking screen and I think it's because I didn't try and get back in

I composed myself I was like oh god took a couple of breaths smoked a cigarette you know if you spew up in the venue they cigarette you know if you spew up

in the venue they chuck you out if you spew up out the venue they chuck you in hey you're ruining the streets of Amsterdam get in there

you'll never come back can I just stay in my hotel it's next door fuck I swear unless you tunnel underneath no

I had a doorman once in Newcastle this was when I was younger he was too drunk he had gone and had a cup of coffee and come back right and I actually went and had a dorm in once in Newcastle When I was younger Too drunk mate, can I have a cup of coffee and come back And I actually went and had a coffee And came back in And I went and had a coffee and was like Mate I wasn't going to let you in

Because you were too drunk but I've never seen anyone Actually do that Like normally people just move on But since I saw you actually having a coffee You got on in I always used to do my nut and win Cabaret Voltaire Like normally people just move on. But like since I saw you actually having a coffee, you got on in, you let us in. I always used to do my nut and win. Cabaret Voltaire in Edinburgh was the worst for it.

I got in trouble in fucking 2000 and... I'm going to say the 2009 French. I think it was during my second or third festival run. It was my second. Cabaret Voltaire used to... I don't know if that's still true anymore and I don't mind saying this on air. Cabaret Voltaire used to I don't know if that's still true anymore and I don't mind saying this on air

Cabaret Voltaire used to have bouncers that were exclusively fucking paedophiles right straight up nothing but paedophiles yeah

you'd get there at the age of fucking 19 years old right you'd have your fucking ID you're too old mate they'd be like have you been drinking tonight

and you're like yeah I'm in fucking grass market like what are you drinks in there are one and a half quid yes

yes I'm fucking drunk oh wait you can't get in there and then a visibly 14 year old girl like who's stuffed her fucking bras

put some fucking make up they'd be like yeah oh yeah and you go darling hugging squeezing the fucking arses and you go to they were exclusively fucking pedophiles i got in trouble uh because i said that on stage and uh one of the cavalry voltaire bouncers girlfriend was in the audience saw me doing that bit and she got offended afterward like she got she's like that's not

true my boyfriend works there and half of the audience went by the way it's 100% true what he said like those bouncers we've all fucking seen it one of them was like by the way I'm 18 years old

when I was she was there with her pigtails and my little pony backpack going my boyfriend works there and he takes me to school he's a lovely man

and she I think so she found because half the audience He takes me to school He's a lovely man And she I think So she found Because half the audience Was on my side Was like This isn't him being a dick This is actually

Genuinely fucking true She then went And broke up With her fucking boyfriend And so I got told By someone else By the way Just to let you know

You can't go back to Camp Vought Because he's still a bouncer there And if he sees you He's going to Because he's been dumped And he's going to Kick your fucking head in and then I think

like three months later he was jailed like yeah jailed and I'm sure Cabaret Voltaire is a lovely

lovely establishment I also I also had a a doorman let me in once because he told us I was too it was at the Fringe it was at C-Venues

so it must have been 2011 because I had my Rubik's Cube with us everywhere because I was in that show in A he said I was too drunk to get in and I was like alright and if I was drunk could I do this with us everywhere because I was in that show. And he said I was too drunk to get in. And I was like,

and if I was drunk, could I do this? And I just fucking, I was hammered. I was fucking hammered. But it's muscle memory. I fucking waxed the Rubik's Cube and I was like,

well, I guess I got you wrong. That's why you got to learn to juggle, man. You can't let a person who's, you can't let a person who's you can't let a person who's juggling not into your venue you know if I if I got turned away by a doorman new I didn't even think I'd be bothered new if a doorman was like

you can't come in I'd be like oh class you got us off the hook there like I was about to go out of my nightclub you literally saved my night cheers bud he has that fucking 10 hour old earphone

knocking us back but it's for me it's the it's the it used to annoy me because it's it's injustice most of the time

look look there are some people who definitely shouldn't be allowed into a club because they're far too fucking drunk and then there's other times

when they're just dicks and you're like you're drunk and you're like yes I'm fucking it's a fucking nightclub it's a shitty nightclub

in the fucking like the amount of time Hive people were like you're drunk and you're like this is the only place open till five like I was drinking

can I tell you how bad the atmosphere would be in fucking opium or whatever it's called if everyone was sober if it was just full of creeps just eyeing the dance floor

with a glass of water man if I wasn't if I wasn't drinking whiskey, I could fucking, I would smell this place and then I'd vomit on it and add to the fucking problem. Fucking tea total nightclubs. Bah. Oh.

Bah. Aye. Look, there's nothing wrong with being sober. I respect that decision I respect the fucking strength Go into bed by 1 Yeah Don't

You're not You can still be up at 4 Sober guy Oh you can go to Like if it's a sober night for everyone You motherfucking better be driving You better have 4 people having a good time dancing If you're the sober one

If you're a sober person In a fucking nightclub It's just a bit If you're the sober one. If you're a sober person in a fucking nightclub, it's just a bit. You'll never convince me you don't have ulterior motives. I don't trust you. You'll never convince me. I just,

I like, I like the atmosphere. Nobody likes the atmosphere. That's why they're drunk. I just like, I like dancing to Jason Derulo. Nobody likes it, that's why we're all fucking shit and fish.

No, man, I just like the ambience. Do you like the ambience? Or do you like a room full of people with lowered inhibitions where you are functioning at a higher brain capacity than them? You murderer. I'm trying to think, like, you know,

if I identified that I had a drug problem, a drink problem, and I realized it was affecting other people's lives and I quit. I love the sesh, but this isn't good for anybody. And then I ended up in a bifa for somebody's wedding or something like that. Would I still go and club? No! I'll tell you what the answer is right now.

Aye, I would. I'd fall off the wagon hard. I'd fall off the wagon so hard. Man, I would. It would be spectacular. If I went full fucking sober, if I was able to do it right, and it was Elliot's stank do,

10 years down the line, five years down the line, and Elliot's like, lads because our first holiday together was Ibiza I want to do it again Danny

I respect your decision please still come out to Ibiza with me I'd be like absolutely man and you'd all be like are you coming to the nightclub I'm like no

but I'll stay up with you all until 11pm and then quip lash no no and join you all and then when you're all about to go out

man I'll be in that kitchen like a mother of ten right just getting all your sandwiches ready cutting the things up putting a bottle of water in each of your

backpacks I've written your names on your backpack there's little tracking devices on them right

for each of you I'm just like nobody else has one of these but just you know if it's ever too much to take man I would drive

and pick you up and you know what I'd do the rest of the time i'd sleep and not be worried about the fucking hangover i wouldn't need to i i do like the idea of a sish curry i would be a sish curry i like the idea of a sish curry if you're a teetotaler just identify as a sish curry and just they they are the tidier up and that it's the life you chose and now you also want to have a good time you like structure you right that's your thing

it keeps you off the booze keep everybody hydrated fucking make sure like the place is nice it's the life you chose when your friends are having fucking

coked up sex you go in and you take that dick out and you make sure there's a condom on that and if there's not you put it put it on now

electrolytes get them full of electrolytes brush their teeth for them aye nobody when everyone's passed out whatever they are you don't have to move them

brush their hair brush their hair leave a bottle of water beside them that's what yeah plus their teeth for them well I shagging just get right in there

just groom them be like you know like when you see monkeys in the wild and all that and they're like just be like that at the orgy aye you're just in this wild and all that. Just be like that at the orgy.

You're just in this picker in an orgy. I don't know if I could do. I fantasise about the sober life sometimes. I can't quit shit. All right, that's why. This is where I'm at, right? I'm like, I've just done the fucking vapes then, right? I just handed a fucking half full one to Matthew because I was like, I decided on Sunday,

I was just breathing with this fucking vape. I was just using it as air, right? And I was like, it's in my house all day Monday and I'm not smoking it. It was in my jacket pocket. So when I put it on the day, I mean, the other day, and I'm like, even though I'm coming to yours and this isn't where I normally see he's vaping,

I'll just give it to Matthew. And like, I'm like, yours and this isn't where I normally see he's vaping I'll just give it to Matthew and like I'm like I've quit vaping I'm definitely having a cigarette in Vegas oh yeah I mean of course you are like there is no

like even if I like staunchly go I quit there's no fucking way man they sell menthols there of course we're smoking in Vegas like you know like of course

and you can smoke indoors You can smoke Menthol cigarettes Indoors While playing Of course we're fucking smoking We're just going to be there No no

Actually I don't want to It's not that I It's not that I I can't It's that I just don't want to I I So

You may accidentally quit Vapes I quit yesterday And was just like and it's this horrible thing that I feel the immense guilt about it which is

I being an idiot have got myself addicted to this fucking thing that when I try and get off it is going to make me short tempered

and bitchy near the person I love most in the world thankfully when Cale is there oh it's much easier, man. Like, every time you're grumpy

and he just smiles at you, you're like, oh, what am I talking about? Fucking Marlena phoned me today with the specific intention to wind me up for 15 minutes. You know, questions are the worst when you're cranky. Yeah.

If you're just, anybody's asking you questions, you just want to go, I don't want to be asked questions. Like, no matter what the questions are, you're just like anybody's asking you questions, you just want to go, I don't want to be asked questions. Like no matter what the questions are, you're just like, I actually like, life would be loads better

with any questions being asked. Does the, does the answer, was the choice of the answer, fuck off and leave me alone? Does that apply to the question you did? Can I put my fingers in your ears and go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Would that make the question go away? Yeah. Have you fucked off?

I can't hear you. I can't hear you. If I open my fucking eyes and you're still there, good. Good. A day over questions would be meant when you're coming off smoking. Do you think you'd find something else to find there? Man, it's so funny you've said that with the Patreon episode we're about to do. Cue me. Cue me.

It's so funny you've said that with the Patreon episode we're about to do. Q&A! So people are listening to this on the Monday after actually because we're doing them disjointed. That's a bonus episode. This is the regular one. So if you want to go and see us being cranky

just be like, oh, watch all the questions, man. Sign up to our Patreon. Watch that. We can't do that now, shall we? Oh, everyone that came to the show in Manchester that was I think for both of us generally one of the best

gigs we've had in the UK and the UK gigs are always good but that was particularly excellent so thank you very much very glad to hear that that episode was as funny as we thought it was that felt good sometimes when we're high

we get to the sometimes when we're high we do Amsterdam episodes but there is there's a golden level sweet spot isn't it in fact the last Q&A we hit that apparently

Natalie message saying oh great let's fucking try it again two in a row I kind of get high though.