Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Absolute Pollocks (Ft. Rob Rouse)

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

Seizing the opportunity of Rob Rouse gigging in Glasgow, Muggins get's him around for an extremely fun chat about the dawn of gaming, the daft names of Glasgow suburbs and childhood arson. An absolute treat for those of you who saw him absolutely smash it on his first visit to Altitude festival this year. Stay tuned for Part.2 of this podcast on Patreon where we dive into our phone notes to dig out untouched ideas for jokes to try get them operational. #36   Discount booze for all of our listeners... www.thistlycrosscider.co.uk Discount Code: THISTLYSLOSSJULY

Sloss and Humphries on the road! Muggins and cream, creaming muggins, straight thugging, living the dream That's our intro Fucking muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head that makes you laugh Woohoo! They said it can't be done! Are we in the same seats?

That's hack Ah, muggles! Accidental rim job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or might just be cynical Just muggled it up on fucking Mugglepedia Where have you been since 9-11? Rob Rose.

Hey. Thanks for joining me, mate. Well, thank you for welcoming me to your lovely home. My leafy suburb of Glasgow. And how old are you now? I'm 41. You're 41. I'm 50 now.

So I'm the elder statesman. You always are meant to say to a young man, you have a lovely home. That's what old people say. You have a lovely home. You pet the dog. You do have a lovely home. yeah that's what old people say you have a lovely home do you pet the dog you do have a pet the dog yeah i've met the attack dog yeah you got savaged as you came in there didn't you you've done really well you can tell you've got experience with dogs the way you held her off there yeah it was you're like mcdundee yeah well i felt she had that kind of vibe of like a kind of a police dog kind of a

a vibe of like a kind of a police dog kind of a guarder by nature um she came over and um she gently raised a paw as if to say i think that was a kind of that's as far as you go until um i've been well and truly frisked yeah frisked yeah she i had to frisk her which was interesting she put her hands up and i checked i pattedatted her down. It was a mutual frisking. She was very happy about that. They don't like it when you do that in airport security. Yeah,

they're different dogs. Have you noticed that? Yeah, yeah. You get an airport security when the customs officer pats you down and then you go, right,

your turn. Not that keen on it. Yeah. Such a double standard. I got one. I think the authority went to the head. My dear lady wife

took me to New York for my 50th birthday party. 50th birthday. It was me and her. We had a party out there. And I got one of the most intimate pat-downs I've had at either airport security or in the bedroom. They went right round the inside of the waistband of the underpants.

They fucking followed the seam all the way round. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full loop. Definitely, I think his little finger brushed a pew. The last thing you want is the airport security guy telling you he found a lump. You want to prostate off the motherfucker. I sometimes put a penny in my pocket so I can have that.

I get lonely on tour sometimes, you know. Why the penny wet, Kai? No, but genuinely, I mean, that one, I really thought I should have come away with a phone number at least at the end of that one. You just feel like humped and dumped. Yeah.

You just feel like a piece of meat, just used. Well, I think that's a lovely offer, isn't it? If you could make the offer back, I think that's a great idea of yours, that. Just, yeah. And how about, would you like me to, can I return the favour?

Can I go through your bag? Just put fries in the sandwiches now, lad. You don't want to put a bit of salad on that? Got that lunch and everything. But I'm quite happy with that because we've been touring a lot and we've been doing a lot of that. Like, you know, we talk about the Instagram filter that touring has. Everybody sees the good bits.

We've been doing a lot of airports. I've really, really enjoyed the serenity of gigging out of my house. Yeah. Every gig I've done in the last month and a half, I've been in my own bed. And it's beautiful when that happens, isn't it? Do you sleep all right in hotels? Or do you always stay up too late?

You know what? Even if you're not drinking, sometimes I stay up too late just because I get a bit too giddy because I'm not at home I sleep the worst When I've got an early alarm Yeah If it's one of their

You know how some of them Are bastard 4.30 alarms Or whatever Yeah 4.15 And your lobby calls Like pre 5am Yeah

You never get into bed Before midnight As a stand up comedian That's never happening It's brutal Them ones where I know I have to sleep Yeah

It's like you can't tell me What to do I'm not going to sleep You're saying I need to sleep now's like you can't tell me what to do I'm not going to sleep you're saying I need to sleep now otherwise I won't get any well look at this not sleeping lying here I think it's just the fear of not waking up so I'm shy to get into sleep

early but I can nap at any point during the day I learnt that when I had kids I learnt to nap because I would have I don't think physically your body could cope with with just the late nights and early mornings with kids unless you learn to nap and i could fall asleep literally anywhere now i'm brilliant at it like the i use them i think it's like a military breathing technique in for four hold for seven out for

eight are you one of these guys that does like you don't have a full night's sleep, you have like four pockets of 15 minutes throughout the day? Oh no, I'm not like Andy McNabb. You know, I really, I'd love to crash out for eight hours. But that's always interrupted by needing a wee, you know, regardless of even if I've tapered off my fluids at night like a child. I still need a piss at night. That's a big one for me now.

Yeah. Like, I'd barely make it through the night without having a piss. I'm getting to the point like I remember me grandad this is I remember me grandad going

do you want a drink before bed I'm not having one I'll be up I'll need pitling pitling just not to swear in front of his grandchildren beautiful

and I remember him saying that and just being like why would he be up I'll need pitling yeah I couldn't comprehend it yeah yeah yeah you go to sleep

you wake up that's job done it's maddening well do you remember in your, well, if I can remember back into my 20s and you used to go out and have a skin full and come back in

and literally, yeah, you could sleep till 12 the next day, wake up, piss like a racehorse, begin again. But now it's just different. You've just got to accept time. I'm starting to also get into it. Now that I'm back home

and I'm in my kind of rhythm of being at home, I'm starting to do that thing that teenagers do of staying up on the PlayStation like the early hours. You're still a game, you're an adult gamer. I got a 215 last night and called it. Right, yeah.

I called it a 215, but I didn't want to. Yeah. And then I lay in bed thinking about the game. Really? I mean, I might be, maybe I'm an outlier. I've never been into computer games. I remember when I was a kid.

But you were there from the start of them. Yeah, but I was there. You got to see the whole progression of everything. I remember a friend had a ZX81. The Spectrum? Spectrum. Sinclair Spectrum. It was 1K.

Rubber buttons. No, this was pre-rubber buttons. So the Spectrum had Spectrum. Sinclair Spectrum. It was 1K. Rubber buttons. No, this was pre-rubber buttons. So the Spectrum had the rubber buttons. These were made of wood. Yeah. What was it called? Was it a ZX81 or something? The Sinclair ZX Spectrum, I remember.

And that was the rubber buttons. Yeah, so that was the rubber buttons. And it had an outside cassette player. Yeah, yeah. And one of my dad's friends from work used to do pirate games all the way back then and he would give you like a big cassette

like I say big like the spool of tape on it was big they were all the same size and it would have little lines drawn on the label for what games

at which line that's where the games are and you'd get your pencil or you'd get your finger or whatever you used to do it and then put it in and then load the game

that was at that level of the tape that was probably the last point of um what's it called delayed gratification wasn't it for kids yeah that you had to wait for a game to load and it might not load it might take how and then and the big games that would take half an hour so long and you didn't know if it was going to load sometimes it didn't sometimes you got all the time and it was the but we never had a computer at home we were too poor

we never had a computer but you could afford a violin just pay me a little violin there just for anyone who's there

violins are so expensive how did you get one of those exactly Jesus it's a strand of berries

the fact you could play it tells me you had lessons it just sounds like it was more of a distribution of wealth than the actual lack of funds

no he's mad and I remember yeah now the ZX81 It just sounds like it was more of a distribution of wealth than the actual lack of funds. No, he's mad. And I remember, yeah, now the ZX81 before the Spectrum was like a smooth unit. It looked like a little black doorstop. So it didn't have the, you couldn't type the code in. And it was like press button keys, like what you might get on a really cheap remote control for some LED lights you get off Jeff Bezos

the lad with the Amazon van. I am. Yeah, Jeff. The guy that comes round and drops off all the deliveries. He's a brown guy. He's got a van round here, isn't he? That's Jeff, yeah. He'll pop the stuff in. But yeah, so I never, we never had a computer, so I used to go to other people's houses to play computer games

and used to have to wait because I didn't know when at home I was inevitably shit at them someone would play I'd watch my mate play and they'd get watching your friends play

was great for ages and then I'd have a go oh I'm dead oh I'm dead oh I'm dead again oh it's your go again and then

and then they've got lots of experience because they live with a console you should get two goes for that every one minimum well you'd think so there should have been

some form of rules in place but so my experience experience computer games i think i just i just know i got jostled out of them because i never never got the time yeah because that that was uh i i was in short like shortly after you with the zx spectrum and it was like you say the loading screen was like it was the early modem sound sound. Before the modem adopted that sound, that was borrowed. That was a sample. It was, wasn't it? A sample off the tapes.

You know, like when you hear like a rap song and they've sampled a track from the 80s or something like that. That was the modem was sampling the spectrum with its sound. And then you play them games. And then for me, it was the Amiga 500. Do you remember that one? Was that a Commodore? A Commodore Commodore big

again with a keyboard so like my early gaming was actually keyboard and mouse some of them had like a built in tape player

didn't they onto the keyboard and then a sandwich toaster and a small kettle port on the side as well the early ones

yeah it was just all canes coming out and a little hold if you're soldering iron. All those kind of things. I know, I mean, that's... They're all attached.

That's not even a joke, because something would happen with your computer and your dad would get in there with a soldering iron. With a soldering iron, yeah. What my dad did on... So it was pretty basic machinery that you had for the joystick. So you had a joystick that plugged in as well as the mouse. And it was just left right up down

one button there's a button you've said for left handed and right handed but they both do the exact same thing but that's

if you press the wrong one and you press them both together the toast pops up yeah you've got your whole everything's there you're like a one stop shop

grill yeah he dismantled the joystick and he took out what was the up down left and right and obviously if you press two of them you get and he took out what was the up, down, left and right. And obviously if you press two of them, you get diagonal.

He took them out and he took the button thing out. And out of wood and like nuts and bolts, he made a steering wheel. Wow. So that left, right and then the pedals up and down. And he actually had these like wooden steering wheel and things that he just made were fucking in the back garden. It just had a free steering wheel with

Amiga before computers had ever even started putting steering wheels out for games. Me and my brother had a steering wheel for our computer

so that we could play the form. Out of wood. Out of wood. So we could play Formula One. A round of applause for your dad.

Isn't that a G move? Absolute man after the old heart. What a legend. He Absolute man after the old heart. Yeah. What a legend. He basically, he predicted the future of gaming,

but he made it out of wood. He made it out of wood. Like Christ. I couldn't beat Nigel Mantle without getting a splinter. That's amazing. Oh, man. Well, you see, that would have been perfect for me, a wooden computer game. That would have got me in. That would have been my gateway. Yeah, that's a bit of see, that would have been perfect for me, a wooden computer game.

That would have got me in. That would have been my gateway. Yeah, that's a bit of you, that. Yeah. So as a result, I've never really hit gaming. I've never been into gaming, so it's always bounced me out. So I was more like whittling, that kind of stuff. Oh, you used to whittle spoons and that?

Yeah, whittling. Did you have... Just sticks. Did you have a shillelagh? No, we never had a shillelagh, just pen knives. Uh-huh. Pen knives. What's a shillelagh? No, we never had a shillelagh. Just pen knives. What's a shillelagh?

Is that like a specialist whittling tool? Well, what I remember, what my granddad would call a shillelagh is a branch of wood that he took off his cherry tree and then he'd shave all the bark off it and sand it down and then give it a varnish and put a copper stopper on the bottom and just take it with a thick top, like a wizard's thing. Like a stick. Wizard's staff I think a shillelagh

is actually a weapon from like olden days like pre-medieval I think just because I've seen them on games before and he just used it

as a walking cane but it was like it was just like a posh looking walking cane that he just knocked up himself out the garden

wow we were just whittling just little sticks with bad knives if you would like to support us and the podcast and treat yourself at the same time, we are still sponsored by Thistley Cross

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Help us to help you but mainly to help us Were you into pen knives? Because you were on your Sega Mega Drive probably by then. You know what I... Did you used to have fires?

We used to burn stuff. We were real arsonists. Yeah, we used to burn stuff. Yeah. I've got a confession to make, actually. I think I burned down a bakery when I was younger. Did you?

I think so. Okay, let's unbox that. I think... I don't think I should be owning up to this. Okay. But... Let's imagine you didn't because it would have caught up to this. Okay. But... Let's imagine you didn't,

because it would have caught up with you by now. Yeah. But just on the off chance that you might have accidentally burned down a bakery... Uh-huh. We set a fire and it was like this over... So it was just a play fire, standard kind of fire the kids used to have back in the day.

You're whittling. So I'm whittling away, right? We used to get bricks and build like a chimney, but with air holes in it. We used to call it a furnace, because it would draw the air through it. So you'd actually like harness the fire? Oh, yeah, yeah.

To really power it. And then I remember once we found some old cupboard doors and we lent them TP style over the furnace. And by thunder that went up and took out an entire gorse hedgerow. Did it do any collateral damage? Fortunately not. It was a field on the other side, so it just torched that. But yeah, there were different times.

Because it was like, sometimes the fire would just get out of hand and you'd leave it. Yeah. And that's what happened with us. We set a fire in the overrun garden of a bakery because they weren't using the garden. It was just overrun. And we went and set a fire and then it got a of a bakery because they weren't using the garden it was just overrun and we went and set a fire

and then it got a little bit out of hand and we left it and then like about a week later we went down and it was like balling up and we were like

well I mean just in terms of mitigation could have been two temperate fires yeah could have been couldn't it could have been it could have been the owner

could have been an insurance job to you know and that what was that 30 years ago what um on a legal standpoint what do you think would happen if like a nine-year-old child who set a fire if like uh what what if like just for the sake of uh discussion yeah what if like somebody died in that fire i don't think they would i think it would have been a big inquisition and we would have heard about it it would have been yeah it would have been it would have been

well it would have just been one of them things and we would have heard about it. It would have been. Yeah. It would have been on the local news. Well, it would have just been one of them things in Blythe that was just folklore. Yeah. You know, and I would have been running from this my entire life. But supposing that had happened from a nine-year-old setting a fire. Yeah. Right. And then I went up to it as a 41-year-old.

Yeah. Do you reckon I'm banked the rights? Do you reckon there'd be repercussions for that? Oh, gee, that's a really good question. I don't know. I think... You know, if you carry a crime for like 30-odd years, do you reckon there'll just be like,

oh, that was a completely different person back then? Well, yeah, if you carried a crime that you commit when you were nine by accident, by misadventure... Yeah. I mean, it's whether they're going to come after you or after the people that were meant to be in local practice Oh do I

me mum and dad yous are fucked yous are fucked you might have had a nice little steering wheel there but yous what were you you should have been

watching me what were you doing making a steering wheel at sunset and fires in the bakery mad bastard Yeah they took your eye off the ball there dad

I did love that what would probably be considered neglect in today's day and age the just the coming when the streetlights come on that was the style of parenting like we've got shit to do go and entertain yourselves

watch the roads don't burn down the bakery don't take your eyes off your little brother you know what he's like when he's got a lighter just blaming my brother as well. No, it wasn't. I'd call it a period of benign neglect. Benign neglect.

And that was kind of, that was what my understanding of childhood was. But with that was a lot of freedom. I remember, yeah, you just go out on your bike in the morning. Everywhere on my bikes. Lunch. I mean, that was a movable feast

and you might pop in for some lunch fries to go yeah you might take them out yeah when they had to make way for fries that were in the like the cross-hatched packaging oh yeah so they were like really formalized disciplined like and like they're doing military drill yeah these fries and then you pop them in then you can just pick them out one by one again you had your computers. I didn't have that. We didn't have a microwave. I didn't...

Ten years, man. What a difference ten years makes. We didn't get a video recorder till... I remember it was the Tyson fight when he got beaten by Buster Douglas to put a timestamp on it. And I worked it out and I was 15, 16. Can you remember when it felt like cutting edge technology?

Like you could set the video to record by putting the code in from the TV teams? Again, I mean, that feels like, that feels like that's science fiction. What you're telling me there. I don't, I don't, I don't think we had a, and what was it? We probably had like a, it must've had, what a difference 10 years, mate. It must've had like a, a brand name, like something code. Yeah.

The something code. whatever something put in put in the something pin or code yeah it'd be like the um qr code of its day scan this because that that was the moment when i felt um my granddad started to slip from technology because that's when he'd get the kids to do it because he didn't know how to do it yeah and i remember that is the is the switching point where the younger generation started overtaking the older generation with the upkeep of technology. For me, now that's Discord. Are you aware of Discord?

No, I'm still wrestling with the fact that we had our arrangements for this podcast on WhatsApp. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I got my head around it at the altitude festival i realized the power of the whatsapp yeah because up till now i've resisted i've pushed tried to hold back the tide when i'd text someone or ring someone and then they send me a message on whatsapp and i think would you because i don't want any more alerts in my life

any cross-platform yeah you know why i just accepted you for me you're one of the younger generation so i'm gonna i'll happily whatsapp you guy you know why we use whatsapp why is that because in america everyone's just decided oh iphones work they all work they cooperate with each other yeah let's all have iphones but there's just like a section of society that are just like like like daniel sloss is one of them me wife's one of them like like they resist iphones because they think that i don't know i think that i think they think they're better by having this like semi-computer android that you don't need a jailbreak to get apps on or you can like put anything on it like i think for a smart you know if you're an absolute tech nerd yeah that's probably going to be for you right but the people I'm talking about, Natalie and Daniel,

aren't the tech nerds that they think they might be to get one of these devices? They just don't want the man watching them. I don't know what it is. It's just like they're too cool for the brand or something. They're just like all these muggles just buying into this. Yeah, whatever reason it is, right? We've got a cross-section of society shun the iphone and our android users and now if you send a group to chat

there's somebody on iphone the outlier that's on a fucking samsung it'll just like splinter it into several different text messages right so you know if i text you and um and just a couple of other people that are iphones it would come up a. Right. It comes up green if one of those people is Samsung. Sometimes when I try and text people, it goes green. What's that about? That means they don't have an iPhone. Right, okay. And they're the reason that...

But they still get the message? They get it as like an SMS rather than just an iMessage, like an internet-send message. Right, gotcha. Okay. It might cost you 10 pence on your fucking text. Well, see, this is where I always fall down because I always find generally group texts are paying the arse

because there's too much, too much, oh, I don't want salt on mine or I want skinny fries or whatever it is. It just feels like too much. You're trying to organise a stag doodle. Too much fucking faffing. Exactly, yeah. Who cares?

We'll work it out when we get there. Just yes or no, will you be there? Send me the information. Exactly, I'll be there. I don't need your mad friend from back home sending beheading videos in the middle of a discussion about pitbull. Exactly, and similarly,

when the kids started playing football, I just ran away from WhatsApp because it's so-and-so's lost his socks. And I think, why the fuck do I know that little Johnny's mum can't find his socks and it's got it's got has no bearing on my life i don't want to know about it's just more information i couldn't give a shit about so i assume that's what whatsapp was you must have so much more time in your life back than what i do because i can't pick up my phone for like i'll

pick up my phone and google something yeah and then catch up with like 800 messages of correspondence yeah and then do the thing i want to do and it's so much more popular human being than i am or I'll pick up my phone and Google something. Yeah. And then catch up with like 800 messages of correspondence. Yeah. And then do the thing I want to do. And it's so much clutter everywhere. You're a more popular human being than I am. Or you're just like, basically what the WhatsApp messages are, right, is everybody's in the pub having a conversation, right? And you walk into the pub late and go, all right, from the beginning, tell me what everybody

said up until now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then everybody just fucking tells you everything and then you try and jump in on the conversation. Or you could just fucking come in, not catch up on any of it, and do it that way.

And then you've missed a bunch of context for the stuff they're talking about because they're not going to fill you in on it like a wonderpub. But you eventually work it out. I think it's a bit like joining in a game of football. It doesn't matter what happened before. You can find out what the score is. Yeah. And then you sort of,

or it's like starting to dance, isn't it? Yeah. You just sort of just start dancing near the edge. And then before you know it, you're dancing with everyone. Big licks. It doesn't matter. That's the thing.

I don't care. If I wasn't there, it doesn't matter. That's what I'm sort of, that's where my head sort of sits. But I always thought it was people saying, because it's all free. But then who's paying, getting a data program where I've got a gift card thing,

it's like 12 quid a month and I never run out of texts. So I don't understand that argument either. I don't know. I sometimes get a bit confused by people's constant search for Wi-Fi as well because I don't know i don't think my contract's anything special apart from like i've got some overseas thing on it where i can go overseas with me data but when you're back home do you not just get data in most places

yeah i do yeah everywhere it's pretty good coverage now so when people are like oh there's no wi-fi i'm like wait a minute are you off the fucking grid if you step out your house yeah it's mad i'm just like although i dropped a bollock in new york when um i bought like 30 quids worth of whatever it was back with something on the thing and i turned my phone on to look at a map and then it just it just vanished oh it's gone like a plug hole so i don't know what that was but then i just realized then we had a paper map for manhattan so we just walked around with a map and it was great. It was fantastic. It's just nice. It's nice to be away from your phone. Talking of amazing things though, the stations,

I mean, I don't want to give away where you live. Do you ever mention which bit you live in? I think I doxed myself on the last podcast actually. So I mentioned which district I lived in. I will veer away from this. No, I don't mind. Some of the surrounding station names are superb on the trip out from Glasgow. Let's do it.

So you've just done Glasgow Central to Clarkston. Yeah. And in between, you've got... In between, Cross My Loof. Cross My Loof, yeah. Cross My Loof. What an incredible place name. Do you know anything about where that comes from?

I know that. I don't know where it comes from. I just know there's an amazing, if I've got this right, there's an amazing breakfast brunch cafe called Bramble and you've got to try the chicken waffles. Right. Amazing.

So that's all I know about Cross Me Loof. I mean, what a great opener that is. The first station on a line. Cross My Loof. All one word. Absolutely. Like knocking it out the park there good start

sensational and then next one Pollock Shores West which means there's a Pollock Shores East that's the theatre district

you didn't want to go out in the east I don't know is Pollock Shores West I don't know much about Pollock Shores I mean obviously that will make sense

Pollock being what is a Pollock a pelagic fish okay yeah Pollock's a fish a lot of fish fingers you buy if they haven't got a had one makes sense. Pollock being a pelagic fish. Okay, yeah, so pollock's a fish, yes. A lot of fish fingers you buy, if they haven't got a haddock, they'll be pollock. And they're seen as a poor man's haddock, but a beautiful fish.

Is that like a Banga version of, like what Banga's aren't, a sausage as well? Yeah, I think so. But yeah, they're lovely pollock. Beautiful fish. They're silver with a gorgeous copper belly and stripe down the side. A good one off the coast of Wales.

Off the coast of Pollock Shores, off the shores. But, yeah, so obviously it's rife of Pollock out there. So that must be on the shore of the Clyde, right? Because we're not on the coast. It's got to be on the shore of the river. Pollock swimming up the Clyde, maybe. And I'll jump around a bit so as to not give away your exact location. Hair, well well this one because

there was a blip on the thing it looked like hair my arse hair my arse hair my arse incredible hair of my arse hair of my hair my is is that like it's like hair of the dog but if you've been rimming just have a little rim in the morning and it puts you put that was great gif knock gif knock gif knock uh-huh i mean it sounds like a made-up word, doesn't it, in Harry Potter? Do you know when... You got me right in the Gifnock. It's one of the houses,

one of the houses that you go in and sort and hat. The house of Gifnock. It's in Gifnock. Harry, you must... We listened to the audiobook of Harry Potter. Oh, Stephen Fry. Yeah, and on the way down holiday, my kids got really annoyed with me

because I couldn't stop when Stephen, every time his voice came and go, and he said, Harry Potter, and I'd always chime in, and the buttocks of thunder. Because I always think Stephen Fry always says buttock a lot. Yeah.

And it's always very funny. I remember a great joke, it was on Fry and Laurie when he said, I stooped over to pick a buttock up. Why there was a buttock on the floor I'll never know he loves saying there were buttocks

I gigged with Stephen Fry you know did you it was a charity gig from Griff Rhys Jones does it every year in Ipswich

and Stephen Fry come in and done all of that information is wonderfully random isn't it you Stephen Fry Griff Rhys Jones

were Ipswich Ipswich Tyv Anderson Eddie Izzard it was probably one of the greatest lineups I've ever been on random isn't it you Stephen Fry Griffith Jones were Ipswich Ipswich yeah Clive Anderson Eddie Izzard it was probably one of the greatest lineups I've ever been on it was

sensational Johnny Vegas yeah I got smashed with Johnny Vegas that night I rolled him up in a rug I'm going to sleep now

and I one of his one of his hard night that was but yes Stephen Fry come on and done a little bit of spoken word like he wasn't there doing stand-up but he did find the punchlines because that's who he is what a bizarre night that was. But yes, Stephen Fry come on and done a little bit of spoken word. Like he wasn't there doing stand-up,

but he did find the punchlines because that's who he is. And then, if I remember right, auctioned off some of Rod Stewart's shoes. I mean, of course, that's just what happens in Ipswich, isn't it? It's just one of them mad days in Ipswich. What a thing. I did

warm ups for the first series of QI back in the day and when Stephen Fry used to host it and obviously

he was like a hero like growing up like Frying Laurie Blackadder General Melchett it was just iconic

just huge kind of roles that he played and he was really really nice and kind and you know just iconic, just huge kind of roles that he played. And he was really, really nice and kind. And he's exactly as you imagine he's going to be, isn't he? And I remember there was one, I remember the third or fourth week doing the warm-up thing,

I remember walking down the corridor. And it's quite like the old TV centre felt a bit like being at school, school corridors and shit. and from the back of the corridor i heard yeah he did a full melt shit beer house yeah and i oh i literally slipped over with laughter i couldn't believe it it was unbelievable it just made all of my christmases is it funny how you can get giddy around them well it's brilliant isn't it i think it's a lovely thing when i did um upstart crow and and i was working with obviously david mitchell who was brilliant to work with um and also i'm working with harry enfield again like just it's those

but people like him formative people comedic influences in your life of my generation that just felt like oh something's happening here yeah you know obviously loads of money and and stav ross on original on the friday live and then and then harry enfield's television program and i still think harry and paul yeah whenever they do something it's phenomenal it's it's just just different they work on another kind of isn't it great this industry that you can you can watch something as a as a kid and then grow up and do stand-up and then just be gigging with them as well it's insane like yeah i bought jasper carrot on and in birmingham and it was just love watching jasper carrot what was it like it was every single channel i'm sure yeah he had four channels and he just seemed to be on all of them and he would just sit on a stool

and that was the best bit and he just talked it was that was proper like TV it was he did just

his stand up I feel like in that moment in time you couldn't be more famous than what he was then because we didn't have all these different like sensory inputs

like the internet and all the cable channels and Sky and all that you just had terrestrial television and he was omnipotent on it

and in that pocket of time in like the I'd say late 80s early 90s he was just always there and then I was on stage at Birmingham

welcoming him onto the stage I just fucking couldn't believe it was that recently? nah I'm gonna say about six years ago how was he?

was he alright? yeah he was he did some old jokes you know which sometimes when an old guy does old, I'm going to say about six years ago. How was he? Was he all right? Yeah, he was doing some old jokes, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which sometimes when an old guy does old jokes, I'm like, he might have, that might be one of his. But he came up through the folk circuit, didn't he? Yeah. Yeah.

So it would have been like checking your book to see which one you had so that you didn't do it. Maybe, yeah. Maybe. But yeah, he was like, he came up through the folk scene like Billy Connolly did, didn't he? Amazing. Yeah.

And yeah, I remember walking in for rehearsal one day and Harry Enfield was sat in his character on this chamber pot in the scene that they were doing. And as I walked in, he clocked me and he went, and he went, how was your weekend, mate? Did you have a good night out or did you have a quiet night in? It just did his Dave nice

out of nowhere he just did it in character oh fuck me it was just it's funny isn't it how things like that especially as a comedian

that's why you ended up doing it yeah it hardwires you to write back to your childhood this may make you feel a bit old

I watched you with my parents before I met you oh my god do you know about that have I told you about this no old. I watched you with my parents before I met you. Oh, my God. Do you know about that? Have I told you about this? No, go on. My mum, I'd started doing open mics, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And my mum was just excited. I went round and she was just dead excited. She was just like, I've recorded this comedian. You're going to love him and she put him on the planet. And it was you doing an impression of your dog sucking itself off in front of the in-laws. Oh, wow. From Live at the Comedy Store. Live at the Comedy Store. Oh, wow. was you doing an impression of your dog sucking itself off in front of the in-laws oh wow and it must have been live at the comedy store oh wow and my mom was in fucking tears and she'd already

watched it again and i was i was in fucking bits like it was just one of them amazing moments where like i'm just like hungry for comedy and i'm just like yeah getting into the thing and she was just excited to show me this this guy that'd discovered. And it was your footage. And I think I did a gig with you for Rob Riley in Lancaster or something like that. And I was texting my mum just going, I'm gigging with that guy. I'm gigging with Rob. Well, how lovely. Isn't that nice?

A lovely story. And can you send all of my love to your mum? I absolutely should. Because you did Punch Drunk. Yeah. And she was pure starstruck when you did Punch Drunk. Yeah. And she was pure starstruck when you did Punch Drunk as well. Like I think she was selling pork sandwiches

at the back of the room. It was great. Those gigs were fantastic. I don't know if she approached you or spoke to you or anything like that, but she was like absolutely starstruck. I think I might have chatted to her. Yeah.

I remember those gigs were great fun. So much fun. Are they still going? You still doing them? You know what? Casualty of lockdown, in that we had, so we had a good head of steam, as you well know from like the boxing and the running gigs that was ever expanding um we kind of ventured

into weekends because a lot of uh a lot of people were like oh i'd love to go but it's midweek and the midweek was for usp because we could get top comedians without stepping on the weekend well that's what i do with my little village gigs now yeah she's got on the same model i like to do them tuesday wednesday thursdays so you can book really good people let them do a bit more have a great time paying properly yeah and everyone can go home weekend money midweek and the tags are over weekend and it just like it just covers a bit more of your expenses for the week as a job and comic and then yeah and then the weekend is more lucrative because it's cleared funds and that.

So the weekend, it was a bit tough at the book. And then all the people that said that they were going to come because like, oh, if it was on a weekend, I'd come. They didn't show up. And the people that were coming midweek, the other ones that came. So what we did is we were just like, right, let's just get it.

Like, it wasn't broke. Why didn't we try and fix it? Let's get it back to the midweek gigs and we booked it right up until like 2021 and we had like the full of 2020 booked in and uh and then lockdown hit and that was me that was gaffer for my brother's bread and butter yeah like obviously i like i was doing stand-up and that was side hustle for me but that was his main hustle and he started a job as an electrician and then had a baby and then his wife was pregnant by the time lockdown fully lifted

and you could do full gigs so the second one's on the way and he couldn't leave his electrician job to focus on this and when he finished work he's got his two kids a toddler and an infant and like asking him to run a run of gigs on top of that. Yeah.

It's just too much. It's crazy. It's just far too much. I mean, someone's going to get a plug wired up the wrong way around. Yeah. So, so we've had the occasional gig.

Yeah. The last one we did was the Christmas run. Yeah. And we've just done the occasional gig just because there's a thirst for it. And we know if we put on a gig, people are going to come. Yeah. Keeps it at a premium as well,

doesn't it? It does. But I would love to get back to where we were it's just like we're man on the ground stretched yeah and i don't even live in that town so yeah it's not right but what was what was really amazing coming from the outside was that everything that you and gav achieved with that and then raising all the money you raised that changed that young boy's course of his life. Just as a thing to have done as a human being in your sphere, I always think of it just as with immense fondness and pride of what you guys did.

I think it's yeah it's something it's something i remain myself over on a regular basis it's just one of them like little little check-ins you know if you're just starting to feel a bit dune or whatever for whatever reason i tend not to i'm pretty generally positive person but like if i do get them little moments like i'll just cast my mind on that and go and like it's a good like little pick me up from i think there's a lot of truth in that isn't there because probably the and it's funny i want this if an element of this podcast is about being out on the road and often when you're on the road you're on your own aren't you yeah which is is fucking weird isn't it sometimes it's brilliant sometimes go and watch a film on your own fantastic

but most downtime on your own unless i've got a book I'm really into or I need to get something done, I'm not good at it. And I think the older I get, the more I realise we thrive off being with people or achieving something with people, connecting with people. And that's probably why that's such a positive thing and will remain a positive touchstone for you

because you did something that involved loads and loads of other people. And you were, it was a huge...'s just a galvanized community absolutely it was amazing this young lad and if anybody's late to the party on the story of there on my website or on youtube you can just watch the entire story for free i made a special about it so you can you can catch up on that um but it was the galvanizing of like the communities of blithe and surrounding areas but not just at the comedy industry kind of galvanized yeah and it was all around this kid that only a couple of people had met like nobody had met i hadn't met the kid did you know that so yeah at the end when i recorded the special because i asked like once he got the all clear from his uh neuroblastoma um i asked his his mam if I could write about

the story and I could tell the story on stage and she was like I'd be honoured, I'd love it if you did that so I made the whole story so he was an element of it at the end but it was like about me and my brother and brotherhood and how we ended up coming together to help Cain and it ends with the boxing

now spoiler alert if you haven't watched the special just skip past the next minute or so they brought Cain on stage at the end and I'd never met him until that point oh my god

so I was bringing I was doing like a thank you to everybody that was involved because there was people that boxed in the room

like Barry Castanola and I was doing like a big stand up and then like because the majority of the story was about me growing up with my brother

and coming to this I welcomed my brother on the stage to about me growing up with my brother and coming to this, I welcomed my brother onto stage to give him a big cheer and him and one of my best friends, David, to come on carrying this like present that was recorded around Christmas time, this big parcel. And I took the lid off the parcel

and Cian's in there. Oh my God. And man, I burst out crying. I bet you did. I was bubbling my eyes out. Oh, well, it's my afternoon, so I don't know why I stopped packing my own table and cried like a baby.

I would cry. I'm sorry for spoiling the ending for you. No, mate, no, it's good to know that's happening. But a lot of people in the room didn't realise that I hadn't met them. Oh, wow. And I just said it to the mate at the end. I was like, this is the first time we've met. Wow.

Because, like, I don't live in the area and like this was all happening and people knew about it and it was it was uh mutual friends of ours that were just that scene would be doing charity work already like helping local charities and filling the food banks and using the community gathering of these gigs to do that and it was just a cry from help from one of our close friends just saying look a friend of mine they're the kids ill i don't know what to do and then gav bounced on that i was actually gigging out in meribel at the time you know richard let's get taking the paste yeah and we brought our phone as he was just saying kai we're gonna do something fucking wild here we're gonna try and raise half a million amazing i was saying i just on the phone it gives me bro it's full of wild ideas man it's great full of wild ideas i remember that whole

that whole but the fact he pulled that one off, I was like, oh, my fucking God. It's outstanding what you guys did. I just think just to have done that in your life is a beautiful thing. I was so cynical when he said it. Yeah. And he was like, we just need to be able to say we've tried. Yeah. And I was like, let's try then.

Let's give it a go. So where do you think that comes from in your brother then, that thing? Because anyone who's dealt with tough times or hardship or mental depression or whatever, it seems like he... He deals a lot in visualisation. Right. He uses visualisation,

it's hard to say, I know Geordie accent that. Pretty well, yeah. He uses it as a tool where he he pictures he imagines the end product yeah and then just tries to manifest the journey there and obviously the manifestation the journey there is always involves like a lot of hard work and moving parts but like yeah you figure that out as you go but that that's it isn't it yeah a key to sort of like being remaining or um constructively positive is is yeah is to enjoy.

The obstacle is the way, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, the same happened with Natalie and the dog park. I was just telling you, a lot of these guys already know that. They're dug and born. My wife runs a soft play in Glasgow for dogs. It sounds like I've mentioned this before, but I'll say it to you. It sounds like my life is made up when I tell people that I'm a stand-up comedian

and my wife runs a soft play for dogs yeah I said they're like alright okay okay do you still live with your mum like

it's all anyway so she was just like wouldn't it be nice to have this indoor place that dogs can play without having to endure

the elements of Scotland and the bracing winters that we'll have up on the west coast of Scotland and we're just like what's in the way and like well it might smell how we're going to deal with that and just like how do they deal with the smell interesting big extractor fans uh so everybody has to just immediately look after their dog like you would if you are outdoors yeah but we've got these bins where it vacuum seals the poo bag of like a shrink wrap and then drops it in.

Do they do ones for domestic premises as well? That's what it's for. That's actually for nappies. Oh, really? Perfect. So that's what it's for. But she's repurposed it for being about poo bags. Absolutely brilliant.

And then disinfects the place every single evening after the last dog leaves disinfect the whole thing and it's been open a year and a half and it smells nice smells of coffee yeah yeah yeah

it's got the coffee machine the over rain smell but yeah so it was just dogs dogs love coffee it's not until you give dogs coffee

that you realise how much they love it some places serve puppuccinos and I don't know if there's any caffeine in them. I don't think so. I mean, obviously, disclaimer, do not give your dog coffee. I don't think you should be caffeinating your dog.

They're already quite energetic. I mean, there's loads of things in there that you're not meant to give dogs, in there, like kind of raisins, chocolate. Oh, yeah. Our old dog, Ron, that I can't talk about now, we've got two dogs, well, I've got one dog now. We've got Billy the Whippet, who's the softest, butteriest animal i've ever met lovely he's so so pathetically what uh loving it's incredible he gets into bed at night and and gets under the covers and you

wake up and his head is under your head and he's smooth yeah and then you you're just stroking sort of the crown of his chest and it really feels like you shouldn't be stroking it because it's a bald area and it feels like a cross between side boob and bald skin it's amazing

and it feels like no one should be touching it but you can't stop just a little bit of fuzz on it yeah it's incredible it's incredible but Ron our old dog Ron

who we got from Batsy Dog Zone before we had kids he it was two years ago we lost him well eventually he had to

go to sleep basically he was 15 and a half is this the dog that sucked himself off in front of my mother in front of your mother yeah and dislodged Christ

off the wall such was the vigour so that's the 15 years is a long time for a dog right yeah I mean Ron was

maybe that's the secret to long life maybe he should all be sucking on cocks he was a and also he was a dog, right? Yeah, Ron was like... Maybe that's the secret to long life. Maybe it should all be... Well, he was a real... And also he was a real crossbreed as well, Ron. Yeah. And I think with dogs that are kind of multiple, you know, Ron was an ultimate mongrel.

He was kind of bulletproof. But you also couldn't take it to the fence. You try it, you shouldn't. Yeah, you have to. Many times. But we were at the back of the shed. Ding, ding, ding. Sparks flying.

It's mad. Caught a ricochet. I'm all right. I'm all right. Fuck it. I'll just shake it off. I'll be all right. And he was hard as nails, but really lovely.

It was great dog run. But he apparently, seemingly, all the things that dogs weren't meant to eat, like raisins. He wants 18 suet mince pies that he stole off the side. He only managed to eat 17, and he took one under his bed before he fell asleep. He was too full. He kept one for later. It's like an airport Toblerone once stole out of a child's bag.

Oh, my God. Absolutely fine. Totally fine with it. Other dogs, a bit of chocolate, they're dead. I think it's the cruelest thing that one of the most like readily available snacks in a house is poisoned to a dog yeah it's wild isn't it but ron could eat anything i mean literally anything he once ate um he once we took him on a walk around a reservoir and he found a dead trout that was uh must have been oh that was kind of rotted it

turned green delicious and absolutely delicious and he and he was trotting along with that in his mouth and two ladies ran past in their running gear and one of them was involuntarily sick. The smell is fucking unbelievable. But Rob was going, oh, this is a lovely snack. Lovely snack, I'll have this later. I found her with a bit of string hanging out of her mouth. I hadn't been out of the house for very long,

so it was from nearby. And I don't need to tell you the rest of that story, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she was sucking a tampon, she was. Yeah. And I wouldn't let go of it. I thought it was like a little pull toy. Yeah, Rob's had all sorts,

he had pads out of the bin, all sorts of stuff. He used to break into, when we had a nappy bin on the back of uh the kitchen door under the sink or bin it had a lock on it yeah with a bin on the flat top bin on the back you could open that get down to the bottom get a nappy out undo the nappy bag roll the nappy out eat the shit just leave all the mess on the floor incredibly bright but disgusting creature i'm glad my dog doesn't eat shite like that's a that's a you know

when you think of like all the quirks that your dog has yeah like i was saying like mine's quite reactive to lights and leaves just anything that like she can get anything she's like what's that can i have it that's that's her little quirk and i'm like oh i would not trade that quirk for choose the remote yeah you know what i mean like there's certain things that other people's dogs have is like a quirk and i'm like for the quirks that my dog has like i'm really glad eating shit isn't one of them because she's so keen to lick her face yeah so yeah i mean that is that there is some i'm glad because i let her kind of lick my ear so it's good to know good to know she's not a tad muncher but yeah ron i would never let him lick my face. Nah. No, not Ron. Anyone but Ron.

I remember when my son had just been born, we were living in Crystal Palace. I came downstairs. I think I was going to cricket nets or something. My mate Phil, this builder for Bristol, was walking up the road. It was dead hot. Both doors open, front and back.

And Ron came in from the garden and just kind of started hunkering down and went and he backed up and produced like a bin lid size puddle of what was definitely just fox shit that he'd been hoovering so he just took it partially digested it and then just implanted it and my mate ph Phil he could smell it like 400 yards down the road and he was retching

by the time he arrived that was I mean I'll stop talking about my dog there will be people who listen to the podcast

that just don't understand germaphobes I've got friends one of my Natalie's friends who comes around she'll like

Peggy will be around you see how she jumps up she's instantly like oh no I don't want to touch this dog and then sits on here with her feet up

because she doesn't want to touch the dog because she sees that dog as like a just a pet redish of germs that's been out in the wilderness

but actually that dog is your immune system's best friend I bet it really is when you have babies you've got to let they're going to crawl around

on the fucking floor and you can go around disinfecting everything but that baby will probably get ill more often yeah you've just got to let it's a weird thing it's your body figures it out it's a zero sum game in it being a germaphobe but i mean if you're a germaphobe then that is going to make you ill yeah so you're probably in the right yeah because you've protected yourself from all of the stuff that would normally immunize you yeah and now that dog's going to ruin you so when people are like that with dogs

I kind of get it but the fact that I've now had my dog in my bed it's not like we'll baff her every single night she'll be out for a walk in the woods and then she'll get in my bed and I have not got sick I'm like oh it's fine it's totally fine I don't mind being a little bit of a scruff

for that if that's what people like yeah exactly i mean where's that where's that that's been a glacial change for me because i was piggy was down here for the first year that we had i because i was like i don't want me dog me but i wouldn't put my shoes on the table yeah it's like i wipe my bum after a shit yeah it's like certain levels of hygiene so i just had that in the same bracket yeah i just had that in the same bracket as not wiping your bum it's having a dog in your bed i mean i've started talking about on stage i think the very concept of wiping your bum is inherently odd when you think about it isn't it like if um i remember a mate saying to me he said uh if you got dog shit on your arm when you were a kid you fell over in in a dog shit, and you went to your mum and went,

Mum, I've got dog shit all over my arm. And she just said, come here, let me just get some dry paper towels. Get a little bit of paper, yeah. Let's wipe it off until we can't see it anymore. You'd think, Mum, you're insane, wouldn't you? Aye, literally insanity. Exactly, and we tend to look around at the idea of a bidet or just washing your mum with a little shower.

That's a bit weird, isn't it? Or squatting when you with a little shower. That's a bit weird, isn't it? Or squatting when you do a bidet. That's a bit weird, isn't it? Them hoses are the best. That's the best way of cleaning your bum. In India and parts of Europe, like Finland and that, they'll have a butt spray.

I fucking sometimes don't even need a shade. Just get on, just go and fill myself up. I'm doing the jet wash in my car at the garage give yourself a colonic but also like

squatting when you're pooing is meant to be the best way of shitting because it straightens your bowel out

so yeah when you're in parts of the middle east I think it was Bahrain when they have the little hole in the floor

and you have to squat down on it that's bang on the money you feel like third world yeah they're a squatting dude just going I feel undignified at this but that's bang on the money you feel like third world yeah like yeah

they're squatting dude just going like I feel undignified at this but that's like putting your ass in the correct shape you see how easy

that poop falls out flop straight down you're meant to have like a little footstool and your toilet on you put your feet up on hug your knees

you have to be careful because you can't fire it off the edge I guess you're putting your cock in a different angle as well, aren't you? You've really got to know your angles. You're doing a trebuchet angle and you're pissing.

And you can't shit without pissing. If you can get the piss into the shower, you're laughing. But then you need to have the strength of flow, don't you? Which obviously diminishes as you get older. It diminishes, yeah, it does. It's like flying out at different angles.

Talking of flow, can I have a little bit more of that lovely coffee on the side there? Is that right? No, I'll just have a little coffee. You know what I'm going to do now? This...

Do you do adverts? This is a podcast. You've probably already been advertised to, so you've probably already got your discount code for Thistley Cross because that'll have been

put in somewhere in the middle. But what we'll do now, if you don't mind, is we'll call this a podcast now we'll put this out on the public channels incredible and then we'll record a little patreon bonus special where we'll go through our phone notes let's do some uh do some uncooked ideas so we did this with ryan cullen and i asked at the end i was like if you enjoyed that format let me know and i'll do it with other comedians um and i haven't put that episode out yet so if it's like

a bunch of yeses then I mean it's requested and I mean if a bunch of people were like oh no that was awful those ideas

should remain uncooked then we are absolutely forcing it upon them against their will can I can I advertise my podcast on the end of this podcast

please do it now so yeah me and Tom Rigglesworth who's a very funny comedian what a guy he's great isn't he yeah what a guy we do a podcast

called the unlikely weightlifters podcast where we we meet up once a week and we we do well we got into weightlifting I think it was in

in lockdown I mean you wouldn't know to look at me yeah man you'd be kicking up but it came you do actually do it man

but Tom Tom took an online BMI test and it turned out he was medically emaciated he was like

an extra from Tenko he was properly he is because he's so tall yeah it just looks like it's that though he's about 6'4

6'5 but he was and he used to have his clothes specially made. He essentially would do the Mumbai gigs for the comedy store so he could get jackets bespoke made, because he's so thin. He's got a bit of a Satchel Bob look going on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was getting loads of back trouble as well when he was picking up his sodlers, because he got twins. Yes, he did, yeah. So he took it upon himself... They must be about seven or eight now, are they? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they are, yeah.

So he took it upon himself to put on 20 kilos or 8 now are they? yeah yeah yeah they are yeah so he took it upon himself to put on 20 kilos before Christmas and I joined him on that quest because I was about to start building an annex in the garden for my mother-in-law who now lives in the garden in the annex

not free range so keen amateur builder but I thought if I get laid up here or put me back out I'm screwed and I'd had back trouble in the past used to play a lot of cricket when I was young um but I remember once lying in bed one morning

waking up the sun was coming in through the window and I was thinking I'm so lucky I feel yeah I just do feel you know every now and then you realize you live a charmed life yeah and I thought I'm really lucky and I did a dog yeah exactly did a big yawn sort of stretched like that and my back went and I couldn't move my neck for about two months and I did a big yawn sort of stretched like that and my back went and I couldn't move my neck for about two months and I thought there's something wrong here and as you get older as you hit 40 or whatever weightlifting is meant to be the best thing you can do for your body

it diminishes your chance of falls which become more prevalent anyway so we meet once a week and we weightlift together and we started off because weights were dead expensive in lockdown so we meet all once a week and we weight lift together. And we started off because weights were dead expensive in lockdown. So we made our own out of buckets, builder's buckets with concrete.

Nice. And waxed out like Haribo tins and all this kind of stuff. Yeah, trying to get the balance of them right. It's pretty shaving bits off on the bathroom scales. And we got into it. And obviously Tom is much more um uh intellectually rigorous than i am so we went deep dive worked out we're gonna do a squat a bench and a deadlift and we do that but the best thing is the rest periods are really long so we just record the podcast in the rest period so that the podcast isn't about weight lifting at all it's just us starting each

segment slightly out of breath and then just talking absolute bollocks in between. Amazing. And it's free wherever you get your podcasts. Once a week. And watch at the search. The Unlikely Weightlifters podcast. The Unlikely Weightlifters. Please get on that.

Free every week. Diarrhoea permitting. That's what we say. So one in four doesn't happen. Get Rob on social media as well. Yeah, at Rob Rouse Comedian on the Instagram. At Rob Rouse, I think, on X. It's called X, isn't it?

Yeah, uh-huh. Occasionally on that, but mainly on Instagram and at Rob Rouse Comedian on Facebook. Great. And do you have a special on there that you can watch? So I've got a Patreon as well, patreon.com forward slash Rob Rouse. And there's a special on there called Funny in Real Life. Amazing.

Go watch that. And come back now on Patreon. Well, you're on Patreon. Sign up for Rob. Go and sign up for ours. And then you can watch us do some notes off the phone and see if we can get some stand-up ideas from the half-baked ideas we had potentially five years ago. I'll see you on that very soon. We're just going to break for a coffee.

Bye, everyone.