Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Bin Woman

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Muggins and Cream are briefly back in the studio between trips to Europe, Kai needs to pretend he’s being pranked to remain civilised in a lease car exchange, Daniel tries not to be surprised when he sees women doing traditionally male jobs. The boys break a taboo and chat very openly about money. #9

Sloss and Humphries on the road! Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin', livin' the dream That's our intro Fuckin' muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head that makes you laugh Woohoo! They said it can't be done! Are we in the same seats?

That's hack Ah, muggles! Accidental rim job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or might just be cynical Just muggled it up on fuckin' Mugglepedia Where have you been since 9-11? I am a big nerd.

Behind me, you can see I've got all the leather-bound books of Brandon Sanderson's book. People notice that as well. Yeah. People have pointed that out. Yeah, yeah. I love the Cosmere. If you don't know the Cosmere, it's Brandon Sanderson's universe that he's building he's been building for about 15 20 years i recommend you start with the mistborn trilogy it's just one of the best trilogies um ever written if you're like a deep

deep fantasy person i acknowledge that it's like a bit more accessible than you know other stuff but i like that about it. It's really nice. Like at the end, it's always high energy. I'm massively into it. So I'm trying to read... Books that accelerate at the end. Yeah. Because I find out with Stephen King,

like I'll have read that much of it and I'm like, there's so much to tie up. And then that last bit will just be rapid. Brandis Anderson fans call it the Sanderlanch, which is the worst nickname I've ever fucking heard. I'm like, back to the drawing board, boys! That doesn't scan that. That's like one of those things where I'll say it

on the podcast and just instantly regret it. Yeah, yeah. Here's the thing. Don't shit on something unless you have an alternative to it. I don't have an alternative to the Sander Lanch, but it's not the sander latch um so i'm reading i've i think i've only got like three or four books left and it's in the whole

saga he's still writing and unlike george r martin he will actually finish these books because because i don't care what anyone says brandon sanderson is a better writer than george r martin and proof of that is the fact that Brandon Sanderson hasn't written himself into a corner that he cannot get out of. Brandon Sanderson was asked to finish the Wheel of Time books. And if you ask any of the Wheel of Time fans, they will tell you that he did a remarkably good fucking job. Something that George R. R. Martin could not have done.

Because, as I've said before, George R. R. Martin cannot finish books. He can write jeopardy he can he can he can create tension he's excellent character building is amazing character building is good world building is fine it's fine and then he sold it uh he sold it and it became a big it became bigger than the books and it outran the books yeah yeah yeah and story-wise as well like it just it as soon as it passed the books yeah there's no way he was typing and catching up with it george r martin is a big fucking fat failure and the sooner he passes the better because once he dies hopefully finish the books well no brandon

sanderson will do it yeah just yeah george r martin just needs to cop it and then we just give the rights to brandon i've said this on the podcast before if as all good fancy novel writers get if and when they get depression which they all do without exception well with one exception brandon sanderson that god-loving christian with a yeah yeah not christian mormon but hi hi if i imagine him to be like Ned Flanders Or A chubbier one A chubbier Ned Flanders Minus the moustache

Howdy doodly That's him That is him Did I ever tell you my coldest take in the world That turned out to be super wrong When the series of Game of Thrones started overtaking the books and everyone thought george r martin was going to die and it wasn't going to get finished

i was like i'll have faith i've read a david baniyoff book and it's one of my favorite books it's in great hands i i was like guys guys stay calm stay calm david baniyoff has got this city of thieves was a great book guys Guys I know we're about to crash But I know this car is about to crash I know it's icy roads But we have current Michael Schumacher driving It's all going to be fine

I watched one of his races He was amazing So I've got like three Books to like finish The Cosmere and then I'll go back through them because I'm a big fucking loser. Hello people who listen to this podcast and watch it. I'm Daniel Sloss, one of the people on the podcast. If you do not want to give me any more of your money

and you do not want to subscribe to the Patreon or if you're like, you know what, even though we're in a massive recession, how could I throw more and more money at this spoiled spoiled man uh but you don't want it to go directly to me what you can do is by making us look better by making us seem like we've got more influence than we have it's going to thisley cross cider doghood at uk using the promo code thisley sloss 10 to get 10 discount on any order in the uk and it will be shipped to you. It is legitimately my favourite cider. The reason it is the sponsor isn't because they approached us, isn't because we have an amazing reach. It's because I approached them being like, I love this. I love small

businesses and I love Scottishness. And I also love drinking responsibly If you want to drink what we drink on the podcast If you want to give it a go And try one of the many delicious flavours that they have Which includes original Scottish fruit Whiskey cask flavour They've come up with a new malt wine flavour There is strawberry flavour

There's elderflower They're amazing I genuinely recommend you try them If you see us at any point in the future With these adverts not in the show It's because you didn't buy enough And you embarrassed us You embarrassed us

In front of our new sponsors by not buying anything Right, aye, aye Come here, zoom in Buy this, buy this I don't care if you don't drink, right Buy Aye, aye, come here, zoom in. Buy this. Buy this. I don't care if you don't drink, right? Buy it as a gift. Christmas is coming.

There's a mulled wine flavour. Buy it! Is it mulled wine flavour or is it mulled cider? Fuck! You know what I'd like to do as a nerd? I'd like to get every series that I've read from like Harry Potter toter to um game of thrones and the wheel of time when i finished it um the dark does it dark tower i'd like to get all

of the actual physical book piles and do like a fucking video of like each of the things like in a proper nerd like this is what i've read as a visual i mean that's what hopefully this is going to be for me but then like i'm'm worried that Mark Nelson might sneak into my house and smother us in my sleep. Yeah, but to attack Mark Nelson, Jaws isn't that good. Man, you've already lost so many people with your opinions on music. Jaws is great. Jaws is great. Jaws is great.

Jaws is great. And look, if Jaws is ever on television, I'll watch Jaws. You can jump in. You prefer Deep Blue Sea with LL Cool J, don't you? How did the shark swim backwards, Guy? That was a twist none of us were expecting. Jaws is excellent and was responsible for one of the better rides in Universal back in the fucking day. It was real good.

I love Jaws. I'm not here to shit on Jaws. I'm just, the way he reveres it, I see no different to the way I revere the wheel of time. It invented na-na. Yeah, yeah. Na-na. No, I think it went na-na. You think that was pre jaws that was short no that's the noise that sharks make uh-huh that's that's the noise that sharks make in the sea the only

reason we don't have any recording of them doing that is because whenever if i don't know if you've tried going up to a shark with a microphone as well they're doing it underwater they're like yeah no it comes out of the water i was like no no So differently up here The three books I'm struggling on And I know you're a Brandon Sanderson fan You like the Wax and Wayne Quadrilogy don't you Yeah they were alright it's not as good as the original

Yeah it's like Here's the thing There's the Mistborn world which introduces This new form of magic which is really cool and excellent and then I mean I'm not if you want me to get into the nuances of which shards

of which shards landed on the planet in which specific cosmere I love it when preservation and ruin by the way I love it when worlds get magic right yeah like I feel like Kvothe what do you call it

that series name of the wind name of the wind King Kilochronicles King Kilochronicles thank you Broken Worlds get magic, right? Yeah. Like, I feel like Kvothe, what do you call it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Name of the Wind. Name of the Wind. King Killer Chronicles, thank you. And also the Broken Worlds saga, which is the fifth season. You read the fifth season but didn't finish it. I think they've got, like, their magic system is good.

You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, cool. Like, you've described that better than anyone's ever described magnets to us. So if I'm not to believe that, then I don't believe magnets. Aye, okay. Fair enough. Brandon Sanderson's really good at explaining his magic systems. They make sense. They sort of scan and everything.

And, like, the magic system in, is it Skadrian? Skadrian? Doesn't matter. This is just nerd shit here. The magic system on that planet's very specific, and it's, like, back in the days of, like, like swords and not orcs but kind of orc storage thing and then a the end of the trilogy ends the trilogy um and and the the universe and the world is saved as they they always are the next books are like fucking 300 years later and i i can tell you a genre I just cannot fucking get into at any point.

And this is like nerd shit. The Barbie movie. Like I'll get into a lot of nerds. Fucking Westerns, man. Fucking any sort of like horses are just about to become obsolete. Like the steam trains. Steampunk. Oh my God.

Like the steam trains. Steampunk. Oh my God. Steampunk is just the, for me, just the most boring thing in the world. You don't like westerns? You don't like the idea of like a kind of lawlessness? No, I like that. And I love the Red Dead Redemption games. And there's plenty of like cowboy movies that I fucking love.

But I'm talking the transition year between a cowboys cowboys cowboys cowboys steam and this little thing here where it's like oh the wicker wicker wild wild west with will smith fucking stinky stinky poo poo i just like i don't know what it is whether it's just like the in between It would be like your favourite fucking Pokemon being Charmeleon, right? Why? Right. It's either the first selection or Charizard. Who fucking enjoys the middle?

Nobody enjoys being a teenager. No. You're this fucking rangy. You don't know your own fucking motor skills yet. Yeah. Your skin's gone weird. I remember in history, I'm a big fan of history.

I'm a bigger fan of not learning from it. I remember when we were in first and second year at high school, they taught us about Neanderthals, which I found riveting. They taught us about the Roman Empire, which I was like, oh my God, these cunts did everything. I signed up to third and fourth year. Do you know. They taught us about the Roman Empire, which I was like, oh my God, these cunts did everything.

I signed up to third and fourth year. Do you know what they taught us about? The Industrial Revolution. Oh God, I don't care. I don't care how many people died in mines. I couldn't give a fuck. I couldn't give a fuck. They're buried.

Leave them there. It doesn't matter. Oh, I can't abide it. No. And I know, and I know, know other people, and you're right. Is that because that history is a bit too recent? Is it history if I can talk to someone who was there? I don't think so.

It's just news. Yeah. It's old news. Which isn't fair, because I absolutely would consider World War II to be history. Old news, that history. absolutely would consider World War II to be history. Old news, history. And I find that, but that's World War. That's fucking, that's cool. When do you think it stops being old news and becomes history?

When the last, it's got to be when the last, when you're reading it from books and stuff. And also the interesting thing about World War. I met people from World War I, did you? Yeah, I'm pretty sure Marlene was there. Our agent. Have I met anyone from World War... I mean, they're all dead now. Oh, surely.

Yeah. Yeah. At least anyone who served in it. I'm pretty sure you've got some... Oh, yeah, yeah. You might have... You'll have World War I babies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That are well into their hundreds. No, my... Both grandparents were obviously around in World War I babies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That are well into their hundreds. No, both grandparents were obviously around in World War II. My gran on my mother's side has told me about when she used to go to the air raid shelters in Glasgow and stuff. And that sounds interesting. My gran got shot at when he was in an aeroplane, but he never left Britain. Just a Ryanair flight. Never left Britain. Never left Britain no more. Aye. that when he was in an airplane but he'd never left just a ryan airplane never left britain never left britain in the war but he was up he was up doing miles all the time because he was

training the pilots okay and who was you know uh the spitfire pilot so he would winch targets out the back of his fairy battle there's an airplane called a fairy battle and it would have like there's a what fairy battle like f is this back it's f ee-i-r-e-y fight like oh fairy fairy i think that's how you spell it not fairy not fairy i was gonna say like it's for those fairy fairy battle and then i was just like it's just the same time back when gay went meant happy just like this is our deadly plane the fairy spitfire i'm like oh a brandon sanderson character it was just just the other episode as well when I was telling you that people called RF

the flying fairies. Yeah. That's what spoiled it. Yeah, got to be, yeah. So he would winch out these massive cloth targets that would go out and then Spitfires would fly by and shoot at the targets

that were being trailed behind his plane and then he'd winch it back in and then kind of click the scores based on where the bullets had hit the target one two three minus four minus five lost a foot out he had some scary moments like this was a bit where like the um it was winching in and the fucking thing came off like the actual target came off the cable and the cable just comes shooting back in and whipping around the cabin and he's just fucking hunched up in the corners it's just fucking lashing this metal cable cable around the cabin in another time where the um where the undercarriage didn't come

like so they had to belly land on a field with no undercarriage no landed like it was the flintstones yeah so my grandad's got war stories From never leaving the country There you go I didn't realise how much the UK was There's And this is how I know I'm approaching My 40s

I mean I'm still 70 years away from it But I remember growing up And like We had one television downstairs which can which can well i don't think it was a fucking skybox back then but it was a cable box and dad would always be watching the history channel he would always be watching something on world war ii and you're just saying they'd be like man this thing is friends this thing is keenan and kell on it

like what are you doing two guys and a girl a piece of place what are you doing like why are we watching I can't imagine Like why are we watching My Wife and Kids is on here Remember that one Was it My Wife and Kids The one with One of the

Wayans brothers The older Wayans brother I fucking loved that one Mine was Boy Meets World Was my childhood Topanga Sister Sister

Remember Sister Sister Yeah Tia and Tamara I almost called them Tamor and Pumba Tamor and Pumba What else There was

Clarissa explains it all I remember Yeah That was the pre-Sabrina Yeah And obviously Sabrina the Teenage Witch Can you remember

When the Auntie from Sabrina The Teenage Witch Stormed out of Reverend Obendier Steppenwolf's show Yeah Because his show was Like I went on when the auntie from Sabrina the Teenage Witch stormed out of Reverend Obendyer Steppenwolf's show. Yeah.

Because his show was, like, I went on, and he basically just, like, rang around you and everyone to find out, like, some horrendous stories that he wouldn't want us to bring up to ask us questions. And then he brought, so it was, you knew what you were getting into. If you did that show, he was going to ask you questions where, like, you were like, oh, what the fuck? How do you even know that? Because he does a bit of research to find your darkest secrets and then he didn't even get up to any questions because he just went we couldn't get this what

was it we couldn't get the fit one so we got the pretty one no what i got that wrong didn't i cut that matthew cut that make it look better leave that make us look better than what i am make us look like i'm class not always get me words right because they that's how they think of me and i didn't want to spoil their image of us couldn't get the fit one so i got the funny one there you go and it's just stormed folks she's like no i'm not i'm not funny i'd rather be the funny one than the fit one. And thankfully on this podcast, I'm both. Fit means a different thing now. Yeah, it does. It used to mean you were physically fit.

Yeah, normal. Now it means people that are shallow like you. You can't do anything with it. Fit used to be what you could physically do with your body. Now it just means fucking nothing like that. Don't pretend it's fucking us that's changing words. It's fucking the Elliot Stills down in London. And while I'm talking about getting fucking older, I don't mind youth terminology that I do not understand.

But when bare means very, stuff like bare. You don't just get to change the fucking meanings of words. Make up a new fucking word, right? I've got one, like you do. What do I? Stop saying greeting for crying. Greeting's already a word. It means saying hello.

Stop pretending that means crying. No, no, no. Oh, it's all right when it's you. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a different fucking thing. It's an entirely different. Greeting is meant crying for 40, 50 fucking years in Scotland. It's colloquialism.

There's history to that. You do not get to, on a day, a random day, decide that bear means lots. That's the difference, right? You just did it. Right? All right. Well, canny can't mean. Canny.

Yeah. We made it word up for it. Mm-mm. Canny. Mm-mm. Canny doesn't mean anything else. You know what? Up here it means can't. Got a red squiggly line. Can't. No, that's canny doesn't mean anything else. Yeah, what? Up here in the red squiggly lane?

Can't. No, that's canny. Cannot. Canny. Canny. Can you canny shove your granny off a bus? Yeah. C-A-N-N-A-E.

No. There's a difference between colloquialisms and local terminology. Like, have Oxta. I know yous have made Oxta up, but, like, yous have made that up. Like, yous have just got your own word that you made up for it. But greeting. Like, it always baffles me. Like, because Gareth says it a lot

in text form and I every time have to read it twice because he's like what he's saying and what I'm receiving is like

when even though it's been years the pass is never completed because greeting already means a thing don't eat great chicken feet greeting it is a good word for it

but it's just like Pointlessly baffling Anyway I remember walking in Watching my fucking dad Watching this fucking history channel Being like Why the fuck are we watching

World War 2 shit Also when World War 2 movies Are available Which are way better Than World War 2 documentaries That being said 7th of December I've got a Netflix reminder

There's a new World War 2 documentary Coming out What am I What am I waiting for? We know what happened. All the information is there. None of this is... Nothing new has come to light.

The historians are there. Al Murray's got like a fucking 300-episode podcast which goes into every minor fucking detail of World War II. And it's fascinating. Why am I suddenly interested in it? It's excellent. It happened. It happened in real life. But why do we... World War II and it's fascinating why am I suddenly interested in it it's excellent it happened it happened in real life

but why do we and it was like one it was one of the like the good the goodness prevailed

with World War II it was like it was the real good versus evil fight and good won like that's why it's fascinating it's like fucking

it's like something about Hollywood that actually happened hmm also but i don't think you appreciate that when you're younger no you just take that for granted that that's something like that happened on that magnitude like not that long ago like world war ii ended right like closer to when i was born than when I am now to when I was born. It just happened. Recent, recent history, it just happened

and I got to be born into the world where, like, I was living free and we're complaining but it knew. We were struggling

to hold it together, knew. But like, the nice life that we've had is because that happened. Aye. And I think that's why it's fascinating.

I also think it's very fascinating. Like, was one of the most freezing cold takes I have ever seen in my goddamn life. And this is where like I am. Sometimes I think I'm far left and then I go back online and I see for life. I'm like, Oh, I'm definitely center left. And because you keep going so far that way, you're pushing me more into the fucking centre. The coldest take I've ever fucking seen in my life, and she will remain nameless, was like when the movie 1917 came out. She was like, how many more toxic male movies

do we need to like celebrate this? Like big dumb words. Like 17 year olds gave their lives. Like teenagers and young men and women put their literal lives on the line

in the name of that's it's not that they do tend to ignore other really important historical parts that they could be

talking about in those movies right they could talk about the fact that there were all the black soldiers that served

for America and then came back and still had no fucking rights and where's all the films about the women making bullets? Aye.

Constantly in the factories. So yes, I agree. I agree in the sense that yes, there could be movies made within that era that could be tell the lesser known stories of the other fucking heroes because it was the machine. It was the machine of the allies that won the war together. And we shouldn't just always focus on the people on the front line and the fucking generals doing it. But you do not get to reduce the genuine,

a sacrifice none of us will ever have to make or really understand. Not none of us, I understand this people. But even then, different type of war, really. Like the wars that are being fought in our name overseas are like hey we're going to give them democracy

we're going to make sure they've kept democracy as opposed to our democracy it's on the fringe and being under attack and we just have to send

kids people that can fucking barely drive that's what I love about the modern war films is that they're actually casting teenagers instead of just like getting like Tom Hanks

to pretend to be a kid. Also, I'm going to say, I'm glad women are at war, right? Here's something I saw yesterday, right? And I shouldn't be impressed by this and I shouldn't be happy about this. I saw a bin woman. Nice.

A bin lady. I've never seen a bin lady in my life. Why have I never seen a fucking bin lady in my life? Makes sense. All women are trash. I just feel like women could be better utilised. I'd be like, why are you doing that? Just get a grub today.

No. Why are you doing that? Forget that stanky-ass bloke picking his arse today. Women are allowed to pick their bums, guy. They're allowed to be scruffs that's that's feminism lots of

lasses doing roadworks and shit in Australia guy guy great all for it I think it was like

some Brazilian exchange that they put on I didn't think they would get as much I didn't think they knew they'd get as much uptake from lasses but then they were just like

cool aye I'm absolutely fine cool but when's the job going to get finished so my question is I didn't think they knew they'd get as much uptake from Lassus, but then they were just like, cool. Aye. I'm absolutely fine. Cool, but when's the job going to get finished? No idea. So my question is... Put the money in the jar. Put the money in the jar.

It's behind you. Oh, aye, oh, so... There's money in it already. Aye. Stick to it now. We need to put in... Because we didn't do any on the road. But I really do think we should put a fiver in

for that suicide medley that we did go against this is 10 in that's 10 two fives one foot just now I'll knock them down it'll come up on the video okay and then also five for all the suicide jokes we made that's fair all right there we go

I feel like we're back up to speed now probably not I think we're probably all quite a bit in this podcast already mmm 50 tech 15 didn't bother I had a fucking interesting experience yesterday Daniel uh-huh I felt like I was on a kid in camera show yeah the guy come to collect me car if I ever just if I ever thought I was on like a fucking ass and Kutcher prank show and I didn't like the way I'd reacted, like, let's say, because, you know, somebody pissed me off successfully and I actually did fucking snap in public. Like Zach Braff did. I don't know if you remember Zach Braff.

I know who he is from Scrubs. Yeah. Oh, man. His punked is awful. Like, fair enough. There's a kid vandalises his car or he thinks a kid vandalises his car. He fucking screams in this child's face. Like, real bad. fair enough there's a kid vandalises his car or he thinks a kid vandalises his car he fucking screams in this

child's face like real bad does it if I ever go into a situation like that dick out wank they're not showing that ah yeah

right I call it I call it the squid right well being fully racist I'm like there's a hidden camera over there

fucking is there shit this is the only way this is the only can you fill the buttholes aye this is the only way this isn't getting on MTV

cameras have stopped filming ages ago final live stream it so a guy a guy comes to me door right and eh I was like

he had to click the car and he was like yep and then I and he's right he, right, and I was like, he had to collect the car. And he was like, yep. And then I was like, he has the keys. And he was like, all right, thank you, bye. And I was like, do you have any ID? Yeah, I've got car keys. I was saying, because he could have just been, it was like one of those things where I was like,

oh, he could have knocked on the door for anything. And then I was like presenting him with a car keys. And then he just went to leave without doing any checks. So I was like, he got any ID. And then like he disappeared into the car for ages and then like rummaged through the thing. Your car? My car.

And he pulled his ID over there. Uh-huh. So he went in with his bag on the passenger seat. So he opened the passenger seat, went in there, and he was in his bag for fucking ages and I'm just like looking at him

where's his van like where's he picking this car up from like where's he like how how did he get here or like what's he is he driving the car back

and he got dropped off but I just didn't see him there's no way he drove there if he's driving away that'd be one of them big like when we when the other car

got dropped off and when that car got dropped off they brought like there was six or seven other car got dropped off and when that car got dropped off the broad like was six or seven other cars on the wagon and the tech that one off and then go and drop the next one off so I thought he was just got doing the runs getting collections mm-hmm but he's just there on his own when he van and anyway he comes up with this ID that was like didn't have his name of picture or anything on it and it just had like the company's name and then I cross-checked it with a text message that I got saying that they were going to collect it.

And it still felt a bit peculiar that he was going to leave with the keys. And then he gave us this ID and I took a photograph of it. And then he went to leave. And I was like, do you not have to do a check on the car or anything? He was like, oh, I was just going to do it when I got home. He didn't even say like back to the thing. And his English was bad as well. Okay. well okay like his english it was from newcastle it was a jody we just couldn't understand each other in manchester new blithe

and i like talking i was like do you not have to do like a check on the car like i mentioned in all the stuff that i got like you have to do a check, a check on the car? Like I mentioned in all the stuff that I got, that you have to do a check. Because he's about to drive off in it. And I'm like, I want you driving off. And anything could happen between here and your house, technically at home. Anything could happen between now and your house.

Like, even if he scuffs an alloy, I'm getting charged hundreds. And he just started whacking on the car as if he'd, like, never done a car check before. And, like, there was frost on the top. And he went across the frost on the car as if he'd never done a car check before. And there was frost on the top, and he went across the frost and looked at his finger. Oh, like he fucking made he pop and is checking for dust. Yeah. Okay, so you don't have to do a thorough inspection. I had a talk with him about it.

And he opened the car, and to get his thing, he took out an iPad, and he took out a thing, and he just exploded his bag out of it and like he opened the car and like all he to get his thing he took out an ipad and he took out a thing and he just like exploded his bag out of the footwell the driver's seat and everything and um he gets he gets his ipad out and this guy has never used an ipad before in his life it would have felt like less of a hidden camera show if mr bean come to damey car check i had to show him how to use his iPad right he didn't know how to he started trying to do the thing

and log in but it wouldn't let him log in because he's not connected to the internet he keeps trying to get on like facial recognition ID and it's like face not recognised

face not recognised thumbprint don't read into this don't read into I'm also this is somebody else's iPad that I'm taking away to honestly

it honestly felt like he'd mugged the guy that was coming to collect me that was coming to collect me pa and he was just fucking winging it with every question

that I asked him and eh give me a not that it matters but just so I have a correct picture in me head why asking this

you know I why asking this come on do the accent do the eyes if necessary Come on What are we talking about? I wish he was white

So I could have made a formal complaint If this cut was Polish Should we have a job? Are we Okay where are we going? Where are we Get prepared for money in the thing Are we

Just put the money in the thing Are we Call centre I'd get prepared for money in the thing. Are we... Just put the money in the thing. Are we... Call centre? A modern day pirate? Warmer. Warmer than modern day... Warmer than the Caribbean, Daniel.

Think Africa. Okay, okay, okay. None of that mattered, right? Sweet guy. Think Africa Okay Okay Okay That None of that mattered Right Sweet guy Right Fucking

Here's the leprosy No no no No it's lovely You've done the Dave Longley To any who What colour is he When it doesn't matter What was difficult

Was the language barrier So what language Was he speaking Swahili No he was speaking English Right okay But like It was difficult was the language barrier. So what language was he speaking? Swahili? No, he was speaking English. Right, okay. But like, it was difficult to communicate. I understand.

What accent? Do it. Don't do it. Actually, I was Captain Phillips. You got it right. Okay, okay. So, he gets his iPad out, right right and to log into the ipad you have to put your code in and he just quirties it right he quirties and logs in with quirt into his ipad and then he opens up the

thing and goes to log in and he types in his username as qwerty which i've just seen him use a password and then he typed a password in and it was wrong great right and i was like are you before this he didn't realize when he was trying to log in that he couldn't access the login because you need to be connected to the internet he didn't know that he didn't know that you had to be connected to the internet to log into the online file for this car and i had to realize that and connect him to the internet but he didn't know how to connect to the internet so i'm like you've never used this ipad like how the fuck are you going to do this check if you've never once used an ipad so anyway i managed to log him in and i've been

super patient and i'm actually like playing it through in my head like i'm on camera because this is like the only way i can be patient with this man is if I like call as a cynic right but I would have lost my fucking leg not if if he was a scouser he would have been chipped yes right uh-huh right like this man had additional needs mm-hmm in everything but appearance right and I had just gone just help this man through this process he's out of his fucking depth here he doesn't know what's going on so i managed to get him logged in and then uh i managed to get him on the internet and then he goes to the login on the thing and he types in the same start sending some emails hello i am nigerian royalty

and he uh he manages to uh type in the wrong username. And I'm like, is your username the same as your password to get into the thing? And then he's like, oh, ugh. And then typed it in because he hadn't realized that he was just typing in the same thing. And he eventually gets in. And then he starts going through this very, very extensive, thorough survey on the car. And to me, I'm like, this is a really thorough survey on the car and to me i'm like it was about like this is a really thorough survey and he was just literally able to drive away with my car every day in the the actual meat and bones of his job and um some questions were coming up like he was going parcel shelf

where's the parcel shelf and he sat in the back seat of the car and i'm sat in the driving seat of the car because we're keeping warm because it's freezing all right it's behind you like that's the parcel shelf and then he's getting over but he's like glove glove glove box i'm like the glove box yeah like is this a prank and then right i'm not lying here when i tell you two hours to get through this form, right? Fuck off. Two hours. Of your day.

Of my day. Fuck that. And it's fucking freezing outside, right? And it's not light, but I've managed to get my windows open, the lights from the house, and the fucking outside light. So one side of the car, and he's doing the wheels, and it's really fucking obvious that it's not going to let you take a picture of the wheel unless the full wheels in the picture. And he's getting fucking close up of the wheel and it's coming up error.

And I'm like, just back a bit, mate. And I'm like, I'm really patient and polite. They can just come back a bit and then do that. And I'm like, I could have took advantage of this guy. Like, you know, if there's fucking loads of stuff wrong with my car, I could have absolutely fucking put myself through a clear clear thing it was like it wasn't like he was screwing me over with how shit he was he was he could have screwed the company over with how shit he was yeah which was making me can i spent 150 quid on getting the bumper fucking touched up because there was like a little scratch that was like exactly 10 millimeters and it's like if you had to paint the whole bumper

because it was like within 10 millimeters and i'm like oh it had to paint the whole bumper because it was like within 10 millimeters and i'm like oh it's dead on i could i could lose like 600 pounds for a nanometer if this dense so it's like oh fuck it i'll just i'll just cash out on 150 quid and get it fixed now i'm just there again that was a waste of time and money getting that done um he gets run to the other side of the car and it's fucking pitch black and I'm like, do you want us to turn the car around so that this side's in the light? And he's like, oh no, no, I'll use my phone torch

and it wasn't very good. Clearly not very good, right? So I get my phone torch out as well. So he's there with one hand with a phone torch trying to take a photo with an iPad. The motherfucker is like, absolute boomer trying to take a photo. I ipad like motherfuckers like absolute boomer trying to take a photo i'm just like well you're not yeah how old is this guy maybe he's 50 okay maybe he's

50 and uh he's trying to get a photo and i'm like trying to help him get the photo and we've got the lights and like it took a fucking ages to get through and even at the at the bonnet right he's taking a picture of the bonnet and the car lights are on and it's pitch black and it's it's he took a picture of complete sheer darkness and i was like well you're gonna need to take another photo that's not gonna work we'll knock the lights off he's like oh it's fine i'm like why are you even taking these photos if you're just letting it anyway baffling motherfuck out right at the very end of this two-hour inspection he pulls a fucking head torch

out and puts the head torch on and he holds it above his head and he's like I've had an idea and then and then it

comes up like how can I ask you a question I want to be honest with you how close were you if at any point were you and then it comes up like how can I ask you a question I want to be honest with you how close were you

if at any point were you to racism Shane Gillis is a very good joke which is people people say I'm not racist

and you're like you can't say that racism is like hunger right you're not racist now but just wait until a cheeseburger cuts you off in traffic it's an excellent joke

Shane Gillis is one of the best comics going around at the moment he's excellent i agree with that as a concept how close were you at any point no i'll tell you what i did i went one higher you were sexist i was like you fucking dumb broad not one higher than racism like one higher than like him on the chain of command like who the fuck interviewed him and put him into a job yeah who the fuck like this guy not capable of this job he's not like like i wasn't mad at him he was so far out of his depth that like he shouldn't have been put in that situation and in the stupid, stupid motherfucker that went, oh, let's send him to pick up cars and do the thing.

And as well, you didn't train him. He wasn't trained. He didn't know how to use the thing that he was using. He's reading stuff that's in his second language and he's struggling to read it. You've got the wrong guy. That's what it was. I wasn't mad at him one bit.

I was like, you poor man. You poor man you poor man I bet you get racially abused aye I bet you get I bet you like I bet you get people

that'll be like looking at this bloke and we'll send someone that can speak the bloody language then right but like you know what send someone

that can speak the language I'm not gonna take anyone on him aye but I'll take the person take another person that sent him he couldn't communicate it

He couldn't use the technology Like I don't Like I don't want to be ageist Just say He didn't speak the language And he should go back

To where he came from I know that's what you want to say He did, Coven I did And I did as well Because I checked That'd be my Audi like I fucking knew it

it might be conicked oh it was fucking funny though I was finding humour in it like I mean if like I wouldn't two hours of my fucking time absolutely fucking not

under no circumstances I would have left I would have just been like man it's done it's over like I don't even want to trade the car anymore we're finished here

and then phone the company and be like do that again not a chance because I I rang the company this morning because they hadn't

they hadn't sent the email with like I was like I need I need the email confirming that it's had its check. You know when you're fucking connected to the internet, but it logs you off because you've went to the reach of something and it hasn't logged you back on. He was like, right, sent, done,

and it'd come up like a fucking explanation point. I was like, no, you need to send that through. I need to see that that's gone before I gave you the call. And then when that went through, connected me and then again i got it through and i was like i've got the email and i rang up and i was just like look i'm not i'm not going to put in a formal complaint but like i think that guy didn't know what he was doing like you need to train your guys before yeah before they come to a place because uh because it just he didn't know how to use the equipment that he had and I just think maybe he should do a bit more training with him

before he's done another job. And then I come off and realise that I just missed the email that was there. It had come through. I am in the middle of... I'm changing my Tesla. I'm not upgrading my Tesla I'm not getting the new Tesla supercar

I'm downgrading to a family Tesla because I have a family now and also also like on the old Tesla struggling to get the

fucking car seat in and out of your coupe are you no man the Tesla Model S which I have is an excellent it's an excellent family car it's very low to the ground

it's got back doors doesn't it yeah and a massive fucking boot a huge boot right it's really really good and it's incredibly fucking safe it's really good

I love that car I will never go anywhere other than fucking Tesla it's the simplest car in the world it's scale electrics it's just a scale electrics that they made bigger and it's

it's the iPhone of cars. It's for dumb people. It's for the dumbest of humanity. It's like, here's the lowest form of car. We're going to give you so few buttons as possible. So this is simple. It's the iPhone of cars. Everyone can use it,

apart from the guy that's coming to pick up your car. He still hasn't understood the concept of. I've I've got too many speeding tickets with the Tesla because it you know

it has ludicrous mode I don't need to go not to 60 in 2.4 seconds I don't need the car to go 250 miles an hour I don't need any I don't

you're taking the power away from your feet to keep your license and also genuinely ever since I did my fucking speed awareness course Cara will tell you

I am the most boring driver in the world now I do not speed I'm fucking safe as fuck that's how I don't get caught speeding because you just never catch a speed at a different speed

but unlike you I still go the speed limit I get that you don't want to take any risks so but I'm fine look I'm a family man now

I'm fine with it I you know in the future when I have another midlife crisis, I'll buy a fucking supercar if the need strikes me, make fun of me there.

Phoning up, Tesla phoned me up. They're talking me through, this lovely guy, he's talking me through the fucking upgrade process. And he's like, are you leased? And I'm like, I don't know, man. I don't do any of my finances.

Like I've got an accountant, I've got a manager and any of the home stuff is my wife because I hate phone conversations. I can't have phone conversations. I don't understand interest. I don't understand economics. I've no interest in learning any of these things

because I'm in a position where... Because I'm a man baby. I'm a man baby. That just eats and shit. No, but why would I fucking learn to do any of these very complicated things when I can just pay someone who likes doing that? That's their passion to do that thing

and they're trained in it. Why would I learn six months when I could hire someone who's been doing it for 20 fucking years? I'm trying to say this to Natalie about decorating. Yeah, I'm just... But I still end up decorating. Man, if I want to do something

and it's my fucking passion i'll do it i don't think it's a fucking man baby thing it's like it's the same thing of like why would i people go oh you know it's cheaper to it's cheaper to get the bus than it's to take a tax i'm like taxis are fuck it it's a privately owned fuck it it's i'm paying someone i think i would i would be quite stressed out if i had because i mean you've got you've got a lot of money but you've got such a weak grasp on any of it you don't you've got no understanding of where your money is or how much you've got or anything like that i don't know how much i've got i know but like even even when you're talking about your car finance like i know what my car finance is i

read through it and i signed it off and i know what money's coming in and out for me car. I would have bought it out, like, Cara said you want to get on PCP, and I was like, explain that to me. And then two minutes into her explanation, I was like, I stopped listening 90 seconds ago. Yeah. You clearly know how to do this, so you do this. Why would I?

It's not important for me to do it then. But anything like that, it's just something, it's like, oh, it's a fucking head bus, but i'm buying a house or i'm buying a car or like i'm fucking you kind of want to know where you're like where your money is and where it's going like you do you have any idea like what you're waiting for and what's coming in because i like i never used to be that good at it but now i'm like spreadsheet it up and i know exactly what's coming in exactly what I've been paid for

and like I've got a much better like grasp on it now and my head feels like a much tidier room it's like so cluttered when you're just you're all over the place

probably less cluttered when you've got more space like you do I've no I've got I've got really good accountants and I've got a really

good manager like I've got and I have several people looking over and they're all experts and they're looking over and that's what I pay them to do. Right? And they'll come in and they'll give me a little explanation of what's happening and I won't listen because I don't care.

So do you have an accountant for your personal life as well? No. No. Okay, because that's what I'm talking about. I've got an accountant for me taxes. Like I'm not going to profess to know what I'm doing with my taxes. I'll give him all my income and outgoings And he'll work out What goes where And how much tax I owe

And if I get fucking Investigated And I've done it wrong I'm like I'd be pointing my finger At that guy Yeah Because he did it all

But with my personal accounts Surely you know What direct debits you've got And what your outgoings are And Yeah I can check my bank accounts To see what my fucking Outgoings are But yeah I can check my bank account and see what my fucking

outgoings are but like I'm not I don't spend excessively yeah right like I mean I know

and to some people would disagree with me there and fair enough but proportionally proportionally for what I earn I am I'm not extravagant

in any way so you can free yourself of the burden of worrying about that stuff because you're always going to be safe and the second I'm not safe and i get red warning lights from this several people that look after my stuff i'll maybe pay a bit more attention or i'll just

pay someone else i'm just not interested like would you like caitlyn to learn or would you be happy for him to never know no no he needs to be a smarter person than me yeah he needs to be a way more intelligent person than i am yeah absolutely he can't get to this stage because i definitely think i'd like to teach me kids better than i had about money like i'd like to be better i'd like to be better educated than i was i really started off on the wrong foot when it come to money i was i was taught i was taught to be smart with money my thing was always and i was taught with family and agent was pay off your house pay off your house put everything you fucking earn it put as much of it as you possibly can into your house do not get out credit cards do not get into that i was taught all that stuff so i'm good with money i just don't understand interest i don't know some way i have to care and if all of it it's a

i guess it's like making sure that more of your money hits you instead of these big companies you're like protecting yourself from people that are just dipping you but I'm again you know me I am the type of fucking person

that I will pay extra money to not have to phone not have to do that and that's probably where these companies will thrive yeah fine

absolutely fine I've got no interest in talking I've got no interest in talking to some math loser on the phone for 45 minutes so you know like when it comes to paying like extra money on your house you know talking I've got no interest in talking to some math loser on a phone for minutes So you don't like when it comes to paying paying like extra money on your house, you know

I've got like just a regular mortgage from like a company like Halifax or something over 30 years And it's not like a high-risk lender or anything. Yeah You would if you pay off a hundred pound extra on your mortgage every month, right? Here these numbers. Mm-hmm numbers you save yourself 160 pound in interest in the long run for every hundred you still own that hundred pounds because it's in your house but you're getting 160 back in interest payment that you would just give to the bank for every hundred so every thousand every thousand you get 1600 pound of your own money that you're working for so this is it this might not be important to you,

but it's important to somebody that works one hour for 15 quid. One hour of their time is 15 quid. So if you're making that money, that money, that £160 is going to the bank. But if you can pay the £100 off, you'll keep that in the long run. I don't know what you've said so when you tell me about I'm educated on money because I'm already

always told pay off my house pay off my house pay off my house I've literally just explained to you why you got that information and why it was good information and you're just like sure yeah but the angle was the same I'm still good with flick but you're not thick I'm just not interested you're not a thick man you don't have to be interested to like

have knowledge yeah you do At least I do Man Look at my fucking exam results If I cared about a subject I would get a fucking A in it And if I had no interest

In the subject It wasn't a C or a D It was an abject failure If I'm not interested In something Gonna need a star and suck a dick Hmm? Nothing?

No? If I am not interested In something I cannot I just I cannot I just I cannot retain fucking information I tell you what I'm really bad at with that Is anything under the bonnet of a car

Yeah Like me dad would really have liked me To have been interested in cars I got to a point where I could change my brake discs And pads I could do that But like I just fucking It just had no interest in on any

for car look i put i invest my money well i don't invest my money i give my money to investors to invest i tell them how i want them to invest it like i have a i'm like because they go do you want high risk no risk and i'm just like ethical just ethical investments don't invest in war don't invest in the death of the world. Don't invest in any fucking evil. What about robotics? Yeah. You'd invest in that?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as it's robotics, like medicinal robotics. Not just them dogs that go running with guns on their back. Yeah, unless I get one. That would be fun. Saddle it up. Yeah. I I get one. Ah, that would be fun. Saddle it up. Yeah.

I... I like westerns. So, the guy... So, I'm on the phone and the guy's talking to me... The Tesla guy's talking to me about my thing and I'm like...

And I'm just... And Cara's right beside me and I'm like, just tell me what to say to this person, right? And I'll... Even though it should just be a conversation between you two

since you know what language you're both speaking, right? Because it's in my name I have to just be this fucking middle man of transferring information between the period the guy's lovely

there's no signal in my house there's never been signals in that fucking house I don't know why it's just there's you have to be connected to the internet for a call

no no you have to be outside because the Tesla aren't phoning me on WhatsApp ah right yeah yeah yeah so I'm at the fucking window right because I'm looking after Caelan the guy's phoning me on WhatsApp ah right yeah yeah yeah so I'm at the

fucking window right because I'm looking after Caelan the guy's phoning me to come in for the test drive and he's saying

all this stuff and I'm just and I've got sun there and I'm everything's going on and I'm explaining I'm like hey man look so from what

I understand I've got this I've got this thing on loan I've got it for four years I'm nearing the end of the fourth thing I need to transfer it over

because I'm not buying the car outright I understand i understand this i understand all i understand what the process is i don't understand what apr is and when i say i don't understand that doesn't mean explain it to me because i'm just not going to listen not only do i not know what it is i have no interest in knowing what it is it doesn't it's not interesting um so i'm like here's the situation as best as I fucking understand it he's like

sorry could you repeat that I'm hard of hearing and I'm like man fucking me too not only am I hard of hearing I'm hard of understanding right get to Tesla today

he had a fucking ear implant and he was actually hard of hearing it makes me be like yeah man yeah man me too aren't we all

yeah Jesus you know me fucking oh big dumb cunt oh I'm sorry yours is or not he's like sorry man I'm like, yeah, man. Yeah, man, me too. Aren't we all? Yeah, Jesus, you know me. Fucking, oh, big dumb cunt. Oh, I'm sorry, yours isn't that. He's like, sorry, man, I'm a bit slow for learning. Fucking me too, buddy. I'm a big giant retard.

And I turn up there, he's like, hello. I'm like, oh, no. Sink a fiver in for retard. For me. For me. sick of fibrin for retard for me even though even

even my stance on the word that word has been well documented on this fucking podcast see that's another thing is that that guy who's hard of hearing

like you can't be ableist you can't you can't be ableist it's wrong but you're digging in You're recruiting someone

For a job that's going to be Using the phone No no no His wasn't His heart of hearing Wasn't because you Couldn't hear His heart of hearing

Is because I mumble Right It was And it was me being too It was Me being too conversational Like it was me not getting To the point

Sort of thing It was me rambling sorry Matt so he's perfectly good for that job if you just speak clearly and also by the way when it comes to, because I'm very aware that my knowledge of fucking money in the real world is

we're purchasing a new house and I'm I'm like okay I'm going to be across it this time I'm going to pay attention when people explain to me when I have to change mortgage rates and why I'm going to have to change mortgage rates I'll fucking you know I'll do that I'll try

and be across it as much as I can and then the lady I don't know what her fucking job title is but she's the person that does all the contracts for the fucking house and stuff. The other day she went, I'll just, this is all the complicated stuff,

I'll just do it. And I'm like, thanks, man. Thanks for acknowledging that that is your job and that I don't have, but if I was going in for surgery, right? And like, let's say I had fucking heart problems, right? I don't need you, and maybe other people do, I don't need you to tell me what you're going to do to my heart. I don't need you. And maybe other people do.

I don't need you to tell me what you're going to do to my heart. I don't care about the valves that go into the heart. I don't care how the body looks. And if I did, I'm just being nosy. Yeah. Right? I do not need to know. I trust you.

You're a fucking surgeon. They wouldn't put a stethoscope around your fucking neck, right? And maybe that's me being too trusting. And maybe it'll come back and bite me in the ass one day. Fair enough. But I like to have faith in the people that i employ and the people that i trust i have trust in them that they're i like to believe that the world is good yes there are big corporations that are fucking evil and awful and they're trying to get money out of you but i do believe that most people in a fucking

face-to-face level are human beings aren't going to treat you like that and people who disagree with that i think you're on the internet too much and because we're super fucking divided because the media wants us to be divided, it feels the way that you can't trust people. I like to inherently fucking trust people. If a doctor, if my dentist was like, we need to take your tooth out, I'm like, can you explain to me

the bone structure of my jaw? Take the fucking tooth out. That's what I pay you to do. You studied teeth for 20 fucking years. So if you tell me my teeth need to be taken out, I'm not going to be, I'm not a do your own researchown-research person, right? And do you know why?

Because do-your-own-research people do less research than actual fucking human beings. And that is proven, by the way. People who say do-your-own-research statistically do less research than people who do not say do-your-own-research. That is verifiably true. What people who say do your own research do

is try to find anything on the internet that backs them up. Backs up their stupid ideas. Why would you do your own research on any of this stuff when somebody has... That's what the research is. These people have been doing this research

for 20 years on vaccines, right? I trust them. They've been doing the research for 20 years. I'm not doing 20 fucking years or research on vaccines before i take a fucking vaccine i'm gonna look at the people who i go you're smart you're educated and you're unbiased you have that you have nothing to gain in this you're not trying to sell the vaccine all right yeah yeah i i just have uh look and maybe this will

come back and bite me in the ass one day people can fucking call me a fucking man child all you want fair enough

so what about when you've got builders in your house if they're like they're going to do a job do you want to know what

they're doing well yeah because those are tradies and those are fucking con artists 70% of tradies are absolute

fucking criminals you don't worry that a surgeon's going to do a bodge job on you, just job and knock, the quickest route. No, no. Because those guys are psychopaths. Yeah, and that is how we should use psychopaths, right? If anyone's going to have a steady hand when they're cutting you up,

it's somebody that's psychic. If your child, right, is just, and it's like, I want to fucking cut people open. I want to understand how the fucking body works. Let's go through the right means. Yeah, yeah. It's like, if I don't flinch, if I put a blade onto human skin and I pull downwards and all this blood, all this stuff

that belongs on the inside is now on the outside and I love it being on the outside because that allows me to see how it fucking works Sweet, can you do me a little tip? Like get your fucking knuckles Let's not put these psychopaths into but then again i think

the opposite should be true if you've got somebody who's like hey i understand money really i understand math really really well and i understand if you do this and you do this and you do this you can technically get that much this much back maybe yeah you should be a financial advisor you shouldn't be a fucking banker no no no be on the right side be on the right side i didn't do that for the banks yeah yeah yeah like hey are you on the wrong side dude yeah yeah look if you're good if you're good with fucking maths and numbers become like a financial advisor become somebody that does tax for people who actually need it and i don't mean me i mean actual people

who who could do with the assistance to that as opposed to doing it for the big fucking corporations in the same sense that if you love blood become a surgeon and not a murderer i the reason i don't pay attention to a lot of this stuff and i'm in a position where I'm very very privileged to not have to worry about money so I don't right it's like a lot of the time when people tell me

you know you could save 1% there you could save 2% there I'm like I don't fucking give a fuck about 1 or 2% I know that's an incredibly fucking privileged thing

to fucking say but a lot of the time for me it feels like you know hey if you give that homeless person money they're just gonna spend on drugs i'm like that then that or oh that homeless person there that she's actually not homeless she's actually faking it and if you give her money you're falling for the con i'm like

that says more about her character than mine right i'll not allow my son yeah to fucking see me not give money to someone because i'm skeptical aboutical about their intentions. If they want to fuck me over, right, and it's a fucking over that I can take and it's not hugely detrimental to me, then fine, okay, somebody got an extra 50,000, 100,000 quid out of me, right? So here's what's terrifying, right, is that what you have there with your perspective of money, your lack of understanding, right?

You've got that on a small degree compared to the people who are running the economy. The people who are running the economy have your lack of perspective times a million. And then they're trying to run the economy for people who are on the breadline. Which is why I'm not a financial advisor. Which is why you're not in charge of the economy.

Imagine they put you in charge of the economy, how bad it would be. You don't have to imagine it. That's happening. That's what's happening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not claiming to be a fucking expert or even competent with it, but that's why I'm not in any position. But you wouldn't just go, well, I'm doing all right. I could deal with money fine like for everybody else like I

pay my taxes I pay most other people I fucking pay most of the Tories taxes you pay so much tax oh god aye

and I don't and I don't fucking skimp on it I don't I have been offered the fucking the Jimmy Carr stuff right

I've been offered the hey we can save Carr stuff, right? I've been offered the, hey, we can save you this much money. And it's like, no, right? A belief that I have always had, right, is that, and this is something that I have friends who are Tory, surprisingly, and this is the one bit where I've not converted them, but I've converted a line of their fucking thinking. I can tell you that there is a certain amount of money that you can earn that beyond that it doesn't

matter and anything else is just great yeah and I don't have great right I'm there I'm super fucking privileged I am super super privileged and very lucky to be in the financial position I am right and I don't want anymore I don't need anymore yeah and so that you've been like i can earn you an extra 10 next year i don't want an extra 10 next year yeah i don't need an extra 10 next year it makes no difference 10 the extra next year it's just it's going to be more tax right right and then like i mean i guess i could give more to charity which i you know i certainly will yeah i think i think it's different for you

because, like, all, like, your family's doing all right, but then I'm sure, like, if you just put that little bit of effort in, like, Matthew or Jack could do with the money and you're giving 10% of this fucking company and you're just like, you just give it to these cunts to have a bit of time. Phone me up.

You can phone me up and be like, hey, there is £25,000 with your name on it and all you have to do is tell us what APR stands for you'd hang it up

I don't care I don't I don't need that extra £25,000 you did something fucking wild in the airport we had to check in a bag

because we did for some reason the bag wasn't added to one of the flights on the tour and normally that shit hot with stuff like that but we're just like oh you have to check it in at the for some reason the bag wasn't added to one of the flights on the tour. And normally that's shit hot with stuff like that. But we're just like, oh, you have to check it at the desk.

So put it in at the desk and keep your receipt. So I come away, you check it in at the desk and you go actually put this one in as well. And I was like, oh, that's hand luggage. You've got that. It's already on. You can take your hand luggage. He's like, it's got me toiletries in. So I had the 100 mil.

I had to chuck them out. And you paid for an extra bag. So, like, I had the 100ml. I had to chuck them out. And you paid for an extra bag so you didn't have to chuck your toothpaste. No, and my fucking very expensive wedding cologne that Cara bought me. Oh, right, okay. Ah, you didn't explain that. You didn't explain that to me. It's in my toiletries bag.

I literally just watched you pay, like, I thought you were paying an extra fucking 50 quid for toothpaste. No, no. I was like, like man we're on different planets yeah so it's a bit more sentimental yeah it was my my my cologne that i wore on my wedding day with my darling perfect wife that oh my god and my electric fucking toothbrush and everything you take a toothbrush um no but also i'll tell you right now I Like bag there

Bag there And they're like Do you want to transfer stuff Between the bags 50 quid I'll pay not to Ah yeah 100% Yeah

Ease That's what it is Yeah I suppose That's a different You know you've just been Looking out to fucking 2000 people a night That have bought a ticket

Like it just That starts becoming like A fiver to you No no no I of you No no no I don't No no no And look Cara's very good with me

I hate losing my perspective on money I love it comedically Like I love winding up Cara and Cullen and stuff Pretending Like leaning into the I don't understand things But whenever I do feel like I am losing

Touch a little bit Like I i find it very important to be reined in but nothing will make me laugh harder than winding up cara by watching television and they're like today's price is a hundred thousand pounds and i'll just be like but that's not even the price of a car that's always funny to me that's that's but if i actually believe that in my heart of hearts, you have permission to break my neck. One thing I would never want to hang out of my software is working class guilt.

I don't have working class guilt. I have immense wealth guilt. I acknowledge that I don't deserve the amount of money that I have in comparison to there are infinitely more important jobs done by better and smarter people than me that are more crucial to society that see one percent of what i earn i think people i think doctors should be paid what i earn and uh i think fucking you know um healthcare workers social care workers fucking uh care workers Fucking Care workers man Should be paid as much That's what

It's the classic thing With footballers And care workers Like why Why are footballers Getting paid millions When care workers Are on practically

Minimum wage And you know like That's not how capitalism works The amount of fucking money That's gone into football Like The memories should Put in a way of like Siphoning a lot of it And supporting people works though the amount of fucking money that's gone into football like the members should put in a way

of like siphoning a lot of it and supporting people you know what there is a way a lot of footballers give to charities

as well if you were to tax the rich properly right and if the rich were to pay

taxes the way I pay taxes which is Jesus Christ that tax bill hurts because it's a lot. It's more than half of my money. More than half of the money I fucking earn goes to fucking tax. And that sucks shit. But then you've got people that are dodging that.

And if you taxed fucking Amazon, if you taxed the fucking Tories, if you taxed these fucking corporations and you were to use that fucking tax money for what it was for. Not on the expenses of already rich people. Uh-huh. Then capitalism would work, right? Look, I might be fucking center left, but if capitalism was done properly, in the same way that I believe if socialism was done properly,

it would work. If capitalism was done properly, it does work. The reason we are in late stage capitalism is because of the fucking greed that we have allowed people to get away with. Greedy cheaters. That's the only...

That's the fucking reason. If you were to tax Jeff Bezos, if you were to tax Elon Musk, if you were to tax these people and actually get the money and use it the way they... and stop them to add... I've always said as well,

100% tax after a billion. Everything after a billion adds back into the system. No, no, no. And you're playing for prestige now. No, no, no. Five million. Yeah, prestige now No Five million Yeah five million

Five million Yeah That wouldn't work on a company level Because companies Would need more than On a personal level yes Nobody Nobody

Nobody in the world Needs more than Two million Pounds a year Nobody There is nobody Who needs more than that Doesn't matter how big you are

How important you are Nobody needs more than Two million a fucking year Right big you are, how important you are. Nobody needs more than 2 million fucking hair. Right? And that's... But there's a lot of people that would need that spread between them. Yes. Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So that's the message of the podcast. Tax the rich. All right. Yeah. But going fucking tax, I know that's, like, me.

But, like, there's a's I'm not the rich rich like I'm just the rich that's like in the in the papers you're also not dodging I'm not fucking dodging fucking check go through

go through everything I've fucking done I have never ever in my fucking life I will bitch about tax I will moan about fucking tax right but not

where it matters or where it fucking counts anyway subscribe to our podcast. Oh yeah, give us your money. Three pounds. Give us your money. Three pounds for this insightful debate. There you go.

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