Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Ep. 2.18 Cru$her and Damagé

Episode Date: December 13, 2017

A double dose of Australian from the Punch-Drunk Nottingham HQ as Damo "Damagé" Clark and Nick "Cru$her" Cody jump on the podcast after an afternoon of escape rooms. 

Sloss and Humphries on the road! Muggins and cream, creaming muggins, straight thuggin', living the dream That's our intro Fucking muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head that makes you laugh They said it can't be done! Are we in the same seats? That's hack

Aww, muggles! Accidental rent job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or am I just being cynical? Just muggled it up on fucking Mugglepedia Where have you been since 9-11? I wish it could be Muggins every cream. Explain it.

The bell. Explain it. Ring out. Because if it scans, it's got to scan. It's got to make. So you wish it could be Muggins. You wish it could be Muggins. You wish it could be Muggins.

So every time I'm on the podcast, you wish it was you. No, it doesn't matter. Move on. I wish it could be Muggins every every time I'm on the podcast You wish it was you No, no Well, it doesn't matter Right, move on Wait, I wish it could be Muggins I wish it could be Cream, alright Look, don't question my wish If I rub a lamp We're back

With Sloss and Humphries on the road I am Dio Sloss You are still talking for some reason Kai Humphries We apologise for the lack of podcasts But also you get these for free So shut the fuck up We're over 100,000 total downloads now

oh yeah thank you oh here he comes hold on you actually guys you don't have to apologise ladies and gentlemen they're Cody I haven't done a podcast

for 13 months ah you can tell I'll just stop tweeting eventually just disappear that's the equivalent of going missing nowadays like

if Cody Cody hasn't sent a death threat to a feminist online in three days so I think we're I loved your podcast, why did you not keep it going? It's just my favourite version of like

I'm the softest cat Yeah, you're proper soft Truth hurts, but lies are way more hurtful So you look like someone who would beat women You obviously don't, but that's why it's funny You would beat women with other women No

Grab a woman no grab a woman hit a woman with it why you stay mum stronger that's it it's my favourite it's the same thing like during the

rap battle that we did that I kept pretending that your father was horrible to your mother just bring up shit that's an utter lie

speaking of which Kai how's your career going how's it going well my career yeah it's going good I career Yeah it's going good I'm supporting YouTube's Daniel Sloss

That's his stuff So we've got Double Aussie on the podcast Damien Clark Yeah First time guest Thank you Now Damien

One of the rules with the podcast Long time kisser We have Good We have Nicknames So he's Muggins I am Cream

Nick Coney is Crusher Because that was his nickname In high school Do you have any nickname for yourself for me no you don't that's not how nicknames work

did you ever have one like in high school did you have a shit nickname uh Damage in high school Damage

yeah not in a cool way not in a Crusher way because like I would inflict damage or like just break things but sometimes by accident Sometimes on purpose

Yeah that's it That's how I got it Yeah Because you break things Because you crush things Do you know Here's his crusher With a dollar sign

Instead of an S Do you know that Yeah He has a necklace He has a necklace With his name on it And here's his damage With an accent over the A

It's French Damage Damage Damage clock Damage Sounds like a Perfume Mine used to be Cream with a pound sign But after Brexit I just Dimash clock. Dimash. It sounds like a perfume. Mine used to be cream with a pound sign,

but after Brexit, I was just, I'll just, it's probably worth more now. Cream with a sense. No, you've just made the E the euro. It means muggins with a knife. Muggins with a smile. You know what? He got my wallet, but I think we both left with a friendship You know what He got my wallet

But I think we both left With a friendship But he got my heart Muggins with seven S Like that aubergine Yeah just this Blue sign afterwards Yeah

It's very weird You know they changed The emoji from It used to be a gun And they changed it To a water pistol Water pistol yeah What?

I was really I was really really Gunned the other day I couldn't find it Yeah it's a green It's a green gun With an orange Bullet holes I was looking for the gun the other day I couldn't find it It's a green gun with an orange bullet hole They thought the guns were like too offensive So they changed it to What about a syringe filled with blood is fine

And also Cigarette Don't stop the actual gun It's the emoji It's the emoji killing all the kids in the elementary school So they couldn't text each other Tap tap tap on your phone. Sandy Hook was just a group text.

So this is what we're saying is that in America, guns are still legal, but they ban the emoji. But the emoji is not. Ladies and gentlemen, America. And you can't use the drinking emoji or the champagne cheers unless you're over 21. Like, it knows you are. I've got a restraining order from the baby emojis. I'm not allowed within 20 feet of them. I have the van emoji

and the lollipop always in my recently sent. And the sparkles. Don't forget the sparkles. You know, when you type the first thing in a message and it thinks.

So if I say, beautiful. If I type beautiful beautiful it knows i'm saying texting me i'm texting this loss where are you my scottish love but if i write hi occasionally i'll just say cunt afterwards google's all over it um on main can you tell the if i tape in Linda, it suggests I want it in all block capitals. Same. More because everyone just goes, Linda! Yes, exactly that.

Are you able to tell the story about Natalie's phone? Yeah, I guess so. But shall we do it without using the word? Aye. You've said the C word. What else is there? The N word. The actual offensive ones.

Oh, yeah, that we can't say. So I was mocking my friend Matty because he puts a million kisses after every text, right? Like, overdoes the kisses. But doesn't he mean it? Huh? He means it? Yeah, yeah.

He puts, like, a million kisses. Does he actually kiss you a lot, though, when he says goodbye? But it's not to us. It's to his missus. To his missus. So I say, like, so he presses XX

and it comes up a million kisses right and he doesn't even type them in he fucking cuts corners wow so every time she's thinking

wow he loves me so much he's like that was I did it once and married you so just as a joke because I knew he did that

I put XX and used the n-word as the thing that replaced it right but it was just a joke to him to say like

just to make sure I don't send too many kisses. Like, you're trying to send kisses without making sure that I can't send too many kisses. Yeah, keeping yourself within line, being like, the second you press more than two,

it gives you the option. You're like, all right, okay, no, I'm not going to, you know. So we turn up at Ibiza, right? And then I'm in the shower. We just got there. Natalie's phone's died. And Natalie's mom's getting to the point

where she can't get in touch with Natalie because her phone's died. So she's asking me, did you get there safe? So Natalie texts her back, just going, yeah, we're safe, the weather's lovely, miss you, kiss, kiss, send, boom. To our brown mum. Ridiculous. Not even a missus in front of it So we've We're all in Nottingham

We're doing the branch of Punch Drunk Gigs There in Nottingham Those have been great gigs If anyone attended those, thank you very much Anyone in Nottingham who didn't attend them, attend the ones in February What's nice about doing punch drum gigs at Christmas is Christmas gigs

for comedians can be treacherous oh yeah we are in the medics tent right now our colleagues are at war yeah and we're just in the

medics tent we're all feet up just like oh I've got a broken door I was in the battlegrounds last week last weekend where I was telling you

that gig in London where they just booed me constantly for about 45 minutes oh I didn't know that 45? non-stop

yeah it also sounds like you overran you were before you were a horse yeah they should have because I kept going that gig in London where they just booed me constantly for about 45 minutes oh I didn't know 45 non-stop yeah it sounds like you overran you were a horse yeah they should have because I kept going no I was hosting and the last act

was just late but the break was too long and they were getting even rowder than they should have been so they went I was like man I'll go on

I'll just talk I don't mind thinking that the last act would be there and like you know within 10 minutes no it took him a long time because I don't know it was another

gig and they're just a constant but it's like at first from one comedian to another well done for being able to come up with 45 minutes in the last

section because no no you just did the same 20 twice just like their their attention span was so short it was just like doing the other comics jokes

they didn't even listen so I just did this he did 30 minutes then a match of the day version of his own set. He just had people breaking it down. Where did he go here? Straight through the middle. Offended the woman in the front row.

She was fat, though. It is tough to face the audience after having a rough gig. Well, it's nothing worse. Like that thing where there's no exit backstage, so you have to leave through the audience, and you just have to walk past all the people you've ruined their nights

and you're just like you've got a jacket on you've got your bag you've got your stuff you're just a human again yeah you've lost all the bravado from on stage

and you're like oh god what have I done but today we spent the day doing oh it was so good and escape the room oh phew

escape the room if you don't know how would you explain it, Kai? Yeah, if Joseph Fritzl didn't get caught, this would have been his business. It's crystal mares for you and your mates. It's like they put you in a room that's got a bunch of puzzles, and they don't really give you much preamble.

You're just there with a bunch of items, things on the wall, locks, keys, all kinds of shit. Numbers, pictures. We had a fun night last night. We all went to bed about 5am. Oh, that's awesome, dude. We already escaped our own rooms this morning. That was the first toughest test.

Can you wake up? We were like those people that were in World War II, sorry, World War I and then World War II happened. They're like, oh, for fuck's sake, I'm still able to get conscripted. Like, I've already done one. Like, I really think people in World War I, it they're like, oh, for fuck's sake, I'm still able to get conscripted. Like, I've already done one. Like, I really think people in World War I, it's just like, you've, come on.

You've seen enough. You've got to pass. Yeah, it's like being killed off in the sequel of a movie. You're like, oh, come on. So we bought enough beer for two nights because we're here for two nights.

So we went to Tesco, stocked up, and ran out. And that's what sent us to bed at 6 o'clock. And there's our first night staying in a place that I hadn't been in before, Nick hasn't been in before. It's a whole house that they've given up and ran out and that's what sent us to bed at 6 o'clock and there was our first night staying in a place I hadn't been in

before Nick hasn't been in before it's a whole house that they've given to the comics to stay in yeah

four bedroom house yeah but people actually it's people's house yeah I'm in the kids room I'm in Dean yeah yeah

when Dean's kid stays over it's the room that you're in yeah so I mean I don't know why they chose me to go in that room

but it was perfect because it's got like a poster of Spiderman on the wall and it's got Lego everywhere and toys and like diamonds you're like. Yeah, so, I mean, I don't know why they chose me to get on that room, but it was perfect because it's got like a poster of Spider-Man on the wall and it's got Lego everywhere and toys and like dinosaurs.

You're like, oh good, they got my Raider. The one thing I request. But I woke up this morning because we went to sleep and we

were completely blitzed. When I woke up, you know, all I see is just like, I looked like my room when I was 12. You woke up and

thought I went back in time. Back in time. He woke up in a kid's room and went, not again You thought I went back in time. Back in time. He woke up in a kid's room and went, not again. And my mum comes in and she's like, you're okay, you're over back in 1985. Mum, I had a dream, I was a comedian

and I went to the UK. I went to Nottingham. Back to the Future was originally based on going 88 miles per hour and not doing 88 beers in one night, but I can see where you were coming from. I cannot remember where I was last night we were playing a game called

Quiplash which is our new sponsor so let's give it a little plug if you've never if you're on Playstation or Xbox One they're not our sponsor because I'm being a dick

but Boris is QC35s oh Jesus Christ worn by legends Kai has his headphones around his neck too much is that a fair thing to say yes

I should have them on my yasmo off I'm sorry boss He didn't read the instruction manual The finest muffle sound The amount of times I've walked him With an ear cleaner up his arse And I'm like read the instructions When I've got my headphones on

I panic because I can't feel them around my neck And think I've lost them So we went to... You'd never done... Damo and Nick, you'd never done an Escape the Room before. No. You've done one. I've done every single one in Edinburgh.

Like, there's no more left for me. I've completed Edinburgh. Like, I've got 100% on Edinburgh. If it was Grand Theft Auto, I've done all the side quests. I've done every little version in Edinburgh. I literally wait for them to release the new room so I can do them. For your first experience... how was it oh it was fucking fantastic i had a great time but as we said there were four hungover blokes 2 30 in the afternoon going into a room where they we got the hardest room they go they go next level with the challenges yeah like

the room spun so the door moved to a different room yeah so if you get a challenge right yeah the room rotates right then the green light comes on the door and you open it

and you've got a brand new room spoiler alert we got about 85% of the way through yeah we're still in there we're locked in we didn't win thank god you brought

your podcast stuff yeah can't let us out but just so you know the Liz Dennis had a concrete pathway and it was a room like as you said Nick

it looked like your old nana's they'd set it up like an old school room. Yeah, and it had cigarettes-stained wallpaper. Yeah, full and eye-to-detail, all wooden and old, and the old globe of the world, and all these magnets on the wall and stuff like that. I was confused why it was circle,

and I cannot express how confusing it was when the room rotated, because we'd done the first part of it right and then there's only one door into the room you go into the room they close the door there's a red light on it yeah you can't get out you can't go so there's one point right where we're in the room for about 10 minutes we're just like fuck what is next and we felt the room vibrate and we just thought that was like oh they're trying to add you you know, just ambience. Like, make it feel like we're counting down. We'll figure out a challenge because they've got a bunch of different numbers on the wall.

And, like, dice numbers with the dots instead of the numbers. And we'll figure out all of the twos come off. Like, everything's attached to the wall, the twos come off, right? So we'll put all of the twos in these slots where it looks like they fit. And when all the twos are lined up, it fucking starts moving. And it felt like... The green light went on. But we didn't see the green light. It felt like we were on a boat. And it was like, oh, they make it feel like you're on a all the twos are lined up it fucking starts moving and it felt like the green light went on but we didn't see the green light

it felt like we were on a boat and it was like oh they make it feel like you're on a boat like you're in a cabin the first half an hour of our scab room

for us was ourselves asking questions like who am I yeah why are we here how did this happen again where's my

where's my where's my other shoe where's the spider man poster so so when it moved, we didn't realise that you could go back out the door you came in.

Why would we ever think that? Because in our head... Until they give us the clue, open door. Open door. So try and cover doors and shit? Open it. Entirely new fucking room.

Yeah. Oh, wonderful. So well thought out. We should give them a plug. It's Escape Ap Biology Nottingham. It's Boris Escape Room QC 30. Going in there,

I had a thing. I had the same thought as when I see adult colouring books. Where you go, some cunts just can't face the fact that they're adults now.

There's important shit to do. And as soon as I got in, I'm like, this is a magical room that spins. It's one of those things like when you go

when you go to escape room you're like god is this muggly like because you get there and it I've been waiting for it as a suggestion

but it's absolutely not just for the sheer amount of fucking and look there was no corner in the room so there's nowhere for us to stand

thanks for making it a circle yeah yeah so this is the thing with escape rooms is I would say no to muggle Corner, because anything that makes you live in the moment is a wonderful thing.

There's so many things that you look forward to that you miss, right? But with anything, computer games, escape the room, theme parks, anything where whatever you're doing, sport, playing football, where whatever you're doing is controlling your focus and you're not worried, you're not looking forward, you're not missing, you're not...

Anything that steals your focus and puts it on something for an hour is fucking a gift. Which is why serial killers are never in the corner. They're not muggles. They're just busy. They're just living life. Only got us. I honestly think drinking and meditating is the same thing

because I try to do meditation stuff and it's all about just this is the moment you're in. Past doesn't matter, future. You think it's like meditation? You can have seven p points and try and think backwards or forwards there's no way you can't yeah drinking is like meditating because you do it for seven hours in your underwear in the garden yeah and you're breathing every sunday meditative because when you're breathing when you drink you're like my wife comes in and I'm just going, um, um, um. You're right in there, Nick.

Speaking in tongues. That's your mantra. Rectus. Hominus. Chips. Chips. I remember the first time I meditated. I was a bit young. I was probably about 16.

First time I did it. Managed to get home. Who's doing that? Managed to hide from my parents. I was meditating. Next morning I woke up and just, I was, the meditation could be the worst, the worst meditation hangover. I was like. Next morning I woke up and the meditation gave me the worst meditation hangover.

I was like, oh God, I'm too at peace. I'm just, oh God. Life is frail but snowflake. Meditation, come down. I've done it a couple times where I've done like a 10 minute thing through an audio guide or whatever.

You think meditating is closing your eyes when your wife argues with you? Yes. I just yell, om. I'm in another realm. through an audio guide or whatever. You think meditating is closing your eyes when your wife argues with you? Yeah. I just yell, om. I'm in another realm. No, but I've done it. And you get to the end of the 10, and you can,

even 10, the longest I've got to do is 20. And it's fucking hard because they're just saying, any thought that comes in is no more important than the other thought. Yeah. Or worse than the other.

So if it's the worst thing in your head or the best thing, they're all just the same. Let them go then. And at the end you. Yeah. Or worse than the other. So if it's the worst thing in your head or the best thing, they're all just the same. Let them go then. And at the end you do go, fuck, I'm relaxed. I'm so lucky to have friends. I should go have some beers with my friends.

That's what I should have been doing anyway. I was out in the middle, man. I interrupted my trip with the lads to do that, to figure, oh, I should go back out with the lads. I'm lucky to have the lads. There's always that out oh I should go back out with the lads there's always that bit in meditation I've done it

very few times but it's always the thing when your thoughts come in they're like don't push the thought away

just acknowledge the thought and you push it because you might just have a fucking clear mind there was a I can't remember

I'll try and name if I can remember their name but the way I've done it was like don't push the thoughts away don't even ignore

the thoughts just in your brain just fart and just let the thoughts leave themselves so just treat it like yeah you're like at a bar and one of the thoughts comes near you and don't just acknowledge them but just fart and just wait until they naturally leave and that works twice as good as any other to sit there and just think about all the possibilities we're all fucking very lucky people if you're in the first world you're fucking very lucky you can think yourself out of anything bad

you know what I mean except to escape the room yeah we'll meditate for an hour it was a nice room, sitting in ours with the boys having a good chat every time I've meditated I've just been too like, you'll hear a car go by It was a nice room Sitting in ours with the boys Yeah Having a good chat Yeah Every time I've meditated

I've just been too like You'll hear a car go by And just going Ah you fucked up man I stopped doing All the fucking roundabout there I'm not even meant to do it On grass but like

Yeah That's where I'm going wrong Yeah No but that's the whole point No matter what comes in Yeah Best thought Worst thought

Any sound It's all the same so you've just got to be neutral you've got to have the just car no gear engine running and then you're trying to

I've done ones where you focus on your toes all the way up to the top of your head and back down and it does make you go oh fuck I'm because if you look

at your phone in bed just be alive for a bit yeah and then you go to stand and you go fuck I've got legs yeah your legs haven't even been attached to so you're connecting with parts of your body what you're

saying is acknowledging from your toes your head that's not meditation that's head and shoulders knees and toes like isn't that what it is don't get wrong relaxes me that's my mantra i sit there in the shoulders knees and toes knees and toes i sit there in the lotus position doing patty cake. This is how you do it. So we're going to skip the rooms, but last night playing Quiplash. So Quiplash is a game on the PlayStation. It's kind of like month to week. Jackbox TV.

That's what you've got to look for, isn't it? Jackbox Party Pack. Jackbox Party Pack. So you download it. And you can have up to eight players. And you don't need eight control pads Because you're using a mobile phone And it gives you a code And you put the code in

And then you're in the room And it just gives you little questions That you've got to answer Yeah, so your phone becomes the controller Yeah And you type in the answers And fuck me We laughed until 6 in the morning

Playing that shit I guess it's like Cards Against Humanity Or Mad Libs Except it's down to your creativity Yeah, you've actually got to Rather than using the card with a suggested thing on. One of my favourite ones was, what's the worst thing science has ever clothed?

And the two answers was, a woman or a twin. My favourite one was, what does a lazy cowboy call his horse? And the two options that the other teammates put in were, cunt or H H put it down Ricketts

when we played it with Ricketts it was the best thing to say while being burned at the stake and Ricketts said rare please

which killed us and then how do you sign off an email and it was PTO PTO PTO because you get some ones

which are real fucking challenging but other ones that are just but everything comes up as a punchline because of the Z players every question is 1v1

so it comes up with the players that have played I didn't tell you who's played it comes up with the question and then two answers and because the question

comes up people who haven't seen the question register it and the two answers come up fast and it's like a punchline and it hits you like the punchline

to a joke and you laugh at it and then you vote on your favourite and then you find out who said them and then they feel good about themselves we're also pretty fucking big last night that does really i played it sober and it's great like i'm definitely looking forward to uh christmas when my whole family's there because i'm going to make my whole family play it which will be a very different type of game because amongst my family i'm one comedian and it's my gran it's my mom my dad my brother and sisters that's going

to be like silly you play the audience as well you pick uh when you play in a room with four other comedians you say the worst fucking most horrendous dog shit like honestly i think we're banned from playstation online now because they read our answers but you know what i found after a little while i felt like filthy and dark stuff had diminishing returns because we were like hitting it so hard silly puns sit like so if someone would come up like really harsh or sit like um sick and then someone would put the like dumbest answer and that's what starts tickling you the climate changes what was the name of the like a hardware no what was the name of a family owned like this massive like corporation hardware no no no it was like what is the perfect name

of a real estate agent and my answer was John John and then it was well when it was there there was a big filthy one

but like it was like no John that's hilarious it was what makes up old people smell and it was old comma people and smell yeah

let's go into Muggle Corner because there's four of us so we're going to chat a fair fucking bit muggle and that's why we have a in fact yeah

Damo since it's your first time yeah on the podcast I was going to say he should go first yeah good suggestion

you should also explain what a muggle is in his honest opinion yeah what do you think a muggle is because we tried to explain this to you earlier and we obviously don't know

from your answer yet whether you've you know nailed it you've seen me talking about it on stage too yeah that's what it sounds like what a mogul is

it's someone who you just go just that's the that's the most and the worst that is like if someone in life that you pass by and they do something

you're like you catch yourself doing it you catch yourself doing it and also go I've been a mogul myself yeah of course we've all moguls yeah we've all done it

yeah but you see someone outside and you're like he's also saying mogul yeah we do need to correct that muggle what do you mean with a u with a u yeah i thought it was mogul with an o what a muggle i'd say mogul well that's not what it is because it's from i'd love to say words differently too but they're not it so it's a muggle muggle yeah well this is like a mug but yeah a muggle so it's more of a muggle is actually a baby mug it's a baby mug yeah baby mug okay muggle mug, but a muggle. So is that more of a... I think it's a mug. A muggle's actually a baby mug.

It's a baby mug. Yeah, baby mug. Okay, muggle. So what's a muggle? Another... That's them. And a muggle is... Got it.

Okay, I got it. Muggle and a muggle. So what's your first suggestion? Well, I was thinking of... I mean, because we travel a lot. So if you don't, it won't even matter. But you know when you're standing in a queue for security at the airport for like 20 minutes,

and then people wait to take their jacket off at the thing, or even unzip their bag, like no pre... I think this is literally from the first podcast. This is our biggest complaint in life. I think it is. Oh, mate. You go, what have we been doing

standing there for 20 minutes you take your watch off now yeah yeah what's gonna like and like there's TV screens and like stupid recordings

going please take off your extra whatever they're just saying and like they love they're like they're like thesauruses

the guys that work there because they love saying well how many words mean liquids it's like how many liquids gels pastes

creams sprays and i just say liquids they just love the but then but then someone will like catch him and go what about deodorant and then they'll go off another fucking tangent and then we like yeah like mists Bottled quiche To me it's mind blowing Doing this European tour Going around It's obviously very cold this time of year I understand it

But Some people wear fucking three jackets To get on a plane You're like Just put them in the fucking bag What are you The plane's got windows Like it's not Like they've got They've got central heating on the fucking plane You're like just put them in the fucking bag what are you the plane's got windows like it's not

like they've got they've got central heating on the fucking plane you're inside the whole time from now to the next country you're inside

in fact the worst thing that's going to happen is the plane's going to catch fire so even in a worst case scenario you're still going to be warm

you're going to get off in Spain with your fucking three jackets on because you're left from the UK the only acceptable answer to why

do you have three coats at the airport, you cunt, is if you say, I'm on the Red Baron. I go, all right then. Well, that explains the leather goggles as well. Good luck to you. And the red scarf. Why do you have three jackets on?

Because two people already asked me why I had a jacket on. Oh, yeah. I always fucking really despise, and I know why people do it a lot of the time, because we, us travelling is very do it a lot of the time because we us travelling is very different to a lot of people travelling like you're on holiday

you're excited there's no sense of urgency for you because it's your first time in an airport in maybe like three or four months like there's no

you arrive two hours before the airport because you want to get that airport lunch you want to grab a pint get the fucking muggly it's part of the experience

yeah you want to go shopping you want to do the muggly pre standard pre-flight photo ha you want to go shopping you want to do the Muggly pre standard pre-flight photo ha ha ha I do it a hundred times a year then

yeah do you think once you reach a hundred you should just get a pass and there's a separate thing for you yeah there is definitely there is you have to pay for it

no no no if you fly oh god I can't believe I'm fucking bringing this up I'm known as king in the air cunt on the ground

let Danny finish his point and then we'll get on but for us we arrive at the airport the minimal amount of time because we don't want to fucking sit and shop. So it's people not being self-aware. Like if you are at an airport on a holiday, just speed the fuck up. Everyone's trying to get on a plane.

I know what it is. If you catch the train to work every morning and you catch it every morning, imagine four out of five days of the week there's a group of school students getting on the train in front of you to go into town for the first time. Yeah, and none of them have reserved seats but they all sit and you're like,

it's clearly fucking sad there. People are fucking with their routine, isn't it? We're the muggles. We're muggles because people make sure they're on a routine. Yeah, yeah. That's the best thing about muggles. You hang shit on muggles and you're muggles because people know our routine yeah yeah yeah we'll probably that's the best thing about muggles you hang shit on muggles and you can be a mug yeah you want to keep it 80 20 non-muggle muggling i'm probably 64 if i'm being honest i reckon like if you're like a muggle yeah the 60s your mom your mom hi mom leslie's lost does a lot of muggle stuff like

all right she does my mom and dad stopped listening to this podcast. Working for the UN like a fucking Muggle. Hey, Leslie, you Muggle. She's so dumb, she still believes in polar bears. It's like, all right, sheeple. I love that your mum just embraces the Muggle, though. That's what I love about her. Yeah, I embrace a lot of my Muggle bits. Climate's changing.

Is it, Muggle? Or are we all changing? Or are polar bears just bitches now? Was it always Muggle? Or are we all changing? Or are polar bears just bitches now? Was it always like this? Oh, now you're fighting on our terms, in our climate. Man, I'd kick the fuck out of a polar bear in 35 degrees. For how many years have... We've not been allowed in the Antarctic or the Arctic,

which is where the polar bears are in, for thousands of years. That's their fucking territory like look they've dominated it the dominant species of that is now getting taken over like

you know polar bears and grizzlies are fucking now I think I don't think that so there's like light brown super legged little cause they're

they've been made before they've been made before in zoos but it was like a natural are you sure they're not on Bumble because they're like honey oh honey salmon is that a thing I guess so you only smoke corn zoos, but it was like unnatural. Are you sure they're not on Bumble because they're like honey? Oh. Honey salmon.

Is that a thing? I guess so. If not, we're going to be millionaires. First of all, we've cornered the bear market. Yeah, so now because like,

I don't know, travelling and shit, they've got their oyster cards. They're getting to see more of each other because of the transport links. You know, vegans can't use oyster cards. Oh, can they not? each other because of the transport links you know vegans can't use oyster cards oh can they not no

oh shit can't eat pussy no can vegans swallow because that's animal produce there's some

Christians in America if you blow if you blow a dude and you're a vegan would you swallow and just be the same as having a glass of milk? I don't know if it's because not all of it's being used.

It's technically not like a... It's a waste of one, but out of like... I don't know. Really, most vegans, absolutely 100% not. But there are other Christians at the moment that are claiming that, obviously, masturbation is a sin. If they believe that abortion is killing a life, they think... No, that's got to be in a mock...

I saw a post with that where masturbation is murder and all that shit. That's got to be people just like retaliating and being trolling. It's trolling. Oh, fake news. Never ever underestimate the dark parts of America. Yeah, that's my favourite thing about America

is the extremes. So it's the same people that will give you Google and NASA are the same people that are like... Mensa. Mens it's the same people that will give you Google and NASA are the same people that are like... Mensa. Mensa are the same people that are like masturbation is killing babies and... Yeah, well, the extremes are just so...

Google's leading to kiddie porn and the NASA's leading to like, there are aliens up my asshole. Yeah, so there is... The Venn diagram exists exists but it's always the most fucked up bit I know it always

yeah they are they should add all the best stuff in the world just so they could like plough it into the ground which is why I think we should build a wall

between here and the moon just yeah but not the sun I do want to get a tan so you're one that I think you're a hundred you're correct

I think they're already in but they need to go in again yeah just a reminder. It's a normal, it's just a thing, but it's the most frustrating thing in the entire fucking world. It's like, could you just speed the fuck... What did you think was at the end of this fucking queue?

I think it's just being dumb. Can I go next? Fuck, man. My wife, she's the best. And she's going straight into the corner. Looch, I love you. Muggles suck my dick. Muggles marry idiots.

Cop that, Looch. Natalie. In the corner. Mum. My wife, Lucia, refuses to take her phone off portrait mode, so we are constantly, if she shows me a video on her phone never flips it to widescreen don't point at me no no you're absolutely because but it's a fucking hd trailer that you're watching in portrait mode but you've always got to lock it no no but it should it

should just be fucking turn it and don't leave it on because what about you go to bed and you're fucking lying down and you're just like it's flipping top here and then you fucking lie with a quick neck adapt you do you lock it and then when you don't need it you unlock it just sit there

and look at your fucking if you're on your side you don't need to be on your phone you're nearly 90% to bed tell me what I do do I want like now

because every time I watch a video on yours I turn it I chop the ginger I told Kai this before the episode I said oh Kai this is my muggle corner I just want to make sure and I told him and he the episode. I said, oh, Kai, this is my muggle corner. I just want to make sure.

And I told him, and he's like, oh, no, man, it's real easy to swap. And I said nothing because I knew he's fucking going in the corner. Just from that reaction. Because it used to be where it was the little flick on the side, but now that's the silence. And you used to flick it, so you would flick it off to switch it. So now you have to swipe it off. That pisses me off a little bit.

Why have you constantly got your phone in diagonal mode I'm not always vertical I don't know what you know about me what do you think about me

I'm not always vertical it should be you shouldn't it should be specifically one arm in front of us right in the superman cape flat behind me

back I don't want to look to my left and then all of a sudden I'm looking at portrait mode fuck that nonsense

demo it's about locking you know when you're watching a video on YouTube and you flip

it sideways keeping it locked so it doesn't flip you know flipping it sideways I didn't even

know you could do that you didn't know you could lock it I've never locked my phone you've never

even turned your phone sideways I've turned it sideways but it does it itself no no that means you're doing it sideways, but it does it itself.

No, no, that means you're doing the right thing. My wife does it so even if you turn it sideways, it stays in portrait mode. Oh, that function, when they introduced that function, it was a fucking godsend. What are you doing? For people like Kai and my wife. Hold on, hold on. Wait, the first thing you do when you wake up

and the last thing you do before bed is fuck around with your phone and let the cold wear off. Do it like this. I don't understand why it's on your side. I don't understand why it's on your side. I don't understand why you're on your side. You only put... You sit up in bed on your phone. Yes.

Or lie in bed. Lie in bed up there. You only need widescreen to watch fucking trailers over porn. That's the only two times you ever need fucking widescreen. This is one of the worst things, right, was Natalie sent us a video

of the wedding destination. She went out with her friend before we went out and booked it and she sent us a video and she wedding destination. She went out with her friend before we went out and booked it, and she sent us a video, and she hadn't locked her phone, but she kept switching between portrait and landscape and shit, right? And it was, like, fucking around with me screen. Now, if she just locked her phone and took that video, she could have done shit.

She could have moved it around. Locking the phone doesn't change how it's recorded. Yeah, it's just if she's flipping the phone as she records it. My wife is a portrait video taker as well. It's like, holy shit, they have made it 16.9. Wide screen perfection ratio. Just fucking turn it on an angle. And I know I fuck up videos because I'm a shaky cunt with my copper imbalance.

My videos, they're the worst. But at least they're in the aspect ratio that they're meant to be. That's the worst excuse I've ever heard for alcoholism. I've known you for about six years now, and you've always had your little tremor in your hand, and you always convince me that it's this medical thing. I've never not seen you not drinking. How can you have a cup of Iron Bones

when I've seen you drink so much Cotabeg? I'll go to bed forever. Go to the eternal rest. In your dreams. So, this is the thing, Cody, with Muggle Corner, is you need everybody's vote to pass the Muggle Corner.

I'm passing it. I think that if you're sitting up in bed, you're a muggle. Nah. Absolutely not. I think if you're lying down on the couch and you're fucking looking at your phone the wrong way around.

But mine doesn't on there Guys fucking switch around Do they rotate in the sockets? No no no But you just hold it The way that you're looking at it If you can't love yourself How can anyone else love you? You're one of those people

I bet you I'll catch Kai one day Flipping his Have you ever seen someone Send a text And they turn their Phone landscape To send a text And you go

Hold on What the fuck Did you not notice Last night when we This is a great point Last night when we Were playing Quiplash

He played the whole Game No He did You played the whole Game landscape mode Yeah Wow

What doesn't anyone else No No one in the whole world No why That's like the Modern day version Of being left handed Like you're

Disgusting And you should all be killed I'm a left sideways it's longer it's like the tv and then you hold up the tip it's exact same no but you can do it with one hand and a thumb you can bring it with that how old are you demo 30 40 30 40 40 which i mean that's a huge age gap yeah they're 40 yeah so it's do you reckon that maybe a generational thing like because you're too used to keyboards the second you see a keyboard on a phone you're used to doing a keyboard with two hands you're used to it you're not taping with your fingers you're still used to it no no but if you're used to a wide keyboard like as in quite you yeah well it's

bigger yeah sideways but then like tv so yeah i'm in the generation where tv is king yeah so for kids today it would be phone, then TV. And, like, TV's the next thing. So I wanted to make it exactly like the TV, so I had the one-eye cloak. Black and white. I was holding my phone up, and it was the telly, and I'm pulling it down. Do you know what I mean? I was just absorbing myself into the whole experience.

I think we should add this into, like, I think just using your phone sideways you're a muggle if you're not watching a video if you're not watching a trailer I was playing a video game that was a game no oh I get it

yeah but that's still like sideways so what were you doing it was up and down so it was like small and a read and he was doing it with one thumb or whatever

yeah it's just it's just got good eyes the way you hold your phone in it but yeah I put the lock on when I need it I take it off when I don't but do you think do you in it But yeah I put the lock on When I need it I take it off when I don't But do you think

What he did there was muggly Yeah Right well then your thing Is absolutely in the corner Because it's Nah Because you're chopping change Nah

I don't lock anything Yeah but you still use it sideways Nah I think a few guys Are lying in bed Watching it the wrong way around Nah This is because I really don't think

We're in the minority here This is a quick question To ask the listeners. You'll never get us? No, no, no. So, general public, outside of... Mugly, it's convenient. You're just doing something for your own convenience.

No, no, like... They've put it there to make it convenient for you. But it's not, because the amount of times you've got to go, oh, for fuck's sake, you're halfway through a video, you're like, why won't this cunt turn? But you turn it off, you turn it. To the listeners, just so we can get an accurate sort of judge

of who does this. Who leaves the lock on permanently? Who leaves the lock on permanently and who doesn't? Everyone vote just so we can get like a... Because I reckon it's going to be a 70-30 split and then you are in Muggle Corner

next week. Fair enough. Fair enough. Here's the rest of the party coming home. That's the sideways thing, man. That's like being a gamer. Controls are usually long ways. I mean, you can try and make it the same as cool as all you the sideways thing, man. That's like being a gamer. Controls are usually long ways. I mean, you can try and make it sound as cool as all you want.

No, but I just think it'd be weird holding it up and down. I'm not texting the telly. By the way, does one of us have some smelly feet? Maybe me. I've got my trainers on, so it's not me. My feet, that's not me. I don't show out in freshened. Even my shoes, nothing of mine.

No, no, sorry, that's my asshole. I just keep my dirty socks in there But can you smell Can you smell your own feet It's one of them Yeah You must be able to Yeah it's like saying

Can you taste your own cum So my one is I'm in the corner for this Kai you're in the corner for this Muggles go to the Harry Potter play Oh my god I had such a good time

That was one of the best days Of my life What? Hold on sorry The same guy's giving me shit For going to see Les Mis That's a musical? You know musicals

There's different things In the Linux Have you seen it? By the way No no no I have And isn't it fucking excellent? Yeah it's really good

Mate My name is Javar Prisoner 106, 702. 32601. I'm going to Argos, collection point B, item 36. Let's go to the Chinese, order the 53. I'm telling you. I walked.

So I was in London last week for the Soho Theatre. Looch and I, we went with Looch and a bunch of friends to see Les Mis. But earlier in the week, we went to see Motown. Neither of us have seen Motown before. It's a musical based off Motown music in the US in the 60s, 70s, leads into the 80s. I walked out at half time. Is Five Guys called Motown?

Five Guys called Motown. I walked out. I couldn't handle it because it had the worst musically thing to me, which is any time anytime even in movies like music uh biopics you know what i mean where it'll be the artist reads something and then they turn it into a song oh it is the fucking worst what did we watch that was like that so it's like john c railey in it oh yeah but they're doing it, taking the piss. Yeah, they're taking the piss. It was hilarious. Yeah. What's it called?

Just shout it out to the podcast listeners. What, the movie? Yeah, Dewey Cox. Dewey Cox. Dewey. Dewey Cox. With John C. Reilly. It's on Netflix, right?

Walk the Line. Yeah. It's fucking amazing. Is it Walk the Line? It's basically a parody of the muggles that you're talking about. Walk Hard. That's right. Walk Hard, a parody of Walk the Line.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Motown had about five things in it where it'd be like two guys talking at a bar and it's like oh where where's your lady and it's like

oh my baby took the morning train and then it goes dark and they're at a piano my baby took the morning my baby took the morning train and I'm like fuck you I just left

plucking inspiration from the ether fucking muggles I was on a my baby took the moon and I'm like, fuck you. I just left. Plucking inspiration from the ether. Fucking muggles. I was on a, I was at a panto a few years ago with my niece and a few others and we were just there and it was like, yeah, like,

they just got the bloody, it was the lamp or the beanstalk or one of them, I can't even remember which one it was. The beanstalk that comes out of the lamp. Yeah, it was probably the lamp. It's a crossover i got something and then uh they all started going um rolling rolling rolling on the river they all started coming out and i was looking around everyone was clapping and jumping around i was going there was never a river mentioned or rolling like this is so random I'm like what is going on

there's no link no one could follow the story it was just like jutting out like one time they sang Lady Gaga you know like

they just hypnotised poker face it was like no one no one had a poker face they weren't playing cards I don't know

what's going on here I with the with the Honey Power thing it's so high production it was one of the most it's expensive but they spend your money

here's how muggly I am I'm so muggly I create I love Harry Potter so much I created a podcast where the insult was muggle like I'm very aware of what I am

right I made Kai get into the Harry Potter book specifically because I was desperate to see the second the play was announced I was like you need to read the books

because I want to go see it with someone it's a sequel you need to know what's happened before and I'm fully muggled that's why I'm putting this in the corner. But fuck me.

What I'm... Like, there's one bit. Some of the magic is you can, like, understand how they did it. There's other bits which are just fucking inexplicable. There's a moving circular stage on stage

just like Escape the Rooms. So they stole their ideas. Right? And the way they set up the train is like it's just... There's no seats or anything. It's just luggage and then people sitting on the luggage And they're pretending the luggage is seats

And then the stage rotates So instead of you seeing it sideways You're seeing it full on And I'm talking five fucking seconds later They're all sitting on luggage The thing turns back around And somehow it's a fucking train And they're fighting on the top of it

I've got no explanation For how the fuck it was done The thing turns back around and somehow it's a fucking train. And they're fighting on the top of it. They're fighting on the top of it. I've got no explanation for how the fuck it was done. They replaced two cases with a train. Because it was one of the points where I was not expecting magic. Everything I'm like, this will be a trick. This is how they're going to do this. Yeah, here's the Patronus. Here's whatever.

This was just a bit where they're like, here's a bit of the stage. Psych cunts. Full fucking train. Suck on that. I wish Harry Potter was the escape the room. So I could just step fucking train. Suck on that. I wish Harry Potter was the escape the room so I could just step over four nerds

and go outside for a beer. The magic, it's a stage show. You've seen Penn and Teller. You're singing. You know how fun

Penn and Teller is to watch as a show because you're like oh my god how did they do that. This is a show with a story where there's a bunch of moments

where you're like oh fuck I don't know how they did that but I'm just going to accept that I don't know and enjoy it for what it is. You can look it up. Your dad's a scientist, Sloss. Yeah, he wouldn't like it. He wouldn't like him for liking it. Yeah. But even some of the tricks that I could kind of guess that they were done were still so impressive.

There's one bit where they drink a thing called polygist potion, right? You drink it and it turns into someone else. So three of them are standing on stage, right, in cloaks, and they all drink the potion, and then they just, they come.

Right, so their head disappears into the cloak, and then another person's head disappears out. So you're like, okay, there's two people in that cloak, but then that person, in a second later,

walks off, and the other person that was in that cloak with them is not there. There's not room in that cloak for two people. They're walking, they're acting, they're running around, and you're like, two minutes ago, there's that was in that cloak with them is not there there's not room in that cloak for two people they're walking they're acting they're running around and you're like two minutes ago

there's two people in that cloak and it's trap doors and shit right but still I guess the thing here is the only thing that makes sense

is Michael Caine's quote from The Prestige he's got a bloody double but you know what though I was given into the astonishment so much

that every time something was easily worked out I was like they would have like a light bulb at the tip of the wand to make it look like though? I was given into the astonishment so much that every time something was easily worked out, I was like, they would have like a light bulb at the tip of the wand to make it look like that. And I was like,

woo, how do you get the light on the wand? Like, just a watch battery and a bulb. Woo. I find it very hard to believe that a bloke from Blythe doesn't know what a fucking laser pointer is.

As he tries to take down planes. Blame the dog. a pointer is as he tries to take down planes blamed a dog so that's definitely it which one going to Harry Potter oh man I fucking knew I was being a muggle when I was there

loved it though I will sacrifice 30 seconds in the corner for 7 hours of fucking magic it's the thing I have with you two guys so you're not a fan of

nice food at all you won't try new nice food nice food but you won't go like fuck this city

is known for a thing I should try this thing you won't try that we're left by the hand

I've been out for nice food with foodies I've loved it I don't pursue being a foodie it's Harry Potter

I saw I think the third movie that's the only thing I know about it. So maybe you guys could talk me around into it. You didn't get the good stuff. For me, Harry Potter, it's hard to get someone who's older into Harry Potter because I grew up with it. Is that because I'm an adult?

I'd made my decision. We're similar age. I'd made my decision. I'm not Harry Potter. But he was just like, we've got each other to do a few things. He didn't think you'd like the UFC? I'd made my decision. We're similar age. I'd made my decision. I'm not Harry Potter. But he was just like, we've got to do a few things. He didn't think he'd like the UFC. I didn't think like comic books,

but we've like taught each other around. And this was another thing where he was like, give it a punt. It's worth it for the stage show. I just started getting into stage shows because I'd been spending time in London. And the first two books are, they're kids books. The first two books are actually kids books.

And like I've said, Stephen Fry reads them all. Give it a listen. Yeah. But J.K. Rowling she grew she made sure the stories grew with

the readers so like the third book suddenly gets weirdly fucking dark the fourth book gets twice as long and there's so much

more character development and then the fifth book just goes fuck everything you thought about everybody's adults now that's reading this it teaches you

it does I think it was a great book for kids because it taught me so much about just loads of little always that shit thing like this is where I learn love and acceptance, horseshit. But some of it is, if you read this thing that's part

of your world and you grow up with it that's why it's kind of hard to put you to an older cunt who can't read like yourself. It's pictures, right? Daniel just sold himself fully as a muggle with that little speech. Yeah.

So yeah, like, this is in contradictory to what I said at the beginning of the podcast about anything that absorbs you and makes you live in the present shouldn't be muggly. But man, that is a muggly out to live in the present.

And when I was watching that, I was living in the fucking present, right? I was focused on that stage. I was shushing kids. Oh, yeah. The kids were chatting. I was like, shh. They were really harsh because I was like, I oh yeah the kids were chatting I was like really harsh

because I was like I want to hear what fucking there was a seven year old behind us who kept talking and two grown men were like can you please be quiet we're trying to watch Harry Potter like it was

like that's how fully aware how muggly we are absolutely but to live in the moment so yeah as a little contradiction to my rule I'm going to

pass that for a moment all right go for your last one and then we'll do I can't remember what I wrote down but let's have it oh we could do this short and sweet

because it's fucking straight in but every time people write a Facebook status with a capital letter at the beginning of every word that takes time that takes effort you can see the time

you can see the effort you can like it's transparent that you've put a little bit of work into this they're just fucking idiots but you've just you've just done this to try and be like

I don't know if you're trying to be impactful trying to be like oh this is me just trying to be fucking different like it's not even it's not even like it's all

no I think it's idiots and it does happen it has to be it has to be it's not sometimes certain words in my phone

will naturally get capitalised like Linda you go back and you fucking change it if you mess it it's fully acceptable no no but like the whole word

Linda is capitalised but yeah but why so like if everything's in caps yeah they're yelling it but if it's just the first letter

yeah it's like a Christopher Walken so no no like every word will just be like

when you no why don't you just put a full stop why don't you just put a full stop at the end of every word as well

yeah because that would make sense I've unfollowed people for that that's a deal breaker isn't it oh yeah

I do a huge judgement just on your fucking character there the amount of fucking time it takes but it's weird

that we think capitals are shouting because by that logic lowercase should be whispering lowercase is just regular is it just regular

so there's no such thing for whisper it's not meek is in brackets a bit of like in brackets is stage directions I feel like maybe it's out of the mouth there's no such thing for whispering online if you know what I mean

I think it's straight I do actually quite like the asterisks where you can put a little note at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a nice little device. Grammar Nazis nearly ruined that asterisk for using it for spelling mistakes. I understand Grammar Nazis, but it's like,

is this your battle? Like, is this... I call it offside. If you ever win an argument and a Grammar Nazi gets you on a technicality, you've just been called offside. Even if you scored a goal and the Grammar Nazi gets you on a technicality, you've just been called offside. Even if you scored a goal, they disallowed it because you said your instead of your.

Let's put it fucking straight in. Yeah, straight in. The rest of our parties come back and we can hear them downstairs, so let's go and join them, but only after butchering each other's dads. Yes, first... I don't have the sticks yet.

Oh, you don't have them yet? No. Are they not? Well, let's all make it about Jeff Cody Yeah do it I've got to have a slash It's the last bit We've got five minutes left On Cody's dad

Because he doesn't have dad jokes So I'll start You can follow Nick Cody on Facebook and Twitter Instagram And Instagram Damien Clark so I'll start hold on very quickly you can follow Nick Cotty on Facebook and Twitter Instagram and Instagram what are you Damien Damien Clark

on Twitter and Facebook at Damien Clark correct and then Instagram is at Damien Clark is there anywhere we can find your drawings

and your comics because they're phenomenal because you've got a website where we can find them oh thanks Guy DamienClark.com hey yeah DamienClark.com

that's what I was saying with all of us isn't it go to Damien Clark yeah everyone's got their websites their dot coms but you can have some instant joy

from Damien if you just go and look at his comic strips cheers man yeah they're wonderful alright Cody

your dad pops popcorn in his asshole Nick Cody your dad spent 87 pounds trying to balance 50p's on a

floating lemon and a jug of water at the bar oh that's gross that's gross. That's it. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Sloss, your dad wears push-up bras. To be fair, my dad was trying to win the lemon. Cody, your dad phones suicide hotlines and asks for requests. Sloss, your dad is Jeff Cody. Cody, your dad clips his toenails from the wrong end. That's great.

Kai, your dad killed Bambi's mum. Cody, your dad opens doors with his forehead. Automatic doors, though. Just wedges them aside. Nearly pull ones. Your dad quit robbing bunks, but still wears tights over his head for the look.

Your dad's favourite movie is Jennifer Lopez's Made in Manhattan. Great movie. Homecoming. Cody, your dad got fired from his job as a milkman

as he used to deliver the milk but like he was a 13 year old news delivery boy from an 80s movie where he just heard the milk

at a house. You know, he just tossed it out. So he delivered milk from a van. You got too excited didn't you yeah my dad taught me

how to read also but not how to write that's why you don't have any dad jokes I've got a lot of your dad pictures your dad always

makes excuses and goes home just before it says round I'm sorry Geoff I didn't mean that like genuinely everything else I've said is true but that one and his excuses Your dad always makes excuses and goes home just before it's his round. I'm sorry, Jeff, I didn't mean that. Genuinely, everything else I've said is true, but that one, no. And his excuse is, it's my round. Good one.

Your dad has a birthmark in the shape of Dame Judi Dench. Cody, your dad went on Pop Idol and sang the Simpsons theme tune. He won. He's got a 12-week slot in Vegas. You can see Jeff Cody every night at MGM Grand. Sloss, your dad's Christmas list has Sega Dreamcast on it. Great console. Shenmue 1.

Actually, that was on his Christmas list when I was 11, because that's when I got it. Cody, your dad's a single-minded, double-jointed, triple-jumped. I was quadruple-jumped. Kyle, your dad thinks cats are female dogs. Your dad thinks the moon is the back of the sun. That's not what I've got written down, though. That's not what I've got written down.

Cody. No, no, no, that was mine. That was his, though. I'm after him. I was far from the hip. So it's mine next. I'm after the hip got written down, though. This is what I've got written down. Cody. No, no, no, that was mine. That was his, though. I'm after him. Yeah, but I was feinted from the hip. So it's mine next. I'm after him. All right, okay.

I'll be a candy. Cody, your dad's arse cheeks puff out like a frog's cheeks when he needs to fart. Oh, really? Your dad fainted when he read that Prince Harry got engaged. Your dad collects fidget spinners. Sloss, your dad got caught jerking off in front of the mirror And blamed it on getting catfished Cody, your dad's Instagram is legally classified as a hate crime Cody, your dad makes you call him daddy

Cody, your dad thinks Weight Watchers is a gym Cody, your dad can put Can put a full dildo In his mouth And bring it back out Tight in a knot Are we done? Yeah I think so

I think that's it We're done It's Belgian Your dad is Belgian Your dad can Sloss your dad can do That dildo thing With his ass

Your dad Smells like 10 day old broccoli with his ass you're dead it smells like 10 day old broccoli alright thank you to Nick, Cody and Damien and Clive for being on the podcast you can see me, Daniel and Nick

in Blythe Punchdrunk Cromley in Punchdrunk and Arshington in Punchdrunk in the coming weeks Sunday through till Wednesday

and you can see Damien by looking at his website. Yeah. Oh, I've got a bloody whole Aussie tour. I know Sloss is coming out as well. Demo's coming out for Perth Fringe. Yeah. NickCody.com.au. And, yeah, at the Nick Cody on Instagram.

I'll put up all the dates. I'll probably even plug Sloss's as well. And Demo, if he stops making fun of me. Alright. We're outie. Let's go party.