Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Ep. 2.24 The Generation Gap

Episode Date: February 11, 2018

Finally Mark Nelson joins the podcast and it's as savage as could be expected, with casual japes about Maddy, 9/11 and Syrian drone strikes. With Nelson stuck in the 90's and Elliot being a fidget spinning millenial cuck the generation gap becomes apparent and Marks distain for the youth of today leads to discussions of our legendary elders. 

Sloss and Humphreys on the road! Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin', livin' the dream. That's our intro. Fuckin' muggles! Ticklin' the clit inside your head that makes you laugh. Woohoo! They said it can't be done! Are we in the same seats?

That's hack. Aww, muggles. Accidental rim job in the park. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Or might just be cynical. Just muggled it up on fuckin' Mugglepedia. Where have you been since 9-11? You know what Mary Poppins used to say?

Spoonful of muggins makes the cream go down. I'm really running out of videos, boys. I am here with Elliot. Elliot's back in the room. Hello. And he's been co-hosting in the absence of cream. And we have got with us a very special guest Mark Nelson

not Gareth Waugh doing the impression of Mark Nelson but the actual Mark Nelson you've been on this podcast before but only through the medium of G-Tip

yep G-Tip does a great impression of me he does it's accurate and not quite as good as me can you do a great

impression of G-Tip yep but only in sort of the medium of rap i buy a hundred roses and buy a hundred more just to see your face i'd buy a hundred more if i was sleazy would you say more that's how it goes isn't it Look it up it's on Soundcloud It's kind of like It's not as bad as That thing that Tom did That Drake's on a train thing

I've been watching that all week So to anyone listening to this podcast for the first time We've had previous guests on Gareth Waugh who turned out He's a ginger kid that works at Samsung And he had an aspiring rap career when he was 16 I want that to be his bio For the fringe this year Samsung and he had an aspiring rap career when he was 16. I want that to be his bio for the Fringe this year.

Ginger Keane works at that. I have an aspiring rap career. 315 Gilded Balloon. That's what he's doing a show about. Is he? About his rap songs. Wow. It's going to be funny. Is he writing any new material?

Fuck, no. Some new rhymes. It's going to be funny is he writing any new material fuck no he doesn't like some new rhymes some new rhymes it's going to be worth it for the live performance of O Girl yeah so I don't know

if anybody hasn't heard it how they'll be able to find this there's an episode I think an early episode with Daniel NG tipping it

I'll fucking I'll try and repost it but Thomas Horton we discussed this last week made the oh did you alright made the not snakes on a plane drakes on a train

it's the worst thing ever made by far and away the worst thing ever made you know what, I'm surprised do you remember when we first showed you that Mark and Thomas in the room and you looked at him and went when you were photoshopping Drake's face onto a train, did you not catch

a reflection of yourself and think, my dad's the general? His dad is actually the general of the fucking military, not the army. He was the head of the army for a bit

and then he become the person, the head of the army, the head of the RF, the head of the Navy, he was the head honcho, he was the second in command of the Queen and then, we love you dearly, the head of the RF, the head of the Navy, Ansa Dew. He was the head hunter. He was the second in command of the Queen.

And then, we love you dearly, Tom, if you're listening. His dad's a lord now. His dad's the constable of the Tower. And by his dad being a lord, he lives at the Tower of London. By his dad being a lord, Tom has got the title, the Honourable Thomas Horton, right? He's decorated via his dad. His dad is so successful, he has a title.

Photoshopped Drake's face on the Thomas the Tank Engine. I reckon Tom's dad cries about three times a day. Just thinking about Tom. Pretending to be a cat. No, he can't even shed a tear over all the kids he killed in Syria

with a drone strike. He's more proud of those Syrian kids than he is his own it's going to be one of those podcasts but I love that it's got like it's creeping up to 2000 hits which is like it's a decent amount of hits right

but it should have went one or two ways, right? If you spend that much time making a video, right? You want it to go and fucking, it gets something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He spent a lot, he wrote the song. Mm-hmm. He hired the studio.

Mm-hmm. He autotuned himself. Yeah, so he did. He fucking learned the names. Fucking autotuned himself. He learned the names from everyone from Toys R Us and Tank Engine. Either that or he had them already in memory and he's already done a lifetime's worth of research.

He knew. Fat controller. Then you put together the animation of it. You uploaded it. It should have gotten some hits. We've tagged in a thousand people. It's got a thousand hits. I know.

Everyone's watching it twice. I watched it a hundred Yeah. It's got a fusing hit. I know, I know. Everyone's watching it twice. I watched it a hundred times. It's fascinating because I just want to know what was the mindset? Like, when he was making that, was he there going, oh, this is my Mona Lisa?

This is taking me to the big leagues. Maybe he's like Van Gogh and we just don't appreciate the artwork now and what do you think it's gonna it's gonna mature in a few thousand years time yeah when there's like aliens on the planet and stuff and we're communicating with them and we're showing them our greatest bits of art in it and we'll have like a few of the other like renaissance people um a couple of coliseums and that and then right you're both laughing because I'm saying

dumb shit but hear me out but then we'll also have Thomas's a couple of coliseums and shit

you'll have seen the listeners in the podcast but I shushed Mark there because I knew that was one of the Elliot rants

that you need rescuing from he's done so many Mark where he'll just go off on one and I'll just see him get lost I'll see the look in his eyes he doesn't know where he's going so many Mark where he'll just go off on one and I'll just see him get lost

I'll see the look in his eyes he doesn't know where he's going himself and I know I can throw him a lifeline

and chip in and try and fuel the bitch aye but no it's so much fun so much fun just letting him beat around

what's wrong with a couple of Colosseums back to the point of I don't actually know it was a couple

of Colosseums and shit it was this in the post dystopian alien know it was it was a couple of car seams and shit it was this in the post-disotopian alien invaded earth and there's a couple of coliseums is that where you were going with it then

and then they discover the artefact of the do you know where you were going yeah yeah yeah I was saying right so aliens have

got in contact with us and we're like alright what we got to show them they found Elon Musk's Tesla car they're like rah what else you got

what else is going on down there sending cars into space yeah we've got your show them. They found Elon Musk's Tesla car. They're like, rah, what else you got? What else is going on down there? Sending cars into space. Yeah, we've got your cars. Where's your art? Yeah, what's going on? Right, there's the Colosseum. There's, you know,

the Sistine Chapel. You know, Rome's got a lot. But what it hasn't got is Drake on a train. No, it certainly does not. What's the deal with, see that car that's gone in? What's the deal? Is that just going

to float around space for the rest of he's posturing a little bit isn't he the rest of time

he's just going to show it off isn't he aye he's a bit like he it costs like

half a billion apparently but he's worth like 25 billion he could have he could have uplifted a community

exactly I know he could have raised the country yeah yeah yeah

I know like Scotland aye aye aye he was just erase the country out of us, don't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know, I know. Like Scotland. Aye, yeah. Aye, yeah. The red Scotland of poverty. He looked at his options. You know, like sometimes when you fucking,

you've got a little bit of disposable income and you're like wondering what to do with it and you're like, oh, you know what, I'd like a new pair of trainers but I should probably

put a bit aside for the wedding and you're starting like way up on a day where you have money. He's done that on a level where you're like, I could feed a country or I could just fucking, I'm just going gonna kind of put one of your cars in the space

he probably he probably shits all over car companies who have just like sponsored a football team in it he's just like my motor's in space yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah so he's a he's a fucking powerhouse that dude you know I hadn't heard of him until this year I didn't know I didn't know anything about him

I've never even heard of his cars and then my dad started showing us some videos my dad my dad shows his YouTube videos

that are like 9 minutes long he'll stand there with his phone and press play right and I'll touch the screen and it'll have

like fucking 7 and a half minutes left I've watched 2 and a half minutes already right have I discussed this already?

You certainly told me about it. Because it's been on my mind, like, you can't do that to someone. No. You can't. YouTube video, I think, has got to be, like, three minutes max.

And even then, it has to be gripping. It has to be, like, that's max, isn't it? Like, 90 seconds is probably appropriate. But you know what? If you're going to, like, crouch down and show someone

a YouTube video, 30 seconds is probably a shout aye aye there's different levels of what's appropriate but 9 minutes is like

you would never put on a Netflix episode without discussing what you were going to watch would you you'd never go alright well we're going to watch we'll watch Rick and Morty

we've only got 20 minutes we'll watch Rick and Morty but you discuss it you put it on you wouldn't just go what's he doing aye watch this

aye now he doesn't listen to the podcast and I throw him under the bus all the time but 9 minute videos you'd put it on you wouldn't just go what's he doing yeah yeah yeah watch this aye now I know I listen to the podcast and I throw him under the bus all the time but nine minute videos kept following him you throw him under the bus

at the end of every podcast no you do oh yeah sorry Kev that's what pisses me off about young people what that lack of attention span

what do you mean lack of attention span the only 30 seconds that you can watch that's the only thing You would Yeah but that's because Man we've got shit to do

What shit have you got to do Fuck all Watch more videos Right Like I'm sorry You're going to come on The podcast

And I knew you were Going to do something About this You were going to come on And you were instantly Going to be like Oh the fucking millennials This that and the other

Aye and now he's Doing a deal with it Right yeah But what's so good about the 90s then? Go on. What's so good about the 90s? What's so good about the 90s? Every generation just hates the younger generation because they're young.

Like, that's the youth. No, not true. Why do you hate our generation then? Mainly because of you. The poster boy for millennials I just don't I don't think you're I don't think you do anything

well that's because we've only just turned 21 man most of us are just getting out of uni your generation has only just put a car in space in the 60s they put a fucking man on the moon I should have to think what your generation are going to do just put a car in space. In the 60s, they put a fucking man on the moon. I should have to think what your

generation are going to do when you get your grip on space travel. Put a fidget spinner in space. Put a meme on the surface of Mars. What do you want to be

when you grow up? You. God. Lower your expectations I'm dying Yeah because you were saying there about You're just hating on the youth and stuff like that But I think you can hate on a generation

Without them being necessarily below you I started hating on the elderly When the good elderly passed on. You know, when the war veteran elderly, they were belted, man. You wouldn't have met these cunts. The fucking war veteran elderly was a tits, man. Like, fucking, and they had stories that we couldn't even fucking think about matching. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because how could we? They went to war and shit, right? I used to love hanging out with these people. And they got respect that was just given to them because they oozed it right but then you get these

baby boomers is that the generation yeah who filled their shoes and demanded the same

respect that their elders got and you're just there going nah don't you're shitting me for

standing on your grass and shit we've not lived through anything oh the Falklands

oh Christ oh God what a time it's not do you remember the Gulf War it was so hard we had to switch the sky that's what

that's what spelt Arab people your age in Croatia when they're European they're slightly

older than you you're similar age to me but like the guys that are in their forties and stuff they've been

through shit so they lived through like Jesus in the 90s bloody hell so when the guy that's fucking

produces our gigs has been to war Jesus fucking remarkable it's a great crackdown he's getting his kills he's fucking doing it

but I can see in his eyes I can see in his eyes that he has he's got that cold death stare like this he's definitely

winged one or two people because that wasn't a straight no did you ever ask your grandad if he'd killed someone now my grandad had a really interesting job during the war but he wasn't on the front line this is what my grandad did

he got in the aeroplane called the fairy battle which was a fucking heavy beast, that would release a target behind, and the spitfires would come in and fire the fucking painted bullets at the target. And my grandad would winch it in and count the score and give the pilots the scores back. So my grandad was on home soil the whole time, but his job was dangerous as fuck, man. He would be in there.

There was one time where he was in the aeroplane in the back, and the target just fucking snapped off, and the aeroplane in the back in the target just fucking snapped off and the cable just come fucking lashing in and you just had to curl up in a bar

in the corner as the cable just fucking whipped around cracking off the metal of the thing Jesus you fucking you could have just

been ripped to shreds off that and there was another one where the undercarriage wouldn't have gone down and they had to belly land it on a field and shit it's wrote a book

about it it's actually you can get it on the kindle we've got it on his book but I haven't plugged it because I want to go through

and correct all the theirs he's got all his theirs wrong yeah he's there there and there he's got IE rather than Jesus

so I want to go in and just not that I'd be the best person to spell check I'd probably get Natalie to run it through but it's great it's called go on and get not that I'd be the best person to spell check I'd probably get Natalie to run it through but it's great it's called

go on and get it listen to this it's Juggling with Jesus for a Bob a Day that's what he's called it it's just a little memoirs from his

oh cool like my grandad was in the D-Day Landings but I mean he's not as much of a hero as your grandad giving the scores

to the family kicking scores that's where the real war a hero as your grandad giving the scores to the family kicking scores pinball reference that's where the real war was won I heard your grandad was scared of flying

don't worry I'll get on the boat he wasn't in the D-Day I don't even know what the fuck he did I was like

how come you got his PTSD is it contagious oh man was your grandad in the war no I both of them

were in the war I think my grandad fought in Africa the whole time he was like a driver for generals and shit yeah

drove jeeps so yeah both our granddads were very much on the admin side of with you being a similar age to me did you fucking shit your pants

when the towers got hit and you were like 21 years old I would have been 18 and we were in that draft age ah it just felt like

like we'd get drafted up to fight we were like did it not cross your mind I was watching that I actually worked I worked at the airport at the time

at Newcastle Airport and it was the fucking one of the service engineers fucking ran through because I was a cleaner ran through the cleaning office and dragged everyone

through to watch the telly I thought you were just about to say I got a big job for you I couldn't watch this and we were watching the towers hit and I was just

fucking hands on my head because the second one happened on like live didn't it the first one hit everyone comes through this and they were watching the towers hit and I was just fucking hands on my head right because the second one happened on like live didn't it the first one hit like everyone comes through this and then the second one hit

and I was there like fuck I'm going to war like it was the only thing on my mind Jesus I was just like oh this is fucking my life do you know what's really weird

I don't remember 9-11 like I don't yeah I don't remember it it's not an alibi though my eh my dad still goes on my dad's convinced me and my pals were watching a film

around my house when the attack happened and initially he thought it was just an accident my dad still is convinced that he heard in the news that there was another one headed towards the White House and then it was just never mentioned again. And I'm like, Dad, you're literally the only person that goes on about this.

Like, there are no recordings. There's no news story. There was one heading towards the White House, though, wasn't there? I'll get stoned and watch a lot of conspiracy videos. Yeah. That's my area of expertise. Because a guy on YouTube told me so. That, the flight 93 or something, United Airlines 93. United, yeah, yeah, yeah. of expertise because a guy on YouTube told me so that

the flight 93 or something United Airlines 93 that was supposedly heading towards Capitol Hill or the White House when the passengers took it over yeah is that the one that hit the Pentagon? no

it's like if you ever go down these YouTube rabbit holes which you can do you go to some weird places with it like there's so many different conspiracy theories that

because there's so many you kind of just disregard them all yeah you kind of just end up going like well you're always fucking

alright this one's plausible and then they'll go into something even more nuts like there's loads about it being holograms and things like that and you just go oh this like this is what is it octon's razor where it's like the most simple explanation for something is usually the most logical it is the thing so uh i don't

know where i'm going with this again but uh i think we've just debunked 9-11 you see the only the only other thing i'll take all the credit the only other thing my dad goes on about in 9-11. You see, the only other thing my dad goes on about in 9-11 is one of the first one of the first reporters for seeing

fuck's sake dad slides again come on is that a scale model you've made? That Lego was for your grandson, for Christ's sake. Why are you playing that? The only other thing he's on about, the very first reporter that we're reporting on CNN's name

was Eric Shun. Eric Shun? Eric Shun? Yeah, yeah. Genuine guy's name was Eric Shun. Eric Shun? Eric Shun? Yeah, yeah. A genuine guy's name was Eric Shun. It wasn't, was it? Yeah, yeah. Was it actually?

No, that's actually true. We had a family. That's also my friend Nicholas. I was in reception or something at the time. His parents, the day before 9-11, had been up between towers. Wow. Because they were holidaying in New York,

came back to London, and Nicholas was staying with us at the time. But even though they came back, my dad, because they were jet-lagged, they were staying up there, so they hadn't seen Nicholas yet. And apparently, while watching all this going on, I looked at Nicholas and went,

your parents could be up there, and then just carried on with my day. Oh, when you were in school? Yeah, but this is like... So you were a cold-blooded psychopath as well when you were that age? No, no, no, because I was like four. So I didn't have like... Like empathy?

Like empathy or anything, yeah. I just had like, oh, I'll just say this to someone because this is on the news. I don't remember it at all. You get those people, like my pal, see when the terrorist attacks were in France and the gunners went out at a concert and shot

like, my pal was texting me during that and he went, tell you what just think, like two years ago I was at that place, it could have been me and he'd go, well no, that's not a fucking that's not an argument, like you can't that's the worst when people make it, that's what

we've talked about this sort of thing before the marking yourself safe yeah and like when the Caridinian Ram crash happened

I saw people in Brighton marking themselves safe and I thought the tram's not that fucking long it's just such a way

for people to sort of make something about them that I could have been there yeah that said I'm going to be that muggle myself

I felt like I was fucking a curse on Glasgow two years running I was like just down the road from Big Accent you know the boss

the bin wagon was the bin wagon in the helicopter Clutha Bar oh really I was in Jonglas when Clutha hit which is just down the road

and then I'd just come out of the train station like 20 minutes before the bin wagon hit Jesus and I didn't live in Glasgow I'd just rock up to train station like 20 minutes before the bin wagon hit. Jesus. And I didn't live in Glasgow. I just rocked up to the gigs and fucking leave a trail of destruction. I felt like I was fucking cursed or something.

Wow. Sorry, mate. It's grim. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry for doing that to you. Sorry. Hi. So what got on at 9-11?

I don't know, just every conversation sort of ends up going that way, don't it? It does, doesn't it? We saw the towers before on Friends. Yeah. Oh, it's not much Friends, are there? Yeah, there's quite a lot, actually. Like, every kind of cutaway scene does the Twin Towers sitting there on Friends, and that's... Have you heard the big new track?

Is it Juicy? Yeah, Blow Up Like The World Trade. But it wasn't in relation to the towers, and it was trying to warn us have you heard the big new track is it Juicy yeah blew up like the world trade but it wasn't in relation to the towers and it was like fucking seven years before or something yeah but that's

that's to do with like the world trade the economy blew up like the economy it was like a metaphor for the for the FTSE 500 index having a rise

you know you know that traditional rock fucking people but do you ever find out like when people will start talking about a conspiracy theory

and be like like the one that's always The Simpsons predicted such and such yeah yeah yeah The Simpsons has so many episodes they are running out of things so if you look at all

they've predicted the people are like look they've predicted 15 things and you're like yeah out of like 500 episodes yeah it's like the blue card theory, isn't it? Like you see what you're looking for.

You see what you're looking for. It's that thing of when you're like, oh, you'll think of someone now. Like let's say the comedian fucking Obi, right? I haven't seen him in a little while. But you pop up on your Facebook and I'll recognize it. Aye, aye, aye, because it's on your head. Because you've mentioned someone you haven't seen in a bit right and it's in your head

and you're a bit more piqued by that but there's a million people who you've mentioned that they never show up but you forget that you mentioned them

because they didn't show up so for every like hundred there's one and you feel like it's a superstition yeah did you ever get

properly into conspiracy theories Mark I think I like it I like conspiracies a lot and like it's superstition. Yeah. Did you ever get properly into conspiracy theories, Mark? I think. I like conspiracies a lot. And, like, there's a great podcast called These Conspiracy Guys. Conspiracy Guys on the Road. And it's these Irish guys that do it, and it's proper funny. And they kind of convince you with everything.

Like, there is a lot of evidence that you can stack up with a lot of stuff. There's a great one, they do one about Madeleine McCann's disappearance. Really? And it's fascinating, some of the stuff that they dig up, like, properly fascinating. What's their theory? Do they think it's the parents? Do they think she's a goner? Yeah, I think that's their...

So they think that they accidentally murked her? I think it was an accident and then covered up. How would they hide her? The other thing I think it was an accident and then covered up How would they hide that? The other thing I think with that is I think they just catapult us and open Mars She's on that Tesla

Imagine that crash test dummy just took the helmet off It's a 21 year old Maddy McCann Do you always find with that whenever people will share a thing

on Facebook like here's 10 questions I'd like to ask Kate McCann and I just think like leave the poor woman alone like you know

a kid's got me sitting in the office check the cover up murder she's had a tough time no but she's got this is the thing I don't get she's had a tough time no but she's got this is the thing I

don't get she's got other kids so why would she just murder that one that's my that's my maybe she was a pain in the arse I mean it's the

excuse but she might have been sometimes they really fucking push you and then you that routine that's got loads of flack about Rihanna like he started Chris Brown started hitting her for nothing

he was like I mean she shouldn't have hit her but it was probably not for nothing he wouldn't be driving along getting along and then he's like bleh bleh bleh did you see the I was talking about yesterday did you see the Quincy Jones interview Where they're claiming

Marlon Brando slept with Richard Pryor Oh yeah It's fascinating reading that I put it on Facebook yesterday It just makes you realise how dull celebrities are now They're more media trained There's more There's more celebrities

than ever. You'll never get a celebrity like how you'll get certain celebrities back in the day because there's only a few channels. Yeah,

this is true. You know, I gigged with Jasper Carrot in Birmingham a few years back, right? And I don't know if he's before your time,

you might know him from your dad. I know of him, yeah. So Jasper Carrot, no one will ever be as famous as Jasper Carrot as a comedian

as he was at the time because there's four channels and he was on fucking all of them he's got a sitcom on one and a game show

on the other and a sketch show on the other and he did adverts and shit and he was literally like fucking he was everywhere

on TV yeah that's true actually did he not end up who wants to be a millionaire not his

is that his I don't know I have no idea I'm not sure because he he took him I think he went out the lane like oh no he did golden balls

didn't he was that him yeah yeah he presented golden balls but I thought like his company owned I'm maybe speculating here no idea

someone can find out and tweet us but as far as it went like he was this is what i said when i was hosting i was like um oh i can't believe i got to introduce him onto the stage i used to i used to watch him all the time with my parents in the living room i don't know what he was doing with my parents you see what you were saying about celebrities being boring I don't think they are because

the shock value in our society has gone up so if you throw a hotel if you throw a hotel at a TV if you throw a TV at a hotel room that's fuck all man Logan Paul's doing videos of guys committing suicide the shock values have been raised

so that shock value in what people have to do I don't think you get as many mental celebrities I think people are more professional now because the bar's been raised to a point like with athletes you can't be like George Best no more George Best wouldn't get his game now

because he would need to be an athlete as well as being that talented to get his game so in football you're not getting George Best. And I feel like it's probably the same, arguably, in comedy. A lot of the people who are successful in comedy are fucking real hard grafters. They get up early, they work at 9 or 5. It's like when darts players stopped drinking during matches. That's when this country went to shit.

That happens. It's a marked day. They don't drink anymore. Oh. Fuck. Chris Dobie. Do you know Chris Dobie, the dance player? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think he's performed in front of him before. Aye, aye, aye. I'm pausing him on Facebook. Is he professional now? Is he proper? There's actually two Chris Dobies on Facebook, so you might be getting catfished. Right.

There's two from the same area. One's a dance player. See the blonde lassie from Thailand. What's that? that Chris Dobie constantly hanging around my area like always 15 miles

away from me I was in Buxney spelling the name wrong so I said it was brilliant we had we had Paul Sinner

on and he knew Chris Dobie like he knew a little bit about his career but he also in the interval when he found out he was in, done a whole load of research on his career and Paul Sinner who's the chaser

for anyone that may not know he's one of the quiz masters on the chase, very intelligent man, tons of knowledge and he done all his research and remembered Chris Dobie's career to how he signed off every Darts game right and went on stage and just started rec Chris Dobie's career to how he signed off every Dots game right and went on stage

and just started reciting Dobie's career out of him telling him how he beat how he beat everybody how he signed off it was fucking remarkable I

I read it Chris Dobie just went you know more about me than me I read that I read a tweet earlier on I can't remember who did it like

to credit him in like the comments and stuff like that and it was about the chase and you know the guy, the big massive guy, the beast he was like Mark Labette or something like that

and the guy's tweet said I didn't realise that he was called the beast because the beast in French is Labette and his second name is Labette and I always thought it was just because he was a fat cunt. I thought I was going to go nonchalant. The beast.

We need to get into muggle corners. Did you come equipped with some muggles? Mark, I like to do this just for people that are tuning in to the podcast without having listened to previous ones, but also because you're a new guest. Could you tell us what you think a muggle is? So a muggle is a person that does something that you just kind of look at it and go,

oh, for Christ's sake, that's pathetic. Do you know what I mean? I think that may be the best description, yeah? I think that may be the best one. That's what I understand it to be. All right, what are you... Oh, sorry, mate.'s what I understand it to be. All right, what are you... You got me to the back of it. Oh, sorry, mate.

So what are you going to... You're going to open Mark, what makes you look at people and think they're pathetic? Right. Since you've set it up with that. Two of these are going to be contentious, so I'll start with the safe one. People who drink Prosecco.

Oh! And that leaves me in the other room. I fucking hate Prosecco. With a Prosecco. I don't understand when Prosecco became a thing Like It must have been like six years ago I'd never heard of Prosecco

It's just that sex in the city Kinda Prosecco o'clock Kind of shit Where like women Groups of people Pretending it's like this incredibly Sophisticated drink It's just shite champagne

it's cheap piss champagne it's like I had a mate who on New Year's one year came in and go that boy's got a few

bottles of champagne acting all big and just walked in and I was like they're 7 quid bottles of Prosecco you mad cunt you just didn't know

the difference and the thing is I don't even I don't dislike it as a drink I think it's quite nice and tasty I just hate the whole

kind of the wankiness around that kind of the society that's developed around it I can't stand that let's get a bottle of Prosecco this is a way of a

mugglery it's actually like fucking it's getting quite a few a few people on board with it right it's a movement

where people that are otherwise non-muggly aye aye aye I'll get in on it yeah yeah yeah like you'll be because you're getting married

you'll have to so like you're are you having like drinks like so after the reception so during the meal

there'll be Prosecco on tap there'll be sponsored by Prosecco there'll be champagne and wine like getting topped up

throughout the meal and then there's a meato bar but actual champagne like yeah hold on I think so

I'm not in charge but yeah sure would you would you say Carver champagne what's Carver Carver's

I think that's fizzy white wine I think it might just be that so that's do you find as well because I agree with the Prosecco thing

I find as well it can be the same with other drinks like Jager Bombs the way people can get mad about Jager Bombs they're like

oh Jager Bombs and you're just like it's just Red Bull and Jager however you say that but fucking Jager Bombs

the wheels come off the bus for Jager Bombs you sometimes have that moment where you're having a Jager Bomb and it feels like a fucking cut scene

in a drama where you put the fucking glass down on the table and flash forward to the carnage in the morning. It's like something... They can be unruly, right? You never have that...

You never have that cutscene feel with a glass of Prosecco when you clink it there. It's because of that. It's because of that proper caffeine hit at the same time as the alcohol. That's why Buckfast is like a mental drink. Like, Buckfast has got like...

I think it's like the taurine that Red Bull has, the stuff that keeps you awake, Bugfast has got like, I think it's like the taurine that Red Bull has, the stuff that keeps you awake. Bugfast has got fucking ridiculous, like 2,000 times your recommended level in a bottle, and that's why it's such a mental drink. It's not even that strong an alcoholic drink, but the caffeine just hits you.

The Muggle Rebo Prosecco comes around, like any of them Muggle-type quotes, like I've got 99 problems in Prosecco I see that kind of shit anything like that that's what it's drawn in isn't it

aye it's that aye it's a Muggle bug light in it that just draws them towards it and you can spot them

from miles off when people do things like that so I know fine well we have thrown a lot of listeners into the podcast

for the Prosecco Muggle Re a public enemy because Mary and Natalie and everyone Wait till you see the next two Soraya It shots my head It shots my head from Mark but yes I agree and I'm guilty of it

myself because I have enjoyed the Prosecco party a lot too Do you remember that time we were back here I think it was me, you, Danny, Stanley and Tom. We were,

you were like, I'll go find us a bottle of drink. It's like seven in the morning. We're in a sesh. And you just come out with this bottle of Prosecco, pour it. And the next day you're like, oh,

it turns out that was Natalie's really nice bottle of Prosecco. No, it was, it was actually fucking the champagne from a friend's wedding who went who went

champagne tasting oh jeez went champagne tasting right and come back and give Natalie gifted Natalie a bottle of the champagne that was from the wedding

and you just and you wasted it on me you tanned it at seven in the morning I come in with fucking snowflakes

falling at my nose fucking took the coke off of my teeth started drinking it through the bottle like fucking Randy off South Park shirt tail hanging it

I find out something like champagne like at Christmas one year when I came up there for New Year's I got sent a bottle of champagne and I don't know anything about champagne and I was like this is wasted on me champagne like at christmas one year when i came up there for new year's i got sent a bottle of champagne and i don't know anything about champagne and i was like this is wasted on me and uh this

year i got sent uh two bottles of nice harrods red wine um from my agency and uh i accidentally put the red wine in the fridge and just kept it in the fridge for the whole thing actually same room temperature but like you can't be a heathen if you want but that's a recommendation oh okay I'd have made it and it's been in the fridge just as long as you drank it with fish

no I'm just joking drank it out of a bottle we're fucking scumbags so you thought of this this crossed me before when you were saying

it's been in the last six years or something have you ever thought it might have always been on the scene but we've only started being middle class tourists for the last six years that something have you ever thought it might have always been on the scene but we've only started being middle class tourists for the

last six years that's a good point actually I probably didn't even know about hummus until about six years ago but I'm

sure that's how it's been around yeah hummus is quite an old thing I reckon fucking bad boy like

stop rattling your crisp packer please on the podcast sorry everyone you want I've got pizza coming as well

haven't I you eating chocolates before your pizza? Well, yeah, I'm a little bit hungover, and I don't really know what I want in life. We went out last night. Went to the casino, but didn't gamble. It was good, wasn't it? We just propped the bar up, drank a load of gin,

and you started on it. No, no, no. I knew this was going to be brought up. I did not start on the bartender. He was being a wank state. I was within my rights to get as angry as I did. He was being a wank state I was within my rights to get as angry as I did he was being a wank state

now Nate right because I think it wasn't us right I think I think Adam might have just because I well Adam Bloom last night he was fucking

he was lovely to this barman he was chatting to him but he was just he's very full on Adam and he was very talkative and I think the barman thought he might have been taking the piss a little bit

it might not have been that it might have been but he just stopped he just started for some reason being really obtuse with us like he wouldn't uh serve us around unless everybody was there yet would see him do like serving other people like everyone so I come back after he'd served you three but wouldn't give give them an extra drink for me and when I come back Adam was like oh here's my card you're gonna have to get a drink because everyone had to be there and he was purposefully ignoring us at the bar after he'd already been dicks for you guys and then this guy come and stood next to me i'd been waiting there like 10 minutes he come and stood next to me and the split second he stood there the barman made a

for him and served him with a bit of a glint in his eye as long as he was trying to wind you up but the guy realized what had happened but didn't realise it was a power player by the barman, and he instantly just went, oh, what are you having to drink, mate? I'll get yours, sorry for butting in. Oh, nice. And he bought me a drink, and you could see the fucking defeat in the barman's eyes

as he tried to mug me off, but then it backfired on him, and he reluctantly poured us this drink, and I don't know what it boiled down to, because I don't think we'd done anything to offend him. I don't even think Adam did. I just think he... He was being a douche.

And because when I was at the bar, I was stood there for a little while, letting everyone... You know, I have bar etiquette. I'm not going to push in front of people. I think that's a proper dick move. But saying that, I don't let people push in in a bar.

If I see it, I will be like, dude, wait your turn. Come on. You've got to wait your turn here. And you were having a chat with this lad. And then he ended up standing next to us. And the barman came up to me and uh i just went oh yeah can i get uh you know ordered the drinks and he went to the other guy what are you having to start making his drink and i went dude i've been standing here for a while and he started going

oh what you're gonna call the manager oh manager oh manager yeah and then i can't believe you bought the beer yeah and then i just yeah and then uh he came he he didn't us all night. I can't believe you bought the bait. Yeah, and then I just... You've been at us for four hours. Yeah, and then he came, he then, like... So I can't remember, I sort of went, don't be a dick, and, like, because... Hey, he's been a dick, I'm going to call him on it. So he then walked round the fucking bar. Oh, you're doing that because all the security are there. You're doing that because the security are there.

Exactly. So what are you getting excited for? That is why he's doing it. And look at this date you're in. Yeah. It's worked. Yeah, damn right. He's fucking nailed it Fuck you Mario At the Hippodrome

He's crushed it Because look at the clip you're in I know He got nowhere with me Mark Aye aye He got absolutely nowhere Exactly I get what you're saying

When he come on the bar as well Listen When it's Prosecco o'clock I get it Daddy wanted his Prosecco Yeah when he come Run the bar He was

Because he saw the anger You were in right And he come run casually right He was dying for you To swing for him Dying for him Because you would have Getten bad advantage

You stayed with Strain Me and Mark Fucking pulled you in I wasn't going to hit him But you You start shit With a barman In a casino

I said this to you Last night as well If you remember It's like when you Attack a barman In a casino I said this to you last night As well if you remember It's like when you Attack a villager In Skyrim And the whole fucking village Just attacks you

You're fucking doomed You're on a save loop You have to go back Two save points To fucking But my point is Is alright As much as I did that

I think it's good To have a thing in life Where you're like Alright I'm not going to be bitched In certain situations But you were No no no Alright he bitched in certain situations but you're with no no no

alright he bitched me like I left I didn't get a drink but there's other times in my life and you left and you're hoping you're winning

like a bitch on a podcast yeah yeah you got bitched that bloke that bloke didn't fucking break a sweat where does it end it ends there

where does it no no no but then what do I let someone move into my house and start drinking my water and eating my food.

That's a hell of a departure from that. That's where it ends up. Do you know what I mean? That's where we go. That's what happens. I don't. I think the only way

you can get a victory with them is by staying calm and letting the guy next to you buy you a drink and the minute he gets under your skin he's won his little game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's won his little game and it's yeah, he's won his little game. And it's something I'll definitely have to learn and work on in life. But I do think, I hate it when people work on the basis of, you're going to be, what annoys me about that is that that's his modem of power. I get to serve someone in their G&T and like, I try my hardest not to be a dick to bar staff. It shouldn't be difficult. No, no, no.

It shouldn't take an effort. You're supposed to, dumb motherfucker. No, but you see... I take it on my kid. No, no, no, but you see people at bars, the way they'll treat bar staff. I mean, like, you know, all of that stuff. I think that's horrendous.

That's another human being working on the other end of it come on man you know and they've got to watch other people have a fun night out and get more drunk more fun that can be quite irritating

I imagine so then if you're going to work in a bar in the Hippodrome like I'm just coming up I'm ordering my drink you know yeah what I was confused is

I couldn't pinpoint what it was that was done just does and if your if your mode of power is that you're gonna start being a dick to people through this is your thing oh wow fuck them they're not getting their gg

ha ha ha i've ruined their night it's that man what are you doing in life like what are you doing bro just be nice to people just you know serve people their drink do your job have a chat with everyone every now and then you might make some friends and you might make your job a little bit happier you might be that little bit happier in your job. Except for you, Mario. I hope, like, fuck your Christmas,

fuck everything you stand for. Mario's right, you do talk like a 16-year-old black girl. Yeah, fuck your Christmas in 300 days' time, Mario. I hope everyone who comes into that bar now is like just a, I hope one night like a that bar now is like just

I hope one night like a really rowdy group of lads just turn up and he walks around the bar to them and they're really nice to him and he changes ways

because what are you going to do then Mario throw a red turtle shell at us nah right so Prosecco's in the corner do we agree yeah the Prosecco culture's in the corner

yes drink away but don't have mandras. Natalie's in a WhatsApp group called Prosecco Club. I see that kind of shit. She's such a muggle. Elliot, you want in? Yeah. Muggles are

adults who go to Disneyland oh fuck you adults who go to Disneyland fuck what about curly curls

without kids oh yeah fucking nah kids spoil it dickhead no no

walk into that corner and let Mark have a conversation see this is the thing everybody has to agree but why everybody has to now we'll take some convincing No, no. Walk into that corner and let Mark have a conversation. See, this is the thing. Everybody has to agree. But why? Everybody has to agree. Now we'll take some convincing and I'm going to give you my pitch.

Because, bro. Mark Nelson, this happened to me. I don't know if you know this about me, right? My friend Carl got broke up with. This was 2007. His girlfriend broke up with him. He was about to take her to Florida on a surprise holiday. He told her to book two weeks off for her birthday.

Got surprised for her. Had Florida booked three days before the holiday. She said she'd been cheating on him. Breaks up with him and he was about to take her to florida on a surprise holiday he told her to book two weeks off for her birthday but i surprised her he had florida booked three days before the holiday she said she's been cheating on him breaks up with him he rang me asked if i want to come to florida and i figured it out i figured off the time off work it was a bit tricky and i went to florida with me and my pal on a man date it was the fucking best time mate we're adults in disneyland it's, you know, it's got Universal Studios, Island of Adventure, fucking Epcot, MGM Studios, the fucking international drives,

the tits anyway. You wouldn't want to go there with your pal. You'd want shitty kids there, spoiling it. No, no, bro,

go to Thailand. Like, what are you doing going, standing in a cutesy Mickey Mouse? You're a grown man, have some respect. I'm not cutesy Mickey Mouse you're a grown man have some respect I'm not cutesy

Mickey Mouse you pick and choose what you think there's enough for everybody I went on the fucking Hulk ride take a four year old

on that and then we'll fucking stop I think theme I was going to throw and I like theme parks every now and then I think theme parks

are muggly anyway like Fulton Park and something I think I wouldn't say that I'd say Disneyland but the Universal say I'd say I'd say Disneyland but the Universal Studios I'd go to

that but I get so this is where the thing is right when you go to Florida Universal Studios they're all I always feel like

they're all one in the same so I am lumping in the best theme park in the world essentially with Disney right but even the Disney shit's amazing

so did you have to pretend to be this girl well I didn't put a dress on I I the irony Isn't he shit's amazing. So did you have to pretend to be this girl? What? I had to put a dress on. Aye, aye. The irony being she was cheating on a guy that dressed up as Mickey. I just changed the name.

That's the only cost to me was to change my name on the... So a completely free holiday? Aye. Fucking amazing. Just for spending money. Because when he rang us, right, it was actually his brother that rang us because I grew up with these two brothers on my street

and it was the older brother who I was closest with, Ragus, the same old young'un, our kids, just being in this situation. It's like six in the morning or something. What? Maybe not that early. It was before I started work, that's for sure. And then I was like,

oh, no, I haven't got the holidays, I haven't got the spending money, I can't do it. And I went back started work, that's for sure. And then, and then I was like, oh no, I haven't got the holidays, I haven't got the spending money, I can't do it. And I went back to bed, woke up for work. I was like, what have I just done?

No, I got back immediately and signed up. I see that. I mean, you went, you went not going that way. You wouldn't sit in your pile. I mean like,

I'm not a muggle. Let me explain. I mean like Disneyland Paris, isn't it? Like, if you're, if you're going to America that's just exciting because it's America I'd still say you're a muggle for going to Disneyland over there when you could

go to loads of things you know I mean I'm sure there's like plenty of stuff to do in America it's like loads of coliseums and shit I had tons of but uh even like Disneyland Paris you know like if if you want what are you gonna stand there and watch the parade is that what you're doing with your days yeah I want a fucking decent fairway displays are good what do you want to what are you going to stand there and watch the parade is that what you're doing with your day as an adult yeah I want a decent fairway displays are good what do you want

as an adult no man it's just muggly what I mean is it's muggly you're going to buy your Mickey Mouse

yeah because you're all going to buy your Mickey Mouse hats you're going to stand there in the corner and you're going to go oh look there's

Tinkerbell come on that's muggly that is the definition of muggle no no no what you said there is it's muggly to buy merch no no and it's muggly that is the definition of muggle no no no what you said there is it's muggly

to buy merch no no and it's muggly but the whole thing is just merch the whole Disneyland thing the whole point of it

is just one giant bit of merch if you threw M&M World in Muggle Corner and I was like yeah Disneyland has to go in Muggle Corner

see this is what I like about Disneyland right and the same reason I like the Star Wars franchises I want to see what places do with unlimited money. Yeah.

You know what they do? You've got unlimited money, what are you going to do with your ultimate budget? Like, money's no object, what are you going to build? And Disney is the epitome of that. They need to send a Disney toy into space, man. That's what you do with unlimited money. It is.

Musk raised that game. Your Harry Potter ride ain't gonna cut it oh but dude is it not the MGM Studios in Disney where they've got the Tower of Terror have you been on that thing

is that the thing that's based on the psycho house it's the elevator that drops that just drops

what's happening you're going up the elevator and then it starts moving forward through a corridor and there's like holograms of ghosts and shit in this corridor.

It's like a little bit shiny. See, that's cool. And it's cool as fuck and then it gets to the edge and you look out over the theme park and then it just drops. The elevator drops and you just have this fucking...

Is there not a Spider-Man ride where a hologram of Spider-Man jumps in the car next to you? That's technically not Disney. Well, it's definitely not Disney. That's Island of Adventure, I think. But what else is within Disney? The fucking indoor one.

Who sings that song from Armageddon? Aerosmith. Aerosmith. There's an Aerosmith right in there. I just like Bruce Willis. It's an absolute belt. You're in the studio and there's a video of them in the studio, like, fucking

telling you to get in the limo, and you get in the limo, and it's this underground rollercoaster. That's like, fucking goes over a city and shit, so it like, banks around. It's like, fucking next level shit. You're talking shit. No, no, no, what I'm trying to say is is Disneyland, Paris,

things like that, people, adults getting excited about going to Disneyland and putting a picture up there. You've regressed it to Paris? No, man. Who's going to regress it and, like, oh, watching DuckTales and stuff? You know, like, I saw someone the other day just put a picture,

and it was them and his missus went to Disneyland, and they went and met, like, Mickey Mouse and all of this stuff. And I just thought, that's muggly. How is that not muggly? To stand there in a line to meet someone

dressed in a costume of Mickey Mouse. Right, right. That's muggly. There's definitely muggles at Disneyland. That specific thing is. But I don't think

going to Disneyland is. I think as an adult going to Disneyland is the height of muggle. Because I didn't do any of that shit where I'm like fucking muting Mickey

because what's the point you want a photo fucking Buzz Lightyear and if you did it would be ironic right and it would still be muggly because you're still

part of the problem if you did it I've always said that about mugglery but we didn't fuck any of that shit we just went on a bunch of sick rides

and ate good food I should take a picture where like whoever's dressed as Mickey or Buzz Lightyear is bending over and you pretend to bum him like that's

that's a funny photo or he's got his head under his arm having a cigarette eye eye that's a eye because in his

times like me doing stuff Mark Nelson was essentially the cast of Toy Story yeah

yeah just getting your daughter to take a picture of you pretending you're Woody Donald Duck getting your daughter to take a picture of you pretending to be Woody Donald Duck with a sign that says

hashtag me too Wiley Clarity going off the cliff as he holds up the sign so what do you think Mark you think it should go on Muggle Corner no I don't

I reckon there's's not only for kids no I reckon there's magic in it for kids right but as an adult you'd love to see your kids at Disneyland for sure right

but also you'd also love them to be in a crush for fucking two hours while you're getting blasted aye aye I don't think it should go in

sorry sorry Elliot there's definitely Muggles in Disneyland for sure and they are stood there getting a fucking

photograph of me I think it's the most muggly thing in the world and I want people to tweet in about how muggly this is because it is the height of muggle

alright well yeah people are entitled to fucking tweet and tell us if I'm wrong because I mean I was kicking off at the podcast

when Eric wouldn't put something in I think this is like you think people are screaming at the podcast now Disneyland is the put something in. I think this is like that. It makes me mad. You think people are screaming at the podcast now. Disneyland is the height of muggle. And I know there'll be people there and I know you'll be going, no, it's not.

I had a great time when I went there and met Cinderella. You're being a muggle. There's nothing wrong with being a muggle, but you're being a muggle. And it's such a weird thing for me to go, oh, it's not muggly because I've done it. That's not what I'm saying, right? It's like one of the original things I've ever said is like, just because something's popular doesn't make a muggly blowjobs are popular yeah like you're not gonna get a blowjob now what am i doing yeah it's like if something just do it in the corner if something feels awesome and it is awesome you're not gonna be like oh but people are gonna think i'm a muggle yeah you can get pretend money at disneyland you can trade in

actual money with like Disney dollary do's they're definitely cashing in on Muggles for sure they're not denying that Muggles are that's Muggly to go somewhere with money and go let's buy a pretend currency I mean technically there's no gold behind that currency either because I've watched

again another YouTube video about it so you might be better off with the Disney money in the future he keeps his Disney money in the walls I invest it all in Bitcoin great so we're going to put

well actually this is either going to be a long podcast or this will have to be the last Muggle corner

I didn't make this the last one because we've got gigs to get to as well so this is very appropriate actually

Muggles agree to disagree you know when you're in a row with someone let's agree to disagree. You know, when you're in a row with someone. Right, okay. Let's agree to disagree. That's not agreeing on anything.

Aye, that's true. Aye. That is you pretentiously going, well, I still think you're wrong. Aye. And I'm going to leave it now and walk away with my head held high that I'm right,

even though I didn't persuade you otherwise. You know, don't agree to disagree. Continue pitching why you think you're right if you're not sure don't bail don't back out you've either arrogantly gone

you're talking shite and I know I'm right but I can't be arsed dealing with you anymore or you've completely folded in your own argument so there's no it's proper

so when I ask people agree to disagree I'll be like no I still believe you're wrong yeah yeah if you're talking to a proper thicko though

like and don't both look at me like I can't even imagine what that must be like you're chatting to like imagine you were trying to explain to me like i don't know how something is saying the alphabet i know how the alphabet works it's just letters in an order in it and uh how many in one order and how's it decided oh don't make me do the alphabet man do the alphabet um

A B C no no no the baby alphabet what's the baby alphabet abacadabra abacadabra okay I don't know

A B C D E F G H I J K M L N O P yes I got it wrong Emil Emil E-F-G H-I-J-K M-L-N-O-P M-L-N-O-P Yes Am I going wrong? Am I lame? Am I lame? L-M-L-O-P He just heard the noise

A-C-D-E-F-G H-I-J-K M-L I can't say that letter man You know what it is? It's a cool letter It's a very tricky letter Oh god

It's like when You letter. Oh, God. It's like when you don't know the words to a song, but you'll just mumble it anyway. Like, my love ain't got no money. He's got his trombolies. That's not the words, but that's what you hear. So you say trombolies. So you just heard the other kids doing the alphabet.

And you went, M-L-O-P. Q-R-S-T-E-W-X-Y-Z. What is it? Now I know my ABC. What grades did you get at uni? I got a couple of A's, a B, a C, and then an M-L-M-O. You got an M-L-M-O? M-L-M-O.

Tickle me, M-L-M-O. Do you know what? The alphabet's kind of redundant now because we've got the keyboard. What are you talking about? It's the entire basis of life. Oh, it's the entire basis of life. Oh, we could have evolved. It's the entire basis of language. It's the cornerstone of our language is the alphabet.

You can't deny that. I'm not denying it. What I'm saying is the QWERTY keyboard yes which Elliot I'm going to equip you

with some information so you can finish your point the QWERTY keyboard came into play because people got too fast at typing on typewriters so they muddled up the keys to make people type slower

so that the fucking keys didn't get stuck they just muddled them up to make people type slower but it carried on into computers where it doesn't matter you could put them

ABCD it wouldn't matter now it's just a relic it's a leftover tradition like not even tradition a leftover relic that's carried on into our keyboards continue with it doesn't matter about the alphabet we've got qwerty now i thought i thought the reason we had the qwerty keyboard was because of the way you put your hands on the keyboard those were the it's close it's the letters that you probably use the most so you type with them one so it's like that's why x and y and stuff is down there because it's the letters that you probably use the most so you type with them one so that's why X and Y and stuff is down there because it's like that's why Q's not next to you

sure I'm not going to be using that's why Q's next to W instead of U alright yeah no I know what I'm saying but why would you assume something and then just like totally confidently

battle it because sometimes without knowing I'm having flashbacks to the bar last time no I'm just trying to be funny with it

like so that like on a query keyboard there's like three big buttons like three big keys there's

like a return key yeah there's a space bar and then the big massive one in the corner MLMO

very few words there's no word you can spell, MLMO. Very few words. There's no word you can spell without MLMO. It's the way my accent works. I think, don't get me wrong, the alphabet's done a lot for us. The alphabet's done a lot. It's done a lot.

And credit where credit's due. Just giving us names. Yeah, but don't you think like letters and stuff imagine you had to try to explain to aliens like language

how does it come down to aliens coming like we're gonna have to agree to disagree yes

belt on right so so to agree to disagree is to pretentiously back down on your argument and let them know as you depart that you think they're wrong and this is the thing the only other way you can agree to disagree is on

something subjective like you can say to me which you wouldn't but somebody could say I think Dave Chappelle's shit and I'd be like well I'd disagree with that but I wouldn't say but somebody could say, I think Dave Chappelle's shit. And I'd be like, well, I disagree with that. But I wouldn't say, oh, we'll have to agree to disagree. I'd be like, oh, I disagree. Like, I think your opinion on Dave Chappelle's wrong. You're quite entitled to your opinion, but I'm

not going to agree to disagree. I'm not going to agree to disagree on that one. I'm going to disagree with that reluctantly later. It's just a good way to sort of be like, I'm done with this argument. It's a muggly way to do it. It's definitely muggly. It's definitely muggly way to do it yeah but it's a it's definitely muggly it's definitely are you gonna not put it in just because i didn't put disneyland in because that's gonna get your enemies no i'm not i'm not gonna do that like i'll put it in because i reckon i reckon you're probably right on it um yeah i'll allow it in right so we're

gonna put muggles in the corner for agreeing to disagree uh there is muggles in disneyland that's for certain but i don't think going to Disneyland without kids is muggly you can have yourself a fucking bill there and the one that you put in Prosecco Culture

Prosecco Culture 100% in so have yourselves a good minute in the corner and it's a shame we've got a few more but we've got stuff to do

and so have other people they don't want to be stuck on my podcast for hours so Mark I want to tell you something about your dad before I start

sticking shit to your father I'll put John Nelson do you have anything to plug well I'm doing Glasgow Comedy Festival

I'm doing my solo show at The Stand on the 8th and 9th of March 8th and 9th of March in Glasgow let's have a look at this so 9th of March whatth and 9th of March In Glasgow Let's have a look at this So 9th of March

What time are you on? I think it's half 8 The show starts So I'm on at Yes Bar It's 7 People can come and watch me 7 o'clock They could

They could double up Yeah Come to see you Straight after You could have a Yeah There you go So I'm at Yes Bar

At 7 o'clock on the 9th You're in 8.30 On the 8th, 9th and 10th Just the 8th and 9th Just the 8th and 9th Al Just the 8th and 9th. Alate, have you got anything coming? Yeah, I'll be doing another preview at Top Secret

on, that's the comedy club, on March 1st and on April the 5th where it's just going to be a new start. I'm also going to do some stuff at Angel Comedy Club, I think, and something down in Bristol as well where I'm just working on new material

and I'll be at Punchdrunk I hear we've got that April yes that's going to be a great time and yeah there's Punchdrunk in March as well

everybody that listens to the podcast that's aware of Punchdrunk make sure you get to those gigs I'm going to plug something else as well I've plugged this

before on the podcast I've got a new special coming out but my old special How To Be Happy is available from download on my website and somebody downloaded it

the other day and sent us a message going I've listened to the podcast for all, I think it was 72 episodes at the time, for all 72 episodes so I thought

because I've had so much free content I would actually buy some of your work and I worked out that he spent something like six pence an episode. So if you've listened to the podcast regularly go to my website,

download me special and also it's been an expensive episode but I'm proud of it it's a good special I like it one last thing as well

Bose headphones if you're listening send in some stuff please send me the new headphones we've been selling them by the truckload

Mark Nelson your dad your dad couldn't find a pair of tights so he did a bank house with a football sock over his head.

Kai, your dad hasn't got the balls to go get his lawnmower back after he loaned it to the neighbour. Elliot, your dad taped Diana's funeral.

On his handy cam. He's funeral. On his handicap. He's there. Elliot, your dad can't pat his head and rub his tummy, but he can pat the dog while rubbing one off. Mark, your dad reckons he knew the cry twins. Kai, your dad shaves his pubes with your mum's razor. Your dad's glasses steamed up when he went in to answer us.

Kai, your dad does airsoft on the weekend and reckons he could get into the SAS. Elliot, your dad's favourite Spice Girl was sporty Mark your dad auditioned for the part of Captain Phillips and although he didn't get the part if the casting director saw the way he reacted when he got turned down he would have been a shoo-in

Mark, your dad took your mum to a swingers party way he reacted when he got turned down. He would have been a shoe-in. Mark, your dad took your mum to a swingers party and just sat in the corner. Elliot, your dad's underwear's got the days of the week printed on them. Elliot, your dad grew his hair like Rapunzel so he could get the postman into his bungalow.

Mark, your dad still has Lee Rigby as his profile pic. Oh, no. Oh, no. We've done 9-11, we've done Madeleine McCann getting fired into space, and now I'm fucking leaving. These are your dad jokes. Oh, that's my last dad joke.

Oh, fuck, he's gone. Oh, mate. I think I can come back from that. Mark, and I'm shooting turn here, but we need to come back from that. Your dad wasn't the same orgy as Dwight York and he thinks Harvey Plank is.

Harvey Puth Kai your dad spells his name with three MLMOs I think should we fire up a cold war your dad he has his clothes he's still wearing them I think she'll fire up a cold war. Your dad irons his clothes while he's still wearing them. Your dad paid full price for a DFS sofa.

Your dad clasps his hands together and skips through his arms all the way to the ice cream van. Your dad supports West Brom. Your dad shaved his pussy with a broken bottle. Your dad still plays Snake. Your dad wears an engagement ring. Oh, man. Boys, thank you for joining the podcast. I can't wait for the tweets after that one.

Send all your complaints to at Elliot Steele. Mark, thanks for joining us on the podcast. Thank you, it was an absolute pleasure. You are the final member of the WhatsApp group known as the Goat Gang to guest on the podcast. It's nice to have complete success. Absolute pleasure. That was so much fun. Yes, and sorry boys, but I'm going to LA tomorrow.

Oh, yeah. Laters, mate.