Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Ep 4.21 Excavating Conversations

Episode Date: May 26, 2021

(But really 4.20) As a nod to the original Sloss and Humphries Podcasts old Muggins and Cream stop for spliff breaks and by complete coincidence get really silly. This will go down as one of our favourite podcasts whether people enjoy it or not. Please indulge us...

Here it is, your 4.20 podcast. Belated, but as promised, Daniel is out of quarantine, so I got to go around and visit. We rolled a spliff. We recorded this podcast. Feel free to join in if you want. If you want to pause this now, roll yourself a joint. We've got a couple of smoking breaks within the podcast. You can get high with us as we go. It's probably going to make a lot more sense to you if you're on our level. We'll have a good laugh making this. This is probably the most fun I've had recording one of the Sloss and Humphries on the Road podcasts and I've got to level with you, we probably

had more fun than you're about to but don't hold that against us, we hadn't seen each other in a while and some of you have survived the Amsterdam podcast so if you're still here after those it isn't that bad but it was a laugh, I'm going to listen to it as new with you because I can't remember what we're talking about.

I hope you enjoy it. And like I said before, feel free to join in getting high. And we'll be back on Thursday with a bonus episode on Patreon. Sloss and Humphreys on the road. Muggins and cream, cream and muggins. Straight thuggin', livin' the dream. That's our intro. Fuckin' muggles.

Tickling the clit inside your head to make you laugh. Woo-hoo! Ha-ha-ha! they said it can't be done are we in the same seats that's hack aww muggles accidental rim job

in the park kiss kiss kiss or might just be cynical just muggled it up on fucking mugglepedia where have you been since 9-11

right so just day test test test one two penis penis penis vagina vagina vagina Clitoris clitori Clitorous

Clit Clit Clit Clit Clit Bean Bean Red helmet

Man in a boat Yeah I'll just turn this up Aye Shall we just keep that in Oh so you're actually recording there I was doing a soundcheck since we absolutely

nailed soundcheck what other euphemisms for clips is there oh I haven't done euphemisms in years oh euphemisms I wasn't okay my

I've got some I've got some old ones on record aye that's how old they are I've got them on vinyl back when we used to if you're new to the podcast, we used to record this on vinyl.

I've got I Love Your Butt on cassette. Yeah, yeah. I don't get that reference. I Love Your Butt. Oh, I love you. So I genuinely thought you said, I love your butt. And I was like, that must have been like a big vinyl record in the 80s or something.

I Love Your Butt by the Beatles. Yeah, all right. have been like a big vinyl record in the 80s or something that I just I love your butt by the Beatles the whole time you thought that's what that game was I love your butt and also I love your butt but God do I hate the way you to be fair that would be a good way to like see if you want to bring something up with your partner

like if they were annoying you you just go hey I love your butt butt and yeah yeah I love your butt

and despite how much I love your butt it still does my fucking nutting when you don't towel off the bath and then when they're like fucking

it's because I'm not going to towel off the bath for the towel that I'm wearing. You're like, baby, baby, I love your butt. I love your butt. I love your butt. I'm not angry at you. I love your butt.

And she's rightfully going, who the fuck towels off the bath? She's like, Daniel, you're a fucking monster. You make us towel off the bath. I don't want any of your bath water in my bath water. That's not I don't want to smell like a girl.

We use different scented products in the bath obviously. She uses things that smell like roses and I bathe in like links and it smells like oil and winter foxes. Winter foxes? Winter foxes?

Baby, I love your butt. No, no. When you propose to me, this has fine print. This has got small print. You've got to towel off the bath. That's my sickness. That's my sickness,

is I need you to towel off the bath. I think I meant towel off the shower. And I think the only reason we used to do that at Garscoob was because it was underground and you had to get rid of the moisture somewhere. I never toweled off the bath. I think I meant towel off the shower. And I think the only reason we used to do that at Garscoop was because it was underground and you had to get rid of the moisture somewhere. I never, I never toweled off the shower. Was that something

you added when I left? You were like, now he's gone. I can start living like civilised humans and towel down the shower. No, it was a rule we had

while you were living there. Just nice to find out that you didn't do it. Of course I didn't towel down the shower. Oh my God. it's nice to find out that you didn't do it of course I didn't tell them to shower oh my god what is there any rules like

you've enforced in the host to make your experience better that you're like am I being a bit of an Nazi here by putting that rule

well I mean I've got one rule that we've not been able to enforce yet but I know I'm not going to be able to keep it well I think I will got one rule that we've not been able to enforce yet but I know I'm not going to be able to keep it well I think I will

is eventually at one point in the future whenever we get a dog right I am absolutely a no dog on the bed man that's the camp I fall into dogs aren't allowed on beds dogs aren't allowed on couches

dogs aren't human beings so dogs don't get to spend time on human being furniture if a dog gets in my bed I'm fucking stripping the bed immediately there's a fucking dog

on my bed people are probably fucking losing their shit over here oh no no no because there's two cats there's people that sleep with dogs

and you know what their beds smell like their dogs you know what as well I wouldn't get on my bed with my trainers on because I've been outside with them

it's just that it's not a day with a dog it's a day with the fact that they probably haven't wiped their feet the only thing they'll throw back

at you and this is kind of what I was arguing but you let Ray on the bed and I go

but you can't stop cats doing anything also inside cat predominantly inside cat mostly they're staying

on the deck but only when it's dry you can train a fucking dog the two dogs I had grown up neither of those

dogs neither of those dogs... Neither of those dogs were allowed in the kitchen. And they knew they weren't allowed in the kitchen. Like, at some point, they'd stick their head in the door and my mum would go, the fuck do you think you're doing?

They'd be like, oh, I guess I pushed a boundary there. Like, dogs can be taught to not get in the fucking bed. It's a choice to have your dog in the bed with you. And it's not a choice I want to have. But, Cara, I'm away for most months of the year.

There's no way I can enforce any fucking rule on animals. Whatever Cara's rules for animals are going to be... So do you then not have to go, look, we can do this, but will you just think it's a solid? Do you have to negotiate it? I probably will, but the dog... I'm never going to win that. You've seen her with animals.

I'm just going to have to have... A dog in the bed. Or alternatively, like some sort of weird, oh no, because then the only alternative is to get a fucking crib for the dog and I refuse to be one of those cunts. Whatever happened to kennels in every single

fucking bit of... Oh, all the stories about kennels. Aye, in pop culture, right, in cartoons, in like, other cartoons, there's kennels in every garden culture right in cartoons in like other cartoons there's kennels in every garden aye and then

you get to real life and you go has anyone got an outdoor prison house for their dog no because that's

exactly what they hide they're not is it just because like in the UK and it's freezing and it would be torture to put a dog out in the cold

but in other states in America they probably just do have a nice little outhouse for their animal is it an American and it would be torture to put a dog out in the cold but in another state in America they probably just do have a nice little outhouse for their animal is it an Americanism that we just assumed was maybe it is

I'm genuinely I'm genuinely not sure but I also think like if I was to suggest as I have suggested I care not to carry before like that's like I might as well say

should we send right to Auschwitz do I just while we're away when we go you know when we go to you know when we go to Portugal Ray to Auschwitz do I just while we're away when we go you know when we go to you know when we go to Portugal in September do you mind if I just

send Ray to Auschwitz and she's like we'll get some torture tools in there hang them up with a kind of wall I'll tell you what I'll give her to the neighbours

but what I'll do is I'll just punt her over the fence I'll not drop her out the door and seeing the size of her I will have to take a fucking massive

is that alright that's how she looks at me if I suggest a care do you think that's because of the cold And seeing the size of her, I will have to take a fucking massive... It's all right. That's how she looks to me if I suggest a character. Do you think that's because of the cold? No, Cara... Do you think that's because of isolation? Cara values animal life above human life. That's what that's about.

Yeah. Okay. You got it, babe. Aye. I hope that drops out once she's a mother. I'd fucking I'd fucking

I'd hate to bump into her like I'm just coming home from somewhere and like she's just walking out with a fucking pram and I'm like oh my and it's just

Ray in the pram and the kids at home in the back having a bath I love that you're definitely right because you were saying like

if you suggested putting the dog in the kennel she'd go nuts when Sop would stay now he stayed in his van aye just because on your birthday

all the beds would be used he just took you sleeping back out of the van you know after you went put the dog in the van yeah she'd fucking lose her mind but the minute you can

can you put this war hero in the van aye aye of course aye he slept in worse fuck him

he's a war hero it's a war hero. It's a guy. We say the same thing about dogs, though. They're dogs. They were born outside most of the time. Before we go any further. We're going to get high?

Aye. Because it's what? It's the season four of this podcast, which I guess is a season. I've got no, there's no real logic to the seasons, by the way. Yeah. They were the start of a new tour.

Aye. And then it got fucked up on season three because season three just didn't end. Aye. That tour went on for fucking ever.

Oh, and you can hear in my voice. Like, imagine you're looking at Netflix, right? And you're like,

season one, 12 episodes. Season two, 13 episodes. Season three, 170 episodes. And the, wait,, 12 episodes. Season two, 13 episodes. Season three, 170 episodes. Wait, and hold on. They're really sad and boring for 30 in the middle.

And then people are just going, no, no, you've really got to stick with it because in season four it gets good. Just see it out. You've got to really get through season three. Can I skip it? No, they don't remember. In season three, I had so many pre-season breaks. Aye.

I even had the spin-off series when we went to America. That was season three. But I was like, USA, episode one. Aye. Oh, yeah. That was when I broke my leg. Oh, when you didn't break your leg. When it were wee.

You mean when you acted like you broke your leg until you found out your leg was fine. It was sore, though. It was a sore leg. Now, let's go and have some medicinal marijuana. No, we need to finish that. Because it's season four and this is episode 20. Yes. So it's the 420 episode.

It's actually episode 21 because Bart did an episode but it was technically a bonus yeah that's technically a bonus because he's not he's not Muggins

nah thanks mate no I didn't no no no I felt the intent like it's like we love Bart

and this isn't a slight on Bart but he's not Muggins this is what the subtext the subtext was sure was a novel

sure it was a love letter enjoy Kai's last cookie of the thought alright it says in a millisecond what were we talking

about again nothing important the fucking catchphrase of every stoner what was I saying I fucking love it I love it when it happens

you know when sometimes when someone's talking let's just say like Garth right and he's in the middle of a belt of thought

and he's onto something and he's like he's like quite poetically in that right and he's onto something and then there's that beat where you're like he's thinking about

what the next thing he's gonna say is and then you can see like them lose their grip on it and then they go what we're talking about again aye it's for me that's the sign in the sesh when about again aye it's for me that's the sign

in the sesh when it's over that beat for me that's when I start trying to fucking grab onto the wall I'm always like right

let's figure out what we're talking about don't just don't just change the subject from here let's go back and get it right and you dive back in

and you start talking about the last thing you remember talking about you know what that led to you love excavating conversations excavating conversations. Excavating conversations when you're stoned is great.

Aye. That's a good name for this episode, Excavating Conversations. You know how this is going to sound like football chat, and I promise you it's not. I know we've done two podcasts in a row where there was football chat. It's going to start off as football chat, and then it's not going to be a promise, right?

We're just going to wean yous onto football. It's the last day of the Premier League today, football chat and then it's not going to be a promise right we're just going to wean yous onto football it's it's it's the last day of the Premier League today and I mean the matches have kicked off just now but we're just

we're going to watch the second half because we're delayed because you were doing your boot club thing and it's fine I'm just hoping

Chelsea finish in the top four built that boot club by the way the so there's the reason I'm excited about football

is because Chelsea could finish in the Champions League and we should. And it all depends on the points at the end of the season. I really wish the Premier League had its own Dumbledore just at the end of every season

just came out and just handed out random points for no reason. So it's like the full Premier League happens and then just a a beard guy comes out and he goes and an extra 20 points to Chelsea

for bravery during the transfer window and minus 15 to young Arsenal for cheatery and country of the highest order and just you know

a little bit at the end you just get like a graphic of the league changing where Sam will go bop bop bop just going up

a couple of levels or whatever look we all know who won it actually and then you come out and just get like a graphic of the league changing where Sam will go bop, bop, bop and just get up a couple of levels or whatever. Look, we all know who won it actually and then you come out and just get fucking... That's always the best bit. Dumbledore rigged it every season so that Gryffindor won. He was clearly a fucking... I think he had a horse in the race. I think it's a betting scandal.

You reckon? I reckon he was betting on Gryffindor. Because the teachers absolutely would have been gambling on it on which house came first every year you know that was happening in the staff room it was really changing hands

it was like covering the woods aye do you reckon it probably went what's the fucking place beside Hogwarts

where they go for Christmas Pigwatt no it's like the not Diagon Alley that's in London Diagon Alley Diagon in London Diagon Alley Diagon Alley Diagon Alley

Diagon Alley Diagon Alley that's what it is Diagon Alley it's Diagon Alley Diagon Alley aye I've seen this word so many times now

it's not a word anymore it's his first old meeting oh my god I'm so stoned Diagon Alley Diagon Alley I've seen this word so many times now it's not a word anymore. Oh my god, I'm so stoned. Diagon Alley. Diagon Alley. It's like diagonally. That's the pun.

So please stop saying that. For the love of fucking god. There are people listening to this in traffic losing their minds. Guys, I'm high and I'm stuck on a hamster wheel. And on that hamster wheel is printed Diagon Alley. Fine. That's the pun. Just flashing past the eyes.

My point is there's the other place beside Hogwarts where they go for Christmas. And I reckon that's where they also fucking bet. They must bet on who's going to come in first. Which houses. What do you mean they're going for Christmas for the night out? The staff night out? Well, yeah. Hogsmeade. There it is. night oud well yeah Hogsmeade

there it is Hogsmeade Hogsmeade is the area next door well it's not next door it's not even ringing bells is this just like is this part of the book

or is this like fan fiction yeah it's I'm going to say it's that's not what fan fiction is no it's not it's the third one

they're allowed to go to Hogsmeade in the third year of Hogwarts but I mean I told you this, I told you this was good. I told you this was going to start off a football chat and end up with something else. Did I? I'm a man of a fucking word.

What was I saying? Callback? What were you saying? Let's excavate this conversation. You were saying... Hogsmeade. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's in the third book.

It's in the third... I'm asking is it all the students or is it the faculty faculty faculty are betting on which house comes in first

every year 100% and then I bet Dumbledore's like I don't participate in it because I can't give out bonus points mind you

all the teachers can give out points I reckon he's got McGonagall putting bets on Forum I reckon they're not going to accept his bets because he's got them I reckon he's tipping off

he's tipping people off he's like Peaky Blinders he's going to go out into the street and just blow dust into a horse's face I've not seen Peaky Blinders

so I don't get that reference it's because they blessed the horse he blesses the horse with this thing it's like the gypsy curse or something it's the opposite of a curse

blessing blessing and people see them getting into the horse so people start betting on the horse but they've like fucking

rigged the I think this is how it goes anyway it sounds like he's blowing coke up a horse's nose

they run a bookies so they're getting people to think that that horse is going to

win because of this fucking ritual oh no okay and then that horse

doesn't win and they rake it in because of the bookies McGonagall's running that

kind of racket oh so she's giving like Gryffindor more points oh no Slytherin more points

early doors or Hufflepuff probably Ravenclaw get people betting on the front runners and then at the end of the season that's when fucking

Dumbledore comes in and be like oh no so bonus 5 points to Neville Longbottom because fucking because of his long bottom

long bottom by name long bottom by nature as for days it just goes on and on and on long this bottom this bottom is long the other thing

I wanted to tell you right you see I've got those new the changeable weights let's see oh they're good they are good

aren't they they're really good I've seen them at ricketers aye so for those... Oh, that's a transformer. Aye.

Optimus Prime your life. So it's... Oh, I mean... I wish I was like you and I could just steamroller over it. It's too big. It's too big. I can't run it.

Which is not the point of a steamroller. The four of them would come out too big went around it what you did what that's a steam dodger I was thinking

I'll be dodging it I was thinking a steam dodger you fucking daft cunt you took a billet I went to that you're a fucking steam dodger are you like

steam dodger it sounds like some sort of slur but I'm not sure who it is you fucking steam you do like you do like I'm a sure who it is. You fucking steam. Yeah, you do like that in the spot. You steam dodge it.

Oh, maybe that's what gay people call straight people then. Steam dodge us. It's the rocker we do. That's because we don't have a gay steam room. Because we don't go, aye, we're a bunch of steam dodgers. It's if the steam's the reason. You fucking steam dodger you fucking

steam dodging hetero there you go some content for our LBGTQ plus what did I get it right

diagonally anyway so these weights diagon alley Did I get it right? Diagonally. Anyway, so these weights... Diagonally. Diagonally. Diagonally. Sorry, these weights. We'll excavate this conversation. Aye.

These weights, they go from anywhere from 5 kilograms to 25, and you just rotate a thing, and then it picks up more or less of the weights, depending on how much, and it's just such a great bit of equipment. Just give it a little twist and it's a completely different weight. Aye.

But, so when you've got all of them on, it's 25 kilos each, right? But when they're full of water, that's them deflated. Aye. No, no, these are actual, I'm going to assume lead. I'm going to assume lead.

It's probably steel. I think lead's heavier and denser. They've got a lot. It's got to be a dense. Elliot, steel's much denser. Fair point. You've won this argument. Bravo.

So the max that goes is 25 kilos. So they get delivered, right? And I open it up. These are fucking perfect. These are great. Cara, can you take the bases and can you also take the key and open up the studio for me while I carry both of these

25 kilo weights with me? She goes, yeah, of course. So I'm carrying them over and she goes, are they heavy? I'm like, yeah, they're 25 kilos.

She goes, why don't you just turn them down? Ah! And I was like, oh no! Right? Honestly. Oh!

It wasn't like, that's the punchline. No, no. That would be a funny joke no no so she goes why don't you just turn it down and I go

I went what because right here's the thing you know when somebody's being stupid right and you catch them in it

but they don't know they're being stupid yet right it's like seeing a deer in the wild or like if you caught me trying to put fucking french toast

in the toaster or something and you're like oh he's deeing one of his feet yeah you don't it's like when you see a deer in the wild you or something. And you're like, oh, he's eating one of his things. It's like when you say a day in the wild, you stay still,

you don't startle it, and you let the stupid happen for as long as you can, because then it's funnier, right? So I'm just like, huh? She goes, just turn them down. I go,

if I turn them down, I won't be bringing all the weights with me. She's like, but what? And I'm like, what do you think happens here? And she oh no and i was like uh-huh she was like that's it she lived in that world for a moment no that was her reality just that she thought you could turn the way to doing not only that she goes oh i'm on to something there though and i'm like i oh so like that's what

nasa's after like you can't you can't be phoning up a fucking patent office being like oh i've got a brilliant idea for you here right it's uh weightless weights all right that obviously sounds class how do you do it no no that's not a bad work i'm just but the idea I'm just suggesting magic I just 20 points to Cara at the end of the season for suggesting magic how's it done you fucking tell me

weightless weight make it happen I get all the money like man if I was trying to explain to her I was like man if that technology existed

do you think they're wasting it on weight right right they come up they come up with that we could probably fucking they could make something

lose all mass how we can get stuff to other planets easily so easy it's gonna be really easy to get them off the planet

like you could actually fucking start moving into bars nah Jeff I wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna use it on rocket ships

I don't wanna use it on satellites I don't wanna use it on airplanes fucking how class would it be if weights didn't weigh so much just some sort of

oh like some sort of Tony wants to get buff get a la Techno Hymn I actually did that then alright take his pig shit like that's the sort of thing where I mean I've started

wearing condoms again gonna have to fucking like at that point That's the sort of thing where, I mean, I've started wearing condoms again. Going to have to fucking, like at that point, like there's so many, there's some points. You're kind of like, I don't think my DNA is strong enough to do the heavy lifting.

Aye. At some point, I'm going to have to pay a fertility doctor to lie to Cara to tell them that I'm infertile. So we have to adopt I lied about it until I was just pregnant

keep telling that coming along fine six months in still got a flat stomach nearly there what just to confuse her just you know

quench the itch just also no symptoms no morning sickness all of her friends think she's a liar because she is a liar but she doesn't know she's a liar still getting her period

I think she'd work out I know she thought for a second there were weightless weights available but I don't think I can fucking make her think for six months that she was pregnant when she wasn't pregnant this is actually just a big game you play. You're like,

she's so stupid, I reckon I can get away with this. Just tell her she's pregnant with fertility doctors. No. So what did you do? Just, no, just pay a fertility doctor

to tell her that I'm infertile so that we have to adopt because I'd rather take a gamble than risk raising anything with... The fertility doctor will be like, get paid a fortune to tell her the truth. Does he not know?

I do reckon. He doesn't know, does he? You're infertile. I reckon, I reckon, I reckon I'm infertile. Do you reckon you've got swimmers? I don't know. I don't know either. That's what I'm asking.

Do you reckon you've got swimmers? I don't know either that's what I'm asking do you reckon you've got swimmers wait they're not like they've never had a chance aye

well no but they're still they're swimming now they're there they might be I'll just left foot it's never going to happen aye I think

I think I've maybe he's not I've done too much to my body would it break your heart no like there would there would obviously be like a bit a pang of sadness no he's not I've done too much to my body would it break your heart no like there would obviously

be like a bit a pang of sadness of like oh nice that was never loose aye alright that's something that would have been nice

that was part of it that I was looking forward to I think I would have been good at that aye but then also but at least you see the life through the lens of a new person

but then there's also there's so many other ways to have kids and then I'll just do I'll just do one of those and then none of those are like a lesser form of fatherhood

to me so would you like would you do would you be good if you couldn't have kids in any respect oh if I couldn't have any kids

oh god if like you didn't pass adoption because like it's a fucking rigorous process it's like you don't you don't guarantee that you're going to get a child

out of the adoption system I'll just stay with them I'll get a baby. I'm a wealthy white man. If I want a baby, I'll get a baby. I don't mean that in an Epstein way. I don't mean I'm going to... I mean in an adoption...

They're going to give me. You think they will? I reckon so Either that or I'll just Well that'll be like You're always away Like the home life's A bit of a tricky one

Like your career might get in the way Of the adoption process Well no Because by that point I was going back The reason we worked so hard For ten years Was so that when we're

Ready to have kids I can just take it all off Aye Like that's why I say When it does happen I'll be a I'll be a stay at home dad Oh it'll be class It'll be great I-at-home dad. Oh, it'd be class.

It'd be great. I had fucking, I put life doing for a bit for it. Aye. Be a good little house bitch. Aye, keep the place nice and clean

and that room and I don't have to complain on that. Oh, they're fucking, honestly, as soon as she finishes away, fucking give her the beans.

Oh, he's had his one ragged. Fucking, I'm playing this, ragged I'm playing this I'm playing this I'm having a go on that that looks class

I reckon I reckon the first I reckon like every stage of it it's like god it's obviously good and bad points right

I reckon obviously I reckon the first year as a dad not great because the baby for the first six months does not give a shit who you are

like you're not I've just been hanging out with Brett and Mary's kids oh yeah how is it how is it fucking mate Mary's my pal

he laughs at you and that you don't need to do much I like you know if you just let go of your lips and shake your head

from side to side and go like that that is class though that is I've got people on the podcast who couldn't see that because I was

that is you change the tone of your voice I mean this is this is great I get it man the kids are like woo like you know

yeah yeah Brett and Mari enjoy it as well class I love this kids love it aye not just kids

for everyone grown men I think the only audience it's not for is podcasts I think that's the one I reckon if you gave Sonny a podcast

of this no he probably wouldn't would he nah I just think back to that it's hard on the visuals

isn't it you need to see my lips they're up in front of my face when I'm doing it his lips are so long Na. Dwi'n meddwl, dwi'n gweld yn y fizualau, mae'n rhaid i mi weld fy nglyfrau arnyn nhw ar fy ffwrdd. Mae'r glwyddiadau'n dda iawn, maen nhw'n mynd o'r un ochr o'i llawr, o'i llawr i'w gwrth. Dwi'n gweld yn y llawr, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwybod, a'i gwy I tapped on the shoulder with my own kiss. What were we talking about again? Oh, who cares? Oh, noises like you make the babies. Wait, what? All right.

He was laughing his tits off, man. All right. I'm like, oh, great. I was just performing a gig and I'm going, this is going to kill the night. This is working here. I get on stage and I'm like, oh, it's nice to be back in that land and the fucking audiences

did you have your first gig? aye where? in the Slot House in Liverpool how was it? mint class

basement gig how many people were there it was like half full maybe it felt like more though it was weird because people were sat in groups small numbers

big laugh aye small numbers big laugh it was you know hang on the best way to describe it is just a gig that isn't sold out it's still quite full yeah i mean the guy still tickets on the door you look around you can this is just a nice gig that just isn't sold out so they i mean but but it is sold out it's just spread out because that's i'm grass on them for

breaking regs i think oh no man like Marlene has been complaining about not complaining but like talking about the tour that we're about to embark on like because every venue has a different capacity allowance for some reason like there's not one straight thing

across the board some are allowed to run at 50 some are allowed to run at fucking 80 some are like we can run at 100 it's like aye and that's something just like if you can meet up between each group of people

fit as many as they can within them parameters well man it's all got it'll look we're on the cusp

of normality here or at least we are it felt like that at least here in the UK because you get your when do you get your vaccine

on the 11th of June so I'm in Newcastle away and then I'm going to drive back and get my vaccine and come back and do the of June so I'm in Newcastle away and then I'm going to drive back and get my vaccine and come back and do the Friday night

so I'm just going to be there I'm back I don't want to bother changing it alright well I have changed well so here's the good thing I have changed mine because mine was meant to be

next Thursday but that's when we're in late so I was like I have to I have to go down and do that I'm going to leave early to fucking get there so I've changed it to to I have to go down and do that kick and I'm going to leave early to fucking get there

so I've changed it to Tuesday and it's with great pleasure and it's that I get my vaccine before Ryan Cullen so funny high risk asthmatic

very close to dead Ryan Cullen I get vaccinated before he does his lungs like fucking crisp packets weirdly Pringles

shall I shall I say Pringles juice I shall we take Pringles juice I've always got my hand doing them only a bit down it's way easier sometimes I do

have to get my you know any toddlers I know to get their hands down when people walk in and you're like it's not how it looks your toddler's just got

their arms and Cullen's throat try to get Pringles no time to do it again Cullen didn't get his vaccine you did your toddler's just got oh I've been Colin Sprode trying to get Pringles what time do we get him em Colin didn't get his vaccine you did and we're getting our vaccines

which one are you getting what flavour em I'm not sure I don't even know if it's for Covid I think it's for rabies oh I'm getting

my vaccination is actually for the heebie jeebies I've been speaking gibberish so hopefully that'll fix that aye I do like to tap so aye

I've got to do the drive after I get my vaccination I've got to drive back to the gig straight after while autistic white eyes fuck you don't get somebody

to pick you up is that not what you're meant to do what if you go what if you become right handed I'm probably just fucking staying

one second break with my left feet that doesn't even affect your left and right because it's the same I would never I would never want left handed

just imagine getting in the car and having the left handed sit up I'm like I am left handed but don't fuck up imagine getting in the car and having the left handed set up I'm like I am left handed but don't fuck up the pedals in the car

they're probably left foot braking we've swapped it all over you know you're also on the left hand side of the car as well they've Americanised it

for you hey if you want to go left you fucking go all left baby honestly I think this I think it's already set up left handed having the gear stick in your left hand it's already set up left handed having the gear stick in your left hand

it's already set up left handed no because that's like not the important but the reason it's actually like that is so your dominant hand's on the steering wheel

there aye that is why you know the real reason why your sword hand that's the only reason so your sword hand's in your right hand

so when people are passing you are that's why we're on the side of the roads that's not why aye no that's gonna that's the only reason so your sword hands and your right hand so when people are passing you are that's why we're on the side of the roads that's not why no that's not that's why it weren't

driving sword fights in vehicles but it's also the side of where the seat is on the vehicle you know the American one they're wrong

or they're not wrong they're right because more right handed people are they didn't take left and right handed into consideration when they chose the car

I mean they must have they weren't sword fighting chose the car. I mean, they must have... They weren't sword fighting from the car, so they would have gone... And they had a horse. What? And then, what, they switched the roads around. They've already set them up for carriages and that. I swear.

Nah. I swear, man, I've read this. What? I've read it. Read what? Quote the book. I fucking... Which side of the road do you ride your horse on? read what? quote the book I fucking erm which side of the road do you

ride your horse on the movie oh the book on ice electric boogaloo and scene that was nice

I think anyway whatever it was can't remember but I know And scene. That was nice. I think, anyway. Whatever it was, can't remember. But I know it ended in laughter, so therefore it must have been class. This would be a nice episode to listen back to. For us, not them. Yeah, all of them.

Unless they did get high. Unless people did join in. And also, by the way, if you didn't get high, first of all, I obviously fucking respect your opinion too, but you are a fucking square. Can't even get high for a podcast. You're a fucking loser. Couldn't get permission.

You may get into trouble. I didn't have the fucking courage to just have a wee talk. Just a wee talk. Treat yourself. For a special once-in-a-lifetime fucking episode. Grow up. Kids look after themselves. Live your fucking life.

Whatever, you're pregnant just fucking live your life man get high aye can you I know you can't smoke weed while pregnant but

you should probably just assume right that they're on whatever you're on aye you can't get someone else high aye so you

aye the babies the babies have done it to me in that. You dared us to. Aye, but years earlier. Aye. It was less of a dare than just like a...

No, you dared the universe and I consider myself the centre of the universe so obviously I was... So, backstory. Danny's a criminal. He should be spending time in jail. He spiked me drink with MDMA. Before he went on stage one time.

Before I went on stage one time. He didn't tell us he was going to date it. No, but Kai did ask. For several years before, Kai always did this little social bit when he was fucking giving it big, like, I'm the hard man. I came up on stage, Daniel.

Aye, but you used to always... I thought I was ripping that gig. Well, you were, but not in the way that you thought you were. People were laughing. We weren't laughing. Mate, I was fucking... It was going through but not in the way that you thought you were people were laughing we weren't laughing mate I was fucking it was going through my bones

I felt like Chris Rock my feet were two feet off the ground and all that and then I was like I'm fucking ripping this

I feel men and then I was like oh I know this feeling oh no oh no I'm on MD and I'm on stage

fucking thinking about that and the fucking penny dropped and I'm like I'm on MD I'm on stage what the fuck how am I going to dropped and I'm like I'm on MD I'm on stage what the fuck how am I going to get out of this good fun

I had a belt of time aye I had a fucking belt of time but the realisation what a gear change that is you'd always said oh I never understand why people complain

about getting obviously there's a bet but it was like oh I can never understand why people complain about getting spiked you've got three fucking drugs man up blah blah blah

and then also handle your shit aye and then and then I think I set this up because I was like if he's out of date he may just look after us

aye just make sure I've got no planned like a gig aye like work well well

like nobody made you drink your drink right it's not like we pinch you down and force you I put something drink your drink right it's not like we pinned you down at 4 or something I put something in your drink because you dared the universe you picked a blame on me

aye I'm so fucking moody had you not had you not drank I'm being gaslit on my own podcast our podcast I can I'm allowed to gas if I'm not

allowed to gaslight on my own podcast what's the point in having a podcast we've got a bit of a steal

in here oh man because I you're right you're right but so am I I empathise with you you shouldn't be getting

gaslighted on your podcast but also actually I've got a paradox I don't know we've got the gaslight paradox right here another good name for the episode

another good names should we just fill it up into two for no reason not for a reason we've got two titles sorry sorry for one very poor reason

one shoddy shite reason I don't think that weed's kicked in I'm not feeling it I'm not feeling mine that's not like that is she just fucking does me tits in man she does me fucking tits in eyes like saucers

aye she's chatting a fucking box off and all that I tell you what I just lock his eyes on his gun fucking tits in eyes like saucers aye just chatting chatting a fucking box off and all that having a felt I tell you just locks eyes on I'm not feeling anything

but these things have kicked in are you fucking tripping me that's what you're normally like so obviously there were times

as well you're always in class it's gotta be the drug staff it's always to be the drug staff it's always like whenever she with because she doesn't partake

in drugs all too often if probably lose her job if anyone's listening actually oh really we'll go ask she's the HR source

which is kind of that's not what happened the HR source come back with something real she's gaslighting them if I can't gaslight

other people through my husband's own podcast what's the point in my husband

having a fucking podcast and the movie she's gaslighting I get it that makes

sense that's fair you're being reasonable I was just having a fucking podcast and the movie she's got it's like I get it that makes sense that's fair you're being reasonable I was just I was just I'm not feeling that way

she definitely she definitely I'm like what state does she need to be in before she admits it she'll be like fucking with my

thermonaut Pulp Fiction with fucking just saliva whatever mucus coming out of my mouth eyes rolling

through the back of my skull convulsing I'm not feeling that way I'm like I'm not giving her any more I'm going to get into trouble I'm going to take some pills my mouth eyes rolling back at my skull convulsing got a rough feeling now I'm like you know I'm not coming anymore I'm gonna get

into trouble I'm gonna take some responsibility yeah cut off your supply load this was already illegal but it's

about to become way more illegal there's a big difference between supply and murder illegal there's a big difference between supply and murder so there's that well because

now you've made me part of that because I was basically oh Cara because Cara doesn't do weed very often

but whenever she does whenever she by the way do take down a note at this time just in case we do have to cut

this out for the girls right okay not mentally she does by the way do take down a note at this time just in case we do have to cut this out for the girls right okay not mentally don't fucking man if I hate when they do it

at restaurants can I take your order sir ah yeah can I have like six cocktail orders yeah two cheese pizzas

two heinekens and a sire please so I've made a mental note of what point it is no no could you write that no no could you write it down please I'm using my mental note now because it was a good minute again

it was 37.10 right again write it down look I did a podcast I've just recorded that I bet you don't know at what point you've recorded it

you can't listen to the one in the oh no aye oh 37 minutes 10 but I got back

a minute to the bit I've just listened to aye so pretend to have a

kai but just in case the girls don't need it but the very rare times that Kara

ever does choose to get high it's normally after she's had a couple of drinks and she's

just got a little bit of like bravado in her she's just she's a 5 after she's had a couple of drinks and she's just got a little bit of bravado in her. She's a five-foot-two girl with a bit of fucking gusto, but I'm a big girl. I can do weed as well. And you're like, all right, you go.

And I'll always go. And I say, every time I'm like, remember, just take a tiny little puff. You can always get more high, right? Take a little puff. There you go. And she thinks it's just information that you're just giving her

because she thinks she can't handle her weed. But that's just information that you're just giving her because she thinks she can't handle a weed but that's just information for a vape if you're sucking it too hard you're going to

cough your lungs out don't do it you take little puffs little measures and also it is advice for her because she's tiny

and she does this all the time and she'll just go yep sure and then she'll like remember when I was sad on tour and before I used to walk on stage I would lock eyes with you take a massive puff of weed and then she'll like remember when I was sad on tour and before I used to

walk on stage I would lock eyes with you take a massive bath of weed and then walk on stage aye that's what she does she just goes I'll do this for 7 seconds

and then literally 15 seconds later just has neutralised herself on the couch aye and it's just there's like an off switch

aye she's just like aye there she's done like she's someone hit the sweet spot on her chin. It's like, look around and Danny's hands fly. Look, the reason I smoke a lot of weed

is because I want to shut up some of the voices in my head. And the reason Cara does it is for the same reasons, but there's only one voice. So she's just normal. So that's the thing. As a mental person,

I'm like, I'm going to quiet down half of these. There's still enough going there she's just got her own voice in her head aye no intrusive thoughts no no just a hamster on a wheel

that's also having the time of its life that's just she's a happy getting high just puts that to sleep aye just puts the hamster

just gets him on his little fucking pile of sawdust aye aye I think they live in sawdust aye I think they live in sawdust aye you know the stuff

that you throw on sick at school aye and Disneyland aye yeah fucking hell they must be in

codes flying around Disneyland and fucking sharing ideas I think I think no no

I think the janitor of the it's funny because I picked me up at high school. I've been born and raised everywhere. Not the private school. There's lots of teenage pregnancies. There was a lot of morning sickness.

So that makes sense. People can have a drink. No, no. The janitor who used to work at Disney then got the job at Ridley High got fired from Disney he took

he took the idea of some mailing list he took the mailing list from Disney went and replied Ridley High started giving homework to all the fucking

tourists apparently it's a fucking nightmare to work at Disneyland no but like but like they've got to like they don't get paid lots there's a I think there's like a fucking nightmare to work at Disneyland no but like but like they've got to like they don't get paid

lots there's a I think there's like a fucking Reddit oh this is going to be what gets cancelled to be smudging Disney's good name like it's

besmirching the anti-Semites good name that multi-billion corporation you can't go after Disney aye Disney that's in bed with China like that Disney

go and wait for Roll Paris and just Disney's in bed with China oh yes because they called on there

I'm thinking South Park no that's fine that's what you get yeah hold on I'm being high here South Park fucking

done a Disney and China episode that's how I heard the news so I don't really know the news what's the news

oh no have we talked about on here before what the Disney and China no I don't know

I don't know who spoke about it on the podcast before how are they in bent to give out what's happening em

something to do with the fucking movies oh hold on it'll be because if they don't Winnie the Pooh is that Disney

that is Disney but the reason that is is Winnie the Pooh the Prime Minister looks like him and he's out he's outlawed that joke there so they've

so that he's having a weird with Disney going yeah do you want me to google what's he had him like this joke that's going around so can you take and he's outlawed that joke there. So he's having a word with Disney, yeah. Do you want me to Google what's... He had him make this joke that's going around. So can you take Winnie the Pooh down? Is that what you mean? They're about to go out of their leg. That's fine.

They're getting cartoons cancelled. Disney and China. What's going on? What's that all about then? Is there something to do with the NBA as well? Are they in bed with China? Disney says... Well, get in bed with China.

I mean, it's a big audience. You know the guy from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the granddad, is he in bed with China? Who isn't in bed with China? Well, the NBA is eh eh South Park's not obviously

nah I'm not in bed with China yet also we're not because we did fucking Hong Kong Hong Kong so we're not you done a dirty protest

I did you did you smeared some shit right in the air fuck you China no and they were like oh you shouldn't

put the shit on China it was when it was when it was when they banned China banned masks in Hong Kong because they were

you know people weren't filming all the horrible things surely they've lifted that ban now hopefully they lift that ban for the pandemic

like no no guys rules are rules we know you're going to use this for bad reasons cat a few bad apples um

aye so I wore a I wore a mask at the end of the set before it was cool aye Shrek mask ha ha ha

ha ha well Shrek is Dreamworks that's fine is it aye but maybe who are they in bed with maybe Dreamworks that's fine is it aye but maybe who are they in bed with

maybe Dreamworks might be in bed with Disney India Dreamworks are in bed with India is that it's I've heard it

so this is just the rumour that you're starting now India's in bed with Dreamworks Dreamworks and who's picture are in bed with

they're in bed with Disney oh they are oh yeah they are Dreamworks Dreamworks and who's Pixar in bed with they're in bed with Disney oh yeah Dreamworks though Dreamworks on the slide I haven't had an affair

with India anyone has about it yet in fact this is hot press this is media Shrek is Dreamworks

and Shrek's at fucking Disney in fucking LA so therefore they must be if you've got Disneyland Shrek's at fucking Disney in fucking LA so therefore they must be if you've got Disneyland Shrek's in that park

so therefore they must own them they must I'll bed with each other take a swing at his party dirty fucking slut how long have we done? seven minutes now we'd be like 7 minutes of good stuff

I go old but my old boy but when you find it was 45 you're like oh well he's not no I just meant in the sense

should we go for another should we have another little doob another wee people are going no please don't fuck

right also you pause this here because I mean when I pause it it just puts like a break so you need to pause it I think they already knew that didn't they you were just telling me there that it's fine to dip onto your pizza you've come onto your census now no I'm just going to believe you Dwi'n meddwl eu bod nhw'n gwybod hynny oeddant. Roeddech chi'n dweud wrth fynd i mewn yno, bod hi'n iawn i ddib ar eich pizza.

Rydych chi'n dod i fyny ar y cyfnod hwn. Nid yw unig y bydd yn credu chi. Yn unig y byddai'n rhaid i ni ddweud hynny. Nid yw unig y byddai'n credu hynny i fod yn wir, oherwydd mae'n rhaid i bawb sylweddoli bod hynny'n beth anodd i'w wneud, yn enwedig pan nad ydych yn gwerthu'r sôs extra. Pan mae'n llwyr.

Ond mae'n ddib ar eich pizza ar unrhyw un arall. Nid yw hynny'n ymwneud â... sauce when it's limited but it's like you're doing a dip but you're putting your pizza on someone else's dip no it's the contamination of the dip with your pizza poor old man doing a pizza

touch of dip yeah that's not the argument at all I was going to say I don't even like fighting that corner I like fighting the right side

for the wrong reasons yeah doing the old Elliot Steele I'll have this opinion just because nobody else does aye

is this one not being used I look original so they pack this they pack this be the opinion anyone else has everyone thinks

well look here I mean it's sorry spoilers on your lower back slut spoilers on your lower back slut spoilers on your lower back like as in

car spoilers you could go faster aye aye I don't know what that's in reference to I'm fucking high as fuck I've lost what we're talking about what were we talking about before

we're kind of excavated I reckon we could oh no you started off with your slanderous fucking lies that I'm absolutely fine with you wasting pizza fucking sauce

but that was a false fucking intro anyway so technically we do have nothing to go back to so we're excavating fuck all

nah we're literally we're digging in our own back garden we're just digging in our back garden and be like I reckon there's

going to be fucking dinosaur bone here nah mate this is maybe a potato that you planted a couple of months ago. Nothing at all. This is

needless. You're going to have to come up with some new conversations from scratch there's nothing to find down here. Keep going. I mean unless you keep going until you get to a point where you know. Before the break. Just keep digging until it's just a big hole and that's why you're

digging. So what did you just stay there I was trying to grab that fucking fly I was trying to Mr Mey are you I've got that

you just reached up and just clutched the air I just I was just trying to grab any conversation just out of thin fucking air just pulling conversation

out of the ether just any banter just from somewhere around just from somewhere around just from another dimension just pull it through like a midwife through another dimension

but like taking the conversation away from someone else so that now in another universe somebody else is having this awkward chat someone else is going what we're talking about again that's a baluster train of thoughts somebody snatched it out the sky somebody snatched my thought out the sky because they were that's a baluster train of thoughts it's because somebody it's somebody somewhere

snatched it out the sky somebody snatched my thought out the sky because they were too high in another dimension that makes perfect sense aye now it's a stoner podcast

you can get down for that aye they're gonna start outlawing that like stop snatching people's conversation out the ether when they're using it

have riches come up with your own? No, that's not good. That's not what he's talking about. He looks stoned. Anyway, he is stoned, but now you make him look like one of those stupid stoned people, which he's not.

He actually handles his shit most of the time. That's why he had an idea to pinch, because he was stoned. He should cook that one up, he'd idea to pinch because he was stoned he should cook that one up in his neck bed because he was stoned you fucking you're a selfish

stoner every time I smell weed and this is because normally I smoke on the fucking the old vapes

you've brought around fucking green I always forget how much I genuinely love the smell of weed and just every time that's what makes me want genuinely love the smell of weed and just every time

that's what makes me want to garden the smell of weed the smell of cannabis aye just because I reckon by the time I'm by the time I'm retired

right by the time we're retired aye by the time I'm retired and you're medically retired say no you can't do this anymore it's bad for him

man they probably will maybe a doctor will just be like you can't do this anymore by the time we're retired there's a fair chance that marijuana might be legalised

in the UK or at least fucking decriminalised to the point where we can properly grow it. Should we just get an allotment? No, we're doing it in our back garden. Aye, give me an allotment in your garden.

Why wouldn't you do an allotment? I want an allotment of land in your garden. Right, for you to grow wheat. I wasn't thinking of a way to get a crop in a lot. You weren't thinking of a way just by using my garden aye alright okay

I'll have to have an allotment in your garden look we're going to look back on this and realise we've made a deal that you're going to give me an allotment of land that's not what happened

absolutely I don't think everyone heard my hands touching everyone heard our wet hands clamp together squelched the old the old wet slap of slab of cotton slots I find.

We went back the bit wet so I was like, I'm going to afford it. I turned and shook hands. I had my hands shaking. He got through. Overwhelming evidence. Overwhelming evidence of that.

And I'm an allotment. Like that is gone to grow weed on which none of them want you to have based on this conversation he doesn't need it anymore will someone out there just steal this idea

so we can move on we thought Pinter oh god 8 minutes new you're doing you're doing fucking cardio time you know when you're doing fucking cardio and you're like I've listened to two

fucking podcasts, I've listened to 7 jumps in my audio book I've got to two fucking podcasts I've listened to seven jumps in my audio book I've got to have been on this bike for 25 minutes at least you lift the phone up

and you go fucking three minutes are you kidding how the fuck has that happened 16 seconds are you kidding us oh

I've got to go back to the back to the back to the gym aye aye you've got your you've got your fucking gravity defying weights aye I've got to go back to the back to the back to the gym aye aye you've got your you've got your fucking

gravity defying weights aye I've got that I've got stuff here and I'm getting I'm getting a peloton for here just so that oh muggle corner

peloton 100% 100% yeah I'll have a peloton and I'll cycle it in the corner but it's just I just think it's like if I

so I can do stuff at home if I and I've got no excuse not to but also do you have to like book's like if I so I can do stuff at home if I and I've got no excuse not to but also do you have to like book in I don't know I haven't fully now I've told Tony this

me neither man do you have to book in a class in your own house so you like you book in for a time and it's live so you've got to be there otherwise they're going to start without you

you've wasted your money isn't that what it's like no idea so you've got to go I've got a fitness class go and record I'm pretty sure it's like podcasts it's just pre-recorded and then they I mean I genuinely don't know I didn't think they are you know I don to go I've got a fitness class I'm pretty sure it's like podcasts it's just pre-recorded

and then they I mean I genuinely don't know I didn't think they are you now I don't know I've not I've not I just but you're like

I'll get one of them well because Cara Cara's mate had one and Cara used it and I was like it's great and I'm like alright well we'll just get one then

because it'll give me excuse to fucking work at my home but man it's way easier in the gym it's a thousand times easier so he's getting like a tandem one I said we should get two

and she threw she was like you're not getting get a tandem I would be good oh no no no I'm just getting I'm getting a standard one

but with like an ET basket on it for her and she's just gonna she's just gonna just sit in the front just eh wee smile on her face

wee picnic third use of hamster wheel in this but you should get cold and a pellet on Mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n dweud wrthym, mae'n d And the hamster comes down with a fucking little nibble of the ball bearing and you're just like, take this, Mark. He just whacks in the face with a squirt of the water. No one should do that. Did I ever used to do that to Colin or to hamsters? Colin, when he comes off his Peloton. Comes off his hamster wheel Peloton and you just fucking turn the guard nose on him.

Remember this, bitch? No, what we do have when he's on his hamster wheel peloton we have a really really big screen beside him which we just have the picture of somebody tapping on the side of glass so not only is it a hamster wheel

but he thinks he's hamster size it's just a weird screen no sometimes sometimes just for fun I like to just

get every morning wake up before Colin does, and just put a giant eye outside of his window, just so when he wakes up, he thinks a giant's come to spy on him. He's like, not again, dives under the bed. Aye, and he's there for hours, quaking in his boots. One of the days when Colin's on his Peloton hamster wheel, I'd shove the emergency stop on

and just see how many times he runs around it just stop it dead watch him do like three flips like that on his neck Colin actually stuck he's already decided

that he's going to get a tin can stuck in the wheels of the belt to make it sound like a motorbike he's going to get reflectors on him he's going to get reflected on it

he's going to go on a fucking helmet knowing I'm a fucking high risk cunt I do think it's very very funny that we came out here to do a student podcast and didn't invite Colin like it's not it's not as if smoking is not something he's not into

just an extra voice on the podcast, an extra mind, a funny man anyway guys we're doing a special special episode of the podcast not that fucking special get away you can go and watch fucking reality TV shows with girls. He's watching football like a real man.

With the girls? Aye. Aye, fucking... Natalie's banging at the football class. I even took the name of a few of the Burnley team. Aye. Aye, she knows where they're playing. She knows the names of the stadium and that.

Getting right into it. Dave knows the names of the stadium and that getting right into it Dave Heaney talking football I'm like is that what I'm like Grealish this Madison that I just sounds like I just sounds like

sexual request Grealish this and Madison that and if you can, Dan Barbar right here, baby. I miss Dan Barbar. He's a free agent.

He's a free agent. You're going to come flip our podcast. Get it on the Bosman. Imagine we had Dan Barbar on the next podcast on the Bosman ruling aye

on the Bosman ruling it's a free transfer thing it's not what happened with Denver Bar but it's just a reference

to free transfers reference I did not understand there's a documentary on it I find that quite boring actually

they document a documentary on legislation aye that shouldn't be allowed aye just because it's

named after a footballer I don't want to mind it I don't know the back story I get it. I don't even know the backstory. I get it. You don't do documentaries on laws. You do documentaries on people who broke the law.

And you explain the law, making it look cool. Netflix. Who needs to do a documentary on people that broke the Bosman rule? That's all we're trying to do. Get Netflix on the phone right also

I'm going to ask you to remember this time in the podcast just for this idea no not Mr Waiter Sir write down my fucking order

oh man right me, Cara and Ali went to a fucking we went to a really nice Indian restaurant the other night and man look

I get it like it's been a while since restaurants have been open I do not expect the staff to be the best at their jobs it's like your first 10 gigs back right you've got to shake off the fucking cobwebs so it's the same for service staff it's been

so long so give them a break give them a break right so we're there and it's like there's new guys there and they keep coming back and double checking the order and they're like I'm really sorry it's my first day it's been a while and we're like it's absolutely fine man

we're just excited to be out and it's you know and they're but they're making the occasional mistake and they're getting things wrong it's all fine who gives a shit

we get to the fucking main course and it's great the food's amazing the booze is great the waiters are good chat they're just occasionally fucking up and one of them comes over

and he goes how's your meal and we're like comes over and he goes how's your meal and we're like it's great he goes can I get you anything else and Ali goes yeah

can I get some some cheese naan and like the waiter's face he was so confused kind like properly like like did not compute

his brain like just a look of utter he was flabbergasted at the request and a cheesy naan bread cheese naan right and Cheese naan, right? And he goes, okay.

And he walks away and we're like, man, he did not hear cheese naan. Like, that's not the... Whatever this is going to be, it's going to be amazing. Right, like, this is not the reaction. Like, he works in an Indian restaurant. I know it's his first day, but you can't be shocked. Hold on, they put cheese on naan? Am I going to sound is this is this a prank

am I being sent for like a long stand here am I gonna go downstairs be like they want a cheese naan they're like cheese naan that's against all our culture

you daft bastard see utterly fucking perplexed right five minutes pass ten minutes pass we're still eating you think cheese

cheesecake he put cheesecake in the middle of his videos in the middle of the fucking main course he just comes over the middle of his indians in the middle of the fucking main course he just comes over big smile on his face cheesecake and ice cream

I mean the supermarket didn't even have that was on the menu aye and they said he just said I saw some cheesecake it's first day back lads

we've got to make it good I can't since Bruce we need every returning customer possible so you bought a cheesecake did you have that well still no we didn't put one in I was like man maybe

however when it arrives you can't wait you know what we'll finish this we'll have that that's how they get you not a real stone are you

no I wasn't stoned you can't prove my point you can't prove my point I proved my point who's saying that do you want to come sit over here no deal with the argument

just go on somebody laugh only because the squeaky chair is there and there's been enough complaints about that only by me I was going to say

were there any complaints or was it just you nah someone did put it in the comments once if Danny gets a I'll sign the comments once if Danny gets a I'll sign up the Patreon if Danny gets a chair that isn't squeaky

oh well I mean I don't I didn't agree to that it's just one person every time I click my fingers Danny's chair squeaks yeah but that's just

more annoying that's like another unnecessary acoustic now I have to listen to you click your hand and you see squeaking like what are you doing

like fucking I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell

I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell

I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell

I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell

I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell

I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell

I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell I can't tell mind was searching for. I stumped, that's a good reference. With the tin lids and all that. I was so bitter, man, it was on the tip of my tongue

that entire time, but just, you know, that fucking trick of mine. I'm always stumping on the tip of your tongue. It's like a king thing. It sounded way hotter than I thought it was going to be. Way hotter. I meant it like violently.

You asked us to remake a mental note of a time I'm surprised but I remembered what we're talking about that doesn't matter that's not the point

of the mental note no but you never got your point it was about the breaking the Bosman ruling what were you about to get to on that you got sidetracked

I don't know why you were asking us to take a note of the time what was it for why would we want to go back to that point oh to take it out so Netflix don't steal this great idea of the documentary of the breaking of the possible one oh so that was your joke and I just put actually a mental note of it

what time was that what time was that three hours three hours fifteen no what time was did I ask you to take a mental note of fifty seven minutes

did yeah aye and what about the other one that was fifty seven ten right what right so the one

where oh no I've done the same one twice ah yeah ah the other one yeah the important one the one the one about

the yeah ah can I say it again ah 37 yeah 37

confident uh huh I didn't have the seconds but 37 alright and I'm going to get back to 37 and I'm going to hear myself to 37 and I'm going to hear

myself making the mental note because I I say it then as well are you writing it down no I'm checking the football scores is this podcast over

I think it is is it you said it was an hour I have done an hour oh fucking Chelsea losing so let's go and watch the rest of the football

I wrote one dad joke I'll go for it your dad was sick on the front of his shirt after doing fortnight dances with a full stomach well that'll teach him no

can't do it silly man yeah me too you're gonna be sick right night night see you in the morning