Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Ep 4.42 ASL?

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

At the end of their tether from a rough day of touring the boys try to quickly vent then stay off topic long enough to chat about the early days of internet and MSN Messenger but inevitably they keep getting suckered back in. 

We forgot to do an intro. Here's your podcast. accidental rim job in the park. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Or might just be cynical. Just muggled it up on fucking Mugglopedia. Where have you been since 9-11? Before we go any further, quick two-minute apology and announcement, and then I don't want to speak about it again. And then it's going to be the Pretend to be Fine podcast. Yep.

Yesterday, we had to cancel the show in Aberdeen because there was a colossal fuck-up on our end, and by our end, I mean from my tuning company and my management. This was completely and utterly avoidable, but it was not avoided because people were trying to save face, and it meant there were a bunch of people in Aberdeen standing outside waiting for us to gig while we were sat on a tarmac in London.

And we're very sorry to all the people that couldn't get tickets. We have rescheduled I think we're going to try and go for January the 28th We're very sorry if it makes you feel any better I am still filled with a seething white hot rage for two individuals

who are supposed to have our best interests at heart and our fans best interests. No, no, no, it's not a discussion. This is a statement. No, no, I'm joining. Go on, you make your statement. It only happened to you. But I don't want to get into it.

We've had too many podcasts in the past where it's just us ranting and bitching and it's not good content. So I'm sorry to the people of Aberdeen. It shouldn't have happened and I would love to say it won't happen again. And I can assure you it won't happen again, because if it does happen again, several

people are fired. I think people will be able to relate that work in jobs where there's like an office upstairs where you go, oh right, the people that are at the spreadsheet aren't really thinking about the people on the ground. No. That's not people that they're playing with. And you think

with an industry like this, it would be a little bit more... People who are supposed to be a little bit more personal. People who are supposed to have you back and are supposed to care about your well-being and your mental health actively and consistently making decisions that directly affect those things. There's a couple of things at play like to not whinge too much we started the UK tour immediately after getting back off the USA tour

so it was already off to a bad start because we'd just get the taste of being back home in fact just enough to do our laundry and it was like

I would have probably been better off for it psychologically if we'd just powered through you get a little taste of home. Like, I went back, I had a welcome home party.

My wife, she put a hot tub, she hired a hot tub for us. We had all kinds in for cocktails. We had a belt of time. And that was welcome home. And then I was just gone again after two days. You're maxed out on anybody. Oh, is it not plugged in? Oh, shit.

Also, like, to move on from this you've just this is this is a technical difficulty as we'll have today if anybody's watching this on YouTube you're going to get to see me keep getting up

and wiping the lens of the camera yep this is because yesterday when I went off the day before yesterday when I went off on tour out of Brighton I put all the podcast stuff

in the boot of the car so Natalie could bring it here without having to lump it in aye obviously we've just had the coldest weather this winter yep

so all the stuff's been freezing cold in the boot of my car right and I've set up straight after you've been on the peloton just over there I went for a rage ride

this morning he had a rage ride and sweated out a fraction of the anger that he's feeling. And that's still floating in the air right now. And when I set up all the cold tech, it's all, feel it, it's all sopping wet. It's a bit better now, actually.

But the camera lens keeps steaming up. So if ever it gets like you're watching it through frosted glass, that's Daniel's rage sweat. Sorry, we're having a very, very steamy podcast. Now that I'm not... Done? Yep, the professionals who know they fucked up know they fucked up. They are allegedly sorry.

And we will find out whether that's true based on their actions in the future. In order to change the subject, i have a very important question for you what do you think would be the most satisfying way to kill every member of american airline staff not necessarily efficient it doesn't have to be efficient like we're not trying to like get rid of them across the board wipe them off the face of the earth. What's like for you, for your soul, for your heart and for your mental health, what would be the most enjoyable way to kill every single one of them?

Right, I think for every time they've been rude to someone, they get pricked with a pin. Oh, okay. So like death by a thousand cuts. But like by 150,000 pricks. But it's the self-harm of every time they've pricked somebody. Aye.

And I can assure you if you work for American Airlines and even if it's just a small pin every single member of staff will bleed to death by the end of this. If your company fucks up don't take joy in it. Aye.

Don't take joy in the people you've fucked it up for's day being ruined. I can't believe. It's a culture. This is the thing. It's not just, you know how sometimes you can go, oh my God, fucking the staff at Minnesota are all fucking patronising, right? You can do that with a talent.

Yeah, they've got that Minnesota nice thing. It's like in Paris, right? In Paris, they're like, we're just rude here. And you're like, all right, well, I'm not coming back then if that's your overriding personality trait. But I get it. You're a capital city and you're a capital city that a lot of tourists come to. I understand. I don't respect it, but I do understand. And it's your home, right? But that's the culture of a place. Yes. Right. That's the culture of a place. However, American Airlines have got a toxic culture within the ranks. and it doesn't matter if

you're in a like a place where everyone's hospitable like new orleans the the culture within american airlines is to treat you like a cunt man you could be in the nicest part of we were in the south and look i know people have different opinions in the south but it's hospitality they're known for it yeah southern hospitality and we say this is two white men and so obviously it's different for us with accents they love us southern hospitality is is really good like i love going down south people are so friendly hey y'all how y'all doing like friendly smile eye contact and still somehow american airlines just finds people who were abused as children uh were, just have some sort of mental illness,

where there's like, you know that guy that had a tumor in his brain, that made him fancy kids? Aye. Just one. One, they've just got all, some fucking tumor in their head,

that just makes them so angry. The thing that pisses me off most, right, I get it, like you're dealing with, you're dealing with so much staff every day, and you're dealing with, you're not staff,

you're dealing with so much of the public every day, and you're not only that and it probably is that they're probably dealing with each other and they're probably really underpaid and they probably hate the company they work for but you're also dealing with the American public every day and that's Karen's

and that's all the other Americans what really upsets me the most about it is quick pop quiz what's my favourite company in the entire world? British Airways the greatest company in the world I'm not even sponsored by British Airways and I'll tell you right you're not even put off company in the entire world? British Airways. The greatest company in the world. I'm not even sponsored by British Airways

and I'll tell you right off. You're not even put off by the fact they're called British Airways. You're just like, okay, I'm going to give you that because you provide a good service and if the rest of Britain

was like that, I'd like Britain. I'd be a flag shagger. Man, even yesterday during the fuck up, like British Airways, like there was, we got to the terminal,

we were trying to get a flight to Aberdeen, we knew there was going to be one leaving in 45 minutes and there was a huge fucking queue at everything for a checkout

Kai runs past this lovely British Airways woman who can clearly see that he's flustered Jackie Jackie aye and he was like we need to get on this flight

we don't have a ticket for it we're booked just get a taxi from Southampton we've got a show tonight I literally poured it on her we're stressed and worried and she went okay she calmed me down stressed and worried. And she went, OK. She calmed me down.

She calmed you down. And she went, OK, very subtly, both of you, I'm not allowed to do this. Follow me and don't make a scene. And she cue cut us all the way there. She sat down. She couldn't get on the phone to the ticketing company. So instead what she did, she knows she has a friend who works in ticketing. And she used her personal mobile to phone this person and go hey I've got two lovely guys

and I'm just there going give this woman every promotion in the world give her all of the money that ever existed but this is just it's just British Airways

they just I tried to get us onto a flight that was about to take off in 25 minutes and she couldn't and she was gutted yeah she was like

I'm really sorry if you want I can try and get you on the Glasgow flight and maybe you'll be able to like drive up she was like, I'm really sorry. If you want, I can try and get you on the Glasgow flight and maybe you'll be able to like drive up. She was coming out with solutions. She couldn't have done more. She could not have done more.

Jackie from British Airways, he threw Terminal 5. You were the only good thing about our day yesterday. You are a diamond and also to all British Airways staff, thank you so much for being human beings

and treating human beings like human beings. The fact that British Airways are partnered with American Airlines is the difference between glitter and Gary Glitter. That's like, one of them is like a fun thing that you bring out at children's parties and you decorate it, it's fun for everyone.

And one is a pedophile that fucks children. Ruins children's parties. Like, that's the fucking, I cannot imagine two companies that belong less together other than like maybe PETA and a Butcher's. Like, your goals are the opposite. British Airways goals is like, let's get this done in the easiest and kindest way possible.

And American Airlines is, you know what? I reckon if we keep pushing them we can get a white guy to do 9-11 i really really fucking reckon if every single member of our staff are undereducated horrible fucking staff an atheist is going to hit the freedom tower man it's the only thing I get. And by the way, if you work for American Airlines, I'm not legally allowed to say end your life. But end your... But can we say it like as if it were the noise next door?

End. Your. Life. There. Right? And this is what it's like as a partnership with British Airways and American Airlines. You know when one of your mates has just got a shit partner?

Like, one of your girls just brings a lad out with them that just gets into fights and causes trouble and can't handle two beers. Natalie's partner does, my lad. You know how your mate abuses that plus one? Yes, aye. And gets somebody invited to weddings and shit that shouldn't be there

because they're not on the same level as your friendship group. Yeah, yeah. That's what British Airways and American Airlines is it would be like you go hey you go to the cinema

and you go to one of the deluxe cinemas where it's like the massage chairs and you can order stuff to the table and they come out

with booze and it's nice it would be like turning up there and they're like hey unfortunately the deluxe

it's just it's just close today we can't we can't do it but we're gonna we're gonna make you watch wonder woman 1984 but we're but we're gonna make you watch it on the back of them we're gonna make you watch on a meth addict's phone while he tries to sell you heroin and tells you all of his business ideas and you're like i just i cannot like it would be like it's right it would be here's what it is it and tells you all of his business ideas. Like, I just, I cannot. Like, it would be like, here's what it is. It would be like me going in Aberdeen yesterday.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're so sorry. Daniel Sloss, his flight is grounded in London. He can't get to Aberdeen. We know you were so fucking excited to see him, but sadly he's not here. So we've got the next best thing Peter Kay some people would love that yeah but not my fans that would really trim the herd for you

yeah yeah yeah yeah oh maybe I should do that like just go do that ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage Peter Kay and anyone that cheers

I'm like security those are out those aren't my fans. I don't want them to be my fans. Off you fucking pop. Garlic and bread, though. He's so shit.

And he's a cunt. I just want everyone to know that. Peter Kay, notoriously, one of the most known facts about him on the circuit is that he is a horrific human being to everyone he works with. Steals his friends' material. Steals his friends' material. Steals his friends' work. Just a big, big bastard of a man.

And not funny to boot. Well, again, he's got it all. But he's a grafter. That James Corden ethic, that capitalism. Well, I mean, James Corden's another one. Have we spoken about the James Corden Reddit AMA? I don't know what that means. So you know on Reddit, you know Reddit.

You're aware of it. Yeah, I feel like I'm a bit of a boomer when it comes to Reddit. Reddit was cool. Reddit was cool, and I say that in air quotes because it was never cool, but it was popular like seven to ten years ago. You know when I first started hanging out with you and Little Ali? Yes. You were banging to Reddit.

I wasn't, he was. He he was i've never been into reddit but uh how long did you not get chive off reddit oh my just being an absolute like no no i got chive off of alley maybe he got it off of there right all right because i remember you as well like such internet nerds and that wasn't my world really yeah like my world was msn and hot or not. I remember MSN. You're a tail ender. MSN Messenger. I remember the birth of MSN. MSN Messenger we're talking about, yeah.

Yes. So you come home from school, right, and you've not spoken to any of the girls that you want to speak to in high school because who's got the courage to do that? So you go home and you go on MSN Messenger with all your friends and you add people via their emails

and everyone's got like different fonts of their names and there's always like My Chemical Romance quotes and all their best friends written out there

and conversation goes the same every time when the girls you're like what on let me ask last one come on I was like oh there's

drink treble C double stay single I'm going to chat to her what was your name oh no he has red hot ice queen straight me too they were me too I was like Oh there's Drink Treble C Double Stay Single I'm going to chat to her Wait what was your name? Oh no He has Red Hot Ice Queen Straight Me too

They were my two favourites To chat to No but Were these people In your school Or were you just On chat with them One of them was

My ex-lass Who I would try And booty call So when she was on I was like Oh I might be able To get a lead Booty call when?

How old are you? After I broke up How old are you here? When you were on MSN I still lived with my parents Aye So How old are you? After I broke up. How old are you here? When you were on MSN Messenger? I still lived with my parents. Aye. So how old were you? You were on MSN Messenger at 21!

I think we last for 17! No, it's just... Of course, you're a generation above me, but for me, MSN Messenger is just such a it's just such a teenage angst thing we were all out there

trying to get laid wait that was your Tinder that was our Tinder really I put Tinder for people you knew you'd like

you'd get that fucking MSN when you're chatting them up with boss and I'd chat to them and if they didn't reply to you

you'd fucking nudge them knock on the window you can remember that gif it was like you could't reply to you fucking nudge them knock on the window he's thinking remember that gif it was like you could make a gif pop up that like

actually knocked on that window oh no I saw a fucking belt I tweaked the other day that went viral if you know what

ASL means how's your back age sex location aye it's so funny that you just Age, sex, location Aye Aye It's so funny that you just go Before I start

How old are you? Let's get it the way I'm not looking at you Aye I don't want to get in a deal Look that's good Tell us how old you are Straight off the bat

That's good How old are you? What gender? No homo What gender are you? Aye And where do you live? How much petrol

is there any point in this conversation look straight out the butt is this conversation worth it yeah and after that

I'll work out whether you're interested but first we need to work out if I'm interested or if I am interested whether I'm going to jail or not

I had entire I had like an entire relationship on MSN Messenger. I remember... I got semi-catfished on it.

Aye? Aye. I ended up having a really in-depth relationship with someone on text that we never met, and I just gathered that she didn't exist, is who she said she was, and the pictures weren't real. But I was chatting with her for a while.

It wasn't like... I didn't get catfished on the scheme of things. This would be, like, turning up to an AA meeting because I'm getting off cigarettes. It was, like, base level. I got duped by somebody, but I wasn't that emotionally invested in it. You didn't tell her your dick pics or anything?

Nah. Nah. I've never, I've never been mad for dick pics. Like, I've sent dick pics before when girls were like wanting insurance policies so that they would send boobs

I'll do that and I get that I understand that but I've never been like thinking that they'd ever want to see it well see I

I would normally have agreed with you there because like and I maybe this is just like a male perspective

and a very like blinkered male perspective. Remember how I was, that fucking rant I did where I was like, who wants to watch a man eating pussy in porn? And everyone was like, well, it's not just for you. All those fucking, you've got your own porn feminists. Enjoy it. I feel like there are, like I, after speaking to Cara

and with people in the past who have said dick pics too, the time girls are like, man, I love dicks. Like, not only do I love dick, I love dicks. Like, I think, not only do I love dick, I like your dick, of course I want to see it. because to us,

it's just like such a gross, weird protrusion that we're ashamed of half the time. Like women's bodies, and again, maybe this is just a matter of perspective, but like I do, women's bodies, they're just,

there's so much more to them and to look at. And like the, like the breasts are there and they're either there's so much more to them and to look at and like the breasts are there and they're either big and small and all the curves are there and the vagina's there and it's like hidden

but it's not sometimes it's too whereas a dick's just like hiya hiya hiya can

am I sexy like this do I like who wants to masturbate to me like a chin chip a chin chip

like this is are we being straight supremacists here like by assuming that nobody wants to see a dick yeah we definitely are

like I I want to I want to see a dick but like out of morbid curiosity like if Mark Nelson was there right now and he was going to get his copy,

do you think I'd be like, oh Mark, no, I'd be like, I don't give a look. Ew. Ew. Why am I still looking?

Ew. Don't do that. I wouldn't be like, send us a pic. But I guess it makes sense because look, as much as we're like, maybe girls feel that way. They're like, why do you find because look as much as we're like maybe girls feel that way

they're like why do you find fanny sexy and we're like because all the good bit of it's inside it's a mystery like from the outside it looks so small

and this but like the way it feels it's just how does it the echo it's a pocket of promise how is this how does this

small dainty thing on the outside make such good things happen and also man gays must love dick pics you reckon because I yeah I mean they definitely do they definitely love

man they get, gays get thirsty over like fucking, not even just gays women as well, straight women get thirsty over like if you've got grey sweatpants on they like the outline of the, if you can see the outline of the ball be. Like, like, uh, you're going in Pittsburgh, you'd have the mouse slipping off the seat.

I was watching from the wings, I was like, you've probably got your cock good. Just the way the light was hitting it. I didn't have that problem. I also posted... Same joggers, same lights, didn't have the problem. I posted a photo, when we were in, uh, I think we were in San Francisco,

I took a photo of me under a sign that said Pratt because I am hysterical and I was in me trackies and I was baked and Cara took a photo of it

and I just posted it but I genuinely did it just because I looked like a Pratt I had my backward baseball cap on and I don't wear hats the only reason I was wearing hats was because we'd done the Orpheum

and they'd given away free hats well not given away free hats they'd had an Orpheum hat with Daniel Sloss tour show on it and I just thought that was very very cool so I wore that

me trackies and I'm smoking out of the thing take the photo put it on Instagram and it's very I sincerely meant it as a look at the

fucking state of me like yes I'm having fun but I'm still objectively like a giant fucking loser who's just very lucky. And then I went back on like 25 minutes later and checked the comments and people were just putting in the aubergine emoji. And like, turns out you could see the outline of my dick. Ah, you're thirst baiting.

And I said to Cara, I'm like, I didn't know. And she was like, I knew. I knew when I took it. So do you think girls like the hidden promise of dick rather than the actual full blown picture of the dick? Well, maybe. There's literally two women in the other room and we're like, we could ask them. girls like the hidden promise of dick rather than the actual full blown picture of the dick well maybe there's literally two women in the other room and

we're like we could ask them but no we're just going to speculate no no but they don't want they only want to be

on the patreon podcasts and Karen really liked the feedback that she got from the other one and even Natalie liked the feedback

that she's got the confidence to come on at some point but yeah Natalie listened to it and she was like I want to come on at some point. Yeah, Natalie listened to it and she was like, I want to go on now. Good. Yeah, she was like,

oh, that's actually like broke me fear of it, listening to Cara on it. I do, I do. It added such good balance, didn't it, having Cara on? Aye.

I do wonder, women, right? So like the, and this goes out to gays as well, anyone that likes cock, right? Anyone that's a fan of cock. Like, if you like the outline of the cock, right?

In the jeans. Like, do you, is like part of it the mystery of like how big does that get? Or is it like when you see like a big one, do you want it to like get bigger than that? Or are you like, oh my God, it's that big there. That's perfect. Like what's the, because I know big cocks are like,

not everyone likes big willies it's like the anticipation isn't it it's like you know horror movies where they don't just show you all of the action it's all about the

suspense like American Werewolf in London it's more about the fucking worry of it happening the worry the fact I'm calling it a horror story

and saying worry yeah yeah I feel like you've missed the American worry story that's the yeah so it might be just the anticipation is way better than, like, you know, when you get the horror,

that's just full-gone. You're like, ah, that's just... I don't need to see that. Well, because I guess... Because, I mean, what's the... Men don't really like the mystery of it. The last is, like, body pics. Well, not ours, but I reckon other ones.

Such a sad story, but yes. Like, I reckon they, such a sad story but yes like I reckon they like maybe they don't because like I've definitely heard like some women and they're real adamant

also we're we're totally generalising so many people at once like everybody everybody's gonna have their own yeah but that's man we're doing comedy

like anyone that's this is the thing about comedy because you're making generalisations and you go yeah welcome to comedy because without making a generalisation I can't make the punchline in the example i wish

to make like it's this this isn't a political speech that i'm not running for office i have to make generalizations well we're gathering data and then and then presenting data in specific ways so that we can make a punchline off of it we're misrepresenting or spinning it around body pics do you think that's a myth that you know how like

you'll see some clickbaits about girls like dad bods I don't think it's a myth at all like if we're talking about statistically if you're going to generalise based on

the highest number do you think the majority of girls like a dad bod yep 100% or do you think they'll just like they're cool with a dad bod that rather you just had a personality that rather you were happy they were rather that year had motivation in life and like yeah you were caring and loving

and there's so many things that come before body that they'd much rather have a guy with a dad bod who's got all of those things than a fucking bimbo that's a bit of a selfish prick that's got a nice body right but if they could have all of those things in a guy bimbo that's a bit of a selfish prick that's got a nice body right but if they could have all of those things in a guy plus he took care of himself do you think

the majority statistically the mean average would prefer somebody that was just looked like The Rock

no no I don't not quite The Rock because some movies that's like a bit too far on the gauge but you know just somebody that no man I reckon they like Mickey off off snatch no i reckon they want fucking like chris

pratt from the parks and rec days this little tubby guy i handsome handsome handsome nice genuinely because man i look i used to be in decent shape you were a very good nick at one point and you remember natalie couldn't give a fucking shit the shape you were it was all for you it was all for you and man I remember when I was going to the gym and that was when

I was shagging around a lot it wasn't for them that was for me to like you know that bothered me a little bit when I

had onion in my head that bothered me a little bit when I because I got myself in ridiculous shape like it was fucking

stupid like it took too much to get there right it was insustainable for a man in his 30s yeah so eventually

she just wouldn't even glance up and I'd be like I'm wasted on her like I like that look I'm in

that's not why she got with me no she got with me because I'm class crack sure and that's what she looks up for

looks up for the banter aye for the quips the puns the relentless jokes aye they're having something to say for every

every situation I think Cara is now I'm in the I'm in the worst shape I've ever been in my life

and I'm genuinely fine with it aye let's be real so is she aye aye well that's so her thing is I'm in the worst shape I've ever been in my life and I'm genuinely fine with it let's be real so is she aye aye well that's so her thing is like I'm in the worst shape I am and the reason I want to start working on it that's why it's funny

she's a fat cunt there we go just in case anyone missed the previous episodes no no no I'll also not have fucking anyone on the outside tell me what I meant by my actions and my words and what my relationship is. If you want to fucking project onto this,

why don't you project her vomit your shit elsewhere, you fucking morons. And also, I don't think our fans do that. I think that was just you putting in an unnecessary caveat. She's a fat cunt because she's pregnant. And she doesn't want me to, she doesn't want me to be, she's like, don't get into shape.

And I'm like, I would really like to, because I'm in dad mode now. Like I'm off booze, I'm off want me to be, she's like, don't get into shape. And I'm like, I just, I would really like to, cause I'm in dad mode now. Like I'm off booze. I'm off weed. Oh yeah. How's that going? I mean, yesterday was a fucking challenge.

I, you've done really well not to drink yesterday. And I was going to look out for you, you know, after you started drinking in the lounge. I was,

I was ready to stop you. I was ready to give you a couple of slaps on the wrist. And then I was like, put like, we could get around this, but again, this isn't the fucking, this is just a, it doesn't, to stop you i was ready to give you a couple of slaps on the wrist and then i was like but like we could get around this by again this isn't the this is just a it doesn't because i think the the whole key is if you could have one and then carry on going then have it and i would have had that conversation where if he can guarantee to me you can have this drink the day

and then tomorrow's a new day or start on the first of the month that was a false start and if you could if you were to me, like, nah, if I drink this, I'm fucking, I'm done. I wouldn't,

I would have. Booze, booze. I would have had your back. I was ready for the conversation. I'm in control of booze. I'm objectively not in control of weed. And that's why,

that's why I've got to come off. And that's my problem with booze, is if I do have booze, I'll just go, oh, well, now I'll have a, I'll have a, I'll have a spliff.

And I felt really bad about last night. Sorry about last night, by the way. I was quite loud in the house. And you had to text us saying, shut the fuck up. All right, please. I did say please. You did say, shut the fuck up, please. And you did text me both.

All right. But me and Colin were having a lovely time. We both had a tough day. But I have tough days by like i talk about everything if i've got a problem i wear like i want to just thrash it out i want to talk to every angle i couldn't talk to you about it yesterday because you didn't want to talk about it yeah no you want to internalize it you want to get mad at the people who it was because of you didn't want to be appeased because you liked being in that pocket of anger because you had someone to point it at

yeah and also i don't want i do not want to fucking calm down if you have fucked me over if you have absolutely fucked over right i'm not i'm not calming down these are the fucking consequences of your actions and i'm i am gonna fucking compress all of this hate into a fucking diamond and tell you exactly how i fucking feel um you're you do not get to ignore my feelings and my emotions just because time has passed so like i'll yeah and i don't you're not getting away with this i'm making sure you don't which means i'm going to stay angry even if it hurts on the inside yeah 100 so like i've got this way of like when i'm when i'm in that pocket of having a shit time and i feel like the fucking world's on top of us like if i was being tortured i'd

laugh at myself for being tortured like oh look at me get my nails pulled off it's my way of processing stuff and that wasn't washing with you yesterday you didn't want anything to do without it was making any worse so i just separated myself from you and just like watched me fucking stuff and i still hadn't processed it because i don't process it by internalizing i was processed by externalizing and then last night he went to bed, and I was like, oh, finally I can just fucking talk freely about this,

and I just started fucking offloading me day onto Cullen, and he was like, class cracker, and then he was like, shut the fuck up please, and I felt so bad, because I was like, if you're awake to the point that that's keeping you up,

that means you should be down here, and you're having a drink, and you can't because you're off the drink no i was like i ideally in an ideal world you would have fucking had a whiskey with her last night and had a bit of a spliff last night with her and you didn't have that option it's like a release valve i didn't i did not want to calm down uh i was i was completely and utterly wholeheartedly fucked over by several people that were meant to have my best interests at heart. And I do not want those feelings to go away

because I do not want them to be minimalised. I was actually texting Neil about it quite a bit yesterday because he's... Wouldn't have happened if he was here. That's what I was saying to him and all I was going, because Neil is so fucking good at his job, man. And I was texting him because even though I'm, like, I'm texting Natalie in the group chat with my mates and all that, right,

who are comics, who understand what it's like to be on the road, he is the one person in the world who knows exactly what we've just went through. And he knows exactly what it's like to be on the floor, right? And I was saying to him yesterday, like, we are conditioned to trust the process. So when we've got this fucking spreadsheet if you've got to be here for then you've got to be in southampton for this logan air flight

thing we've got a taxi there right we just trust that process when we get to southampton the flight hasn't existed since august and you're just like what the fuck do we do now and then like we have to get a taxi to a flight that we'll miss that's what we're days right neat that wouldn't have happened under neil neil would have realized that there was storm warnings and stuff right and he would have checked the flights just to make sure everything's going on time he would have he would have fucking checked us in the day before you would have checked us in the day before so what i was saying to him is we're conditioned to trust the process and he is part of the process a massive part he's the biggest part of the process for us and if you take that away but continue to trust the process

then you're trusting something that isn't there Well I mean it's also, look let's not get into it Yeah let's not get into it too much but what got us on to it? What about Neil? Last night you drinking too loud Oh yeah that yeah and me being

off the booze genuinely sorry about that because that's not what you want when you've had a bad day and you're sober

I'm very glad I went to sleep because when I woke up this morning I was still fucking angry like they want to

take out on you because I'm very aware that when I internalise a fucking bad mood I know I don't ever take out on Cara. I was like, cause I'm very aware that like when I internalize a fucking bad mood, like I, I know I don't ever take out on Cara and I'm like, right,

do that. That thing you've got there, do that to everyone else. Try not to take out on everyone else. So. I have to be self-sufficient because sometimes you take it out on me a little bit, like just with your attitude, because you have one attitude,

everyone's getting hit. Right. And I'm like, oh no, no, we're on the same team here. We're going through this together. Like this isn't just a you against the world thing.

but we're processing it differently. So differently. Very, very differently. I do not like, I don't like getting problems out there. I don't want to solve the problem with you because neither of us are the cause of the fucking problem.

And venting just releases the steam. And sometimes it's important, it's not, I want the fucking anger in there so that I can be as honest and as brutal to the people that fucked me over as I can be

I don't want any of that I don't want people to laugh at it you don't want any compassion I don't want you don't want to humanise the people you're mad at at any point

you know what for the past fucking 10 years stuff like this has consistently fucking happened and I've brushed it off and that's why it continuously happens and you haven't really

brushed it off you've ended up in therapy because of it you've actually built yourself back up not brushing it off, you've pieced yourself back together after it. Yeah and in all honesty like just with the way this tour has been organised this fucking year I am very

openly, I'm at the end of, I'm burnt out now, that's me completely and utterly burnt out, I'm going to do and and perform this most of the shows that i'm booked in to do we are going to be rescheduling some of the shows uh i'm sorry if that disappoints you but it is it's for mental health reasons it's base celebrity base mental health reasons can't be bad um uhers we're going to be rescheduling shows because if I do those shows

I will fucking kill myself I will drink a bottle of whiskey on stage and I will just yell and cry and piss and moan because I have been overworked and I don't want to be

overworked anymore the product being recalled that's what's happened if the gig's being cancelled it's like a product faulty you get a con there's a technical difficulty that's causing the happened. If the gig's being cancelled, it's like a product's faulty, you get a con, there's a technical difficulty

that's causing the airbag to go off in the face of the customer, right? The product gets fucking recalled, it gets fixed, and it gets put back on the fucking production line. The product's nearly to the point that it's broken,

that the gigs won't be to the best of our ability. Because our ability is better. I do not, there's so many times during X I walked on stage and I fucking hated the audience for making me be there

and I never ever and I made a vow after X that I never wanted to feel that way again now fortunately I'm at the moment where I don't but I now know my limits I now know what I'm capable of and some of the shows later on this year are going to be rescheduled for next year

because if you were to make me go ahead with them, I'm telling you right now, I would fucking despise you. And I would give you not a good performance. I would give you an angry performance. Not a funny Daniel Sloss angry rant performance. Like I am bitter and jaded and I've lost my love of my favourite thing.

Do you know, I posted the tour schedule as we got back on it in Brighton right like this is the run that we've got coming up and you know your uncle Scott's friend Mick the Perth he comes to the gigs in Perth every year he spotted how fucked up the tour was and that would get straight back

on it. It's amazing how we can notice it and the public can notice it but the people who are allegedly meant to have our best interest at heart and one of the largest it, but the people who are allegedly meant to have our best interests at heart and one of the largest touring companies in the entire world who's meant to have our back cannot see what literally everyone else can see. It's mind-boggling.

He pointed out on social media, like, do these people not care about you? No, no, they do not. And he didn't say our day yesterday. No. Mick, I can objectively tell you, they don't. And I thanked them for spotting me Aye

I thanked them for noticing me I was like Mate thanks Like I appreciate that you spotted that Yeah They don't care They say they care Because that's what you're meant to say

To save face with your clients who are angry at you But Not a single Single part of this December tour was booked with us in mind I was saying you know I don't know how much of this fucking dirty laundry No no no

the rest of it we'll do off fucking camera we've done enough at this fucking point you've still not answered my oh no you have answered my question you want to prick all of the American Airlines staff aye so they slowly bleed to death? Are you staying there for it?

I actually got humanity out at one last because it was like every stage of the way after, you know, we got, because we haven't done a podcast since where a flight got cancelled to come home. The worst. The absolute worst case fucking scenario in the world. The flight got cancelled to come home

and it didn't get cancelled while we were in the hotel it got cancelled while we were on the internal flight and I know at home you're like why was the flight cancelled they never told us

they just decided they say it was a maintenance fault but I can guarantee you didn't sell enough tickets didn't sell enough tickets and American Airlines are heartless fucking bastards

they were like let's just merge today's flight onto tomorrow's flight they basically done that didn't they? So it was 24 hours later I had to have it.

But, no, but like, we got off the plane from the internal flight and nobody gave a fuck that our flight had been cancelled. Nobody was like,

oh, let us fix that for you. We were treated like we'd made the mistake. Yeah. Yeah, it was like we'd missed the flight. Like,

as if we'd missed the flight or forgot our ticket or passport or something like that. They, and I was trying to appeal like we'd made the mistake. Yeah. It was like we'd missed the flight. As if we'd missed the flight, I forgot what ticket or passport or something like that. And I was trying to appeal for humanity at every step of the way. I was like trying to attack them. Like, you can't. Well, this is the problem with, and to be fair,

it's not just American Airlines. American Airlines is one of the worst examples of it. But I was talking to Roo and he was just like, you have to understand, American Customs Service is some of the worst in the fucking world and this is why you get fucking these are places that you're not getting a tip so you see the true colors yeah yeah and if they're

not working for tips they're not and they're just devoid of fucking empathy because the mask doesn't just slip it fucking hits the floor and they kick it across and show you their fucking face it's it's why I'll never fucking understand any American that's like, man, I fucking hate these customer service things where they outsource all their guys to India. I don't want to speak to a guy in India. Why am I speaking to a guy in India?

Because everyone in Connecticut is a fucking cunt. That's why. The reason, the reason, the reason. Perfectly wholesome place. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The reason America outsources customer service to India Is because Indians are nice

And don't get me wrong It's also because it's cheaper labour and capitalism Is an inherently evil thing But the Indians on the other line Are just, they're friendly They're nice They solve your problems They want the good feedback

They want the positive feedback whereas an american customer they just could not give a fucking shit because every single american is the star of their own movie and that's it because when you grow up in a in a in a country which is just that much of like anyone of you can be the, anyone of you can be the president, anyone of you can be a fucking celebrity, and it's all, you know, media be number one, all this fucking shit. It just breeds this level of, I'm the center of the fucking world.

Everything I, and everyone is a character. And if I'm mean to someone, that doesn't matter, because the second, they've also, they've almost got, what's the thing that babies,

object permanence. I don't think many Americans have object permanence. And that's the thing that babies... Object permanence. I don't think many Americans have object permanence. And that's the peekaboo thing. If there's something not in the field of vision, it's gone. It's gone, yeah, yeah, yeah. It never existed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Americans will just be like, the second of human beings out of my eye, they're dead.

So I don't need to be nice to them, because they don't live... Everyone's an NCP. They just stop rendering them once they go around the corner once somebody is no longer in my life they're no longer a part person so there's no consequences so why would i have to be nice to them i also and obviously not you no no i did say on stage this year not you dad i did say I did say this year on stage, I was like, you know, Americans are really nice, and I've always said

Americans are really, really nice. That's one of my favourite things about Americans, how friendly they are. And I'll be honest with you, this trip, that fucking disappeared. Nah, not at all. Like, do me wrong, there weren't nice Americans. Are your fans a pocket of people, like, because they're so lovely, man. People were, like, bringing, like, thoughtful gifts. there were nice Americans but it's no are your fans a pocket of people like the the

because they're so lovely man people who are like bringing like thoughtful gifts and stuff out things we can travel with and like perishable stuff there are nice Americans

but it's no longer the norm perishable stuff being spliffs and like stuff that you can like the knitted the knitted Peggy the knitted body warmer for Peggy

oh my fucking god how fucking somebody made me a really really cool custom made Dungeons and Dragons The knitted Peggy. Danielle, the knitted body warmer for Peggy. Oh my fucking God. How fucking... Somebody made me a really, really cool custom-made Dungeons & Dragons DM box. And then somebody also made me, like, really cool D&D dice with, like, my jokes in the middle. Don't get me wrong. There are literally millions of very nice Americans.

Amy bought Maddox a pincer match. Like, bought a pincer dog collar but it's I now no longer believe that the average American is nice and actually speaking

to so many Americans over there so I just felt bad that the folk with that mentality are getting hit with the same broad stroke and you're just like

oh there's some actually really caring loving people out there but yeah but these are the ones they don't like lit eye a day no no

they're like we've had to find them by having a platform and bringing them to us they're not they're not you walking around the street americans and they're the ones that point out because they were the ones like americans after the show the ones that we come smoke splits with us we're like we can't believe you think americans are nice americans are assholes and i was like no man like you guys are all so friendly and i was obviously just using them as an example because my impression of Americans are- Them and waitresses who want money.

Yeah, that's my impression of Americans are my fans. And that, so I'm like, all Americans are lovely and friendly. And then we got a brief view of what it was, what actual most Americans are like. And to any American that told me that I was full of shit for thinking all Americans were nice, I you were right I was that was an incorrect generalization

for me to make a harmful generalization for me to make not all Americans are nice many of them are probably a hundred million of them which is a lot but, there's 300 million of them altogether. That's bad stats. Aye. I found as well, you know, I mean, we've been on the UK tour for three days now, and we've only done one gig. But in that one gig, because of all the fuck-ups, in that one gig in Brighton, I felt a little bit refreshed by it, because as much as I love the American audiences, they were good for the

ego. Just say it was nice to perform to a real audience again. They knew how to be an audience. Just say it was nice to perform to a real audience again. That's what you mean? Yeah, it's not. Look, it's It was nice to gig to a real audience

again. In America, it was like having a thousand hype men you couldn't see your age without them cheering your age. So I I'm 31 I'm 31 Yeah!

Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up and then I was putting ketchup on my chips and they're like I've heard of ketchup I've heard of ketchup but why are you putting ketchup on my chips and they're like, I've had a ketchup. I've had a ketchup. But why are you putting them on chips? You made the excellent point. America does not allow for pregnant pauses at all.

Which is why, man, which is why I could never have filmed X in America at all. Man, I could barely get through fucking X in Boston. Because when you're trying to fucking build this tension in an audience of like, you know, we've been laughing for a bit and now we're going on to like a serious

bit and you don't know where the next punchline is coming from the power and the fucking skill comes from keeping that silence there but because Americans are so terrified of being alone with their own thoughts you got a booger I've been trying to get rid of it now on the sly I can feel it because didn't eat it there was somewhere to put it

I just think they just cannot be in those moments when you're like building tensions like British people will just sit there and be like

oh god like where's this going Aussies will be like oh my what's he gonna anyone else whereas Americans are like

there's silence that can't be a good thing yeah please please and i i beg you i beg you if in america if you come to my shows in the future if you see anyone whooping or near you or friend please stop them don't be rude about it but just go just so you know it's i listen to his podcast and he objectively fucking despises when people woo it's the

rudest thing it's the most disruptive thing so please please police it if you're on my show in America and somebody

roos politely turn around and go just let you know he hates that so much and he won't say it because he's too polite

but he fucking hates it it's a conscious noise that's why it's not an involuntary noise yes you know like the involuntary like laughter is like the audible expression of joyousness that comes from the overload of endorphins that you've triggered in the brain yeah right and and and sometimes if that gets too much you need to do something with the rest of your body and your hands start clapping because it's overflowed yeah right and i feel like the the clapping and the laughing's like this involuntary response so that means the person's completely relaxed into your company and they're letting you take them on a journey and and anything

that's more than that like the whooping or heckling or anything that's a conscious decision that isn't a natural reaction to what you're doing it's just fucking rude it feels fake it is fake it feels fake and as I was saying it's good for your ego that like it's the strip I pretend

I fancy so if you suspend your disbelief you're fucking going to have a Bill that time in America whacking her on the stage

six inches off the air while they're whooping at you and all that which is why so many pish American comedians think they're class aye the reason Joe Rogan thinks he's good at comedy Which is why so many Pesh-American comedians Think they're class Aye

Aye The reason Joe Rogan Thinks he's good at comedy Is because He can hump a stool And they're gonna whoop Cause it's not making them laugh You guarantee they're not laughing there

You guarantee they're not overloaded With endorphins and laughing But they will whoop I'd fucking love More than anything To see Joe Rogan Play the Edinburgh Festival I would love

like do you know he'd say alright he'd get them in Kew and Hall and he'd bring Alderang Sorts into Edinburgh and then they'd overflow

into the fucking rest of the gigs no no no you'd end up with fucking Nick Helm playing with a bunch of Joe Rogan fans

and they'd spoil his gig he'd bring in his own audience but again he would bring in his own British version of that audience and even the British version of his audience

doesn't exist there's no whoopers in Britain those don't exist right and even even like the fucking dregs of our society here know how to react to the gig

know how to react to that well that's not true fucking Kevin Bridges fans are the worst they want to be spotted they want to be seen by him in a room with 10,000 people Kevin Bridges

announced his like his first tour in so long and we've got friends Gareth Wassom at the stand the other week and we were just like

man his new material is fucking phenomenal I really want to see Kevin live because I think Kevin's one of the the best place to see him live is when he's

trying new material at the stand I want to see when it's a hot ticket not when it's the man if seeing Kevin live in in a

in a auditorium or an arena is horrific because his fans are just not all of them but 5% of them

are scum of the fucking earth who have never been in a live show and they just want to make it and they get too drunk they get fucking coked up they take fucking ecstasy I think they're at the dot live show and they just want to make it and they get too drunk they get fucking coked up they take fucking ecstasy I think they're at the darts

aye aye and they and man I've heard so many stories of Kevin having to go off fucking and I can't imagine

like if I get annoyed at whoopers I can't imagine what it's like to be Kev up on stage just go shut the fuck up because he plays such big gigs and stuff

I reckon they get drowned out I think it's more annoying for the people that are sat next to them man he's walked off stage several times at loads of gigs like on his last tour

because of his audience just would not shut the fucking fuck up did I tell you I had a couple of pints with him that day oh you did aye I was at the

Kelvin Grove Cafe because it was class because we were meeting up with one of Natalie's pals who works at Secret Escapes old job and she'd come up just to get away from London you know I just need to get out of London and spend some time in Edinburgh come through to do to do the Billy Connolly like tour of the

Murials I didn't even know they were there but there's loads of artwork of Billy Connolly she's a big comedy fan and then she come in Murials Murials that's a Murial yeah that's an old lady that's an old lady's name. Muriel's wedding. Muriel. Muriel. There's a question for you. When do you reckon the last Muriel was born? Nobody's bringing Muriel back. Nah.

No, that's not true. It could be a bit of a hipster name, couldn't it? Yeah, Tory hipsters. You think so? Yeah. This is Muriel. Ah, yeah, like fucking... Aye.

People that live in like... People that go to the Henley Regatta. Aye. Aye. So I went having a pint a pint with her just a couple of hours having an old fashioned as it happens

old fashioned man or woman oh that was the funniest we've told that story enough haven't we aye do we need to tell it again nope then Kev came in with his dog and his Ben

and Peggy was there and the dog started playing with each other and I was chatting to Kev and he went and sat doing another thing and he just he just came out and just went

just wanted to come and have a pint with us and we went and sat doing another thing and he just, he just cut my line and just went, just wanted to come have a pint with us and I went and chatted to them and it was built up for Natalie's pile because like, that was just class for her. It's Kevin Bridges. For me it was a catch up with a maid. Aye.

But for her it was just like fucking wide eyed. Like, this is class. My point originally, so even if, even if all the Kevin Bridges, I don't think there's,

will be much of a crossover between Bridges and Joe Rogan, maybe there will be. Joe Rogan would still be found out, man. He'd still be found out. If he'd done the fringe? Yeah, 100%. I think you're right.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think he could put on a show in each town and get the right audience. He'd get his USC fans. Yeah, he'd fucking sell it. But if he was to do a run of shows for 30 days to comedy fans poo poo, stinky poo poo it's going to be one or two of them gigs where he looks

at himself oh no I don't think he's capable of self reflection he's not a man who looks at a mirror we need to have like like, a button now for the fucking Danny Hates Joe Rogan section. Fucking despise him so much.

It's every SP3 podcast name. I fucking hate him. I fucking hate him. He's just such a thick, unfunny cunt. I'm going to bring back Muggle Corner to put myself in it by saying he lives rent-free in your head. He does?

He lives rent-free in your head. He does? But that is one of the most Muggle corner comments in the entire world i don't want him to but i just keep man like i turned off i stopped watching the news last year i came off of twitter last year and facebook and everything just because man i know i get easily wound up right and and it's on me like at one point i just have to admit and be like look is the world annoying or do i just get annoyed like what's and realistically it's me i get annoyed by things so i'm just gonna try and be less annoyed by

things i'm gonna remove these things like i thought the news was gonna make me smarter it didn't it made me angrier and more scared i thought twitter would allow me to stay in contact with my fans and people i like it didn't it made me angry and scared what's this that's is that my phone i'm sorry i'mprofessional piece of shit I'll ring you back, Dean Dean and I are listening I'll have already spoke to you by the time you listen to that I'm not ignoring you

I've completely forgotten my point It was from Renfrew in the head Oh, you've stopped watching the news oh yeah stopped reading social media but for some

fucking reason I just still keep hearing about Joe Rogan and don't get me wrong I think why was it I think Joe Rogan is often fucking

misrepresented in the media like people will do what I fucking hate people doing in the comics out of context

out of context tiny little 30 second clip of Joe Rogan saying that and that's never fair. Or like spliced together bits of him. Yeah. If anybody took a real fucking like a real

vitriolic dislike to us they could stitch together some wank from the podcast. Yes of course and that's what many people have done is to misrepresent. Joe Rogan is a smart man. He is a brilliant interviewer. His knowledge of the UFC he's a great UFC commentator of all time

Tread in old ground aye I'm just saying like we've done this have we like I just I'm so sick of

of just seeing him being like and now he's got Alex Jones back and here's Ben Shapiro and you're like we've got to get off this

mate I'm going to be I'm going to be proactive and just go on this is the third time we've had this conversation in three podcasts fine I just

I wish I could stop saying him it's also because Elliot's a fan and I respect Elliot so much as a comedian apart from that it's very hard to explain I'm like Elliot

you've been a better stand-up than Joe Rogan since you were 19 years old aye to change the subject let's talk about how did you enjoy getting home Elliot, you've been a better stand-up than Joe Rogan since you were 19 years old. Aye. To change the subject, let's talk about how did you enjoy getting home, even though it was for a couple of days?

Did you like being back? Aye. What was Ray and Cara like for their reunion? Well, so, the longest Ray's ever gone without Kara, apart from before she knew Kara existed, but once Kara came into her life Rey suddenly was aware that she was actually a goddess who was

worthy of all praise all the time and me and Cullen don't give Rey as much attention as Kara think Rey needs so Rey was, bless Cullen he was giving her daily

Rayly updates on what she was up to and then we sort of came back and she was just she'd been with Cullen she'd been sleeping with him

the entire time and we go back and Ray doesn't give a fuck that I leave I'm in and out all the time I am just like I'm somebody

that's occasionally in the house that's really good at stroking that will feed her but if I disappear alright he's dead yeah you're just like i'm somebody that's occasionally in the house that's really good at stroking that will feed her but if i disappear all right he's dead yeah you're just like another cat oh yes a hundred percent another cat but a cat that she likes and she was very excited when i came back in the morning i came downstairs she was like oh we do the couch thing every morning which is i come down have my breakfast and then i'll lie on the couch and i'm always like just read for 45 minutes at the start of your day because that way you've read for 45 minutes and then hey i'm smart or at least i feel smart yeah you start your day it's a good uh good habit to get into reading before you touch your phone i that's how i spent

a lot of lockdown when i was on a mental health offensive to just try and fucking keep the water from taking the boat under you first start of the day i was really trapped by the book before you even get your phone. So she'd jump up and she's lying standing beside me. She's like, this is great. We come in. She is very angry at Kara. Kara goes to pick her up

and Ray loves being picked up because it makes her feel like a human being and she's at eye level. Didn't like being picked up. Ran away from Kara and then when me and Kara were standing on the couch, made a real fucking point to go and lie with Cullen, which she never does.

Like, the whole thing is, she'll just always go to Cara. I find this hysterical. Ray forgives me instantly, because I've not slighted her. I haven't betrayed her by leaving. I always leave. Yeah.

But then also... It's not out of the normal. So do you think Ray held a bit of a grudge, like, fucking leave me? Well, yeah, but she could only keep the grudge going for so long because me and Cullen will never give her

the attention that she is this a real thing or is this projected upon as humans putting their own emotions oh definitely that yeah yeah so if the cat wanders off

the cat was just always going to wander off whether I should left or not but now she's like oh you're wandering off because I left you no no no

no I will no there is when Cara comes back from like a day away from the shop Ray will run to her Oh, you weren't running off because I left you? No, no, no, no. I will... No. There is... When Cara comes back from a day away from the shop, Ray will run to her. Ray's always happy to see Cara. And if Cara gets up from the couch and walks away,

Ray will follow her. She's Cara's shadow. And when she came back, she was... Man, normally she comes upstairs and sleeps with us. And every morning, Cara goes downstairs. And if Ray hasn't slept with us and every morning cara goes downstairs and if ray hasn't slept with us she'll be down just on the bench in the in the living room and then she'll run to get fed by cara day one that we come back ray hasn't come up during the night and we go downstairs and she's not there and like cara is just a whole the systems have changed yeah and

she's yelling down she's like ray because she knows she's in color's room and i just want some routine back i just want me can't be ray's not Ray! Because she knows she's in Colin's room. Karen just wants her routine back. She's like, I just want my cat to be. Ray's not coming upstairs. And the reason she's not. And so Colin eventually comes up. Because Karen's just yelling for the cat to come upstairs. And we're like, oh, has she been with you all night? And he's like, no, no.

She came down at half seven, which is the time when Karen normally goes down. So Ray knew that Karen was coming downstairs. And she's like, I'm not going to be here for this. No, fuck you. Aren't it? Wow. Peggy, do the same. I don't know. I love Ray. Just before we get on to Peggy. knew Carol was going to come down and just be like I'm not going to be here for this no fuck you aren't I wow Peggy do the same I don't know

I love Ray just before I get on to Peggy I love Ray how like because she remembers me as well I've lived I've known her for fucking years

six years maybe five or four actually because I think yeah there's a gosgube yeah in your previous accommodation and then

she comes she spots it she gets up she walks over but not all the way over she comes up walks up and went

do the rest I'm going to maintain some dignity here no Peggy had no dignity none no Peggy fucking

launched herself it actually she launched herself in you and Cara as well she remembered you too not quite not quite as dramatically but still it was and Cara as well she remembered you two not quite as dramatically but still

it was nice to see that she remembered you and she was happy to see you and she tried to give Ray the same treatment as well but held her back that would not be

well received I've never seen I don't think Ray's ever got her claws out but she's slapped yeah she'll slap but Peggy doesn't seem

like somebody that's going to be Peggy's getting bigger now as well so it's a bit more problematic bigger nah she's still

tiny my first thing was just like look how big she is and then you see her in comparison to

when Bridges brought his Labrador still a tiny dog and I'm like I'm not going to be able to spin my way out of this one.

But she's been lovely. She's been class. And just fucking threw herself at us. And just wouldn't stop. She was like fucking... I thought she was going to hurt herself. If anyone's on social media, I think I can say it on my Instagram.

Put it on. Instagram put it on before we go I know we finished the American podcast a while ago but generally to everyone that came out to the shows in America

it was such a phenomenal tour as much as we'll slag off your country and your people and all that fucking what a belt of time we had yeah

and you know it always comes from just a place of we've just been there too much and we're tired it was so fucking good

there wasn't a single fucking bad gig there wasn't a bad crowd there was a couple of bad experiences but

that was just like travelling and that happens in the job and thank you for letting us vent about bad experiences

because that's what I love about this podcast is we're like we're living this fucking weird life it's an extraordinary life that we're living we're venting about our bad experiences because that's what I love about this podcast is we're like we're living this fucking weird life it's an extraordinary life that we're living

we're very lucky we're getting to open the window into our world twice a week for an hour and just take you with us and share our experiences with you and even if that is us fucking whinging about stuff like thanks for letting me vent aye and then also

and if it's not for you fully fair enough I mean we do numbers fluctuate on this fucking piece of shit oh also just as a friendly thing as a

plug for another podcast what's upset you now with Paul McCaffrey and Sean Walsh is brilliant it's they've basically done

the concept of the podcast or what I think what they were trying to do which was you know the conversations you have down with your mates down at the pubs they're like

it's a window into that so what they do is they record a 25 minute podcast with you where they're just like what's upsetting you now and you just rant with them and you complain

and then the whole podcast is 15 minutes long they just say like 15 minutes there's no intro there's no outro there's just

you tune in halfway through what's complaining about things so at the start the conversation then press record made conversation no no no

you record for 25 and they'll pick 15 out of that essentially ah so it's a short yeah and it's a great short so if you

you know how podcasts are traditionally like an hour long and maybe your commute isn't an hour long if you want a lovely fucking 50 minute podcast for like cooking

cleaning it's so funny their guests are amazing they've had like Stuart Lee and Tom Allen if that means it's like it's a surmountable task

to backdate it yes to listen back through it aye oh but they've only got like three seasons out so I probably man I've consumed

that means you can get up to speed aye and I the reason I bring it up is because I was lucky enough to get to go on it earlier on today and we had such a good fucking laugh and what was your um argument that you went

over uh i was hotel breakfasts hotels staff that come in uh before i've checked out uh and and little cups of uh you know the little fucking glasses you get at hotel breakfasts and some other stuff, go listen to it it'll be out soon like more grapes aye, and just rants we've got some shows coming up and obviously

there will be some shows being rescheduled I appreciate your understanding and if you don't understand, tough I'm exhausted I'm tired and it's not for my mental health base motherfucker

for my mental health it's not us it's like this shitty thing happens where like if anything needs to be changed or moved it looks like we've

let our fans down and that's the way when it's actually when it's actually somebody that you've never seen in your life and wouldn't recognise if you walked past them in the street that's let you down

yeah they've just gone you can see the face of that yeah and that's what they do they go imagine how much you're going to let down

your fans I'm not letting down my fans you're letting down my fans because you booked a bad tour and we'll probably fucking even get a slap on the wrist for being authentic

right now and talking about it couldn't give a shit couldn't give a fucking shit fire me