Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Ep. 52 Best Muggle

Episode Date: May 28, 2017

Muggins and Cream briefly reunite as they both cross paths in London. Daniel tries to throw Kai under the bus with mugglery surrounding the wedding but Kai has an ace in the hole to out Daniel as the muggle of all muggles! 

Sloss and Humphreys on the road! Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin', livin' the dream. That's our intro. Fuckin' muggles! Ticklin' the clit inside your head that makes you laugh. Woohoo! They said it can't be done! Oh, in the same seats? That's hack!

Aww, muggles! Accidental ripjob in the park. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Or might just be cynical. Just muggled it up on fuckin' Mugglepedia! Where have you been since 9-11? You and I belong together. Dan and Kai forever and ever.

Your family streams. Marking's head cream. Is it home and away? Is it? Does it not go no matter where you are? Is that a different song? I wasn't going to get on forever. I didn't want to get into forever I was going to do a full

Oh my god Just cut into the chase You know Get the point People keep trying to do My intro You and I've been listening

Aye You know You're not happy with the Well I just You know what I mean Fraud What Just fraud

Everyone that's listening It's not fraud He has you Or Gareth Or Tom Trying to do the I think you think You've got a lot more fans of the intro

I think you think the intro's bigger Than There's some people there That heard me singing And just went Oh guess who's back I never left But you did

And they leave yeah Yeah I mean they're wrong That proves how stupid Your fans are in this podcast Can we just While we're talking about songs Well hold on First of all

Can we just go back to the start And be like Welcome to the podcast It's another reunion episode with Dio Sloss and Kai Humphries on the road. What was your point? So when you and Gareth... I mean, if anyone's just tuned in now

and they didn't listen to last week's episode, Gareth revealed that when he was 16, he was a button rapper. And he wasn't going down the gangsta route. He was doing straight-up love songs. Love rap. Under the rap name, rap alias of G-Tip. Yeah, of course.

Just the G-Tip. Just the G-Tip. And the lyrics were fucking brilliant. I mean, they were not. They were glorious and how bad they were. Hold on. See if I can remember. I really struggled to give it,

because I cannot stress how out of the blue that came to me on the podcast. I didn't know about that exist before. That happened naturally live, and I couldn't deconstruct it and insult it as much as i wanted to because i was just so happy that it existed let's do it now right buy a hundred roses and leave them at your door just to see your face i'd buy a hundred more if i said baby would you say more right there stop there you rhymed more with more aye three bars deep he ran out of stuff

that rhymed with more yeah even though his name is Gareth Waugh he was sitting on the final rhyme oh but later on he says

I'm going to buy you a nice little crib just offshore right and then after that he goes he's got something about who am I going to

hold hands with when I walk in the zoo aye how are they going to get to the zoo if they live offshore get the boat through yeah

Noah's Ark peer in the arse peer in the arse and now we've got this lovely crib just offshore but zoo table

I know why you're changing the subject to try and rinse Gareth I know what the entire ploy was here to try and make it go into Gareth's wrap this is very noteworthy we're in your place

we're in Natalie's house which is your house? I'm getting the best out of this deal where do you live most of the time? here this year I would say Australia no but you're on a boat. Well,

when I have time off, I come to my girlfriend's house. Right, where you live, where all your stuff is. Where you leave your stuff when you travel. Yeah, well.

Right, so this is your place. On your joined coffee table. I mean, it's not in Kat's coffee table. I mean, I couldn't leave you out with it. Where'd you go to get your stuff,

Kat? Because we're in the most of the way. cat's coffee table I mean I couldn't leave you out with it why'd you call yourself cat because when the mouse is away when the mouse is away yeah mousey prone when the mouse is away the cat will flick oh thank god that mouse isn't here

I've fucking been run off my feet all day just gonna sit down put me paws up and jump on loose pussies loose pussies oh man google that

I mean definitely don't so on your joint I don't know if I was watching what did I think this is something that genuinely happened I just want to point out

this is just more stalling for you after watching Snatch when I first watched it I didn't know who Jason Statham is obviously I do now because I've seen

plenty of Jason Statham movies but at the time Statham Statham Statham Statham right so I wanted to find out

who this actor was in Snatch what's his name in Snatch Turkish type in Turkish Snatch in Google see what you get I mean that's definitely not him.

It's not Jason. Yeah, Jason Statham's bald. Anyway, back to the thing that you're intentionally trying to avoid. Oh, so I've been in Dubai. You can't avoid it. Do you know I love my trip? I don't give a fuck about your trip. I give a fuck about what is... I mean, this is new to me too. Oh, don't give a fuck about your trip I give a fuck about what is

I mean this is new to me too oh don't give me that shit is this fuck there's pages folded over I mean I folded

them over but right so you found something not these coffee tables yeah something that belongs to

the bit of you that didn't even exist either right so we've got The wedding Venues and fashion magazine The April, May, June 2017 edition

With 589 plus Gorgeous ideas For delicious cakes Stylish invites Pretty flowers Hot shoes Sounds uncomfortable And sparkly accessories

Natalie says we're not Going to wear shoes At the wedding Oh really Yeah She wants to go to Barefoot Oh he's on the beach

I guess yeah that's a bit I mean so rip that page out put it in the bin man there's so many

things in here that I'd like to right my first favourite article title which this is clearly I know I don't want to be

sexist here but from what I've read so far in this magazine it's largely aimed at women is the wedding going to be

about hair who thought right I went to the contents page at the start right walking up and down the corridor the only thing i can see with the word grooms in it right is groom style they've got bridesmaids assy experts for all of it talking about capes take a bow or talking about bows floating on air romantically rustic all this other fucking let's not lie about the demographic. No dude's picking that up off the shelf. Well, why is it in your house? That's my point. So, clearly you did.

And it set you back £4.99. What? Going all out. We're going to have to remove a guest. There are more pages in here. Here's the groom style thing, right? It's two pages. There's more pages dedicated to the perfect pout.

She's going to pout at the wedding because she's two pages. There's more pages dedicated to the perfect pout. Pout? She's going to pout at the wedding because she's fucking miserable. There's more pages about her lips than there is about me. Aye.

Because you've got no lips. I smoke your top lip. Aye. Anyway, so my favourite article so far in this one with no hint of a joke at all is called In The Pink.

Yeah? Aye. The next one's called Two In The Stink. But my favourite bit is there's a chocolate and cake website

where you can buy the cakes and I think it's your nickname for Natalie I think that's why she's folded over this page because the website is www.chockywalkydooda is that what you call her

finally I like the mistake calling her chockywalkydooda I'm going to go back and have a go at the chockywalkydooda if you know what I don't know if you just think I'm a Chucky Wucky Duda. I'm going to go back and have a go at the Chucky Wucky Duda if you know what I mean. You know what I mean.

So are you claiming that you're not involved in any of this? Nah. I didn't even know this magazine existed. Oh, look at you fainting.

Oh, what's this? I mean, I've just put my fingerprints over it now so that I can't get forensics to check it. Well, I touched it after you noticed it Natalie's just been to a beach party to check out venues

I wish she said she was dead the hot neighbour? the wedding planner he had three hot dog legs in the photo. Has Frank Futter hurt her? Oh, God. Oh, God. It's pretty good.

So you get married in Bifa? Is that right? Are you trying to pass off our holiday in a couple of months? Bifa's like, let's just scout me and the boys and do some wedding planning you know that holiday that we'll have every year boys

can we make this one totally about me well it's not even a good one about you it's gonna be two pages out of 700 yeah two pages out of 700 pages about her

do you know where you're gonna go on your honeymoon em you know what I was thinking blithe em oh man where's she from

look at you can marry her and send her back now I've got my green card green send her back I'm going to emigrate where is Oman? I know it's in the Middle East but how middle of the East?

I think it's like Amsterdam in the Middle East you're allowed to flush your ankles if you get stoned there, it's under very different circumstances. So, I'm not sure whereabouts. Apparently, a five-hour drive from Dubai. I don't know which direction.

Probably away from the coast. How would she know it's a five-hour drive from Dubai when they're not allowed to drive over there? I know I got told when I was there. It's about five hours drive away. Oh, okay. I just thought you meant she said it's a five-hour drive. I'm like, I've got bad news for you, Natalie.

Can Natalie not drive In her hometown I don't In some parts Definitely not I think Dubai They're not allowed to Nah

Yeah That's a lie Is it I don't know I think you're just making stuff up Oh there's definitely one It's like fake What's the game we used to play

Oh made up facts No true lies True lies True lies Definitely some of the Maybe it's just my ignorance But there's definitely a place Where women aren't allowed to drive

So it is Kind of odd out there, right? So I get there on this too. Have you been to Oman? I've never been. Oh, right. But just when I was chatting to people when I was out there, apparently it's gorgeous. Apparently it's a total honeymoon destination.

So it's when I get to Dubai, right? Are you going to take her to Oman for the honeymoon just so you can actually take her to Bali as well? Look, hey, we're going to where you're from why can't we go where I'm from half and half

it's fucking going to be a culture shocker we're visiting Blythe next week actually but back to my point when I get to Dubai getting to these

five star hotels and it's lovely and someone comes along and gets you a bag and you just get there's more staff than guests but then it just

gets to a while where you've been there like a week and you're like I feel a bit awkward about just all these filipino dudes just running around after us yeah it goes from being like oh that's nice thank you sir oh that's nice to like oh i have people oh yeah you feel like i i noticed it when i was in uh singapore like you get into the hotel like can i take this thing for you like oh that's quite nice and then it's just everywhere you go you're like oh, oh, now I just feel like a fucking dick.

I get solace in, like, I kind of come to terms with it by chatting to a few of the guys that were over from the Philippines. They have got a different system for how they live. So, like, when I'm speaking to this guy, Ken, he was telling me that he's away from his kids. And, like, so he's at work the whole time, and his kids are back home, and I'm like, do you not miss them? And then I found out a bit about his culture,

is what they do is the grandparents raise the children So he's out working the whole time and his kids are back home. And I'm like, do you not miss them? And then I found out a bit about his culture. What they do is the grandparents raise the children while the working-age parents are in a different country working and sending money back. So this dude's got a quite affluent family with fucking three houses because he's sending money back. So he's graphing his fucking little socks off, right? Not seeing his kids. And I'm like, do you not miss your kids? But he's going to raise his kids' kids while his kids are out working so it just skips a generation and it's a good system because it looks after the elderly yeah they'd be astonished by the fact that we just put our folks in homes yeah and crack on you know so it's uh it's just a different culture for them and the fact that

like the kids there's like he says 85 to90% of the kids in his kids' school their parents are doing the same so it's not like his kids are just the one whose dad's away this is normal this is a different system so that made us feel

a bit better like that's just the way of their life well your dad was never there yeah he was working in a hotel in Dubai no one fool will

that you're not going to have grandkids oh I definitely need you obviously I saw my god kids today only one of them is my god kid

but the other one like if I just tell her if I just raise both of them telling them that I'm both their god parents

it's Milo's job to break it to one of them that I'm not just make him a very little shit dad well I said

actually when my latest god kid Abby was born born uh rouge rang us and he was just going i know uh you've got four god children already one of them being abby's older brother dylan uh he was like i don't want you to be on that too much pressure to have like too many birthdays and christmases and stuff i will look dude i'm not going to treat that any differently it's not like i'm going to rock up with christmas if dylan the present but not her yeah just because of the fucking church ceremony you know i'm going to rock up at Christmas and give Dylan a present, but not her. Just because of the fucking church ceremony.

I'm going to treat them both the same regardless. So I don't even sweat it. If you want Goddad for somebody else, it's fine. That's the case. Once he gets to 16, they can both fight for me. Just do that thing in the dark night where you snap a pool cue in half and just throw one of them in.

And be like, right, winner stays on when it gets to Goddad. This makes me fight it out I'm sure the ten year old boy will beat the three year old girl yeah probably yeah now that I think about it but you know what

so do you buy Ava and A both gifts well no because no call your uncle well Ava's not talking yet but does

no she just Ava just calls me Dan Dan oh the other day this is a fucking horrible uh in ages calls me uh uh dad oh well the other day it was this is a fucking horrible story but it made me laugh my eyes off i was down um this was actually a couple months ago i was down and i was sleeping in the uh in the spare room and an a in the morning was just at this age where she's got no concept of whispering in silence like decibels have not been explained so everything's just loud and shouting it's great I'm fine like I've dealt with kids

so she comes in she's excited that I'm there and Leslie's there and she makes me a coffee and we're just doing that thing you know when there's like a like happy kid

you have half having a conversation with a kid but then also just mainly talking so I'm just catching up with Leslie she's asking him

things are going occasionally and they'll run over and like hit me with a pillow or she does this thing where basically you snap no no

fuck off shut the fuck up sorry Leslie sorry I'm just snapping at Leslie shut the fuck up I'm playing pillows bitch

sorry and hey you were saying right I'm the dinosaur so at one point and hey just goes

she clearly heard the story of the three little pigs and the wolf. So she goes to blow it. She just goes and blows. And I pretend to fall over, and it's the funniest fucking thing in the world to her. Now this is actually quite a handy thing,

because I'm fully able to have conversations with Leslie during this time. Every couple of seconds, and they'll just run over, pretend to blow, and I'll fall back, and she'll laugh hysterically at all the fun we're having. So at one point, this is going on for a laugh hysterically, and all the fun we're having, right? So, at one point, this is going on for a bit, and it gets to, like, the third or fourth time,

and I don't go down, because I'm in the middle of this conversation, and then she calls me Dan Dan, and she calls herself Nay Nay, and she just goes, Dan Dan Dan, I'm like, I'll pay you three minutes, and she goes, Nay Nay, blow Dan Dan, Nay Nay, blow Dan Dan, and me and Leslie right

had that awkward moment where you're not allowed to laugh because if you laugh once they're gonna keep repeating it they're gonna keep

repeating that forever so we just got we just like no I'm more eh don't you eh

gusted gusted oh it's just dust me dust me gusted gusted aye

and it's like never say that again except for one more time when your dad walks in just give him a heart attack and I think that's why I'm not god dad to her yeah

out of the mouth babes into oh god oh hello we done we have done 15 minutes

I've just remembered I've got you a present oh what I've got you a present. Oh, what? I've got you a present. Did you? Yeah. Stop this camera. Stop this camera.

Right, he's gone away. I've got no idea. I genuinely have no idea what this could be. If I was to guess, laminated leaf. If anyone remembers that, if it is. You've got to explain to the podcast. Right. Oh, no. if it is you've got to explain the podcast right oh no

hold on hold on Daniel explain the morning Kai has bought me a

trolley token that says number one girlfriend on it and then on the other bit it says best muggle will you be my best muggle will you be my number one muggle oh you're asking me to be your best muggle

are you actually wait be your best man I thought I a jewellery box oh wait be your best man yeah thought I'd leave it for the podcast and make it

to be my best man actually yeah no thank god flat oh it's gonna be

I haven't asked Matty yet well I was just about to say I don't mind if you listen to this in your face because I was very

stoic right because I remember like a year ago having this conversation with you too you know we were talking about you proposing to nally and i was like i fully respect the fact that you know you've been friends with my for a longer time i really got with my i'm like uh there's no hard feelings if you you know you've also been best man at a bunch of other people's wedding you've got gaff your brother you've got all these people in your history that if you choose them over me

I understand nothing but as soon as I've just been asked get it all up you cunts yes I joined with Matty oh what

he doesn't know yet oh whoops so there's time to cancel him do you know what's the best do you know what I'm honestly most excited about this

I lost my trolley token. I know you did. So I got your new trolley token. Oh, thanks. I got number one girlfriend written on it because my number one girlfriend is now my fiancée

so you've been promoted. And I got best muggle on because you're my best muggle. But I'm asking Matty too but we need to work out how I'm going to... Because we need before the podcast drops

before he has this he'll need to find out that he is. Oh no, fighting for it. Yeah, Natalie sent us the screen caps of you saying, I've got to be good dad if you have a kid, because I know I'm not

going to be the best man, because he rhymed off a few people who have been a big part of my life. And she went, oh, put him out of his misery, and I was like, fuck that, I've got him exactly where I want him. It would be much better if you don't expect it. yeah totally but also me and natalie had the plan because uh at new year uh when we got absolutely fucking wasted me and me and your bird were down in my room with the door shut having a chat on the bed that's why you're my best man finished the job I couldn't closing the deal because I was like at that point

I didn't know we were going to propose but I was like me and Ali were very much in love both could be like if he doesn't do it soon I'll do it

I've got to step in here and I was like I don't think I'd ever be best man but happily if you want I'll be your maid of honour

and she was like I'll happily be my maid of honour so I've got to break some news to your missus tonight well you'll be wearing a dress a skirt, a kilt you're not wearing a kilt aye wedding party was a kilt right

you'll wear the same dishdash that was the big deciding point when I knew you were going to be You all wear the same dishdash? They're all wearing the same dishdash. That was the big deciding point when I knew you were going to be my best man, is when Natalie said the Muslim side of the family was coming. I was like, he's got to make a speech. Oh yeah, I'd like us all to raise a glass, no offense. Yous will get on like two buildings on fire. Oh no! can I have that

for the speech so yeah I've got so I'm gonna have because I've got like two sets of friends that are kind of they're kind of

integrated a bit but separate so I've got like my comedian friends and I've got my home homies home friends so I've got like

you and you and Matt you're my deputy generals looking after I got like you and, you and Matty and me deputy generals looking after them for like any stag doing or organising, right? Gav was the obvious choice for best man,

but I just had a chat with him. I was like, you're by my side anyway. You're my brother. You're already on the family table. You don't need a promotion. I was like, it's a good,

it looks like he should have been the shoe in, but I just had a chat with him. I was just like, let's get him back. Let's get the boys in alright fair one thanks there we are

you said no I just said your message you said no to the proposal you said no to the message I don't think I'm getting married I think this is all just me living in a world of delusion I can't believe

take your pills Kai you keep banging on about this when you put a magazine away I'll take a photo and put this up on Instagram but I can't believe you've actually got it

in a little box. Oh, you would need to give Natalie the box back. Is it? Wait. It's the thingy box. We need to get it.

Natalie's like... Is this the box that you literally tossed over and went, how about it? What do you reckon? Yeah.

It's the one you reckon box. Can I just also point out that that was how we discussed this. That's how you proposed Natalie. You didn't say get down on one knee. You tossed the box to her

and went, how about it? What do you reckon? What do you reckon? With this, you genuinely got down on one knee and gave it to to her and went how about it or what was it what do you reckon what do you reckon with this you genuinely got down on one knee and gave it to me I fucking

I've had a drill I've had a practice I had the dress rehearsal with Natalie I mean if that was the dry one why explains why I'm so wet you didn't even know

what would happen as well you were like it's his best muggle it was in a fucking engagement ring box I'm down on one knee I didn't go down

on one knee I just thought you were being a I just thought you were taking the piss out of my I'm genuinely touched

and I'm genuinely touching myself because it was like I've got like man it was it's I've got fucking

a ton of friends on it who I've been best friends with I've made the mistake of just getting like really close to like a lot of good people I wouldn't say. Ragger. Who I've been best friends with. I've made the mistake of just getting like really close to

like a lot of good people. I wouldn't call that a mistake. I've got yous on it. But it's not a mistake. It's great until you have to fucking pick one. It's like picking a fit of a child. It's really hard.

But just for everyone listening, it is me. What he's saying is it was really, really difficult but there was a clear winner. So I don't think I don't think I don't think it's fair to say

the rest of the dudes that were in the running you all lost but fair play to you very dear to me I've lived with you and Matty for a number of years

you've been my housemates but me and Matty also me we've been on the most holidays together and we've done tours we've done things but I saw Matty's

Matty's the second best man no I mean he's the second best man no I mean he's the second best man yeah should we just should we just let Matty find out via this

it would be funny if we just like you've given me this whole thing and he's just sat there right now being like because first of all

when you gave it to me and we didn't mention him he would have been livid for a bit we're going oh right oh so this is how I find out is it

yeah it is so because what I was going to do right I was going to because i've got to do it tomorrow but i'm not going to see him i don't want to do it in person but i want to do this on the podcast this goes out first i'm not going to see himself okay logistics were impossible for it i was thinking about getting flowers delivered of his work like a fucking big bunch oh yeah and then i'll and then i'll no no I'll send them Right and they'll just say The words commiserations What about you

Best man Should we just do it On the podcast Should we ask him now I do now Go on Matty I'm waiting for a response

Yeah It's as if he's just Sat at work going Yes guy Daniel's my best man You mug if he's just sitting there going, yes, guy. Daniel's my best man. You mug. Will you be my best man, Matty?

Should we just send him the flowers tomorrow? We'll send him the flowers. That's going to be a good wedding party because obviously there's going to be dressed the same. Me, you, Gav, Matty. It's the wedding party. I've got one other person that I've already asked

and he's already said yes to play a role in the wedding party I've got one other person That I've already asked And he's already said yes To play a role in the wedding Who? Ricketts is going to marry us Oh is he? Is he? He's going to Be the celebrant

Oh is he? So he's going to get He's going to do a vow He's not going to get ordained Because this is the thing right It turns out You know when you get married In Ibiza

It's like the ceremonial part But you have to do The legit part Yeah Like back home So you have to get the legit part, like back home, so you have to get properly ordained behind closed doors back home, so the wedding party

and the veneer of the wedding is in Ibiza, but the actual paperwork part of it is probably in Edinburgh or Glasgow or something, so we'll get that done there, so he can't do the proper thing, but in the ceremony,

that frees up a role because I don't need an ordained person to do it. It means anyone can do it so I just thought like he'd be quality at leading the service

yeah Rick is he gets so into the role so he's going to wear the same kilt as us but he's going to wear a black shirt and a dog collar kinky bitch

a leash so yeah I cleared that with him last Sunday he was no other mood he couldn't talk for laughing for ages Oh he's gonna

Man Like The Muslim side of the family Are gonna fucking hate this wedding Well I don't know It might be a bit of a culture shock for them Oh it totally is We're so liberal

And like I don't know how conservative they are I mean if they've raised Natalie They haven't They've lived no man Oh okay So they'd be coming over for more man. They've visited Natalie, and I made myself scarce.

Oh, have I ever told this story? I mean, Natalie's mum's going to be fine. How I upset... But the rest of her family... How I upset the bride's father, Andrew Maxwell's wedding. This is hilarious. This is one of the most accidental worst things I've ever done in my life. I want to know this happens, because I've been telling this,

but I don't know if I've been getting it right. Right. So, Adrian Maxwell, a comedian, a very, very good friend of mine, and his gorgeous, lovely wife now, Soraya. Soraya is Arabic from Egypt. Egypt, yep. So, they were getting married, and I was invited over to the wedding in Ireland,

so I obviously turned up in my kilt, and I was one of the only people there wearing a kilt. And I make a big point about never wearing boxers under the kilt, but Maxwell's young kids were there, and I knew there'd be other kids there, so I'm just like, especially if I'm the only person wearing a kilt, I'm a gust of wind away from becoming a sex offender right so i'm just like i'll not i'll wear underwear but i'm

sat at the table with all the uh bridesmaids like friends my mary and uh ella and whatnot and bella and stuff and they'll be like are you true scotsman true scotsman i'm like respectfully ladies no i'm not true scotsman because there's people you're wearing a product killed down your knees i was a kind of just like a little like three inch school girl just showing the bottom of my bum cheeks like you'll notice this when you have to wear a kill but you the famous thing when you sit down is you've got to immediately do the push down right you sit down you push because otherwise just bars and dick are on show for everyone oh i don't have to i'm gonna wear joggers as well. That's a mixture of the cultures

there. So, Soraya's family are also Egyptian, so Muslim. No, I think quite liberal,

but then also to an extent. Yeah, Natalie's mum will, like, she'll have a drink in a dance, but she'll not eat bacon.

She kisses the Quran before a long journey. So she's got some of the heritage but then also Soraya's dad's pretty much the same so he comes over and he's talking away with all the bridesmaids and stuff

and they all get on with him, he's just this very funny man and I'm quite drunk at this point and the girls have made such a point about me not wearing underwear that i've gone to the fucking bathroom halfway through and i've come out they're like ladies i've taken my and this is the first time he sees me i've just walked out and thrown my underwear at his daughter just being like so because so i made a point so i literally throw my underwear on a big day

on her big day and she just goes not in front of my dad and i was like oh like that's absolutely fair that's absolutely fair. That's a completely and utterly piece of shit. We're not at a music festival now. Like, that's a real shit fucking thing. And he starts giving me daggers absolutely fairly. And I'm like, oh, God, this is, oh, I've really fucked up here. So I'm sat down and he's like, are you not wearing underwear?

And I'm like, no. And he's like, why? And I'm like, oh, it's like, and I'm like no and he's like why and I'm like oh it's like a and I'm the only one wearing a to him he doesn't know

probably the difference between Scotland and Ireland he doesn't know the culture he knows about it as much so I'm like oh it's like a

culture thing he's like nobody else is wearing skirts apart from the women and I'm like yeah but I'm from the different

part of the isles oh god and I'm like oh god and like he just hates me so Raya's laughing the way she finds it hilarious and I'm downstairs

later on and I'm drinking I'm talking to Brett Vincent one of our very very good friends who we're going to have dinner with tonight who we're going to have dinner with tonight for your best man celebration meal woohoo

he didn't even know what it was I'm going to rub it in his face too and then I go to Brett because we'd just come back from a holiday in benidorm and we just been to see a really really there was an awful awful awful comedian in benidorm called uh what was his name i'll be senior i'll be senior who just did this is the story i've been telling people yeah he all he did was tell like really racist horrific fucking jokes uh just

not like just old school hack and people were laughing at it and we're in the back of what the fuck is it he was like my sister said

where's Pakistan and I said he's outside with Paki Steve it was like that level of horrendous like stuff that you like before you knew

what racism was and if you laughed at that earnestly listen to this podcast stop listening to the podcast like this isn't for you can't join Britain first yeah

an apple I love that in that joke as well they're called Stan and Steve they've just got very British names they're trying to integrate yeah

so I'm telling Brett this story he's like how bad was it and I was like the guy was awful just think of what we were saying there

jokes that should have been bombing and booed were getting cheers and huge laughs and rounds of applause and then you told the Dr. O'Day joke as the example

and he goes what was the worst joke he did? And I was like, and this one, I cannot believe it got, and this is what my exam was about. I'm like, I cannot believe this got a laugh, right? But it got a round of applause. And the joke was, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but my doctor is a Muslim, so a rash of a bacon tends to do it.

Right? And I'm just doing that as an example of how awful this comedian is. And then Brett's laughing because of how fucking big it is. Brett's, how awful it is. He's laughing at the irony, not the earnestness. Yeah, he's laughing at just like... The irony before, you're still listening. If you laughed at the earnestness, you're on it.

He's like, oh, jeez. He's the horror of my voice. And then I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I turn around, and Soraya's Muslim dad is... And that's the only part of the fucking story he's heard. The only bit he has walked down to get a drink and all he's heard is me say to Brett, an apple a day keeps a doctor away,

but my doctor's a Muslim, so a bacon rasher tends to do it. And then Brett laughing hysterically and me, the underwearless motherfucker who threw underwear at his daughter on her specialty, turns around laughing and goes, oh, no! It was like the worst level of sitcom writing.

And then didn't you, didn't you then go and tell somebody else outside, oh my God, the most embarrassing things just happened. I've just told Fred Vincent this joke that this comedian told, and Soraya's dad caught me. And then they went, what was the joke? And they told the joke.

And got caught off the dad, and then told the joke, and then he was there again. Yeah, he came back after. As then they went, what was the joke? And I told the joke. And got caught off the dad. And then told the joke. And then he was there again. Yeah, he came back after. As if you're just going around the party. Telling this favourite joke. And honestly, to this day, Soraya constantly gives me shit for ruining her wedding. I have no idea.

But her dad fucking hates me. Yeah, so I'm aware you've got form when I asked you. I was like, this is going to be fucking cock rush. But the important thing is, I'm the world's best muggle so are you actually editing that joke to make it make more sense

do you know that because he said I'll be senior his actual word for word part of the joke was an apple a day keeps the doctor away my doctor's a Muslim

a bacon sandwich a day keeps my doctor away and then I was watching that thing going, why do they have to bake a sandwich with bread? Muslims can eat bread. Yeah, they fight with bread. Bread's got nothing to do with it.

What time is it? How long are we on? We are on 30 minutes. Right, I think it's time to go into... Some muggle corners. And seeing as I am the best muggle, Matty, get it around you. And seeing as I am the best muggle,

my, get it, Ranji, my first one is from my old math teacher, Mr. Letham. You know him. Yeah, he goes to the gigs in Kirkcaldy. Yeah. But, like, this is an interesting one. I went through and visited my old teachers at school because I was picking my brothers up, so I just popped in to say hi.

His one was, muggles say I couldn't do what you do about people's jobs when they're like not in the army like he says people say to him he's a math teacher I couldn't do what you do shit maths I learned some maths and you'll probably get it that's like when

when firemen say that comedians are so brave definitely not my death is still I think just having that thing Like I often feel That I couldn't do What a lot of people do

For two reasons One Like a lot of them I genuinely couldn't Do Like surgery I'm a very squeamish Sort of fucking person

But then also I'm just lazy Like I couldn't do Someone who works at McDonald's I couldn't do that Yeah Like I couldn't do What most people do

That's why I do this Yeah I could do Yeah McDonald's work I'd fucking own it It would be, I couldn't do that. Yeah. Like, I couldn't do what most people, that's why I do this. Yeah, I could do, yeah, McDonald's work, I'd fucking own it, it would be shit. I couldn't do it. Do you know what I mean?

Me and Danny McLaughlin once went to a McDonald's in Cardiff, and it was so fucking filthy that we couldn't get a seat right, because it was Saturday night, but it clearly just had an influx of people in the staff

who were like, trying to get, they were just fucking around. And then me and Danny Mac tidied up the McDonald's. We tidied up the entire McDonald's do you get paid? we done a little shift

do you get any free burgers? I didn't get any free burgers that's not why we done it we're just waiting for our meal order because now when you're going in late at night and all that chicken

select order it takes a while come through we just fucking tidied up the full of McDonald's after our gig imagine how chuffed they would have been

do you remember that time during the festival one of the festivals I think it was four years ago some fucking drunk Berlin's in sea venues like flipped a table because they thought

like literally just flipped it and it was all like picnic tables because it was a pop up venue they flipped this table over with all these fucking drinks on it for no reason then got kicked out by the bouncers like fuck you whatever

and me and my mate Ali were just like like dick moving you could just see the staff being like oh god so me and ali cleaned up the table cleaned up the glasses and put them back up there and the guy was like why did you do that i'm like well just because someone else has been a dick doesn't mean you should have to deal with the consequences like and he was like right free drinks for the rest of the night and we're like it's 8 p.m he He's like, yeah, we shot at 1. Get your boots, fill your boots. And I was like, oh, yeah. And then I got smashed and flipped another table. I was like, mug!

Hey, pick that up. You'll get free drinks. I pass it on. I think the only people where I can genuinely say, because they wouldn't be playing the role if I could, when I say, I couldn't do your job, my agent, because if I could do it, I wouldn't have an agent.

To Molly and Gav, who runs Bushdrunk, I couldn't do your job, otherwise I'd probably have just carried on trying to do it on my own. I think it's a very, just like, it's like when you find out what someone does. When you find out you're shitting someone, you have to rely on someone to do it. It's like the lowest form of compliment, I think it's, like, when you find out what someone does. When you find out you're shitting someone, you have to. Oh, you're in, yeah.

You rely on someone to do it. It's like the lowest form of compliment, I think, that thing is like, oh, I couldn't do what you do. It's like, all right. It's just a very, very undercutting, oh, God, Jesus, oh, you're a fucking brave person. It's like, I'm a fucking taxi driver. Like, let's not beat around the bush here. Unless you're saying it to someone who's in the army. Yeah.

Or doctor. Footballer? I could do with it. I've tried. I couldn't do with Wayne Rooney. I play football quite often and I just can't do what you do. I've fucking given it a shot. Couldn't do what Wayne Rooney does.

I've tried to shag my grad many times. Not out for it. No. I could do what John Terry does because I fucked your missus. I'm out of Wayne Bridge in this situation. So, you know, John Terry got a God of Honour at 26 minutes. Number 26, is that right? Yeah.

Number 26, minute 26 of his last game, he gets subbed off, they make a God of Honour, and he walks out. Is that pretty cool? I mean, it is, apart from the fact that... Apart from the fact that... He organised it? He planned it. Oh, my God. I mean it is apart from the fact that he organised it he planned it oh my god it's like throwing your own surprise birthday

right guys everyone come round we'll put the cake in the fridge is that not what I'm doing for me what? just arranging a ceremony everyone celebrate me yeah well I mean it's essentially I think surely what it is

Is you're getting everyone to celebrate Natalie And your union I guess Like my mates will just be going I mean we've got to give them this one I feel one Pull this one up somehow I bet her half of the family come over

In funeral attire There it goes They're just like I bet her half of the family come over in funeral attire. There it goes. They're just like, they're expecting the ceremony to be just like, just at the end on the beach. After you say I do, Natalie just gets on a raft and just floats into the sea and then they just fire flaming arrows at the raft. Shit, I tear. So yeah, another thing I was trying to grab about is

it's quite an organisational role being the best man so like I was getting a fucking freebie just being by myself I'm very organised but you and

you and Matty are going to have to get your chops on and fucking sort of stag do yeah so on stag detail live

Natalie's going to draft you some answers on the wedding organising as well because I don't do shit around here you might have noticed well I mean you could have a look through your fold the corners answers on the wedding organising as well, because I don't do shit around here, you might have noticed. Aye.

Well, I mean, you could have a look through your... Fold the corners over on the magazine. What was it? Chuggy Wocky Doodle. This one's my favourite one, Boo Bear. That's Gene's name. Boo Bear. Aye. You're going to get married when you're 30.

Yeah, maybe not 30. No, God, no. I've still got... How old am I? I don't know, but I'm sure that's what you made a pact on. Oh, we didn't make a pact. Stick to it. Stick to it. Deal's a deal. No, I didn't know but I'm sure that's what you made a pact on We didn't make a pact Stick to it Deal's a deal

No I didn't make a pact So there was one episode where I put that in Muggle Corner Aye About making a When you're in your early 20s And you're like If we're not married before we're 30 We should marry each other

We've never done that We've just sort of Your mum keeps banging on about it Oh god aye My mum just once fucking Grandchild Shagged Just inseminate her

Aye If she has kids that are not her grandkids, it's not like an age thing. I'll give Jane some. You don't have to have sex with her. Just fuck in your hand and throw it at her. Shove this up your snatch. No, these Jason's teeth are out of this. What's your first muggle corner?

My first muggle corner is muggles are best men. Best men are muggles Oh you might get You might get off For one of the bridesmaids Oh yeah well Do you know who the Bridesmaids are

I don't know if Natalie's Doing it Oh right So that's why I'm best man Is it I don't know It's like Because traditionally

The wife and the Bride Groom even Whatever Liberal The bride and the bride groom even whatever liberal the bride and the groom get up and they do their first dance

and then the best man goes and dances with one of the bridesmaids so you're going to fucking maybe go up there and do the macarena by myself oh well I guess

we've got kids we've got daughters I don't know I don't know if Natalie has ever had a bridesmaid I'm not sure I think she really likes the idea of people

who just dress how they want because it's like you know when you're a bridesmaid you get told what you're wearing really likes the idea of people just dress how they want because it's like you know when you're a bridesmaid you get told what you're wearing wear that it's like a big day you want to enjoy

you maybe dress she's not going to have people standing by her up there it's not like a dress it's not like just dressing up similar I mean I don't

have to think I've got a big checklist and notebook with all that shit that's going on but I don't I mean I can see you're not big there it's just got different

dad jokes on it oh man do you want my best man speech can I just make up I mean I can see you're not back there It's just got different dad jokes on it Oh man Do you want my best man speech Can I just make up a bunch of your dad jokes Just aimed at your dad You totally should do some of your dad jokes Because your dad's going to be there No

So Is my dad going to be there Probably I mean you've invited my mum And if you haven't She's coming anyway Yeah I think Like I mean we haven't

We haven't put a list together But I'm sure your mum and dad Will be there right She might come won't she There's anyway yeah I think like I mean we haven't we haven't put we're listening but I'm sure your mum and dad will be there right she's got to come there's no way my mum won't come should I invite her now

aye RSVP Leslie and Martin aye Matthew and Jack get fucked get the fuck right the fact that you go

right Matthew and Jack I'm taking mum and dad away for a week next year if you little fucks do not have a house party I found out that my mum and dad

And Jack Went away for ages And Matthew had a weekend To himself Now back in my day When I was younger And my parents went away I used to have

Massive fucking house parties You're fucking inhaling Lynx Africa 3 A t-shirt at that age Oh have you not heard That fucking story About my mum Oh yeah about the

She thought you'd been Inhaling Lynx Because you'd been Spraying Lynx To hide up the smell of weed Yeah, she had a sit down thing Because she thought me and my mates were sniffing fucking

Solvent abuse She was delighted when she found out Thought you'd been huffing paint I was a sniffer Wait, so you're saying best men are muggles? I'm just throwing it out there I'm just putting it up for debate I mean, I'm down

Best men are muggles No, I mean I haven't I mean, I'm carrying around a little ring box with a token in it that says best

muggle on it you got really excited that you were going to be making a speech I did as long as

I will allow best muggle I will allow best men to be in the corner because it is a bit muggly to you know

organise your friends party which I do celebrate him getting married and be like no no no I'm a best friend because you know when you're an adult you don't have to organise your friend's party, which I do, celebrate him getting married. And be like, no, no, no, no,

I'm a best friend. Because you know, when you're an adult, you don't have a best friend, right? In school, you would have been like, Ali's your best friend.

And all the way through school, I'm like, Rouge is my best friend. But when you grow up, you just have an array of friends. Until now, Matty, suck it,

cunt. Is that joint? No. Does he have one of these? Not yet. Where's the trolley talking? He's got a, Suck it cunt Is it joint? No Does he have one of these? Not yet Where's the trolley token? He's got a Number

0.5 girlfriend Does he? Yeah He's just got a number 1 girlfriend So he's near out of 0 Well I will allow best man To go in the corner

Because one It'll get Matt in the corner too As long as We admit that trolley tokens Are not in the corner And I mean I've got to go to the corner for double time

because I've been best man twice oh okay that's right well in that sense since you've been so selfless I'll absolutely but yeah I mean

everything to do with weddings in general is just fairly fucking muggly and that's another thing as well so I've been best man for Can and Sean

who are like dear dear friends this was like a few years back though but it's just a thing where you know when everyone has families and they can't come away

as much and we're not drifted apart we're still tight as mates but we just don't see each other as much as

I'd like to so it's going to be nice to see everyone at the wedding that's got families I mean to be

fair everyone at your wedding is a muggle just anything to do with weddings I've actually got finally I've got a twitter

twitter suggestion for dads sorry Muggles. This one is from Gene Fury, or Jean Fury. He might be, it might be a book. There's four people in the phone. Muggles say not all heroes wear capes when anyone does anything slightly good.

I say that when I'm watching Spider-Man. Iron Man doesn't wear capes The Incredibles Very specifically do not wear capes I find that That's such a What this is That's an internet phrase That's just been overused

Also like I'm screaming Or I'm dying Or I can't breathe It's the new Ruffles LMAOs and whatever. It'll just be like somebody makes one snarky comment

to Piers Morgan online, which is funny, but what's not funny is the way it's then just turned into a meme where, not all heroes wear capes. She called him a cunt. It is funny and it is good, but let's not. That's the definition for hero. It's actually arguably muggly when people say it. That's the definition for hero? It's actually arguably

muggly when people say it about someone's being a genuine hero. You know, someone's ran into the house and rescued a dog. I would argue that's not muggly. It's still kind of muggly to put that hashtag on that thing. Yeah, because also, in what world... So when someone's being a genuine hero,

the minute you go, not all heroes wear capes, you're still being like... You're undermining it Yeah Idiom Idiom Is it an idiom Is it an idiom

I don't know what an idiom is Answers on a postcard Oh yeah I think that's an idiom I think I'll agree with Gene John Jean

Fury His second name's Forry John Forry I don't know how to say your name buddy Anyway Yeah Not all heroes wear capes Is just this Thanks Jean Gene His second name is Fori. John Fori. I don't know how to say your name, buddy. Anyway, yeah, not all heroes wear capes. It's just this. Thanks, Jean.

Is it Jean? It's not Jean. No, Jean. Can I just say happy birthday to Jean? Happy birthday to Jean. Happy birthday, dear Jean. Happy birthday to Jean. Because I missed that birthday yesterday.

Even though I texted you and said it's Jean's birthday. FYI. FYI, it's Jean's birthday. I text you the way my mum texts me when it's's June's birthday FYI FYI it's June's birthday Like you I text you the way My mum texts me When it's my dad's birthday Being like FYI It's your dad's birthday tomorrow

I went FYI it's June's birthday Didn't turn out anything did you Nah I'm just I'm just going to shout out The podcast Oh she's never Fucking listened to this

For several months Is she not Nah Lazy bitch I'm fucking glad I missed that bit of it Turns out we're not friends She's not coming to the wedding

She's not my to the wedding. She's not my best man either. Right, we'll just do one more Muggle Corner because we've got to go for din-dins. Muggle Corner, cherishing something engraved. Wait, hold on. Have I just been sold out the fucking room? Is this whole thing just being a Muggle sting operation?

Like if something that's engraved right Is like precious Like if you've got Something engraved But man It takes nothing To get it engraved Like oh wait

It's Ipsen's Alright so everyone With a tombstone Is a muggle I cherish this You know when When someone gets you Something and engraves

A message on it It's like a really Sweet thing to do But it takes a second If you lost it You easily gotta do it again Did you not get someone engraved on Natalie's ring? Nah

I made it myself though I've watched the DVD You fucking muggle Kai has a DVD Of him making The wedding ring that he proposed to Natalie with Of like to the Several and it's longer

than you'd think. It's about a ten minute fucking video of not, by the way, not videos, by the way. It's just photos of you to the sound of piano keys. That's the Lord of the Rings theme tune. But one of them. Here comes the bride, comes the bride,

here comes the bride, here comes the bride. All dressed in white, dressed in white, dressed in white. Marry me, marry me. Here comes the bride.

The white lord. So, yeah, it was just a bunch of videos of me fucking forging the, forging the ring, like a legend. The white lord So yeah It was just a bunch of videos Of me fucking Forging the Forging the ring Like a legend I can't believe

Did you So you know how you made Natalie's ring Did you make this Trolley token for me I had a leather cape on Didn't I Oh yeah

I was wearing it backwards As a What's the word Apron There you go I love that apron Not often us wearing aprons Does he though

That's how I went and got a trolley token but then he couldn't engrave on the trolley token so I had to get a little plaque thing that attaches to the key ring

it's his best muggle and I explained it to him he thought it was very funny but he but he told me that because he he was like an Indian guy

perhaps he was Indian he was that persuasion he told me that that persuasion what did he say but he can't tell Perhaps he was Indian. He was that persuasion. That persuasion. What are you saying? You can't tell. You can't say that. I can't just assume he's from India. He could be from Pakistan.

I don't know, right? This dude said that he calls muggle someone that's mixed race. He calls them a muggle. I don't know. But so in our world, the way we say muggle, it means muggles. But in his world, when he says muggle, don't know where but in like so in our world the way we say muggle it means muggles but in his world when he says muggle it means someone

that's mixed race so when I got that done he was like oh when I say that with friends it just means someone mixed race the muggle

I think they're half blood or mud blood if you're dead racist that's a very racist Harry Potter term what was your final one because I'm assuming all of these are selling

you down the fucking river like I've not this is this is the one that I'm assuming all of these are selling you down the fucking river like I'm not this is this is the one that I've already put in Muggle Corner right but I want to

renew my trolling tokens no they're not they're absolutely not they're not for Muggles I don't see how it's Mugly it's like a Muggle sheriff badge

no it's not right how many times have you got like who knows the new pound coins are coming out Or they've come out

Is that obsolete No because maybe They don't work With the new trolleys Then oh Look at this Still the same shape It's not a mug

To be plant Are you going to use A trolley to cook Of course I am Does it mean too much to you Are you going to take it off When you do the school run Because I do the school run with a trolley.

It's like supermarket sweet. I've got no kids. Get in, kids. Come on. And run down the street. You sit in the seat and let them push it. I should stop jingling this on the podcast. Just show it off to the rest of my

boys. No, I'm going to go for dinner tonight and be like oh is this do you want us to get it put on a chain for you no I've got keys I'll put on my keys because like

I didn't put on my car keys because I never go shopping you're not gonna use it of course I am you lost the last one yeah but I'm not gonna lose this one hey

I've still got my laminated leaf no you don't yes I do no you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't. Just go get it. You lost it. Now you remember.

You lost a bet. Did I make a new one? When you were off your tits. Can you not remember? No. Can you not remember this? When did I do this? Oh, so, right, we were off our fucking melon at the Christmas punch drunk run.

So you come up for punch drunk. Yeah. We took a cocktail of... Drinks. Alcohol. And we were like, hey, the last one standing end of a session shit no cigarettes left in the pocket like hanging in there yeah and then i remembered you had to make us a leaf with a laminator i saw the laminator because we're in gab's office and uh you went and got a leaf from outside oh do you still have that yeah well because you were away, that's why I guess you'd got me.

Well, 11 Italy. Yeah, when you were off getting that thing. No, because I keep my wallet everywhere I go, like a pizzeria. I tell you what, you can't use that as to get a trolley. You can't? No. Unless you see someone in the shops with a trolling gun. Sort the trolley for this.

What kind of fucking mug? Someone who thinks a family heirloom is worth a quid. A family heirloom. We're related now, fucking mug? Someone who thinks a family heirloom was worth a quid. A family heirloom? We're related now, are we? It's a family heirloom. How?

Because I'm just promoting you to best man. That doesn't mean I'm part of your family. You're part of my wedding party, so you're part of my family. Boo. My blood brother.

We should probably stop kissing. It's incest. Right. We kind of put it down to the end there. My two muggle corners words one

just yeah I don't know if I'll agree with the fact now that I think about the muggle say I couldn't do what you do

it's a very it's just a bit of shit chat yeah we'll put that in I don't think we agreed on it no I don't think

we agreed on it so that won't go in but thanks couldn't do what you do because sometimes you generally can't yeah like

there's a thing in the way but it does like unnecessarily elevate what you're doing. Yeah, and I do agree with Muggles say, not all heroes wear capes when anyone does anything slightly interesting.

And for mine, get in the corner for 30 seconds if you're the best man, being the best man, you're really excited about being someone's best friend. We are all best friends, best friends in the whole wide world. Best friends, we get along. We are cherishing something that's in the whole wide world. Best friends. We get along.

Cherishing something that's engraved. Right, fine. Your last one's not in. Your last one's not in. V. Code. Right. Well, it turns to me that we can't get along.

You can't be my best man anymore. You'll only be my best man if you put Trolley Totems in the corner. I'll fucking take it back. Matty, guess what? I've got some good news. Dad jokes. Yeah, your dad describes your mum's snatch as rustic. Sorry, rusty.

Like a good pub. Your dad's a lollipop man and during the school holidays he works for free for the crack. I don't win. Just crack, okay? Your dad stubbed his toe

on the ceiling and won't tell me how. Your dad uses all of his weight watchers since they eat licorice. Your dad knows his answer to shag, marry, kill when it comes to

the following trios Destiny's Child The Top Gear hosts The Bee Gees Will Smith's kids Snap, Crackle and Pop His kids Your dad made binoculars

Out of toilet roll tubes To spy on the neighbours Your dad would never call me a bitch Because I'm his boo. Gee, Tim. Your dad sells single cigarettes to school kids. Your dad squeals with excitement whenever he hears the word engaged because it means that if he's sneaky he gets to watch someone shit. sneaky he gets to watch someone shit.

Your dad only has a big dick because he's covering up for having a shit car. Your dad's got butterflies in his stomach and some cat pills up his arse. Your dad drinks tequila through the day on his own and occasionally examines the label on the pill bottle through his tears. Your dad licks his finger before turning the page on the Kindle.

Instead of watching porn, your dad writes boobies on the calculator. Your dad's got a helicopter hat. Your dad still gives me a swing in the garden when I visit. Your dad runs with his hands behind his back. Your dad runs with his hands behind his back. Your dad pretends to find

50p behind your ear and then runs to the bookies with it. I caught your dad burning your mum's bag for life because he thought it was her final horcrux. Your dad's therapist says he's making great progress

since he got a fidget spinner. Oh, Dan, what an emotional episode. Don't you dare hug me when you press pause. No, I'm not

pressing pause. Leave it running. That was an emotional episode Did you not know It was coming No I didn't No I have a clue No I mean I can't

I can't even post The thing until Thursday Because I've got to wait Until Matt hears this I can't just I mean it would be funny If I just posted I'm really tempted

Because what I want to do Is just take a picture of this and then post it online with my fat stubby fingers and just be like aww I said yes right

to you but then Matt will just get dead upset should I just get a total underwhelming one for him and just ring him aye just ring him and go

aye you got two seconds mate aye and just ask him just text him cheers bud bye bye bye bye bye bye do you have any gigs

coming up aye let's plug the fringe alright so we've got bits and bobs I'll get my website up to date but it'll be like Sheffield

I'm coming to Sheffield I'm going to fuck Glasgow Nottingham there's a handful of places around the country but let's focus on the fringe

We're going to do brand new shows We are Working on them right now It's a stressful time of year We're also doing previews To all the people in Paisley And Livingston Come every year

Cumbernauld St Andrews Are we doing a preview In St Andrews? I am Right well anyway It's all on our websites DanielSloss.co.uk

Or.com Who gives a fuck And Kai Humphries.muggle Dot Number 1B So the fringe We're going to be there for a month

We're going to both be doing shows Mine's called Punch Drunk And I'm going to do the story about Me and my brother And my boxing match And all of our shenanigans And Danny's taking a photograph

Of his engagement muggle I am you choked on it I'm sending it to Gene come see us live, thanks for listening to the podcast thanks to the people who are leaving good reviews on the

fucking iTunes it's helping a lot it's your turn to do the podcast next week who are you having on? on the fucking iTunes. It's helping a lot. It's your turn to do the podcast next week. Who are you having on? Just a second. Can everyone go to my website also and buy my work? I am selling my wares

because I have got a Chucky Boo Boo cake to pay for. Who am I going to have on? Am I next week? Yeah. Yeah, I'll get one of the boys. Stanley's living in London now. I haven't had him on for a while No I haven't come on To fucking

Defend his treacherous actions What about The bar Butterfly Well I haven't had him back on Since the butterfly No no He's just entertaining

His fucking things about him Yes I think we need to wrap this up And go for dinner Right we do Thanks everyone for listening As always Love you Talk to you next week Or at least you will Bye Bye It's out let's go for dinner alright we do thanks everyone for listening as always love you

talk to you next week or at least you will bye plugins out