Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Ep. 55 Your Dad's Muntered

Episode Date: July 3, 2017

Finally Muggins and Cream pull out of their Glastonbury come down and create a podcast to debrief what the fuck just happened, as it turns out, Cream was muntered. Lots of talk of self felating and possibly the final regular muggle corner before a pre fringe hiatus. With some top notch Dad jokes to wrap it up.

Sloss and Humphreys on the road! Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin', livin' the dream. That's our intro. Fuckin' muggles! Tickle in the clit inside your head that makes you laugh. Woohoo! Ha ha ha! They said it can't be done!

Are we in the same seats? That's hack. Aww, muggles. Accidental rip job in the park. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Or am I just being cynical? Just muggled it up on fuckin' Mugglepedia. Where have you been since 9-11?

Cream, cream everywhere and not a drop to drink. That doesn't rhyme. It's not a rhyme. I'm just changing. It makes it up. Yeah, I'm just mixing it up. I didn't realise there was boundaries on what I said to open the podcast. Thought I'd just say what I want.

I believe I can muggins. Think about it every muggins day. You can't? Spread my muggins and fly away. Welcome back to Sloss and Affrey's On The Road. Muggins and Cream, whatever the fuck you want to call it. We had a two-week hiatus accidentally. Because we were fucked.

We were fucked. We were in Glastonbury. I was in bad shape after that. We've had a rough week. We can get on to the horrific, horrific week afterwards and what we went through, but we can talk about Glastonbury and you were absolutely money.

You were the worst I've seen you. There was one point at Katy Perry, all he was doing was just making motorbike sounds just along to different songs, pretending to be a motorbike, trying to do wheelies while hopping. You were crying. You called hopping wheelies? You were crying, Drew and Katy Perry.

Not because of the emotional connection, but because it was too busy. You start crying, you're overwhelmed. You spent four hours at the Arts and Crafts Centre. I held your hand and walked you to the medic's tent. You were fucking munted. You had droof. I had a droof. I should have's tent. You were fucking munted. You were druff? Yeah, I had a druff. You should have seen you. You've got cave paintings on your cheeks.

That's a new one. So basically, if you can't tell what happened, we've been... Has Daniel got munted? You know if he's fucking trolley? You should have seen him. He was up a tree. Everyone was trying to get him down. Crowd gathered. Come on down the tree It's a festival of love

Get out the tree Pussy If you can't tell What's happening While we're at Glastonbury We'd been sober For almost like two months We'd been in

Sort of goodish behaviour Not really drinking We hadn't really smoked Kissed a little bit But you know Not too much Not excessive No tongues

Just a little make up I just Something to see Ourselves off Just a little bit. Not too much, not excessive. No tongues. Just a little make-up. I just have to see ourselves. Medicine is to sleep with a hard on. Occasionally, like one when we were drunk. But just, we'd work it off in the morning. So when we're done. But we weren't drinking.

A bit of consistency habitual liar you're still munted man oh god the worst thing was when we were at Foo Fighters you tried to start a game of Chinese Whispers

it got into Dave Grohl yeah and he was like I don't even play Fleabird I think someone's just said there's a guy up a tree in the back of the field. The only game of Chinese Whispers that gets fully translated all the way through Glass of Brew. There's a question. Is Chinese Whispers racist?

Is it? Chinese Whispers. No. I mean, that is. Thanks for giving us the racist version of the ambiguously racist thing I asked. I just converted it. You know what it is?

Here's me slowly trying to walk around a minefield and you drive by in a two-by-four. On a bike. A bike. A bike. A four-wheel A two by four It should be a two by four It should be a two by two

A car You know four by fours They're not They're two by two Right well let's get on to why they're called four by fours in a second Wheels Two by two Hurrah

Hurrah This podcast is a mess already Right too. Hurrah. Hurrah. This podcast is a mess already. Off the weed, we're phoning from the floor. Oh yeah. Right. So we had a rough week after. We'll get back to Glastonbury at one point.

We had a rough week afterwards. The come down was pretty, pretty brutal. It was a solid week. We properly were snapping at each other. I questioned everything. I wanted to change my life. I wanted to cancel Ibiza. Yeah, it was getting...

Pussy. Psych. Yeah, the come down was, like, days and days and days. It lasted way longer than I thought it would. It was real brutal. And then I think today and yesterday was the first two sort of days where it sort of kicked off.

And then today I was at the gym and I was like, it's good, all the stuff's out of my system. I'm good, I'm back to being healthy. I'm at the gym and I'm walking home,

right, and I kick this small bag. It's a bag of weed, right? No, I don't believe in God. Some angels leave for us. I am genuinely curious though

if Chinese whispers is racist like is it wait can ask Ellis quietly

and ask him to ask someone ask someone else and then it when it gets to China yeah they send it back they send it back

or they'll just be like there's a guy in between they're like hey is Chineseastonbury They're like They're like Hey hey Is Chinese whispers racist They're like

Oh you mean whispers You can't change it I don't know So where were we We found weed Right We found weed We're going to go back

To Glastonbury Where you were wanted You were the worst I've seen you What was your favourite part of Glastonbury oh I know which story you're good to tell

probably the guy oh hold on let's go no you asked me a question what was my favourite part of Glastonbury Future Islands

I thought you heard Corbyn chant no you were watching Corbyn oh Jeremy Corbyn it was weird that he started it oh Jeremy hurtbyn it was weird that he started it oh

Jeremy Corbyn it was funny his speech was his speech was like it was good like I enjoyed being there but it was saying stuff like that everyone would of course

agree with it like oh peace is good evil's bad and everyone's like yeah evil is bad don't cancer you're like oh yeah cancer's rubbish

it would have been I always thought it would be good if, like, during all that stuff, it was like, you just obviously feed the poor, tax the rich, you know, stop the war, all this stuff. If he just threw in something, like, subtly. Get Wagamamas in small towns. Small towns like Blythe. No, just like, the earth is flat.

The Nino Nandos. Like, or if, like, for some, just Jeremy Corbyn was flat. The Nino Nandos. Or if, for example, Jeremy Corbyn was like a 9-11 truther. I just started to sort of, moon landings, I mean, there might be stage, but we'll get there. We'll get there for the first time.

British moons for British people. His speech was good, but we just, I mean, I don't know if he heard us, but he was getting roasted at the back big fan of his work but we were so far away that we weren't in like

the hubbub a word of bringing back you can hear yourself think you can get a word in and boy am I a talker because Danny was crying when we were in the heat of the battle

everyone was down there he was like oh people are bumping against us and that'll have me anxiety I was like oh well I'll walk you to the back I'll watch you to the back

where you let them have fun I watch it at the back where you let them have fun I'll come to the back where you just fucking hardly hear it it's because

of you and your fucking quivering wreck you were so mad that you went for a shit and

forgot to take your trousers down you came back and you sat down and you're like oh I

knew I forgot something and then I rummaged through the back of your pants and pulled out a condom full of drugs and you're like, oh, I knew I forgot something. Then I rummaged through the back of your pants and pulled out a condom full of drugs. I don't know why

I stuck them up in the glass and breathe. What was your favourite moment of glass and breathe? My favourite moment was when that man sucked his own dick. Oh, yeah.

Jeremy Corpus. That's what he closed I was like I'm really enjoying this speech fade the purr tax the rich everyone gets

four ribs removed so we can all do this six of you a girl you need an extra rib tuck to lick your own man you'd have to have no ribs you need ribs

I'm not you're gonna just have like a sucky bag of organs it's not like you're gonna get to lick your own pussy you'd have to have no ribs you need ribs I know you need you're gonna just have like a sucky bag of organs it's not like you're gonna get to lick your own pussy though

like six ribs isn't enough to oh imagine you got your ribs removed and then you go to lick your own pussy and your

boobs get in the way like oh man you get a double mastectomy you got your ribs removed at least you don't need me

you don't have to talk to me in the morning I'll pack my things so I can see I'm not needing to go to you anymore oh well when the dishes mount up you'll notice I'm gone

you know how lads I try to suck their own dick at some point I've generally never tried try a new life on the podcast and I never would like there is people go like oh but you

like you wank yourself off like it's a very different thing like for me if I'm jerking off it doesn't feel like I reckon if you suck your own dick

like yeah you're getting a blowjob, but that is not outweighed by the fact that, like, you're sucking a dick. I've got nothing against people who... It's a double-edged pork sword. I've got nothing against, like, people who do suck dick, but I'm not into it. It's not... I've never tried to... So when someone's sucking your dick, are you watching them go,

oh, God, gross. What are you doing that for? Silly. Like, me and you are so different I thought we had a lot in common when we were chatting yeah but then again but you you've got a dick in your mouth

not for me I give it a shot like I managed to give it a kiss it's just an Eskimo kiss it just rubs my nose I didn't know what was snot and what was gin

I didn't know whether it'd blow me nuts or blow me on dick so I managed to like get my lips on it and then I just got my lips I got my lips like and what was true. I didn't know whether that would blow me nuts or blow me on dick. So I managed to get my lips on it and then I just got my... Nah. I got my lips like right because I was like

in right hand giving you the push. No, you didn't. I did. I gave her the kiss. No, you didn't. I got my lips around it and then I was like,

I don't know where I'm getting that from. I just went back to work. I was in the staff toilet at work. No. Aye. This story's not true. I waited in a factory

I thought this was a bit I went in a You went in a factory So you tried to suck your own dick On your lunch break I went in a Far away Right

Right So why were you trying to suck your own dick In a bathroom I was 15 That's not Oh Your honour That was consensual

Statutory though Statutory Malfruit muscle Right I've got so many questions Right First of all Why do you think Statutory though Statutory Mouthache myself Right I've got so many questions Right First of all Why do you think

Working in a factory Is justification Of this action You've never been as bored As you get when you work In a factory I was packing skirts I had to get the skirts

That they're just made In the factory right And I had to Clip them with a little Docket That little like You know the plastic thing That you have to And you got to like Turn the video Fuck and I had to clip them with a little docket that little like you know the plastic thing that you have to

and you got to like turn the video in fuck this I'm about to suck me own dick look at the size on the label clip the thing to the label fold it up

with a bit of paper fucking tissue paper by the way as well oh fucking mundane right put them in the right boxes I've got boxes all around us

right I've got like size 18 size 16 just dot it around I'm like fucking working me magic and I was just like fuck this shit I'm like fucking working me magic And I was just like

Fuck this shit I'm going to suck my own dick Anything's better than this I was at like minimum wage for a 15 year old Which was like 170 an hour or something I fucking saved up me whole fucking week Saved up our week Bought a siphon filter second hand With one week's wages

40 hours at least I got paid a couple of pence for sucking my own dick mate you would have to pay me so much more than minimum wage

to suck my own dick who's gonna pay you for that you that's your justification far away they went bust actually bad business model

they went bust after you busted that I didn't bust it no I just kissed it I'm not a slut right more questions what why like

to see if I could if you could have would you have like properly blown yourself? I mean, we'll never know that bridge because we'll never cross it. Right, you know what I meant. I'll never know because I was prospecting, I was seeing what it was like. So if I liked it, right, of course I would have kept doing it. But if I was like, oh, that was gross, should have washed it.

Been in the factory for hours sweating my bugs off should do that when you put a bit of talc on not talc truth truth

truth being dry muth dry mouth I'm Scottish for dry muth truth you got rushed to the hospital with the truth so

you're in a factory, you're trying to... So, you get the tip in. Are you hard? Are you stretching it? I'm taking it with a mic now. Say that. Man. Then we'll have followed.

It stayed hard, so I must like kissing my dick I've just I've never felt the Arge Or the want Or So Knowing my

Checkered history Of trying to suck my own dick Right I'm in Glastonbury Watching the table game The table game being a game That just Passes by

Had created In the stone circle area Yeah so it's like Basically just a big table And you've got to sort of climb all the way around it and underneath it but without ever touching the ground. Floor's lava. It's just floor's lava. And it was like, I think it was five quid to, or there was a prize for it. Well there was a queue that had formed. I didn't know if people were paying off or just jumping on. I didn't even know if it was like a proper attraction or whether the crowd had just created it. It's like a bit of jumpers for goalposts going on, you know.

Right. And people are queuing, getting up, claiming under the table. And then one dude who's managed to, he's been in the queue for fucking 45 minutes.

Aye, he's queued up, aye. And he gets there, stands on the table, doesn't attempt to claim over it, pulls his fucking shorts down, whips his cock, his soft cock, just puts an eye on his mouth

right down to the fucking pubes and then his hand just He doesn't get the whole thing. Nah, he got the Well he was like It was soft. Aye, but he got the well he was like it was soft oh but he got the tip in even just getting the tip

in a soft cock that's pretty much all of it I mean that says a lot about me and why I couldn't do it but he just got his full the meat of the flesh of his cock and his butt

I just want to clarify for the listeners this is not like a bit like genuinely this guy sucks also can you just make sure it's recording

yeah right good he actually put the dick I want this on record he legit put the dick and it was it caught everyone off guard

because we were just sitting there smoking weed everyone's like over exaggerating the responses right someone falls off a table they're like ooh someone gets on climbs over there smoking weed everyone's like over exaggerating the responses right someone falls off a table they're like ooh someone gets on climbs over

and they're like yeah celebrating like over exaggerating and then nobody knew how to respond I think like I just started slow hand clapping

like in awe mouth wide open like I'm next and then he just pulled his trousers up sauntered off fucked off just disappeared into the fucking masses of people And then And then He just pulled his Trousers up Sauntered off Fucked off

Just disappeared into the fucking Mass of people Proper assassins created it Just blended in with a bunch of monks He was gone and I was like Look I'm gonna make sure He saw that and he's dead And I knew I wasn't bat-shed crazy

Aye The poor next person that Tried to climb up to the table Like mate Someone just sucked his own dick On that table You could levitate around it And I wouldn't give a shit

Fucking suck your own dick on that table you could levitate around it and I wouldn't give a shit fucking suck your own dick or nothing new game new fucking rules get your cock out put it in your mouth get out of here onto the next one I just get up, kiss it

underwhelm them so yeah that was fucking blew my mind it was properly impressive I've never them so yeah I thought it fucking blew my mind it was properly impressive

I've never I didn't think it was possible I just thought not all heroes wear

capes but they all can suck their dick all heroes can probably could

though super heroes Mr. Stretch could like what's it Mr. Fantastic why is he

even out the house stay in the bathroom all day I don't know I feel like Batman couldn't suck his own dick well Why is he even out the house? Stay in the bathroom all day? I don't know. I feel like Batman couldn't suck his own dick.

Well, he's got Archer. What do you call him? Geoffrey? Geoffrey Archer. Geoffrey? Robin. No, man. I mean, Robin wants to suck his dick, but he was his butler. What? Alfred.

Hi. That's not what you said. I was going to offer to roll another split, but I don't think you need one. You're unwanted. Me? I think we should explain the context of this game, which was just the whole time at Glass and Bray. It got like 9am, right? It was a huge

myself, yourself and a big shout out to Kirstie Doody it started subtly because I think Rick had popped his head out the camper van and was like does anyone want a gin and tonic and everyone was like yeah please I'll have one when he went in I would just turn to Kirstie and say sorry but him he's wanted

we've realised it's one of the worst things you can do but one of the funniest things to do because there's no way to defend it is if if everyone is drunk right if everyone is drunk and you just apologize for someone else for being drunk there's nothing they can do to get out of it because you sound more drunk if you get agitated by it you're like i'm not even drunk when you clearly are and the other person 9am in Glastonbury. The other person is clearly as drunk as you as well. But you're like, you're drunk too.

And they're like, all right, mate, calm it down. Then every time you spoke, I was like, I will have had a drink. You could have been saying something productive. No. You're like, all right, one too many will take this off you. You weren't wanted, though. I was fine. Probably weren't.

You had a mega druth. Yeah. When I said you got rushed into hospital, there was a druth and it sounded like a bold, like just a joke, like I was slamming you. In Rocknest in 2012, did you drink when you were on antibiotics or something? No, no. You were feeling rotten in the morning.

No, I had tendonitis in my shoulder so I just got told to take ice from lifting sick weights, mate. And I was told to take ibuprofen for it

but, and it was still sore so I was taking ibuprofen for two weeks and apparently if you take ibuprofen every day for more than four days

it melts the stomach lining. I thought you were a pussy. Nah, science. Fucking lightweight. It's got absolutely nothing to do with

what is it morphine is it an ibuprofen truth sorry eventually if you take too many ibuprofen it drives you

more crazy no that's not he came to my tent and he could barely get his words out I was wetting his lips with

my fingers I didn't even wet them just touching his lips what are you going to do with these

pretty little boy so you're going to have to take us to hospital. And I was like, get on me back. Started making motorplay noises wheeling the way. Because I had the car. I'm not having this story.

I get in the car, fucking take you, fucking like Tokyo Drift all the way to the fucking RVI. The Royal Victorian Infirmary. Which is in Newcastle it's quite a hike you actually got aolacatari I'm fine I'm better went round the back

of your head to scratch your nose there yep I'm gonna do that just for the visual on the podcast so we got you

to the hospital and the doctor was like he put a fucking little thing in your mouth like you know that little thing that keeps your tongue

doing and then he was like oh dry as a bone he has a glass of water with a cooler got a prescription paid eight quid for it health care is free

you pay for your prescriptions do you not in Scotland no oh no maybe you do maybe I just ran out tell us about it was it an ibuprofen

prescription anyway you got water on prescription for your truth and then went back to the festival And got on it You unwanted That was the festival

I met Natalie Was it Oh yeah so it was Yeah she was Watching us on stage Going You've got a wet mouth Big brown eyes

Big brown boobs Do you want to go through What happened When we were watching Game of Thrones earlier Oh yeah I was probably Fucking Slate Well not slate We're re-watching Game of Thrones Because the new season Comes out And we want to go through what happened when we were watching Game of Thrones earlier oh yeah I was probably fucking

slated well not slated we'll be watching Game of Thrones because the new season comes out and we want to catch up and we're massive

fucking nerds so on like season 2 so Jon Snow's north of the wall Jon Snath Jon Snath he's just met Ygritte

you're a bastard bye you're a bastard Jon Snow and obviously we were talking about how like obviously

my rant was that he was out of the wall he was fucking holding hands with Ygritte and whatever else You're a bastard, Jon Snow. And obviously we're talking about how, like, obviously... My rant was that he was out of the wall. He was fucking holding hands with Ingrid and whatever else. I was like, fucking look at Jon Snow. He fucking kneels dude in front of a tree with a fucking sword on his shoulder or whatever the ceremony was. He's like, oh, I vow to protect the West from... the West rust from wildlings.

And I vow to never take a woman. And then he just claims the wild, books a woman, a wildling, and he's just like, Vows schmouse. Right, but that's not the way you said it. You were picking him up.

I know, I was going, he just fucks his vows, claims the wild, books a wildling, just breaks two rules in one, that's why I like him. Yeah, your exact words were I respect a man

who breaks his vows easily a year before you get married I didn't mean it vows are silly yeah I didn't I didn't mean my vows

I'm gonna stick to my vows but not because I said them sorry but not before I say them anything that could be on me when I get a vow that I'm gonna

like hop from now until the honeymoon and then just whack off? I broke his vows. Aye, because I don't give a fuck about hopping. Or vows, apparently. But the point is,

why would you make the vow in the first place? All I'm saying is... Aye, just to get the fucking night's watch off your back. Because if he doesn't make the vows, what are they going to do? Like...

Like... Right, what are they going to do? A little bit of admin for the night watch. If they don't make your vows... Aye. Do they kick you? Do they let you go back to society? No, no, no. They chop your head off. Aye. what do they do little bit of admin for the night watch if they don't make your vows why do they kick you do they let you go back

into society no no they chop your head off aye so say anything what I'm saying is aye aye oh wildlands

aye oh bad eggs aye booking women I don't want to do that anyway I wasn't going to do that aye I vow not to book

because you're going to get your head chopped off if you don't say it of course he's going to say it of course he's going to climb it Of course he's going to Climb the wall But go out That's why I like him You know he didn't

Climb the wall He just can't throw it Shall we move on To our first game Which you haven't even Got the ball for Now this is the thing That we need to sort of

Bring up with the podcast Listeners It's because I can keep Coming up with muggles And he can't Well it's getting to the stage now where it's obviously you've noticed we've dropped off on our ability to do because we're not together all the time.

He lives down in London now. We're in different places. So we're thinking after this episode we might take a sabbatical for a bit up until maybe like midway through the fringe or at least when the tour starts. When we start the fringe we can get going. We'll get it back to scratch and we'll get some

which is only a couple of weeks we'll mix it up with a guest instead of doing the muggles but it's just for the next

couple of weeks we'll take it off because we're running a I cannot maybe we could have some kind of game where

we'll like make a Q&A for our guests and we'll ask them a couple of questions so you make a couple of

questions I'll make a couple of questions and maybe we'll do what we originally did in the podcast

which is mix the games up we'll come up with more games because that's the reason why we're running out of Muggle

Corners is because Muggles became a favourite and we kept doing it and now we've run out so maybe we

put it on the back because we kept doing euphemisms every week I don't mind euphemisms we'll just put

more games back in remember when we wrote biographies about each other reminiscing

good friends I don't have any Muggles so I will stand in the wrote biographies about each other oh yeah reminiscing good friends right what's your I don't have any muggles so I mean I will stand in the corner for that

muggles can't come up with muggle stuff on the spot telling someone that they're opening a banana wrong now you go oh that's not how

you open it but I'm opening it from the bottom because the seeds bits in the thing I'm absolutely in the corner for that yeah that

the other one that doesn't have is I don't need a have a I can fucking bite through the middle of it with my teeth I can do what I want in 34

in a week plug channel reminder I'd like to plug my birthday 5th of July this Wednesday buy tickets

you can't actually it's actually so lewd I shouldn't I shouldn't punch the trunk if there's left for my birthday so but see that's the thing is you are opening bananas because you can swap the stringy bits It's actually so lewd. I shouldn't punch the trunk. It's left for me a bit after. But see, that's the thing is,

you are opening bananas. Because you can stop the stringy bits. That's the reason I say, if you pinch the top and you pull it apart, you can stop the stringy bits. It's not because I said stringy bits. I'm ambivalent. You eat the stringy bit.

Like, hey, you could go, hey, you could open it from the other end and this will happen. Not like, you're doing it wrong. Yeah, but you kissed your... You are uninformed. You don't read the instructions on your banana. I've not come with a little folder

that's been in the middle. Came with an Allen key, mine did. It had a little label on it. Right. Hang on, two dots. You would have thought it would be one.

Not machine washable. You've got to hand wash and then flatten your bananas. Otherwise, you're doing it wrong. No, I mean, I totally agree with you It's absolutely My thing to do

But also What about these things Like things you've been Doing wrong Clickbait Ten things you've been Doing wrong One of them was like

You know when you pour juice And you like take the cap Off the juice And pour it from a carton And it like glug glug glug Apparently if you do that Upside down It just flows out

And it's like Oh these are things You've been doing wrong. Apparently, you have the lid at the top, not at the bottom. It flows over just like a fucking remarkable little rainbow of orange. No. And then you take it that way. It's like, blip, blip, blip, blip, blip, blip. It's like a bad background rap singer.

Blip, blip. Blip, blip. Blip, blip. Oh, yeah. I have those arguably life hacks, though. Because, I mean, opening up on... rap singer blip blip blip blip blip blip oh yeah I had those arguably life hacks though because

I mean Snoop Dogg shared that one I don't think he manages his own page Snoop Dogg shared it I was like

oh Snoop Dogg sharing these are fucking 10 things in life he's been doing wrong I thought but he's at that age now

what he's into you know like he's getting he's into arts and crafts and stuff life hacks my life easier oh he's just

crocheting what do you want from us? I want you to I mean I agreed with you They were put in the corner I think so I'm trying to think If there's any other things

Like close to When people correct you That people do wrong It's basically It's social pedantry I do quite like though Even though the muggles Are the people

Let's say you're doing it wrong I do like them little things Where you go Oh that's a thing I didn't realise that. On the petrol sign on your car, there's a little triangle on the left or on the right, whichever side the triangle's on,

that's where you say, yeah, petrol cap's on. So there's a handful of things like that where you're hearing it, where you could give someone that information if it would have been a knob. Right. So your problem's with the smugness of the thing. Yeah, that you're doing it wrong. But also, I think it is also because,

let's be honest there's no right or wrong way to open a banana it's like it's it's a nut I think it's one of those weird ones it's one of those weird ones where it's like

like a strawberry's not a berry a strawberry's not a berry but like a watermelon is see I was saying if someone opened a banana okay a banana might not be a nut right if someone turned to them and went

excuse me I've got a nut allergy they wouldn't look fucking bonkers no because then I'd turn to the, if someone opened a banana... Okay, bananas might not be a nut. If someone turned to them and went, excuse me, I've got a nut allergy, they wouldn't look fucking bonkers. No, because then I'd turn to the banana and be like, oh yeah, well, I've got a gun. Oh, we do that. We point the banana at each other and you've got a date. Oh yeah, that is okay. Have fun with this game.

I'm going to talk you through it, right? You point the banana at your friend and tell them to do something. But if you tell them to do something that they're not going to do, right? You've got to pretend a banana's a gun. They're making you do it with their shit. You've got to train on them. But if you say something like do something like that they're not going to do you've got to pretend a banana's a gun they're making you do it but if you say something like suck your own dick they're not going to do it, the game's over

or it's like eat that dog shit eat that dog shit, not going to do it but if you say twerk, your mate's probably going to twerk because if he's out the game he can't get the banana, he can't point it at you it's over, the minute you say no it's over so you don't want the person you're pointing at the banana at to say no, you want them to go right, it's worth doing this just so I can get the banana, he can't point it at you, it's over. The minute you say no, it's over. So you don't want the person you're pointing at the banana at to say no. You want them to go, right,

it's worth doing this just so I can get the banana back and get that cunt back. And the game goes on as long as he can keep someone from going, nah, not doing it. So in Glastonbury, at one point, when you were heavily into your sesh, like we'd have a couple of drinks, we'd be out for a bit, I'd manage to get the banana and turn it on you and

make you do a hundred press-ups, which in full fairness, you did six of., we'd run out for a bit. I managed to get the banana and turn it on you and made you do 100 press-ups. Which in full fairness, you did six of. Nailed them. You did six of. Yes, I did 50, about 50. Ah, mate. You just want to take that. Oh, he has a muggle thing.

They were weak-ass press-ups. Nah. How can I be weak? I'm doing a press-up, right? I had a fucking straight back. I've been at a fucking white tie for months. Do you think my fucking coach would let us do it? Do you think my crew would let us do a bad press-up

when we're arsed in the air? Your chest did not go below the elbows. Man, 50 is not a problem. I can do like 70, 80 press-ups. I can do 70, 80 of those ones. Go on then. No, no, no, no. I'll do it after.

Easy. Right, after the podcast, right? Right, we need to settle this. I was doing normal press ups but because they didn't like it they were like they went and

all that I can just bust through 50 press ups like nobody's business so him and Ricketts is there pointing the gun

doing 50 press ups and I just start whizzing them out and they're like oh no you're going too fast oh you've got to touch the grass

with your face oh your arms have got to be wider and I kept every time you were fucking saying something I was going a bit lower I was

how can you remember you were munted I was fucking made. I just started. Nah. Nah. That was just the fucking beginning. And then, the rest of the day, I rode with a pumped up chest like a fucking He-Man figure.

A little lever on my back. Danny's pulling a dune and I'm just fucking punching people out of the way. Well, like Rock'em Sock'em Puppets. We never had those over here, did we? Remember those? Oh, yeah. Those were always toys I saw in American cartoons. Is that why there's like A blue robot And a red robot

Like that was it That was like such a Pop culture reference In every cartoon There was always Like Simpsons Yeah But it was always

In references in The Simpsons And I'm like I've never seen that game In my fucking life Never seen it Nah Not in the good old days We should get it for the fringe

We should get a risk What's your next mug of corn? I held a banana to you And made you drink water out of a dog bowl that did happen aye

you were lying on your belly you shuffled over and then licked the water out of the dog bowl aye good day

that was fucking brutal you can do like can I do that anyway what's your next mug of corn

what did I do when I was getting rickets to get changed oh my god this is worth talking about what's your next mug of corn this is worth saying I held a was getting rickets to get changed oh my god this is worth talking about what's your next

middle corner this is worth saying I held banana rickets and I went get changed

and he's just getting changed he's literally just getting his good gear on for going out into Glastonbury

from the campsite and I held it and I was like get changed he was fucking furious I was like

everything boxers socks works change your whole outfit and then he was about to start getting changed

he stood up started doing his belt and he looked and went got the banana the other way around the banana the wrong way around which is a muggle for point

I was holding the fucking banana wrong but you were holding it wrong there's no wrong way to hold a banana if you pretend it's a gun absolutely

there is a gun way to hold it because that's clearly clipped on the bottom like the fucking and you were holding it facing yourself so what we realised at that point is I just told myself at it because that's clearly clipped on the bottom like the fucking... And you were holding it facing yourself so what we realised

at that point is... I just told myself at banana point that I had to get changed. Suicide. I just did a fucking point. And then he got changed and because it was his turn

Rick has then picked up the banana and then made him get changed again. I got changed more than Katy Perry. So I'll give you another Muggle coin.

Oh Jesus, didn't know what to ask that time. Muggles skip cutscenes so I'll give you another Muggle coin oh Jesus didn't have to ask that Tim Muggles skip cutscenes in computer games like if they haven't seen them yet right

is this a reference to me this isn't you you haven't seen it I've seen you skip a cutscene because when we're lost we're safe yeah yeah

I was going to justify that one you skip them but that's what actually made us think about it right because I was like

that's a Muggle act even though in context it wasn't a muggle act even though in context it wasn't a muggle act it registered in my head like some people do that some people are pretty like Metal

Gear Solid and the story's progressing they're just like nah yeah I don't understand people that it's this part of the game is the story like don't get me wrong like what

a game has over a book is the fact that it's a fucking game it's interactive you're doing this but it's still there's a story you know what you're doing all that shit for you know what you're doing

all that shit for you know what you're killing them gods for or what you're trying to infiltrate one of the best games I've played that fucking

Horizon Zero Dawn it's one with the big dinosaur robots and I was like how the fuck are you going to justify a game with a storyline

with big robot dinosaurs and they did and it was one of the best oh man of the most why didn't you skip that and just shut the robot dinosaurs

with no question it would have been shit oh man I kept playing that game because I found it so fascinating I was like what is the and they fully justify and create the context

and as well you know when like a boss has given you a chip throughout the thing like what we play now Borderlands 2 with the handsome Jack constantly like

giving him a tack and smack giving his lip imagine you skip all that and then you meet handsome Jack and you're just like you've got no animosity towards him

who's this guy? Come on, just shake hands and get on with our day. You know, I think... I will agree with that. I think it's just... It's like the game equivalent of, like,

sitting on your phone during House of Cards. Yeah. It's like, are you just watching this to say you've watched it? Uh-huh. To get the Xbox achievements.

Yeah, like, it's a real... Because, I mean mean House of Cards is a good reference there because I've caught myself doing that sometimes where I'm like I've not been paid attention. That's one show you kind of blink. And as well I have to keep pausing and ask Natalie what the fuck's a tea party? They just question it, what's a tea party for? It's just a party. I just ping his up. I'm too stupid for that programme.

I just sat around a little pink table and you've got all your stuffed animals there, right? And Mr Pimpkins doesn't want sugar in his tea, but Muggins does. And then you've got to stir it, like even though there's no tea in the cup, you've got to stir the plastic spoon. You've got to drink it, pinkies up properly,

put it down, draw a wee bicky with it. And do the dishes in the ala carte kitchen. I'll be honest with you, I give up the mind once it becomes time to do the dishes. What, when you're playing in the kitchen? When I'm playing, I don't do the aftermath. You don't put the money in?

You don't play on that, they pay you up with your toys. See when I... You don't have to pay me up with your toys, I always had a dinner party left at Aloud. You want to have everything stored away nicely? No, no, no, because like... You want my money?

Mate, when I was having tea parties with all my imaginary friends, we all went back to the bedroom, like, we cleaned up. It was a massive... Did you ever have a Cadillac toy? Oh, you did? We've spoken about this. Fergus the fungus.

Your little... Mushroom. Did it have a rapey thumb or something? Oh, no, that was Gav's. What was it? Fuck. Come on. Rutherford.

Rutherford had like two thumbs and two fingers pointing out like make a finger gun right that right plastic thumb finger and it had a belly button

two nostrils a mouth like a whistling mouth two ears and a butthole but to be fair we made that I don't think it had a butthole

but design flaw yeah and I had a you know about Fergus the Fungus yeah we spoke about it on the podcast I can't think it had a butthole but design flaw yeah and I had a you know about Fergus the Fungus yeah we spoke about it

on the podcast I can't remember what it was he's a fun guy oh it was the little mushroom that's a proud muggle joke isn't it aye did your parents buy you

that little mushroom the killer's guy Brendan Flowers done a muggle joke oh man so at Glastonbury we came back and we were watching

because we missed the killers because there were so many people there. You were too munted. We tried to give you a King's Carry, but you kept dragging your legs and that. You were playing chapter or run on tents. You actually ran off and spewed. I didn't run off, I walked away. This is how bad this game was, it muddied the waters because when you actually had a whitey and you ran off fucking Barry Whitey fucking right off

the fucking wall you sat down next to this girl this poor girl who's just sat by the fence and you just sat down with like pasty white eyes and asked for a drink

no no no no no no no no I'm calling absolute fucking horseshit because the first bit of that

is absolutely true what happened was I got that feeling in my fucking stomach I sometimes spew when I'm drunk anyway I'll do tactical spews. But this was like four days of drinking.

I'm like, oh God, just keep it down. It's the last day. Have some fucking self-respect, would you? And I just felt like churning and churning. I'm like, it's just going to be a little one. It's not even. And I started to walk away to get fresh air. And I felt it coming.

I was like, I'm not going to spew in a crowd of people. I'm not going to spew on someone. Like that's a real shit thing to do. To spew on the back of someone's leg. So went through, Spewed against the thing Sat down Absolutely munted Right

As bad as you were Right No India And I just sat down And I was sitting there Just taking deep breaths in there And the girl beside me Just because it's proper glass

She was just like Would you like a glass of water And I was like Would I Just poured it over your head Passed it to you Because you had drool You sat down next to the girl

And said Will you keep my hair Out of my sick And then you spewed on her lap Mate this is Stole her drink Stole her heart Jesus Christ

You've told so many lies In a row It's been a Fibonacci sequence I should get defibrillated Ah good Not enough to laugh at But But I acknowledge what was there.

So we're watching The Killers on the catch-up. Yeah, the John Peel thing. And he, Brandon Flowers, did a proper, proper hack joke. Like mainstream. Like working men's club comic in the old school sense. It's pantomime hack. And the line is, they say you play whatever venue you're at twice. The John Peel tent.

That was the one. They say you play, you do pantomime twice in your career. Once on the way up, and once on the way down. So. It's good to be back. It's a 40 year old fucking joke.

It's so old. I've known it since I was nine. And Frampton Brandon Flowers An adult man Did it sincerely You tell that joke twice in your life Oh no you tell it once You're going to tell it on your way up I should have told it a few times

Depends how long the panel runs What about when you go You play the John Peel tent twice in your life Once on the way up And once on the downs So it's good to be here for the first time Journey begins here It's going to be here for the first time. Journey begins here.

It's going to be a good one. See you again in a few years, guys. On the way down. I don't know if I clarified that. And I'm going to do that joke and it's going to become evident why I'm on my way down.

Right. Because I'm used not only am I doing the same songs, maybe it's the best of them. Which next one do I go? Also, what time are we on? So what were we getting at there

when we're on 37 what didn't need admin no I was what was the last one what was the muggle one the last one was skipping cut scenes

I just think what got rid of killers doing a muggle joke oh who knows let's rewind let's try and get back through

oh this will be fascinating to listen to right let's not yeah there we go you want the next muggle one yes please people who wear

knee socks to five side what's that going to do just point it out you've got an injury show us where to tackle

put a little target on it little bullseye especially in the league in the league you fucking punch his thing

right team talk the number five's got a bad knee get at him you're such a cunt. What's a knee suck? What's a knee suck going to do,

right? So wait, playing five and saying, do you know how high impact five and Sorry, just to put the

context of this, what you're saying is, if you ever play football with someone and you see they have a visible injury, you think it's like

them pointing out where it's at. Oh, absolutely. You think it's like in Fallout 3 When it's You know when

You know when Police Police have got their Stab vests on right In the stand With their hands Tucked into their like Breast you know

Like by their armpits And they're like Oh mate Chub in I know how to stab you So Yeah that's I'll point out a flaw there

anyway knee socks you're saying they're the air vent of the death star you see their biggest player you're like oh it's no bigger

than a one I'll be able to get it imagine big league game fucking you're second in the table they're top by two points they're fucking beating you six four fucking see the guy with a knee sock on and

you didn't think we played against four men god what a competitive bag of shit you are you've never played in a five-a-side league, have you? What a competitive... To ruin a man's life.

Comes on with his knee stuck on you like, nah, someone's off work tomorrow. That's a proper fucking dog I play. The NHS just got heavier. That's a proper fucking dog-eye play. The NHS just got heavier. But I say it right, because this is the thing. I don't think it does fuck all.

If you need any stock, you shouldn't be on the pitch. Because it's not like the Champions League final where you are 100% necessary to this game. It's a five a side league Darren will play but it's the how high impact it is

compared with how much resistance that knee sock gives you it's so arbitrary it's such a trivial amount of help you're getting

I think the only two worst things than a knee sock to get a five a side is wearing ankle socks or wearing a wind sock wind sock. Wind sock?

Just in the back as a helmet sort of thing. Calipers. Like Forrest Gump. Yeah, Forrest Gump has it on the five-a-side. You try to snap and he's like, ha, plus five defence.

Oh, man. Did you properly kill people in five-a-side? Because what... No, you're going hard in the leagues. Because... Like, if you're both

going for the ball, right? And you're both running for the... Because sometimes you'd be against the fences, right? And you kind of put your hands on the fences or anything like that, right? And you'd be, like... You'd go rough against them.

Sometimes, when you're on the wall side and you're both running for the ball and he's on the inside, you're like, I'm not running for the ball anymore. Like, I'm just... I'm intercepting your trajectory. I'm going...

It's crazy. I've just realised, like Like now that you are So the Just the The scammier Oh not scammier Nick Coney's cunt But the British Nick Coney Because all my favourite

Nick Coney stories Are him When he used to do Aussie rules football And it's the exact same He was just like I just went out To fucking kill cunts

I used to hear You're the British Nick Coney Except he's got a chest Fucking so bad I'm a glass of repressives But Sometimes as well You're the British Nick Cody except he's got a chest. Fucking so bad. I'm a glass of repressives. But sometimes as well,

if you're not going to get to the ball, you run around the back of the wing and you can clip the leg. Make a little look at the back as if you're going to get in front of goal or something like that. You change your direction and you just clip the heel and it just goes behind the calf.

And the guy's scared to go to bed. And the referee ran into me you are such a piece of shit well that'll do no fine we're all pieces of shit like we say

league in bright Blythe was a doggy dog and I can tell you we did nothing like that when we were playing polo I had a fight with a fucking ref at the do wait I had a fight with a fucking ref At the do Wait

I had a fist fight with a ref During the game The do The do The do The presentation The trophy presentation There was a trophy presentation

For the five side league It's a proper league It's not a proper league It is You can say that to yourself I ran it I did eventually I actually ran the Concordia one for a bit

but enough about my career I this fucking ref started giving a shit about how much of a dick I was on the pitch and I was like dick up here now so what did you throw

punched away fucking started wrestling as a big dude give me a red card got separated I got choked he stayed in I fucking Started wrestling As a big dude Give you a record Got separated I got chucked You can stay there

A couple of shanties Too many Who would hold me I wouldn't do that to you You might have kicked someone Seven weeks ago didn't you Aye I'm sorry

Was that also the old you Did we tell that story On the podcast Probably did didn't we Probably Fucking smack head start on us So You fucking

Volleied him in the ribs Kicked him I opened with a kick I opened with a Thing Knocked him out I feel like You are

Like because I'm such a Non-violent person Like never been in a fight Like jamed the not interest In violence In fucking any way Share perform But

You promoted so well That I laugh at stories that if I was there, I would have been horrified throughout. Like the way you and Cody talk about fights, I'm like,

man, I would have loved to have been there. And then for a second, I'd be like, I would have been running away. I would have been coming. Asking the guy if he's all right. He'll just look up,

you're the first living gun. Be like, I'm on to you. Hi, are you looking like you've got a bit of a drift? Let's see if I can get some blood in there. So you, like you've got a bit of a drift let's see if I can get some blood in there

so you then you kiss him if we could like for an A cap so that was skip cut scenes

well I don't yeah that was the that was people who wear knee socks that was clearly not cut scenes definitely not

there's a couple of cut scenes where you had a bus lip In I'm not I'm just going to let that I'm just going to let that

Absolutely hang there What do you mean ref? Ref was in He ran into this I wasn't in the box Box was over me Right so let's go through Your three again

I don't know if I can disagree With that one Because I didn't play if I can Disagree with that one Because I didn't play it up But it does seem a bit I don't know I just think it's a bit wet A bit wet with your knee sucked on But okay bro

But let's Okay okay But let's Okay let's put it In some context here So you're saying For five a side What about like

If it's a fucking The comics football Rub a bit of Vicks On your chest now Yeah you're thrown Fucking one of your mates Like what if it's in Like the comics

football like oh yeah like a friendly game yeah friendly game that's fine I was saying

that even when you wear a fucking sock then just take the sock off play football no but like

what if it's just like a friendly fucking kick about I wouldn't aim for it but like I don't want

to ride that edge no but I'm like is it still muggly I wouldn't get out of the knee

no but I'm saying is it still muggly under that context I out of the knee sock no but I'm saying is it still muggly under that context I'm asking the stipulations here

like if it's a friendly game are you allowed to wear a are you a muggle if you wear

windsock again yeah I think so I just don't think it does anything I mean it just to me this sounds

like you are like because I reckon it does you sure well no I'm not sure but the fact that

like professionals do it you know when you've talked about knocking football you know I think oh I wish it was. You sure? Well, no, I'm not sure, but the fact that, like, professionals do it. You know, when you've took a knock in football, you know, I think, oh, I wish it was, like, a thin layer of fabric. I think it's not, because it's tight, it's to keep the muscles... Oh, it's for your veins.

I've got his veins. Do you think for them both? I think you walk up and down the flight as well, do you, you muggle? Fucking flexing your toes. I mean, now all you're saying is muggles get diseases alright wear a sock

but just now that bit of a muggle is it a muggle is it not well I don't know but I don't think it is I think if they're not real

then yes it's muggly but if they are real then it's not muggly here's my two options for football right if I've got a gammy knee if you play football I'll give it

to everyone who'd put I might have to gan off after five minutes make sure there's subs

or gamine's bit so not hold on I'll just I'm just gonna

take him out and out of this situation needs I mean muggle

I mean I feel like there's a physical therapist who's listening to this going, no, it's real. Like you've been a dick. Don't aim for it. It's got to have two votes that I'm not confident enough to put it in the corner. Okay, so carry on wearing your knee sock, but just know I'll be buried somewhere in your mind while you're playing football. And then buried in the back of your knee. And skip cut scenes again and you're

dead. Also telling someone that they're opening a banana wrong or anything of that ilk. Yeah just social pedantry.

Sort of the way you say it. If you're giving someone a little tip be like it'd be easier if you actually did it this way as opposed to you

know you're doing that wrong. You know you fucked up. Yes. Right should we go on, you fucked up. Yes. Right, should we go into your father jokes? Yes. Is Kev going to get it first?

Aye. Your dad calls pubes nature's floss. Your dad walks through the city centre ringing a bell and shouting the news. Your dad calls leaves tree pubes. Your dad fucks the gap between the toilet and the seat Puts pressure on it for tightness

You can imagine it's your bum It smells like it Your dad calls barcodes price zebras and whenever he goes shopping he says I'm off on safari Your dad left a trail of dildos from your room to the dining room so he could trick

into having dinner with the family your dad calls his ex every night trying to get her back your dad bought you flavored condoms for his birthday every night trying to get her back. Your dad bought you flavoured condoms for his birthday. Your dad was eating a blue ice pool and when he looked in the mirror he thought he had hypothermia. Your dad lives with his parents

and he's not allowed girls back. Your dad can get upstairs but not downstairs and if he ever does get upstairs, but not downstairs. And if he ever does get upstairs, you have to shoot him. His knees don't bend the other way. You can't walk back. What? Your dad blows bubble gum and twirls his hair with his eyebrow raised

while the police question him. Your dad wears a strap-on while ironing to help him fold clothes. There's a life hack for you. I wish I did that at the skirt factory. Wait, it got in my mouth.

I think it was at the height of how high I was when I wrote this one your dad jumped up and grabbed a seagull by it's feet and it flew off with him your dad is training to be a sniffer dog he's already got the collar in no balls

straight I've got this one I've left one out there I go to the park with your dad throw a ball for him and when he brings it back

I give him a biscuit sounds to me like he's training your dad went in a half and took his ball home while playing golf your dad put the baby monitors in the wrong room when you were a kid

and you had to listen to him crying Your dad lost his foreskin when he slammed his laptop shut too fast when your mum walked in on him jerking it while he was on the Neopets website. Very specific. Your dad listens to Bunker Strian

cassette when he's rollerblading. Your dad's got truth. Your dad's wanted. It's the name of the podcast. What are we going to plug? Our butts. Yeah, I'll do podcast. What are we going to plug? Our butts. Yeah, I'll do that. When we're doing electricity puns,

and we've done about 100 of them, we're just sat with the campfire getting drunk, and then Ricketts went, are you going to plug a show? And I went, have you seen them live? Good end to a good flurry. You'll love it when I tell it in joke oh fucking

it was such a good end to our podcast as well I know I'm going to plug my butt and Punch Drunk Comedy has got Delise Sochaponda

from Britain's Got Talent from Britain's Got Talent one of the funniest comedians out there one of the best dudes and also yeah one of the ones where like

a lot of the time Britain's Got Talent must be a fucking real difficult job for a comic oh it's like it's like you've got like a 99% the time Britain's Got Talent must be a fucking real difficult job for a comic oh it's like you've got like a 99% chance of looking shit

you've got that 1% chance of doing well off it and like Deliso shunned through because you can't make him look bad right because he's

just such a yeah that's how good a fucking comic he is so he's on at Punch Drunk so which ones aren't sold out so we're sold out in Blythe

we're sold out in Ashington on my birthday on Wednesday so the gigs you can come to is Tuesday I think there's less than 10 tickets left now that'll be sold out? So we're sold out in Blythe we are sold out in Ashington on my birthday on Wednesday so the gigs you can come to is Tuesday I think there's

less than 10 tickets left now that'll be sold out tonight so but you can come to sorry that's

the Thursday gigs Cramlington Bedlington on Tuesday has got a handful left less than 40 now and Morbeth

we'll put in later as an additional gig because they're all going to sell out and there's about 100 tickets left for that. It's more than half full already. Especially when the gigs are good.

They're all going to be sold out gigs. If you listen to it and there's a chance to pick up a ticket, be one of the people. We'll be taking a break for a bit. Do you want to plug your friend's show? Yes. I am doing a show called Punch Drunk named after my comedy club but also because it's a story about me having a fist fight with my brother who I went into business with called Punch Drunk named after my comedy club but also because it's a story about me having a fist fight

with my brother who I went into business with in Punch Drunk yeah it's a good story about a tale of brotherly love and having a fight I only gig I have weirdly if there are any Portuguese listeners I'm at a music festival somewhere

in Portugal on Thursday I have no idea where, so Google it. And also, my fringe show, I don't know what time it's on. I think it's 8 or 9. It's on the EICC. It's called Now. We've done previews, and it is fucking good.

So... So mine's on at 6.45, so yours is on a bit later. Are you going to make a night of it? You could actually have a Muggins and Cream day. You could. If you do both in one night, and you tweet us saying you've been to both and show the ticket stubs,

we'll tweet you which bar we're in and we'll buy you a pint. That could be a lot of pints. That could be a lot of pints. Yeah, I mean, let's try that out for the first weekend. Let's see how poor we get. The first five, get a pint. Yeah, that's good. We'll just say, look, we're going to be in Library Park

like fucking midnight. First ten that come to both shows with ticket stubs get a pint by us and you get to have a pint with us and we'll just insult your dad the whole fucking time. Yes.

Sweet. And also, let's plug Mark Nelson. Oh, yeah. Also, definitely go see Mark Nelson's show. Also, go see Gareth Waugh's show. Milo McCabe, Elliot Steele. Write these down. You can rewind the podcast by ten seconds.

Nick Cody, Demi Lardner. Ryan Cullen. Ryan Cullen. Tom Horton is doing his debut hour. Matthew Ellis is doing a kid's show. He is, my flatmate. He's doing a kid's show. What's the age range, darling?

Four to twelve. You have a four to twelve year old. What's the show called, Ellis? When Will I Be Famous. Jelly Bean, When Will I Be Famous. And it is on at? One fifteen in the afternoon. One fifteen in the afternoon.

Free. Free. Sisters. Free Sisters. And it's afternoon free free sisters free sisters and it's a free show so if you have any kids between 4 and 12 you want to go see that show

I genuinely would recommend it because it is a show for both kids and adults arguably kind of more for adults like the yeah

it's one where the kids are going to enjoy it the adults are going to get little jokes and they're going to get laughed at the kids are going to have fun

but the adults are going to laugh at the kids getting marked you're going to have a good day come to Fringe also I've got a bunch of other gigs between now and then in Brighton and Glasgow fun but the adults are going to laugh at the kids getting marked. You're going to have a good day. Come to Fringe. Also, I've got a bunch of other gigs between now and then in Brighton and Glasgow. Go to

kaihunfries.com where you can also buy my DVD on download on MP3. Apart from that, because we're going to take a little hiatus just for a couple of weeks until we come back, a genuine, genuine thank you for listening. We think we might try and sort of revamp it.

That's what we're trying to do. We're going to have to call it Muggins and Cream, right? Yeah, we're going to have to rename it. Like Sloss and Humphries on the road. It's so clunky. And you only named it that because your name was first. No, so we'll probably change the name of the podcast to Muggins and Cream.

They're Cream and Muggins. Cream and Muggins on the road. So yeah, we might change the... Change the format of it get guests on ask some questions mix it up a bit yeah just because we've

got such a we've got such a loyal fan base at the moment who are great and you're the ones that we've given you about a thousand muggles and about ten thousand dad jokes and

we're gonna we're gonna fuck around with the format a little bit yeah see what's going down same old us yeah so we'll see you in a couple of weeks and thank you very much

for listening love you lots do love you all