Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Moon Monkeys

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

Passing through the mean streets of Cambridge Muggins and Cream find a non violent use of the good book. They boys collect venues like Pokemon and discuss where mans likenesses to the monkey ends. Kai gets rejected from mass and Daniel wants to cameo in a Marvel movie. #20      Improve the contents of your fridge with delicious cider from our partner Thistly Cross using your 10% off discount code. Enjoy!   www.thistlycrosscider.co.uk  Discount Code: thistlysloss10      Join us at Altitude festival for a live podcast in the Alps, 1-5 April 2024. Get discounted festival tickets with your 10% discount code.   www.altitudefestival.com  Discount Code: mugginsandcream24

Sloss and Humphries on the road! Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin', livin' the dream That's our intro Fuckin' muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head that makes you laugh Woohoo! They said it can't be done! Are we in the same seats?

That's hack Ah, muggles! Accidental rim job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or am I just being cynical? Just muggled it up on fuckin' Mugglepedia Where have you been since 9-11? Do you like my use of the Gideon's Bible?

Huh? Do you like my use of the Gideon's Bible? No, no, I don't have any weed with me. Do you not think that's a good use of it? What is it? I'm using it like, because you know when you put the podcast clamp arms. Sorry, I thought this was, there was the thing under here that was holding it. I see. So we've got a glass table as a

makeshift for the listeners. Glass table as a makeshift desk for what makes stands. But the clips don't quite fit on the metal bar underneath. So I've wedged a Bible in. And praise be to Jesus we'll have a podcast. Yeah. Otherwise I was out of ideas. There's nowhere else to

clip it. Try clipping it there didn't work there's nowhere to have it I mean we probably would have I would have just been holding we don't just have regular stands and not with us well didn't pattern did I

well then what's the fucking point in any of this just gonna say the quality's meant to be going up how do we not have stands I'm fucking improvising with the bible oh well

tell me a good time when you've improvised with the bible to be fair I think it's I think it's one of the, like, on the spectrum of things the Bible has been used for.

It's on the less evil side of the spectrum, right? You know? But I don't think that's a good barometer of anything. That's true.

I don't compare my human values to Christian values. Do you think anyone's used the Bible to break a stained glass window? Break a stained glass window? Absolutely. Do you think anyone's used a Bible to break a stained glass window? Break a stained glass window? Absolutely. Do you think so? With a Bible?

Oh, at church? Aye. Anyone's ever knocked Jesus off the cross with it? Well, I wonder if on Kristallnacht, were the Nazis Christian? Surely. That seems like a Christian thing to do.

No, but I've just been in the sense like they must have... Hitler wasn't their God, but... Did he ever talk about God? I mean, Trump does, doesn't he? Well, Trump does just because it's... Trump uses the Bible as leverage. Yes, and he can't quote any of it and he's never

actually read it, but it's like his... Can you quote any of the Bible? Off the top of my fucking head i know one as i walk through the valley of the shadow of the death you're just taking a look at myself that doesn't count you're just quoting raps that doesn't give me a lads there's nothing left yeah that doesn't count um no what's 316 what Don't call it Steve Austin. What is he referring to? I don't know.

That's a Bible verse, right? That's why he's called 316? Mm-hmm. Oh, of course, in the Bible, that's the bit where the glass shatters. And that's... I had glass in the Bible, in the Bible days.

See, he wasn't walking on water. He was just walking on glass. They would have had glass. They just didn't know what glass was. They would have had glass. When was glass invented? I think glass is ancient. It's hot sand, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Glass is hot sand. I'm not being ignorant and thinking that. I mean, it's very, very hot sand. Yes. All right. So that's got to be... Can you get natural glass?

Yeah. Like if there's a volcano near the beach? Yeah, sea glass. Sea glass? Yeah. Oh, because that's where it's meant to cool down Yeah And it turns into glass

I wish I had some of that then Mm-hmm Smash that in the Bible Sea glass Volcanic sea glass On chapter 316 of the Bible Is that what you're a bit engineered? I

No no no It was still Steve Austin's entrance music was Aye But that's Anyway I've never read I no no no it was Stone Cold Steve Austin's entrance music was alright but that's anyway I've never read when was the last time you were in church

actually gotta be a wedding there was a church wedding one of the one of the like early weddings Sean Anderson

or Nick Soulsby like the lads I went to St. Benedict's Catholic School with you went to a Catholic school? You're napping I didn't get expelled I got expelled from that one I didn't get expelled

from Ridley High School but I left because Because you were going to get barred I was going to get kicked Fuck Aye And I had friends

from football And you were like I'll tell you what I'll never get barred at Christian school Aye I went from the fucking nerdiest kid in really high school to the nerdiest kid

i went to i went to like christian camps like something about like literally just because my mom and dad wanted me out of the house for a week during summer like I'd be like I don't believe in God and they're like yeah but like you're out you get to fire gardens

you get to ride horses you get to go canoeing kayak and all that shit just shut the fuck up sing the songs and fuck off I never used to join in with the prayers

we used to do a prayer at the beginning of each thing and we used to do mass I did it with my fingers crossed behind my back. Did you? I wish this prayer would come true. I also think it's funny,

like if your whole thing is like, you don't believe in God, but if he does exist, he also can't just sit behind your back. The omnipotent God fooled by the most childhood of friends. Just because he can, just because he can be paying attention all the time, doesn't mean he is right.

Nah, that's true. You wouldn't, wouldn't you? You wouldn't like, I mean, come on, if you're out of school,

like got a question. If he's like omnipotent, he can be anywhere all at once. And he's just at a school checking on, checking on mass. I think he could be in lots of like, I just like, he could be in lots of places at once, just, like, he could be in lots of places

at once, but I don't think he, I mean, he's not real, but like, the type of, if I were religious, the type of God

that I would aim for is the, you know, hey, I love you, I've made everything, enjoy, and be good.

Do you know they wouldn't let me? As opposed to, you stop sucking that dick. No, you wouldn't ban that stuff. you wouldn't just have a couple of fucking hurricanes and tornadoes in the mix if anyone did it no I would absolutely use weather patterns as punishment

just not for that but that wouldn't be what I'd punish for oh man I'd absolutely love to be I'd be like I will absolutely tell you when you're doing things wrong by setting volcanoes off and doing hurricanes. That's what you get. Yep.

And it shouldn't be that hard to work out what it's about. It would be fucking every other second, wee. It would. It would be like the end of days. Someone's fucking... No, I feel like people would eventually... Someone's chatting at the reception desk of somewhere that you're waiting to get served

and they're having a conversation with a colleague and all of a sudden fucking lightning storm Outside People could harness it I think They could predict it If we stand in the middle of Automatic doors on the entrance Into an airport

I can get it to rain over there pretty heavily In five seconds You just have a cloud following one old lady around Yeah Just like a cartoon pretty heavily in five seconds. You just have a cloud following one old lady around. Yeah, yeah. It's just like a cartoon. Yeah, when I was in this Catholic school, they wouldn't let us neck the body of Christ. They wouldn't let us drink the blood.

Why? I'm an alcoholic. They're just because I wasn't Catholic. So, like, they've done mass on occasion, however often mass is, like, every now and again. What is it, like, six weeks or something occasion whenever, however often mass is like every now and again, what is it like six weeks or something? When do they have mass? Every Sunday.

I wasn't in school on a Sunday, but occasionally they'll have mass at school and they'd eat a bit of crisp and drink a bit of fucking whatever it was, fruit shoot instead of wine. And they're like, they're not even, he's in, he's in, he's in blood.

Fuck off. Do you just have to watch? I watched. So I, what do you think that is? using blood fuck off did you just had to watch had to watch just can't what do you think that is so they weren't trying to convert you they didn't have you and be like this is how we'll get you on board

never once we're going to use this that's weird for them to not really lean into indoctrination since that's the foundation of the Catholic Church I had to sit through it

I didn't get an extra break. When they did shit like that? I just didn't. I didn't think that our Christians were as exclusionary as the American ones. Yeah, I didn't even cross my mind that it was a thing. I didn't feel excluded. No, I mean, it's not.

I felt like they were all pathetic. No, they are. They're all. I couldn't get my head around it. I felt like they were all pathetic. No, they aren't. They're all. I couldn't get my head around it. I'd just sit there on a bench with the wings going, what the fuck is this fucking weird cult that I'm whacking it on? Anyway, friends were life for some of them, lads. Still.

You're best mates. Yeah. Oh, that does make sense. That is why all your friends are religious. Mm. I don't know. I think you always tell me facts about your life. And because I just don't care, I don't.

I don't retain any of it. You know what I remember as well? Like what was really eye-opening? How much hotter the Catholic glasses were than the heathens. Really? Moving from Ridley to St. Benabiscops. What do you reckon that is? Don't know. Do you reckon it is? Don't know

Do you reckon You know what They were all a bit more affluent And It may be something to do with that But that Affluence doesn't necessarily mean You have

Hot or a more minging It does If you've got more money You can get a hundred people Especially back in the day These people were having kids. In the natural selection scheme of things. Is that what you're saying?

Though it is very alt-right grifter territory of feeling like women are designed to go after men who have the most power and money. It's cut that shite. I see. For you to just say that that's the case,

you'd have to lean into the Andrew Tate policies That theory of just because we came from apes that we haven't invented several civilisations since then and learned from those civilisations as if we can't fucking man we're just monkeys

at the end of the day, motherfucker we've been to the moon like fucking, what are you talking about? We have, we have responsibility, we have ethics, and those have been around for thousands of fucking years. There are standards, we're all in a society. Like, if you're going to do the evolution, we'll come from monkeys thing, just go on further back and go, well,

I'll just amoeba at the end of the day. We're all just single-celled organisms. Like, man, we're all just monkeys. You're like, yeah, yeah, but then one day, as a society, we all came together and we were right. then one day as a society we all came together and we were right do we all agree

do we all agree that it's minging and not on to fuck a 15 year old everyone's like absolutely that would be the worst

and that's the society road that we have right that's not not a monkey road that's the society that's what we can all agree with monkeys are still doing that

they crack on we don't even stop them really dogs do it when they're like warning that that's what separates us

from dogs the fact that we have a society and we have laws in place I get so bored I'm just a monkey I'm just

I'm just I'm just responding to my natural instincts why are you wiping your bum then what's that paper on your hand

what are you wiping your arse for you brush your teeth you daft's that paper in your hand? What are you wiping your arse for? You brush your teeth, you daft cunt. Mr. Monkey with some stuff. Aye. Like dominance. I'm only a monkey when it comes to dominance.

I clip my nails. Well, I keep hearing, like, I never, obviously, it's so impossible to know what's actually true nowadays, but I keep seeing online, And I've obviously done zero research Apart from read the comments This is a thing to get you angry No no no this was like a positive one I guess But apparently Apparently the

The guy who came up with The alpha wolf theory Later found out That's just not the case it's not true Is that the alpha wolf like always says at the back of the pack out that it's just not the case, it's not true Is that the alpha wolf always at the back of the pack? Oh no, it's just in general that the idea of there is an alpha is not true

apparently It's mythical, the alpha wolf That changes everything I knew I thought there was like a wolf that was the pack leader I thought it was like a wolf that was the pack leader. Mm-hmm. I thought it was me.

No, the democracy. The democracy. Proper democracy, aye. Thought it, aye. Aye. That's what all the howling is. That's their senate. It's not too different now our parliament is done.

No, not at all. It's barking on at each other. Wolves don't bark, I'm aware of that. Don't they? Mm-mm. I mean, I don't know what I know anymore, but I know what I think I know. Which is?

Wolves don't bark. Barking is a communicating with humans thing. I mean, cats definitely don't meow in the wild. Lions don't meow? No. Do they purr? They do purr. Do they hiss?

It would be odd it'd be odd to hiss if you can roar it would totally disarm me like if I was like a lion's like prowling his stone

right and I was like oh fuck it's got a pose it's got a pose and they're like fuck off get out of here

you stupid didn't know you were an MCAS fucking get out of here before I fucking chin you I don't know man because like

I mean look I absolutely understand where you're coming from but also I reckon a lynx would fuck me up that would probably

hiss wouldn't it absolutely yeah yeah over my tears I'd hate to get battered by one of them cat animals

they'd fucking lynch you because it wouldn't just which specific cat or just any cat animal

it would be so fast like a tiger lion any cat animal? It would be so fast. Like a tiger lion, any of them ones. It would be so fast and strong. You'd just feel like food. Have you seen that great video of the old tourist? I don't even know if he's American. I just want to say he's American because he's an idiot in the video, obviously.

The rest of the world goes, well, it's got to be a yank. But it very could easily be a British person that gets out the van and the lion safari and the lion just drags him away like a fucking rag doll just that right

he survived but legend survived legend no I don't think anyone looks even to survive a lion attack is just something the lion gave up or somebody shot it I am a fucking idiot how the fuck did I get myself in that position I take it I take I did I did go I mean I feel like I've talked about this fairly recently but I went rogue on safari once I wanted to see the baby elephant that we couldn't see

through the trees so when we stopped I went for a little wander oh that was done that was dumb hi and like there would be no sympathy if anything happened then do you think that women out there at the same percentage that men do I think if you I think it was just men, would you like to be bitten by a shark if you were guaranteed to survive it? I think over half of men would say absolutely 100% yes. Yeah, absolutely. I don't think it's anywhere close to 50% of women. None of them?

None of them? Zero percent? Really close to zero percent of women would like to be bitten by a shark. They don't even want the scar. I think like you know there'll be some outliers out there

but just transition already do you reckon the reason women don't want it is because obviously for men not only is it a scar it's the story do you think the reason

women don't want it is because they're like men don't listen to our stories like even if I was bitten by a shark never let us finish just finish my story anyway oh she's nagging him on

about that shark attack again. Jesus. Oh, my God. Have you seen the clip with the professional golfer? The female golfer? Who's practising her swing and a man comes and starts correcting her. Oh, no.

Have you not seen it? No. She's on a driving range and she just fucking hits this ball clean as anything and then this guy comes up and says, oh, look what you want to do. Just starts giving her advice on her swing. What's what a lovely friendly man and she's so polite she's so fucking polite with this guy she's like oh i'm like i'm transitioning from one swing

to another like i'm busy like going for a different swing she tried to explain like a minimal and then he was like i've been doing this for 20 years and then he like stepped back she took a swing just the same she did last time hit it fucking clean as a whistle right down the middle from fucking miles and then he was like there you go see it's the most cringeworthy awful fucking

bit of it just makes you feel so fucking ashamed why? because that's what I do. Do you do that all the time to me, wife? I don't. I do not. But fuck, man, you know, like,

there might be points where you do shit like that, but that's just, you're not even switched on to it, like you're doing it. I mean, I definitely explain lots of things to Cara but that's because she's an idiot she's from the north it's dumb splaining

yeah yeah but you have to but still now because dumb which is just you're the dumb one it's mansplaining you're the man when you're splaining you don't mansplain

mansplaining to me you fucking pig I just watched that Norm Macdonald reel where he's like the

the doctor said you'll lose weight when I went into this surgery he told me to open my mouth and say oink Norm I fucking keep I keep showing Natalie

clips of Norm Macdonald and she's just unmoved by them oh man I was I was like that for several years I'm genuinely gutted I even suggested watching his special and she was like ah nah I'm not into him and I was like what

I definitely had that for like in my twenties I didn't like Norm Macdonald I didn't fucking get it and then late twenties I think it was the Germany clip 20s I didn't like Norm Macdonald I didn't fucking get it and then late 20s I don't know what it was I think it was the

the Germany clip Germany clip was excellent and then it was also the Thatcher the the

The Thatcher clip is one of my faves wait in fact I'm going on a hunger strike

until Margaret Thatcher dies she's already dead then she's got Stokes shoveling chicken into his face did you ever meet Norm nah never see him live nah nah that's good and then he cuts to him just shoveling chicken into his face. Oh.

Did he ever meet Norm? Nah. Never see him live? Nah. Nah, that's good, isn't it? Aye. He definitely went well before his time. Mm-hmm.

We were talking the other day about who's been on the stages that we've played. Mm-hmm. And who was it that had played the gig in Toronto?

Prince. I didn't even know the time but Gordon my term I chose like I like Iggy's didn't Toronto Prince has played there I have like I'm aware of Prince but I've never like deep dive and listen to lots of Prince I'm aware of some of his songs obviously and who who other like people there you would be a little bit starstruck if you found out they were sat on the same couch backstage that you were sat on and walking the same walk

to the to the wings to be called in like so you're walking on the same footsteps um the Manchester Apollo the one that was the first one of those two other Beatles have played

yeah um and obviously the Beacon Theatre had loads that had like the Rolling Stones and Elton John and like a bunch of but erm DMX was the one when we were in St Louis I think it was and there was a DMX

poster and I was like oh holy fuck ill, ill I don't get too much of that like I like being at historic venues but I mean this is going to sound such a cunny thing to say but for every like fucking

you know Beatles and Rolling Stone there's also just us like and there's like the local orchestra that go to play there

yeah we're the ones that find it cool yeah they don't we're watering down there like you see by being there they don't give a fuck

I mean they're mostly dead the Eminem would be a good one I've never seen any Eminem posters backstage might be in there they don't give a fuck I mean they're mostly dead the Eminem would be a good one I've never seen any Eminem posters backstage and I'm sure I've any

oh I've played when I was in Detroit I played so that's I was thinking I've never done Detroit with you you did that

pre-tour yeah we're going back to Detroit I'd like to know if that venue and also I'd like to know because

I reckon you could probably get like a list of places where Tup also, I'd like to know, I reckon you could probably get a list of places where Tupac's played because he died so young. Even if he toured every year since he was 19, that's six years of touring. That's not an insurmountable amount of venues. And we could probably find out if he performed

on the same stage as Tupac. That would be fucking amazing. Because these guys didn't always play arenas. There was that pocket of time where they weren't playing arenas all right but that's the easiest way to actually achieve it is to play arenas just because you go like if you do the hollywood bowl then you just get like 50 of the greatest of all time um i do i do enjoy it like a little like i feel like i've you know performed there with them but a lot of the time

the venue itself also has to have history because it's like for me, Sum 41 or fucking Lincoln Park or any of the bands I loved when I was growing up and stuff if those were the venues they played on their way up or at their peak

I absolutely find that impressive and I'm like, oh cool, that's a fun part of our career to be in. But if it's like, oh, they were playing here seven years later after the fact, then... Who are on their way down? Yeah, yeah. If they played on their way down, it's like, oh, wait, am I also playing this on my way down?

It was when we first did the Birmingham O2. That was where I first went to a gig. We drove down in Minas and Megra to watch Papa Roach. And I remember them being on this balcony looking out over the audience. And I got to be where, what's he called? Jacoby Maddox? Is that the lead singer of Papa Roach? Oh, no idea.

Okay. Where he was stood looking at the audience. And before the gig, I just went and had at the audience and I was like before the gig I just went and had a look and I was like oh fuck it this is pretty cool I guess

I would be venues that comedians have played would mean like the Beacon was like a big one for me just because I know

so many comedians that have played the Beacon like American comics and that but then again though like the thing with comedy is like

even when we play Leicester Square Theatre there you've played the same stage as Bill though like the thing with comedy is like even when we played Lester Square Theatre there you've played the same stage as Bill Baird you know like ah yeah yeah comedy's so rugged that in the smaller venues

you're getting collectibles yeah yeah but that's not the but that's not the one I'm excited that's not the Bill Baird venue that you're excited about like the Wilbur

Wilbur is the Bill Baird one you're excited about or if we ever get to you know fucking decades down the line do em Red Rocks would be good but that's but if we ever get to you know fucking decades down the line do Red Rocks would be good but that's

I think Red Rocks capacity is in the thousands the way too high Do you think people that are Do you think people that aren't into stand up but like is impressed by the venues or do you think it's just like

not even on the mind of people you know like I sometimes wonder if like when I tell my mum and dad that like I played the Palladium

I played the Bataclan or Sydney Opera House anything like that I'm wondering like how much it registers with people Sydney Opera House has got to be a big one

for everyone since that's in everything that's ever featured anything Australian they go by the way that's the fact that it's like iconic

as not the space but the actual architecture is iconic. In terms of iconic buildings in the world surely the Sydney Opera House is in most people's top ten. I think to put it there. I don't think the Palladium would be.

Madison Square Gardens would be the fucking I mean if ever Would that be the fucking I mean Would that be Would that be Would that be the top Like would that be the top venue To play like

You know As far as like Venues you've played Would MSG be the top venue If you did it Yeah Yeah I mean it'd have to be that You know

Oh I mean Radio City in New York Would be a fucking huge one That's That's pretty big Where else is on I mean I don't really have many MSG Is definitely

Radio City Red Rocks Hollywood Bowl would be cool There's probably a bunch That would not even On my radar Because of like South America and shit

Do you reckon We'll get to South America I mean it depends On the next four years Go in terms of I mean it depends Which part of it I'd like to go to

Brazil and Argentina And there's definitely Argentina's Definitely got Marked Because In the same way Before we did India

And you were getting like Pestered by people About India There was like A few people Pestered me about Argentina I don't know I mean

I'm desperate To fucking do it but it's with the promoters and the I find the right people do you have any goals left in this industry? have you achieved everything you've wanted to achieve? I mean I've done

I've done way better than I ever thought I would is it like maintenance at this stage? yeah I mean absolutely but the dream for years the dream for years has been maintenance and god let's just keep this and see where it's going and then we can you know

continue to surpass that in terms of things I'd still like to do the venues I've just said would absolutely like to do that tour bus is happening that's that's always been one for me okay we'll keep it quiet but private jet private jet yeah yeah but we'll never tell anyone we'll never tell anyone we do it we'll keep it off instagram just for period thanks for the three quid we'll put it yeah yeah yeah private jet thanks guys um arenas

I mean now like there'd be some places that I would want to do just as a like you know if we could do an arena through Europe that would be something that I'd never fucking

considered even as an option before but would be good too you know when you played Wembley where did that go on your list of like venues well

I mean it had a very special place in my heart because of what it was but like that wasn't that was Well, I mean, it had a very special place in my heart because of what it was. But like that wasn't, that was, you know, that was a bridesmaid. I was a bridesmaid there.

That was me hosting someone else's thing. And again, to be part of it. Well, that's how I get out of my collectibles as people. That's a fucking bridesmaid. You think I've achieved all these venues on my own ticket? Like shade. You just keep leaving the door open you pop in make me sell it home

he'd have the writer only half who you couldn't I wonder how many people would get a positive syndrome in my shoes mugs absolute mugs I mean it was good

because I didn't think I would enjoy arenas at all because you lose the intimacy and I didn't really enjoy that big MSec one in Melbourne that was a bit but then again I did enjoy the bigger one in Brisbane oh that was class yeah I like that

and that was about 4,000 I think so I mean in terms of things I've yet to and that was about fucking four thousand I think three and a half so I mean in terms of things I've yet to do that would be that would be good are you going to take the box

take a gig underwater I don't want any of those ones like when the guys did the one the highest altitude gig yeah of the of the

foothills of Everest yeah no I'll take I'll take the actual badges I'll cover the actual badges I'll cover the actual you know career achievements you know when people have got Guinness World Records and then somebody's got like for tying the most shoelaces

together you're like alright sure we're in the same book for different stuff I still do like the fact that I'm the first English comedian that's performed in several territories English speaking

because I've stolen in front of you I'd like to do South Africa I'd like to do South America I would like to do Ukraine I would like to do Ukraine I would like to do I mean I'd love to do a movie like even just like a fucking

shitty background or like a TV show for a bit just as a but no I'd love it not to have anything to do with me I'd love oh man to just somebody else do all the fucking work just like when ed sheeran's just fucking singing a random song in the middle of fucking game of thrones yeah that that's that's the that's the dream that's the dream you just want to walk

on set as a stormtrooper um oh no would you be happy with that like i would be i would be ecstatic with that but i would also take like a like a longer part in any TV show you'd also have to like pretend to be more into Star Wars than what you are your dad would enjoy that more than you yeah yeah

I Star Wars is fine that's what I mean but just that every kid don't get that it's a lot of waste have you not seen fucking Dakota Fanning

Dakota Johnson I can't remember the whatever the name of the the lady who plays Madame Webb in Madame Webb which is Dakota Fanning was the Johnson I can't remember the name of the lady who plays Madam Web in Madam Web Dakota Fanning was the child actor I'm thinking of the other one she does not

she's an adult now who might still be could be her no I feel like Fanning's got the more circular face, I feel like there's more Fanning's this is Dakota Johnson what's she done

she was in Madame Web and she doesn't know anything about the Marvel Universe like could not give a shit great

they asked her to like like Michael O'Macave on the fucking Man City Turbos absolutely 100% so so far

so far over her head Formula 1 paddock yeah fucking having to look at pictures of Lewis Hamilton before he walks

past him just to make sure he gets the right guy yeah absolute waste one paddock yeah fucking having to look at pictures of Lewis Hamilton before he walks past him just to make sure he gets the right guy yeah absolute waste so she's she's in Spider-Man

and not oh she's I will no no she's in Mountain Way but she's like like they've done

the Marvel and she held apparently well it's apparently feels a little bit patronising all this you know

and you're like oh she held good Mountain Way there's a little bit patronising all this you know you're like oh She-Hulk and Modern Web there's your little bit of bit of the world we'll just put it away in this little corner

on Disney Plus well it's I just I mean don't worry it just is very and to be fair I've not watched the Marvels

or Modern Web yet but that is because everyone in my life was like they're piping hot shit they're just not good

it does just feel like they're doing it for the sake of doing it as opposed to, like, they're pushing an agenda where it's just like even fucking liberal people are like, yeah, man, like, we all get this message, like, you're not, this isn't great. Marvel for me are doing what the UFC did and just giving us too much of it and not on a high standard.

Where, like, I used to love waiting for fucking, for the UFC, you'd wait like six weeks for a belt or card Yeah And they're like Here's a couple of cards Put a weekend Yeah

And you're like I'm not watching all of them And you end up watching none of them Aye And then Marvel's got that Now with me Where I'm like I used to fucking hang on

For the movie And then now I'm getting Series after series It was two things a year Uh huh Two things a year Year three if you were lucky In the cliffhanger

I meant something Aye That being said if you want to hire me to play any fucking superhero I'll do it I'll be in a shit Marvel movie

mm-hmm that'd be be a good dream proper flop mm-hmm one of the worst you know how um

Simon Pegg like lives all of his nerd dreams by like appearing in everything yeah I didn't I'm not confronting Tom Cruise on anything. Just being like,

just a man who's just so comfortable just being one of Tom Cruise's closest friends and be like, I'm just not going to have any opinions around you. I'm not going to challenge any of your thoughts whenever you start spouting absolute mental shit. He was in Band of Brothers. Tommy Big.

Uh-huh. No, he was. I watched episode one of that and like it's mad because you even said like oh when you watch Band of Brothers you recognise everyone

but you said like Fassbender and Tom Hardy who we wouldn't have known who they were at the time but then when they're in it you'll see them and go oh fucking hell

I didn't realise how many like Stephen Graham's in it I said everyone's in it everyone is in it and I even Went and just Looked up the entire cast

And went through Just even the people That have one episode To see who was in And there's a comedian Who I don't know If I've I don't know if I've

Worked with her I don't think I have But we've been on the same bill Like where She opened and I arrived After she'd left But Maureen Younger Is in Band of Brothers

Is she Who does she play It's said that I think German German civilian. Oh, a traitor. Wouldn't catch me doing it. I'll act, but only ever for the goodies. I didn't want to be seen as a talent.

You know what I mean? You just end up like, fucking, what's his, Kevin Spacey, who's just amazing at everything that he does. And when you watch him back, you go, oh, so that so that's just him then yeah he's not even acting there yeah look man some of the fucking some of the leonardo leonardo dicaprio n words in jango and jane came from the heart like some of them wasn't wasn't acting it wasn't a mask slipping oh are you filming i didn't know you were filming there I was just chatting to my mate

I was on the phone such a funny guy just shout shout in the end I didn't realise you'd been filmed sorry mate what was that oh wait we're rolling it's one of my favourite

Matt Kirshen jokes is the you know when you're singing a song and there's white people in the room and

the end words about to come up it's like do they say it do they not I never do but I was at my friend's house

and we were all singing a song and it was coming up and my friend said it hard art and everything which was, you know, awful, just the worst. Completely ruined the birthday surprise. Happy birthday, dear.

happy birthday dear the what was i gonna tell you there the you know putting tracks on reels yes i'm now like i went to put on a thing of like how to crop and paste from an iphone or into a reel because i've done a couple and then like a few people asked us about how to date and instead from an iPhoto into a reel because I'd done a couple and then a few people asked us about how to do it and instead of us replying to them each one by one, I thought I'll just fucking put up a little tutorial of how to do it. But because it was such a lame video, I wanted to put a contrasting

track of it. So I went to Wu-Tang and put Shame on it. I'm not going to say it but you know the lyrics. No, don't. Right. Matthew, edit around this. Shame on it. I'm not going to say it. But you know the lyrics. No, I don't. Right. Matthew, edit around this. Shame on her. Don't do it.

Elliot Steele. We're trying to run game on Elliot Steele. I saved you the edit. Don't do it, even if it's just me and you in the room, Kai. Santa will know. Santa hears you say the M word he knows

I get loads of presents turns out he's deeply racist aye I'm one of these boys em well he's playing Xbox for the rest

of the year that's of course I just eh I just watched the clip back with that track and I was like it's still coming

from me I'm not saying it like ODB or Method Manor whoever does the chorus I should know this it's still coming from me. I'm not saying it. ODB or Method Manor, whoever does the chorus, I should know this. It's saying it. But it's still coming from me, isn't it? It didn't feel right. No, you can...

So I put a DMX one in where it just kind of slips it in. It's less proper. It kind of glides over it rather than making it there. No, that's cancel culture going too far. You can post rap songs with hard art, isn't it? You can't post non-rap songs with hard art.

Old country songs. That's not, any pop songs, not on. It did feel a little bit like that clip, the Waiters Kids, you know, is it them? They've got a a tell me the club they've got a black guy with them and he's like trash talking he's made it more guy uses the

n-word forum it's no way it's good you know that I can't remember the name of the sketch group but it's not what it's kids you know he's using the guy to say from it did feel a bit like that mm-hmm I pussy root Walk Walk is a joke Scared I was chatting to Sid last night And I come up with something That I'd like to not be too scared to do on stage But it comes a little something like this Right

The reason I don't use the word faggot Is because I found out what it meant Right The way I don't use it for a reason it meant right right now the way i don't use a flagrant i'm using it to explain why i don't use it i'm not using it as a word to call me friends or whatever right it's because i used to listen to rap music i used to use it with flagrant disregard and then i found out what it meant it meant like a bundle of sticks that you put on a

fire and people who said it thought that gay people should be put on a fire and historically gay people have been put on fires for being gay so fuck I am not now that I know that word Carl is woke Carl is enlightened

I know what the word means now I'll step away from the word and I've always up until just the other day used the word Eskimo for Inuit even though people say you can't say Eskimo anymore

I'm like woke I found out that Eskimo directly translates from the neighbouring tribe Even though people say You can't say Eskimo anymore I'm like Woke I found out that Eskimo Directly translates From that neighbouring Tribe From back in the day It just doesn't cook the fish Right

So now I don't call them Eskimo I call Japanese people Eskimo I'm still going I mean where the Eskimos live It's pretty nippy So I call them nips Racism the other way around uh huh

factually accurate the correct way that's why I call pedophiles faggots because they should be put on the fire not funny enough oh I mean

that's funny enough nah I'm not saying anything bad no but you should not say anything bad No but You're not saying anything good Like you know I'm just saying that we've got these bad words That we use for people but they're used on the wrong people

I mean feel free to Explore it on stage I don't know if it suits us Like that would be good in the hands Of Previous Louis CK. Where people trusted him. Yeah.

And he like, obviously not the way I wrote it and worded it. Like obviously like in his hands. The concept. With his skill. Cause like, let's not deny he's got skill. Um,

I think that would be good in the right hands. I don't think my another right hands. I don't think I can do that With cheeky playfulness Is that what you see Your comedy as Well that's how I get away with stuff

That's definitely how I don't get away With stuff by leaning in from it I get away from stuff By kind of leaning Away from it I over explain everything Aye

Back yourself From everything From everything What if I explain it Then you're not allowed To be offended And for some people reason people are like

oh fair enough I guess so I feel like if somebody explains something to you first this is why I'm going to punch you in the face

that makes sense now you mention it I am a wanker maybe I do deserve to be punched in the face than to punch you in the face that's what I do

with my comedy yeah you already did say you were going to do it yeah yeah well you didn't hurt that much, though, did it? I know it hurt.

I know it hurt. You can't be mad at us when I said I was going to punch you. Oh, yeah. Give me a chance to get out of the way. Are you mad that I kept my promise? Right, so you're gaslighting me. You're making me feel bad.

Even though it was really difficult for me to get out of the way because I'd have to, like, make a scene and leave. Absolutely, yeah. If you're in the middle aisle. Yeah. Also, I've lured you in with trust. I've lured you in. You know, I'll only have... And I've paid to stand here where you if you're in the middle aisle yeah also i've learned i've learned

you in with trust i've told you in the you know i'll only have and i've paid to stand here where you said you're gonna punch yeah yeah yeah yeah but still it's my fault somehow because you used a lot of words confidently yeah almost like you're a man hey that's not it yeah yeah yeah yeah hey Hey that's not Hey hey hey Hey hey hey Hey I mean I do just All my comedy

It's just fucking excellent It's just fucking Ikea comedy Just Yeah there's all the parts Yeah this goes together Uh huh Oh right okay well

To stop it being Fucking basic What am I going to do with that then Look at it It is good what you do though Where you're like fucking And then my sister died And then she got raped

You're like slapping a fucking lump of clay Onto the wheel again I mean she didn't get raped Those are two different Two different shows Two different shows Yeah I mean I couldn't put the hyphen in

Yeah Hyphen Probably not a hyphen Slash Like a slash Aye Yeah You do like slap a bit of clay down on the wheel You go I couldn't put the hyphen in. Yeah. Hyphen. Probably not a hyphen. Slash. Like a slash. Aye. Yeah.

You do like slap a bit of clear down on the wheel. You go, see what we can make of this. Aye. See what we can make of this. And then you do make something good of it. Now you're unexpected. I know,

but I think that's also, I mean, that's, that's the fucking, that's the, the thing though, is it's easier from that. Like it's easier to, like if you make somebody feel like shit,

you only need to make them feel like this good and that's because you've reduced their feelings to this like if you want someone to be happy and they're in a good mood you've got to get them from here to here whereas if you've made them really really sad you only have to get them up here like it's

yeah so you're just lowering the bar super low and then you just get them just above it's Yeah so you're just Lowering the bar It's super low And then you just Get them just above it And they go Oh thank fuck People are so Desperate

For If you take laughter Away from them They're so desperate For it Because they don't Know what else to do Especially in a

Fucking comedy show That's what they're there for So if you just make them Dead awkward and uncomfortable They'll fucking laugh At anything Resembling a joke Because they're Desper desperate, starving little sluts.

Unless you're in Melbourne. Unless you're in Melbourne. And they're full. And they're desperate for you to fail. I think that's cruel. A lot of the Melbourne crowd are great. The ones that would draw in ourselves, but the street pickup.

It's just, you know, it's the clitoris of the world it's it's just a bit and that's fine you know they're they're they're nice people they're i could beat them all up i was super sensitive because in the same way that austin's kind of like um overcompensating for the rest of te. Or, yeah, well, I think... Where they're just like, there's just this nucleus of the goodies, the perceived goodies. And like, we're not like them. We're not using racist language. We're not... Well, I think it's very much just like,

oh, this is where our people go because it's where we're allowed to thrive. I think there is a bit of that. Like, queers from around Australia will move to Melbourne because it's their mecca and then they'll scissor

each other and stuff do whatever which I don't find Brighton sensitive no that's a good point I think London is more sensitive than Brighton

absolutely and that that is probably a lot to do with like the people who are sensitive aren't the people you're

talking about the people getting offended on their behalf well Sydney's gay as fuck and Sydney's not usually offended to do they're like they're people who are sensitive on the people you're talking about the people getting offended on their behalf well Sydney's gay as fucking Sydney's not usually offended

San Francisco Sydney's oh San Fran is a bit they're not as much as Melbourne but they are a bit you think so

yeah a little bit aye you can upset people in San Fran and you can upset people in LA and you can upset people in LA you can

upset people everywhere in America you've just got to burn the right flag. That's why Scotland's class Huh? That's why Scotland's class. Oh we get Oh like civic pride you can upset your sensibilities in that way but you're not going to get pearl clutching over dark humour

Oh no god Like the birthplace of it really Man it's always so jarring to me Because it does exist When I meet Scottish people who don't like swearing And you're like fucking which part Of this country Did you come

There's no part where I mean don't get me wrong But those people are from a different generation And they don't like Swearing in front of women Yeah Yeah I mean there's

It's not for the house Yeah I just Everyone Because I sit so much time On fucking Scottish Scottish Instagram reels and stuff There'll just be like a kid swearing

Anyway A kid between these Is of fucking five and 12 and the parents just catch the moment that the kid, the kid's not swearing like I swear, which is all the time. The kid lets out a fucking swear and it slips out and everyone in the common room, they'll be fucking mortified.

They'll be like, man, I'd be absolutely fucking mortified to go out in public. If somebody said something fuck shit bastard wank and I went oh

I don't think I'd ever leave the house again I'd be so embarrassed imagine imagine feeling hurt by swear words oh oh like I

I've heard it fucking hilarious when there's like a five year old kid on someone's shoulder singing I hate fucking Sunderland on the like tune fan page. And obviously that's going to upset a lot of people. Yeah.

That's a child. I mean, a child's sway in a song, but you're like, Oh, you're the one giving it power by doing this. You're giving that word power. This is like,

I was going to say, it's not coming from a place of hatred, but he said, I hate fucking Sunderland. So it kind of is. I mean, I mean, it definitely is.

Kind of. I hate. definitely is Kind of I hate It's kinda coming from Fucking Sunderland Yeah it's fine Well you know what With their football I always think that football Is like

Controlled tribalism It's fucking bullshit I think it's controlled dude I think it's bullshit When it overflows And people start punching each other and fighting and fucking

but like I think like having this like outlet where you can just go into your neighbours and fucking hit on them and then go back

and yeah that felt good but no one got hurt it all just happened on the pitch like the fact that there was no shade happened after the

Newcastle Sunderland game was fucking brilliant and I think everyone on both sides will agree that that's class that it went without a hitch and everyone will compliment

the councils and the police on both sides for doing a good job of it and all that but you still want to fucking shout on at them you still want to just fucking yell at them

and call them cunts and vice versa it's cathartic I think that controlled tribalism just gets through your system you've got to do it in sports so you don't do it in politics. Doesn't work that way.

Fuck the Tories now. Well, obviously fuck the Tories. Obviously. We're in Cambridge, speaking of fucking Tories. That's where they do that punting thing. Like rowboats with a stick doing the streak.

Cambridge is is the bit of England where I'm just like I'm not meant to be here yeah I don't relate to this place much yeah

I feel like a foreign body that's been rejected by the like I don't feel that I don't feel rejection from the people I just do feel like a sense of alien-ness and I mean it's nice yeah like like I don't feel that I don't feel rejection From the people I just do feel like A sense of alien-ness And I mean it's nice yeah Like

I Like I don't I would not fear Being mugged in this place Nah I mean I would I would

But we live separate lives Em Yeah Like it's It's very Like nice posh Yeah Polite posh

Yeah Yeah Like I think the reason Cambridge United Don't do well in football Like nice posh Yeah Polite posh Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Like I think the reason Cambridge United Don't do well in football Is because Shake hands after every Fucking whistle

Aye these posh twats Can't fucking roll a team up Go on Let's go to goal Come on Turtle pit referee It's nice and it's safe. And because of that, it's...

But not like fun safe, like brightness. Safe like clinical safe. Aye. Yeah, like everyone's sticking to the speed limit, waiting for the green man Across the road I'm just I'm just absolutely

Blank Like What do you call it Stereotyping them now Yeah But I just assume that like Even if there was no police This place would be

A law abiding state Yeah absolutely Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Like they only have They'd only have to send around The tax collector Once a month And somebody would have

Nominated themselves To go to him With This is The city's entire Things They'd only have to send round the tax collector once a month and somebody would have nominated themselves to go to him with the city's entire things. Here's all the forms. We've signed it. Thank you so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They stick to the green cross code on Grand Theft Auto. It's Adelaide.

It's the Adelaide of... Oh, no, but Adelaide is a bit scuzzy. Yeah, it is. You'll not see a bogan here. Yeah, you'll not see nades. Yeah. You'll not, you'll not see a Bogan here. Yeah. You'll not see Neds. No. I can't imagine how laughable the ones who identify as Neds are. Cause you do get places like that where like,

I think that were Morpeth, which is like just near Ashton. If you're living in Morpeth, you're doing all right. Anyone's trying to be a child from there. Like fucking, your real name is Clarence. Living home with both parents.

You have a real nice marriage. Like me mum and dad. Plastic, little plastic chavs. Well, I think you're all scum up there. I think. Nah,

you'd be in Monmouth. I mean, I believe you would. You're notworth. But you're not just like scum with money though. You can get a million pound house in Maltworth. Aye. What do they do?

Probably like real estate. Right, okay. I don't know but I'm like like i guess like developing properties and that i have knowing absolutely nothing is there any like it's a stage like a fucking real job like i don't know it plays money real estate but like oh when i say real estate i mean like developing properties oh okay that yes okay that is i but i mean like i mean real estate I mean like developing properties oh okay

that yes okay that is but I mean like I mean I don't mean the person at the desk when you walk in understood but I reckon

there'll be money in that fucking there's so much money in houses and if like they're fleecing people like they're just lying to them when they come in because they're like

oh well I'll get me I'll get me cut if I get this across the lane but I mean because they're definitely real estate agents are fucking despised in Australia because Australia I'll get me I'll get me cut If I get this across the lane But I mean Because they're definitely Real estate agents Are fucking despised

In Australia Because Australia's House prices are fucked They're not really hated here I don't think Like they don't seem to be Shat on from the Heights that

Another country is But I don't think They're especially a dod No But like Would you say they're especially a dod. No. But, like, would you say they were above or below parking attendant? Which is below? Like, Scorsese? Yeah.

Yeah, below, right. I just found it above in the rankings of who you hate. Oh, right. Yeah, I think parking attendant's trying to make ends meet. I don't reckon They're like Fucking chasing That fucking

Big payday They're just They're just doing A shite job That nobody wants to do But it's available I think if you If you

Parking attendant And you love it And you're not Fucking looking for All that work Like That Like

Fuck you Are you Are you Are you below real estate Because I think real estate? Because I think real estate There's a fucking price on it I can make some money off this I can make some cash off this

And you can be a career man What's the top five scumbag jobs? You nailed it one time You got it dead on Florist Scum Profit from death It's over the moon when people die

Oh my do you hear about that Three kids dead Can you imagine Off and up on after Sunday Off and up the kids are dead Absolutely disgraceful Florist Fucking hell, open up on after Sunday. Open up the kids' dean. Get them flowing, mate. Aye. Absolutely disgraceful forests.

But that is a loophole one. That is a Die Hard to Christmas movie answer. The scummiest jobs. It's hard not to see a copper. It's hard not to see a copper. Mine would always be you're in a gang border control you're in a fucking gang

you're protected border control yeah I'm just like man nobody tells you to have the sourest

fucking face be down and just nobody's telling you to treat everyone like a fucking criminal and if they are they're also bad

at their job You're the first thing people experience When they come into the greatest country on the planet As a job The goal of it is You should be proud of that That you're keeping the country safe But yeah fucking methodology is just

Fuck off 99.999 Keep going 999% Of humans Like subhuman pieces of shit. On the off chance that you stop that, 0.0001 piece of shit. Like don't treat, like don't treat what I like terrorists. Like fuck off. Fuck the fuck off.

So yeah, like I think that job, such a necessary job, but the thing it's become is fucking scum mmm see also cop yeah yeah and parking parking attendant like they they didn't you know you're right about that but I don't think that pays well enough to look at it as a... Oh, I'll go on. The TV license people. Oh, what are you doing? The absolute fucking race traitors.

Do you know what our friend Matty used to do? No. Right, there was this thing. I don't know if it still happens anymore, right? But you want to buy a TV, right? But you haven't got the money to buy the TV outright. But you buy it on tick. And the way you pay the tick is you put the box on the telly, it's clamped onto the telly,

and it's got a power cut-off, and you need to be putting regular change in the telly to keep your telly on. Right, okay, yeah, yeah. And Matt used to have to go out into the houses. This is when he was like, I'm talking like 19, 20 years old, and he would pull up when he was like, I'm talking like 19, 20 years old and he would pull up when he's sitting in Picasso.

Aye. And had to garner the house and he suited to collect the coins into these houses. And he got shit, he got so much shit. Aye, I fucking believe it. He got so much shit off people.

Aye. Coin collecting for somebody that's marked up a telly to a poor person. Yeah, scum. Scum job, that way. I don't think. Proper, scum. A scum job, that way. I don't think. Proper.

I think. But he did. Nowadays, people doing that job would be driving around with fucking badges on being like, it's nice to be kind. Like, we don't tolerate verbal abuse of videos for ourselves. Stop sending them around my fucking house then.

But that's just a young lad that's getting a job. You get a car with it as well. Oh, that was very funny the day when he come to pick us up because I like he drove running

the certain Zara Picasso that he got from work right so it was like every all the lads had like fancy cars at the time and he had this like

estate kind of thing and em I'm waiting for him to pull up to take us for a ski lesson at the dry slope when we were like 80, 90 years old and he fucking pulls up

in this car and I get in and I said, dude, it's me next door neighbour that's bought a new car. It's exactly the same as Matty's.

I just got into my neighbour's car and he was just like, yeah, okay. You're like, lovely this. Nice motor.

Get a job for them scumbags, did you? I'm trying to think else or anyone I mean for me anyone that does

a job that is it's just you're known charlatan and you do it despite that

like if you're a journalist for a tabloid oh the worst yeah you've got it bang on it bang on Les Dennis has just fucking revealed it as the top man's son journalist

well anyone that does on either side of the fucking political spectrum any journalist that contributes to the fucking like the culture the rags oh yeah absolutely just winding people up taking things out of context. Stalking people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, like the fucking, the paps, those ones, those are real pieces of shit. Driving people to suicide, hacking phones. Just like really, ah yes, absolute fucking rotten hell cunts. Yeah. That was, I know that you're not a big fan of Liverpool

and Jurgen Klopp, you and me both but i saw clips of the day where he just flattened out to speak with johnson journalist at a press conference respect and like even if he is doing that for points with these people at least he's read the people's thoughts you know like i'll look that way all right all right not a not a huge fan of the way you conduct yourself, but in that moment, get some points from me. Football referees across the board,

Sunday league, top to bottom. Rugby league, rugby referees are fucking great. I mean, I know tennis umpires can be annoying, but there's still this level. You look for Cullen for too long.

He's got an agenda against referees. Like, I know tennis umpires can be annoying, but there's still this level. You live with Cullen for too long. He's got an agenda against referees. Like, you know what? They love football and they're getting a fucking front row seat with the football. There's that. They love the drama. They love drama.

The rule, I've always said, the rule for fucking referees has to be, if we ask the general public what your name is by showing them a picture of you, if over a third of football fans know who you are, you're fired. But then that doesn't pay off for that. That's fans just going,

this guy's a cunt, he's got it in for us because it didn't go our way last time. I hate him. That team isn't the same because everyone is slightly biased and thinks their team should deserve a bit more. If a referee's doing a good job he's sitting in that pocket right in the middle and this

team thinks he's biased and this team thinks he's biased he's actually just doing an average job I think there's objectively bad referees bad decisions I think there's referees that absolutely do just make wrong ones like being like being seen like being on the fucking cameras

like having all these fucking like these people worshipped as gods having power over them I absolutely think it's a fucking I don't think they make it to the top though

we were in Sunday League game and we got a free kick right and Brucey picked the ball up from where it was like just fucking

rotated it around put it back doing just you know you're about to take a free kick you'll place the ball you don't just leave the ball where the ref put it you'll place it in the fucking space of a bin the ball where the ref put it, you'll place it

in the fucking space of a bin lid of where it is. And yeah, he got sent off for that. And we just couldn't believe it. We're just in the middle of the match going,

that's not a rule. And he like, he stuck by it and everything. Like, you're not just getting sent off, but the cunt's got a fine. You get fined for a red card

and suddenly you get the exact same fine you did get in the Premier League to the FA it's like whatever 40 quid or something like that I don't know what it is now but if you get a bigger fine

in the Premier League it's from the club but the one to the FA is an administration fee and you put that through there's fucking Bruce Yen sent off so like

I get it that like if he's coming as a Sunday League ref he's probably on a power trip but he's probably not going to make it to the top is he I think I think people who get not going to make it to the top is he I think

people who get power trips absolutely make it to the top I suppose so if you get a power trip man you're good aye yeah I find it hard because it's a job that somebody's got to do and I feel like they get so much shit that like how are you using the fucking my policeman defence

on referees I love football I just play in sport And I love the law And it's applied correctly Have I ever shouted at a referee Calum I'm a cunt? Yes Have I ever suggested

He needs glasses While I've got my glasses on? Yeah Nah Nah that would be hypocritical I'm anything but a hypocrite Shall we go and do our last gig of this? Oh, fuck it.

I say last little bit of the UK tour. We've got a couple of days off. And then we're going back. Newcastle, Nottingham and Brighton. And then we're off overseas until the end of May. Yep. Come see those shows. Fuck off.

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