Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Pee-Hole Surgery (Ft. Connor Burns)

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

After months of custody battle sharing Connor Burns, Muggins and Cream reconcile their differences to spend time with their boy together trying to figure out the logistics of keyhole surgery. Daniel wants to bring back the coward punch and Connor is assaulted by a woman. An episode bookended with a 9/11 joke a Dianna joke for you all to enjoy.

Sloss and Humphreys on the road! Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin, livin' the dream That's our intro Fuckin' Muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head to make you laugh Woohoo! Ha ha ha! They said it can't be done!

Are we in the same seats? That's hack! Ah, Muggles! Accidental rim job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or Magical Beat Cynical Muggled it up on fuckin' Mugglipedia Where have you been since 9-11?

Well yeah, the actual most upsetting guessing game of all time is when, after 9-11, when there's all those missing posters put up and you're like, first of all buddy, she's not missing, we know she is. Trying to match someone's watch to the rest of their body. That's the actual most upsetting game of all time. So we're jumping into that conversation because you're doing the most annoying guessing game of all time today. Most upsetting guessing game of all time. Most annoying.

Most upsetting. That's literally... Mug. That's the most upsetting. Uncle Donner. He really cares about it. It's kind of... Kai has been... He's doing some serious splitting hairs today. I called his cousin it. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of, Kai has been a...

He's doing some serious splitting hairs today. I called his cousin Sarah and said Sarah before. He bends over his knee and spanked me bum. That's... Kai is, has always been terrible for it. Being a 19 year old man, being like, so you've got the new Playbox 7000, don't you? That's a smart...

It's not the... My favourite game on the Steam Deck, Hercules. It's like you play Hades every day I consistently get everything slightly wrong. Yeah. Yeah, and then what you do is you spin it and then then you do it purposely Very very much at the time. You're like, oh, so it's a bet. You're like, it's a it's not bad We had a great one game jeans which was just the DJ and asking for the wrong songs by the wrong bands just been like you ever hit me baby one more time by Rihanna we used to do a thing I worked in a guitar shop and they had like you you know, when it

first came out on websites that the little pop-up would come up and say, oh speak to a real member of staff, like while you're browsing on the website. And I think people thought it was AI, but we actually just had like a bunch of fucking failed music students downstairs on computers answering your questions. There's actually people at the end of that. Ah, there's actual humans. Cause I usually just ask to speak to a human every time I get one of them bots

and the poor human at the other end. I do the same thing in Chinese restaurants. Well, you're going to have a great time in Melbourne. Yeah. Melbourne is slowly but surely becoming China. There's a little Melbourne. Yeah. I said on stage last night,

and the Melbourne crowd hated it, but I stand by this as a good joke. I said on stage last night and the Melbourne crowd hated it, but I stand by this as a good joke. I said that Melbourne is so diverse. I got in an Uber pool last night and I felt like I was opening the door at Jeffrey Dahmer's fridge. I upset people of Melbourne yesterday. I was like, do you think the reason

that this country invented the fucking coward punch, you know the coward punch? Yeah. Right, it's because Australians are as bad as Americans The reason that this country invented the fucking coward punching the coward right is because Australians are as bad as Americans for I'm the only person in the world if I need to stop It doesn't matter if it's in a doorway doesn't matter if it's at the top of an escalator We were at the aquarium right and it's just like deep sea worlds in the fucking Scotland's got that underground tunnel thing right and it was fucking dead when we got there and the second you get down to this bet There's a massive queue and I was like, this is

Somebody's fault and I was wrong. It was everyone's fault just and here's the like normally all these will have like Whenever something shit about their country, they'll blame on like the fucking immigrants every honky every last one of them Mmm, I just fucking white people talk blame it on like the fucking immigrants every honky every last one of them I just fucking white people talk and they got a lot looking at short just a creed concert then I was right when I was in London it was like the tenth time we can when he like stopped at the gate for the tube and then got out his wallet yeah he thought he'd done it he'd done it so many times that I was like this is you man yeah yeah you're fucking London up yeah I couldn't be with someone who uh who didn't have spatial awareness or like social the other one I realized

yesterday said this uh to carry here's a massive red flag for me uh somebody who enjoys madam two sods I can't think of in terms of like attractions I apart from like fucking slam poetry, a general poetry reading, I think there's nothing lower of like being, seeing a celebrity is exciting, right? I've been excited by fucking celebrities, but to spend money to go to something slightly better than a picture There's more pictures of them doing something Fucking cast the creating of its impressive. I think like today There's 3d printers at fucking isn't it's not it's not noticed that makes it mad them two swords

But they've got the real holes and you get left alone for nothing. Sorry boys, we're all out of math in the cans today. It's gone missing. Come back in and see me on top of a pile of melted wax. I'm stuck. You know what, Madame Tussauds is enjoyed by the same people that think Dubai is a holiday destination. Oh man. Easily pleased. He's just been on holiday there. My fuck, only to break up the travel

of getting to Australia with the kids. But it's just like, to me, like, people that are like, oh Dubai's amazing, it's like, but you could have built the thing that you like about it anyway. Yeah, fuck, you're not going outside. Dubai fucking sucks, man.

Like it's what I was getting so. I prefer Singapore for being the same thing with better. Yeah, but Singapore isn't horrifically fucking oppressive and there's no I don't know it's not fully Singapore's like a you know, they're like the the sort of cool Substitute teacher of dictatorships. Yeah, I know I'm not supposed to get on with this but fuck me it's a safe country. Yeah it's safe if you're fucking a white man. Same with Dubai. I am until you chew gum. Yeah. When you're getting arrested. When we were in Dubai I was like

where do I fucking breastfeed and I was like fucking whatever you like. 40 years ago. It's like, oh, it's such an amazing culture. Oppression is a culture. If you breastfeed in Cumberland, you get your titch up off in Dubai. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God she doesn't have cancer anymore. Yeah.

Good luck. Good titch. If you're an American, you need a double mastectomy and you can't afford it. Yeah, just go breastfeeding. Breastfeeding in Dubai. Take your dog. Have you got the audio of that?

Yeah. Have you? Absolutely. Have you heard it, Connor? Yeah, I've heard it. Have you heard it? Have the podcast listeners heard it? There's an agent in the UK that used to manage **** during a difficult time in his life.

She was on a podcast with Sophie Alice Baxter and started talking with breastfeeding a dog and then I think it's like probably one of the most passed around audios she just like wasn't a gun to her head. It's the bony blue of comedy clips. But also my favourite part of it is that the person that she chose to give that information to was Sophie Ellis-Beckster. Yeah, Sophie platformed it as well, she didn't even dispute it. She was like Joe Rogan with a grift hour on. I feel like it's one of those things that's not until half an hour after the podcast guest has left your house that you go, that was fucked up

The guest sort of said to me like delete stuff for stuff that's way way tamer than that Do you not find it? No, no, but if you go into Sophie Ellis Bexter's podcast She openly and freely admits that she got turned on while breastfeeding a dog She wasn't even lactating, she was just getting her tits sucked. Aye. Calla breastfeed now, there's nothing coming out. Aye.

Larry Dean, that's your fucking agent. Jimmy Carr now, isn't it? Jimmy Carr, I think. She must be a pretty good agent, then. Larry, Larry, I'm just off the hook. She is the epitome of a fucking nipple baby. Oh, it seems like... Chambers Dictionary.

Oh, you know what? I heard that but I didn't think I registered it. Is that the word on the street? Apparently she helped with the B section, bestiality was the bit that she filmed in. Imagine you're like, I was going to say where do you start writing a dictionary but probably A, but that would to me seems like the most tedious fucking job in the world. Imagine pre-dictionary being the first guy to sit down and go we should probably write all of these down. A for autism, which I thankfully have. I'm much more make the rest of this book a breeze. autism which I thankfully have. Well what was that word you said earlier again?

She'll put that in, badongadong. No that's not a word. It is, you said it. You said badongadong. Put it in the dictionary. The tension in the room when you get to N. Yeah, are we putting it in the slides? It is a word. Unfortunately it is a word. If we made it.

We put rape in there. Yeah but that's an act man. It's not something you get Family put rape in the dictionary. I Know I gotta be careful we see in front of all the little sticky lips in front of all the sneaky lips. Oh, man. So the last time I was in Australia, it was for another gateway and it was for a recent chirocter. It was literally after the, after Russell Brad documentary.

It was just before the fires. It was, it was before the, it was just having the Russell Brad documentary had come out and I was over here and I was like, oh fucking thank God I'm away from it. And then when I landed in Australia, Marlino was like, they've just ordered to ABC and it's going to be shown the night of the wedding. I'm like, oh for fuck's sake. And then we're over for this wedding and like the night before Jeans wedding, Russell Brand

gets charged with the rape and sexual assault. On wedding days. So you're stealing the thunder. Yeah Wearing weight because you're a weight made so if when you get married, I think that's when they're gonna hang him So fucking hurry up man It'd be so funny if they just finished what they started and just drowned them in the Thames. Yeah girls as well Oh man, what a despicable camp bear girls. Oh them in the Thames. Oh man what a despicable cunt Bear Grylls. What's Bear Grylls done? Nobody will forgive a groomer or a rapist faster than anyone in the Catholic Church. You could have a bunch of gay people being like I'm sorry about this life that God made me live, it's not a fucking choice. I'm like no it's not enough repenting. But you're like I literally

groomed and raped people. They're like yeah, man, that's in the Bible Like we fucking love that shit the Russell Brands switch to the fucking right was beyond tactical You got the longest run up as well. Yeah. Yeah, cuz he knew the sharks were sort of sad do you know what's sad about the like the hard shift to the right is Like who you're stuck hanging out with the rest of your life. Oh joy, Andrew Lawrence. Yeah, you just keep doing the same like fucking like talks with the same because there's only 10 people that do it. Who's on this one? It's Katie Hopkins and the fucking banjo player

from Mumford and Sons. Yeah, yeah. Or who's that fucking rotten fucking cunt, the black priest with the massive hair in the UK? Jesse Jackson? No, he's a good G. I don't think he had to put that much sauce on black. It was hot sauce. Yeah Calvin some next candidate the Oh Yeah, he did the seagull as well after the Elon Musk did Because unsurprisingly, he knows so little about fucking history. He's like, yeah, I love the Nazis You're like cool man. Go back in time. See what they think of you. They love me. They give me this big fucking star They love me, they gave me this big fucking star, I must be one of their favourites. Stupid cunt. It's fucking, yeah, it's just a...

There was one, man, I wish you'd been in Sydney with us yesterday because you would have gotten into a fight so fucking quickly. Oh, what did someone do? Australian guy wearing a Make America Greater, again that, stood on just a box with a sign that said fight. Man, what was he wearing? Like knocking the fuck out straight away. He just stood there wanting to fight? No, no, no. I think it was a bit like, well, we've got to fight against the fucking oppression.

I thought he was like, anyone scrap? No, no, that's what you would have gotten away with. If you chinned him. I would simply follow my instructions. Yeah. Like you've seen that. I would simply follow my instructions. Like you've seen that tweet that someone put on Facebook or somewhere, they were like, scrap outside the school if anyone wants it. They were like, you're a fucking 40 year old man,

what are you doing? He's like, it's fucking scrap metal. There's a guy on like black TikTok at the minute. And I know people are gonna be like, why would you have to? Cause it's as a What a world unto itself black American tech talk is fucking sensational

It's one of those things that make you go like as comedians I can't believe we ever worry about a joke because there's people just put in the worst parts of their lives on tech talk and No repercussions. Yeah, and there's just there's a guy who his whole thing is, here is where I am now, someone come out and fight me. Craig. And people just do it. Like he's like, but it's like mental place. He's like, he's like, I've just landed an LAX terminal three,

meet me outside and I'll fight someone. And it happens. For someone who can't fight him. If I make money, I'll fight someone and it happens. For someone who can't fight him? If I make money, I'll make money. They just film them having a fight and the guy's like undefeated, he keeps with him. He keeps just knocking people out. Man, that's a Kimball slice became famous.

Ah yeah, back yard fighting. It's the fucking best, man. It's just that thing of like, when you go like, aw man, like, well I shouldn't put this podcast out that conversation was about that there's a guy meeting people outside the international airports and beating them up live on TikTok, we'll be fine. I reckon there was a time back then when I would have had a fad for the sport. Oh yeah. You know like if someone was just saying fancy scrap and like we've done nothing wrong to each other.

Like I haven't. No I think. There's a time when I quite liked it. I think entering a good-n natured scrap is actually better. Because you know the second one he uses one, the fight's over. Right, it's a hug and let's go for a pint of a drink. I think I'm at an age now where if I get hurt in a fight it might not heal. Your body stops repairing itself after a while. I'm still sore from snowboarding and I didn't even take that part of a tumble.

I've had a bad hip for about four months. No, I wouldn't. Keep my shirt on. You're over fucking nine years younger than me, and I like it. I've got like sciatica in my right hip. Oh, so I was, a friend of mine got a hip replacement and a lot of it was like keyhole surgery.

But for the longest time I'm going to talk until I was about 27 or 28 years old. I could have fucking sworn that keyhole surgery meant through the butthole. I had no idea. It was just like, it wasn't until one of my friends was like, yeah, my, my granddad just went in for heart open heart for heart surgery. In Japan, that's what they call laser eyes. and for heart surgery, keyhole. In Japan, that's what they call laser eyes, don't you? He was like, he's getting his heart done, keyhole surgery. I'm like, it's a fucking long way to get his heart.

Which, you laugh, but sometimes the guy didn't feel the groin when the guy did a heart fix. For the mate, he's real, there's already a fucking hole there. He's just going up the back. You're making me horrible. If I have any disease that requires you going through my dick hole I'm saying bye to my kids not dick hole not your dick hole your groin

just like the opening there like gets in the abdomen what do you mean the opening there? it's not an opening you kept a small fan next to it are you not going to groin hole? are you not going to groin hole next to your cock there? the one that goes all the way down to the back of your knee do I not have what either side? Sorry, I need to put my fingers up.

They come up with my nostrils. Now they go in through the ground for K.O. surgery. Sometimes. I'm just basing this on, yeah. I'm doing a bit of validation just now. No, they do, they do. I don't know where they go, but I've heard people going like, Oh, they have to go up through my groin. Yeah it does make sense actually because if you think the hip bones are just like fucking

there's big holes in them aren't they? Like if you see a skeleton. Yeah it's like see deep in there. So if you get through that flesh you're in the abdomen aren't you? Yeah. But this is just fucking flesh, what the fuck, just there. This feels like... Aye but that's like muscle as well isn't it? That's just literally just fucking... Alright, you explain every caesarean then.

Oh, you know, they're not gonna pull a baby out of your fucking groin, are they? No, but if you can fucking rub a baby out, you get a tiny wee fucking car out of there, whatever it is. If you're gonna pull a baby out of your groin, just don't have the caesarean, that's what you're doing anyway. Green room for fucking serial killers. No, erm... They do go through your groin. I don't know about that. I'm going to go through the armpit would be a short wouldn't it? Because there's no real muscle there, that's just flesh. That's just skin. Isn't that, there's big arteries there though isn't it? Oh is there? I think so. But there's not in the groin. I don't think any of us...

All the veins go to your knob. Yeah, they're busy. All veins lead to knob. Imagine if you lacerate a vein down there to the guitar, there's like three spares to get blood to the knob. This man's losing blood to his knob. I need two nurses in here stat. We're going to need seven millilitres of blood stat. Just bringing a littleilitres of blood start. Just bringing a little vial of blood. You know, remember that in...

Sold the al and vial. Vial? Vial. You had way more respect for that than you did the H at the end of Sarah earlier. Or in the non-H. The non-H. Vial is how I'd say it because I think vial sounds like... It's vial. And veil'd say it, because I think vial sounds like, uh.

That's vial. And veil. Vial. I think my accent means I have to say vial if I want you to know what I'm talking about. Oh, because you're always concerned about your voice. I know I'm vial. That's what I'm hearing in Australia.

All of my show work last night, I was pleased about that. You know when you go to Europe and you're just saying stuff, not like wondering if it's gonna land? Yeah. Like I've everything. Yeah, but Melbourne's also the Melbourne's like fucking comedy wise. It's like playing operation. Yeah, it's true. But I had a oh, yeah I got like a bit of fun now with the pullback of Melbourne

like I can't at them rather than rather than like Trying to do anything like that. Fuck you. You know, I thought I talked through like why you have to you have to hold Melbourne's hand through every single joke like yeah, I'm never like it took I know it's dark and I know it's scary But you trust me. I will get through this together Tranny on stage last night. Yeah, and I'd to... You've been having a bit of a van. Yeah. I was just doing sound check. The calum Trano is here anyway.

Yeah. By the way, I'd say that I had to build the context so much more than I would in any other city of like, they're disgusting. Which the thing is like... You can't just shuffle the deck. Everywhere else in the world, when you're using, talking about dark things, you're using fucking bad words and stuff, 99% of the time the audience will give you the benefit. They'll look for the intent. They'll go, oh yeah, okay, right, you said faggot there. But in the context of the joke,

he was sort of using it in the way that a bad person was using it, was to highlight that. And they'll give you the benefit of doubt. Melbourne, you've got to be like, okay, we'll sit down. The buzzword hurts. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say faggot.

And I don't mean it, I don't mean it. Look at my eyes, I really don't. Fingers crossed. I don't mean it enough to not say it. No. But. All right, And then you... In Melbourne they play that where they...

They play the... They play the... We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry. This is now a land. We're borrowing it but we're not going to move.

But they're like... Like I don't think Melbourne's the people that need to hear that. I think that's like, you've converted everybody. Like that's the choir. That's just so harmonious. Now play that like a couple hours out of town. Yeah. And it's so destructive to a fucking comedy show.

Like we have to really, every time we're here, we have to fight. Cause you can't do it without the addressing thanks to the ancestors or whatever it's called. And they're like, do that. And then just straight into your show. And we're like, no, we'll do it. And then it's fucking three more minutes of music.

Yeah. And. Exact argument last night. And I was like, that's a straight on after. As if the fucking aboriginal people, first of all, as if you've given them any fucking takes to the show. And they're also not allowed in anyway. Yeah.

Like, I'm like. I don't wanna be the one to say it. I don't wanna be the one to say say it but they're all at the casino. No but it's true though because like art isn't particularly accessible by the sounds of it and they're not really being invited out to comedy and you go like who's this for then? The fucking white guilton instrument. Yeah I never said it was like we just want to give something back to them. Well okay stop giving them alcohol and fucking method Cuz they would give it to me

Like the the reason in the aboriginal communities over here alcohol and drugs are particularly bad just because like they didn't have like we've of course they've had booze in Europe for Like they didn't have like we've of course they've had booze in Europe for Fuckin 3000 years Jesus was fucking doing it in the Middle East. He's dealing with water We fucking built Disneyland on a Quaker settlement They just went here's fucking everything. Yeah, but fuck the Quakers. Yeah fucking Quick I like a Christian Christian What's a quick guy again? A quick guy like a Christian? Yeah, they're pacifists. So the best people to fucking oppress.

The best people in the world to oppress. Apart from Australians. The Athenian, yeah. That was a Wheel of Time reference, I'm sorry you went in on it. Is it use a quicker revolt? Oh, that's it. Damn it. Can you kill me first so I don't have to see my children die? But they've got good real estate Quakers, I've started noticing that. If you tune into looking

about, they've always got a fucking good building. They've got a giant fucking old school in Glasgow. They've got a big fucking place on the Royal Mail. There's Quakers in Scotland? There's Quakers everywhere. Man, I don't understand why they like this. I'm only just hearing about them now. Like I'm vaguely aware of the word Quaker, but I didn't know. It is a funny name to give someone who's scared to fight.

Is that why they say Quaker in your boots? Because the Quakers are cowards. The Quakers were the bad guy in Punisher. The guy from Hacksaw Ridge that kept running into the battlefield. All off-sex of Christianity are so fucking gay compared to like the off-sex of... Because Islam, the religion of peace, the off-s of it are not the religion of peace, right? They're like, no rights, none of you can sign the fucking windows. Every off-sect of Christianity is just the lamest fucking thing.

Mormons, Jehovah's. The off-shoots of Islam want peace the way that your dad wants peace when he's had enough on holiday yeah that's taking stuff off everybody is shouting at all the women yes that's some fucking piece starts taking it starts doing a Christmas decorations of January on December 20th I'm hitting you cuz I love you there's em Jehovah's Witnesses I don't even know what they're think I think their whole thing is that they don't believe in the holy trinity

Yeah, and you're like buddy first three blades And that starts it starts after Wesley Snipes was in jail, yeah, I also Had I just been to Christian and they describe what the Holy Ghost was what I forgot. It's the spunk isn't it the father? I've just been to Christian and they describe what the Holy Ghost was but I forgot it's the spunk isn't it the father The son and the Holy Holy Ghost is that the Trinity and the Holy Ghost like the fucking spirit that passed on there I think it's just yet. We'll see you I Don't know I don't know It's just all it's autism If you read the same book over and over and over and over again, that's depression and autism

like that's when I know if I'm in like a Before I realized that they were when woman I sat a couple of weeks if I ever go back and read a book that I've read before I go I'm sad because there's no surprise in this I'm reading this because it's familiar yeah every single Christian is the saddest fucking person every single one of your fans that's what you show about 20 times we all know they've got their fucking riddled with anxiety and oh yeah most of them mmm those are like come to my show cool I started I started fucking blocking people blocking people left right and center on Instagram yesterday because those different my little fun rants about Australia because the Australians can take it and every single person who

tried to explain something behind the joke to me I was like block block block block somebody called it the the coward punch somebody's like well actually I think you'll find the real reason why it's called that is because of the innocent lives that were lost blah blah blah blah but it's called the King punch because it was like if somebody was in a fucking casino or a pub Acting like the king. Yeah, right. You're the fucking king dead I call the king punch. Yes, right the king your fucking piece of a punch The shiver was like everyone's like every person who died of a king punch was fucking innocent I'm like, but it sounds like but it's it's something somebody thought they weren't the fucking best

I've ever been sucker punched bad bud. I Got sucker cigarettes stubbed out on me. You still speak to your dad? During one of his sanction visits. A conjugal imprisonment. Oh, fucking hell. I was about 18 or 19 and a night out and this fucking lassie stubbed her cigarette out on my arm when I was looking in the smoking section and then it just erupted into a big fight where all the guys that she was with and all my mates were rolling around. That's the thing. If a lass puts a cigarette out on you, you're knocking out the guy she's with. You can't de-note, that's the thing, all my ethics I'll point out is they can't do that. Probably Robba. No I think you're allowed to, I don't think you should be violent at any point, but if a woman swings at you or does anything, you're allowed one-on-one.

It's also directly related to how ugly she is I wouldn't I wouldn't say back if a woman has a beautiful woman touching that least it's not a woman anymore she's getting better yeah I think the protection comes first I think for me that like the the ugliness is a massive factor like if you got a cigarette put on me I turn around and she's a fucking Roar an absolute dog. I'm like you are you're not really a woman If you thought you're like, oh sorry about a cigarette and then light it for her Just to pick it up and smoke it. Oh, no, I've seen I've seen the honk girls get fucking hit in Scotland Well hot for Scotland. Yeah

Well, Hawthorne for Scotland. Yeah, so we keep them humble. Aye. Cara's been fucking. She got her shoulder, collarbone broken because she called some... We didn't listen. Is that the one where you ran off? I was getting the police. Well, before I knew her, she was making fun of some girl in a line of a nightclub because she was wearing fucking Ugg boots or something.

She was having a shout out moment in the toilets. And they just threw her down the ground, broke her collarbone. I was like, yeah man. But that's like just great learning experiences. Especially a woman wearing Ugg boots to the club knows how to fucking kick the shit out of you. That's a woman who's giving up. That's a joke my dad wrote for me that I never used because it's a decent joke, but it also just doesn't work, which is they call Aberdeen the furry boot town

because all the women are Ugg. It's solid. When we were single, I had quite good success rate in Aberdeen. Yeah, I wonder why. I just want to lie next to someone warm. So it is. Aberdeen is one of the places I weirdly gigged loads when I was new because of Naz. Oh yeah, yeah.

I used to love getting a Naz breaking bad news that he definitely knew about for a week as if it was new bad news on the day of a gig. Yeah, yeah. And you get a voice note while you're driving up and then be like, hey bro, so... there's no chairs in the venue and there's been a flood

but we're going to go ahead with the gig anyway. We've told everyone to bring sandals and shorts We're making it beach themed I do wish there was some sort of like FIFA for comedy where there's just like I don't know how the craziest and worst cunts in the fucking world get to be promoters Yeah, like I mean Because people like that for stage time. There's enough people that'll do any gig, because that's the only way you learn.

You take every gig that you can get. So if someone pops a gig up, you're going to get a handful of competent comics that are trying to fill their diary. There's also like these just like comedy ghouls, and you just see their names pop up on lineups of, and it's always in like all the the chuckle hut and buscom And you know, I don't know what any of that means Yeah, but there's a gag and there's going to be 30 audience members there And there's all gonna be the drunkest people because the only reason we're told they could get tickets was they were gonna get to fuck

I'm free drinks because this person does not see that in the cycle of like people who've been doing it for 10 years and are angry because The last thing you're ever gonna do is admit that maybe I'm not good enough at this You got bullied. I've come over here for us here in Australia. I know Hi, like you meet these comics who've just been like they've been in the same position in their career for 10 15 years Well, we all we always just have a fucking bit which is like how good it would be to just get to be comedy HR. I say to people after 10 years be like hey man thanks so much for your in-ins. You've been stale for a couple

of years now you're not really changing things up. It's time to pack. You're done. It's over. Sorry, man. Good innings. You've got to support Frankie a couple of times. You're not, you're not going to go on with your man. It's over. See you later. His name and names on here. I know. I'm just, it's a, it's a weird one to pick because I feel like he can fight because he's like a juggler. Yeah, yeah, he's fucking boring and sober. But I did one, if you're sober you're not allowed to knock anyone out of a fucking nightclub.

Oh yeah, that's weird isn't it? That's like when people go out sober and pull, you're like, I don't know about that, your frequency's got to be similar similar like you kind of be how soon after becoming comedy HR would you stop listening to sexual harassment claims because I feel like you'd get like you guys let's finally clean this up and after three days you're like so it's everyone yeah everyone's doing this in the car the way here feel like because my age it over here was talking about this in the car the way here, being like, because my agent over here was talking to me about the brand stuff.

And I was like, to be fair, like in the UK now, I don't really know, I don't really hear any rumors about there being any fucking predators out there anymore. I'm like, people will probably just stop telling me. They're probably just like, oh, man, he's, and I was like, hey, Sloss, how are you? The kid's doing well, yeah. I'm going on over here.

You grab your phone every time I tell you a secret. Yeah, this is what, this is exactly what Sossie's kitchen looks like. Press conference. Sorry, what was that you were saying about the gig last night? Pushing the mic in your face. It's, it's fucked up, man. about the gig last night. Pushing the mic in your face.

It's fucked up man. I don't think there's going to be as much. It's not going to be the Wild Wild West anymore. But, comedy's going, pushing to the right again. I reckon there's going to be some rapes at Kill Tony. We were talking about my first time in Australia and I was talking with the line-up I was on and it was like old people that got swept up with me too. Like literally like fucking no I did not even me too with Tom Bins that was like fucking hard drive full of child porn. And then the man from X and fucking like I'm like oh they're picture, because I've had photos of a fucking like backstage at Leighton Live with the person that used to host it

And I'm like, oh man, it's like I've got like, you know when you see pictures like PS Morgan with like Graham Maxwell Okay, the things I'd like to call it more predators because if I call out two more I get to do one false accusation That's the new thing you know people used to shout Kobe before they took paper in a bin Yeah, you have to show that right before you But I there's not as much. Do you know, I think there's a direct correlation to when we started making comedy about mental illness, to when the really mentally ill ones started to disappear. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's now, mental illness and comedy is people with pretend ADHD, whereas it used to be people with real schizophrenia Well, it was it was like if you wanted to enter that amuse-mouse competition yet to go to London and do 90 seconds If you're set right and they're not seeing if you're funny. I'm so glad I'm used mooses dead that just making sure that Yeah, she looks she's almost identical in appearance and and persona to hear off the weakest link Yeah, yeah, she looks almost identically in appearance and persona to her off the weakest link. Yeah, yeah. Ramesh. What's your call again, Arn something?

Robinson. Ann Robinson, she's like Tommy's mum. I was just like, couldn't get my head around the fact that it wasn't Ann Robinson when I went down there. If it was Tommy's mum, weakest link would be Raymond Slink. You're the weakest link. Friendly reminder, there's no such person as Tommy Robinson at Stephen Lee, actually. Double barter name on him is a fucking great turn.

He's a character act and people are buying it. Yeah, it was. Yeah, you just usually he's no different to the fucking Liver King or Russell Brand, is you just, you find a bunch of conspiracy theorists who are isolated and alone because they're ugly and they were abused as kids and the mental health system in the NHS has fucking failed them over the years. So they don't trust anyone. And you're like, well, you've got fucking money since you've got no friends or kids to spend on.

So when you fucking buy these pills that I'm selling Are these fucking healing crystals wherever is Russell Brown selling nowadays? but and also I think comedians was like one of the one few groups of people who Watched adolescence and weren't like oh my god. Is this really happening? Yeah, it's been happening for a decade Yeah, I watch adolescents going which colour hearts have I been using? Yeah, you've shown. Yeah, yeah. I've still not seen it.

I know. There's just, there's loads of code in the emojis that the kids know, but the adults don't because they're not tuned in to the way like kids talk to each other. So like, it looked like someone has been nice on Instagram, but they're actually bullying them and it was based on the emojis.

And like the different colour hearts mean different things. I mean, bullied in emojis is such a thing. yeah, I used to get buttered when I was a kid Someone through a smiley face at me from time to time. What was I would they fight change the gun emoji to the water pistol? Emoji I was just like this is like fans focus got scared This is the this is the left wing that the right wing think the left wing are. This is the fucking parody bit. Like lads, changing it to a water pistol is not going to lower gun crime at all. Not even a fucking shred.

It just changed a lot of rappers' Instagram handles. Yeah, yeah. That was it. But that is like, to me, the problem with a lot of left stuff and the stuff that makes it hard to like, as you go like, lads, we're not changing gun law. No, no. Also, we're saying suicide, we're not saying unaliving themselves. Fuck off, man. Also, unaliving and also fucking using the great emoji instead of saying rate. Oh so bored. It was there was the fucking walk time for homeless

You're not fixing the problem by changing the fucking language like the worst one I've seen is a like Very kind of liberal fashion tick tockers. I've started referring to wife beaters as wife pleazers Pleazers? No they're not. Yeah I promise. Oh man. I remember when I first started I could be doing that note in line there you know how you go I know what you're thinking yeah but it's always like I look like someone crossed with someone I love child of you I know what you're thinking can you kill a tramp and get away with it? You couldn't do that anymore could you?

Remember bum fights? Yeah. We used to do them to add in the hotel room. The best bit of troll I remember though is when fucking Dr. Phil had the guy who started it on his show to like lambast. Have you never seen this clip? So it's like this guy that started bum fights and Dr. Phil had him on the show and he was gonna be like really fucking give him a dressing down and the guy came on dressed as Dr. Phil even shaved the middle of his hair and came on dresses on and then absolutely destroyed him and being like you're doing the same thing as me.

100%. You're getting like trailer trash on your show and exploiting them. Yep. He's like at least I'm like paying mine. For me, it's shocking to me that fucking Jeremy Kyle isn't in jail, cause there's a suicide from Jeremy Kyle because they use the lie detectors, which are, have an accuracy rate of 51%. It's absolute nonsense. It's slightly more, it's at the 1% more

than literally just guessing. So like they're a guy on, and like she thinks she's cheating on you. Yeah lie detector was fucking inconclusive He's mentally up. That's why he was on fucking Jamaica killed himself. They took the show off of there You're like, that's not no no no no no, no, no, no jail if I went online I bullied someone into fucking killing themselves. I would be in fucking jail, right? Doesn't matter whether it was your assistance doesn't matter whether it was How did he kill himself because I don't reckon there's enough room to hang yourself in a caravan He slid his groin seven times Took the blocks out from under the wheels and just got run over by his house

I thought you've from his wheelchair. Just rolled down a hill. I've never thought about that. If wheelchair users, if you arrive on holiday and the ground isn't level, you just have to fucking chalk yourself in. Who was the other one? Jerry Springer? He was the Jeremy Kearney. He's dead now, isn't he? No.

Is he not? No, no. They just made a documentary about that, like last year. Jerry Springer's not dead? No. I walked past him in London once. Me and Nas has manly, different Nas to what we're talking about now, but Dean. I walked past him and just turned around, went, that's Jerry Springer. And he turned around and waved at me, he had a clipboard. He waved his clipboard at me. I mean, lads, you two look terrible.

I hope what he's doing later, I've got a shorter film. The American ones were always better because they leaned into the bat-shittiness the way only Americans can. Like, Jeremy Kyle was always just like, two fucking junkies who have had an affair on each other. The thing that they never... You sold my Xbox for heroin,

didn't share the heroin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing that Jerry Springer and that got right was like, it was... They leaned into bat shit. It was always like, my ex-baby daddy just got gender reassignment surgery and now says that he's not technically a dad

so doesn't have to pay alimony and then they open it to the floor and it's just people who stand up and they're like they've got pre-prepared put-downs people who are coming their lives dissected on stage. It just becomes a fucking roast. That guy's playing 4D chess like that. I just fucking came up there now. I was gonna say that. Way before today. Yeah.

But I've got two mums now. Yeah. Fucking JK Rowan would be raging. But I had, well she did a fucking tweet today where I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to fucking, I'm gonna have to start listen to some life in podcast because it's I don't agree with Jakey of early on many many things the asexual thing 100% 100 p correct so funny and absolutely spot-on she put a thing it was like it was national asexual

awareness day and she was like hey, we all have to like take time to celebrate people that don't fancy a shag. I was like, ah. And she was fucking spitting bars. That is funny and also 100% true. This is, people will be like, straight people need to get in every hand. I've got more right to be involved in the LGBTQ than the A, because

all I... Asians? I still... Yeah, I mean, at least I still like to put my cock somewhere. I've got way more in common with a gay man than someone who doesn't want to shag anybody. So is asexual like, do they... Nobody's like, there's no asexual pride, I you're not proud of your sexuality surely if you're sexual you'd be like I fucking wish I had a libido feel like I'm missing out

on something it's not like not having no it's like it's like me with eggs right ah wish wish I like I'd love to like eggs especially this fucking country right they love it can't fathom a breakfast without eggs. Eggs on fucking cereal, eggs on everything. I had a whiskey last night, man. I did. Whiskey cocktail egg. Can I be included on Australia's national egg thing?

Yeah. No, no, I have a relationship with eggs and that is no relationship with eggs. I'm a egg. Yes. and that is no relationship with eggs. I'm a egg. Yes. It's a...

That's the one group where I'm like... Fuck off. Fuck off. Put your fucking cocks somewhere you loser. Oh you're funny. Well they can be a sexual too. That's so much gayer than being gay. It's actually getting involved in a conversation that they like have no part in

because imagine you're talking to someone about football and then someone comes along and just goes I don't like football like okay Do you know like talking if gay people are talking about gay issues and the fact that they've historically had such a hard time and then Like all the misinformation of the AIDS pandemic and all that stuff and then coming along and being like yeah me too I don't want any of it Yeah that is the same when people are talking about the Champions League and that person everyone knows comes up and goes oh you mean like millionaire kicky ball shut up you fucking nothing

yeah can't overpaid rapists like I'm not overpaid I really think there's a class isn't the words hate on footballers getting a good wage as well you know they're like I'll give it to the nurses and I'm like what do you think half of it goes on what do you think 50% of that gans on it but other than taxes that guarantee nurses yeah if it got distributed correctly by the fucking politicians yeah fucking Marcus Rashford keeps giving his away to fun skills. Yes in Greenwood also but for other reasons. But it's true man, like yeah and a lot of them are fucking thick as fuck and don't deserve to be millionaires. And also there's that much money going into the sport from like sponsors and ticket holders. Who do you want to have the money? The fucking CEOs and shit? Well I do think one thing about football that is annoying is the amount of money that's in it

It's only in really in the UK is the fans are getting punished Because they had a thing about Bayern Munich where they were like there's 250 euro season tickets and they're like all we can we can't up like if we put up to 500 we'd make an extra two million a year. What's two million in football? Which is like in a transfer we talk about that for 30 seconds. So we just like buy, we'll pay less for the player. So I don't understand how financial fair, sorry if I've gone into football, but how

financial fair play works is based on like your income and how much you can spend so you'll get teams like Newcastle and Everton who are Now looking at bigger stadiums, so it must play some part in it in the like amount you can spend Yeah, so I didn't know that I didn't quite understand that from Bayern Munich Yeah, I don't know but I do think I do think it should be affordable to the working man They shouldn't be fucking you get about you get about like attendance of people if in the atmosphere if it's people that are I would also much rather Thick people be rich than smart people because these thick people cannot avoid tax Yeah, and if they do it's easily called a local loopholes. She's not paying tax

I don't think that the fact person this won the lottery was poor again in three fucking years, right? If a rich person gets it buys a fucking company, they combine the fucking look poles They know how to underpay fucking people they can keep that money forever never goes back into the system Right if a fucking coal Palmer is on 15 million a year. I'm seeing that at the end of the year And also like I've always said, you know when people whinge about the guy across the road That's on benefits and he's out having a smoke, right? You're like, oh man, it doesn't matter how much money you give him in benefits, right? The community is gonna get it back Yeah, he is not keeping any of that. It's gone straight to the local shop

It's gone straight to fucking highly taxed items like cigarettes and alcohol like it's fine Give them people money cuz it's gonna cut They're not gonna keep a hold of it and collect interest off it like fucking you can put that in it's People are hoarding it That one seven and a half million on the lottery and lost it all in two years and he was like net then he was like I'm gonna go he was like he's like all I'm left with he was a proper chav He's like all I'm left with is this massive house and the dirt bike track that I built behind it And I've not got enough money to maintain it

bike track that I built behind it and I've not got enough money to maintain it. You're crazy. You built a fucking like dirt jump track and bought like motorbikes for him and all his pals. It's just slowly but surely flattening it. It's fucking that's the people that deserve to be lottery winners. Yeah because they're... I think all of that goes into the community. Yeah. All of that's getting spent on local businesses? Yeah, they think putting your money offshore is buying a banana boat.

LAUGHS That's fucking... They're literally just keeping that money warm for the rest of the economy. Oh yeah, anybody that keeps the money moving can have it. 100%, yeah. But also it's just that thing of like it's a very millennial slash Gen Z thing of you hear people having a conversation about football and if you don't like football it's we can't do

that thing of going well this just isn't a conversation for me we just go how can I insert my fucking big stupid fucking head in there. I always find that it's just such a nice topic of conversation for staying, like you get past small talk and you'd never get onto politics. Yeah. And it's just this great pocket of conversation that you can have with fucking taxi drivers

without having to hear a racist joke. Like it's just, it's such an easy, it's an easy thing. And then like, I, someone that doesn't like football, defuse it, defuse it and fizzle it. And they're like, oh shit, now, someone that doesn't like football, defuse it. The defuse it and fizzle it and they're like, oh shit, now I've got to actually talk to you about your opinions. Yeah.

Oh no, cause I'm going to disagree with loads of them. Aye, aye. And it's, also throwback to being able to talk to a taxi driver. Aye. Oh, I can't. Just, you'd have to interrupt their fucking phone call now. Just all you need to do, because I was just going to Dublin. Going to Dublin because they

bring the crack. No man, Dublin fucking taxi drivers are fucking shut the fuck up. You can't even get a word in. Shut the fuck up. You are the least interesting person I've ever met in my fucking life. The closest you've come to being interesting is me. If you knew who I was, this would be your conversation for the next two fucking years. But you're so dull and tedious. Yeah, I can't. Love that bit when Uber finally, after too many years, were like, maybe we should stop these failed doctors in LA just being able to ear fuck people for 60 minutes on the freeway

We're finally gonna offer silent that you can just be like do not say a word to me. I quite enjoy having a conversation Yeah, but I'll buy yesterday I was open to that. He brought us a coffee. He started conversation and it flowed It wasn't like it wasn't like it was pulling teeth, it was just a nice chat. He was in the cars and I was just chatting with him about recent car problems and all that. It was just quite nice. It was like chatting to someone that you get along with. But that's not always the case. That's the look down with that.

I can do five minutes of small talk in a know that there's no such thing as 45 minutes small talk. So don't none of it None of it. So let's not start it, right? We I'll start small talk if the end is so inciting the end is when you give me that fucking receipt If you're looking at 57 minutes on a map, you know, you know, you know, it's nice as well about that There was no one else in the barbers So like I didn't feel like we were inflicted in what conversation on people that just wanted a haircut Yeah, so it's just like me and a dude having a chat and like I was like all good because like Often like I've had haircuts where I've been traveling where I've ended up having to reveal

I'm a comedian because otherwise you've got to sit in a lie for 30 to 30 minutes or something Got a beard. You know what I do love though? What I do love is getting in a taxi after about five pints when you're not that bothered about seeming slightly racist. And then you're like, right, let's not talk about the weather. Where are you from? Yeah, you're from a few, come on. But 100% of the time I've had the richest conversations with Uber drivers or taxi drivers By from froming them No, wait, literally by coming, come on mate

So that's not a Scottish name where he was from I spoke to a guy recently and I was like oh and he had like thick accent and I went So I think we were chatting and I just went where are you from? And he went Eritrea and I went class What's going on there? And he was like it hit all the uber driver points fled Civil war yeah fucking great. And then he was like I miss the women there your women are ugly And I like they they're not this is a conversation. Yeah, where's Eritrea?

Africa is it? Yeah. And it's, yeah, I think they're undergoing... Is that a country or a city? It's a country. Eritrea is a country. They do have the most, like, they do have, like, a thing of, like, they maybe have the most beautiful women in the world. There was a thing in the 90s where a photographer went over and, like like photographed women just like from like tribal women and then a bunch of them got modeling contracts oh wow I got flown over to be models they're all like pivot for all like really tall and oh yeah good looking. But yeah, because white people are the only ones worried to genuinely ask someone who's not from the UK where are you from.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, imagine you were in a foreign country, if someone sat in the back and took a bit of interest in where you're from, you'd be like, oh class. So it's in East Africa, it's north of Ethiopia, it shows the border border with it and Djibouti and Sudan. Great name for the country. Djibouti. Djibouti is one of those countries that's like the album tracks named after the album. It's like the capital is called Djibouti as well. My fiance told me this is the most private school joke ever. She went to like international school and she was a member of the model UN. She's an awful person. I love her, but she was such an American overachiever when she

was at school. And she told me that one of the jokes, all the model UN kids would play is you got like, you got assigned a country and you had to like advocate for your country pretending it was like international peace talks. and they had like an iPad and you whatever you're like Whatever motion you chose to perform as a country would come up on the giant screen in front of everyone And as soon as people figured it they just kept saying, you know your country whatever it was Poland Poland has motion to invade Djibouti with the help of Greece. That's nice. That's good stuff. I like that.

That is very different to what was going on at my high school. I think actually... Spitting a bit of tuna paper through a pen. What's the capital of Thailand? I remember a block of hash being sold from one pupil to another in front of a supply teacher and the boy said, what the fuck are you going to do? Man, I love that the blocks of hash were like poverty weed back then. It was like five, you get five ideals and ten ideals, like the half moon off, like I did nine bars of soap bar, right? Yeah. And now that's like rocking ideals like the half moon off like I did nine bars of soap bar right? yeah and now that's like rockin is like the good stuff

yeah you've got to hold your lighter under it to heat it fucking up and then you've got to wait for it to cool down enough but still be warm enough that you could then take it off and sprinkle it Brett who I know listens to this still fucking has she's just the worst weed in the world I bought him in Portugal at that surfing festival didn's a fun festival that you do I did it there but I just like street then I just bit it off superpowers now. Orades. Which is the superpower. Yeah.

Don't let it hold you back anymore. That's mad though that that's basically just like having fucking the cold. Do you want to hear my really really good joke from my father of the Bridesmaid page from Jeans Wearing took me, I had to go through by two comedians to be like how do I phrase this properly? So my friend Jean, she's a weirdo, she's always had an obsession with Princess Diana, she lives in Australia now, an Australian man. So the line is, Jean loves Princess Diana and much like Princess Diana she threw herself headfirst into travel, hit the

road and never came back. And the bit he didn't put in is there. And then she's in a better place, down under, when it's very hot. Oh, amazing. You cut the taglines. Yeah, that's great. That's phenomenal. What a beautiful thing to say. Getting the time and joke into a wind speech is pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people did not like it. The joke that was cut out, which I did, so, Gene's husband is Australian, but his family moved from El Salvador way back in the day. And I was like, I said in an earlier speech, just to Gene and some of her friends, I knew I wouldn't make it.

And I was like, obviously, later tonight's speech, I don't want to upset Eric's family with some of my crass humour, especially since most of them swam all the way from fucking Mexico or wherever. Or wherever it's so funny. Where am I? This is from...

Yeah, never mind build a wall, build a dam, I say. It came from one of the cleaner countries, and I don't mean they've kept it clean. I mean that's what they do now. I, erm, my dad had a fucking belt out of a Princess Diana one. He just, the way he threw it away was so fucking good. We were walking down the Royal Mile years ago

with my mum and dad, I think my sister as well. And they have that fucking weird Princess Diana like shop halfway down the road and it's still there. It's like a souvenir shop. And they had a big sign that said Princess Diana Memorial tartan, my mum read it out loud and she went, oh, I wonder what the tartan,

well, I wonder what that tartan, I think she read it and she went, I wonder what's the tartan? And my dad just went, about a million bits. Oh, nice. When we were workshopping, the word of the joke joke as well I fired one through when I was at the same women have a glass ceiling but Diana didn't let the sunroof stop her. It was also the other one which was tonight I've got the honor of being at Gene's father

since he couldn't be here for religious reasons he's in hell but Gene's always been more like a sister to me which if you know my family history just means that she's dead retarded. I think when you're doing a speech you've got to get out the ones that you can't do. It's part of the writing process. Just look I'm gonna get these out of your system and then at the end just try and squeeze them in by like asking like, do you think this will go down? I am in the middle of it we're about to like book our venue for our wedding next year and I'm like do I ask a comedian to be a best man or do I ask an actual human yeah that's a human

yeah well help him punch it up yeah because I don't I just can't have someone be like right right none of us can believe this man is married to you. We both get a comedian to wrangle our comic mates and get a civilian to wrangle their home mates. If you can get a funny civilian that's good for everybody. Yeah, Gene and Ali did one of my speeches and theirs was great. There was also, Ali was best man at another wedding, Jordan's wedding, and I was like, do you want me to help you punch up? And he just, I'll forever respect him for this.

He went, no, I'm not a comedian, man. There's no one I'm trying to do. Like, if my jokes are a bit shit and fucking lame, it's because I'm a bit shit and fucking lame. I've got no ego with it. It's coming from me, I'm not just being your spokesman. Yeah. Speak very quickly, if we wrap up the Diana thing. I feel like it barely made the news

that... Diana died? Fucking hell. I don't feel like it's been spoken about enough. Some people don't know. Some people are finding out now through this podcast. The women that accused Prince Andrew got Diana'd. Is she? I don't know if she's dead or she got put in a coma.

Oh shut up. Like literally last month she got like mysterious car crash and she was in a critical condition. You're joking? Yeah, like which annoys me because I'm like royal family, get a new one. Yeah come on. Blow dark. Use the colonies. But it is my bike. get a new one yeah come on use the colonies

still using the same technique hack yeah but it didn't kill this one they're just a lot safer cause now the airbags you're like bloody fucking Volvo's apparently Diana didn't die like, instantly she was talking to the paramedics afterwards because they didn't know that she'd, like had an artery was gone. The paramedics. Oh yeah. Aren't you Michael Jackson's doctor?

Yeah. Plug some shit, Connor, cause you're gonna be in Australia for the next little while. Yeah, I'm at Melbourne Festival until the end of it, whenever that is, like the next two weeks. and then I go to Brisbane Sydney and Perth there's only a I think Brisbane's only got about 20 tickets left well Brisbane's always Brisbane's audience-wise in this country probably

best yeah I feel like it's like the like the Northeast England thing it's the Newcastle of Australia so except for a big set for an actual Newcastle. There is a Newcastle, but that's not to be confused with Newcastle because it's Alvignards. Glorious Hunter Valley. And then Perth as well, we added a second show in Perth so there's only a few for that. I'm in Melbourne by the time this comes out, I've probably got about two gigs left, but until the 13th and then I'm going to Sydney. Everything's on my website. Oh yeah. Couple of gigs back home as well.

May, when's this out? Probably like two days time. Right, so Thursday, Friday, Saturday, this weekend I'm at the Comedy Store in Sydney, same as true for next Thursday, Friday, Saturday, two shows on the Saturday. I'm headlining so it'll be about half an hour of newer shit. I was chatting to Matilda yesterday of getting the Sloss and Humphreys logo tattooed on her skin fame and she was asking about, I got her through a tough time man. So just to put your mind at ease with her, she was driving back and forth to a bent out home, like moving house and shit,

and she listened to the podcast all the way and got her through a difficult time. And then we changed the logo. Never changed the logo. No, she's the reason we haven't changed the logo. Oh, God. We're keeping it just for her. So she was saying, oh, we're going to do a podcast in Sydney. So she was saying we're gonna do a podcast in Sydney and I suggested we do one on the day of the Opera House gig on the afternoon because then we've got the Anne Frenzen, there's also people over from Sydney that are coming to the

Opera House that could come to the afternoon gig. It'd have to be at fucking 9am in the morning. How so? Because it's the Opera House's doing shit to do. But it's fine, you'll get all the audio on the wire that he wears backstage. Maybe it's the next morning then? Anzac Day. Is it? Okay, right, we'll get back to you on if we're ever gonna do a live podcast but it's now looking unlikely. Yeah. Soz. What's sad way to end the podcast? It's killing dreams.