Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Picky Cannibalism

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

Welcome to the food tour podcast. After the well trodden track debating metric and imperial, Muggins and Cream discuss how they'd eat eachother if push came to shove. Kai tests Daniel to see how famous he thinks he is compared to other public figures. #14   Improve the contents of your fridge with delicious cider from our partner Thistly Cross using your 10% off discount code. Enjoy! www.thistlycrosscider.co.uk Discount Code: thistlysloss10   Join us at Altitude festival for a live podcast in the Alps, 1-5 April 2024. Get discounted festival tickets with your 10% discount code. www.altitudefestival.com Discount Code: mugginsandcream24

We recorded your podcast last night here in Stockholm, but before we get into that pure entertainment, we want to bring you an informational about Altitude Festival. We're going to be doing a live podcast there. If you want to see us be this hungover in a different country, it'll be Austria. Mayrhofen, one of the most beautiful cities in Austria. I say I've not been to fucking many of them, but, you know, it's like fucking a really hot person. You're like, I don't need to fuck other hot people to know that this was one of the hottest I'm capable of doing in my life. I've not been doing Altitude for about seven years now. I'm very excited to be going back. It's an unbelievably good lineup this year.

It's myself, Daryl O'Brien, Paul Smith, Maisie Adams, Zoe Lyons, Andrew Maxwell, Marcus Brigstocke, Emmanuel Sunobi, friend of the podcast, Mark Nelson, friend of the podcast, and then heaps of other people. And I'm not going to go through their names because one there's too many of them and two I don't know many of them

it's such a good line up and what's mint about it is like it's a proper hangout it's like everybody it's immersive it's an immersive festival like there's no like other festivals is an artist bar

that we all retreat to and hobnob like pricks but this is a one where we'll like hang out with everybody on the slopes or on the same slopes in the same bars

the gigs are always class please do come to the festival it's unbelievably good fun so we've got a discount code for you Muggins and Cream 24 Thistley Cross 10 and actually when you do

Muggins and Cream 24 you actually get 10% off 24 is misleading it is mate yeah this is you 24 you actually get 10% off 24 is misleading it is mate yeah it doesn't sound like you're going to get a quarter off almost a quarter off it's the year

that makes sense Muggins and Cream all lowercase 24 and go to altitudefestival.com to buy your tickets and your flights you want to fly into

either Innsbruck or Munich and then get your transfer from there and hotel wise if you can get the Strass that is ideal place like that's where the majority of the gigs are the majority of the hangout is.

And it's near the ski lift. Every year that I do Altitude Festival, it's the best week of the year by miles. And it's the 1st to the 5th of, should I get this right? The 1st to the 5th of April this year. And that's going to be my next live podcast. It's going to be in the mountains and it's going to be class and we want to see loads of you people there.

Enjoy the podcast. It's hack. Oh, muggles. Accidental rim job in the park. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Or am I just being cynical? Just muggled it up on fucking Mugglepedia. Where have you been since 9-11? I'm John Spartan and this is Simon Phoenix

in way of just being cryogenically frozen. You just call him John Spartan? John Spartan, Simon Phoenix. Who's John Spartan? He's Stallone's character in Demolition Man, where they get frozen for like 30-odd years and then come back. His name's John Spartan? Aye.

That's very funny because the name of Spartan Master Chief is John, 117. Who's Spartan Master Chief? From fucking Halo. Oh, okay. What year was this? Oh, no no Halo was definitely after 95 I think

Demolition Man was aye is that the one where they wipe their arse holes with shells aye aye there's a fucking joke

that boomers love aye way too fucking much no hey not boomers bring boomers into this that's a bit boomery bring boomers into this

Gen X shit that we've got going on here's a here's here's a little bit advice for you if you're round about you know my age maybe a little bit younger and you want to make your girlfriend's dad laugh if you want to make your father-in-law laugh right just first time they come around to your house to visit take all the toilet paper out and put three shelves on top of it and he'll come out and he'll be like very good very very it's a deborah it's actually a reference to a movie and yeah yeah and then he'll start swearing next to

the profanity ticket generator yeah i love that they were given like actual paper receipts in the future man you know how people nowadays the angry old people online you know when they talk about they see fucking sarah pascoe or nish kumar do comedy that they don't like and they're like things were funny back in my days i'd love to go back in time four years and just be the best living comic by a country fucking mile just go back and just go right are we just doing racism and misogyny then straight up doesn't need to be clever. Straight through the thing. All right, let's make you pieces of shit laugh. I'm about to become a fucking millionaire.

A multi-millionaire. Guilt free. Oh, absolutely guilt free. Fucking unironically using the P word, unironically saying faggot. Oh, I'd have the time of my life. That's the way it sounds, a puff but not faggot.

No, I meant... No, I was being silly. I was doing a silly. Well, don't. Sorry, mate. No time for silliness. How did you enjoy being frozen for five minutes? I mean, busman's holiday

when you're in the fucking Scandex, like it's a very odd thing to... I'm glad we did it. We could have just took our clothes off outside. But he did say it was like he said some ridiculous number like minus 80 something so he must have been talking about franheit obviously yeah um because zero is minus 40 no i think i've got that wrong i think you've got it wrong i think minus 40 is where This is why minus 40 is in my head.

I'm not even going to look this up. I'm going to pass it off as a fact. Minus 40 is the one place where Celsius and Fahrenheit meet. Minus 40. If you say it's minus 40, you don't need to ask what in. Yeah, okay. Because that's where they cross each other. Don't fact check it.

Just take that as a bit of knowledge. Pass it on as your own. Change the subject if anyone asks where you got it from. I fucking hate people that use Fahrenheit. Celsius is just infinitely fucking easier. Do you know why it's easier? Because anything over zero

is warmer. And anything below zero is cold. Zero is freezing point. Hundred is boiling point. Break it up in between. Yeah. Oh, so simple. What temperature is it today outside?

It's 18 degrees. Oh, that sounds like 18 above zero. That's going to be fairly hot. What temperature is it today? 54. What? I don't want to be doing calculus to work with if I'm going to be hot. What are you fucking talking about, you stupid yank? What?

Like, everything. I think I've been on this rant a million times but everything needs to be american makes sense like and i like people cling on to males and stuff i saw a friend of mine having a rant about people like only write their uh their run times or whatever in kilometers because it makes it look better because you're doing more of them and all that and you're like no because it's like it breaks everything down into hundreds yeah like our mind is made to work in fives and tens because that's how many fingers we've got like 10 would be where 12 is and we would see like 100 is 120 if we had six fingers on each hand like it's literally like what brain is tail had for tens. I agree. And we just go, nope, nope,

I'm going to go absolute fucking multiples of random shit. I agree. It should absolutely be kilos over stone, even though I do still register myself a lot of the time, measure myself in stone. Easier in kilo, fair enough. Pounds, pointless, get the fuck. Where I cannot do it is height.

I'm 1 meter 87. Ah, fuck off, cunt. Everyone knows what six foot is. Never tell anybody your lengthier cock in centimeters. Everyone knows what six foot is. If you're below six foot, you're not a real man. And if you're over six foot, you are a real man. It's that simple, right?

I say this as a 5 foot ten person, right? Six foot, that's just the game. We're in Sweden. I have a friend who's one meter 97. Okay. What does that mean? What does that fucking mean? They're right and we're wrong.

We just haven't, we haven't unpicked that bit yet. Like it's easy for us to like say Americans, unpick the Fahrenheit bit so we can all get along. But like all it is, is I haven't unpicked the fucking feet and furlongs and all that. Like why were leagues, why are we talking in that kind of fucking old tongue? I don't know why we are. But there's some of it stuck. Like that is stuck.

Like I'm not good. Like I'm now weighing myself in kilograms. Yeah, I do the same. I do that now. That took a while, that. Like it was always like 12 myself in kilograms. Yeah, I do the same. I do that now. That took a while, that. Like it was always like 12 stone or whatever. Yeah. And is it pounds that make up stones?

Yeah, so 12 pounds in a stone. Yeah. I think you just got to be fucking brutal. There should just be like a six-month period where if you request anything out of the metric system you don't get anything like just people will go no can i get two pounds of cheese no but i can see you've got cheese there like yeah you work out in your fucking head and you tell me but you know how much two pounds of cheese of course it is i'm a cheesemonger i've been doing this for 50 years

i've been doing this before they forced the fucking change but they brought the change in yesterday and if i say if i sell you cheese in pounds, right, they've got my daughter. They're going to kill her. So order it in kilos. I'm going to put it out there that like cheesemongers were the original people to use actual stones. Yeah.

Where they put a stone in the scale next to the cheese. Yeah. I can't. The temperature is just the real pissing worst. Like, they just like saying 100, because that sounds really, and it's 100 Fahrenheit, it's really hot, and they like being able to say,

it's over 100, sounds way more impressive than it's over 32, which is like it's fucking boiling. It's like the Super Soaker 2000. There's never a 1999 previous Super Soakers There were three They're just making it sound cool by giving it a big number Yeah

Same with the Nimbus 2000s Unless it was like a 2 litre And it was like 2000 centilitres Isn't Is litre a thousand? Is litre metric? Litres and millilitresres fuck you've got to see that's the metric side of pints

is it? imperial's pints fucking hell that's like dementia that that's like something that was already definitely new but just had to question when we do the force conversion to the metric, it does mean we're going to go about two years without decent cakes from our grandparents.

Right. Because they're never going to be able to adjust to because they're the only cunts in the world who knows what a cup is. Right. Because back in the 1950s, there was only one type of cup. And that's what you measured with. One cup of sugar, one cup of milk and now you live in modern times and you're like what cup what what physical cup do you mean in my house do you mean a juice cup do you mean a tea cup do you mean a coffee cup is an espresso cup is it what what's

a fucking cup is that like a cup for my dick is that what it is because because i got a bigger cup than other people how much sugar am i putting this is the fucking cake i i think i think that is like um they just couldn't give a fuck it's just like i just took half a cup in other people? How much sugar am I putting into the fucking cake? I think that is like, they just couldn't give a fuck. They just say, oh, just chuck half a cup in. Yeah. Like, stop being so precise

when you're spoiling it. Yeah. Half a cup, just a fucking handful of berries. Yeah. Like, stop, stop cooting the berries at your fanny.

Just chuck them in there. I think that's just them being class and vague. Also, the old women, old women who cook and your dealer are the only people

that talk announces yeah yeah again weeds I was always like cokes and grams well done coke you've done the right thing

coke dealers out there you're doing a good job fucking weed dealers who the nerve you've got to give your clientele fucking math to do

giving yourself math to do can I get an eighth an eighth of what an eighth of what what does an eighth mean can I get a quarter to give your clientele fucking math to do. Giving yourself math to do. Can I get an eighth? An eighth of what? An eighth of what? What does an eighth mean? Can I get a quarter?

A quarter of what? You went directly to the Americans by depluralising maths. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. You've started, like, I mean, I sometimes do it where, like, I'll know there's American listeners, so I'll say,

I get that. I do that. You've just done it subconsciously there you just give them math you let them have math I would never let no it is math there is more than one type of

there's more than one math happening it's a shortened down version of mathematics even though there's more than one Lego it's still Lego they say Legos yeah that's a brand though

Legos Legos yeah you don't say Legos you don't have Kleenexes. Uh-huh. Right? You have...

Get me some Kleenex. You get your hair cut, but you don't get your hairs cut. No. Even though that's what you're doing. I'm going to cut my hairs. Like hair is the plural for hair. No, no. Hair is also the title for the collection of hair.

The collection of hair. In the same way that multiple sheep is the same word the collection of hair. The collection of hair. In the same way that multiple sheep is the same word for multiple hair. A head of hair is hair. Yeah. I've got a funny thing in my house now. You know how Natalie's hair just ends up everywhere? Like, surely you've ended up with just, like, somehow, like, Natalie's hair just in your house.

Do you know what? Long black hair. I always like people just kind of think this is me people are going to come in see hair line ruined

look at me and go well she's got a full head of hair his hair's far out that's his I'm like you're making it look like it's me

so how's it going grey yet she does dye it flat cunt spineless she does dye she does diet hair and but I think it's just like the occasional great I don't think should be like shock great I've gone to I've gone too hard in my stance that anyone who dies their hair is a godless fuck because my hair clearly you find that like i'm waiting most women even without gray hair choose the hair color like i'm gonna uneducated here throughout the guests that

approximately 90 of women choose the hair color yeah yeah which is why it's gay for a man like 90 of women It's gay for a man to do it. Get a boob job in LA. Like 90% of women. That'll be real, that class. Ding dong, it's the sound of capitalism. This podcast is proudly sponsored by, and proud to be sponsored by, Thistley Cross Cider.

The alcohol I drink in my spare time and have done for several years, so much so that I begged them to sponsor this podcast. The fact it's a personal favourite drink of both of us makes it so easy to do this bit. None of the... Looking down the barrel and just lying about a script that you've been forced down your neck, you're like, no, we actually want to be sponsored by this company.

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We want all the Estonians drinking Thistley Cross. By going to this across cider.co.uk. Like my hair is getting whiter and whiter every day going for the fucking Reed Richards down the side. And I refuse to diet because I'm not that pathetic. I'm not so scared of impending death that I have to lie to myself through either religion or just in the mirror being like,

oh, I'm going to make the ends. It's brown. I'm still 27. I'm old. My body's letting me know. It's fine. You can look quite well read If you go grey as a man

I don't think it will massively suit me Don't get me wrong, I would have preferred more of an intermediate period Between looking young and You don't just want to look instantly bookish No, I don't want to go from teenage comedian to Stuart Goldsmith In the space of six months That's gonna happen though Aye

He pulls off grey well He's fine Tell you who doesn't pull off grey well Schofield He's grey Not that Don't want that fucking hair Don't want that

Grey hair Nah Grey's never bothered me Because I mean I've spent I've done hard time being ginger So grey is like No

That was fucking Raised on the street to me I can't do altitude trained with my hair Cara takes great pride in pointing out how great my

hair gets which is why I can never dye it because I'm like I'm not going to let you know would you shave it off if you started going bald yeah

yeah yeah I would yeah straight away it's the only way and then and then but you'd have to the only way. And then I'd have and then and but you'd have to go to the gym. Every fucking I'd have to go to the gym every day. I'd be kicking in everyone's head who called me bald. If I'm gonna be if I'm gonna be a slap head, I better be able to throw a fucking punch.

You know what? I don't want to be a bald comedian. There's loads. Aye. Name the good ones bill Burr Chappelle's gone there's loads of good club comics they're like the comedy store used to be like a sick line up of bald men I always be like Roger Monk house make gun Sean Mayo in thought he thought Paul Thorne if you say Andy Parsons I'm gonna to throw you out that fucking window I was never going to say Andy Parsons How the fuck did Andy Parsons get on Mock the Week

Stole a living How did he get on Mock the Week for like 14 fucking seasons By just like talking through his nose Oh Just That's Andy Parsons is the reason I hate Middle England Because he was successful

Somewhere Like People were liking him Yeah Aye He just says silly things In a silly voice Did you ever see him live

Doing stand up I never did Yeah You did Yeah No No It's stank of shit

I've watched him do I've watched him do new material I'm like man Go and do old material And watch him get the exact same Fucking reaction Aye He wasn't for me That guy like He wasn't for I've watched him do new material I'm like man go and do old material And watch it get the exact same fucking reaction He wasn't for me that guy He wasn't for anyone

Apart from your grand lesbian friend Aye because he was on that show for a long long time Most of it yeah It was so successful He outstayed fucking Frankie He outstayed fucking Russell Howard Yeah Manfred I know that was

8 out of 10 cats that was 8 out of 10 cats there goes my mind again aye I've spent a lot of this last while being high and as much as I enjoy it

I don't think I'm a stoner I like getting high I don't like living in that pocket of consciousness like you do because you don't do anything when that pocket of consciousness like you do. Because you don't do anything when you're high.

Huh? I can gem, I read, I do work. I reply to emails when I'm high. I'm class crack. I'm like electric banter when I'm stoned. I can really enjoy a film and then immediately forget what happened as soon as I've... Like, there's a couple of times we went to the cinema and watched Dune.

I've got fucking no idea what happened in that film because I was so high watching it. Enjoyed the shit out of it when I sat there, but I just didn't... Like, none of it recorded to my mind, so I need to watch that again. So there's a bunch of stuff I've watched high

that I haven't watched at all that I've thoroughly enjoyed. I watched that Society society of snow on netflix they remade alive which was that story of the fucking uruguayan rugby team that crashed in the andes and were stuck there for way too long mad like you think it was like oh two weeks and then they were found oh no it's fucked it was like like well over two months. And then they were found. Oh, no, it was fucked. It was like well over two months. And they had to walk through the mountains themselves to go and get rescued because they knew

they were just never going to be found. So no one's going to find them. And if they start, like, so they've got to, I assume they've got like a cache of like stuff, like the meals on the flight can be. Nope, nope. Like if they survived Surely these like Little trays of dinners

Are there somewhere Mm-mm Now Does this Uncare that flight Aye What year was it Fucking 70s

Was it Aye So not even And it was It was a flight for Uruguayan Like youth Rugby team

Mm-hmm Like They were smoking on the The one thing I will say About the movie And this is fair enough Because the times were Different back then Right like youth rugby team. Like they were smoking on the place. The one thing I will say about the movie, and this is fair enough because the times were different back then, right? They on day like 10, 11 is when they start making the decision of like,

man, we got to start eating the bodies out there. Like there is food here. We all just disagree what is food, but I'm pissing black. There's nothing like, there's enough water as we want because it's all fucking around us

but we need to fucking eat and they're having these really hard conversations about whether they're going to start eating their friends

cats have still got cigarettes while smoking and they're like I think I think now's the time I'm like how do you still have

because I imagine being trapped at the top of a mountain freezing to death debating about whether to eat your friend I'm like, how do you still have... Because I imagine being trapped at the top of a mountain, freezing to death, debating about whether to eat your friend ass first or head first. You're not going to be content. It's a stressful situation. The guilt-free cigarette,

because you're not thinking about the longevity of your life. You're not thinking about the repercussions on the cancer. You're just enjoying a tab. Oh, yeah. Because you're like, I'm probably not going to neck it until this kicks in. Aye, that would be good. It's proper fucking guilt free smoking

what were they complaining about up there getting the guilt free sick shall we meet or not oh man

if you work it wait by the way I really really recommend the movie society snow it's better than it's better than alive

fucking well done on the remake they absolutely shat on nobody ever needs to watch Alive again. It's been destroyed. It's embarrassing. I don't need to go back and watch that movie to understand.

It's been instantly fucking beaten. It's the gulf between Dark Knight versus fucking George Clooney. That's the gulf. That's what it makes it look like. It's really very good. I haven't seen it live in a very long time me neither

I think I might have even been in my teens when I watched it they made us do it in philosophy to give you the debate of like when is it okay

to eat human beings sorry I died in the crash right I'm the only one that died I'm not eating you're the last person I fucking eat

I'm the only one that's dead then I'll wait I'll wait. I'll wait. Fine. I'll let someone eat you and then when they die of eating you, I'll eat them. Kai fed.

I'm an eating Kai fed meat. Feed them Kai, massage them. Kobe beef. They decided to chop us up and start cooking us, having a barbecue Oh they don't cook them

No no I'm telling you what's happening Yeah this is your Okay okay Right They start cooking us up And then you go Actually that smells alright

Tommy's fucking rumbling And then people are like Literally salivating It's going Oh I'll lush this You're going to have some Danny Right

Alright then Chuck us a What you having Chuck us a Chuck us a bicep. Chuck is a cough. Chuck is an arse. Now, annoyingly, annoyingly, right? Arse will be the tastiest.

Can't eat it. I can't do it. Okay, I can't request Christ's arse. Marbled. Marbled. Can I get his arse, please? You've been waiting for this your whole life. My succulent marbled arse.

It's dripping. dripping dripping of fat because he's been fucking sad most of the time even man I wonder if like my toxic masculinity and my inner child's like my inner bully child's still fear

of being called gay even though it does make a fucking difference means you couldn't eat my ass off the bone yeah like I wonder like I'm still

I'm like it would be the best you say it's better I wouldn't be called a gay you're in the mountain you're about to die because he's cock in fact he's cock

I'm still hungry there's no left I reckon even see thighs as well because here's the funny thing in the movie like there is man I get do they have that conversation? which bits they're going to eat?

no two of the guys like they're like we'll go and start cutting bits off the body and we'll not tell you who it is and we'll not tell you what bit it is like nobody else has to fucking suffer the absolute pain of cutting your, we're all going to do this awful thing to survive, which is eating other people.

And it's the worst thing. But like if to make it, to create more distance, to make it easier for the sick people to be able to stomach it, only two of us are going to go back there, cut off the bits. We'll not tell you who it is.

But, and like early doors. So they're saying like a lucky dip. Lucky dip on which body part and who it is. But they're going in they're saying like a lucky dip lucky dip on which body part and who it is but they're going in and butcher them oh and then by the end i think like the only way i could get through that right doing it like if i was the person cutting off the meat off the bone is to just do like a comic book maniacal laugh while i was doing it just as like an overcompensating For like how fucking barbaric it is Making it cartoonish and trivialised

Distance yourself by Pretending to really be enjoying it What I would do is I would put snow Over their face So it doesn't look anything like my friend But then I would use like stones And other bits and other bits of snow

And like maybe clumps of hair from other people And I would make it look like someone That i disliked just to make it easier yeah yeah are you chopping up sweet little brother man um okay oh because man i'm a picky eater right and I'll try things we've been eating real well for the past two days you've seen me I'm good I like I like when we're on

the Scandinavia trip with Barang because you legitimately try stuff that you know you're not going to like just because somebody's put so much work into making this

the best it can possibly be so you're like alright I don't like mushrooms but I will try them at their very best and then you go alright

still don't like mushrooms yeah i give it a shot oh man being a picky eater is not a fun thing to be so i like i try to do myself the favor of hey man your palate changes every now and again you you know man 10 years ago i didn't like a finger on the arse now i love it we all. It's, it's the same for vegetables. It's the same for seafood. I still, it's just never going to fucking seafood is the beer of food, which is people who like it.

We'll never be able to fathom that. You just, it doesn't matter how you dress it up. It tastes like the sea. How many times you try and like make it taste like strawberries or whatever. You're not going to get it to taste anything other than beer. Yeah. Um,

now you've got this face that you pull, and I was joking about it on my Instagram story last night, but, like, your face isn't one of, like, enjoyment, because this is some of the nicest food we'll ever eat, right? And I'm thoroughly enjoying all of it. Yours is, like, bracing yourself and then relief. You're like, it's not shit. You're like, fuck, of course it's not shit. It's, like, Michelin star food. And you're like, not shit. Yeah, You're like, fuck, of course it's not shit. It's like Michelin star food.

And you're like, not shit. Yeah, but like, man, I go... Carol wouldn't like it. I go, here's the thing. Roe, right? Caviar. Like, I don't... First of all, I don't believe anyone enjoys the taste of fucking caviar.

That's just people being posh, too scared of not being able to fit in looking posh. It's fucking fish eggs. That's disgusting. That's really gross across the fucking board. You didn't like them? No. No.

And I never fucking... Nobody likes caviar. Right? It's a fucking illusion that people do to look rich. That's the thing. Nobody... I wouldn't spend caviar money on caviar. I'd eat it if it's in front of us because it's nice.

Nobody enjoys driving fucking Bugattis have you been in a Bugatti? how do you know that? they're super uncomfortable they're too low to the ground there's no air conditioning

there's no heating there's not a fucking thing there you can't bump up onto the curb to get it onto your drive or whatever even if you've got like a ramp up to your drive you're not getting up a ramp

you're literally on the road you're never bumping up a curb ever it's a status thing you're taking away so much practicality by having a lush car that's what caviar is people just go all right i like this because rich people like this i can i can agree with my fucking kids right fucking kids same with fucking kids nobody likes fucking kids they just do it because all the rich people do all the powerful people yeah

man there's just like you're like okay what's the deal i'm a b-list i'm a b-list hollywood actor how else can i get on that island how else do i get up there you gotta fuck the kids you know what's legit though like you say that status only with caviar i had fucking the idea until we had an abundance last night how good i'm not even gonna say it correctly frois gross foie gras foie gras. Foie gras. Oh, the most... Evil. When did evil taste so fucking good? Why did that goose have to go through so much for me? It just go...

Slapping me lips. They... Because of that torture. Oh, man. It was maple... I would enjoy it more without the evil. You know, if I didn't know what I was eating, I would enjoy it more.

It definitely comes with a side portion of guilt that the goose was fucking force-fed maple syrup so that its liver would taste that good as patty like the fuck is that kind of barbarian shit real cruel amazing proper french real french the only it's real french the only war you can win is against a fucking animal. A torture goose. But man they throat fucked that goose with fucking maple syrup so much. I bet that goose at first was like oh lush this.

When? When? When? Aye. Like that's it is one of the things where I'm like I'll always eat meat and you can and I know he meets wrong blah blah blah blah blah

but I find it really easy to turn a blind eye because man there's also two wars going on that I'm able to turn a fucking blind eye to I'm really good at it

I support Newcastle man I like the Saudis I did some shit with their leg but however it's fine I'll be alright just enjoy the match I'm really good

At just letting atrocities happen Near me, around me As long as they don't directly affect me Then But yeah, foie gras is So Just Just evil

It would be like, and this Particular type of lamb, the reason it's so delicious is because we electrocute it every time it falls asleep, right? It's just, it does something

to the stress of the meat. Every time this lamb is counting sheep, is counting its parents, right? Because it can't, it's not seeing its parents anymore. Just,

we've got these little brain scanners and the second the lamb falls off the seat, we electrocute it back to awake. Why do you think? But you should try the fucking meat. I'd electrocute it back to awake why do you think you should try the fucking meat I'd be like oh my god why do you think it

tears curly yeah why would you fucking do is it good though is it yum a real specific time

but then the only way but then like if you didn't have to see that happening and they go put it in this fancy restaurant which is like what

we do is we fucking separate ourselves from the reality you'd still be fucking Instagramming it and taking enjoying it

and all that it's bad yeah should we be better people no no I'm glad you said that like

no not at all if you hadn't said that it would have been 50-50 why is it why is it my fucking responsibility to be better than the French

it's just basic low bar yeah right this is a basic low bar Yeah, right It's just a basic low bar that we should all be able to get under I'm not I'm not living a lesser life than any fucking Frenchman, that's it. Speaking of Frenchmen I watched Napoleon the other day

and for a man that won so many military victories, is widely considered to be one of the greatest military minds historically why was an hour and 45 minutes of that movie about his fucking bird oh yeah man i did you know according to the movie napoleon was in three battles just three private life oh Oh, my fucking God. Man, he ate pussy under a table a lot. Did he?

Yeah. Like, where else was he eating? Oh, I don't know if he ate pussy. Fucked her under a table. Oh, God. Well, he stood up. Just what a... Ridley Scott, man.

Fucking... The man that gave us Gladiator, right? Amazing film. The man that gave us fucking the alien movies. And then shot the, Prometheus sucked shit, sucked dying shit out of a cancerous fucking arsehole. Napoleon could have been 90 minutes shorter and involved, you know, any of the other fucking,

the battles were fucking amazing. The battles were really, really interesting. The problem with Napoleon as a fucking movie, right, is it's about the French, right? Now, obviously, it's in English, right, because it needs to go to an American audience. So, but they give... They didn't have French accents to the...

They give the French people British accents, even though the French are at war with the fucking Brits, right? Here's a rule, right? You're allowed to do the French accent right? The French have lost enough wars right? over history that you're just allowed to make fun of their accent all the time

Just make them get them a French accent surely Oh make it a really racist one My name is a bullion I have decided to go to war with Nobody cares. Joaquin Phoenix can do that voice. What are the French going to do? What are the French going to fucking do?

They'll have another little riot about it. They'll throw some stones. They'll burn down a couple of cars. And then nothing will happen. Didn't they at some point say Viva la France as well? In an English accent. So they've got an English accent and then they said Viva la France,

which would be, because you've already translated it, that would have to translate back. So they said, Long live France. Aye which would be, because you've already translated it, that would have to translate back. So they said, Long live France. Aye. Ridley Scott, I think,

is slowly losing it and it gives me great fear about the next, you know, he's doing Gladiator again. He's, there's going to be a second Gladiator. Oh, yeah,

you know what, I can get my head around. Gladiator 2. You can't call it Gladiator 2. Why? Well, it's just, it's just a little bit,

like, it's just wrong. Like, you aliens was called aliens it wasn't alien 2 like the next blade runner wasn't blade runner 2 it was blade runner 2049 or whatever like like i think you just need to say gladiator and then like uh gladiators like or just something well that's what i did with the alien i don't think i don't think you go i don't think you go gladiator 2 gladiators that's what he did With the alien I don't think You go I don't think You go gladiator 2 Gladiators That's like Titanic 2

I think gladiators works And it's got that Fucking Irish actor Dude in it Who's Barry Keane No the other one

The one that was In normal people I don't know I've never seen Normal people Oh it's really good Just really good. Lots of, lots of,

what's with Natalie? There's loads of pussy and dick in it. Nice. Aye. Oh, I don't know if there's pussy in it. There's titties in it. Barry Coogan or Keegan or whatever. Keoghan.

Keoghan. He flaps his cock about in Saltburn. Oh, if I had his cock, I'd fucking fuck. Oh, you know what? Can I apologise? Barry Keoghan is in it. I'm a big bastard as is

oh Paul Mescal is the name I was looking for and fucking oh Pedro Pascal

and Denzel Washington absolutely fucking sold now now now

let's play get Kai cancelled this is going to be gladiator 2 from what right Paul Mescal and Barry Keoghan obviously playing gladiator 2 from what right Paul Mescal and Barry Kaelin

obviously the building guard of yours yeah who does Denzel Washington play I don't have the answer here

time appropriate come on now he's a slave you fucking racist he's a slave you piece of shit I'm asking if he's a slave I don't

why don't you ask him that what you don't have the answer no no I just want to get cancelled have you got all I thought you I't have the answer no no it's what you get cancelled you got us all I thought you I thought you liked the only answer

that's the one that that wouldn't have been my first guess what was your first guess I'm sorry I've got proof that it was your fucking first guess

you bugger shit I've set up a game for you as well you know have you I've set up a game to you as well, you know. Have you? Mm-hmm. I've set up a game to see how famous you think you are. I keep getting fucking called from like 0200 numbers,

like, like going, oh, it's 02 ringing. And you're like, I'm not even with 02, like basic scam. Like,

you're just taking a punt on it being 02. But like, I'm getting them like daily now where it's just someone like, oh, you know, it's just about that accident that you've had. They're not even making an effort. like you're just taking a punt on it being or two but like i'm getting them like daily now where it's just someone like you know it's just put that accident that you've had they're not even making an effort i hate it i hate i hate just there's just it's it's it's this is why old people have to die because there gets a bit where they're just so stupid that you can just rob them

of everything and then and then the rest of the world becomes stupid on average because we allowed the world to just outpace pensioners and the average iq goes down because you stop learning new things at the age of like fucking 50 oh i saw somebody uh lost a comedian lost the instagram account because they followed the link that promised them a free blue tick good good devastating that's what you get you fucking idiot devastating blow and most people's like accounts i get taken over on facebook's like uh see who has visited your profile and you're like oh i wonder who's been looking at little old me and you click the link and you're like oh every time every time that someone's like sending you messages hey it's clearly not from

them you're like oh you clicked that yeah oh you fool oh my god is this video from you last night being absolutely mental well god i've not done anything fun in 25 years but i might as well double check just in case i'm glad you got fucking hacked you dumb cunt yeah so my my game for you i mentioned it on on a previous podcast, is that we're going to find out how famous you think you are. Okay. Important clarification just for my ego here, right? Not good at social media. I'm going to try and be better.

I'm going to try and actually be a bit better at social media this year, right? We're going alone enough Instagram followers. Yeah, that's fair. It's the one I'm most active on, so. Scotland and Aston Villa's John McGinn oh he's definitely got more he's definitely got more

how many do you have? I have it's over 400,000 417k 417,000 417k 417,000 John McGinn

I'm going to guess because Scotland have qualified for two major tournaments John McGinn has a lot to do with that Scotland are as popular

as they've ever been like there's a lot more engagement with Scotland and the football yeah so he's a hero that I've known in about 20 years yeah he's a hero amongst the football yeah so he's a hero I've known him

about 20 years yeah he's a hero amongst the Scots he's also been really good for Aston Villa and I know they're doing well this season

so I don't think he's up to a million but I would say he's probably closer to 500k than I am he's on 338,000 you've got about

well well well approximately 70,000 more followers. Oh man. Oh my God. Maybe I can be friends with John McGinn. And I'll also give him

a cheeky follow. Daniel. What did you do? I went and clicked on follow on a photograph didn't I? Hold on what? I was thinking

I'll give him a cheeky follow. It's a fucking screen cap. It's a fucking screen cap. Obviously I screen capped a couple to yeah past you you're an old man okay so I got that one wrong

okay uh-huh um that by laughs oh he's definitely got more because even though he would have

gone off for a bit I know I know he's sober now when was his pump his pump was 2012 yeah and then then he got cancelled so When was his pump? His pump was 2012 Yeah And then Then he got cancelled

So Instagram was a big thing In 2012 It wasn't like he's Got this pre-Instagram fame No no But he was Yeah he was big on Instagram He was big on Twitter

I'm pretty sure he did Vine And stuff back when Vine was Still out And I know since then He's gone sober Which fair fucking Fair fucks to you I mean he's

Made it his personality, which every person in the world agrees. We love sober people. Well done for doing that, but shove it up your fucking hoop if you're going to preach it all the time. He's sober. He's doing a bit better.

Oh, he's got to be north of a million, I'd say, or maybe 750k. You've got that kind of right. He's 818,000 but I was a bit shocked at that

because I just hadn't heard about him for a while like I didn't know well he finally did the right thing and admitted he wasn't a stand-up

comedian and then just went I'm just going to be an online personality which is fair enough comedians get very fucking territorial when people who

aren't comedians decide to try and be comedians or use comedy as like a stepping stone into becoming a TV presenter or a fucking personality or whatever. This is why you'll get a lot of, and I'm very, very guilty of it.

I regularly badmouth people who I think use my fucking art form as a stepping stone to something lesser. It comes with its own difficulty, though, if you come into stand-up and you've already got a following, whether it's off social media or off wrestling or off like a TV show or something like that like you're literally cutting your teeth in something that you might be brilliant at eventually you're doing it in everyone's view you're not

just like doing it in the like in the open mics in front of a bunch of people that'll not even remember your name tomorrow. Oh man so I've got a friend of mine who will remain nameless at the moment because he is unbelievably fucking famous to a particular like group of people like he's huge uh he will be on the podcast one day but he is the reason me and him are talking he's getting in comedy he wants to do he wants to transition from what he used to do into stand-up comedy and he could sell out

the apollo uh four times quite comfortably in under a day and do a show where all of his audience would laugh at what he did. But I said to him. But imagine that many people turned up to your first gig. To be fair, I turned up to my first gig with 150 people who knew who I was. Yeah. Because it was friends. It was people I played football with, people I worked with at previous workplaces, people I went to school with. It was like early days of Facebook yeah so like everybody that I could reach on

Facebook like in 2008 mmm company gig and I was about 150 people who knew who I was so that was like a different start to most but then obviously I had a gun run and cut me teeth properly mmm this kid who's trying his best, he's done Brighton Dome by himself. So he's already doing full shows? Yeah, he did. And then, yeah, yeah, and he's doing a tour, but I said to him, I'm like, man, if you want, because he's now, he's like, I really like stand-up.

I want to change what I'm doing. I want to get into stand-up. I'm like, if you want to get into stand-up, you want to be considered a real stand-up, and in order to do that, you have to go and find a neutral audience first, and you have to perform to them. So should we get them to come and do some open mics with us? And like do a bit of coaching as well?

Do some Red Rolls together? Do Summer Hall? Yeah, I mean he's got some gigs coming up. The next few weeks are going to be interesting for him because he's got some gigs coming up. I'm very excited to see how they go also in a very fucking weird way. It's like a real,

I don't know what the, a mirror or a juxtaposition point in my fucking career. Like when I started out, I was always looking for advice from older comedians. Frankie Boyle was very nice to me at the start. Yeah, Ed Byrne. Ed Byrne,

I was looked after. Fucking, Rob Brydon was an absolute diamond, as was Michael McIntyre. I didn't see them regularly, but they were absolutely helpful in my career put good words for me in places like that to now get to be that was my guy like that yeah to get to now be that for someone else is good but also I'm really really bad at giving advice because I'm like man you're infinitely more famous

than I am I haven't done the circuit properly in like fucking seven years. Take all of my advice with a massive pinch of salt. Because like, man, and also it might not work for you. Yeah, you don't even know what the climate's like now, is it? Because it used to be like, oh, you do your open mics at fucking Jongles, you know, open spots,

and then you get like a bunch of work off the back of that. Like, I don't know what the route to professional is anymore. I knew what my route to professional was. I don't know if that applies now yeah and and professionals probably video everything at the back of the room clip it or put it online like that is probably the route to pro now yeah yeah and also like a big part of my career and a big part of many comedians from my generation was this toxic thing of god we just want to be considered real comedians it's very important to be considered a real comedian so what you also do is because that's an important desire

for you you also then gatekeep on what the definition of a real comedian is and it can be very sort of and that means you get your 20 minutes locked in that's me 20 i don't step away from it it's airtight bulletproof it works in the hardest room and you just lose all creativity because you're like you've got this product that works and you're not willing to deviate from it part of me is just

saying to him maybe don't take being a real comic seriously like I've pursued my entire life trying to be considered a fucking real comedian

and you know and I'm sure there are plenty of fucking people out there who don't consider me a real comedian but I've got

my career just don't don't get me a real comedian, but I've got my career. Just don't get hung up on shit. The next one is, are you or are you not more famous than Hot Water Comedy Club? Ooh, now, now, okay. So they're unbelievably good social media. They've got Paul Smith

Who's like The synergy between them They're responsible for each other's rise Yeah yeah yeah They come up famous together I love Paul Smith's fucking success story Completely and utterly ignored By every single fucking Avalon

Off the curb run TV show Never done any of those shows Bigger and more famous than fucking 95% of the country. Me and Natalie watched a 15-minute clip of his on DMT while on Mushrooms. It was fucking mint. Spending time with someone that's actually quite soothing when they're talking and talking about the thing

that you're partially experiencing right now. What a class experience that was. Listen to Paul Smith talk hallucinations while hallucinating.ul smith is definitely definitely more famous than i am not globally but definitely his accent will hold him back hot water you know what i'm i'm going i'm going to say I'm going to say yes They're just so good at social media They've got so many good comedians on their fucking roster That they're allowed to

They're going to be as good as a fucking meme account They're also responsible for One of the fastest growing podcasts right now With Jamie Hutchinson and Tony Carroll The Hot Water Green Room So they're getting extra eyes Then almost definitely They're 468 So you're kind of in the same bracket yeah there's theirs as well so they're getting like extra eyes yeah then almost definitely yeah

they're 468 so you're all kind of in the same bracket okay next up Troy Hawke of the Greatest Guild our best friend

Milo McCabe yeah absolutely Milo must have overtaken me fucking last year because again if somebody's regularly posting

the oh and like he went super mainstream in that, like, the Man City team. Do you know the story with him getting on the Man City team coach?

He was meant to do Greet Us Guild for the Man City players to come onto the coach for the Open Top Bus Tour for winning the treble. So Jack Grealish and everyone's getting on.

Erling Haaland to Kevin De Bruyne, like fucking, some of the best footballers of our generation and Jack Grealish. And then... And then... to brian like fucking the some of the best footballers of our generation and jack realish and then and then he's at the door but it starts getting a little bit like testy there's a fucking public on there and all that and they're just fucking shepherding them onto the bus

and the bus drives off and all of a sudden my love mccabe is the only person not of the Man City fold that's on the Man City open top bus and just maintained character and chatting to

Calvin Phillips just fucking had conversations with the Man City team and then I've seen recently he's doing the

Premier League darts and chatting to Michael Van Gerwen he's doing interviews sitting interviewing

them but not in an Ali G kind of way because it's his own character, but like in that kind of, staying in character, and giving them loaded questions,

setting them up to be funny. Yeah, yeah, Milo's got to be bigger than me, now, and also, I just, I gotta say,

there are very few people in the world, I'd be able to say this about, like, if Elliot Steele, who I love so very much, he is my boy, if Elliot Steele ever became more famous than me, it would be,

I would be, it would fracture your friendship a little bit. No, no, no. I would definitely be proud of him, but I would have to do a lot of growing to be the bigger person as I should be because I'm older than him.

I'm more experienced than him. Like, and because he's younger than me, there would always be this bit of like, okay, I'm as an older comic, I'm watching myself be overtaken by a younger generation. I hope I, and I believe it will happen one day because he's he's so good at standing up now

Milo I do not begrudge if he gets bigger than me because he's been grafting for so fucking long and the fact that he uh he tore down his career and built it back up like mindfully he was doing a character called Phil Berto that smashed at them clubs that we're talking about the junglers the airtight 20 minutes he was playing the comedy store in the comedy store wouldn't book his new character

because would give you the spots off your old character he's like I don't do that anymore and they're like you're gonna have to come in from an open spot

and he's like sure and he like he literally just started his career again like in about 2014 just started his career again and I mean was about like 2014 just started his career again and I mean

there's no way he would have reached the success that he had on his previous character that worked on a 20 minute set I fucking hated the character Troy Hawk

for the first three years I did because it was part of like the first iteration of Troy was like he was doing a character show with like

four different characters Troy was one of them and Troy was the weakest out of the four I thought and Milo was like that's doing a character show with like four different characters Troy was one of them and Troy was the weakest out of the four I thought and Milo was like that's the one I'm going to start because there's actually one of the characters

that was like a Scrabble champion and he wore like a wife beater top and a headband and he'd be the Scrabble guy he was quite like working class

and he actually just took elements from the Scrabble guy and put the put the like kind of that mind in Troy Hawke. It sucked.

And then it was about 2018 or 19 was the first, because Mano's a really good writer and he writes so much more than any of us. He's probably generally one of the most hardworking writing comedians. The one lanes of the Greatest Guild that are like, the ones that he's written and prepared

and he's like got them in his back pocket ready to use are some of the best written, just like single lanes ever. So my, yeah, so Troy Hogg, more famous. I'm going to guess at this point, maybe just north of half a mil.

Yeah, 545,000. I'm fucking good at this. You are good at mil. Yeah, 545,000. I'm fucking good at this. You are good at this. Now, Knaiva from Day 12. The rapper who rapped in two-hour longsane M&M for many years.

I'm going to guess, because I mean, I'm so far out of the fucking loop on this. I imagine it's been years since he's done anything. I imagine, like he wasn't the biggest one of any of those on this I imagine it's been years since he's done anything I imagine like he wasn't the biggest fan of any of those

things I'm going to guess that I've got quadruple what he's got you've got approximately eight times more than what he's got I'm catching him 54.3 and he has husband before MC

I like that. Good for him. That's really nice. I love it. But that's when you've absolutely given up your status as rapper, where you're like, I'm a husband first. He's in his 50s now. He's met his money.

He's not that ball at it with social media, but you know. Oh, that's really sweet. But add on, add on. He's got MC before father. Oh, okay. Husband, MC, father. All right. Linda Lusardi.

Who? Your dad has definitely wanked over her. He's the boomers, page three model. Okay, let me Google her without hopefully... She was, you know how like In your generation Linda Wasabi Yes Linda Wasabi

Don't google her because you might find out the answer So I'm going to put it this way Lassardi I'm just going to go straight to images here Okay So this is you know anybody from that generation When I was a kid anybody who'd done the Ooh like Scarlett Johansson you know, anybody from that generation, when I was a kid, anybody who'd done the, ooh, like, Scarlett Johansson, you know, like, she's the goat.

Scarlett Johansson. Good for her at that age. Good for her. That's when she was young. Do you know what we did the other day? We brought up the wrong Kate Adams. Did we? Kate Adams.

We brought up, like, so we were talking about the game I played at Christmas with celebrities game and there's one of the loose women it's called Kate Adams and we brought up some random model

called Kate Adams didn't show the picture at the camera and both phoned over so the people watching the podcast just sort of just get one of the loose women

and go how about how about great so Linda Lussardi is the So let's just get one of the loose women going, how about, how about? Great. So Linda Lussati is the go-to hottie for anyone from my dad's generation from when they were in their 20s and 30s. Okay. I haven't heard of her,

but that doesn't mean anything. There's no way that she's stomped. Does she still do stuff now? I'm assuming she's not. Contact work inquiries. There's a link. Oh, hold on. There's a link that she's stopped. Does she still do stuff now? Is she like, I'm assuming she's not. Contact work inquiries. There's a link. Oh, hold on. There's a link for a contact.

In her Instagram. Oh, then she's lower than me. If you've got booking inquiries in your fucking description, I'm confident I've got more. Do you not have booking inquiries in your description? No. No, that's desperation. If on your social media, if as a...

I think so, if you're a model. Abso-fucking-lutely. If you're a model, the first thing people want to know is how they booked you for that thing. And they should be able to Google your fucking agent, right? If people cannot fucking find your agent and go... If they're going through you, if you're telling... Nah, I'm...

If I ever see anyone, anyone, right, who's got booking details, I'm like, you fucking juggler. Seven million. 130,000. Absolutely. You know you've made it if you've got no more followers than Linda Lussari. I've been wanked to life.

Okay, that's good. Before we go, should we discuss the really funny tragedy that happened in Iceland Someone Fell in a volcano They didn't fall in a volcano And how did we celebrate We had a volcano in Stockholm Celebrate

So there's obviously lots of volcanic activity In Iceland at the moment As there always is But there's like a particular bit Where there's obviously lots of volcanic activity in Iceland at the moment, as there always is. But there's like a particular bit where there's big, the ground is split open. Floor's lava. Well, so because the Icelandic have such a weird musical accent and a weird sense of humour, it's very hard to know when they're telling you something, whether it's good news, bad news or, or non news at all. So we get there and all of our promoters in the backstage are like, did you hear about

what happened today? I'm like, no. I'm like, a man fell into the crack. Like, are you about to laugh? Like, is this funny or is this a tragedy? They're like, he fell. I'm like, if they found the body, they haven't found the body you know is this is this funny is this a tragedy what emotion am i meant to be experiencing because your your tone of voice isn't letting me know is he alive well they haven't found his corpse why are you saying corpse i'm like did it fall into lava they're like are you all sad right now is this a national tragedy or is this like a source of humor like is this is this darwin awards no i feel like that because if you fell into a volcano i'm imagining the volcano isn't just this bubbling pit of lava

like a soup with like glooping bubbles coming up right because if it's like that the air is probably so far like you probably can't breathe and it's so hot to be near it i imagine that it's like just rocks and it's a mountain accident. It's like somebody falls off a cliff, splats off the rocks because you fall into a volcano. It's implied that you fall into the lava. Yeah.

Probably didn't fall into the lava. That's why I kept saying to them, they kept on acting like there was a chance this guy was still alive. I'm like, I don't know if you've played computer games from the 90s, but falling in lava is the end so he basically would have fell in the lava and went and lost loads of hit points

and then like eventually lose all your head points and die he didn't fall into lava he fell down a hole there was like an underwater like one of the magma chasms was then filled with like water and he fell into that um and they haven't found i mean he's definitely he's definitely dead boiled he's deaf no i think would have been i don't think it's because the magma's not in there anymore i don't know how hot the water is like it's not an active tunnel in that aspect um but uh a very icelandic way to die very on brand you shouted i can't swim as he fell into the lava. It's like... First of all, I'm pretty sure that's how you bury people in Iceland.

Because Iceland is not a religious country, I do not believe. I don't think it is. I don't feel like it is. I don't feel like it's awash with churches. Any country that has free education tends to not be religious really good free education if you if you have an educated society an educated society like how do you mean free education like everyone gets free education right well oh i meant like a higher sort of level sorry not like primary school yeah yeah yeah yeah. Like Scotland has free education and

the younger generations... Oh, no, no, no. Never once been religious. Just Glasgow. It has nothing to do with religion. Yeah, we absolutely were religious ages and ages ago and then we got free education and now we're not a religious country anymore. There is a direct correlation between education

and believing in God. I do feel like you've got quite a big catholic protestant thing going on though yeah only only only in glasgow historically people don't know what it's about and also no man i think you could comfortably walk down the street in fucking glasgow and struggle to find people who actually believe like they are christians in the same way that like Jews are Jewish you know you know ethnic Jews who like Arish Afir he's a Jew ethnically but religiously nothing to do with Judaism doesn't believe in fucking any of it whatsoever like I think you

get a lot you'll get a lot of people with the cross and fucking religious tattoos because their dad had religious fucking tattoos but do they believe in like all of the Muslims that we've drank with yeah yeah yeah all the all the Muslims Muslims that we've drank with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the Muslims I've gotten stoned with and done coke with. Those types of Muslims. We're like, look, on the surface to my parents, I'm a Muslim. In real life,

ugh, aye. Also, they've got racism in Iceland. Which of course they do. Of course they do. But like, the way these countries are pitched to us, Sweden and Iceland and Norway, especially when you

think about them in the parts of the world that we're from, from the UK and in America, it's always pitched as like they're the Canada of Europe. Very accepting. Very accepting. Very open. Sweden is the gun murder capital of Europe. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. That's recent. I had used gun merger capital of Europe.

I didn't know that. I didn't know that. That's recent. I had used down as like a use, speaking directly to Sweden here. It's like God tier, somewhere above first world. Yeah.

As a country. But, it's just got a good PR campaign. Well, no, I think they're going through, they've got their far right coming through now because like all the gun related crimes are

it's gang related and the gangs are not like it's not Aryan people are doing it's not the blonde hair blue eyed Swedes it's it's it's the

different immigrant groups that have come through over the years crime is from your foreigners which breeds so that's why we

were like oh that's so accepting and they're like come on in and then the crime goes up and they're like, come on in. And then the crime goes up and you're like, mm.

Orcs. Yeah. You can't call them orcs. Uruk-hai. Uruk-hai. We've got to get to the gig. Yeah, sure. Do we have anything else to report?

Man fell in a volcano. We've been cryogenically frozen. We've been on the gig. Yeah, sure. Do we have anything else to report? Man fell in a volcano. We've been cryogenically frozen. We've been on the food tour of Scandinavia. I think so. We're going to get fat. Yep. But like, in a good way.

All right, I guess we'll see you somewhere else in Sweden and Norway, cunts. Bye. you