Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Pikachu Queef

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

The boys land in Los Angeles and Muggins instantly spins out his body clock. Cream admits Discord is the technology that has left him behind and made him feel like a boomer. They realise the California driving requirements are far more dangerous than their gun laws. #3   Subscribe via Patreon to receive early access, an additional episode every week, entry to the new discord server and a host of other perks, not to mention the encouragement and validation it gives us with every new member.

Sloss and Humphries on the road! Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin', livin' the dream That's our intro Fuckin' muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head that makes you laugh Woohoo! They said it can't be done! Are we in the same seats?

That's hack Ah, muggles! Accidental rim job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or am I just being cynical? Just muggled it up on fuckin' Mugglepedia! Where have you been since 9-11? Oh

Ha ha Laughing at? You banging your head It's going to be the first time I do it No Well yeah It was the first time you did it Yeah

So yeah I do think that'll be the first time you do it Unless you've been doing it before I came into the room And you're just trying to cover it up I understand how reckless my words were just now. I understand how reckless it was banging my head as soon as I sat down. Yeah. But I fucked it, Daniel.

Man, I don't know how you are so unbelievably shit at napping. Like such a simple. I'm really good at it. That's the problem. No, you're not. I'm putting some spin on this. You're the worst napper the best

nope record holder no because that's not that's not how you measure a good napper I did set an alarm for when

right I went to bed at 4 uh huh p.m and I set an alarm for 5 uh huh and then then when i went off i was like the fuck you doing i've got nowhere to be and i turned it off and i woke up at 11 p.m fucking stupid cunt there's no that's no time because it's it's not the morning but it's not even the morning uk time it's not like i've stayed on UK time or I've adjusted to LA time. I've just went somewhere in the middle that's worthless to us for the rest of this trip and for when I get home.

Yep. I'm on a worthless body clock. Yep. Because I'm so good at napping. You're not good at napping. I'm exceptional at napping. Did you have a nap yesterday? No, no.

I'm hard as nails. You just powered through? Aye. That weed was good. Yeah. Like a really productive weed.. That weed was good. Yeah. Like a really productive weed. We got picked up from the airport. Productive weed?

You just told us you had a seven hour fucking nap. Aye. Got shit done. But you know, I come in and notice that I've hung all my stuff up in the wardrobe. Ugh, what, like an alcoholic? Wait, until I cleared this thing, I was using these shelves.

I've got stuff on my bedside. There's nothing in my bags. I've took everything out of my bags. That's a very... And moved into the hotel room. That's a very middle-aged thing to do. Because I was going to live out my bag for four days. The normal way.

But then I got in high. I was like, I'm going to have a nap in a minute, but before I do, I'm going to unpack nap in a minute But before I do I'm gonna unpack everything And I've got my clothes Hanging up I think I think that's self love that Yeah

Do you also think Ironing your socks Is self love Nah Right well It's in the same fucking boat No it's not It absolutely is

If you were on holiday Right now with your wife Yeah Having a four day trip Four days I would only unpack because she told me to uh-huh but like there's a reason to tell her to do this there's a reason we only do it when we're with them it's because they know how to live and we are fucking slobs don't they marry

does as a projectIP a WAP I was like why don't you respect my opinion I saw what you married you dumb bitch how could I respect you my wife only ever married my potential oh good I'm glad you married a lot then I try to live up to it

very very incrementally like don't do it all at once don't become the person she deserves immediately well it'd be like you know when you're playing the old pokemon games pokemon red or blue sometimes like you would just focus on one pokemon and they'd be like level fucking 40 and by the time you're at the third gym and you're just destroying things left right and center that you know pokemon wasn't fun then. Game gets boring. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I've enjoyed my career so much because

I never had like a boom and a plateau. It's always just been casual growth. You talking about me? Remember that boom and plateau that totally rocked your world? Remember that?

Aye. I've had several. That's what my career is. Boom, plateau, boom, plateau. Mine's just been steady away. Right. Just incrementally on the way up. I think, I know, I think like shock and awe,

absolutely fuck off for three years. Shock and awe, absolutely fuck off for four years. That's a good way to do it. That's a good way to do it. Aye. Just level up, like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. It is like leveling up. Like you've had a green mushroom

and then you're just like this is class da da da da da and then you're like is anything else going to happen I don't know I've been playing this

for a bit yeah it's like in Dungeons and Dragons like once you get like beyond level 9 it takes ages to level up to level 10

you go through levels 1 through 3 what 5 sessions I've never really gotten past level 3 in a D&D campaign nah ages to level up to level 10. You go through levels one through three, what, five sessions? I've never really gotten past level three in a D&D campaign. No. I've never hung around long enough. I mean, I've been pretty reckless

with my characters, in fairness. And I do turn over characters in an alarming rate during a campaign. You do, yeah. Yeah. Life is disposable in D&D. Well, and some people like me would say and in real life i have been sad for my losses like that time yeah my little hermit guy fell out of a tree

yeah that was just bad luck though i just lost every roll on the way down and then i was with two selfish people who um downed their own portion instead of rescuing me. What did you do after 11 p.m.? What did I do after 11 p.m.? I posted the podcast. Right. I spoke to my wife on the phone for an hour.

Okay. You know what? I didn't assume any movement until about half one because I lay in bed just trying to make it right. I've had a shower. I've been down for breakfast. Yeah. Bored. I've been listening to a podcast

about Israel and Palestine. Oh aye. Uh huh. So far I think it's good. Very informative. I don't want to I don't want to I don't want to suggest it in case he takes a fucking big turn

from one side or another. And I've pledged my allegiance by saying I listen to it. On the fourth episode, the long, long episodes as well, it's called Fear and Loathing in New Jerusalem by Daryl Cooper, who's on the Martyr Made website. Because I remember trying to listen to it five years ago on his website, but he only had it on his website. So you had to have your phone open to listen to it.

And then it just appeared on Spotify, because he clearly was just like, oh, fuck, people want to hear about this. He's making money off it now. I think so. Would he be on Spotify? No idea. We haven't made a penny off Spotify.

Have we not Nah I can't imagine I imagine you'll be Big big Big dogs If you're watching on Patreon You can listen on Spotify now If

If you're listening on Patreon Cause that's a Natalie doesn't enjoy Listening on the Patreon app She just says It's a shite user interface Oh really why I don't know

I don't listen to anything on it Okay So But she's just like oh spotify is so much better like if one episode finishes it'll go into the next it's a lot of things they had and maybe it's the rewind functions or something or like maybe it's the off-screen usage of like rewind in 15 seconds i don't i don't know but she she's like i'd love to be able to listen to the patreon bonus episodes on spotify and i figured out how to do it and i've put the instructions on patreon so if you want to listen

to the period episodes on spotify you can do it now so i've been doing that i've also been figuring out how our parents can get into the discord okay without an invite link right because if you if you come in by connecting to a patron you've got I gotta tell you discord is one of those things where I'm just like it makes me feel old

I never get it I don't understand it at all I because we use it to talk to each other when we're playing gloomhaven but you just click

one thing and then you're in a voice chat there that I can do the fact that like each discord group has its own fucking forums,

which are like different fucking people. I'm like, how have you put Reddit inside of MSN Messenger and made it four times as complicated? Yeah. I can't. I feel so fucking... I'm such a boomer with it. Aye.

So we were playing King of Tokyo. We're fucking total nerds, by the way. I love it. Like I totally embrace it. But we're on boardgame.com playing King of Tokyo with Sid and Rooney. And he sent us a Discord link to join the Discord. And then when I followed it, it made a sign in as a guest

and I've actually got Discord. So I've got a username. And I just don't know how to follow that link into my app. I can only follow it to, like, i've played this like i've been in this discord chat three times now for three games at the king of tokyo and every single time i just feel like an old man setting the vcr yeah and i'm like how can i not just be on my account how does status typing in people's names not bring whatever chats you are with them up i just i can't do any of it that's why i'm sort of like there's part of me that misses being into like pc gaming and stuff um and also just like

gaming in general online i think i'm beyond shite now i think the the quality and other players has gone up so drastically and i've learned fuck all that there would be no enjoyment in it for me i noticed that with the last couple of releases of call of duty that i can't keep up with the youngins you were never good and i but i was always having fun it stopped being fun it stopped being fun they got it was like turned up to a fucking mma gym with no skills at all and just being put in sparring with the with the professional athletes yeah it's like oh right I can't do this anymore. I think you should be able to opt out of playing with French teenagers Aye. Oh you should have

like a lower age limit on who you play against Yeah. There should be like old folk home lobbies on all of these things. Yeah. Just for like what's your favourite game when anyone who says Halo 2 just like alright you old cunt here you go. This is where you go play. What's yours? Roblox Alright you go into the fucking gold platinum league and you go little

minecraft boy you'll fucking kill all of those old men what is roblox i don't know have you seen it yet because i heard milo's kids were talking about it and then it um it popped up on like you know when the playstation's trying to push stuff at you when you're in the playstation store start uh pushing Roblox? Is that just something that we'll just never need to know? Nope. It's not for us. No, it's not for us.

It's like any adult that plays Minecraft. I'm just like, hmm. See. I'm like, if it's with your kids, sure. If it's with your kids that are blood related to you, it's absolutely fine for you as an adult to play that game with your kids. If they're not your blood relatives

and you're playing with kids, jail. It's only not having children that stops me playing with Lego. Yeah. So that said, I reckon I would really enjoy Minecraft, but I wouldn't touch it as just a lone adult. I don't.

I played Minecraft a little. I just didn't fucking didn't get it man is it not just building stuff for blocks yeah so but like you can also build like i don't know traps and mazes and i just couldn't give i guess i guess whatever autism i have isn't the autism that makes you really enjoy that game right which is a shame because all the freaking freaks I know love it and have the best time oh yeah I loved stardew valley that was good that was a good game for just like just creating I was like the cannabis of computer games it was just very chill and mellow you know what it was for me it was like in a good alternative to doom scrolling

yeah i feel like just getting up and watering my plants and picking some things and then going to the cave and fight with some bats like hangover fuel you hung over you don't want to think too much i felt like we started your valley i could just tend to be garden name all your animals really horrible names mm-hmm all right starve them yeah it's like on a little alley was my friend Alistair was playing Pokemon

again and he's like they don't let you name your Pokemon swear words anymore but it's a single player game nah it wouldn't let us

so it's like what do they like come on man that's not if I want to if I want to call my fucking Pikachu queef let me call my Pikachu queef

like it's it's just for me man say Pikachu queef again Pikachu queef also by the way I'm definitely not calling my Pikachu queef like the things I would call my Pokemon are just the worst things like you know how people like delete my fucking porn history when I die so nobody knows what I masturbated to, delete every Pokemon game I ever saved because that's not... Bad news. Oh.

Did you use the N-word? Post-hummously cancelled for the names of some of my Pokemon. Did you listen to the podcast with me and Mark Nelson? I didn't know you did one. Did you not? No. When you were on one of your weddings, I was telling him,

so they've already heard it That I Called my horse Spatchcock On Red Dead Redemption And it fucking Wouldn't let us

Because of the word cock Red Dead Rockstar Games Sorry you're hearing this For the second time Listener But Daniel you're hearing this For the first time

Grand Theft Auto's Rockstar Games Wouldn't let me swear And I feel like i had to make signals off them coins i you know remember when the i think when the connect came out that short-lived fucking thing for from microsoft was like oh it's kind of like the wee but your body's the controller i would sit there and it was a camera it was fine on the switch the me no m.i.i fine on the switch the me no m.i.i no no the connect on the xbox okay yeah i don't think i did that one right well anyway it was a camera that sat there and i was playing fifa

whatever fifa was at the time fifa 10 fifa 11 doing career mode and obviously FIFA is a terribly made game hasn't been good since before seven But just like like like heroin this lace with fence. No, you're just like who cares? I'm an addict get it into my body I don't care how dangerous for me. I don't care how little they've improved it the fact they've objectively made it worse I'm a dirty I had to get this people into my system You get angry because it's fucking rigged and it's got scripting in this stuff and i would lose games and then get messages from the board of directors in the game telling me that my touchline uh attitudes and and demeanor was unacceptable i'm like what the fuck is this game fucking talking about i heard you swearing because it heard me swearing through the fucking thing by the way that isn't an option that you opt in for.

They're like, oh, that's the fucking default. We're not going to let anyone swear in the comfort of their own fucking living room. I can't imagine what nerdy-ass fucking boardroom where somebody sat down and was like, shall we, what should we do for this new FIFA? Shall we increase the AI? No, too much work? No.

Should we put any effort into career mode at all? Make it better in any way? No, no. Doing that? Okay. Should we change free kicks for absolutely no reason again? Yeah. They've only just got used to the last one. Let's change it for no fucking reason. Any other suggestions? Can we make it so they

don't swear in the privacy of their own living room? Oh, brilliant, Stephen. that is amazing, that is absolutely amazing let's make being at home like being at school, this is fucking class so did everybody kick off about that? I don't fucking know did it affect the game? I got fucking fired before the Champions League final

so you were actually doing well in your campaign as well and you got fired for swearing because that doesn't even happen in football no So you were actually doing well in your campaign as well Yes And you got fired for swearing Yes Because that doesn't even happen in football No The bad stuff that doesn't happen in football Oh, Mourinho wasn't even fucking fired for being sexist So did you get fired for swearing

When you were on the touchline with your cock out half the time Jerking off, aye Pausing the game to masturbate Pausing for a while Let you off with that Actively encouraged it Well I was playing as Chelsea Remember Chelsea

Yeah Old flame They bring up your ex On the podcast They've got loads of Pedo scandals In the past as well Chelsea

Aye They've not been great Nah And racism as well Racism Lots of racism Sexism General bigotry

Yeah And also just having The worst chance of any fans Yeah We really do Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea

Yeah The Chelsea fans are really the Pokemon of fans They can only say their own name Yeah There's no No creativity Because Is Chelsea quite

Like affluent area of London as well? I think so. Is it like the Chelsea Flower Show and the Chelsea Pensioners? Made in Chelsea. Those are all post-works. Made in Chelsea. Aye. And why are you such scumbags?

Well, because of course rich people are racist. But I thought it was like a street-level form of racism. I thought it was like hooligan-ish Is it not? I don't know if we're hooligan I don't I'm not sure But it wasn't a video of

Chelsea fans not letting a black guy on the tube I think so yeah Aye Aye get away from them Not great Fine I'll just go support Glasgow Rangers instead That's Aye Get away from them Not great Fine I'll just go support Glasgow Rangers instead

You know what If you judge If you judge any fan base By the worst of them Yeah It's not good No Like

I decringe at the behaviour Newcastle fans sometimes Like Punching horses Aye Wearing towels on their head Come on Wearing towels on their head

That was This club had to release a statement Just asking kindly For people not to wear towels on their head, come on. Wearing towels on their head, that was, this club had to release a statement just asking kindly for people not to wear towels on their head. Could you not all celebrate the blood money in that particular way? It just feels and also, Can we expect the blood money with a bit of dignity? Could some of you stop,

we don't want to say browning up because we're not sure whether it's just spray tan or not, whether you're trying to look like that Or whether it's you trying to endear yourself But if it is to endear yourself to the Saudis Stop doing that, if it is tan Also maybe stop doing that, it'll never look good Nobody believes that you're getting that much sun

In the north east of England That was one of my most controversial moves Was to fake tan up and go To a Halloween party as a suicide bomber Yeah I mean that, that's... That's very Justin Trudeau of you. That was very, like, I didn't know I was going to become a stand-up comedian. How old were you?

22, 23. Something like that. So it was the rugby club's Halloween party. And I was purposefully... How deep into the war in Iraq where we were waiting for a try oh yeah would it have been it would have been probably about 2003 also like fucking 22 years post 9-11 and you're going as a suicide bomber if you've brought it was topical door that's not the word I would have

used the war on terror was topical And I Didn't just I took like These big fuses from the sports centre As the electrical thing And like Mask and tape loads of like Red and blue cables Like from the top and the bottom

And I put them on this like Army weapons style belt Around my chest And Got a taxi With an actual bomber jacket on i almost don't want to ask this but what color was your taxi driver i was ashton i was with a weight okay yeah yeah Okay. Yeah. Yeah, they hadn't came in and taken our jobs yet. In their words, not mine. I was like, the airport, please?

And my argument at the time about growing up was I used fake tan off the shelf that half of Ashton are wearing right now on a night out. So I am just putting fake tan on the same that half of Ashton are wearing right now on a night out. Yeah. I am just putting fake tan on the same as everybody else, but straw man, straw man. Well, no.

And also with intent, like the people browning up with this spray tan, they're doing it to make it look like they were, went on holiday to the sun. Yeah. Whereas I didn't want to be mistaken for the IRA. And I thought the clear distinction is i shouldn't have done it i'm not doing it i'm not trying to hide it in the annals of the past i reckon you know way more people that have blacked up than i do yeah i probably just need

no one yeah because you're my only one. No, you know two. Oh yeah, but I know the other one through you. I still can't believe like the parts of the world where they're just like, it's like, you know,

in South America where they're like, it's a term of endearment. You're like, I don't think it is, man. My mate who blacked up didn't even understand

the magnitude of like what he did. He, he was like, he was going as his dad's favourite comedian. And I wish I could remember the name of the comedian,

but it was essentially a minstrel. Oh. I wish I could remember the, the name is like, it's familiar to the name of another famous person.

It's like similar. You know how you've got, like, John Maloney and John Mulaney? Mm-hmm. It's like something like that where I'm sure it's a name that's similar to another name I'm fucking wittering. But he was like, it's my dad's favorite comedian. Oh, you know what?

Then just, you know. Your dad's favorite comedians are racist comedians. And like the more the more the lad I'm talking about done his research, the more he realized how abhorrent the person was who would black up as a minstrel that he was copying and like it just felt like like sheer ignorance and everybody like what the fuck in them like like brought like the glass shattered for him and he saw he was like oh fuck i do say his daughters also went to the same party as um the men in black and obviously one of them's will smith and they've done like a men in black dance with him and his two daughters two of them in blackface and put it on social media and everybody kicking off at him like what the fuck fuck? And he's like, I'm going to put it there, good people.

Yeah. Not having a clue what they're doing. They do now, retrospectively, in which they could delete history. So, yeah, you know two people. Yeah, but you brought both of them into my life. That's true. There's a picture that keeps coming up on social media of someone that got sent to my school

on non-uniform day as Les Ferdinand. Child, fully blackface as Les Ferdinand. What are you, all Dutch? I just let you not understand. I think this is what comes from having a solely white population. Yeah. Like there's no experience of other culture.

There's no understanding of what you're doing. Like there's no multiculturalism. You're not getting the understanding of somebody else's experience of life. So it's all one degree of separation further away from you. So you're distant from the problem. So it doesn't feel like you're part of the problem.

Well, mind you, I was talking to our security guy yesterday and he was saying he definitely receives more racism in America than he does anywhere in Europe oh really yeah substantially more and that's like America somewhere that's substantially more multicultural em so is racism worse if you have a complete understand and a relation with the other culture and you still decide the whole bigotry on it oh okay like bigotry born of ignorance it's it's not

forgiven but it's education that you can educate someone out of it I still think even if you don't forgive them for it but ignorance

I still think you can be surrounded by people from other cultures and still be massively ignorant to them all you have to do is just not try any effort

to fucking empathise aye or integrate and do yourself to them and you see it as us and them aye also having

having securities class it's very expensive and I'll never do it again but it is good aye it's great isn't it aye it's nice chatting to them because they're very interesting people oh man yeah

that's two security guards that we've had security guards is that what you call them yeah security details yeah security you like details

because God suggests that you're like they both call themselves they both call themselves like the good so that's yeah I think you can say anything it was interesting

hearing off our security detail last night about the requirements to drive in LA, in California. Yep. You don't have to do a... After the age of 21, you don't have to set a test. You don't have to set like a driving test. You just have to set a written test, like a theory test.

You have to prove your ID. Pay $33 and you can drive. And you hit the nail on the head. You're like, I feel like that's more dangerous than your gun laws. Yeah, apparently gun laws in California actually It's harder to get a gun. Well!

You're saying as opposed to Montana, but you could go to Montana to get your license and then use it in LA. Is that right? I think so, yeah. I think an American driving license. But you can come to California to get your driving license and then and then use it in la is that right oh i think so yeah i think an american driving but you can come you can come to california to get a driving license and then go and use it somewhere that's actually got that shit together with uh so you could just you could just go on a tour of states getting yeah you could go to texas because that'd be the easiest place to get guns then you go to california because that's the easiest place to get a driver's license and then you stay in California and that's the easiest place to get weed

go to I think I feel like there are still some parts of America where booze is legal, not state wise It's mad how like relaxed you are with everything with the gun laws, the driving laws the fucking most laws

apart from boozing like 21 Well mind you they're also not strict on their fucking drink driving laws la terrifies me because i'm just if it's after six or seven p.m every single i would say over 50 of people fucking driving have had one or two alcohol beverages because in scotland you don't have any. Like if you lose your license, if you're hung over the next day and you fucking drive. Here they're like, what's the danger of two margaritas?

Our roads are really, really wide. You'll be fine. And everyone else has also had two margaritas. It was happy hour. We were all there. Hopefully your swerving will be in sync. You'll be grand. You're going to be in sync you'll be grand you're gonna be in more trouble aren't you if you get caught drink driving as a junior you know like

so they go right you get caught drink driving you're fine wait a minute you're 20 get in the car yeah like yeah you're gonna be in more trouble for being young and drinking than you are for driving and drinking well apparently that's the's the case. Speaking to our guy yesterday, he was saying that there is lots of underage drinking in this country. Is this done at houses? Yeah. It's sort of hidden.

It's harder to do because, obviously, you've got to get a 21-year-old to buy your booze, but it still definitely happens. Depends where you are. I feel like the best of my booze and discovering alcohol Was done like Like 15, 16 Man I used to

They're the ones where you Die while you're vomiting You find out You find out your level I used to be able to do Like shots I remember Being on my like

Parents living room floor With another friend of mine Both teenagers at the time I think Like I must have been about 16 17 my friend must have been about fucking 15 or 16 and doing shots of glenn's vodka which is the worst vodka like it

was yeah it used to be i'm pretty sure like a five or four half a fucking bottle and it tasted like ass like if i was to even smell glenn's vodka now I reckon I would Join the chunder bus And spew everywhere But Throwing them back And being like Ehhh Oh gross

And I'm like Oh gross Like that's it Yeah Oh Torturing yourself Just for Cause you

Also fucking Laying it on thick For your mates I do miss Underage drinking man That was Those were the years Would you come in and go straight to bed and try

and avoid your parents because you can't style it out? No I was absolutely arrogant enough to think like I can bullshit my parents, I can be, I can as a drunk teenager be drunk in front of my parents and convince them I'm not drunk and then we just peak, absolute fucking shite to both my parents

well he's definitely drunk because he's never hugged and kissed us goodnight before. I remember coming in, so you have to go through the living room to get to the kitchen in the house I grew up in and I was so hungry when I got in that I had to go through the living room and say hello to them rather than just fucking being a teenager

and just stumping up the steps. And I went through to make myself a sugar butty. A what? You know what a sugar buddy is Do you want me to explain to them again? Yes It's where you butter A slice of bread

You get the sugar bowl And you pour the sugar onto the bread And then you give it a shug That's why it's called a sugar buddy And then you pour it back in the sugar bowl Oh good Uh huh It's in your mum's cup, eh?

Oh, yeah. Can I get some crumbs in my coffee, please? Some butter. How many butter and crumbs do you want in a cup of coffee? And you eat the sugar butter. You don't remember what I'm just fucking trying to put. That is... Fumble in the sugar bowl.

How much of a delicacy was that to you at the time? Oh, mate, it's just like sweet. Homemade sweets. Butter and sugar It's like two of the things that you'd like Gorge on if you found them in the wild As an early human Primal

I don't think you'd gorge on butter Fat I'd go wild if you just find some wild butter I'd grease myself up and go chase some lions fats and carbs energy, just fucking pure short release energy right there

I dropped the sugar bowl and like we'd just come through to see what the commotion was and there's me drunk on the floor trying to hand scoop sugar off trying to open the wooden notice dirty sugar off trying to open the wooden notice trying to just put

dirty sugar off the floor under the sugar bowl they're like are you drunk I'd be doing this anyway yeah I did this I did this like

after school last week also one time I come in would you be able to scale if you were to know I don't know probably also one name I come in did your parents care if you were done though I don't know probably

probably I think the bollock there's like but just as a like oh for fuck's sake aye I don't think they'll bother I was drunk

there was one name when I got into bed and then so I was you know I was in bunk beds when I lived into bed and then, so I was in bunk beds when I lived with my parents. I didn't know until what age?

What age? Until I moved it. I was in bunk... What age was I? 24, 25 when I moved in? Still in a fucking bunk bed. 23-year-old in a bunk bed. Now, hear me out.

I absolutely will not. You will get insulted first and then I will hear you out. A 23-year-old in a fucking bunk bed. 23 year old in a bunk bed. Now, hear me out. I absolutely will not. You will get insulted first and then I will hear you out. A 23 year old in a fucking bunk bed who's not in the army. We separated the bunk beds into two beds from about the age of 21.

But the bed's still off. There are still the bunk beds. No, no. One of them had a railing. One of them had a railing across it to stop you falling out right the top one was also used as a bottom bed so we had two separated bunk beds from adult life um but gav gav lived in runcorn for the majority of the time so i had my own room with a single bed and a spare single bed in it but at this time in my life there was still one was your wanking bed and one was your sleeping bed i wank in gav's bed then claim all the railing um i spewed up down the side of the bed so i'm in bunk beds i was bottom bunk i mean i'm the younger provider I don't get options on them things

and I started spewing doing the side of the bed and then I remember my dad like dragging us to the toilet like oop my bed into the toilet I just blurrily remember dragging us and just plonking us at the toilet

spew doing the side of my bed and then just him having a part and shot kick to the ribs as he left he part and shot kick the ribs as he left. He part and shot at us. So he's heard you spewing? Aye. He's like, not in my fucking house. Gets you in his bed.

Drags you out. Puts us in the toilet. How does he get you out of bed? I don't know, I was drunk, I can barely remember. I'll remember. Sneaky pot shot. He went back to bed. God, that's such a fucking... I got fucking booted by a toilet attendant once for spewing as well.

Yeah, with this. It was in Edinburgh actually. 21st birthday party in Edinburgh, not mine. byddaf i'n cael tynnau tywyll i'r tenant unwaith i'r sbwne hefyd. Iawn, a hwn? Roedd yn Edinburgh mewn gwirionedd. 21st deithio, rannu yn Edinburgh, nid fy mhenn. Ysgol arall, ni fyddech chi'n ei wybod. Ie. Roeddwn i'n ffynnu'r striper, fe wnes i fynd i'r ysgol, fe wnes i fynd i'r ysgol, So here he is, the king of napping. Woke up fucking eight hours later. Clean as we're in. I woke up with boobs in my face, which is class, by the way. Yeah. You wake up, you don't know where you are, you're a bit drunk,

you're like, ooh, boobies. Recommend it. Yeah. Right. Ran a spew up. The lads had convinced one of the lasses to wake us up with our boobs and she did it. Sound girl.

Sound mate. Huh? Sound mate? Yeah. When did she get the credit? When she should get the credit. I think she paid her to do it. Wow.

Is Elliot back here, is he? Fucking hell, is Elliot back here at the door of the podcast? Is he rubbing off on you? No. I wish he'd rub off on me.

Oh man, I love seeing the comments on YouTube after Elliot's on. Oh, why? Some people do not like him. Really? Why? Some people are like, big fan of this podcast.

I love all the guests you have, but I don't know why you keep getting Elliot back on. Really? And then what else was the comment? Why? Thank you for the comment if you're listening. Thank you for listening to the podcast. I'm sorry you don't enjoy Elliot. Sorry, Thank you for the comment if you're listening. Thank you for listening to the podcast. I'm sorry you don't enjoy Elliot.

No, sorry. Thank you for that comment. Sorry, everyone. No, it's Elliot, though. Hi. And they're just going, oh, yeah, pretending to girls that you're going to therapy

so that they'll like you more. That's called gaslighting. Which he'd just go, mm-hmm. But anyway. There's someone hoovering outside the hotel room. That's annoying. I think it'll be fine. It may be fine. You may be able to someone hoovering outside the hotel room That's annoying I think it'll be fine It may be fine You may be able to hear hoovering

We're on the road again This isn't the studio So I wake up in the strippers Take stock of where I am Feel a little bit seasick from the motorboating And run to the toilets And

I don't know why Probably because I was drunk Threw up down the side of the toilet I got all the way there I don't know why probably because I was drunk threw up down the side of the toilet I got all the way there I got all the way there it's like my wife's move of nearly getting to the dishwasher and just putting the plate

on top of the shelf you're so close I did that and then the toilet had to come in fucking just give us PTSD from like just a few years ago

when my dad kicked us and fucking the toilet had to come in, fucking just give us PTSD from like, just a few years ago when my dad kicked us. Fucking, the toilet had to start putting us on the floor. Like, I'm sorry, mate. And then I went to my wallet and I tipped him heavily

because he had to clean up my sick and I didn't have any notes left. Of course, I didn't admit the strippers. I'd used them all. But I did have a... I tipped someone who kicks you in the ribs. I spewed up on his floor, man. I'd have someone who kicks you in the ribs

I spewed up on his floor man oh yeah and then he kicked you in the ribs I had every right eh there is honour amongst thieves that man had every right to kick me in the ribs

so did me dad I don't you'd flip your dad to scratch your head and spit up just fucking aim you in a different direction. Maybe it was his version of like a Heimlich manoeuvre, but because you've got such a toxic relationship with your father...

I've got a great relationship with my dad. That's too much like a hug. Dean the Heimlich, while someone's already been sick, it's very funny. Like, it's all coming out and you're like, we must get this out I didn't have anything to tip the toilet

attendant with so I tipped him with a 10 pound top man voucher that I got for my own 21st birthday someone gives a 10 pound top man voucher

still had it in my wallet yeah pass it on I'm glad the days of I remember they're not maybe I'm just old but like the days of I'm not sure maybe I'm just old but like the days of like

vouchers yeah I just I'm sure there's a really sensible reason why they existed but I just never

I never understood the I do like a 20 quid gift voucher it's just like just give me 20 quid you're just limiting

the options of what I can spend it on if it's if it's like a specific thing like here's a gift voucher for like fucking skydiving or a spa It's just like, just give me 20 quid. You're just limiting the options of what I can spend it on. If it's like a specific thing, like here's a gift voucher for like fucking skydiving or a spa. Absolutely. But like 20 quid for a game? I'm like, just give me the 20 quid, I'll go game. No, but that's not what would happen. I feel like too many people would use it to alleviate their bills.

Which isn't, you know what, a decent gift if you could just can he has 20 quid towards your bills but it doesn't feel like it's a personal touch to like if you get someone at John Lewis Voucher they've got to go

and get something for their house so if you get it as a wedding present it goes on something for their marital home whereas if you just give them money

it could just end up fucking used on like Netflix and that up their nose could go on like anywhere so it's just it's just to like get them an actual gift you're actually getting them a gift but you're not giving

them something to carry okay i think that's the point in them fair enough because uh that like it's class getting gifts but sometimes it's like inconvenient they move them around you know like if i go to newcastle via train for christmas and everybody gives us christmas gifts how the fuck am i meant to get back to glasgow while this there's been so many times where i've like had to leave stuff with my mom and dad's and then next time I'm throwing the car, which is months later, pick them up and get them back. Remember somebody bought you like a homemade carved day and day

mahogany box? Yes. Fucking wonderful gift. Oh, so nice. I've still got it. You had to carry it home. Oh, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it was,

I had to post it back to myself. We are on a fucking three month tour. It's like, man, getting gifts is a lovely thing. It's was, I had to post it back to myself. We are on a fucking three month tour. It's like, man, getting gifts is a lovely thing. It's very kind for people to do, but sometimes they just don't think. Oh shit.

Hold on. Ow. Right. That isn't the start. Matthew, start after this clap. Don't put it in his bang of my head again. Sorry,

it cut off there. I realised Daniel's mic wasn't picking up We've had this problem before and it happened again Hopefully you still heard everything Because Matthew hopefully just used the audio from the camera And if he didn't we just cut it out And we'll be able to have got it back working again So you were in the middle of telling me

Why I was a noob in working class And you said I was reading Wheel of Time Oh yeah so you were reading Wheel middle of telling me why I was a noob in working class. You said I was reading Wheel of Time. Oh, yeah. So you were reading Wheel of Time on the plane, and then you fell asleep, like, back, with your fucking giant Adam's apple sticking out. Aye.

Choking on a Toblerone? Aye. And then I started putting your chair back for you. I paused it for you, and I put your fucking chair back. You're like, no, no, no, I'm not sleeping. I'm like, your eyes are physically closed and you've been snoring for five fucking minutes and then just didn't

set up your bed. Didn't have any of the... I knew it was the mattress. Yeah. You're like, set your mattress up and I was like, this is quite a soft seat anyway.

Like it was quite a comfy seat. So I had like adequate comfort. Was there more? We had. Yeah. You can lie flat. That's the whole point of business is that you can lie flat.

You can actually sleep. I'm glad you put us all the way flat. You were pushing yours back to fucking premium economy. For no reason. Yeah. This is how far economy goes back. And also, and it's a nightmare. Like how close they put those fucking chairs together.

If the person in front of you puts their chair back, you have to put your chair back. Otherwise, you're not seeing your television it's just fucking there yeah because as long as everybody agrees to do it it's fine yes but if anybody's if anybody's just been conscientious about the person behind them and then they get hit with the screens right up in your face i can't remember where it was we were flying to but there was one place. You're allowed, you were allowed to put your chair back in economy in long-haul flights, like after dinner's been served and once the lights go down, of course. Like, that's how you use it to fucking sleep.

If you attempt to put your chair back. On a short-haul flight. Short-haul flight. I will ram it forward. And you've done that before. I've been on a flight with you before where it was like a two-hour one and this person in front of you just put their chair back. And while the button was still pressed yeah and you

were just like absolutely under no circumstances that coming back what are you fucking talking about read a book go can't you throw yeah grow up no way i think uh i've preferred it when people have asked permission first i've had people like come and say do you mind if i put my seat back well it's just to let you know that you're like alright okay well then I can get myself ready to be in this position that I'm

going to have to do yeah yeah it's amazing how much man has absolutely changed the situation you know like they're doing the

exact same thing but like I'm not bristling inside over their actions yeah just because they've like well because it's

look it is perfectly reasonable to put your fucking chair back you need to fucking sleep the person in front of them might have had you know their seat

in front of them pushed back like there's reasons for it but just making sure that you're like I'm not gonna because man

when you've got a fucking drink on it and somebody just goes what the yeah oh the worst they're not checking to see if you've got

anything precariously balanced you've got your phone against your cup of coffee or some shit. It's very American. Yeah. It's very American to just throw it back.

To just not consider other people. Well, they're the same as the universe guy. The most American thing in the world to me, like if it was just in a simple action, like it wouldn't be a shooting. It wouldn't be like fucking picking your nose or just munching on crayons or anything like that. it wouldn't be like fucking picking your nose or just munching on crayons

or anything like that. It would be walking through a door of a public building and then stopping immediately to just process your new surroundings for 10 to 35 seconds. The amount of times that happened between

getting off the flight and getting through customs. Oh, it's unbelievable. Not all the way through a door, but just they'll walk through it. You know in old games, where if you walked into a building, it would have to come up with a fucking loading screen while it loaded the inside?

That's what Americans do when they enter buildings. They walk to the fucking door, and then they stop, and they go, loading, loading loading processing processing processing massive payload and then like act as if they've been

affronted when you yeah excuse me I had that when we like had me luggage on me bag and they said you know when you come out

of LAX it's like there's kind of ramp up and everybody is there watching for their relatives or whatever and she just stopped

and just started like looking up I don't know if she was looking for her name or whatever. And she just stopped and just started looking up. I don't know if she was looking for her name or what. And I'm just like, nah, everyone can't do that. Every single person in the airport can't have themselves 30 seconds to stop and look, get through. If your relative's looking for you, they're going to meet you at the top of that ramp. They're looking down and there's Gran.

And then they go, what are you going to do if you spot them? You're going to get on the exact same way you are I'll meet you I'll meet you over the bit that is the only place I can meet you I'll not climb up here

I'll not climb up here like Spider-Man because I'm a 92 year old fucking woman I nearly fucking took her clean out because I had one of them trolleys

with all my luggage on pretty heavy and she just stopped dead and I had to fucking take everything to take the momentum out of this trolley so not to fucking flatten this old deer. Yeah.

I think you should have. That's why I think you should have fucking rammed your trolley through the back of her cankles. Take her out because they don't heal from those. I would have looked like the bad guy. But you'd know you weren't deep down. You'd know that you were in the right. I probably got sued.

This is a country of suing Yeah I didn't think Like if there's people walking behind you Like you've got a Mirror signal manoeuvre Out of the flow of people to stop You can't just simply stop

In a throng of people You kind of just halt You don't have brake lights if you're a person nobody has a stopping distance because you're gonna survive the crash and the but it's just so fucking inconvenient it just body slam someone in the immigration queue yesterday in America which were the queues are only long because it's, it's a country based on inefficiency. This woman, I swear to fucking God,

every time the queue stopped, she bumped into my bag every single time without fail. Like, and she wasn't even on her phone. She was just bumping into me. Just walk until something stopped there. Like, was she potentially blamed?

No, she was there with her husband and it was getting to the point where I'm like, fuck, if anyone's, if anyone's getting the attitude husband And it was getting to the point Where I'm like Fuck If anyone's If anyone's getting the attitude here It's gonna be fucking him I'm gonna turn around And I'm gonna be like

Fucking Are you kidding me? I keep checking my back To see if she's fucking Cause like After the seventh time I'm like Are you trying to get something

Out of my back? Like is that what this is? Is this actually just Really poorly done Normalising The contact Yeah yeah yeah To do something

So you can only like Protect your belonging So many times Before you're like Oh it's just this cunt's elbow Aye so I'm just there Getting more and more angry Being like

I'm just gonna have to Fucking give this bitch A piece of my mind Turn around Heavily pregnant Ah there you go Yeah Yeah

The coordination On those bitches Well man Don't have the jaw We don't have the jaw We don't have the jaw It's at home They're I don't

Man I think You know The Americans Standard for And also Loss in coordination Is a Symptom of

Your body changing shape Man The fucking And also Just pure momentum Like it takes them Longer to slow down Because there's

More of them And also She was very pregnant She was like pregnant with triplets that were due in seven minutes pregnant like that was i felt i felt she still had a queue with everybody else oh i felt guilt instantly i was just there like oh man you should not be made to come on society yeah come on society let this girl through man if only somebody would let her through stay there if only somebody had the morals to stop crying i'm giving

a speech if only somebody i did let her skip in front of me i did yeah hi not a fellow though no not him no this is your fault get back one yeah jesus yeah all the way back um congratulations to her by the way because i can almost guarantee she gave birth today She was that pregnant Oh so pregnant She just flew in from Mexico That's probably Get him to America before he arrives That's probably why she kept bumping into me

To just try and kick start the thing Just be like right I'll just run into a wall, not a wall that would be too dangerous Go into that That weak man That spineless worm says, I know you'll not do anything. That British man

who'll only ever tut. He'll only ever tut. He'll seethe on the inside and he'll have no courage to say anything out loud. Look at him eyeing up my husband as if he'd do fucking anything. I didn't think you could fly when you were that pregnant

me neither I don't know is it like depending on the airline in your honesty I think you can get permission from your doctor if the doctor gives you like a gym pass to be like she's allowed to get on this flight yeah especially if she's like getting home

yeah because when we were Cara was pretty damn pregnant in America. Yeah, and we had the... She was getting to close to seven months pregnant, which is the fucking limit, and we got the doctors knowing everything. But on the flight home one of the air stewards did point out not air stewards, the checking people pointed out

and I was just there like what's the fucking alternative? Like, do you think I'm just going to leave my wife in this country for two months to give birth to a fucking yank? Oh, imagine. Imagine your child is American. Couldn't do it. Not even worth the passport.

No. No. No. I'd rather fly from Dublin regularly, get two customs on that side, than I would raise a fucking yank. But you'd have like a super privileged yank. Like this country's only bad to people who aren't like you. On principle, I can't have a yank.

Like your kid would get the premium deluxe yank package. It would be platinum white boy yank. It would be, it would, but no, I can't. I can't raise one of them. Nah. Nah. When he's fucking 12, he's going to change his name to Chuck. God, imagine, like, yeah, just... Start calling it soccer.

Oh, man. I never want to hit my kid. Yeah. I never want to punch my child in the jaw. But if he calls it soccer... Did I ever tell you my theory that even though I don't agree and I would never call it soccer, that calling it soccer is actually the correct thing to do?

Like, not morally, but logically. Because every other sport, most other sports, are given a kind of nickname. Like, cricket doesn't get called batball. You don't call tennis racquetball. You don't call snooker cueball. Basket cue ball basketball basketball is one of the other outliers but the majority of sports have got darts darts yeah but there's a lot of them i've got that name now there's several types of football rugby football is one of them it's a handball but it's rugby football is what it's called and it was

a variation of the rules of football that created it the original rules of football were football so that has got dibs on the name football but it's association football and they've just abbreviated the association part to get the soccer now it is the correct way to differentiate It from rugby football and American football But There's no way I'm ever letting them have it I think even Saying that out loud was you giving them too much there Why don't you

Tell the cunts that aluminum Is correct You can't have aluminum You cannot Also and I know this has been mentioned Time and time again but one of my Biggest irks With this country is the phrase

I could care less Oh Instead of I couldn't care less Just Just wrong Just 100% wrong In any If you were to put in 0.1 second of critical thinking

You would understand That I could care less It's not an insult You could care less There's more room to care More room to care less I couldn't care less It's impossible for me to care less than I do right now

I could give a fuck I bet they do say I could give a fuck I could possible for me to care less than I do right now, which I thought give a fuck. Yeah, I Bet they do say I could give a fuck. I could give a fuck. I could give a fuck. I Haven't been out in LA yet. No. Well, I spent the day napping and then the rest of the time the city was asleep Yeah, yeah, and poor about it. We're about to get in the car And go to San Diego Yes Which is one of my favourite gigs Out of the American tour actually I love

I love the fucking Balboa Theatre I love the Balboa Theatre I loved Going around Balboa Park On a stolen Lime Scooter Mm-hmm Tell you about that Mm-hmm

And somebody just left A Lime Scooter running Outside the shop And I tried to get it to start And it like It was already on And I was like Ah

And I just drove off on it before I realised that like I hadn't connected with it did you take any advantage of that did you do any murders did you run into any cars

I got quite some distance before they cancelled it on the app yeah like at their end yeah because there was a point where I just ground to a halt

and then I logged into it but yeah I got some miles into the app that's fine I think that's an okay type of theft yeah I didn't feel bad about it that doesn't show up on my radar of like immorality But yeah, I got some miles into the wrap. That's fine. I think that's an okay type of theft.

Yeah, I didn't feel bad about it. That doesn't show up on my radar of like immorality. Yeah, anyone using a Lime Scooter has enough money to be robbed of a couple of miles of a fucking Lime Scooter. They're actually quite inexpensive, I thought. Compared to getting an actual Uber. Yeah, but there's also the, you know, if you're getting a crash in an Uber,

you've got a seatbelt on. If you get a crash in a lime scooter In America Oh you are fucking dead boy Do you think that's like one of the motivations To get out on the street Do you think that's the motivation for like Just give somebody a driving licence

By doing a paper test Because one you're going to buy a car Two you're going to crash a car Three you're going to hurt yourself And end up in hospital Which also costs money So it's just like There's just a multitude of ways to spend thousands you're going to crash a car three you're going to hurt yourself and end up in hospital which also costs money so it's just like there's just a multitude of ways to spend thousands that's a good conspiracy theories because that's like the reason why americans get vasectomies is so that

they can charge parents for vasectomy oh not vasectomy sorry yeah that's gonna say jesus christ daniel silly boy the other one circumcision yeah hi did you suggest that jewish people are just going around getting vasectomy how are there still so many of them no i'm pretty sure the jews the jews are very against vasectomies i would think because oh no maybe i'm thinking of jehovah's witnesses i think the majority of like religious procreation religious people would be against vasectomies. Yeah.

Uh-huh. I'd do it. I've got no problem with getting a vasectomy. No. No. The same reason I'm all for,

you know, gun laws in America. It's the same reason I'd get a vasectomy. I'm like, I don't trust most of you with this. Would you get a vasectomy?

100%. After which child? Absolutely Fucking now If I was allowed Yeah really? Are you done? No I'm not

If she was like I'm done Would you happily get the vasectomy? If she was like I'm done Absolutely Yeah you were If she was out

Yeah I've got no Even Despite her routines About only child No you're right I couldn't I couldn't actually have An only child

A friend of ours I have a joke in my show this year about only children and why they're disgusting and gross and shouldn't be loved or touched or allowed to exist, except in the event of a tragedy. A friend of ours has an only child, and I think their child is like five or six. And I'm like, when are you having another one? And he was like, you know what, man, like, we're not going to do another one. I'm like, oh, an only child? He's like, no, actually, I think like a bunch of studies

have come out recently and proven that the original study that showed that only children were worse than children with siblings has actually been disproven. And I'm like, oh, man, I don't think that was a study. That was a basic observation. Yeah, that was an observation that everyone who'd made by themselves, and it did not require any university to do any research into that that was like in the same way that there's

never been a study on is water wet but the the thing about having an only child i think is the sense of entitlement you give them by the world revolving only around them and them not learning how to share and i've got plenty of mates who aren't only children who've had that level of input and they are super entitled and they've got only child leg syndrome despite having siblings. So it's not being the only child that does it. It's not picking up the valuable lessons that you have through having siblings which is essentially sharing and missing out and coming second yeah and life is unfair like you need a sibling because how come they go that and i didn't because fuck

you that's why because those are the fucking world work somebody has something you don't and you want it and unless you can physically overpower them you're not going to get it so shut up i I think. And I don't know if it's possible. And I say this as the older sibling. And I would regularly beat Josie in fights. She was disabled as fuck, man. Easy, easy.

Yeah, how do you think she got like that? Yeah, fucking she took my shit. And then Matthew and Jack were 10 and 12 years younger. Used to be able to fucking label them. Easy wins left, right and centre. It used to be a pretty fair fight With me and my brother Until he had a growth spurt

And I started getting battered Yeah And then he started getting on the gear Started putting you through walls I held me on until he was on steds I just think if you have an only child You've just got an extra obligation As a parent

You've just got extra lessons to teach them That the world's not going to teach them Naturally And organically You've got to synthesise those lessons got an extra obligation as a parent to, you've just got extra lessons to teach them that the world's not going to teach them naturally and organically. You've got to synthesise those lessons. Put your kid into like a fucking MMA class but like a couple of years, all the other kids

are a couple of years older than them. Put them in an adult MMA class at the age of seven. Like it's the only way they'll learn. Just every time you get out of the shop with them just get sweets for yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And give them them but like lick all the good bits they'll learn just every time you get out of the shop with them just get sweets for yourself yeah yeah yeah yeah and give them them but like lick all the good bits off of them and leave them there only dress your only child

in all of your wife or your hand made down clothes sometimes on car journeys put them in the middle seat in the back even though the other two are free just because they've got to learn that you don't always get what you want even sometimes when it's just you and them in the car and they could sit in the front seat with you,

do not let them sit in the front seat with you. Knock drinks out of their hand, take half of their sweets on all time, take half of their dinners on all time. Yep, if you get them a PlayStation or something for Christmas, 50% of the time you've got to play on it yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the other time, play multiplayer games and absolutely fucking leather them trash talk them

to fuck until they are in physical tears you've got to read the diary and then make fun of them for the stuff that they've wrote yeah anytime somebody beats up your kid you've got to fucking leather that person lay that child out Across the floor Too fucking much Put that in and then beat up your kid For making you do that When your kid's sleeping you've got to put their fingers in a glass of water It's a valuable lesson you've got to teach your kid It's very funny if you piss the bed

Yeah Buy alcohol For your kid While they're underage but only if they do like really gross dares proper little punishments

aye and occasionally like say you're going out and then come back in and babysit them and don't be their dad just be that older brother babysitter

beat them up like get into physical altercation with them Beat them up too much Put like Actually like Burst their nose So blood comes out And they just be like

Don't tell mum Don't tell mum I swear to god Don't tell mum Alright Shout he started it After you hit them Hit your kid

And shout he started it Up the stairs Before he even gets to mum It's just easy piece of piss being a parent is so easy don't help them

don't fuck them that's it the big two that's like how to be a national treasure in our country the two the two fucking

the amount of people that have fucked up being a national treasure because they can't stop fucking youngins well we've got to get to San Diego yeah Because it kind of stopped fucking youngins. Well, we've got to get to San Diego. Yeah.

I might have a nap in the car. I'll fucking see you there. I'll wake up back, yeah? Aye. Fuck me, man. Did I rep? How you did that to? Wake up with your tits in my face. Right. This is a public episode

Think about subscribing on Patreon Even if you didn't enjoy the 10 minutes where the audio dropped off Yeah I'm pretty sure that was cut out And you know Nah I think we can keep it in Well no man I think we Is this a throwback of an older time No no this is the new podcast

Oh you haven't caught up on the WhatsApp, have you? No. The entire second half of the last Patreon episode we had the same problem. Oh, did we? Mm-hmm. Listen back, it's still manageable, but look, teething problems. We've got all our new tech, we're figuring it out.

Once we've ironed out the kinks, we'll be slick as fuck. As I said in the last description. But until then, you can just kink shamers. There we are.