Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Quarantine 17. Change Your Pants

Episode Date: June 11, 2020

Back after taking a week off to process recent events, easing in with a discussion about disabled dogs before getting our teeth into everything that's going on in the world Note: When you're screaming at the podcast because Muggins keeps saying 'Gone with the Wind' he means 'Sound of Music' 

Sloss and Humphreys on the road! Muggins and cream, creaming muggins, straight thuggin', living the dream That's our intro Fucking muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head that makes you laugh Woohoo! Hahaha! They said it can't be done!

Are we in the same seats? That's hack! Aww, muggles! Accidental rim job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or am I just being cynical? You muggled it up on fucking Mugglepedia! Where have you been since 9-11?

And we are back after a two-week rest. How are you doing, mate? I am all right. Well, I mean, I'm not great, but I don't think anyone's great right now, are they? Nah, nah. I think if anyone's having a full-on blinder... They're not reading the room?

You don't have a television. You don't have the internet. If anyone's having a belter, go and rein that in because it is outright disrespectful, actually. I bet there probably is people having a belter

in the same way that Kyle's dad had a belter on the South Park episode where he was trolling everybody. You know the one... No, but those trolls are never happy. Is that not the message of the show?

I think so. I love that scene when they just go, aye, sad, lonely, fucking depressed old fucking... And then it just cut to him and he's just whacking down the street with a fucking sunshine. Aye, aye. Yeah, that's what I've been...

I've been trying to peddle the be happy on a micro level. Yeah, that's what I've been trying to peddle, the be happy on a micro level. We can't be happy on a macro level right now, like on a large scale, but just have your ducks in a row. Set yourself small goals. I had some running goals that I was trying to achieve and I had some box sets that I was watching.

I played Call of Duty, the Dungeons and Dragons with you. I'm having a catch up with you now now but I spoke to you for four hours yesterday but in character as a wood elf you know what I mean, it's not quite the same but on the micro level pretending to be a wood elf

well into my thirties to be pal on Zoom on the micro level happy as Larry oh no see I've got On Zoom. On a regular level. Happy as Larry? Oh, no, see, I've gone... I'm on the... Both of mine are arguably... Well, not arguably shite. Both of mine are shite at the moment.

Oh, there, you're not happy... I've got... You're not happy on a minor scale. Well, no, I mean, obviously... Well, I don't know. That's sad. I don't know if you're aware of this, Kai, but... Oh, Dean, Dean, sorry, mate.

I don't know if you know this, racism still exists. I thought you were going to say a grandad passed away. Oh, yeah, he died. Yeah, yeah. But I was going for that. I wasn't. But here's the thing. Hey, Kai, Kai, Kai, Kai.

I still prioritise BLM over that just because, well, I mean, I'm not going to be like, hey, all lives matter. My grandad's life matters. One less racist. Alright. Yeah, my grandad passed away this week. I don't want to speak ill about your grandad.

It's very sad, mate. Lovely bloke. I'm sorry. Well, I was, but he was, yeah. Yeah, you talk, sorry. I'm talking for you. He was old. He was, you know yeah I mean yeah you talk sorry I'm talking he was old he was you know I mean if anyone

was going to die it should have been him like way sadder if a baby had died infinitely sadder still sad for us yeah but you know

I think man he had a fucking great life it started he'd completed the game aye aye he won it on easy wait man wait man he completed on the He'd completed the game. Aye. Aye, he won it. On easy. Wait, man.

Wait, man. He completed on the wait man setting. Let's never forget that one. He did. Oh, not only did he complete it on the easy wait man setting, he completed it on the boomer setting, Guy. Guy, Guy, Guy. The cat bought a house for two grand.

He completed the game on easy. What a life he had all the way through. Back when he was younger, there were only seven women to choose from. It was so easy to get laid. Your sister, on the other hand, she fucking overestimated how difficult the setting was. Disabled woman.

Aye. So that's on a micro level that's obviously been sad on a more micro level our big fat cat has been a cunt is this a propaganda is this a propaganda piece to stop me from accepting it

no no but if you want to I mean me and Cara have both been talking about whether my mum just palmed off a dying cat because she couldn't be arsed with the grief so we were thinking maybe just doing the same thing to you and Natalie just doing a pass the parcel of sadness

no she I mean she's so fat that she might be diabetic oh no now obviously I want to clarify to people about the size of this fucking cat. We don't overfeed her. She was a big, fat cat before.

She was a breeding cat that they just locked in a room and just fed constantly. When we originally got her, she didn't have any hair on the bottom of her stomach because it used to drag along the floor so much. Ah, so you've actually brought her down in weight. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man, man. She's back to a

good weight. She is just a big main food. You've got her down from morbidly obese to fat. No, no. She's not even fat. She's perfect weight for her size. It's just her breed of cat is fucking huge. So we just call her fat cat.

Oh, I've got got you I just don't I don't think you can body shame a cat nah absolutely not so she but we had to think she might be diabetic

which I didn't know cats could be I just took a stance I didn't know I had you can't body shame a cat I was like oh no absolutely not

I was like I didn't know I had such firm beliefs on that all these poor cats looking at all these pin-up models, all these unrealistic expectations, top cat. How are they ever going to live up to that? In a capitalist society where they're getting sold sugar

and beach body in the same advert. Poor cats. Let our body ready. I know. I didn't know I find that you can have a diabetic cat is a lot like like

when the vet told me I kind of reacted in the way that you would if she'd go oh by the way your dog's got a lisp and you're like alright

what do I what do I do what do I do about that like what's yeah do I need to fucking inject this cat with insulin like it's a baby Ed Gamble what's the game do I do about that? Like, what? Yeah, do I need to fucking inject this cat with insulin like it's a baby Ed Gamble?

What's the game? Do I need to take it to woof therapy? No, no. I know it didn't rhyme with speech therapy, but that's what you would do. Okay, right. You can get dogs with cleft palates, though. Them King Charles Spaniels have got cleft lips, haven't they?

And they're a bit grunty in that. Stacey Keech. Oh, yeah, the deformities. You can also get those little dogs that are... Or cats that are born with no front legs and they walk around with their little Velociraptors. Front-wheel dogs. Front-wheel dogs.

You never think of them being front-wheels. They're always rear-wheel drive disabled dogs, aren't they? No, I've seen... I think I've seen both. You never get, like, two wheels down one side. They're usually at the back, aren't they? No, no, I've seen... I don't mean to stereotype disabled dogs

in a fucking contentious climate right now, right? But... I'll... I'll disable dogs that look the same to me no no they've all got back wheels no

I've definitely seen there's definitely been dogs with front wheels I mean sure like the exception

that proves the rule maybe maybe no no you know can I set up like a fucking

like a motorbike that is a good point you never see them on one side they've never got two left legs and two right wheels you know what as well

you never see them with four wheels I think they just I think I think they don't save those ones I think I think

once you've taken away all those legs you've taken away what it is to be a dog. That just made me really sad. Maybe they don't. Maybe I'm making them up. Maybe there are snake dogs out there

in happy, loving families. I don't know how they get around places. Would you use them as fucking doorstops? Just a no-legged sausage dog in just a bun that you carry around in. That would be the cutest thing. That is the only time it's acceptable to carry your dog in a purse or a bag.

If it's got the arms and legs. Arms. The arms and legs, aye. Dog arms. You never see them with wheels for arms. So yeah, even on a micro level it's like the macro levels weighing you down I'll tell you what I've done my micro levels happiness

is compromised because I'm engaging in every single conversation and the people that pipe up in conversations where it used to be everyone piped up in the conversations now it's just the same five white blokes that have shown their true colors you know what i mean so you actually it's not that you're talking to people discovering their point of view and trying to influence them or show them a different way of thinking or give them some knowledge i'm only chatting out to the people who have took any knowledge that's presented with them, seen a different point of view, and still stand behind that bigotry.

And it's making it sad talking to these guys because I know I'm pissing against the wind. And I know that people that would have otherwise joined in with conversation have given up where I haven't. So there's a lot of people that have drifted into silence with their point of view because they feel like they're just coming up against it all the time whereas i'm like i've been fucking like captain america like i could do this all day other people have got sick as fuck and they've they've taken their opinion out of the conversation they've maybe deleted facebook and uh so now i just feel like well that's what i've done i mean that's why i've i've i'm off all the fucking social medias just because i i do not think it's a good place to have a discussion with anyone i really

don't i don't i don't think i've ever had my i know no that's not i know i have had my opinion changed over the internet but it was never via debate it was via like articles and whatnot yeah and that's why i just i have been enjoying that people sharing articles and sharing the points of view and that knowledge but uh but some people are just too like transparent like some people like when you're talking to someone you start getting more and more cynical about their intentions if somebody if if somebody opposes the black lives matter movement at this point when there's been that much conversation this this many weeks on i start doubting their intentions and i'm really

cynical in every conversation new and pessimistic and um that's not usually my stance uh it's it's it's amazing that whenever i hear somebody says saying all lives matter i'm going the fact that you said that means you don't mean it yeah just by saying that just by saying all lives matter at this point I mean it's been explained to people which is obviously look there is a hidden

too for anyone too stupid to understand the black lives matter thing is black lives matter too

all lives matter obviously but black lives are currently not being treated as if nor have they ever been treated

as if they fucking mattered that's the problem there is a hidden implied too in black lives matter too they make us say routine that Or have they ever been treated as if they fucking mattered? That's the problem. There is a hidden implied to Black Lives Matter too. The Michael Shea routine that you've shared is so fucking good. It's like matters. Like, that's all we're saying matters.

And people are like, nope. Nope, can't have that. Hey, I saw the best one, right? Somebody against the Black Lives Matter movement posted, I stand by the police, Blue Lives Matter, if you disagree, you're not my friend or something like that. And then somebody replied going, but all jobs matter. What about the fire brigade?

What about the health care and stuff? And it's like, no, but the police need our help at the moment. And then he went, you're nearly there. You're so fucking close you're so close to getting it it's just it's the

I think I mean I don't get it wrong I admire the fact that you know you're still trying to change people's mind

with healthy and you know healthy discussion and trying not to fucking name calling what not I think it's

a noble errand. Taking points on board, not being fanatical, not just standing by my alignment, regardless of what's happening, you know? Like, people are coming at us like, oh, the fucking graffiti at the cenotaphs for the World War II veterans and all that. What about that?

And I'm like, aye, sucks. Totally sucks. Kneebutts. Knee, knee. I'm with you. We're on the same page. So now can we talk about other things?

I'm fucking angry. Do you want us to say that's collateral damage and I'm not mad about it? I think it's actually fucking harmful to the cause. I think whoever did it is like an enemy

of the movement and it's fucking, it's hindering the point that I'm trying to get across. So I hate it on fucking two levels. I hate it that they to get across so I hate it on fucking two levels I hate it that they've been disrespectful and I hate it that they've

that they've actually slowed the movement down and give you guys some ammunition I've given you another bullshit reason to hide behind I've not been fanatical in the name Trust me I fucking hate I fucking hate when my side gives you excuses

Believe me I hate it more than you do exactly that and it's just it gives them something to fucking hang on you know in the war heroes, I mean

my grandad was in the war, I thought he didn't get overseas but he put his life on the line to train the Spitfire pilots, he was in the back of a fucking rickety old big fairy battle aircraft, like hanging targets out the back and pulling them in and counting the scores so he's getting shot at by fucking Spitfires Cable was snapping and fucking whipping around

the cabin that he was in, he was in the war effort, he lost friends and I know one thing about my grandad who everybody's talking for him and his generation everybody's talking for them I know one thing about that bloke, he liked people more than he liked the trophies he joined the YFAT for the

people, not for the statue that he would get and that fucking sucks that that's happening but I swear if my grandad was here today he'd be more concerned about the inequality and the discrimination towards people

alright, is it both your grandads are gone? yeah my war veteran grandad and my boo my grandad both gone, my grandad Harry was probably too young to so it's not got one more I'm still in the lead

yeah I'm fucking all four mate full house, fucking grandparents down I've moved up a generation I think, back to not to get back into grandad's, let's stick on the Black Lives Matter things and all the things that are going on right now, I think

my problem with online discourse a lot of the time is the one thing I've learned in the past couple of weeks, and I know this has been said a thousand times, but realising how little I fucking know about things. At this moment in time, I don't feel confident having an opinion on much things because I just really feel that i need to go out and uh spend time just fucking reading and listening because what i thought the world was was clearly wrong yeah uh-huh right i and i and it's and i agree it's shocking that i've only

come to this realization now right it's shocking and it's too far it's it's late to the fucking thing but it has happened i've suddenly gone right shit how i perceive the world is not the actual state of it and everything's up in contention so i'm just trying to you know we've been here before it's it's not new it's reminiscent of the me too movement um mate we we weren't sexually assaulting people so when we never saw sexual assaults happening so we just thought sexual assaults didn't know about that but and then you and then you talk to lasses and lasses are finally getting the strength to to to be vocal about stuff that they've kept secret to to put the hashtag out with the story on and you're watching it and you're like fuck fuck Fuck! Fuck! I take your point,

but I do also think that I didn't realise, because unlike with the Me Too movement, where it is like, you know, we were complicit in the fact that our friend, you know,

did what he did. The movement weeded him out. Aye, aye. We may have still been blinked out of that cunt. I know, but I just mean that with the Black Lives

my learning here isn't is that I have been complicit not only have I been complicit but that I've benefited from the system and how much I've benefited from the system it's not yes the complacency

and the not doing that but it's got that bonus it's got the ignorance of that fuck i should have realized this how stupid and closed-minded i was and not paying attention yeah added on to oh by the way no not only did you ignore it you also profited off of it and you go ah fuck i am the bad guy yes and it made it it's it's actually it's actually gives Well, not the bad guy. It actually gives this feeling of guilt in the way that I've acted, in the way I've spoken in the past. When a new tour movement happened,

you seemed to get a lot of guys that were fucking panicking about, oh, what's a grey area? What's this? Everyone's clearing their fucking search history in their head, and some of them see some fucking shady shit in there and they can feel the tide going out on them and exposing them.

So the panic and the try and change the climate, right? And I can feel the tide going out on me a little bit where I'm like, oh, there's some things that I've said, not hate-fuelled, but ignorantly. Ignorantly shit, aye. And I think that's why when I see, when I see the All Lives Matter Brigade, especially coming out

of a big white community where I'm from, and I see their thought process, I get angry at them because I kind of see my previous way of thinking in them.

Like, I've almost, I've been through their way of thinking to get where i am now and i'm only where i am now because i'm fucking worldly traveled i've met a wide array of people from outside of my community i've read a lot of books because i'm not working double shifts in the factory anymore so i can i can take on more information and i've grown from where they are now

and when i'm talking to them i see myself and when I get angry at them, I'm getting angry because that's where I've been Aye, and you're trying to drag them towards the finish line of self-improvement Yeah, whereas they're scrapping to keep the they're trying to keep the tide from exposing them rather than just fucking moving with the tide and getting the fuck out of there

I don't know if that analogy made any sense but that's how I feel no no i think i thought i think it did um i've uh i made sense to me and um i saw about a quote that actually comforted us in the in in that fact and it was um the quote was to do with um being anti-racist doesn't mean free of racism it's the continuous battle against racism even if that battle goes on within yourself so to recognize your um your cultural bias based on your upbringing and based on what what you knew from around you and and then and then your eyes get opened by a thing like this and you recognize stuff in yourself i read um mate let's tackle a couple of things right I got told recently about

gifs being digital blackface and my instant reaction was it my instant reaction was to reject it

right I think I used one recently I used Kanye West wait sorry just to clarify you mean like let's say somebody

said something funny on Twitter or Facebook or in the WhatsApp group and you reply with a gif of a person of colour reactive instead of a white person. Yeah, like, oh no, you didn't. Finger wave, right? If you use that, right? So I saw a conversation happening that I wasn't, like it was on my wall, but it was between these two lasses both in the same Black Lives Matter fight.

There wasn't anyone disagreeing. One of them used a black gif and the other one posted an article about digital blackface and said he's seen this. And my instant reaction was like, there's so many emotive people in the world. It seems counterproductive to censor some individuals from that gif game because they're black. It almost feels like you're excluding them because of the race and then i just thought right read these articles and i read some testimonials from black people in there it turns out that instinctively would go for black people like the analytics or lean heavily towards us using black people in gifs and that's saying what i'm saying never use

a black person in a gif just be very conscious of your own bias whether you're going you're leaning towards that every single time you need an emotion because we just feel like we're being personified as walking hyperbole i'm like fuck when you put it like that i i think it's the you did what a lot of people myself included don't do there which is you saw a headline and then you did an amazing thing. You read the article. And then after that, you did something. You went, hold on, I'll Google something else to do with it. And that's not what happens nowadays.

And again, I'm holding my hand up well up in the air. That's why I'm taking a lot of time to do reading and stuff because I was that person. You read the fucking headline because they give you the fucking headline and that causes you to have this instant reaction. Be like, well, what a ludicrous fucking thing to say and you've not read it.

You've not seen how many people have this opinion. You've not researched it or anything. I identified that in myself immediately because I didn't have to scroll too far back because I always think if I come back I put fake tan on to be a fucking suicide bomber at a bad taste

fancy dress party if I got that far back I'd go oh actually this is fucking icky I come to guilt I had to scroll back two fucking days to find this for myself mate on my twitter like three days ago four days ago now i put a gif of kanye west smiling and then rolling his eyes like oh like smiling and then going serious face and the whole thing was when

you get a notification one of your friends likes your tweet and you wait for the retweet to come but nope it doesn't come and that gif suited that feeling I fucking I did it, I'd done that I went instantly for the black person and you've got to recognise it, you've just got to go, aye maybe he's I think the first

thing that a lot of people struggle with is, we've obviously got this thing in our head, which is, right, racism is bad, right? I think what a lot of people... We all... Not we all. A lot of people agree that racism is bad, but a lot of people who still are implicitly racist or inherently biased, because we all are,

they are assuming that when you go hey we're all racist go no no no i'm not i don't hate black people no no it's it's more than that it's not just being venomous and vitriolic to people of color it is uh you know the the kind of ways that you benefit off the system how you are perceived, how your likelihood to get to college and to university, like genuinely like stuff along the lines of, if your name sounds black, even if it sounds black, you get 5% less on your test results on average.

Oh, wow. Like there's just, yeah, I'm pulling quotes of some of the books I've read in the past couple of weeks. So forgive me if the figures are a bit off. But these books like Bias and Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race, they're very uncomfortable,

but they just have to be. Me and Cara were watching, I think we were watching Hidden Figures the other night because you fucking ordered it on my Amazon. You read it. Like, I'm glad that we both had our little white guilt week to take together and just got to benefit off of each other's recommendations.

By the way, Selma's up there if you want to go down there, right? So me and Cara are watching and there's just so many bits where these things didn, you know, these things didn't happen ages ago, they happened within lifetimes of people that are still alive, and I've done, she's always going, I can't watch this,

I don't want to watch this, and you go, no, but we have to. Aye, poor fucking, peel your eyes, peel your eyes open,

actually. You don't get to, you don't get to close your eyes, because that's what we've all been doing we've done it so far that's what this has all been yep and it's

because this is this is why I'll turn my head from it like before any of this becomes such a big movement I tried watching

when they see us I watched one episode and it fucking hurt me so so fucking much I couldn't watch the rest of the series. I was like, I had to fucking I'm sure I googled how it went

and they ended up doing fucking 30 years or something these kids that got wrongfully accused. That's Eva Duvernay, she's the director of that, she also did 13th Selma. Yeah, I watched 13th. 13th is on Netflix

and it's one thing I just recommend I just recommend everyone watch it because I just didn't know any of that it's just or turn your head from it turn your head from it being there and this is why we turned our head

because we couldn't do anything about it it made us feel the way it made us feel it made us feel helpless so we turned our head because we couldn't do anything about it right it made we feel the way it made we feel and it made we feel helpless so we turned our head because we didn't want to spend you're trying to have a fucking happiness on a micro level feeling helpless doesn't make you happy on a micro level right so so you feel helpless you try to avoid the feeling of being helpless because we're selfish intrinsically um so we turn away but now now there's that many people looking in this direction that we can be helpful there's i've always seen it as um if we're a giant brain i was talking about this on my knitting stream right we're a giant brain and everybody in that brain

is a is a synapse that fires in every conversation is a is the synapse is firing against each other now if there's 300 people in a movement, that's 300 brains that are thinking of ideas and coming up with stuff. And it might not be enough to tackle something as large as racism, right? But if you've got billions of people all thinking, all talking, in this giant marketplace of ideas that is the fucking Black Lives Matter movement, which is the brain of the operation, which we're all synapses

in. All these conversations happening we could come up with something as a giant super brain and that's why I'm not looking away anymore because it doesn't feel helpless now. There's my optimism back. I mean, you're far more optimistic than I am.

But then again, I think that's what people need. Yeah, well, already, mate, if the march has stopped and if the movement just kind of goes back down to the size it was, like maybe it was in 2016, and it still exists, but it's simmering under. Just this big explosion of people paying attention to it and talking in it. I think already people have grown in knowledge, grown in the testimonials of the people that this is affecting directly. I think people have added all that to their own brains.

Can we just talk about how fucking wild it is that the American police, I assume, have been watching the same videos that we have of police beating up protesters and they're still beating up protesters and that's still beating up protesters ah man it that's that's privilege that's what that is and people people go and go and how the fuck do they keep how do they keep beating up prisoners and sorry protesters go because they know they get away with it that's this whole thing is they just consistently just... That's what privilege is.

When that old guy got pushed over... It's set up to benefit them. When that old guy pushed over and the two police got suspended, then the rest of the Buffalo police force quit. That was them going, fuck, if that can happen to them, that can happen to any of us. We've all been cunts. What a wild response.

Two people pushed over an old white man and he cracked his head open. And then 57 police officers resigned in solidarity. That's like you checking a mole, being like, I think that's cancerous. And then just the entire tumour just fucking off out of your arm because you noticed it.

You're like, you've done me a favour. That's what we were going to do. Like, you were all about to be fired. Thanks for that. I've loved that saying the trash has taken itself out. Aye. Somebody mentioned that. I've been getting fucking deleted off people off Facebook, left,

right and centre, mate, just by having a because I said racism is bad. Some people don't agree that racism is bad, guy. Is that not mental? I can see them because I can scroll across the people you may know and because we've got a fucking hundred mutual friends, they're just algorithms, pop them straight in there.

And I now have mates with them on Facebook, so for them to be in the people you may know, it is just this fucking ticker of people who've got their car as their fucking cover photo and fucking absolute fucking gammon faced lads my age that if I'll just fucking delete there's people I was mates with you know

people that come to Punchdrunk and I've had a laugh with and we've had back and forths and I went to school with and I've seen since and it's never people that I would pick up laugh with and we've had back and forths and I went to school with and I've seen since. It's never people that I would pick up the phone and talk to. It's never them. But either are they. Fucking bonkers.

How mad is it going to be? How mad is it going to be if Trump wins again? Because I think, I still think he's going to win in November just because I just don't have faith in Americans. I just actively don't have faith in them. Like, the media is too powerful.

The Murdoch's are too powerful. Their education system is fucking shocking. The Republicans are too tactical. I just don't see it fucking happening. But because Trump has done such a phenomenally fucking bad job of this, and because he's publicly done such a fucking bad job of this, there is the very, very small chance

that Joe Biden might actually win. And I'm like, if he does, that's surely a civil war. Oh, mate, it's... There's no way Trump steps down. There's just... He can't make a public appearance now, right? After brutally pushing the public off the streets of Washington so that he could have his Instagram photo at the church,

by threatening an act of war on land because of people exercising their freedom of speech by doing that, he has went from being a nuisance to actually downright hate it to the point people would kill him

I disagree man I really believe the only reason you think that is because you consume our side of the media there's people that's directly affected right like if

if I'd been out and Natalie had got fucking battered off fucking riot police right within a fucking

inch of her life and then he come on and condoned it and then she fucking died or whatever right I'd kill the cunt like I'd fucking make up my life's work'd kill the cunt like I'd fucking make it

my life's work to kill the cunt now this is me saying I'd fucking like there's people in that position there's people whose lives are fucking ruined

because of his hate speech that are willing to fucking lose it all to fucking get him like he kind of got out in public man I think he

I think he I think he'll be fine man never forget how fucking passive white Americans are like if it doesn't directly affect them they don't give a shit so anyway

fucking that aside the fact that I don't think he'll be able to make a public appearance, surely he'd have too much rallies against him now. I'd never want to underestimate America. I really didn't want

to underestimate the stupidity, I mean. I don't want to underestimate the stupidity. But surely, he's just getting... No, no, no. To genuinely be fair to America,

it's not just stupid. It's a mixture of stupidity and apathy and the fact that the system is, you know, set up by the fucking rich white Republicans to make it incredibly difficult. Surely he's getting a shrinking group of extremists now. People that are going to be more hardcore, but less of them.

So people that back Trump because they believed in his foreign policy and they got scared into thinking that there was threats against their borders if they didn't have a fucking strong-arm president which is always seems to be the fucking party line you know tough on crime tough on fucking like terrorism and stuff they had like the more you push that narrative the more you scare your people and then get their back in. So people might have backed him because they feel safe under him and now they don't feel safe

under him because there's wars on the street. A lot of people will recede from him, right? And the people that stand by him will be like a bit more fucking gun-toting hillbilly. But the generally nice people who are just a bit conservative are surely going to recede from him. Alright, I'll make you a bet

that he wins the next election. Oh, what a way to lose money. I know, because it's really tough for you, because if I win, I'm like, well, fuck. I mean, it's the end of the world, but at least I've got money. But for you, it's a double shiter. How about if you

yeah so if I win which I will I'll use the money you give me to spend on a night out for us to get pissed right okay so like we'll take the other one out on the lash right so if Donald Trump doesn't get in

you'll take me out on the lash you'll take me out to, you'll take me out on the lash. You'll take me out to celebrate. No, but I'm betting that he doesn't get in, so you take me out to celebrate. And then if he does get in, I'll take you out to drown my sorrows. Fair enough. But this is another thing. People that take it back to british soil for this

instance it's quite obvious on american soil but on british soil if you vote in the guy who called black people pickininnies and said they had watermelon smiles and had like racist rhetoric if you disregard the flippant racism coming from the man that you're voting in because you want to get brexit done you can't then look at the fucking, the racial tension that's happening now on the streets of London, Manchester, fucking everywhere in the UK, right? You can't look at that and go, oh, out of bloody nowhere,

you're literally voting in a guy who was fucking, like, blatantly racist. It's also, yeah, I mean, you spot on, and also, it just blows my mind the constant narrative of protest uh protesting and the riots are not the way to do it and you go what would it would you what do you want civil disobedience to look like like it's people would just be like i can't believe they're out there on the streets protesting there's nicer ways to do it what nicer way and if it was a nicer way

that's not the fucking point I'm assuming you have seen but if people haven't seen it Trevor Noah did like a genuinely

outstanding amazing 25 minute monologue which was enlightening and funny and harrowing and just that about the breach

of the social contract the breach of the social contract it put breach of the social contract. Put a thousand times more eloquently. Trevor is one of those comedians that's just really good that he manages to succinctly put an opinion directly into your head. You go, good, because when I said it,

I sounded stupid. Yes. Yeah, and it was very stream of consciousness too. He was concise with every word he said. Everything was measured. But you could tell it was off the top of his head. Like he concise with every word he said. Everything was measured. But you could tell it was off the top of his head. That wasn't a scripted piece. That's just something he really thought through.

And he was articulating immaculately. I went on and watched his specials as well. After watching that daily show, I watched his specials. Fucking so good, man. He's such a good comic. I don't think I've show I watched his specials he's fucking so good man he's such a good comic I don't think I've ever actually watched his I've gigged with him and I've seen him live on stage in Australia and he was fucking brilliant then

but that was all audience interaction stuff I don't think I've ever actually seen him do I had him on setlist were you there no he was doing improv on set list and fucking just like one thing with

running that show with it being straight stand up comedians doing improv not improvising comedians doing improv it's such a like it's getting

comedians out of their comfort zone so they're always like fucking like a nervous wreck and you'll see that tics on stage like you'll see

a normally cool composed comedian like fanning on with a mic stand a bit and swinging and emin and erin and swearing more than the word and uh it seems to get the blood pumping of the comedian when trevor noah did it it was like his heart rate was lower than anybody else in the room he was he was cool as fuck about the fact that he was under pressure to create funny from nothing i think that's the i really get the vibe of people like trevor noah is that's the reason why you want to be intelligent just not to show off but to just have this deep well of knowledge just within your consciousness to pull from as opposed to the seven books I've read in the past two years.

Yeah, Andrew Maxwell's good at that. He remembers things he's read. And I know how he does it, but I just can never do it myself. He'll read something. And then upon reading it, he'll tell it to everybody that he sees. And he's always a bit preachy when you see him because he's always like drilling this thing into you. But he's not doing it for your information.

He is a little bit, but he's always like drilling this thing into you. But he's not doing it for your information. He is a little bit, but he's doing it so that he remembers it. If you say it a bunch of times, you'll remember it. Hi, hi, hi, hi. Do not give away this number one secret of stand-up. Yeah, that's... It really is bad. The amount of people that just go, how do you remember what to say for an hour?

And you go, can you remember remember what to say for an hour? And you go, can you remember seven things? Repetition? Repetition once, muscle memory. You know that discussion I wanted to have with you because it seems to be the topic of the day. So it's like, it's getting to the PC gone mad conversation that comes around every

six months, right? Because certain things have been taken off that platform, like Little Britain and is it The Sound of Music? Sound of Music? So is The Sound of Music the one where they're portrayed slaves as being happy? Is it The Sound of Music?

Is it... Oh, fuck. Is it... There's a movie that's really iconic is it oh fuck is it which it's there's a movie that's really iconic but they're it might be

I've never seen The Sound of Music I think it's The Sound of Music right this is fucking again I should just fucking pass on knowledge

as soon as I hear it rather than fucking waiting I feel like The Sound of Music was about Nazis though yes so what is it what is it that I'm talking about then

fuck i mean that's why would you ask me that question how's that my responsibility so there's people screaming at the podcast right now so if they're screaming at the podcast they know the fucking movie that i'm talking about right but the portrayed uh slaves has been like really happy and jolly and like uh kind of in the way minstrels would make it like all like oh they're singing and dancing and having a good time when actually they're fucking having a shit time. They're having the worst time. They're emancipated.

I don't even know what I was looking for. That's divorcing your parents, isn't it? No, no, no. I'm not looking at emancipated slaves. It's letting them go, yeah. Oh, so they're getting, it's glor glorifying it it's almost like making it palatable and they take that they take that movie off whatever platform which it's airing on because they realize it's inappropriate now and everyone fucking gone nuts and you're like whoa but what

if we went back to the time where um where it was commonplace for 14 year olds to have sex with adults right, like go back to a time when people used to die when they were 30 right, they wouldn't glorify it, they wouldn't make that daytime television look back at it with a fucking kind of like the ugly lens that the only way it can be seen

don't make it look like it's fucking Al Peaches and Cream back then and make it daytime viewing, so like I think I think I think a lot of the time the reason it gets taken off is because the people

that get outraged is going right you've missed the point then you think this is about political correctness and you're not just willing to acknowledge

the fact that this blackface is deeply hurtful and has a horrible so that that one has a horrible history and if you're not

willing to if you're not willing to at least bare minimum acknowledge that it's shite, then you don't get to enjoy it anymore, fuck you until you've learned the lesson, you don't get it Yes, and the Little Britain stuff so Little Britain's because

Sorry, I realised I just pitched that as if at the end of it if they stopped being racist I would give them blackface back It was a bad example, I didn't know It pitched that as if at the end of it if they stopped being racist I would give them blackface back it was a bad example I didn't know it wasn't as if a bunch of racists were going to be like hey Daniel we did some research we studied the history of blackface we fully

understand why it's awful can we do it again now and me being like absolutely that's all I wanted that's not what I meant and this is why we didn't do the podcast last week because we're walking through a fucking minefield and my fucking arms and legs are getting blown off

left, right and centre as we try and process it so I I I kind of go right with that

with that entertainment the platform it was on and again here's my ignorance I think it might be Netflix right take it down that's just Netflix's prerogative to just go oh in this current climate I think it might be Netflix right take it down that's just Netflix's

prerogative to just go oh in this current climate I think it's fucking distasteful to have fucking sketches on where people are blacking up for for

amusement of people right it's probably and then we'll probably not put it back on but look it's we're going to take a dude and people are going nuts

they probably didn't want to watch it they probably didn't give a fuck about it and then all of a sudden they're getting pointed in that direction they're going nuts about it and they're going to take a dude and people are going nuts they probably didn't want to watch it they probably didn't give a fuck about it and then all of a sudden they're getting pointed in that direction they're going nuts about it

and they're going oh you get offended by everything we can't crack a joke anymore we can't have fun you know like you can still get it you can still go

and watch Little Britain there's just a platform I've just decided that like they're not going to facilitate it they're not taking it away from you go and get the fucking DVD

fire it back up not the sound of music they should have done what Disney have done with so obviously Disney have been

doing cartoons for you know almost a century now brilliant or maybe more the 1930s stuff I saw that yeah yeah

so they used to have hugely fucking racist caricatures stereotypes and characters in Disney. And they had a great thing. I don't know what it was, but they didn't delete those cartoons. They didn't hide them in the archives.

They put up every time before they played it, they had Whoopi Goldberg basically saying, hey, look, these drawings and these caricatures are deeply offensive. They were're deeply offensive they were wrong then and they are they are wrong now but to ignore them and to pretend they didn't exist is more harmful to the cause so we're going to leave them in as they were drawn then as an example of how incorrect and bad they are and that that's i i like that and I like I watched an old Donald Duck cartoon the other day

and it had the it had the writing before it it just it says like the cultural some of the cultural references are dated and but we're leaving it

exactly what you just said and and I think that's maybe that's maybe a way to do it just just to like say look

we've moved on from this we've moved on from this but this is what on from this, but this is what it was. And maybe it's really complex. And I think everything has to be looked at individually. You can't just have like a blanket thing. It's just the prerogative of Netflix or Amazon or whoever's hosting it. It's their prerogative to go, you know what?

I don't want this. You can get you know what? I don't want this. You can get it elsewhere, but I don't want it. It's their prerogative. Also, also really, and look, and again, we shouldn't be getting judgmental here, but fucking, let's do it. If you're upset, I'll tell you something, Guy.

Your dad is upset that they took the blackface Little Britain off of Netflix. If you're the Guy. Your dad is upset that they took the blackface Little Britain off of Netflix. Like, if you're the type of person that is genuinely upset... To your dad joke. ...and you no longer get to watch it, David fucking Walliams do blackface

in Little Britain. I'm glad you're sad. What a brilliant decision that's ruined your fucking day. I don't care emotionally how it has ruined your day. I'm just glad it has. So this is the hypocrisy of it. It's the fact that people are going,

this is outrageous. People are offended by everything. I can't believe you're offended by Little Britain. Oh my God, there's no sanctuary anymore. There's no blah, blah, blah. They're offended. They're offended at Little Britain being removed. And they're showing their outrage at Little Britain being removed.

Now, some people are offended by the misbetrayal of black people by a white man. And they're offended by that because it's a fucking attack on their identity. You're offended because Little Britain got took down. Like, what the fuck? You're the snowflake dickhead. And not even, not deleted from history, not became illegal, just no longer on Netflix. To be fair, maybe, you don't know.

Did Netflix directly say they took it off because it was blackface or did they take it off because it was fucking Little Britain and they also took Mrs. Brown's Boys off? Perhaps. It might have been timing. But, I mean, the fucking people that created it apologized. It's not like they were wrong. Like, Netflix, the guys fucking owned up and just went,

look, soz. Oops. So Netflix... I'm'm actually going to apologize. Like I said, there's so much stuff where if you look back on yourself and your actions and your words and even if you haven't been hate-filled, you'll probably find some

things you've done. And you're just going, I've got to grow from that. So good on them for going going right look let's evolve from this alright it's like look well look

we've all shat our pants right and sometimes we still shit our pants but the important thing is to change them every time you shit your pants

admit you've shat your pants I love that and change your fucking pants I love that and it's fine yeah that's what it is and look it happens

you get older sometimes you slip up sometimes you could have gone three years without shitting yourself and then one day you've shat yourself and the best thing to do

is to own up and be like I'm sorry I shat myself I've got to change my pants slash who I am and then that's it

instead of being a lot of these people who were just sitting in their shay pads and be like nah no shit in my pants I always smell like

this they're like oh my god I've got shit all the way down my legs on the carpet up the fucking walls this is a big cleanup job for me I'm actually still gonna stink of shit after this no no no and that's why they're all as happy as a pig in shit I think we've stumbled

through enough race yeah I think I think people getting offended thing that's spiked up today

is is like a second wave of people getting offended it's like you know when we do first wave of mugglery

second wave of mugglery aye the first wave of mugglery, second wave of mugglery. Aye. The first wave of muggles are the people doing the Ice Bucket Challenge, the second wave of muggles are the ones getting outraged at it. Aye. It's just that with, like,

people are getting outraged because of Little Britain, people are getting outraged because people are getting outraged in Little Britain, and you're just like, oh, everyone just chills. Everyone just chills, man.

There's a lot of you. But I don't buy into the fact that the first narrative exists. People are outraged at the fact that, you know, Little Britain's on Netflix, it's got blackface. I'm like, first of all, I reckon maybe six people complained, and most other people, you know, when they originally complained, they originally complained when it came out just seven years ago

yeah and it's like so I don't want to open the fucking conversation too heavy on the statues thing because that's probably a bigger conversation than the ten minutes we've got left but when we're talking about

the statues there's one thing I've seen coming from the people that oppose Black Lives Matter is that actually I took on board it's like at what point do you just fucking bring down the pyramids and you look at that and go can it be rash with every

like historic feature that is but we need to have the conversation about each and every here's the difference pyramids were built by slaves and

yeah don't bring down Bristol they're not bringing down Bristol they're bringing down the statue of the fucking slave owner of Bristol they're not compatible. Go fuck yourselves. So, right, I think it's fucking Belter that brought down that, right?

I wouldn't have said, I think we should all run into the fucking town hall, pull down the statue, hide it in the fucking harbour, right? I think it's Belter that did it. But they kind of keep running with that rash approach and just bring down every statue. Each one's its own conversation. Each one, they'll need quietly de-plinted, put in a museum and all that you kind of just fucking run run pitchforking fucking statues because it's gonna be antagonistic right but

what i what i do love about the first statue that went down and little britain coming off the telly is it sparked the conversation boom boom them conversations have been hard and in this giant brain that we're in, there were these conversations. They're two big catalysts for conversation right now. And I'm glad for that. I'm just going, right. So people are addressing this now.

Some people are vehement on either end. Some people are extremist on either end. But if the majority of the conversation's in the middle, we might come up with fucking answers for all of it Hippie I'm probably hippie with a knitted face mask

Right you had I wrote something the other day and we didn't do them did we because you were high I said that like I was probably judgemental that like I was quite judgmental I was about to say I'm high now

Your dad tried to hang himself but got stuck in the tree and the fire brigade had to come and get him down Your dad got disqualified From Crufts Because he got it mixed up When the dog led him

Through all of the obstacles Your dad's work Has free car Free car parking So he just leaves his car there And gets a lift to and from Work from Dave Pays petrol money though

Obviously Hold on Spell that out for us Your dad's work Has free parking So he just leaves his car there and gets left to and from work from Dave. Pays petrol money, though, obviously.

Nice. Must have to pay for parking at home. Your dad... I can't read my own handwriting on my phone. Your dad is frightened for his life, morning, noon and night, for no apparent reason he just lives like a

startled mouse your dad shits with his legs up in stirrups he's a terrible horse rider your dad kept deflating so I

had to get a valve fitted on his hip so it could blow him back up. You know how people can open beer bottles with their belly buttons? Your dad can do it with tuna cans. Your dad insists on chopping vegetables with his hands because he knows karate.

Your dad thinks all lives matter oh dad he doesn't actually he doesn't it's just not fucking good on you

it's not his vibe it's very pro pro black lives matter okay I'm like just want to clear that up that's why that's why

there's always two and two in black in my army is that not what that means oh mate that's actually fucking Gan always two and two in black and white army is that not what that means that's actually fucking Ganrunda's memes

they did a race relations campaign in the 80s with a black hand shaking a white hand going

Newcastle's black and white that started resurfacing it's quite nice your dad always corrects people who call it

tinfoil because after World War 2 tin was superseded by the cheaper and more durable aluminium well I mean first of all yeah he does do that

try and deny that about your dad I'm like all I've worked at at the moment is you tweeting the word tinfoil and my dad correcting you is that what happened no no but if your dad doesn't say it you know how he thinks it all I've worked at the moment is you tweeting the word tinfoil and my dad correcting me is that what happened? no no but if your dad doesn't say it you know how he thinks it

he's probably stopped fighting that battle years ago no no me and my dad are still two people that were like we're those type of cunts that whenever you're watching Lord of the Rings

and Aragorn kicks the fucking helmet that you go do you know he broke his foot when he did that like that's I do that

every time I watch that movie that's me and my dad in a nutshell so do you think we can post

this one do you think we got through did we get through that okay white boy aye aye as long as

people understand that none of what we said is a conclusion none of what we like this is like we're aye aye as long as as long as people understand that none of what we said is a conclusion none of what we like this is like we're yeah

these are just thoughts in process aye this is escapism for you it's not this isn't your education this isn't your knowledge so

alright no I think it was good yeah alright mate I'll see you I'll see you in the Dungeons and Dragons realm oh well I'll see you then bye