Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Scheme Juice

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Why not get your relationship advice from two happily married men. Muggins and Cream talk about break ups, cheating, people who get out of a long term relationship but move straight on to the next one, and of course, people who break up with their partner slag them off to all their pals, then get back together. They also get into how man console each other. #6

Sloss and Humphries on the road! Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin', livin' the dream And that's our intro Fuckin' muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head that makes you laugh Woohoo! They said it can't be done! Are we in the same seats?

That's hack Ah, muggles! Accidental rim job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or am I just being cynical? Just muggled it up on fuckin' Mugglepedia Where have you been since 9-11? We need to Put a ban

On Nutella You can't ban Nutella I'm banning Nutella No that means you're banning Ferrero Roches Yeah okay Are you cool with that? Are you 97 years old? I'm banning Ferrero Roches

It's like a nice crispy Val and Nutella. Exactly. I just... Here's my problem and me and my wife share this problem. The reason we hate Nutella so very much. Now, we will bear some responsibility.

It's on us for not assuming that it tastes like nuts considering it's called Nutella. Fair enough, right? Are you complaining that peanut butter tastes like nuts considering it's called Nutella. Nutella, yeah. Fair enough, right? Are you complaining that peanut butter tastes like nuts? I'm complaining that everywhere seems to think that Nutella is a direct replacement for chocolate sauce, which it is absolutely not.

You went for pancakes, didn't you? Well, we're in Belgium, home of the fucking Belgian waffle. We're going around for things. And lots of them because it's belgian they've got offensive about the hazelnut tint of nutella i just ate you know what if i if i wanted nutty chocolate spread then that's what i would definitely go for i don't want nutty chocolate spread i don't think nuts and chocolate make too much of a good combination i don't here's here's the thing, man. Nutty M&M's are not as good as regular M&M's and regular M&M's are fucking shit.

M&M's are the most overrated shit. I think we even covered, we covered this in Muggle Corner in like 2016. Yeah. That like, that has got no right to have real estate

and that's the square. Pure marketing. Imagine if Coca-Cola actually tasted like dog shit. That's what M&M has managed to do. They're pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. It's remarkable.

I think, if I remember my seven years ago opinion, it's like having double decker store. Hey, double deckers are delicious. They're fine. They're fine. They're no one's first choice. How fucking Ferrero Rocher is. No one dibs his Ferrero Rocher.

Huh? How Ferrero Rocher is. It's not even in the same category. Ferrero Rocher is It's not even The same category Ferrero Rocher Above a double decker Are you a psychopath? No I take a double decker But you're not offering

The two of the same things Explain You're offering As a sweet or a chocolate bar I don't Like Chocolate bars Way more substantial

It's like you're offering It's like you know When Mids mother would go Do you want a biscuit? And you go in Expect a biscuit And there's like

Kit Kats and Rocky Robbins And you're like Fucking go, do you want a biscuit? And you go, and then expect a biscuit and there's like Kit Kats and Rocky Robbins and you're like, fucking class, man. It's not a biscuit. Aye. I imagine that's how,

it's a chocolate bar, that. I imagine that's how a lot of, like, English kids feel when they go to a Scottish family and the Scottish family go, do you want any juice?

And they're like, I'm about to get some fucking apple juice. And then Iron Brew gets put in front of them. That's not juice, that's pop. No, it's juice. I thought I was going to get diluted juice and. And then Iron Brew gets put in front of you. That's not juice, that's pop. No, it was juice. I thought I was going to get diluted juice and I got pop.

I've just been upgraded. I've just been put in first class. I turned left. For international listeners, I'm sure we've said this on the podcast before. In Scotland, juice just means any drink that isn't water. It covets apple juice apple juice pineapple juice fizzy juice Yes, Kyle. We don't squash like the stuff at the core deal the thing that's diluting juice. That's just that you dilute Yeah, oh a very German way of naming it. You called what a council pop council juice council juice

Oh Scheme juices come I could do scheme juice as well scheme juice is calm I think I've got scheme juice all over me tits that's the working class version of Soaky Biscuit you've got scheme juice in me hair scheme pop

scheme pop sounds like a type of music does it? Scotland's answer to K-Pop Lots of music people got fingered to For the first time People MC over the top of it Here's a question for you You know when you're like a teenager

The most sexual thing in the world The most I guess common sexual thing in the world Apart from like kissing and stuff Is when you're drinking It's fingering right You have to finger a girl Yeah Do gay boys finger each other?

Straight up the bum First date Necking on in the park Well I mean how's it different to Or would they Because they just have a rummage run there Because like you're grabbing genitals You're grabbing them by the pussy.

It's not a direct replacement, finger in a butthole, isn't a direct replacement from finger in a... The direct replacement would be grabbing a cock. But, yeah, I take your point. Getting a fistful. Yeah, because I guess... You're not going to wank them to completion, but when we're doing finger in the park,

if we thought we were doing that at completion. You're waiting for the sun to come back up. The adults would find us and explain to us what to do. Well, yeah, I guess your point, because as a straight boy, you're not fingering a girl's bum hole. I get you. Yeah.

I'm not just bypassing. No. Don't bring the boys up. Green gut. I'd pass on everybody that's i've definitely said this before that is a type of prejudice i am completely and utterly fine with right i dislike homophobia i dislike transphobia you can say whatever you want to any of the fucking boys and i i'm not i couldn't give a shit man i just don't i just do not believe that your suffering is even fucking comparable i tried to get a routine in about it in me uh last show is that like you know when you go lgbtq

plus um by saying b the only part that you only part that is part of the struggle is the gay part of your bisexuality. The straight part of your bisexuality is getting smuggled in there. You're smuggling straight into the struggle. The straight bit isn't part of the struggle. But I guess you don't want to be labelled as gay if you're not. So that's why they're saying, like, I'm bi. I struggle with people being homophobic, but I'm not gay.

So there's that. But it does feel like it's gay on straight shoulders in a trench coat. Yeah, yeah. It's also, I will also add, bi's, I don't, you know, I think you're cool. I have nothing against you.

I just do not care about any of your suffering. Jealous of bi's? I'd be bi. Aye. Yeah, like if... I wouldn't be bi any of your sufferers. Jealous of bi's? I'd be bi. Aye. Yeah, like, if... I wouldn't be bi as a married man. Like, it doesn't matter to us now. Like, it doesn't...

That's why, like, I find it strange. I mean, I'm just... It's ignorance that I'm saying when I find it strange. Like, you know when someone's bisexual and then they marry in a monogamous relationship and they still identify as bi? Like, is that not like identifying i guess it is identifying as an alcoholic when you've quit alcohol but i'm an alcoholic but i just don't

drink anymore yeah that is so it's just like that it's like a bye but like i'm straight i'm straight for the rest of my life all right but i'm by though but if you were to offer me if he tries anything i'm eating pussy i'm just putting it out there Look I've committed to this For the rest of my life But if If I was in a

If I was in a bad place At a moment of weakness And you were to offer me Fresh gash I don't think I'd be able To turn it down Keep it away from me Sorry

I can't You're too beautiful I can't But If you leave me I'm going Yeah yeah yeah yeah I also think

see what's the people who don't like sex at all is that asexuals yes you don't you don't get to be part

of the LGBTQ community either you lot I'm sorry like I'm sorry if you're not you're like the sexual version of people that call football

the kicky ball thing yeah you're just it's none of it's for you like I don't think you get to identify with the queers because you're very grey. They're the rainbow.

There's no grey in a rainbow. Nah. Nah. You're the cloud that just moved so that we can see the rainbow. No, no,

no, not to be too horrible to like asexual, but man, if you don't want to fuck, you don't want to fuck. They're just atheists. But that's the thing,

they're atheists that are like please please include me in all religious debates and as an atheist i'm like don't fucking don't include me in anywhere in the area even though i will have me two pennies from over here aye aye but i'm not i don't want to be part of your belief system it's the lack of say me saying that i'd like to have been I bet the LGBTs Are fucking thrilled That we're having this conversation I bet they're sat Listening to this

Being like Thank God It's the voice that was needed About time I've always wanted to know What these two Poorly educated fucks Thought about

My life Well you're in luck Yeah We're about to expand Aye Not only that We charged you for it We've not Actually We've got it mixed up This one is The public episode Oh is this one We're about to expand. Aye. Not only that, we charged you for it.

We've not put this... Actually, we've got it mixed up. This one is the public episode. Oh, is this one? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. We're just ahead of ourselves, so you're getting this opinion. No, we need you to have this opinion. We would not put this behind a paywall.

This is a gift to society. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have I thought it through when I say I wish I was bisexual, right? Because when I was... Do I was bisexual, right? Because when I was... Do you wish you were bisexual? When I was single, I would have considered it that the discrimination of the homosexuality side of it aside, right? Just my personal end away, right?

Options are way more open. And not just open, but open to people who are more likely to fuck us. I feel like gay dudes are way more likely to fuck me than straight women. If you want to do a poll yeah because you're a fetish to gay men because you're like working class

you're a bit rough you're scum diamond in the rough that's what he said isn't it little diamond in the rough like rehabilitated chav scummy batman

you call those I do call you scummy batman but that's just with you that's because of your innate sense of justice But on the good team So I think I like I would be

A lot more productive In my single life If I was bisexual However Yeah yeah yeah I cannot say that I wouldn't Ruin some of my friendships I'll junk and hold it

do you reckon I'll kick in one of these lads hold on so you're telling me if you were bisexual you would be the gay man that homophobic men fear exists that stupid thing that straight men do when one of their gay friends

comes out and be like does that mean you fancy me and they go well no and they're like oh why not well I've never done that with any of my female friends I banged on most of my female friends so I know what I'd be like

but like I tend not to go on lasses holders if I went on A lass's holder With me female friends It may be awkward By the time we get back I mean I think This is just

I was going back around To just say That even though We're both Happily Married And I love Canada

With all my heart Still do have An appreciation Just for their service Of Regards of gender. Sluts. Mm-hmm. I've always been...

They're class. I was going to say ambassador. Just say I'm one. It's just... Yeah, I really appreciate them. Oh, man. I don't even think it should even be considered slut-shaming when it's something you should be absolutely proud of.

Oh, no, no. I'm absolutely fine with slut-shaming. Like's something you should be absolutely proud of oh no no i'm absolutely fine with slut shaming like because you can't shame me with it but you used to be a slut i'm like i absolutely used to be a slut i had a lot a lot of fun a lot of good times when i was a slut there's any shame come any shame a little bit but that's just me. My shame was probably with me, like, bragginess. Yeah. Like, showing off that I was, like, texting multiple lasses at one time or whatever. Yeah, when I'm in my 20s. Yeah, my shame is similar.

The shame of the callousness. I think I was maybe a little bit, like, on the side of disrespectful to the girls involved. Yeah, just not really taking all of their feelings into account and being sort of, not necessarily dismissive. Being a little bit number driven. Aye. Shallow. As if I was like clocking stats. Aye.

Yeah, almost dehumanising reducing the person to a number instead of what the best type of sluttery, which is, hey, we're both here to just fucking be silly. Just saying that I'm woke, I'd be shite. I'd be absolutely shite. Oh, no, I think I was a pretty woke slut. Like, I've no doubt got things wrong,

but, like, I think I had always been like, here's the deal, like, I'm not looking for a relationship. Man, the entire stuff... I feel like now it would just be like, everything would become almost relationships straight away if I was single now. Because I'd think there'd be too much involvement or something. I'd say they're more than just like a booty call.

Yeah. I don't know. I think I'd be too kind. Do you reckon you can... Too attached. You can be a slut in your teens, though I don't recommend it, because that you reckon you can Too attached Not too attached You can be a slut in your teens Though I don't recommend it Because that's when you're sort of discovering your body

And your sexuality And what you like and stuff And it's probably It's a very informative time of your life And I know it doesn't feel like that when you're a teenager Because it's the first time that you're considered an adult But as somebody who's 33 And barely considers them an adult

Now 18 year olds are not adults No They're fucking I they're just... I think 18-year-olds aren't adults, and like lads in their 20s aren't adults. No. I think lasses grow up quick. Yeah, because they have to,

because we're childish fucks. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't imagine being a slut in your 30s is good fun, because I reckon, and maybe, and excuse me if this is, surely you're just left with, in your 30s, you're left with the dregs, right? In your 20s, you still got the people that are living their lives,

experiencing things, they don't want to settle down until they're 30. When you're in your 40s, you've got the people who got married when they were late teens, early 20s, who are divorced and have got like a new lease on life. I reckon being a slut in your 40s, it's class. that's like fuck it who gives a shit i reckon being a slut in your 30s is fucking trying to shop in saintsbury's on day two of the covid lockdown just everyone's everyone's panic pot yeah you're really creepy older guy if you're going out drinking like if you're trying to pull on nights out and maybe and maybe this isn. Like, if you're trying to pull a night's out.

And maybe this isn't the case. And feel free to say, hey, there's any sluts in their 30 out there, please do email in. Because, like, in our group, we have friends who are single and friends who are in relationships. And when we were single, our friends, we used to, like, live vicariously through us and, like, tell the stories. I don't necessarily live vicariously through my friends who are single. I like hearing the story of both my female friends and my male friends

conquest when they're gay. I'm like, fucking tell me about it, man. Like I loved, you know, it'd be like, you know,

just cause you start playing football doesn't mean you stop commentating on it. Yeah. You still watch the game. Still shout at the telly. Yeah. Yeah. I like hearing all of the uh the stories and shit

so if you're if you're one of our friends had a shite date the other night because the girl was identical to his ex yeah we're getting blow by blow county was like i just got the bus home there's no point just dressed the same probably a perfectly sound girl, but he's just like, no, it's not what I'm after. We have another friend of ours who was in a relationship for over a decade. Oh, yeah. Didn't get engaged, which, by the way, and I know this might be a controversial opinion because I'm calling out a lot of friends here,

utterly disrespectful. It's only disrespectful if the if if the both as a team like believe in marriage and then still don't do it but like people who don't believe

in the institution of marriage stay together for 20 years agree 100% I think I think there's couples out there but there is couples

that also believe in marriage and love a wedding that are just like do do do put it off a little bit longer 10 years is fucking outright disrespectful.

Yeah, you haven't made your mind up yet, have you? Yeah. It's the prospect. What's the... I left mine six years. I was just swirling my cognac. Because I didn't feel like it was right to propose when I was in shit tons of debt

and I wasn't in good shape there was this spell when I was like I can't offer that do you want half of this debt and this good so I was like right get yourself in a position where you feel like you're like offering something good for the rest of my life and then

I sorted myself out and proposed and then let myself go right I our friend who was in a relationship for over a decade didn't get engaged

got out of his relationship over a decade and stayed single for how many days several days that never less less than 14

which to me here's if you're in a long term relationship and you get out of a long term relationship my number one bit of advice my number one bit one year minimum one year one year minimum i meant i met natalie halfway through my one year and just like had to create distance and be like i need this one year otherwise they'll be resentful when you get out of a long-term relationship so much of who you are wasn't necessarily depending on the other person but you were part of a couple and and over the years like your interests intertwined and who you are and you you learned

how to talk to each other and then you eventually fell out and fell out of love or whatever you need time to shed the bits of them and the couple you that you don't like anymore and keep the bits that that person helped you grow with because you know getting a long term relationship sucks but you can still be grateful for the person for the positive the growth that they fucking gave you but you have to be single for at least a fucking year if you're still

finding the ex's hair bubbles in your hoose oh man it's too soon getting out of a 10 year relationship you know what getting straight back into a relationship a month later is like getting out of prison after 16 years and stabbing the receptionist on the way out

in the fucking neck. It's the dumbest thing I have ever and also by the way if you've ever done this I do not respect your new partner a single bit.

You're one going to take all of the baggage that was in your last relationship that caused it to end and you're just going to transplant that because you haven't unpacked it yet you haven't sorted any of that out that went wrong and just figured it out in your own head before you went into the next one so you actually just leaving your baggage at the next person's door two it

lights up that i've cheated on your beacon it looks like you already had your hand on that branch before you let go of the other one excellent point and fucking like i've i've seen i've seen that a number of times when i'm like fucking uh-huh you'd already lined you know that was a relay race it was already in your fucking hand you'd started running yeah and if that's how our relationship starts guess what motherfucker that's how it ends i and again i don't mind people who like if you're not a slut i know we do a lot of slut praising here i think for balance we should also hey if you are asexual you're somebody that's just like i just in an ideal world i'd like to find the person you know

i want to fuck for the rest of my life and be with them that's a noble pursuit and and you know i fucking respect that zero respect for just cheating in a'm like i do i say this i had something have you cheated before yeah i were obviously in previous relationships i have yeah so that's why like i i try not to be too heavy-handed on people that day because i've been in a position in my head where i didn't i didn't have the fucking balls to break up with her in fact you know how mine went I did break up with her and she kind of just rejected the breakup but I'd already made a decision in my head

and that's when it all felt as shit for me so I stayed with her, I'm on the road a lot I should have just been a bit more heavy handed with a breakup instead of just like I think we should I cheated once on an ex-girlfriend of mine. And then broke up with her straight away.

I broke up with her the next day. I broke up with her the next day. Because the second, don't get me wrong, I was drunk. But again, being drunk is an excuse because a lot of the time it just brings out, it lowers your ambitions, it brings out the deeper you. But that's what I realised. I'm like, if I'm drunk and I'm willing to cheat on this person, I don't love them. Because, man, I have been steaming fucking drunk.

I've been on heaps of fucking drugs, and I've been away from home for a long period of time. And I've had people throw themselves at me when I'm with Cara. And I'm like, no, thank you. It's a non-negotiable. It's like no matter how drunk you get, you're not going to neck on with your dad. Well, let's not. Hey, that's a bit heavy-handed. I thought you said you wouldn't cheat. It's not cheating if matter how drunk you get You're not going to neck on with your dad Well let's not

Hey that's a bit heavy handed No I thought you said you wouldn't cheat It's not cheating if it's in the family And I Look here's the thing I felt immensely guilty for cheating I didn't tell her that I cheated on her No that's your cross to bear

Why give somebody that insecurity For the rest of their fucking life It didn't tell her that I cheated on her no that's your that's your cross to bear why give somebody that insecurity for the rest of their fucking life it didn't damage that next relationship what a horrible thing to do to someone

get out of there clean cauterise that wound and also if you've already been an arsehole then go out of the room don't be an arsehole

to them but break up with them and if they fucking hate you because it seems out of nowhere and they're like I deserve more

of an explanation not if my explanation is going to give you trust issues that you don't deserve because me cheating on you had nothing to do with you it was my insecurities it was my fucking feelings and it was my lack of maturity or readiness for this relationship and it would be very unfair to be what is what does she have that I don't nothing I was I was drunk and i don't love you it's absolutely just like if to get touched your last you deal with that but my conscience is clear i told you and i broke up with you i was honest honestly and then just like walk away with a clear head and she's just there going right i'll never trust anyone again in my life um here's a

bit of obvious advice if you do break up with your partner, don't slag them off to your mates and then get back with them. That is the... A tale as old as time. Because when you do that, your friends already fucking choose your camp because they're your mate. Even if you're fucking wrong half the time,

they'll just fucking join in with your slagging. Aye. And they've already made the decision in their head. Like, you might have got back with them, but your mates haven't. So now all of a sudden, like, you've just made it so none of your mates have got any respect for your boyfriend. If you break up with someone

and then slag them off to your mates, and then get back together, you either have to break up with that person again or break up with your fucking mates. And if you're my mate and you get back with a fucking person that you've broken up with, nothing. Oh, that's not true.

Three years. Three years. You've got to pass a serious probation. Yeah, there's a lot. Yeah, because to be fair, I do know people who, I do know people who broke up. Didn't slag them off though.

Didn't. Yeah, you're right. Didn't slag them off. Yeah, you're right. Didn't slag them off. Yeah, you're right. Didn't lobby for support. Yeah, yeah, they did. Were deeply sad during the breakup. Realised that they wanted to have another shot at it and got back.

And they're exactly the people you're on about. Yeah, you're right. And we respected their relationship and we were sad when they broke up and we were happy when they got back together. It's a completely different scenario to the fucking volatile nature of breaking up with someone calling them all the names under the sun

getting back with them and still expecting them to get plus one invites to shit absolute fucking nonsense do you remember

just going back to the day that I broke up with the girl that I cheated on how much do you remember about that day

it was at a house party. No. And you did it in a bush? Oh, the cheating, yes. But I mean when it did. This is, look, this is an awful story which I don't come across well. The girl was one of your friends. Uh huh. Uh huh. Man, even worse.

It goes back to what we were talking about before. Even worse than this this I was so drunk which doesn't excuse anything I was always going to have sex with this person probably and I'm a bad person for all of this I accept this is one of the many many failings I have had

as a man in my life and I talk about them and I laugh about them not to boast about them and not to but just because it's in the tapestry of your life i'm not gonna pretend it didn't happen part of growth is acknowledging like the other the bits like i'm not a perfect person i and also i have no obligation to be a perfect person but when i do grow and change i i have this is the small print that i always put on the Bull Run story.

If I ever talk about the Bull Run and the ethics of it, I'll always, like, pre-fix it with that and go, but it did happen, so I'm going to talk about it. Jean could clearly see... Me and Jean, when we were best friends, she could see that my relationship was getting towards the end. Also, she didn't respect the relationship in the first place.

She was like, you don't, she was like, you like this person because they're a really good person, but you're not in love with them and you don't want to be in a relationship with them. You want to be in a relationship with them. And you're in quite a fledgling part of your career where like part of it is the attention you're getting.

And this person, when I asked them out, even said to me, and this is, again, another reason why I'm a piece of shit. When I said, do you want to be my girlfriend? She was like, no, because you don't want a relationship. You just think you want a relationship because we've been having sex for a long period of time. And your weird moral compass means,

she's like, if you actually want a relationship, then I will head into a relationship. But you are not ready and do not want a relationship. And I was like like this much two months later i'm like god i did not want a relationship jesus if only somebody had warned me she did my girlfriend like this fucking guy who tell them so gene was like just all the girls in your life going we're trying to tell him how he was thinking yeah yeah yeah so gene was like break up with her and then live your fucking life and i'm like absolutely she can see it in my eyes that night that like, this other person

is flirting with me. I'm flirting back. We're clearly drunk. We're clearly, Jean keeps following us from room to room because she's like, if I give you any fucking privacy,

you're just going to do what you did. So we went outside and we panked in a book. You just got some chloroform. Drug Jean. To be fair, to be fair, to be fair,

we didn't have, we didn't have sex. We kissed Just for the record That wasn't Jean No no no No no no It wasn't Jean

It wasn't Destiny Clark From Jean No no So me in this part When I say cheat I kissed I kissed And I'm pretty sure like

I think like Maybe got like A bit of a drunken Handjob Blowjob Fumble sort of thing But Kissing's still cheating so uh next day wake up

gene rightfully fucking bollocks me gives me a lecture on uh just how pathetic it was and how the opportunity to do the right that the thing i wanted to do there was a good way to do it and i actively chose not to do the good way of doing it, which was a bad, which a bad person. So I felt fucking bad. And I'd already, I felt bad without the lecture. I was like, I'm going to break up with this person. I go along to break up with her.

We, it's probably, I mean, there's no perfect time to break up with someone ever. That's the thing. If you're thinking about breaking up with somebody, just do it. Stop waiting for this perfect moment. There's no, there's no perfect time to break up with someone ever That's the thing If you're thinking about breaking up with someone Just do it Stop waiting for this perfect moment There's no There's no perfect time No there is

To pull the rug from underneath someone's feet There absolutely is After Christmas before Valentine's Day The transfer window Yeah No I You haven't even got a holder booked You haven't booked your summer holiday yet

You've got Christmas out the way You can't smile through You can't accept gifts from someone You know you're going to dump in January Spoil them Spoil them rotten Spoil them rotten mate Why have you bought me three iPads?

Tinder? Because I've got five using it like Minority Report Getting ready for January baby because here's the thing there's seven other people in relationships who I think are also going to get out

when they're in January so I need to get in quick here ba ba ba ba ba everyone's doing it then you're having like Christmas dinner with his family mentally saying goodbye

I don't know it's goodbye but you do same as the dog when he took you through behind the tree it's like getting to go to your own funeral you can't think you just mentally to go to your own funeral. You can't think.

You're just mentally saying goodbye to your partner's family. Just enjoy your partner's mother's cooking one last time. So I go in. I break up with her. It's an amicable enough breakup. It was very much hard being like, I fucking told you, you didn't want a relationship.

And you've been like, I know, you should have fought harder. You're a weak woman. I know, you just... Gaslighting her. She was like, why didn't you just listen to me?

I'm like, bitch, I'm explaining, okay? No. Zip it. I'm like bitch I'm explaining okay no so zip it I'm mansplaining it there so it's amicable

enough I mean we were both crying we were both upset and it was very much like me profusely apologising it's such a sad time

it sucks man all breakups suck totally suck even the ones where you are able to like remain friends afterwards the relationships that are really fucking healthy and when you like get out of them you look they're still paying it's still fucking but like the other person helped you grow

and they were a really important part of your life and you don't resent them and you don't hate them if you've got it it's it's those relationships suck to get out of because you're just like man you would be so perfect for anyone else but after four years with it's not me and like now that i've spent all the time getting to know you and you getting to know me and we both love each other we both love the person but it's not those fucking suck shit because it must be easy to break up with a cheater be like you know all right damage is done is done is that maybe the counter argument from what we were saying earlier about not

telling them the cheating I think if you break up with someone when the relationship's going well like we both have do you think that gives them trust issues as well because they're like they now like say the relationship going well is a trigger like am I delusional is this

relationship not actually going well hmm I trigger. Like, am I delusional? Is this relationship not actually going well? Hmm. I don't, well, it depends, depends on how honest, depends what the breakup's like. Mine was fucked up

because mine was, our relationship was perfect when I worked at a leisure centre and we had our shifts. But when I started travelling, that wasn't the world she signed up for.

Now it was the world she was in and we would just become super incompatible and I literally chose my career. But when I started travelling, that wasn't the world she signed up for. Now it was the world she was in. And we'd just become super incompatible. And I literally chose my career over her. That's what happened there. So I didn't think that would come with too much trust as you. Aye.

I'll tell you what I miss. What? I miss being a teenager. No, I don't miss it because I don't want to break up with Gareth. I really miss being super awkward. Clumsy. I miss being able to, you know, this is my opinion now as a marriage manager who does not want to leave his wife, but I mean just

talking about breakups. I miss when you could just text someone you're dumped. That was class. I know it was callous and I know we were all immature and we didn't have the empathy required to be adults and as a teenager to get that text

was awful it's just like two words you're dumped you're like convenient though your phone just fucking beeps

and it's like you've only got 9p credit and the text message has got 12p I can't even say I need to get a 10 pound little

scratch card from the shop I'm not spending 10 pound to break up with me last time. I guess we'll stay with that. At least until I get my free text back. Start the fucking dolphin package. So me and this girl break up. I get into, I think like, I think I'd managed to like,

we were like, it It was graceful crying. It was acknowledging each other's emotions and being fucking sad. You think men can cry gracefully? You've got another thing coming. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love to...

Men can cry. Yeah, absolutely. But whether it's gracefully... Don't think for a second you're doing it with grace. Let's ask Kara if I cry gracefully. Because she sees me cry minimum once a week. I think you've cried disgracefully. Yeah.

I don't think I've... I've seen you cry a couple of times lately. You go blotchy. It's not just the tears. If you just had tears, you'd get this blotchy little fucking... It looks like Jolinton's heat map. You've got this bludgeoning little fucking... Looks like Jolinton's heat map. See, I don't know if you get this with your wife,

but when you phone them and they don't answer, and you're like, you are never not on your fucking phone. I don't know where she's upstairs with her son. Yeah, she may be having a nap with him. Natalie doesn't spend a great deal of time on her phone. She's like old school, old man. I go through phases like that and I love when I'm in that phase.

Anyway, back to the original story. And you can talk about me crying here. I get to the car afterwards. I get into the car and I feel like really guilty and awful. I've gone through a breakup and I start blubbering in the car quite an LTSR no real one wait man

it was all me it was like it was self-loathing tears it was like I hurt this person's feelings they gave me poor them no but

you're awful mean like man hurting someone's not a nice at least not for me like I don't take any less of look like you're funny

so a nice at least not for me like I don't take any less of look that you're funny so I get in the car I fucking start bawling I phone Jean up I think she'd just gone to Australia at this point

or she was away somewhere and I phoned her up and she was like she was glad she couldn't be there because we had a

break up tradition which was whenever the other person broke up the other person would come round to their house with two tubs of And she was like, she was glad she couldn't be there because we had a breakup tradition, which is whenever the other person broke up, the other person would come round to their house with two tubs of ice cream. Ben and Jerry's over, have a foursome. I mean, it was Ben and Jerry's. It was two bottles of wine. Slang kits.

Slang kits. And we would watch Mean Girls. And then afterwards, and we'd speak of the relationship and we'd have a good long cry. And then the next morning when you were both hungover, the first thing you had to say

to the other person, which was at the Rising of the Phoenix because the breakup had happened. It was Jean, Jean Grey. No, but sure. No, but sure. No, but sure. The spinoff of Yes, But Why.

Yeah. really shit improv no but sure not yes and no but okay yeah yeah yeah I imagine that's

most like gay dating is no but fine ah yeah do you want to fuck everyone so Jane's on the phone and she's like well there's nothing I can do to make you feel better like you're just going to fucking hate yourself and I'm like Do you want to fuck? Not everyone. So,

Jane's on the phone and she's like, well, there's nothing I can do to make you feel better. Like, you're just going to fucking hate yourself. And I'm like,

man, I'm just about to go back home. I'm like, 24, I think at this point. You're living with, we're living together

at this point. And I'm like, I... You don't want to cry with me. I do not want to cry with you. I do not want you to... Some ice cream, get some brasses.

Eat the ice cream out their ass. Does this make it any better? No, no, that's vanilla. For those that might not know, brasses means sex worker. It's Cockney rhyming slang. Brass door, whore. Brasses.

Don't make it sound bad. Well, because he's the he's Cockney rhyming slang Doesn't work with sex workers Does it Because it's too long That's the problem with liberalism Spelling things out And being conscious of

Of titles Doesn't really Berserker Berserker Sex worker Twerker Oh Can't ring worker and twerker

It's like the same thing innit A next berserker You kind of double barrel A hexjerker A hexjerker That's just what it is Something burka but I think that would be offensive A

Mex burka Get a couple of mex burkas round Mexican Muslims. No, prostitutes. Oh, man, entirely different. Thank God I didn't bring... The opposite. Thank God I didn't bring round those sombrero-wearing Muslims. The full niqab and a sombrero.

Also made it to tears To pick it up To hummus on the top The Mexican's like You needed a work guy? Not that kind Don't need the garden done Man with the way

Immigrants Again I will get back To the breakup story Are there Are there Mexican Muslims? None alive What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?

I'm suggesting a heavy hand with the tolerance, but I don't think they are. Oh, right. Oh, right. Have you got more whiskey? No, I don't. Hey, darling. Hello, you phoned?

I did. Just a quick, you're on the podcast. Oh, no. Is he as graceful as Daniel? It's just a quick question. It's exactly how you sound. You got your answer. Have we just woken him up?

No, no, I woke him up, but he was pissed off. Are you with Matty? Are you at Matty's wedding? Oh. Oh. with Matty? Are you at Matty's wedding? Oh, poop.

Class content, this. You're making everyone on the podcast sad. I know. Poop baby, your mate. Just for context, he never normally cries. He can't suck out his juice from the cup.

Scheme juice. Cara, am I a graceful crier? No Nobody's a graceful crier Okay What do I look like when I cry? How do you feel when I cry? I get uncomfortable when anyone cries

How are you feeling now? I get uncomfortable I'll let you get back to the point. I just wanted to know. Okay, make yourself comfortable and you scrunch your face up. I scrunch my face up? Yeah. Do you, is there any part of you that when you see me cry, because in my head, you're like,

I'm so lucky that I married a man who shows his emotions. Is that true? Because you cry over things that don't need to be cried for. Give me an example. Pick your battles. don't need to be cried at. Give me an example. Pick your battles. You cry at movies

that don't necessarily lead you to have to. I cry, I've cried at more Grey's Anatomy episodes than you have, comfortably. Yep, yep. Caelan, like, gave you a hug and you cried at that. Oh, that's cute. Yeah, he did.

Matthew, delete that. Oh, that's cute. Yeah, he did. Hey, buddy boy. Matthew, delete that. Delete that bit. Doesn't make people think he's cute. All right, darling. Thank you. That's... Did it all come to an end

on the cute one? Dad? Yeah? Hey, buds. Say hi. Hey, buddy boy. Did you have a good nap he was he was very funny yesterday

doing soundcheck oh god yeah yeah we'll go and talk about this can you pass the phone back to mum dickhead I'm back oh right right I'll see you in about

15 minutes when I'm upstairs okay bye love you so you scrunch up your face when you're crying. You cry like a leaky butthole. An over-fucked butthole. So we'll talk about my son in a minute. Let's finish this goddamn fucking story.

I then drive. Jean's not there. I don't have my fucking comfort blanket of Jean's not there I don't have my fucking comfort blanket of a human being I don't have my traditional like we're a breakup thing

and I need somebody that I man I'm a very emotional person and I need to let my emotions out and where we were at our stage

in fucking friendship we were young fucking boys I'm like I can't fucking cry in front of this can I not want to cry I've never I don't think I'd seen you

cry at this point I think 24 did your grandad died yet nah that was oh yeah he had but like you know what that was

that was very like that might have been just as we met that was the winter after we met at the fringe are you sure 2009 oh wow

okay because I feel like I heard fucking I never got to meet him that would make sense unless it was me grandad Harry which was a bit later on but like anyway Oh, wow, okay. Because I feel like I heard fucking... Mind you, I never got to meet him. That would make sense. Unless it was me crying to Harry,

which was a bit later on. But like... Anyway. I'd never see you cry. I also, at this point, I absolutely... I'm like, this cunt doesn't... He's not... He's whacking class fucking Geordie.

He's not... He's never seen anyone cry. And if he has seen anyone cry, it's either because he caused it or he beat them up afterwards so the way our house

used to be is like the living room was downstairs and it was like the furthest room away from the front door which was brilliant

because I knew Grand Theft Auto 5 had just come out and I was like he's we went to the midnight release

I'm like he's definitely going to be in the living room just playing this fucking game, I can walk in, go to shower and then go to bed and just claim I'm fucking tired or whatever and I'll just not have to see him or I'll come back to it. Was that like tight on the release date of Grand Theft Auto?

No, worse. There's something suspicious going on in this house. I've got my big puffy red I've just cried face. I've spent 10 minutes in the car, in the driveway, just like calming myself down. You've just got to last seven seconds between the front door and your bedroom

without seeing Kai and just don't let him fucking see you cry. I can fucking do it. And I opened the door and you just got back from a run. I think literally I opened the door and you just got back from a run. I think literally I opened the door and you were hanging up your thing and I see you. And instantly I remember like the fear of like you

laughing or making fun of me or bullying me or any of this sort of fucking thing. I saw instant compassion in your face, which I was not expecting. I picked you up. Carried me back out the threshold. Threw me into the bush and went, crimes for queers!

I'm like, green bin or grey bin? Do you read cycle cards? Why would you? Just kill him straight up. Landfill. And I remember, I remember I remember bursting into tears because I wasn't

expecting fucking compassion from you and I think you knew what had happened I think you'd like had been able to yeah because we would have talked

about it yeah before I left I think I made the decision I said to you I'm like I'm a way to break up I remember you gave me a big hug

I remember just crying for fucking like I think like two or three minutes you didn't say remember you gave me a big hug I remember just crying for fucking like I think like two or three minutes you didn't say anything you just hugged me it was very nice

and then you sort of went see that's why you're glad I'm not bi you know tears are a loop you're gonna take advantage of me

for three minutes you're just like Kai what's that oh a princess in the p situation oh i felt it through three layers why are you commando why are you and then like I you were like

are you okay and I'm like yeah yeah yeah I'm okay and I think I said thanks you didn't say anything else you didn't

like I think I was really scared that you were gonna like make me fucking talk about it or something because I didn't want to talk about it with you I wanted to talk about it with Jean

because I was used to talking about my emotions with Jean I didn't want to talk about it with you I wanted to talk about it with Jean because I was used to talking about my emotions with Jean, I wasn't used to talking about my emotions with you, I didn't think we were there at that time in our friendship or at least I, you know, I wasn't ready and I went for a shower because nobody can see you crying in the shower I can fucking hear you

Are you crying or just gargling that water? Jesus Christ I'm in the shower crying You just keep flushing the toilet and turning on the hot taps Playing me like a sad Bagpipe from the other room I think I'm on the decks

empathy face to face but DJing my sadness from the kitchen and now we're gonna make his arse drop and I get I get out of the shower

I get into my gym jams I think I come through I think we walk a joint and you do the thing that women make fun of us shower, I get into my gym jams. I think I come through, I think we smoke a joint. And you do the thing that women make fun of us for, but I actually think it's a really good thing that men do, which is absolutely ignore the elephant in the room. Completely, I come back out, right? You've held me in your arms while I cried for four minutes.

You know, I went into the shower to cry. You heard me cry in the shower I feel better my emotions are out and I'm like and I've just been for a run but I've knocked one out for you I was meant to be saving that

for the weekend you got a bat in the cave just there buddy perfect timing so eh there's a lane there for you on the bench mate man I think that was it

I think what you I think what you said I think I think what you said was think I think what you said was I would have rolled you a joint but that would have just made you sadder but

do you want a joint we rolled a joint and we did not talk about it at all because we didn't want to talk about it because I cried I got the things out

it was processing you know yours wasn't we just we wanted to fucking and you can switch characters on Grand Theft Auto 5. We had more things to talk about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it was very, very fun. And then literally, and this is pathetic and again, much like most of the story is awful. Did I get it by the way? Yeah, you did, aye. We were playing Grand Theft Auto. I can't remember what the line was, but I think it was

just like a long bit of silence had gone on we were just playing the game fucking stoned and you just went fuck you cry like a bitch like let it go let it get past the moment three hours had passed I was completely back

to normal. Have you ever get past that point where the comment would have made you cry again? yeah yeah yeah. Man, it's what... Let it mellow. It's what I say is that if you speak to anyone who's grieved, they will always be able to tell you the exact first time they laughed

after the bereavement, the thing had happened. You know, it's such an important moment in any sad thing. The first time you're able to laugh after sadness is It's Phoenix like it's laughing in the face of death. You know, it's pure power And the timing of it is is is crucial because if you imagine imagine you brought that line Forward three hours. Oh, yeah hours. Oh yeah, I waited in the shower. You know, you think, look,

you've got like a bitch right over here. Yeah, you did lock it, but unlike you, I'm a man and I can unscrew things too soon. I just couldn't check, I thought you were dying, sounded like you were dying of acid. Not the good kind.

I think I've Right, let's go through our friends. Of acid? Not the good kind. Aye. I think I've seen... Right, let's go through our friends. Who have you seen cry? You've obviously seen me cry. I saw Elliot cry when Columbia equalised. And you saw Elliot cry when Messi lifted the World Cup. Uh-huh.

Yeah, he cried then. Aye. Have you seen Cullen cry? Uh-huh. Aye. Aye, snowboarding. World Cup uh huh yeah he cried then aye have you seen Colin cry uh huh aye aye snowboarding just scared I'm scared

um now I won't I won't divulge why I saw Colin cry a lot of these are probably going to be like yes I have not telling you

yeah yeah yeah I've I've seen Colin cry I've cried with Colin because when Ray died we were both I mean he's told this story so many times

but like man when I can I give you the job of going down to tell Cullen that Ray was dying and I'm outside I'm composing myself I'm like I'm just going to go and tell him

and I walk in and nothing comes out of my mouth I walk in and I go I'm like, go in hey Ryan, sorry to wake you up Ray is ill, we think it's the end, we're going to take her to the vet would you like to come, hi Ryan

I know it's Harley, we think Ray is dying, do you think you'd be ready to go to the vet okay, hey Ryan, I know it's Harley do you think, walk in and I went, and he went is Ray dying, and I went And he went It's Ray dying And I went And then he just started trembling

I tell you what I've not seen fucking I've not seen Nelson cry Oh there's a real man The cunt's got depression How come I've never seen him fucking cry He's the most depressed of all of our friends Can I tell you

One of the million times I saw Milo Make him cry He's probably the man I've seen cry the most Milo's like me Milo cries at adverts, Milo cries at TV Milo would cry if one of his daughters Shared something with the other daughter That type of

This is when I saw Milo cry that made me laugh the most. We're all on pills. We're in Benidorm. We're on a beach. And there's just like a couple of lasses who are on holiday that are just chatting away.

They're young lasses, like in their early 20s or something, right? And then Milo had been chatting away to one of them very fatherly, right? And then they'd wandered off. Oh Milo had been chatting away to one of them very fatherly, right? And then like, they'd wandered off. Oh yeah,

none of this was like in a flirting way. Not at all. You, me and our other friends are on so much ecstasy that I'm just dragging us into the seat constantly because when I'm on pills,

I need to. And there's other people on the beach and we're being friendly. I'm on Natalie at the time, right? And these lasses were just like in my group, in a safe place,

chatting to lads that are nice, right? And then they left and Milo in my group, in a safe place, chatting to lads that are nice, right? And then they left and Milo just, just welled up and started crying. And he was like, she was just talking to me

about her dad. And I just really hope that when Ine grows up, because he just had one baby at the time, right? He was like, I hope when Ine grows up,

she grows up to be just like her. She's crying. It was so emotional. I went, what? That lass having a piss by the pedal She's just fucking squatting It's one of my favourite moments With the young woman

Who just spent two hours Talking to a pilled up 40 year old alright man at some fucking low standards I think she will leap over I think she'll be alright, I think she'll make you proud I think she'll exceed your expectations

it was so funny that was the moment he cried because he hadn't spotted Gareth was in a show this year was about him and his inability to cry and his unwillingness to cry and I know he has cried because he cried at the same

one of the many episodes of Bluey the Hive cried at I same, well, one of the many episodes of Bluey that I've cried at. I've not seen Barry cry. Barry Cryer? Someone else. He's a mistake to make. Have I seen Barry cry? If I have, I've deleted it.

Aye. And that's not to say, Barry, just to clarify, these people have not seen Cry. These aren't people who are like, if in a crisis, I would phone Barry. Barry would be someone, if I needed to talk about something emotional,

he would be one of my first to go to. He's a fucking, but he's just more of a man than me. He doesn't cry. Matthew Canning, Matthew the pincer. I have seen him ball like an absolute, like an infant having a tantrum. It's weird, isn't it? Matty the pincer I have seen him Ball Like an Absolute Like an

Like an infant Having a tantrum It's weird isn't it It was hilarious Have you ever seen him Cry any other time From that Have you ever seen

Have you ever seen I'm sure I've asked you This before Have you ever seen Your dad cry Yeah Yeah Aye

It's few and far between But yeah It's usually like It's usually like A deeply sad moment Yeah He doesn't just Fruity as it runs Nilly nilly No no It's like It's notable like a deeply sad moment yeah and she doesn't just for tears around

no in LA no no it's grief yeah okay fair enough and well see in there Tom Horton cry usually for I don't know if I've seen Tom cry And I think I've only seen you cry Twice I think I cried I cried one of the surprises with Cian Once he survived his Cancer His cancer And he'd had the treatment That the community of Blythe one of the surprises with Cian once he survived his cancer and he'd had

the treatment that the community of Blythe and the comedy industry like played a big part in raising the money for his treatment in America

and when he'd come out the other end of that and like had done a show about it and then like they brought him on stage I was probably overwhelmed that day

yeah em I was very very close to tears when Newcastle got into the Champions day Yeah I was very Very close to tears When Newcastle Got into the Champions League Right But I was on a massive

Come down from your wedding That's why I was really That's why I was saying The fact that I haven't Seen Nelson cry I saw I was with him

When Scotland qualified For the Euros For the first time In fucking 20 years I'm trying to remember If he cried then He might

But we were just Nah he was He was like Diabolical He was throwing His cellar around the room He was like Instig but we were just nah he was he was like diabolical he was frowning so around the room he was like instigating the pylon luckily he was one of the first ones on otherwise i'll be dead oh um before we before we uh wrap up uh i was thinking about what you said on the other podcast when we were talking about like you know praying

the alternative just being like practicing gratitude I didn't chew you out for a bit you know I do practice gratitude I'll be grateful at the end of this podcast because today was one of the days where like I got to walk around

Antwerp with my family we're staying in a really really nice hotel I'm still making money while bringing my family over to these things I got to take my son to like an indoor

play park today where like these two Flemish kids who didn't speak a fucking lick of English were like really good with him and he was chasing them around

and they were chasing him around and like and I've got a show tonight and I'm not stressed, I'm not thinking about fucking anything. It's sold well, so you're not worried about tickets. No,

I'm just in such a really, oh man, I've got to tell you, these two fucking Flemish kids, right, one of them, obviously both Belgium, one was just a little fucking white boy

and the other one was like a little Muslim boy and I only worked out because his mum was in a, is it a kneecaps, a full thing? I don't know, that's the only thing I would know.

Sleeping with the enemy? Trojan horse? Well, what else are you doing for? We gotta work out what makes them click. Not tick. What makes them click? Good save. The two little Belgian boys speaking Flemish and trying to talk to me and me being like,

man, I don't speak a lick of your language. And I know that's not fair because I'm in your country. But, you know, I don't understand what you're saying. My boy isn't going to understand what you're saying. These two kids would constantly, while running around, just yell. And these are four and six years old, I'm going to say. Just yell Jesus fucking Christ in English. Jesus fucking Christ.

And what the fuck? It's just what they're yelling while they chase my son. Because the little Muslim boy was running around saying Allah Akbar, which means God is great. Just say it in English like just say it in English just say it in English what's that in English mummy yeah

well man that is what me and Karen were discussing because I found it hysterical man you know me

I love swearing it doesn't bother me in the slightest like to hear two little kids chasing my son while my son is screaming with laughter

he's having the time of his life and then they catch him and Caelan turns around and he chases them for a bit. And these two kids who can outrun him at an astronomical pace being chased by this small person going, Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck? I am crying with laughter. And kind of like, are they saying Jesus fucking Christ? I'm like, yes.

Maybe it is the fact. Maybe it's like Sacre Bleu. Or Merde. You're just allowed to swear in another language because your parents either don't know or don't care. Pardon me, French. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I had a fucking great day.

And also, I gotta go on record. I love Belgium. I love all of Belgium. I love getting here. Ghent is the most beautiful city in Belgium. And that's not... Oh, wait a minute. We haven't been to Bruges.

We haven't been to Bruges. I was tempted to go today because we're not that far away and we'll never go and I had a full day here. I just done that thing where you just become a hotel urchin. You just use the hotel gym

and get some work done on your laptop and you don't really do any sightseeing. Yeah. Which I don't think's the right thing to do but like we've travelled so much. And also this is our seventh time in Antwerp Aye. We should pop into Bruges. It's just our there Yeah but not on a show day

Nah that's true I guess it's just like to be at this stage in our career where I'm able to bring family out, which makes touring so much easier for me. And don't get me wrong, I'm better now with touring in terms of, like, eating well and going to the gym and when I'm away from my family,

understanding that my mental health deteriorates so I do more positive things to make my mental health better. Being able to bring them out and still make cash and it's not it's not just it's not just sustenance

nah what a what a fucking blessing like it's mad to get to share this life with with so you're practising gratitude today

aye and also asking why your wife's not here yeah nah she was like where is my invite it's midweek I'm not even in craft nah I didn't think Cara started giving a stank for that like why invite It's midweek I'm not even at craft

Nah I didn't think Cara started giving a stank for that Like why didn't you invite Natalie I'm like I don't need to invite Natalie anywhere She's Always always invited

I know I don't think I need to I don't need to roll that out No but it is nice to be asked Hey Hey You would much rather You would much rather

Natalie went Hey do you want a blowjob Than I have to ask Natalie For a blowjob Aye that's true to ask Natalie for a blowjob. That's true. As long as I get one, it's the same thing. I know. Now I know what you're saying.

So it's, yeah. I'm sure Natalie would say, he should always learn a blowjob. I love him, of course. If he wanted a blowjob, he'd get a fucking blowjob. But you're like, I want to ask for a fucking blowjob. Is that something else I've got to be mindful of now

Is like looking out for the Things to invite Because I want it to be In Almy trips Yeah that's true Yeah it's the picking of And a lot of it should be like Giving her the tour thing

And being like Which of these places Would you like to come to Like which of these is And you know what I said But it's also a different experience I was going to her as well I was like

You're not really missing out A great deal Because we're like Travelling to and from gigs Each day that as well you're not really missing out a great deal because we're like travelling to and from gigs each day and stuff so you're not but then again

when you were saying like Karistain at the hotel tonight we're killing just so you get a regular bedtime and stuff

that means if Natalie was here she wouldn't have to be to and from the gigs because they would just do their own thing they would just act

like the gigs weren't happening and have had a three day weekend break in Belgium that we are there throughout the day and gone in the evening. So yeah, it really would have worked. I think I do have to be more mindful of that.

Anyway, I am very grateful for our fans. I'm very grateful for our Belgium audiences which have consistently always been always been good. It's been such a fun market to develop here, like to go from playing fucking and shout out to the 10 year veterans that have

been coming since game number 1 you know what with Anne and Lenny they'd been to Brighton in 2013 so they consider it to be 10 years of coming to our shows but then since we started coming to Belgium they've stopped coming through the UK

anyway I'm very grateful to all of our fans who allow But then since we started coming to Belgium, we stopped coming through the UK. Anyway, I'm very grateful to all of our fans who allow me to... Because I'm very aware the careers comes in like highs and lows and ebbs and flows and I'll probably not be this successful forever. And that's fine because I was this successful for a period of time and that's a blessing. But do keep it going.

Keep it going for as long as you can. I accept and i acknowledge that it has to stop at some point but if you could really help me overstay my welcome in in the realm of success and if you say and if you sign up to our patreon that makes it a lot easier for it to get well oh are you turning my fucking grudge into a mutt You horrible rotten bastard That's what you were doing wasn't it No it was not I was being genuinely grateful I was like oh yeah we're going

He's getting them to sign up to Patreon I might not always be here So like and subscribe You Bag of shit But you should like and subscribe For your benefit Because you get loads of extra episodes

Right Right I'm going to go get ready for our final gig in Brussels Bye