Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Thick Cast IV

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

Muggins and Cream are joined by OG guest Elliot Steel returning for a much anticipated Thick Cast where we present him with a number of questions from several different categories to discern whether he is indeed as thick as he appears. I think it's safe to say we got the sound bites we need to prove he is.

Hello. How you doing? You good? You well? Welcome to Sloss and Humphreys on the Road. Without Sloss or Humphreys. My name is Elliot Still and I'm here today to prove that I am not thick. Not that I'm not thick, but I'm not as thick as they make out to be. And this episode we asked me, we, they asked me some questions all right look i'm faking it like what do you want like you're gonna listen to the episode you hear me get things wrong if you've listened to this one before i fuck things up a lot i don't bother learning things it doesn't really it doesn't really excite me so go sign up to their patreon kai's left me with doing the intro as he stands there awkwardly laughing

as I try to do in earnest. Can we start this again? Sloss and Humphries on the road. Muggins and cream, cream and muggins. Straight thuggin', livin' the dream. That's our intro. Fuckin' muggles. Ticklin' the clit inside your head that makes you laugh.

Woohoo! Ha ha ha! They said it can't be done. Are we in the same seats? That's hack. Aw, muggles Accidental rim job in the park Kiss, kiss, kiss

Or am I just being cynical? Just muggled it up on fucking Mugglepedia Where have you been since 9-11? We are here with Woke Snowflake Elliot Steele Good day Woke Snowflake, it feels like there's a Because you know how they came up with libtart

And that's obviously a combination of like liberal and retard Like is there a Does woke and snowflake go together somehow there? Wokeflake Wokeflake It feels like there's like a It could be crammed into something Wokeflake sounds like a kind of flake they bring out

You know when they do like a They'll do like a white one And try to call it something to like make everyone go, oh, look, they've got a new flake. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this one's £1.50 instead of 99p. And we're just like, the fucking state. Boris Johnson's Britain.

So there's a reason we've got you here, Elliot. Yes. It's because you're absolutely retarded. Well, I mean, I used that word in context. That was just completely just steamrolled through he took a pause and really thought about it if you go back and watch that Daniel's like

I hope people understand the context that I'm going to use it in you've just come in here and just thrown a grenade 30 seconds in are you 13 years old and playing call of duty I'm going to change it for like I'm going to change it to thick and just make you look like you're really walking a snowflake all right cool this is great so by the way everyone before they ask me these questions they had to look up the answers so let's

not let's let's calm down i did have to look up the answers i had to google science questions for kids and then write them down With their answer Do you know the answers? To some of them There are I will be I'll be very honest

There's some questions here Where I'm like Man I did not know That was the answer Not only did I not know That was the answer My mind is blown That this was the fucking answer

And in my defence I just want to say I wouldn't have known This stuff when I was a kid either So that's... Okay, right. So you've never learned it. It's not like you're a stoner and you've forgotten.

It's more... Elliot's about to dub me out last night at a pub quiz, you know. It was ridiculous. Great. I'm all ready. I'm here for it. Continue. Wait, hold on.

So you went to a pub quiz? We didn't mean to go to a pub quiz. I was watching the last day of the season. I had a war room, a few different matches on different screens. And just for all the fans out there, how's that quadruple going, you fucking cunts? Ah, there we go. Sorry, Liverpool.

You were going to win a quadruple and you played 240 minutes of football without a goal and then won a lottery ticket. You're not a quadruple team. Anyway, continue. The 1-2 cup cup finals nil nil greatest team to ever do it

they're still shouting that they're still shouting it Steve McManaman was saying even if they come second it's the

best team that's ever done it because of how competitive they've been in every competition I'm like well you can't just

win two domestic cups they're a different breed they are ok off football right so the football finished we went to the pub

with Natalie to get a bite to eat and a drink and then they had a pub quiz on but stopped serving food real bad business model I believe

and and we'd done the first round of the pub quiz and we thought we'd smashed it right there was one question that we didn't get the answer to

because it was like three EU countries with with five letters right and we one question that we didn't get the answer to because it was like three eu countries with um with five letters right we've got italy and we've got spain and then we're like oh these so thick that i think wales is still in it france france is six oh so it's okay and greece is six and like so we went through like we've done a european tour right so i'm fucking going through every two hour we've done we'll also start naming football as tight with euros we're like trying to do our best to think of every country.

So the one that we got wrong, right, was Malta. Oh, fuck aye. Right, and you come running down the quizzes and ticked everything apart from that one, right? And it was like, oh, you guys, everybody got it right apart from one team who got nine. And we're just looking at everybody on the table and every one of them's got their phone out,

every fucking table. It was fucking bullshit. There was no, there was not even an attempt. They didn't, it wasn't like someone like, Malta, Malta. It was just like, aye, Malta. They just wiped their phones out and it ruined the integrity of the quiz.

And also there was no way, like some of the questions, there was no way. But it was like Jake and Elroy are the brothers from which musical thing right

Natalie the end of our musicals was like Blues Brothers okay I wouldn't have known that I got a couple right yeah yeah yeah you got Granny Smith

wasn't Apple no I didn't you got Granny Smith wasn't Apple I got that guy was the captain of the Titanic I got WH Smith which then you lot changed

and changed it to something else John Menzies yeah and it turned out it was WH Smith which then you lot changed and changed it to something else John Menzies yeah and it turned out it was WH Smith so we would have got more points and I also got I got another one sure

stop trying to paint me out that I'm thick I'm not thick I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I'm sorry. I also, I remember John Menzies and there was a, for some reason

it was on the radio recently because it's still a company. Is it? Yeah, yeah. But it's not pronounced Menzies. No? No. I don't know how it's pronounced

but I know when they pronounced it I went, it's like Mingus or something. Mingus. Aye. It's like one of those ones where it's like

an old Croatian name or whatever. So that's how they say it and you're like, once the name's been here long enough, it's how we fucking say it name or whatever so that's how they say it and you're like once the name's been here long enough it's how we fucking say it right

I hate to sound like fucking Cartman there being like David it's David okay David yeah no that was very that had a real

sort of a vibe of thrown in jail for saying your English nowadays can't say anything anymore got thrown out for laughing to be fair I wouldn't throw somebody in jail if they out for laughing to be fair I would throw somebody

in jail if they called me English that's so my my logic was that the WH Smith replaced all of the

John Menzies so I was like oh well John Menzies was there before WH Smith so that's what I was like I think you're right

but I think it was Menzies beforehand but it turns out you were right we just decided to ruin the integrity of a quiz. So you guys have a-

Do you know how we dealt with it? Very grown up like. You asked him outside and told him that you'd kick his fucking head in. No, more cowardly than that. It was very cowardly. Oh, you asked him outside and said that you'd both kick his fucking head in. And Natalie. and hated and Natalie you reported him

to the pub quiz to say you phoned Paul and went Paul Paul this man this man's

he says he's letting them use phones worse oh god Daniel we wrote the answer that every single

question is round two is everyone is using their phones oh my god and we wrote the answer that every single question in round two is everyone is using their phones oh my god and we're left I wrote a shopping list underneath and then on the fourth round

Natalie wrote all the qualities she'd like in a man and one of them was doesn't storm out halfway through a pop quiz by the way she was actually right

on every question amazingly as well for that round. It was quite impressive. One of the answers was Uganda. So you stopped out and there was... We went across the road to a ramen place and complained about how bad a business model it was to have a cheaty pub quiz with no food.

Daniel, why do you love it so badly? I'm an adult man. I pay taxes. You have touched on one of my favourite Alistair Green sketches. So good. The pub quiz one I'll show you afterwards. You can find it on YouTube. Alistair Green pub quiz.

If you want, just do a quick pause, right? And if you want to see what kind, Gaelic we're like last night, watch Alistair Green sketch and then come back. Abstract giraffe. Who are you to decide? The whole point is it's a race. Galey we're late last night watch Alice in Green Skate and then come back abstract giraffe who are you to decide the whole point is it's based on objective facts

in our defence it is fucking annoying to be last on a pub quiz with one answer wrong because everybody's using their phones let me just say no disrespect to the people of this pub but looking at the table

they didn't seem like the kind of people that were going to know Malta as the it was it was ridiculous oh the name of the captain of the Titanic

what was the name of the captain of the Titanic I don't know but I just knew I used really good logic because I was like they were like was the captain

of which famous ship and I was like I said Mary Celeste I was like that's too too good an answer for what this pub quiz is. The opening question was,

what year did England win the World Cup? Did they really ask that in fucking Glasgow? First question. First question. First question. You should have burned the pub down to the fucking crowd with everyone in it.

Nah, I licked my foot and wrote the answer down. I actually waved my orange jumper. Where is this pub and where can I find a helicopter it's in Clarkston it's called the Overee right here comes

Clutha 2 I'm not fucking fucking again how fucking dare you how fucking dare you in our football fucking capital this fucking country

I tell you that's what when did England win the fucking World Cup fucking let's go there now I'm angry I can't believe

you complained about the fucking questions that's what it's like everyone's go there now I'm angry I can't believe you complained about the fucking questions that's when like everyone's cheating there's a fucking Tory asking questions in a fucking

Glasgow pub and just a lot of Glaswegians googling the answer as if they don't know actually now I think about it when we're talking

about the questions like what is it Granny Smith and like when they like we should have gotten all of them right

everyone's using their phones to text their friends being like god this pub quiz is easy except for these three morons

who are getting very angry and now writing a shopping list imagine the next round he's like on the next round nuclear fission

takes place when what everyone's like shit how old is the queen what's the what's prince philip's favorite color welcome to glasgow uh so we stormed out went for a ramen went back and we took all of pinsa okay and that he left with me. So I had a really good night.

You didn't have to tell that part of the story. That could have been left out. Oh my God, you're such a funny. Yeah, it's been a while since I've done this podcast. And the last time I did it, you threw me under the bus. I used to never have a career. So it was fine. But now... So you know what happened, right?

Last time we did a podcast with Elliot was with Mark Nelson and Altitude. And we recorded for like an hour and 20 minutes and he was like oh don't put that bit in don't put that bit in we ended up with like a 40 minute podcast

and all the way driving the eyes like oh don't tell them my shoe size like it's fucking size 3 by the way perfectly reasonable to be like

please don't bring that up on a podcast going out to me this is totally totally fine you have to understand you're fine he's you've got you know I haven't got like a career you've got literally This is totally, totally fine. You have to understand, you're fine.

You've got, you know, I haven't got like a career. You've got literally nothing to lose, you're saying it. I've got stuff that I, it's amazing how little they can take away from me and how much it could ruin my life. It's amazing how much you could progress with a bit of authenticity instead of engineering synthesizing the image. Not to take Elliot's image on this, but i don't think it's authenticity to stand by while

your friends slander you with stories that they've bumped up to make themselves laugh well when you put it like that don't put it like that daniel i'm not like i'm not going on stage pretending you know to like no load of stuff i mean i'm just going like hey, maybe let's leave out the part where we did cocaine last. Let's leave that bit. It added no relevance to the story. It's because we stole it off Matty. That's what was relevant.

Well, now we're just throwing him under the bus. Oh, yeah. Like he's got an actual job. I mean, we're in jobs where nobody cares. Not to steal a Jack Whitehall joke, but remember when he was caught doing cocaine

and the way he apologised for it was because he was caught doing cocaine on his I can't remember what phone it was in the middle of

the street and he apologised being like I know what you were going to say I should have an iPhone by now

he apologised for doing it off a Blackberry well you'll be happy to know that Matt runs his own business

he's self-employed and if he does call himself in the office, it's to rack up. So, Elliot, there's a reason we've got you here. Yes. It's because we've had a lot of fun in the past with the podcast. But pre-Patreon, if you're new to the podcast, there's a couple of archive episodes back in the annals of Spotify

and Podbean and itunes that never that will be pre-patreon um and they are where we are trying to discover if you are thick by just asking you just a sequence of questions yeah and like some of them have been like really simple ones like what's the main element and diamond and coal would it was a was a call yes because when you cross coal, it becomes a diamond. That's why you got confused there. No, because they're both carbon-based.

It's because they're both carbon-based. Stop trying to act smart. It's because the element is carbon. Stop trying to fucking throw words out there like you're a carbon, like you're fucking Einstein or something. It's just say the fuck it's coal. It's fucking coal.

Right, so the main element in coal and diamond is carbon. What element did you say was the main element? Fire. I thought, like, you burn coal, innit? And I was thinking of, like, earth, wind, air. The main elements. You were thinking of Captain Planet?

Airbender. Airbender. Captain Planet, you're showing your age now. See, when I think of the elephants, Elephants? When I think of the elephants, I think of Pokemon. That's where I like all my elements. But there's way more than...

You forget that Psychic's an element. Cold's an element. And different from water for some reason. That's when they had to, like, sell more toys, wasn't it? The Depression Pokemon. There was an element in Captain Planet. So they had, earth, wind, fire And

What was the other one? Water And then they had heart Heart Love Like you could attack the plants and that Oh that's sweet And everyone was just like fucking Like mass destruction on their enemies

And he's just like Oh do us a favour and grow faster Just like I feel I've got the worst powers here fucking like mass destruction on their enemies and he's just like oh days of favor and grow faster just like i feel i've got the worst powers here uh oh you don't have you got it's like the the the i was gonna say who's the worst fucking pokemon at the starters oh like it's got to be like squirtless something squirtless into blastos man blast and as much as you like charizard fucking blasto is killing charizard dead easy What have you fired, Groot? Oh, what about Mewtwo? Nah, he's not starting Pokemon Is he not?

Nah, you only get him at the end And people also mistake Mew for Maybe Mewtwo They're both separate Pokemon Aye, they are You can see I spent a lot of time at school Not learning Well, in that case, welcome back to

And then also, in Elliot's defence I purposely put in questions here And regularly Just to fuck him over But then then also because he's looking out for those sometimes you just ask him a normal question and he's so panicky that he'll fuck that one up that's why it's fun and he gets angry at the expectation of like like how you expect me to know that and you're just like look the thing is right i don't really care about learning about things that don't interest me. Like spelling. You fucking decipher.

Oh, we've got a spelling room. Yeah, and guess what? I'm going to fail it because I'm fucking writing words down. Fuck off, what, you Egyptian using hieroglyphics?

Move. Boring. I can speak. I don't need to write. Natalie scrolls past your... Can we speak? I'm going to keep out of this one,

but answer him. Elliot, Natalie scrolls past your videos the minute there's a spelling mistake because you don't deserve her to watch

she believes that she's like why have I spent the effort to watch this if he can't be asked to spell and correctly

he spelled and with an M oh because it's next there and then I'm also I'm editing I'm starting the fucking video

of my podcast BTEC Philosophers that I've I've spent ages editing subtitling I have to change I have to that the fucking video of my podcast, B-Tech Philosophers, that I've spent ages editing, subtitling, I have to change the whole format of it to fit the fucking phone

because we've got such a generation of people that it has to fill up the whole phone because if it doesn't fill up the whole phone, I'm not going to watch it. Oh yeah, and there's that thing where you do have to like, I'm not on TikTok or do any of the things, but like people, you have to put the words on the video

because the amount of people that just watch videos without any sound on is, and don't get me wrong, I'm also that cut. Like I'll scroll it. So there's no words on the video because the amount of people that just watch videos without any sound on is, I don't get me wrong, I'm also that cut. Like I'll scroll it. There's no captions on your video. I ain't watching it. So I have to do all of that.

And at the same time, I can't say it's not very clear all the time. And sometimes I'll be honest with you. I send them, I airdrop the video to my phone. I go, I look at it. I see there's a spelling mistake

and I see it's like 20 seconds in and I go, well, by that point. Yeah yeah the way you do it is be like well at least i'm gonna get a comment on this video as some fucking nerd goes actually it's spelled p-e-a-r yeah you actually used the wrong pair there and you're like thanks for the engagement fuck stick yeah don't look at the comments on TikTok section where everyone is just vehemently horrible about me all of the time. I'm not going anywhere near TikTok. TikTok's great.

If I have to sacrifice success in my career by not joining it, I'm just not willing to learn. And there'll be another one in five years. Like, you know, remember Vine? That was great. Yeah, you were burned by Vine. You were like, well, I'm not going to learn another social'll be another one in five years like you know remember Vine that was great you were burned by Vine you were like well I'm not going to learn

another social media I must have that one did you do well on Vine no but I loved it but we were good at it oh right we had actual fun creating shit on Vine

six second videos yeah because that was so easy to become a content creator because it was like right you've got here's the fucking parameters and this is what you've got this is how you create you go all fucking fun as opposed to

tiktok where you can just have like a fucking film crew following you around and doing everything but but it's loads of different things tiktok like yeah there is that side to it that sucks but there's also loads of fun so i went down like i think i said to you you'd have loved this it was a youtube it was like a TikTok rabbit hole of the greatest Modern Warfare 2 trick shots

and I and I started going down that and then the algorithm started sending me things from other games and I was just able to be like

oh I'm actually very happy thank you for working out I would never have looked this up myself this is great I really want to consume this

whereas other things are a little bit when you first go on there's a lot of girls with their ass out and i'll be honest it's amazing how boring that gets yeah yeah and then what gets better numb yourself to it yeah no i tell you what gets better is uh there was this account that was that would called var var var is like var check it's like a girl would put up a thing about how they've got like talking shit

to a camera about how they've got a fat arse and lip sync about how they've got a fat arse and then it would cut to a VAR

referee doing this and they would go find her Instagram and then find a photo where she like clearly doesn't have a fat arse

and it would be him giving the red card and it was it was so fucking good so it's like calling out thirst traps for false advertising essentially well the worst one would not be girls like hoeing it up online and then be this guy who then like find their boyfriend and then send them the video and be like is this your girl bro i do do like the genre of if somebody is being like a piece of shit

online instead of engaging with them just grassing them up to people and i know snitches get stitches but like when guys it was a thing for ages and i'm sure it still goes on but like when guys would send unsolicited dick pics you just go find their mum on Facebook and you go is this your son and she's like yeah I remember that there was a guy that did a YouTube video where there was a guy

wolf whistling catcalling girls that walk by all the time so there's a prank like they got the mum involved in it and dolled her right up and made him walk past

made him catcall his own mother and then his mother revealed herself like took her hat off and all that and absolutely bollocked him and the kids shat it

those are good those are good because they're virtuous and should be done. I like it when it's really ruining someone's day who's just trying to make a video. I really like,

I'm a much worse person. No, no, no, buddy. I love Sheldon Fryden and enjoying the suffering of others. I'm still ball, and you know this, I'm still balls deep in this Brendan Sharp thing.

Every day, I'm just updating. I'm enjoying all the fucking memes and I shouldn't he's a human being and I'm sure face to face he's a lovely bloke but as an imposter of my fucking art form nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom I would love to be on your podcast Brendan

and I don't stand I would throw these under the bust to fucking shake your hand just to date if you're watching Brendan watching it on early access right your hand just if you're watching brennan russner on early access right the quiz yes uh you wait so we have six rounds seven rounds we've got history round okay a quick maths round oh dear science round oh no philosophy questions yes spelling b oh no explain how this things works uh okay and a riddle round oh no what questions yes spelling b oh no explain how this thing works uh okay and a riddle round oh no what would you like first let's go philosophy philosophy okay

bear in mind that uh he has a podcast called b-tech philosophers it's called b-tech philosophers for a reason by the way because it's yeah yeah because a b-tech would suggest that you had some level of education but what is philosophy isn't it it's just thinking it's just going like it's going like what's that a roof why is that a roof

that's all it really fucking is you can dress it up all you want so I'm driving back from Liverpool we pull away from the service station

I said to Mark should we put Elliot's podcast on because I'm going to hang around with him on the weekend I'd like to hear his podcast

I haven't listened to it yet we'll put it on and then there was a bit where Elliot earlier in the podcast Elliot mentioned me pissing on rickets in a sauna because he doesn't care about my privacy was a bit where Elliot earlier in the podcast Elliot mentioned me pissing on Ricketts

in a sauna because he doesn't care about my privacy we've also told that story in this podcast you told that story at your wedding it's my story

so I laughed because I thought it was funny and then I looked and Mark was just fast asleep it had been on

three minutes Mark's a 40 year old drunk he's got And then I looked and Mark was just fast asleep. It had been on three minutes. Mark's a 40-year-old drunk. You could put Streamo on and he's just going to force him. So let's go with philosophy. So, you know, on your podcast, you bash the table all the time as well. Yeah. No, I'd say, you know, the fucking...

Am I not allowed to bash? I've been told off. I am on your side. I always touch it. But he is right. what the fucking, am I not allowed to first? I've been told, I am on your side, I always touch it, but he is right, and the only reason I don't do it is because I've been told off 27 podcasts in a fucking row.

Can I fidget with this thing? Yes, I'm a fidget. It'll make too much noise, but I'm with you. I'm a fidget and I get it. Now, this one's going to be difficult because there's no correct answers here. So this may be a good place to start.

What do you think consciousness is? Consciousness is a thing that humans have all agreed is the idea of I think, therefore I am. So I know I exist because I'm able, I'm aware that I'm alive. So I'm aware that I have thought and I have these things, but I don't believe that we have full consciousness because this is, we're only,

I'm not good with words. So we're experiencing, it's kind of Descartes and stuff like that. Like how do we know that this is really rude? Descartes is actually. Descartes, shut the fuck up. I'm making a good point. I'm making a good point.

And you wanted to jump in there and be like, here's how you should say that guy's name. He fucking got the name of a shop he used to go oorong went on the radio and he pointed it out and he still

went nah fuck you and I get some I wasn't on the radio talking about John Manzies I was listening to the radio and they mentioned

John Manzies in a different way I thought that was weird I was in a car listening and they pronounced the business John Mingus

has gone under and I'm like John Mingus I was thinking like it's weird that you were promoting your tour by talking about them. I'm like, bring it back. J.B.H. Smith is fucking soulless. You were right. It isn't discarding.

It was like me. If you said jalapenos and I went M. Jalapenos, I was being a dick. So consciousness is this thing that we all agree on. I know you disagree with me on this. I have feelings that through things like maybe DMT or acid or like that, there's levels of consciousness that we as humans cannot experience or have not experienced, but you don't know, you don't miss what you don't have. So you think like that, those other levels of consciousness, obviously you've touched on DMT and drugs there, that's potential to reach those.

Do you also think that monks through meditation are experiencing higher levels of consciousness than we are? I wouldn't know enough about I don't really meditate I find meditating a bit long it's not really for me. So do you think I'm just trying to put what you're saying do you think consciousness is like a broader thing than just your own individual experience do you think it's the the universe witnessing itself? Yeah so the greatest thing i ever heard about the universe is we are the universe trying to figure itself out we are a product of the universe so the universe created us we are this is it this is the universe this is the hive mind yes so we are the reason we have so many answers about the universe the universe is fucking stupid and also anybody saying hive mind goes in muggle corner even in that context i will go in muggle right you know people got hive mind can you tell us what's the best

place to park and lead that's why we can't figure out what the universe is we gotta help janet find a fucking npc um yeah so that that's what i'd say consciousness is this thing that we've all agreed is kind of what life is, what we are experiencing. You explained yourself. I'll give you a point. What do you think kindness is? Kindness, I would suggest, is an act of doing good onto another.

But if you were to get into the reasons of why people are kind it's not necessarily like would you argue that if i i'm nice to you because i think it could benefit me is that truly an act of kindness so are you this is the thing that birds uh altruism only exists in birds or something because they will alert other birds to a predator by making noises and that doesn't benefit them in any single way that we know really. Whereas human beings, it's said that altruism doesn't exist. I personally believe that altruism absolutely

does exist amongst human beings. I think it does, but I guess if you give to a homeless person without telling anybody, would that still not be considered altruistic because the homeless guy thinks you're class? And also, these people would argue, I think, know you're doing it to make yourself

feel better yes so you believe uh it's a tricky one because you can go around in circles of it it's kind of like what would you chicken and the egg paradox it's it's not it's not um you do something because all right being kind is nice you do something to help your friends you feel good you see your friends. You feel good. You see your friends have a good time. You see people like you. But I do get the feeling of that. So if that feeling was to be taken away, would I ever do it?

I don't think I would. No, I'm definitely kind so that people tell other people I'm kind. Oh, yeah. So that I can be an asshole. And people will be like, Sloss, no, he's dead-signed. No, no, people don't say that. They see right through it. Yeah, they know your mornings. Everyone's dead, said. No, no, people don't say that. They see right through it. Everyone's like, daddy wants something.

Everyone just reluctantly takes what you give them. So yeah, I would say kindness, I guess, is what we do. It's just an act of being nice to your fellow man. Or woman. No, don't be kind to them but the we all fall under the concept of man uh what do you think dreams are really about um i don't really think you you truly experience your dreams because you can't remember most of them the dreams you experience are the ones you're coming out they're going to be things

are on your mind. If it's down to your subconscious, I believe maybe there's a collective memory thing. That's why when you go to someone on DMT, it feels familiar. I don't think you go to an actual spirit realm. I think you go deep into your subconscious and there's something within the subconscious where we're all made up of the same thing.

Not to get all fucking hippie and dippy shit about it. I don't really believe that stuff, but there is definitely a thing where we're all made up of the same atoms. We're all made up of the same molecules. Well, these things have to come from somewhere. Me and this table are somehow the same. We're made up of the same things. We're made up of things of this universe.

So maybe there is some collective memory thing in there. It would explain religion. So you think you could be going to the lobby? Yeah. You know, when you die and call a duty and you're gone yeah i guess i but i don't believe in an afterlife or anything like that i think we're just a bunch of experiences for something else yeah like we're all made we're all made up of star matter like things you know we you know are we the way i think we're trying to explain was you know uh stars exploded years, we're all made up from that matter,

and when things deteriorate, they go back into the Earth and they become other things throughout time. So part of the molecules that I have now could have been Catherine the fucking Great. That's cooperating. It probably wasn't Catherine the Great, though, was it? It was probably some fucking peasant, like, just wondering. Everyone likes to think it's some past life regression. They did say, and no one's like, no, you died at le mans in 56 like a pussy like you went to see a race car and you you got

decapitate your note and you weren't interesting your eyeball was a bit of dog shit in the 1500s yeah yeah yeah most of me i'm pretty sure it was just other people's rectums i think i'm made up of 90% winking assholes. Imagine you found out and you were like, no, no, no, Hitler's foreskin. Maybe that'll be the new, you know, we've got like ancestry at the moment. It'll tell you who your relatives are.

Maybe that's like the next step of that. They'll be able to like, we can tell you what atoms you used to belong to. And you're like, oh, good. I'm like 30% iceberg and 20% polar bear, this is so interesting. Obviously it'd be much smaller, it'd be like .0001 or whatever. But yeah, so it's good.

Oh my god, I was made up of so many racists, that makes so much sense. It's not my fault, it's the memory! It's the memory of my molecule. Thank god it's racists and not races, otherwise I'd be really annoyed maybe that's where my internal struggle's coming from it's just an amalgamation of clan members it's like me when i found out like i had a granddad i never met who was jewish and i was suddenly like i'm a minority oh shalom don't they do that on south park we do a south park episode

where he finds out he's like half Native American. Oh, yeah. Or like a percentage Native American. Yeah, it's about people. Oh, yeah, it's like kissing the chief so that he can get the DNA. But yeah, so dreams, I think, are a thing we experience that are part of,

which is basically, you know, you've got your id, your ego, your superego, and within that, there's the self-confidence. Yeah, well, I've heard of these things. What's the id again? The id is your base level of who you truly are. So it's like looking for warmth looking for food

looking for this is it it's your human instinctual need okay the I believe it's the super ego just call it Daniel or it might actually be I believe it's the super

the id the ego yeah I believe it's the ego where it's like that's kind of more your subconscious so that's your you know the things that will probably come up in your dreams and then there's the ego where it's like that's kind of more your subconscious so that's your you know the things that will probably come up in your dreams and then there's your ego which is the person you think you are like what you're trying to be and that uh but that also relates to that maslow's

hierarchy of needs and then you've got a new so you've got a new level of ego where it's the person that you're pretending to be online on top of that now that never used to be oh i'm not i still can't spell in this life or online like i'm pretending to actually be me the image you curate so so yeah i guess your dreams come from there and they're just their experiences or emotions and whatever your brain's feeling at the moment it projects that into you reckon like you know since we all share molecules and we have history do you reckon at some point when you're having a dream and you're like this is a fucking weird dream what it actually is it's like one of the molecules from fucking you know alex alexander uh the the great sorry to just be naming all the greats here i just think they're the best

you really don't want to show your workings on this i'm just like well because i was like i was like you've just done russia so go far away from russia You really don't want to show your workings on this. I was like, you've just done Russia, so go far away from Russia. I'm like, oh, that's... The Great Wall of China. Do you reckon it's just something that goes into the little dream receptacle? Because, okay, now part of this memory

is going to be you fucking Cleopatra. I don't think you have any past life regression stuff. I think that's all nonsense. I believe that when you go into the dmt world or whatever it is it's it feels familiar and the one time a day i didn't even break through yes i'm not trying to say that i'm like the master of this or anything but there's a familiarity with it the same way within some dreams you can be like i've been to this place before but it's not a human thing it's not it so i think there's something within us that there has to be the same way how you can have a load of birds in a cage just in a dark room and then one day they see a falcon go over it they all know to chirp and alert the other birds like

you were saying how do they know that they've never seen a falcon they don't know what a falcon is well that's that's evolution and instincts. So where does that come from? So that comes from a memory of someone. It knows how to do that. Oh, right. It's not learned to do that. It just instinctively knew to do that.

Because all the ones that didn't know how to do that died. Sorry, I'm not being, sorry, I'm actually answering these questions. Oh, no, hey, hey, hey, look, hey, maybe, maybe this thick cast is the one where it's like oh my god he's evolved beyond I mean I'm going to be honest with you I don't think that's the case

we're on the philosophy questions where there's no right or wrong answers and last philosophy question do you think it's fair that wealth is passed down over multiple generations what is fairness is passed down over multiple generations?

What is fairness? Oh, fuck, bro! Fairness is just our idea of... Fairness is Wilmar, if you think about it. Yeah, it is. Fairness is just me. There's no such thing as fair. Fair is me deciding, is another human deciding what is fair.

Okay, so there's such a thing as right and wrong? No. It doesn't, it doesn't it doesn't it's it's what we believe it's a set of moral codes we run our lives by okay do you believe that it's right to pass down wealth and fair to pass down wealth over generations yes because i want that so yeah like so yeah I do but if it doesn't happen for me then no

but it's like it's like the same way like tax the rich until I become rich then do you know what I mean like

like it's that kind of so you're the problem yeah no but humans are that's just the way you think that's uh you know

I wouldn't mind if I was like how fatally was to you know I wouldn't mind if I was like how fair it was to become rich I don't mind paying taxes if my taxes were going towards schools, the NHS and things like that but it's not

it's going towards fucking nonsense alright but that's that's very much the current government but to decide that's fair now if I was put in charge

would I fix any of that stuff? probably not I'd probably rig the system to benefit me which is what humans will do it's not that I don't think that's all was put in charge would i fix any of that stuff probably not i'd probably rig the system to benefit me which is what humans will do it's not that power i don't think that's all humans though like there are good i mean there's there's none at the moment but there are good people who therefore i believe there are good people and if they were to become politicians what's good is you've acknowledged your own selfishness you've went i would actually fucking rig the system to

benefit me if i was on top right and you've stayed away from politics half these kinds like do that and the pursued it yeah and that's what makes them the super current at least your your consciousness and your level of intelligence and ability has stopped you but i don't think i don't think intelligence has anything to do with it like but yeah so so should it be passed down for a generation i guess and i guess it it depends where you stand on it that's fair fair doesn't exist i i don't believe it is it's like there's like a it's nietzsche isn't it who's like uh constantly misquoted but he he believes like by joey barton joey barton i just remember the only thing i know about nietzsche is that when joey barton Twitter, he would just quote Nietzsche on Twitter.

So that's good that he does it because it's basically what thick people say. You drop like one of the most base level philosophers in. And his thing was, it's kind of misunderstood, but his thing is it's mistaken as nihilism, but he's like, actually there's beauty in life because there's no meaning. Every sort of set of democrazy we have,

we decide so good and evil what are the you know the the horrors of the world are you look at something and you go we okay put it this way like yeah we can all sit here and go the holocaust is bad but termites don't know it exists it doesn't work into their world i'm pretty sure if we can explain oh to be fair i reckon if we were to explain the holocaust and termites termites would be like but you do that to us all the time whenever you find us in our in your houses that's all you do to us okay so yeah that so that that's like one of my favorite quotes actually is from uh uh watchmen where ozzy man ozzy man dies and

dr manhattan and i like having it out in this fight and uh ozzy mendias goes but i'm the smartest man in the world and dr manhattan who's meant to be omniscient he's omnipotent goes the smartest human means as much to me as the smartest term i and it puts in this term of like oh yeah in the grand scheme of things what does it it doesn't really matter like the universe goes like if i was to step outside and get hit by a bus I don't know why there's a bus going in your garden

but I died the people around me are sad but it doesn't mean anything because the world the world continues everything goes on

life continues but then yeah okay I'll still put the podcast up that's how I and I'll actually oh you would milk the you'd make it a

Patreon exclusive the last ever one absolutely absolutely fuck when I'd make it a Patreon exclusive the last ever one absolutely absolutely fuck when I'd split it like three bits alright you went for your your favoured round there

the philosophy one you did quite well thank you what would you like next let's go history where was Napoleon born France Corsica

where's that little island of fucking France in it yeah well it's a little island don't little island me I don't

care he's French he led France he's French well he didn't lead the armies of Corsica did he he didn't invade Corsica with

Russia he didn't invade Russia with Corsica he went with France did he yeah all right well fair play you win

that round. In Russia, there were the Bolsheviks and the... Red fucking... No, the Mensheviks. The Red Fuckers? The Mensheviks. I don't know. I assumed because Russia's always Europe. The Bolsheviks were like Lenin and all them boys.

Yes, aye. And the party that Lenin was going against was the Mensheviks. I didn't know that. I thought he was just trying to kill the Tsar. Oh, I'm not actually up to that bit in my lectures yet, so you're slightly ahead. Oh, right, yeah. Well, not to spoil it for you, but he killed

the Tsar. Guys, guys, guys, I've been keeping off the news, so don't tell me what happens with Russia. I'm so excited to catch up. I'm watching the news from the start. You're going to want to end around season 1933 when I get to Ukraine because they become the bad guys very quickly. Name five presidents pre-George Bush.

Bill Clinton. Yeah. George Bush Senior. Great. Good. That's the one he meant. You've got two wrong so far uh harry truman

yeah richard nixon yeah george washington great hey blinken yeah john f kennedy

john f kennedy they're fucking they've had a few they have had a few i love that you started real recent as well well because yeah

well because i was also like FDR yeah Franklin Roosevelt was the other one in the wheelchair yeah hi

how did Margaret there's two questions there's a question and then a bonus question bonus point how did Margaret Thatcher die and for a bonus point why is it still funny

uh she died like a dog no she did she did she did she did she did she did I Uh, she died like a dog. No. She did. She did. I see the joke. She died like a dog?

Uh, because she died of a... Because she had a stroke. Yeah. And that's why it's funny. There you go. Two points. How long did the hundred year war between France and England last? You asked me on this one

The last one Did I? Yeah It's like 113 years or something So close 160 Okay I mean good

Good I mean the one You didn't get right there Was the one That I thought you'd get And also I didn't even think It was a valid question I'm pretty sure there were

Other parties Apart from the Bolsheviks And the Mensheviks. I think I was just trying to reduce it. Okay. Quick maths. Five plus seven.

Twelve. Yeah. Eight times eight. Sixty-two. Sixty-four. Oh, fuck. Square root of a hundred. Twenty-five.

Dead. One minus minus one. You thought twenty-five twenty-fives was a hundred? I'm not going to lie. I, I, I, dead 1 minus minus 1 you thought 25 25s was 100 I'm not gonna lie I yeah sure

I don't really give a fuck about maths it's for some fucking other nerds to learn not me I'm not trying to build anything you gotta learn about rectangles 1 minus minus 1 0 Not me. I'm not trying to build anything. You've got to learn about rectangles. One minus minus one. Zero. No, two.

Oh. Well, you shouldn't have asked it like that. That's a dumb way to ask something. That's how you ask the question. What a silly way. Of course, I'm going to trip up on that. Yeah, of course. I'm not going to.

One minus minus one. Fucking one plus one. If one equals three, two equals three, three equals five, four equals four, five equals four, what does six equal?

All right, you've got to ask that again. If one equals three, two equals three, three equals five, four equals four, 1 equals 3 2 equals 3 3 equals 5 4 equals 4 and 5 equals 4 what does 6 equal? 7 3

because there are 3 letters in 6 that's good there's 3 in 1 there's 3 in 2 I was looking for a patent I was looking for a patent and I lost it that's a fucking

disgrace that's a disgrace you know what you're up to you've gone in with the philosophy and history you know I'd get it and you've come with this absolute nonsense

bro I'm not autistic I'm not gonna notice don't fucking sit around learning bus schedules all day memorising numbers I've got shit to do I can't fucking

I'm not Edward Nygma or whatever his name or the guy who cracked the Enigma code Edward Nygma it's the riddle yeah I know Alan Turing

Alan Turing yeah sure but like he fucking sitting there looking for codes and things. Okay.

Do you want riddle round? Let's do the riddle round. Okay. And I want to clarify, this came from a website called Riddles for Kids. So. And let me tell you, when I mistyped Fiddles for Kids,

the police were down here so quick what has to be broken before you can use it you guys are gonna have to feel some dead air don't say women don't say women

it's funny but it's not right it's funny for the wrong reasons what has to be broken before you can use it i know the answer can you guys feel some dead air while you guys have a chat or something um yeah it's it's actually quite easy when you think about it no No. It's egg. It's an ingredient. An egg. There you go. What begins with T, finishes with T, and has T in it?

What was that? What starts with T, finishes with T, and has T in it? Oh, it says word. Uh-huh. Oh, okay. So what starts with T

finishes with T and has T in it has T in it I don't know teapot teapot no very good it's got T in it

yeah that's good they've done me there do you ever do that do you ever do that real good dad joke where you're like like a golf peg

three letters and then someone shows T and you're like aye please milk two sugars. I think what we've learned is if I was Batman,

the Riddler would never be caught. Liquid would never hurt. Man, the Riddler wasn't caught in this Batman. Like, I, look,

sorry to go slightly off topic here, but have you seen the new Batman? Yeah, I liked it. Well, I thought it was really good, but I was so

excited for them to finally do bruce wayne as like the world's greatest detective i think that's such a thing that they've often skimmed over i know christian bale's batman touching it because you know they he worked out the joker's fucking fingerprint from the bullet that exploded and he traced it back to that and that's really good that was like the greatest detective right in this one when it's like he's the greatest detective he doesn't work out anything other than the three birthday cards riddler gets him at the end of the movie spoiler alert riddler is in prison kind of because of him and riddler's like ah and you worked out my foolproof plan and you because you're like me and we're we're the same and you know that i'm gonna blow up the wall so that gotham gets flooded and batman's like yeah yeah i did work that you're gonna what huh what huh what and then it happens and then he goes out you're like oh so the worst

batman ever didn't work out a fucking thing yeah but you know he's trying his hardest like i am like it's you know it's it's difficult yeah but you've been c trying his hardest like I am here like it's you know it's difficult yeah but you've been cussed for a thick cuss you're perfectly cussed for this he did very much employ himself

didn't he Batman yeah and also the bit where like like Redler's just going Bruce Wayne Bruce Wayne Bruce Wayne and Batman's only

defence for that is oh fuck he won't I don't know I've been caught he's the one in prison you oh, I've been caught. He's the one in prison, you're like, I've been rumbled. What has hands but can't clap? Your audience.

They just can't bring themselves to do it. Coming from this cunt's audience who clicks all the time. I do fucking hate that. Do you get a lot of clicks? No, I don't. I did briefly in New York. What's the audience clicking? So you know how, you know how, right, you know the left, right?

And you know what we're like, right? And you know what the other left are fucking like. There was a time where, you know how it's like, we're going to change the world for 0.1% of the population. That's what the left is all about. So they're still clapping out the game for amputees? No, no, no, no, no. For people that get scared by loud noises.

Oh, what? Aye. So they really try to... Oh, a comedy show with a sound system. Human beings who hide under the table when fireworks go off. Aye, yeah, yeah. They really tried to... What, soldiers?

Yeah, yeah. They really tried to... What, soldiers? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Clock. Very good. You see, I'm not good at thinking outside the box like this. More inside of it.

I'm inside of it. It's not even really a box. I'm thinking about the box. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? Time. Oh, I mean, good, but no, footsteps. The more you take The more you leave behind What am I? Time Oh I mean

Good But no Footsteps Oh good Let's go on to Science Now I'm not I must admit

I used to really like science I did my What was your favourite Type of science? Physics I did I did My work experience At the Medical engineering And physics department Of What was your favourite type of science? Physics. We've got some physics questions for you.

I did my work experience at the medical engineering and physics department of King's College. And what did that work experience entail? Okay, so I was doing well up until it came to like, there was this day where I just had to file stuff, just like put everything in filing. That was my last day. And I didn't know alphabetical filing of like any, any,

any, and I mean like, of like, of like the NHS, God bless it. But I, they shouldn't have employed a 15 year old kid. It's really stretched of your,

if you're there as a volunteer. And they were like, like all week, I'd be not fixing equipment and things like that. Like they'd shown me how to do that. And then just left me equipment to fix. So it was like, they're like,

here's how you do it. Just do it. And I was like, fair do that and then just left me equipment to fix so it was like they're like here's how you do it just do it and I was like fair bit of responsibility for a 15 year old to fix that it's like a heart monitor and things like that

it wasn't like anything that was going to save anything they left you fixing a heart monitor it's just monitors your heart it doesn't save you it's just

that can go bad that's fine I kind of feel like they have to know what your heart's doing guys guys he's shaking a lot over there but the monitor

that the 15 year old kid's fixing his heart's doing because guys he's shaking a lot over there you know but the monitor that the 15 year old kid's fixing his heart is doing wonderfully defibrillating a kid that's reading a book so yeah so on the last day

I had all these filing things and I was like okay but say say I just put it in in whatever order I wanted to and then fucked off

and got a Burger King and went home what happens because I'm leaving this job some poor 67 year old person who wants to retire has to redo your fucking job i reckon well that'll teach them yeah well should have gone private so this is your forte then this is so yeah this is my no no i was terrible at it but yeah how many teeth does an adult human have? 32. Brilliant.

Unbelievable. Did you come with him one night? Bored? No, I'm just sick of science. He just remembers every visit of the tooth fairy. What is the hottest planet in the solar system? Mercury. You would think,

but it's Venus. Oh, is it? Two questions here, just because I thought the way this question was phrased was very stupid. What is the largest known land animal? Giraffe.

Elephant. That would be tallest. What's the largest unknown one? Is that something Is that how the question was for you? Is it like Is it something undiscovered Just trotting around

You're allowed to You're allowed to say What's the largest known Like Sea creature Because like There could be stuff Way down there

Like we've all seen That The Meg Right I did We haven't seen The largest The largest fucking land animal Like we've all seen that the Meg I did we haven't seen the largest the largest

fucking land animal like we've defuncted everything it's so big but it's so stealthy we're going to just dig into a

mountain eventually and we're just going to find out that Snorlaxes are real and they're fucking huge well done the

elephants good for them so you thought giraffe so I thought it's not a bat because somebody got out like I said squirrel giraffe was a good guess Well, well done, the elephants. Good for them. So you thought giraffe, so... I thought, well, it's not a bat. Because somebody get out, like I said, squirrel.

Giraffe was a good guess. Definitely megafauna. But I thought it was just commonly known that elephants were the... Well, it depends how you define largest, doesn't it? The actual answer is a beached whale. I suppose so. Not wrong. I mean, it would be, yeah.

What scientist proposed the three laws of motion? Newton. Very good. Now, for super bonus points, super bonus points, because we had to Google these. What are the three laws of motion? And if you don't know, guess.

Okay. No, I remember learning this, and you did that thing where you had to put a thing on a spring, and it would go down. You learned it was slinky? Right. Did you just... Well, yeah, that's how because it shows how gravity was yeah yeah but i just don't i just didn't know what you're describing no i would not say slinky was a spring no no there's this spring thing and you attach weights to it and it goes down yeah yeah okay you weren't describing a slinky yeah yeah uh unless

it's like an extreme slinky and uh no so i I'm going to go, the three laws of motion, I'm just going to guess, I'm going to say, it's not these, but it's going to be the fancy words, downwards, upwards, sideways, whatever the fuck. The three laws of motion are downwards, upwards and sideways.

It's going to be a fancier way of saying it. Can we get it? Right, that's why a call has made a fire. The three laws of motion are downwards, all plants are sideways. Is that a fancy word? It's the only three directions things can go in. In a fancier term, it's that.

It's going to be like force, mass, whatever. I don't know. First law, an object will not change its motion unless a force acts on it. In the second law, a force, an object will not change its motion unless a force acts on it. In the second law, a force on an object is equal to its mass times its acceleration. So you got some of the words correct. And in the third law, when two objects interact, they apply forces to each other of equal magnitude and opposite direction.

So if you throw two balls together. Oh, is that a fancy way of saying upwards, downwards and sideways? It's a fancy way of saying upwards downwards and sideways it's a fancy way of saying upwards downwards and sideways I don't think it is first law you know what

I can make this work first law an object will not change its motion unless a force acts on it gravity gravity downwards

right one second law the force of an object is equal to its mass times oh no in fact first law

an object will not change its motion unless it supports an accident. That's kicking a ball up in the air. So that's up. We've got that. Correct. Second law, the force of an object is equal to its mass times its acceleration. Right, that's... Yeah, that's sideways.

So, OK, can I just say... Oh, no, no, that's gravity there, because the force of an object is equal to its mass times its acceleration downwards. And then in the third law, when two objects interact, act, they apply forces to each other of equal magnitude in the opposite direction. They would bounce off each other and they'd go sideways. So, on a technicality that I helped with. And a complete, and a complete, and a complete butchery.

Let me just say this When Newton came up With that in what The 1500s Maybe 1700s Something like that Apple fell on his head They've had 300 years

To polish up the wording I only had like 30 seconds Yeah So when he first Would have come up with it It would have been Upwards downwards And sideways

And someone would have Gone out You reckon the apple Fell on his head And he went Don't whiz And they were like Was that an apple

or a fucking watermelon it is great damage were either of you there then we don't know alright it could have been true or false

lightning is hotter than the sun false true no it isn't man I agree but according to the internet...

Oh, well, then it's true. Is there a lightning on the sun? Well, how the fuck can you get struck by lightning and survive? No one's ever been struck by the sun and survived. It's nonsense. That's absolute nonsense. To be fair, nobody's been struck by the sun, so we don't know that yet.

No, it's not. That's nonsense. It's not hotter than the sun So we don't know that yet No it's not That's nonsense It's not hotter than the sun Lightning can heat the air It passes through To 50,000 degrees Fahrenheit Which is five times hotter Than the surface of the sun Can or does?

Can Can So theoretical So the people that survived it Probably didn't get hit by that one They probably got hit by one of the other I'd survive the sun one I'm just different

That's how you invented my win okay well you got some of those okay your least favourite round spelling B okay

is this the last one no there's one more after this okay spell B B E E good dystopian

you motherfucker D y s t o p i a n brilliant philosophy p h i l o s o p h y superb man if you didn't get that right and it's the name of your podcast when the podcast first went up someone had to message Des if you look on our thing there's spelling mistakes all over the description of it but I'm like you know that's what we're advertising you know what you're getting we're coming in

caffeine C-A-F-F-E-I-N-E brilliant and finally iCup you've done me dirty here I-C-N-E. Brilliant. And finally, I-cup. You've done me dirty here. I-C-U-P. You fucking part of that?

I've been there. Fuck! Why do you see me pee? Did he get 100% in the spelling room? He fucking did. So you're just like, you're just lazy. No,

like look, sometimes you open the phone. You've got dystopian. How could you not spell and? My fat thumbs, look, look sometimes you open your phone you've got dystopian how can you not spell and my fat thumbs look like sometimes you

spell it and I just think I'm not going back changing that they'll work it out they do right explain how

these things work rain so sun that's hotter than lightning beams down on the earth, right? Because lightning doesn't make water evaporate.

Fucking... I mean, it definitely does. It makes a good psss in the air, but that's not evaporating. I bet steam would come off you if you got struck by the current. When lightning strikes a tree, the heat vaporises any water in its path,

possibly causing the tree to explode or a strip of bark to be blown off. Fair enough. So, the sun will shine onto some body of water. The condensation then happens. The condensation then goes. Not condensation. Do you mean evaporation?

Evaporation. Evaporation can cause condensation. So that's what causes condensation. It's quite the opposite. And it's when it condenses instead of evaporating. It's like when it gets on a window and turns into globules. Yeah, that's what's happening. Because it's quite the opposite and it's when it condenses instead of evaporating it's like when it gets on a window and turns into globules yeah that's what's happening

because it's evaporating yeah so then when it goes up so it goes up then it like forms a cloud and then the cloud goes

and rains and then it goes again I mean yeah yeah I mean there's more to it than that but I don't I don't know the science

but it's true that's good enough for me that's what's happening I don't know the science but it's true it's good enough for me this is what's happening how does dry cleaning work you take it as some Koreans and they fix it and what do the Koreans do

they dry it they dry it like with a hair dryer nah they got some big fuck off machine in it and what does it do it fucking dry cleans

your clothes what is that? What is dry-cleaning? I don't know. Just... No? I don't know. Me neither.

Kai? It's actually not dry. They use solvents, like, instead of water. Oh, really? And the solvents will, like, kind of get pumped through and, like, break up the soil and pump it out. The soil? Oh, so it's like...

Like, just say, like, soil, for instance. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry. Dirt, yeah. So instead of, like, tumbling it around in water, it's just, like... Imagine it's, like, a carpet cleaner, the way you do your carpet cleaner, it passes through, but without using water,

using, like, non-flammable solvents. And I... Oh, hold on. I have no idea how this thing works, and even when it's explained to me, I still think it's fucking magic. Record player Oh like a vinyl one? Yeah. So the needle on it

there's little dents within the records as it starts hitting the little dents it creates vibrations that go through the knees all the time. But how are those vibrations words? Well because it's like if you look on that that's if you were to put that onto a for the people who can't see that's the audio track of this. If you look on that, that's if you were to put that onto a... So for the people who can't see,

that's the audio track of this. If you were to condense that onto a vinyl, it would hit that. That creates a sound. The needle creates the sound. The sound then goes through the record player and is amplified. Through the...

There you go. I mean, I still think it's fucking voodoo, man. Mate, I just... I can't... You could sit down and explain to me for 30 years. I could have been... You know what? I'd love to see Veinlander under a microscope I think it would look like terrain

is that all the questions hey you know what Elliot you did very well I think you only got I'm going to say overall I think you're under 10 wrong well under 10 wrong and only like three

quotably stupid answers yeah we've got the soundbites that we need you know we brought you here to do another podcast just to find a new

MLMO but I still stand by MLMLMO or whatever it was A B C D E F G H H H K MLMO

you just fucking that's the fun bit MLMO L M N O oh. You just fucking, that's the fun bit. M, L, N, O. L, M, N, O. Oh, is it L come first? Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. L, M, N, O.

No, you said M, M, N, O. You said M, M, N, O. They sound the same. But it's interchangeable. Here you go, Kai. That's what vinyl looks like under a microscope. Oh, nice. And do you think that it does look a bit like wave patterns

yeah I guess see I mean fucking fair play how do you invent that that seems like it should have come next like that seems like it's the more

impressive invention yeah than coding and data no mind you I also like how the fuck do right if that's how vinyls work

how the fuck do CDs work it was a laser version of that so they would try a laser on it Instead of the needle No it wasn't They took data from it didn't they? A CD?

It had more computer based No that's the whole point of a CD The laser instead of a I thought they received data from the CD How do CDs work? I thought they received data from a CD Because do CDs work? I thought the received data from the CD because it was all

fucking zeros and ones Yeah see it's a laser there's fucking lasers look at the diagram there's a laser A CD works by focusing a 780 nanometer wavelength

semiconductor laser into a single track of the disc as the disc rotates the laser beam measures differences in the way light is reflected

off the polycarbonate layer of the bottom of the disc converting it to sound so again just I want to do one where i get to ask you two cunts questions because this is this is i would love to nothing more i'm fucking sick of people i think i've done very well today doing some incredibly basic spelling and and answering some stuff I think this is I've okay okay

let's leave this on a cliff hangout we are going to come back with thick cast for this time it's personal yes

yeah we'll go from the thick cast to the two dick cast you can do a quiz that me and Kaya are against

each other in absolutely done perfect that'll be the next time thank you very much for joining us on the

podcast and also letting us very lightly bully you oh yeah please plug your podcast Instagram at Elliot Steele

and on Twitter at Elliot Steele com I also have a podcast P-TEC Philosophers which is a lot of fighters it's doing really well actually it's quite it's fucking insane

that people want to tune in and listen to me be stupid it's incredible we're bringing back the dad jokes while you're here oh yeah fucking forgot about that

yeah are you doing the fringe this year I am not doing the fringe are you going to be up I am not going to be up at the fringe

where are we coming to see everybody alright Mr. work in progress yeah he's all fucking busy we're going to

Germany and Austria I think we're going to Germany and Austria oh yes oh yeah we're going to Germany And Austria I think We're going to Germany And Austria Oh yes Oh yeah

We're off to So The first Vienna show Is sold out The second Vienna show Is not sold out Graz is not sold out Yet

Then we're off to I think about five or six German cities I keep saying cities I will have a city though Berlin, Munich Offenbach Cologne

And then the two other ones that I keep forgetting I'm very sorry, DanielSloss.com Also, check We're going to Prague and Zurich So please, please do come to Zurich It's great, man It's good Kai

Your dad asks for anal And if his partner says no, he clucks like a chicken Until they concede Do you want to do some anal tonight? No, I'm just not in the mood Your dad asks for anal, and if his partner says no, he clucks like a chicken until they concede. Do you want to do some anal tonight? No, I'm just not in the mood. Grow up, Kev. I'm 52, that's not going to...

Kev, we've been married for like 30 Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Daniel Ever since your dad got a job in a hospice He claims he can deadlift a lot Elliot your dad sets fire to his mouthwash and has it like a flame in something Elliot your dad

asks for consent before entering a woman but only because he's a vampire Kai your dad keeps getting Hotel California and Hotel Rwanda mixed up. And sang the entire script of the 121 minute 2005 hard-hitting Oscar-nominated film with Don Cheadle at karaoke night.

Including all stage directions and the credits. He did the trailers. Elliot, your dad patronises women because he thinks that's how you make them come. Kai, your dad got his penis pierced

several times so he could play it like the recorder when he pees. Daniel, your dad has a periscope. It's so his sperm can see if it's safe to come out. Danny your dad's armpit fart smell worse than the ones from my arse.

Hey Elliot your dad dropped you as a child and then instant kicked in and he yelled, Ian, right from outside the box! And caught you on the volley. Kai, your dad's Tinder buyer reads that he's an awkward Southpaw. Elliot, your dad went to take you to get new teeth and you put them straight under the pillow to get home to make a cool £32. Kai, your dad always has to walk around eggshells with your mum and that's because she's a hen. She looks like a chicken when he doesn't want to do anal.

Kai, your dad got voted class clown at school but it was based on John Wayne Gacy. Elliot, your dad approached the DJ and take a take and requested his own podcast fun with friends see you next time