Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Turkey Leg Ft. Emre Günsal

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

On the Turkish leg of the tour Muggins and Cream sit down with local comedian Emre Günsal who talks fondly about the growth of the Istanbul scene and recounts his time in jail for some quality jokes that were ill received by the authorities. Apologies for the half episode we had a second guest but he wasn't confident with his English enough to post (although we all agree'd it was better than Kai's) #22   Improve the contents of your fridge with delicious cider from our partner Thistly Cross using your 10% off discount code. Enjoy! www.thistlycrosscider.co.uk Discount Code: thistlysloss10   Join us at Altitude festival for a live podcast in the Alps, 1-5 April 2024. Get discounted festival tickets with your 10% discount code. www.altitudefestival.com Discount Code: mugginsandcream24

Sloss and Humphries on the road! Muggins and cream, cream and muggins, straight thuggin', livin' the dream That's our intro Fuckin' muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head that makes you laugh Woohoo! They said it can't be done! Are we in the same seats?

That's hack Ah, muggles! Accidental rim job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or am I just being cynical? Just muggled it up on fuckin' Mugglepedia Where have you been since 9-11? All right, since we've got guests, are you going to be a host?

Are you going to actually... I will be a host. Are you going to host the podcast, Daniel? And since we have four guests... Does this sound okay? Did you go and check the... I did a little check, yeah. Just get that, maybe...

Oh, wait, turn it over there. Right, okay. Yeah. I will... I'll host the podcast if you promise to slow your fucking accent down. I've already said, because we're going to have two guests on, Emery and Dennis is going to switch in at half time

I've already told them that if they don't understand what I say don't just pretend you've understood, ask Daniel and he'll translate it what's this guy talking about it is a thick and stupid accent

and it's a miracle that the audience understands you a lot of the time But when you come off stage You go back to your non-tell I can't practice conversation It's a gift and a curse, Emery What's the scummy bit of Tarquay? Scummy bit? I think I know this

I mean, it's so much. Uh, well, I think like anywhere east of Ankara is, you don't want to be there. No. Yeah. And also if they heard me say that they would actually like get really

angry about it. Oh yeah. Yeah. But podcasts haven't made their way out there. So neither has the English language. Oh, where are you from? I'm from here.

I was born and raised in Istanbul. Istanbul. Do you like living here? Well, yeah, yeah. It's home, you know. I like it. It's fucking massive. Yeah.

It goes on for a long time, doesn't it? It's sprawling. Yeah, but if it's the first city you ever get to know, it doesn't really feel like that. But yeah, from end to end, it takes, I think, two, two and a half hours of like driving to... Yeah. Fucking God.

Yeah, it's a huge city. Traffic's a problem, isn't it? Yeah, all the time. Yeah. If you were to drive two and a half hours south of Edinburgh, you're in England. Aye.

Genuinely. Aye. Yeah, it's about an hour 45 from Edinburgh to Newcastle. Here, you're just in the worst part of Istanbul. Yeah. This episode is sponsored by Thistley Cross Cider The best Scottish cider They don't pay us to say that

If you want to get a 10% discount On any order of Thistley Cross Cider You can go to thistleycrosscider.co.uk And you use the promo code THISTLEYSLOSS That's right, it is an excellent pun THISTLEYSLOSS10 THISTLEYSLOSS10 Will get you a 10% discount

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please do tag us in with your order, having a couple of drinks and drinking responsibly. Speaker 2 00,001,002,003,004,005,006,007,008,009,0010,001,002,003,004,005,006,007,007,008,009,009,0010,0010,0011,0012,0013,0014,0015,0016,0017,0018,0019,0020,0021,0022,0023,0024,0025,0026,0027,0028,0029,0030,0031,0032,0033,0034,0035,0036,0036,0037,0038,0039,0040,0040,0040,0041,0042,0044,0045,0046,0047,0049,0050,0051,0052,0053,0054,0056,0057,0056,0057,0058,0059,0059,0059,0059,0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059, 0059 could you get up like well at this point i think like you could find shows almost every day of the week fuck yeah for like the past like one one and a half two years it's been spreading a lot before like maybe before the pandemic it was like two shows a week that's great yeah yeah but now especially in istanbul it's booming and also in like other major cities like clubs and like groups of comedians like are popping up like in Ankara there's like two three clubs I think yeah is there any rivalry between like the Istanbul comics and the Ankara comics uh not so much between them but they're like like between a couple of Istanbul clubs there okay right oh you see you've got in Satan oh yeah it is that you have like crips and bloods of comedy because like there's definitely like little rivalries

in the UK they're not massively seriously but up in Scotland we absolutely look down our nose and sneer at like the London, London comics. You know what? The way the hill that the oddly choose to die on is writing a fringe show for the Edinburgh festival in July, whereas a London comedian will start in September the year before and work on the show for a full year. And the Scottish comedians are like ugh posh scum

entitled well it's more like you know there's two types of people in the world there's those who did their homework on the bus on the way to school

and there's those who did their homework at home the people who did their homework at home are fucking losers yeah no confidence no

no natural ability no like I just feel like there's so much of me when it comes to comedy and like and this this is a very fucking like uh i think a unpopular fucking opinion but if you can't go on stage and like just be yourself and be funny like i'm not suggesting you don't go on with fucking material but but like it's you, you're the product. Like if I know comedians who are like,

I need to like warm up and practice an hour before I go on stage. I'm just like, you have to practice being you. Have you heard what Danny McLaughlin calls him? What? African footballers. Wait, why?

No natural talent, but turn up to training first. That's great that was great because the second you said that I was like what racism is this about to be

African footballers he's actually 43 but he looks 18 Russell Kane African footballer He's an African footballer Absolutely Also what works for me

I find is that You just You're so nervous That you're gonna You feel like you're gonna die Right up until you Get up on stage And then you're fine

Yeah Yeah And I think you've just got to like The If you do have like The natural sort of fear And the anxiety The instincts they take over

Yeah Yeah Just sort of That's a funny intrusive thought To have isn't it Just before you go on your brain's like you're gonna suck today and you have to go am i fuck no i'm not yeah i mean i i that still doesn't go away it's not a voice i listen to but like there's still every time before i go on stage it never goes away i feel like it happens more if you've got friends in the audience where you're like

people you're afraid to disappoint yeah yeah not even like not even fucking like disappointing but for me it's an ego thing of like i know i'm really good at stand-up and i know what i'm capable of doing so if i've got people in who've never seen me before and the first time they see me as me doing meh i'm just like i hear because it's not even like the fear of dying it's the fear of not being at your best yeah you want you want them you want your friends to see you yeah absolute a game which is like you know what you should have that in your head for every gig really yeah but i also like the memories come back of like all the times you like invited a girl you liked to come see you and then you just ate shit. I remember every single one of those times.

Like every time before. All the girls you like, you never texted again because you're just so ashamed of the state she saw you in. And really think that's a self-fulfilling prophecy that like, because the girls in the audience, do you think that buries itself in your head? For me, the worst times have been the times where I was fully confident that I was just

going to kill. Oh, I ate shit because of it because i was arrogant yeah yeah yeah i've yeah sometimes when i've gone on stage too fucking arrogant you get angry at the audience and you double down in the absolute wrong fucking way the biggest mistake i think i ever did in my career was we were taping my special and it was two uh two what do you call it seances or two two shows yeah two shows two different shows one was like at uh 7 30 and the other was at nine and the 7 30 show was great but it dragged on a little too long and it was winter so people had to wait outside for like 40 minutes yeah but i didn't know that so at the second show i got up on stage and i just i i only knew that they waited outside for a while but i didn't know that so at the second show I got up on stage and I just I only knew that

they waited outside for a while but I didn't know that it was in the cold and it was terrible so I got up on stage and the first thing I said was oh I heard that

we kept you waiting I'm sorry we were just having too much fun and they hated me they hated me and we used nothing from the second tape

because they just they looked at me like sorry I'm late sorry I'm late for the date date darling I was getting my dick sucked yeah

that's just what it felt like I'm more important than you by the way oh man it was awful so how long have you been doing comedy in Turkey now? it's just been

nine years now nine years I started at 18 okay good age so that's as old as the Turkish scene right? yeah pretty much when I started out it was like 30 people in Istanbul, just like going to venues like going to bars and first explaining to

them what stand up is then explaining to them what open mics are and then saying, Can we do that here? Yeah, yeah. Aidan McCullen- to say, Oh, no, without that, what was that like the first like open mics that you did where the audience had never seen stand up before because they didn't have options to uh well i guess it was it was both like you could feel that like they didn't know any kind of jokes so you know you like the most basic stuff uh there was some like a part of the audience for them it was like the most groundbreaking stuff because they just didn't know about it and then uh for for a lot of others it was just like too foreign too strange like they wouldn't yeah because for such a long time in turkey there was just one huge comedian and no one else what was

his name his name is jemil maz and he's still the biggest guy here but like he was actually like for like a 20 year period the only guy you knew who did stand-up so it was like uh he does it that's the way it's done yeah there's no other way and has he been supportive of the scene uh he showed up to one of our shows yeah he was yeah he was nice oh that's cool that must be nice for him just because he'll feel like the creator oh yeah he'll be looking at his empire of like every gig every night the god came to town it was like that it was amazing well you've done a good job because last night when i was on stage that was a that was an audience of people who've seen a lot of comedy i felt oh yeah yeah yeah

yeah i mean yeah those are like because like people who uh like know you know your stuff like those are people who are like well versed in like the stand up specials in Netflix and stuff like that. So in like the last five, six years, like people's knowledge of stand up just also in Turkey and around the world has really gone up. Yeah, COVID really seems to have like, lit a fire under Turkish comedy. Definitely. There was a huge comedy boom in the covid period for like everyone's podcasts and their online content yeah yeah um well i mean one of the reasons i want to bring you on the podcast today is because i anyone who's listened to the podcast is aware of my growing and changing stance on like how much i believe whether cancel culture exists and to what effect it exists like because you get American comedians who are like,

oh, I got cancelled. And Shane Gillis definitely lost his job on Saturday Night Live for something that he'd said several years ago and was held up to it. But that's losing the platform. That's losing it. You could get kicked off the one show for a Mr. Meal and you're passed.

And then you gain a million fans in return. Yeah, they're going to love to see you on tour but it was still man for him it was fucking unpleasant it's still mob rule like it's still like

you know it wasn't he was pressured to be fired from his fucking job because like this online

mob just decided they were against it and people being like that's cancelled culture and yes it is but also he's massive now

fucking every other comedian I know that's been Jimmy Carr has been cancelled a bunch of times very fucking jimmy carr has been cancelled a bunch of times yeah very fucking successful frankie boyle's been cancelled a bunch of times really jim jeffries yeah i can't look at the cancel tour of dave rappel yeah yeah but i but i guess for like somebody pointed out to me today that cancel culture probably doesn't exist as much for comedians near the top because it's profile building, but it definitely exists for like newer comedians who,

you know, if they do a edgy joke to the wrong audience, two years into their career. We saw Alfie Broden, like the lad I fell from under him as he was on such a good claim. Yeah. You can be ostracized for that. I think also one of the things like Shane Gillis complained the most about

was like other, other comedians like coming out of the woodwork to like pile onto him, like being, oh, and he was never funny anyway. Yeah, he's a piece of shit, like stuff like that, trying to get like their careers over him. Yeah, loading over, like trying to just be higher status,

looking down on somebody that's better than them, essentially. But cancel culture in Turkey, it's like when you get canceled in Turkey, the police come to your house. So you've actually gone to jail for jokes that you've told? Yeah, to prison. Like actual, like, yeah.

First I was in holding in a, like a police station. And then they took me to the court. And the court decided I was to go to prison pending trial. Yeah. So can I ask what the joke was about? You would like to? Yeah, sure. You want to go back again?

So it's two jokes. Okay. was about you like to yeah yeah you want to go back again so it's two jokes okay but the so the one that was the most problematic for me um one of the jokes is about there's this guy mevlana he's an islamic philosopher from like the 15th century he's really famous in turkey and also the world around people around the world know him as roomie. That's his name. And he's also widely rumored to have been gay. But that's like... Is that against the law in Islam? He's a really well respected religious figure.

So people like don't fucking, he's fucking not gay. That's like that. So, you know, I did a couple of jokes about that because I mean, like his name... For the record, Jesus was gay. I want to clarify that. I'm not saying this guy's gay, but Jesus hung out with like 13 blokes regularly.

He's 12 homies. And the only time he got laid... Like a Wu-Tang Clan or something. He just liked his bros a lot. Yeah, yeah. And the only time he got laid was with a sex worker. Like all of his straight friends were like, just try it, man.

Just try it. Her name's Mary. Give it a fucking go. the beard yeah so the jokes were like uh about so like his name is roomie so it was really easy to like make the joke like guys they're not gay they're roomies you know so yeah lovely uh and you ended up with a roomie in prison in Turkey prisons are like like there's no gen pop general population so like they put you in a cell block

it's like 30 to 50 people and you just live with them it's like that try not to tell them that you're a comedian otherwise they'll be like go on then tell me a joke and you do the set when I was like I arrived at the prison and when i was being led to the cell block that i was going to stay at the guard well before that like a couple of guards like cornered me and like one of them like spat

in my face like that was yeah you know you know what they do to comedians in prison yeah that was pretty shitty like they cornered me and they were like what the fuck did you say and i was oh because they were they were also offended by the joke. Yeah, they were mad about it. The prison guard had heard the joke and spat in your face. So I said it's two jokes and one of them, like on my file, it was listed as two different crimes.

So one of them was the roomie, the gay philosopher joke that was, I was tried under, the law's name is inciting people to hatred or something like that. And another of my jokes was about Atatürk, who's the founder of the Republic. And his joke wasn't even, that wasn't a bad joke. That was about like, I stayed in a rehab facility for a while.

And in the courtyard where all the alcoholics got to hang out during the day, there was a huge statue of Atatürk, who is known to have... Even he admitted that he had alcohol abuse problems. So the joke was about having a huge statue of the most famous alcoholic in the country in the garden of the rehab. So then I was also tried under because there is a whole law called insulting Atatürk.

And that's written on my file like he insulted Ataturk. So mostly it was because of that that they really hit, they cornered me and they said what the fuck did you say about Ataturk and stuff like that and because of that because like if you only do the joke about the religious guy the secular side of the country will come to your defense like yeah so what this is a secular country but if you do a joke about both of them then it's like fuck that guy yeah so you got you got everybody against you yeah yeah as you should i think yeah that's the job yeah then i had no friends left outside of comedians it's like if you're in the lane everything you're in the lane nothing it's like you've took the piss out of everybody then you've took the piss out of nobody but

so what happened was after that when the guards were leading me to the cell block one of the guards pulled me aside and he said don't tell people why you're here somebody asks why you're here you stab the guy they just give you a pen to draw like a tear under your eye that's what I said it was really hard to make it believable

too that I would stab a guy in a fight but that's what I said what a weird bit of fucking advice. You've gone to jail for violating free speech and they're like, man, you need to get murder on the sheet immediately. Don't say you told the joke. Say you stabbed a guy. That's also a thing.

If everybody's like, what are you in for? And somebody's done aggravated burglary or assault or something. You're like, I made fun of somebody. When I got to prison, it was right at the beginning of covid like the first time they announced uh the curfew like everybody had to stay in their homes i heard that news from the car radio of the police car with handcuffs on my hand like everybody go to their homes and i was on my way to prison we want everyone to be at least six feet apart now get in this six foot cell with 20 other men four police officers oh my god so then you spent

2020 on house arrest because of lockdown yeah that was pretty crazy so sorry just for the so when how soon after

you told the joke were you then arrested and how did it come back did you know you were going to be arrested

did they turn up at your door what happened the joke I'd been telling the joke about the guy being gay, I'd been telling that for like three years. Okay.

But only in Istanbul. So, you know, and to live audiences. So that was never a problem for me. Even if like one or two people got offended by it, it wasn't just, it was never anything serious. And then we uploaded it to YouTube. Yeah. Which is a fucking dumb move by me.

But like three months after that, first, like, like a summons to court came to my house. Like you're gonna, you need to come and like give your statement

about this joke. Did they play the YouTube video in court? The prosecutor read the transcript of it and he butchered it. Oh, yeah. It's the way you tell them. I was like, yeah, you're not going to laugh if you tell it like that.

Pass that here. I'll do it. You should have went, you've just did the joke. Get on the dock with me. So first the summons came to my house and I was scheduled to go give a statement about it to the police station in a week. And a day after that uh then i saw the news of it came out on twitter like stand-up comedian who insulted atatürk and rumi is wanted that's the news and then everybody started sharing that that blew up and once that blew up the next

morning just the police came to get me they didn't even wait for me to come give my statement and immediately it was was arrested go to prison yeah that's mad because that means somebody was like in a government official's office watching a youtube video yeah do you know what it is it's the it was the mayor of the town uh that roomie is from oh yeah a phone call like go get this guy and they got me Jesus Christ Mike he was actually like the I don't know how to say it but in the court case yeah he's listed as accuser the mayor of the town oh my god yeah just put it into like fucking context that would be like Sadiq Khan the mayor of London getting you arrested in Glasgow In Glasgow for calling Jesus gay

and saying that Winston Churchill was a wanker. An alcoholic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why he went to jail, right? So all you fucking British comics out there talking about cancel culture, shove it up your fucking cunts. Yeah, and there's not really any due process in Turkey.

Yeah, I mean, in my head, I've got lots of... I'm trying to not be ignorant here but my mental image of what a Turkish president is like shantaram but I do picture like you know it's the guards are on the outside that I just picture a lot of like sharpening knives on rocks and things. Like what's that big, I know you're not a Sikh country, but in my head,

I always picture Turks with scimitars. Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't know why that is. Yeah. You're right. There's an episode of scrubs. Speak my language already.

Great. There's a, there's a scene with a Turkish guy called Omar and he's wearing a Sikh turban. Yeah. Yeah, that's nobody in Turkey. Yeah, so everybody just like, if they think of Turkey, they just go, yeah, Aladdin.

Yeah. What's the, well, I mean, I want to get back to, I've got way more questions about the prison things, but just out of curiosity, what are the, what do the Turkish people feel about the English? Oh yeah, what are our stereotypes to you?

What stereotypes are we? Like, are we looked down upon? I don't think so, no. No? But when I say we, I meant British there. I'm not English. Well, it's... Sorry, let's...

I thought you were speaking to him. No, no, no. I was born in England because my parents are very responsible and I grew up with like an English accent until I was four years old I sounded like one of the fucking chimney sweeps from Mary hello mother I guess one thing would be people wouldn't really like be aware that you wouldn't like to be referred to as English okay you know that yeah but also like uh there's definitely like two distinct sides to Turkey where like one side

really clings to the identity of like hey we're also European like you know that kind and then the other side is definitely like yeah fuck Europe they're all fucking corrupt morals this is absolutely fucking mental for any fucking Turkish person to be like all these European countries are corrupt as fuck and you're like what was that how's your democracy

you've just arrested you've just arrested one of your comedians yeah a mayor did it I find that so do your are your mayors

the same as us where they're just like a kind of ornate figurehead that wear like big like necklaces translate are your mayors I'm sorry i'm really trying exceptionally well i'm also trying it's his fault for daring to throw the word ornate in there for some reason i feel like ornate is a word that translates, yeah? Ornate? I've heard it, but I don't know what it is.

Like a Fabergé egg. Oh, my God. Now, Fabergé egg's your language. I know the Fabergé egg, though. Yeah, yeah, I do. I know where I am in the world. You could probably buy a Fabergé egg at this hotel. That is ornate.

It's like grandeur. Yeah. Like our mares, I mean, I guess I don't really know what the mayors in the UK are like, but they don't really do much, I guess. They're dead on the Christmas tree, lads. Yeah. I think they have a say, kind of, but they're not. Yeah, they're like sort of in charge of the town, but obviously not.

It's like a ceremonial position, it feels. Not a lot of power, but it sounds like your mayor actually has. They have power and they also like images a huge deal to them. So they always like riding the best, best BMWs and cars and yeah, definitely like their self self image. Yeah, their offices all look like throne rooms. Okay. David Bainbridge, Jr.: Always scary that like, yeah, I think if I mean, obviously,

but also I mean, like, so as far as stand-up comedians going to prison, so far I'm the only one in Turkey, but. Would you be devastated if somebody else did? I'm sort of, yeah, I would hate it. Yeah, that's my bit. Yeah. You did a bit about prison, that's my bit. I would immediately say something to get myself thrown in the same prison as him.

Call him New Fish. Take him out of your pocket. It's the one thing I'm clinging to is the, hey, I'm the jail guy. something to get myself thrown in the same prison yeah yeah call him new fish hey i'm the jail guy but um but it's also like uh going to prison over a joke that's really widespread or like a joke you say something about erdogan on twitter prison like yeah parts couple months like maybe four or five months ago a 16 year old kid he drew a hitler mustache on a erdogan billboard prison fucking hell 16 year old jesus christ because i know very much like some of the the the memes that exist about turkey outside of turkey is just like it's i i personally don't think it's that offensive but you know it's it's erdogan with like the lgbt flag behind him or he'll be done up like that and that's like if you were to post that in this country that's jail time yeah yeah which is my

because i disapprove of that picture i should say yeah of course of course no fucking joke about erdogan like that so it's generally quite a homophobic country or is that just from the top uh is this this society it's also being now it's being pushed from the top as a policy. Like there's this effort to frame the LGBT community as like one group. Like, I don't want to say terrorist terrorist group but like a group with bad intentions who are all organized yeah and who all intend to make everybody gay yeah well to be fair the gays aren't organized that is like that absolutely so you don't have like pride here you don't there's no pride pride is uh every year well that's actually like I admire because every year they still, the gays, they do the pride walk here in one of the biggest avenues in the country.

There's a pride walk. Every year the police attack it. They pepper gas and fucking. Holy shit. Yeah. So that's their part. So that's really an amazing admirable thing to me that every year they go to get beat up by the police in the name of pride. Because they look at that as the struggle so that the next generation

don't have to struggle as much as they do. That's also the case for International Women's Day. Last night there was a, they call it the feminist night walk. It's women, they band together and they walk to Taksim Square and there's always police waiting for them there. That's the ritual now.

We're going to go and the police is going to pepper gas us. Surely this just makes the police a public enemy in society's eyes. Definitely. There's a lot of bootlickers, but there's also very little trust in police in this country. How do you feel? Greece is a neighbor and a rival, right? And they've just, gay marriage is legal in that country now.

Do you feel like they've got a moral high ground on you now and that you need to kind of strive towards? I'd say so, but also like half the country would also say, see, I told you the Greeks were horrible. The Greeks just turned gay and you're like, just they invented it. Um, oh my, I, I find that I agree with what you're saying. Like, I think that it's hard as nails, right? For anyone going to fucking pride to just be putting on their makeup, tucking their cock between their legs, sticking on a fucking...

Big feather boa. Big feather boa. Just be like, I'm off to get fucking wet. Right? Like Bronson. Lube. Have at it. There's women going on this really important feminist march,

putting on their makeup, knowing full well it's going to be streaming down their face once they're tear gassed. There's something inherently fucking hard as nails about that. There is, aye. I would, I mean, don't get me wrong, I've not been on many protests, but protests in the UK, I mean, some of them have gotten violent, but not, like,

I would never go to a fucking protest if it was like, the police are actually going to kick the shit out of you. Yeah. Like, I don't think I'd. Yeah, it's crazy. You fucking would. What's that? Go to a protest if if women were getting kicked the shit doing the road i'd fucking enjoy

happy international women's day i'd go i'd definitely run and defend i'd take my beating to defend the the women and the the gay people that were getting beat up with I'd be on that march yeah 100% for me it was like yesterday it was heartbreaking for me to like I begged my wife to not go because I just didn't want to see her go through that

yeah you didn't want to be watching Supernoculars from the top of your head and that feels terrible to like hold your wife's hand and be like please don't go to the feminist march baby please stop fighting for rights stop it I'm scared right

I've asked you nicely I put my foot down baby you have so many rights already come on how many more do you need come on you are getting greedy

I'm just I've got to tell you ladies come on so did your wife go no she listened to me thank god but yeah but then she felt terrible yeah and did uh and did he get violent last night did it uh actually not as much as people expected but

like it was like everywhere was barricaded so that they were like funneled into like this really small place that they had to to stay at and could go no further and stuff like that. So there's always hundreds of police watching there every step, walking with them, just fucking do something. Oh my, just that fucking attitude. Like a bunch of women just walking through the street

being like, could you treat us like people? And they're like, yeah, people weren't gonna beat the shit out of them. Yeah, that's the heads attack. Yeah, absolutely. Is that what you fucking want? Have you seen how we treat people? Yeah, that it's like give me a reason you know like this is i've just made like an assumption that all your police are men

do you not have female police officers there are some what are they what do they do like uh but they're like you know the saying uh americans have like uncle tom yes so it's like that it's like gender traitor yeah yeah i feel about yeah okay it's terrible to see like a woman police officer putting handcuffs on a woman in a feminist march you know yeah yeah yeah like i'm fighting for the rights that help get you this fucking job like that yeah exactly um also similar thing for the gays, being like, hey, I'm fine for you, right, to wear that really gay uniform. I've got one of them at home. Then they start hitting him with a truncheon,

like, ooh, harder. Oh, so, okay, so I guess the final question before we just take a wee break and then bring on Dennis. So what's the situation for you now in terms of jail? Because it's a suspended sentence, which means if you do anything again in... Yeah, so I got like a three and a half year prison sentence,

which was reduced to, after we appealed it, reduced to one year, nine months. And in Turkey, if you get a sentence under two years, that gets suspended for five years. And in that five years, you're on probation. So if you get convicted of anything else, you do double the time. You do both sentences. So now I have to be like, whenever I have a joke, I want to put a clip of it on Instagram.

I have to have lawyers read it. Ask the mayor. Yeah, stuff like that. Get advice from friends. So yeah, it's the mayor yeah stuff like that like get advice from friends so yeah it's tough to be on like shaky ground yeah

so is this podcast a problem? if we need to black you out distort your voice I think as long as we keep speaking English I'll be fine if somebody doesn't like clip it

and subtitle it yeah but also I mean at this point it's like you know if something's gonna happen it's gonna happen you said you've got

a new show to write so you've got a new you're writing a new show oh yeah so if anything bad happens then you've got content yeah but like now it's like you've got the next two the next two years you can't fucking be edgy at all like you just have to be like a really straight-laced comedian and then after two years you're like finally he's off probation let me tell you one thing about roomie loves pussy Off probation. Let me tell you one thing about Rumi. Loves pussy. He was an absolute gash.

I'm telling you. Never on anything. But he did like a finger up the digit. From a girl. A finger up the digit. A finger up the digit, Daniel. That's the thing I said. A finger up the digit. That up the digit Daniel that's the thing I said a finger up the digit that's like the

Michael Ashford painting God's gay there he is finger up the digit finger in God's digit man thank you so much for coming on thanks everyone

that was fun not at all can you tell just our listeners give them is your special on YouTube are there English subtitles at all

no there is not no but I look really handsome in it so you know I gained like 15 kilos since the special so you know if you want to see me

at my best and not understand anything I'm saying it's on YouTube my special Also I do believe we've got a bunch of Turkish followers

so then they can find you and listen to what you're saying and translate it Daniel and Kai think I'm nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And certainly not a criminal. Awesome, man.