Sloss and Humphries On The Road - Wankathlon Ft. (Connor Burns)

Episode Date: December 7, 2024

Before having their hearts broken by a failed audio record the boys were in full stride petitioning to have tugging added to olympic events, after Kai tells Connor about his friend's eventful journey home. Thankfully the camera audio has been salvaged so you can still listen to the adventures of Big Cuck, Little Cuck, albeit with slightly lower quality than their childish ramblings were intended to be consumed.

Sloss and Humphries on the road! Muggins and cream, creaming muggins, straight thugging, living the dream And that's our intro Fucking muggles! Tickling the clit inside your head that makes you laugh Woohoo! They said it can't be done! Are we in the same seats?

That's hack Ah, muggles! Accidental rim job in the park Kiss kiss kiss Or am I just being cynical? Just muggled it up on fucking Mugglepedia! Where have you been since 9-11? It's quite lucky that a lot of these hotels have two cook chairs now.

I know. Clearly, I think cooking's getting bigger and bigger. Maybe it's the couple just watch The Stranger wank now. Imagine having to tap out halfway through it and be like, you should just all have a wee sit down. Just watch this guy. This guy thatio'r ffaith hon. Y ffaith hwnnw, mae'n dweud, rydyn ni'n mynd i ddod â thrinda.com. Yn ymddangos.

Yn ymddangos. Judge Thrinder. Mae'n rhaid i ni fod yn thrinda. Ni allwn ni ddewis thrinda. Mae hynny'n iawn. Mae hynny'n iawn. Yn ymddygiad â phobl llawer, rydych chi'n sylweddoli bod swyn yn y DU bob lle. Ie.

Oherwydd rwy'n cofio... Yn ystod y gwaith, rwy'n cofio bod y cwmniadwr yn swyn yn Instagram. Yn wir? Yn ystod y gwaith, rwy'n cofio bod y cwmniadwr yn swyn yn Instagram. Rwy'n ceisio meddwl beth yw'r cwmniadwr sy'n... Yn ystod y gwaith, rwy'n cofio bod y cwmniadwr sy'n swyn yn Instagram. Yn ystod y gwaith, rwy'n cofio bod y cwmniadwr sy'n swyn yn Instagram. Byddai'n haws i chi ddweud, mae'n dda, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny,

os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hynny, os ydych chi'n gwneud hyn Yeah, cock stuff could be called. It would be so easy today as a comedian now if you were just like, cooking about because you're like, you're just like a nomad cook aren't you? You're just like a road warrior cook. You're not just like, you're not just cooking for the same few couples. Ah yeah. Or you would be the cook though, wouldn't you? Michael Clutton-Tire. You'd be making the cook.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How funny would it be if it was like, a clean comic, and then like Michael McDonagh and there's no DVD, just like 20 minutes about the weird etiquette of swinging he's like this he's lying there he's lying there on my bed on my bed and he goes to take a run up and then stops he's hard he's soft he's hard he's soft come on man he tries to switch on the bedside lamp the other one comes on the The lamps are too complicated! Why is there always one big cock chair and one little cock chair? Is it big cock, little cock?

Just trying to force a really relatable cock material. Are you dogging? Oh man, that's so funny. Michael Cockentire. That needs to be a new Instagram thing now. You're going to do the Michael Cuckentire. You know how Red Richardson's always doing Goggins? He's always doing parody Goggins. Stay toxic. So funny as well. You've got to do Michael Cuckentire, who else could you do? Seinfeld. Just doing like, um.

What is the deal with cocking? Who wants to watch that? I don't even like catching myself in the mirror. Yeah. He's eating my wife's pussy. My wife's pussy. And I'm sitting here in a cup chair enjoying this? No, no jambalaya.

Okay, so my wife. Remember my wife? We got divorced. My wife is a little Jew. That's because she started cucking me when I cheated. is a little Jew that's because she started cucking me when I cheated I told her I didn't want to have babies and then I immediately went done it with another woman cucking that's not cucking John you've seen his new face we're really angry about his new face because he's definitely had work done but it's so funny how Chris Rock done a routine ages ago with celebrities going,

I'm out of base, we'll rehab, I'm out of base. And he was just saying, he was just being like, how am I going to get out of this? Ah, the Chris Rock routine, I'll do the Chris Rock routine. That's true, man, it works. And also, like, because we, I think normal people, we do that thing where when you get out of a relationship you hit the gym really hard you know I mean try and get yourselves looking as good as possible but like imagine adding in the fact that you're like multi-millionaire

celebrity and you can literally just come back with Barry Manilow's face you got a pregnant actress you got like a whole new a whole new face, you're hosting SNL and that, what a nightmare. I hope she's just some nice tradesman. She's got a bit of that guy's money after he's stiffed up. That guy. That guy. Let's fucking relegating. But the cocking thing is... I don't even like it when the cleaners come in my room. I can't imagine a guy coming round to fill my messes. I would. We'll always have a windshield with the cleaners coming round on the day you're checking out. Clean up and then let me back in and then have to just do another neat enough time.

Don't make me deal with the shame. Guys, I'm a very socially awkward person, which is weird, because when you stand up, I think people think that you're just a social butterfly. But imagine just setting it up that another person's going to come round to your room. I'd be so awkward. I'd be like, I'm really sorry, mate, but I've just realised there's only one tea bag here. Can I have that? You can have her. Byddaf yn ddiolch iawn, ond rwyf wedi sylweddoli bod un te bag yma. Ydw i'n dweud, allaf i gael hynny? Allwch chi gael hwn?

Ydych chi'n dda gyda'r camomag? Mae popeth yn gadael am ddau, ond mae'n dda i gael bisgwtion. Mae dim ond ddau. Nid yw'n dda iawn i'r tro cyntaf. Rwyf wedi cael threis oed yn ystafell hotel ac fe wnes i ddod i'r cerddoriaeth gyda'r cerddoriaeth a chyfarfod ychydig o laithau o'r amser. Ie, ie, fe wnes i ddim. Geniwn, geniwn, nid oedd e'n ddewis. Fe wnes i ddim gennych ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o ddwy o Problem shared? Problem. Sharing a problem. Oh fuck, that's funny.

There's three or three some guys on YouTube. Was it Meal Meal? It was a good one. I built that one, can't I? Everything's better when your mates are there. You didn't want your last, there wasn't me missus by the way. Just for security. I cheated. No, I'm fucking kidding.

Just keep digging this hole. It was well before my time. With that one, it's very much like, woman's in control, men are at her mercy, right? And they're with one of your pals, right? It's actually a weirdly comfortable situation to be in. But I feel like if it was like with me missus as one of my mates, I'd just be engaged

in psychological warfare. Who do I look at? Yeah. Yeah. I'm having a three-way stair wank. So is that the new Dyson? I was having the good threesome and Matty thought it was gay of us to sit on the chair

To shag each other? We were shagging. I was like I'm carrying here, I'm ragging open, putting some tunes on. Oh god, nah I couldn't do it man. I feel like if I met eyes with a mate during it, it'd be like when you get kicked out of class at high school and you look through the window to get your mates out, I feel like that would start happening. That does happen. Yeah, there'd be a lot of giggling. But normally it's the three of you giggling because you're out there on the joke. You put the lights on and realise that she's gone. It's just been two years for the last

20 minutes. I had one where it was Matty in the girls' lounge, I'm just pointing at the bed, just being the picture of Matty. By the way, there's no one else here. I hate that it's saying girl as well because ever since I heard Katherine Ryan say, when she got there, it went to someone who wrote a letter and said girl. I've always said girl, I mean woman. Yeah, lady. But I think it has recently been like,

infantilized. And every time I catch myself doing it now, like since I listen to that Gaff and Ryan podcast, I always like squirm and say it, but I'm so like socially conditioned to like me friends and me boys. Yeah. The lasses, the girls.

Aye, the girls. I think that, Like it's taken as a real like fucking struggle to unwire. Yeah, the ladiesasses, the girls. Aye, the girls. I think that... Like it's taken as a real fucking struggle to unwire. Yeah, the ladies. The ladies. Because that sounds disingenuous. Aye, the ladies. Aye, I don't...

So the lady was lying down and Matthew was perpendicular. Oh fuck it, I didn't realise we were getting a mask lesson here as well. I'm painting the picture with... We were just both running parallel. And I came in parallel to Matty, but still perpendicular to her. So my hands had the headboard, and then Matty started using me for leverage. Oh yeah, that's not a good one. You grabbed a shoulder, kind of.

He put her in the old huddle. He created a pyramid essentially. But I was facing the same way as him so it wasn't like the traditional threesome pyramid. But you should never connect the points and the dots on it. We're doing the act of lovemaking here, we're not doing hamstring stretches at fives. Don't use me for stability. Grab his shoulder at five? Fine. Fine. We coxed on him. Grab his shoulder at fives, right? Don't grab his shoulder at the urinal. Yeah, that would be such a weird one.

You just grab the random guy next to your shoulder at the year round and started singing the national anthem. Ah yeah, but like, but it's periodics. He'd have to just go for it. Fuck, that's funny man. Yeah, but it's one thing I can't get my head around. One thing that I am surprisingly alright with though is, I find it really funny when a guy tries to flirt with my fiancee in front of me. Do you think they can help it? Do you think they mean do? Or do you think that's just how they're like trained themselves to talk to women? Some guys are just like dirty dogs and but like I find it funny now like maybe earlier in the

relationship it would have made me insecure but you know it's like once you've been through enough stuff with your partner, you're like, this fucking guy with a fucking man bun is of no actual risk to me here. It's just funny. It's like that balance, isn't it? Because I notice it when people ignore my wife. When like, that's not somebody that can help me in comedy or whatever, right? That's not a person of high enough social value to me right now. You get that a couple of people just like not talk, right? yn gwneud ffurfio neu beth bynnag. Nid yw'n berson o ddwy cyfnod cymdeithasol o ran cymdeithasol.

Mae'n deall y pethau y bydd pobl yn siarad. Felly byddwch bob amser yn ymwybodol o beidio â bod yn y person honno ac yna byddwch yn gwneud ymdrech arbennig i siarad â'r cwblhau yn ystafell ysgol. Ond hefyd byddwch ddim eisiau bod yn ystafell i fod fel bod yn flirthio oherwydd ydych yn ymgysylltu. Felly rwy'n teimlo y byddai rhywun yn flirthio â fy mhrofiad yn hytrach na'i gwneud yn anghywir. you're flirting because you're engaging so like I feel like I'd rather someone flirted with my wife than ignore her yeah the only way I speak to women in social settings is I get them to sit in a chair and I kneel down hi hi and I pat the top of their head when they're talking good for you you're there in a chair yeah and you kneeling down but you're patting their head so you're

reaching right up no no no no no I'm standing up oh you're standing up the way that I speak to them the way that you're not supposed to talk to a little person okay you know they're like just talk to me like a normal person that's what I thought I'm trying to give off the I'm as little threat as possible or I just won't talk to them just patronising talk Rwy'n ceisio rhoi'r llall i fynd i'r llall. Rwy'n ychwanegol iawn. Neu, rwy'n parod i'w ddweud. Rwy'n parod i'w ddweud. Rwy'n siarad â nhw fel un o'r plant. Neu, neu. Neu, neu.

Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu.

Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Neu, neu. Alright, I'm married. Ciao. Ciao. Have you seen the video of the man that tried to save the child from crossing the road? It was just a little person. It's a little person. It's the one person.

It's a little person. He just runs up and goes, is this baby? Yeah. And sweeps up. The guy's swang me as well. He's got such a grown up face. Yeah. He's got a bit of a face like that. He's got a bit of a crack on the end of the road as well. He's got like a bit of facial hair, it looks a little bit like a crack head.

Do you remember that awful film, Little Man? The Wayans made it. And that was the plot of it was, one of the Wayans brothers played, he was a CGI budget. Just because you couldn't get a hold of any people. Yeah exactly, so they put a real Wayans brothers head on a CGI little person's little body. And the whole plot of it was that he was a bank robber guy or a thief. Oh yeah, Paul the dwarf and Blythe.

Paul the dwarf? Paul the dwarf and Blythe, they used to chuck him through the window and stop him at the fire doors Did the waves of wrath do anything with Paul the dwarf? Yeah yeah yeah so, did they pull out of... Do they think he's dead now, Paul the dwarf? Yeah they don't know I'm vlogging Fuck I don't know Not in prison I don't know

Oh shit I don't know. Not in prison. Oh shit. Oh, fucking hell. He doesn't have to bend down if he drops the soap at least. Flex it up. Oh man. But I'll try and keep this back on track so the plot of that is which is really fucked up is that he poses to be a baby for this family to take him in and he's going to rob the family nice, so he gets adopted

how does he get put in the system then? I can't remember I want't remember the prequel of this. I want to see the prequel of this. Inns and outs. Yeah, I must have thought it through. But they discover halfway through that he's got a tattoo and that. A bit of giveaway. Hilarity ensues.

You haven't really got babies with tattoos since the concentration camps, have you? It's a serial number. Did they tattoo the babies? I don't know if they did. I've just read the tattoos to Auschwitz and they never mentioned the babies. Yeah, I mean they weren't animals. Huh? Oh, did you hear that?

That was your stomach rumbling. My stomach rumbled. You spoke about Auschwitz and my stomach rumbled. That's my solidarity. Solidarity, I get it. Rwy'n meddwl eich bod wedi siarad am Auschwitz a gwnaeth e ddweud, dyna fy nghyd-dau. Yn unig, rwy'n deall. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n golygu. Rwy'n about movies about little people you know Cullen introduces everybody to Ryan Cullen friend of the

podcast he introduces everyone to Tiptoes have you seen this nah oh man he told me about it

it's Gary Oldman it's Tiptoes and he plays a I haven't seen it but he's told us to watch it I haven't seen it

either but he's shown me clips of it and it's batshit. Is he even that old? No, no, Brad Pitt's in it. Brad Pitt plays his brother. Is he normal? No, no, no.

Of average height. Oh, I would say normal? I don't know. Like Tep Guardiola? Yeah. Like he hangs around with black children, Chinese children, normal children. Hey Tep, Tep that doesn't sound inclusive. What are you doing?

I love when people fuck shit up. Not normal the way normal is, but tired of it. I'd love to describe it. It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight or normal. You've already said the thing that everybody would go to in their head if you said normal is the majority thing, but throw the majority thing on the list and just confuse people who thought the normal is. Yeah it's so true man it's funny how some like you just put a bit of stanco on something but if you hit it and move on quick enough people are just like I don't know if that came from the right place. Did you watch the Gary Oldman one? No I haven't seen it but I've seen a couple of scenes, there's a bit, it's so funny man,

where clearly all that's happening is they've built a prop couch and Gary Oldman is standing with his legs through the couch. Oh no he's like kneeling on the trailer. Yeah, yeah. So his body is on the couch but all they've done is just make a pair of fake little person legs that dangle over the end of the couch and they're so fake looking legs it's like they've made it look like a Vitroicus dummy doll where they just hang on it's so funny man

and has it done that knowingly? or did they use all of the bunches like that? I'm fairly sure it's like a very serious film it's not a comedy or that. But they haven't even tried with it. That confirms what I think is we give actors too much credit and actually that Tropic Thunder thing where all the actors are so vacuous that they are willing to go along with any of that Tropic Thunder where it was like you never go full R word. It's been that long since I've seen Tropic Thunder.

That was Gary Oldman's full R word. He went full retard in. How did at no point in this film when you're tiny fake legs are dangling over the edge of a couch and you're talking to Brad Pitt, did someone not come in and go, I think we've fucked this lad. Yeah, you'd think there'd be a little bit of integrity when your team around you's like, yeah, you shouldn't do this. Also, how gutty would you be if you, because you've got to audition for that movie. Imagine being Peter Dinklage. You look around the audition and you go, I've got this in the fucking bag, sure. And then they give it to Gary Oldman.

You must feel almost as bad as when another part comes up for a little person and you're in there and Peter Dinklage comes in and goes, oh, I'm not fucking getting that one. Yeah, I'm done. Yeah, he's the guy.

At least with the ringer, they actually used people with special needs. And it made it so much better. Yeah, it made it so much funnier. Because who has, once eaten Gilbert Grape, who'd... Johnny Depp. He was like people with special needs. And it made it so much better. It made it so much funnier. Who has written, like what's eaten Gilbert Grape? Johnny Depp. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He spazzed up for that. He went pretty full on for that. Well if you had to play, what's like a good medical condition that's not being played in a film that you'd like to do? Because there's waves. I think the only one I could pull off is Death. You just like to be dead? Oh, Death! I thought you said Death.

Death. I mean, no one's listening to this, I could be offended, but I don't know. I think I could pull it off. I think, yeah, I think you probably could actually. I think I could do a... Could you? But I wouldn't want to. Even though I just, yeah, I think you probably could actually. I think I could do a... Could you... But I wouldn't want to. Even though I just like, unprompted, give it a go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I just don't know what the market is for the... the deaf guy movie. The plight of being deaf. Okay, erm... I like how you... I wonder if I could do a little bit... I like how you didn't make an attempt to, like you would do it in sign language, you would just do it in a deaf voice Because it's like, that voice, it's a shame because they can't hear themselves and that's why it sounds like that, they haven't tuned it but the kids still speak

So it's not like that voice is a disability, it's just they haven't been able to tune it Felly nid yw'n fel... Na, yn bendant. Nid yw'n fel bod y sgwrs yn disabiliad, ond nid yw'n gallu ymgyrchu. A mae'n ddiddorol oherwydd mae'n union fel os ydych yn ceisio siarad yn y dŷr neu rywbeth. Mae'r sŵn honno'n unigol. Yn enwedig wrth ymdrech rhwng y sensau. Peidiwch â siarad yn y dŷr, wrth gwrs, byddwch yn marw. A oes unrhyw un, ddim yn ffwrdd o ddynion, o'r dynion, ac roeddwn i'n dweud, roeddwn i'n dweud, maen nhw wedi cwmio'r tylion ar y dynion. Maen nhw'n ffwrdd o'r dynion,

ac roeddwn i'n meddwl y bydden nhw'n gwneud yr hyn rydych chi'n ei wneud at the bottom of the pool. They're fucking stinking, right? And I just said that thinking that they would just do what you did and laugh at the premise of smelling something underwater. And Milo went under for a smell and I thought he was just joining in on the bit. Right?

I was like, well, I'll just look at each other. So we just got back around chatting and I joined the conversation and come in with that. Milo went under to smell the tiles. Right?

And we're like, is he joining in on the bit? And he went, ah, is this a prank? are you gonna stab on my head and even at the bottom of the pool just before he breathed it up his nose he was like nah nah they're gonna get me here oh my god he almost killed Troy Hawke before it begun that would have been before Troy Hawke was even conceived oh my god I'd love to see a video of Troy welcoming people to a swimming pool. Have a good smell of the tiles.

I think it was that very same trip actually. It's the Festival of 75 Men which is that bull run thing right on the streets. Everyone wears the same stuff like the white t-shirt, white shorts and a red sash. So everyone's like that. And then there's this one guy, right, who, we got in for breakfast sandwiches, like coffee and breakfast sandwiches, like people queuing to get in, right,

and there was just this one guy stood outside with like, that get-up on, but he'd taken his t-shirt off, right, and he had a police hat on, and that's the only thing that said policeman. And he went, passaporte, as we got to the door. And Milo like rubbed his pockets and apologised and said that it was back at the accommodation to this topless non-police man I've got a story for you, I've got a story for you I've got one for you, me and my mates went to Ibiza years and years ago and we ended up on this like after all the clubs and everything it was like six in the

morning we were like oh come on let's keep going and they're like oh there's this part of the beach that everybody goes to after hours and it's lovingly named Ket Cove and it's just like people want to come down and stuff but like we went to this bit we were all just like really drunk and that but we're down on this beach and everyone's like there's music blasting probably 60, 70 people there still just partying and stuff and it was towards the end of the holidays and that bit when you're getting like sort of like teary eyed thinking like what a trip this has been, I have to get back to normal life soon and all that. You're hanging but yeah you've got one more bit of stuff to manage fel beth yw'r tro hwn wedi bod yn cael ei adael i'r bywyd cyffredinol yn ystod hynny a phethau hynny. Mae'n eich cwmio ond ie mae gennych un mwy o bwysau i'w reoli.

Ie, gyda'r foment anodd ychydig ar y ffordd a yna mae pawb yn dechrau ffricio ychydig, mae pawb yn dechrau ac mae'n dechrau, oh polis, polis yma, polis. Felly dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi'n dweud, dwi and a police guy comes and he gets everybody on the beach, music stops, he goes women in a line here, men in a line here and we're like oh fuck it up and he starts going down, he just goes down the line of women and just sort of looks them up and down but then he starts coming down the line of guys and he's like oh we're looking for drugs or drogas or whatever they pronounce it, he He's like, cocaine, we're checking. And he goes along and he starts opening up the front of every guy's swimming trunks. No!

And like looking down. And we're all like... You got molested by them. Yeah. And he went along, did ours. Like some guys he put like a wee hand down, I'm sure, like he got in there. But he just like was going along having a wee look and then he was like you know I'm ok and it got really tense and people were like oh fuck like didn't find anything off anyone and eventually he just like disappeared. People started to like kind of shake it off and get back to like dancing and stuff and then me and all my mates like looked at each other like here I am.

Yeah that guy was just wearing like flip flops. He had nothing to say that he was a police officer. And it was afterwards, yeah, that's definitely, I just don't think that that guy does. We just let a man in a T-shirt and shorts molest us on the beach. The worst thing is,

if a fucking man in flip-flops wanted to look at me cock, I'd probably show him, but if a policeman demanded to look at me cocked he's not seeing it. He's fucking out, it caused a fuss. Probably show him. It was just so you know, we all immediately group conformed. Just like this guy look at you Willy and it'll all be over soon.

I was like oh man, how guttable would that be? He just fucking went home and thrashed him. Oh my god, you know, but I know like he got Ran straight back in his flip flops, chasing between his toes. I know as soon as he got without an ice shot off the beach he must have been like, I can't believe I keep getting away with this. And they had no drugs either so

they'd used it all, all that coke dick. Just a whole row of coke dick right there. There was nothing worth seeing there for sure. Yeah, just shriveled up cold, cokie. Oh man, I hate, Just a whole row of coke dick right there. There was nothing worth seeing there for sure. Just shriveled up cold, cokie. I hate, I couldn't go back to a party place like that. Which is good, I don't think you're supposed to want to when you're 30. We kind of returned on a stag do to Benidorm,

because, well, just fucking somewhere we could play golf that everybody could afford. And then went out into the strip as well, and I am well along in the tooth for that kind of trip now. At least I like staying out late and having a drink and all that. But I'm not about dancing. No. I'm not about that.

Look into the lens, we're gonna put motivational music over that. I'm not funnily late night. I'll stay out till the bitter end. But I'm not about dancing. Don't make us move me bones in that way. Yeah, yeah. I'd rather go for a run.

I'd rather go and get drunk and go for a run. I feel every male group of friends has got a runner in it. A pissed runner. Ah, yeah. My mate Mike, I haven't seen him in ages I'd say, but just as soon as he got a drink in him, there was something about, it wasn't the money aspect, but there was something about like, he hated the idea of getting in a taxi ddim wedi gweld hi am ddau oed, ond wrth i'w gael ei ffrwngu, roedd rhywbeth amdano, nid yr agwedd arian ond roedd rhywbeth amdano fel ei fod yn hoffi'r syniad o gael yn taxi pan

yw'r nos yn dechrau. Fe ddywedodd, dwi'n mynd i ffwrdd yn ystod y dydd. Fe ddywedodd, dwi'n mynd i ffwrdd yn ystod y dydd. Felly, mae'n dda, mae'n dda, mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda.

Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. Mae'n dda, mae'n dda. He's a bit of a feature on this podcast, he's one of them names that just keeps coming up. He's not a comedian but professional plus one. I agree.

So I used to work with him in the sports centre, in Lifeguards back in the day, out in Newcastle, which is a good fucking, it's about ten miles from Blythe, right? I've rowed about that, I haven't got my trundle wheel. But he ended up having a fight with one of the other lads and the fucking trailer blows and no one really got hurt. But he fucked off and we were all waiting in the pre-prepared minibus to get home. And he just didn't show up front. We were trying to ring him on his knock. There was no sign of him. And the car was sprinting back. He was like...

It was a fair bit of time as well. I don't know, maybe it was about 13 miles. I don't know. Yn ffyrdd o'r blaen hefyd, mae'n debyg bod o'n 13 maill, dwi ddim yn gwybod. Ond fe wnaeth yn ôl a dywedodd ei fod wedi cael ychydig o hwyl ar y ffordd yn ôl i ffwrdd a dechrau cael ychydig o hwank. Roedd yn rhedeg i lawr, ar Stain Road, i'r bobl sy'n gwybod y rhoddau o'r Eglwys Unedig, roedd yr A189 wedi cael ychydig o drwg yn Ricketts, yn ffwrdd, un o'r rhoddau mwyaf anodd yn y Cymru hefyd. Oedd hi'n rhan o hwank? Oedd hi'n p run wanking or did he poo in for a wank? Nah, he was keeping pace. He was keeping rhythm. Run wankers, mental. He was having a run wank down the Spine Road.

Imagine, what would it be like to finish an Ironman? Having a sprint tug. Triathlon, you've got to have a wank in each one. Swimming, swimming, running in circles. Swimming, running in circles trying to find a wank. He seems to be thrashing in the water a lot but not getting very far. The pool's just like a fucking lava lamp. The cycle wank could be tough as well.

That's sore on the undercarriage. Fucking run wank is so funny. You're going to hitync ryn yn ddiddorol iawn. Fe fyddwch chi'n mynd i ddod â'r ddau gyda'r ddau llawr, rwy'n meddwl, y ffync cyrff. Fe fyddwch chi'n mynd i ddod â'r ddau gyda'r ddau cyrff. A allwch chi ddychmygu... ...yn cyrraedd unrhyw ddyn ar y rhan o'r rhan? O, iawn. Ac yn y llawr, byddwch chi'n dweud,

...'Dwi'n gobeithio bod y dyn yn iawn, ac wrth i'w gwneud hynny, mae'n mynd i rynnu. Ie, mae'n cael ei roi arno, ac yn mynd i ddyn, ryn! I hope this guy's alright and as it goes he's just yeah you can't put it on it I'll be like run as you put it up he's like what's that thing from Big and Bad he's like

you think I'm in danger I am the danger I am the danger imagine like a car broke down or something and they're just looking at the rear view mirror and he's just sending up.

Rickettsons just bombing on. Just bombing on the thrash lid. Perfect eye contact with the rearview mirror. Just coming down and I'm like, make up my ears. I'm like Michael Myers. He's getting the car to push and he's like I wouldn't be no where there son. Run like is despicable. It's like one of my core memories that that happened. I've never heard about Run Like.

It's an absolute core memory. And often when people have met Rick, it's like, oh well, that'll be it. I'll hate the runaway, what you got? Oh man, that is so fucking funny. There's always one of those fiends in every group of friends. One guy that just like got weirdly exposed to sexual stuff early. There's always like, when you're 12 and one guy in the group is like, are yous wanking yet? He was having a sexual job.

I've played with Tonka trucks and stuff. You can wank and play with them. I haven't got pubes yet. I'm a sponge. What else do you do when you're running? I can play with them. I haven't got pubes yet, mate. Don't respond to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else do you do when you're running? I'm usually playing tech, mate. You're not getting bored? That's a new variation on tech.

Wank tech. Standing there, you're like, oh, I've been caught. I wanna make you scared, caught, and you're stuck in the mud. Yeah. Catchy kissy. Catchy wanky. Oh, Jesus, man. There's a fucking another one with him. There's gotta be, Cynnyrch yn y llawr. Cysi cysi. Cysi cysi.

O, jesus. Mae'n ffyncynol iawn. Mae'n ddibwys i hyn. Roeddwn i a Rick. Roeddwn i'n mynd i'r ysgol. Roeddwn i'n dod yn ôl i fy fflat. Roeddwn i wedi gwneud gwirfodau. Y gweithiol. Y gweithiol.

Roeddwn i'n cael tri gwirfod. Yn siwr, tri tîm. Roedd gennym ni'n cael cwm o gwirfodau. You know the computer game of worms right? You just get three worms, each of you got, sorry three teams, each of you got four worms and we just went right, let's spoil this dude, like four items of clothing and then it ended up where the girl was in her bra and knickers and I was doing pretty well and then Ricketts just turned on me Ray's turned on us in the middle of the game of worms and got us completely naked he just fucking pulled out his fucking A-game. Oh my god. Got us bollock naked.

Then turned the gunner himself. I was like, oh no, I've been hit. Oh no, what have I done? You know what you should have done, mate? What you should have done is got the N64 track and field. I just want to take it back, it wasn't a girl that came back. It was a woman. It was a woman.

Track and field. Get the N64 Track and Field there. Strip Track and Field. Which Ricketts got bored of. Ricketts is trying to have a wagwag stay there and unmute us. Mate, he must have loved the Nintendo Wii when it came out. And it almost comes with porn already on it. Nintendo sex week. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Rwy'n siŵr bod pob ffordd yn ymwneud â hynny. Mae'n ddominant.

Yr unrhyw ffordd rydych chi'n mynd i gael ychwanegu o hyd i'r cyfnod o'r ffordd? Mae'n ddominant. Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddwn yn gweld y ffordd. Yn ystod y cyfnod. Rwy'n teimlo bod hynny'n bodoli bod yn digwydd. Rwy'n gallu gweld rhywun yn gwneud ychwanegu. Pan mae rhywun yn dod i'w ddod. Pan mae rhywun yn dod i'w ddod.

Mae'n dod i'w ddod. Mae'n mynd i'w ddod. Where's the one who had some... What year? Where's the one who drops his card? Drops his card! See if you get a naked choke and you know you're not getting out of it, it might be an amazing way to get out of a submission if you just start chugging live. I mean it's meant to be one of the best talk I ever had, right? But like if you just look back at the guy and go... I'd let him go. Struggle back in the UFC? I'd let him go. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny.

Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny.

Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny.

Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Ie, dwi'n gwneud hynny. Oh God, what else should there be? I'd love to like, because everyone would change. David Goggins stuff would be even better, even more motivational. Just watching him tie his hands and legs together, jump in the water and come out thrashed. Believe in yourself! Stay hard! Have you seen that video of him?

Where he zip ties his hands and feet together and jumps in a lake Nah! And it's all about overcoming fear and all that And his wife, poor wife is standing on the dock just filming him and he's like And he eventually manages to get himself out of the water again And that poor woman like Could you imagine, again, like, if it's like a dog walk I walk past,

you're standing on the end of a jetty filming your husband drowning himself. Wives of Instagram. Well, you're wives of Instagram for someone that's apparently hard as nails. You're there with your fucking tripod and getting the lightning rod for him. You're just an influencer, Dave.

You've just become an influencer. If you're as hard as you come to this, yn iawn i'w ddweud. Rydych chi'n ddwylo'n ddwylo, Dave. Rydych chi'n dod yn ddwylo. Os ydych chi'n gorfod, mae pobl yn gwneud hyn yn eu amser eu hunain, ac mae'n rhaid i ni roi'r hyn ar David. Dwi'n dweud wrthych chi, roeddwn i'n gwrando ar hyn. Mae hyn yn ddifrydol iawn oherwydd roedd yn dim ond marathôn hanner, ond roeddwn i'n gwneud marathôn hanner y llynedd a ddim yn hyfforddi amdano. Ac rwy'n dweud wrthynt fod hynny'n fy ngwneud i fynd o gwmpas. Mae'r I didn't have my imagination, I didn't train for it enough. And I'm just telling you, that's what got me around. There's these compilations on Spotify of David Goggins' speeches set to motivational music. And I'm telling you, man, it gives you superpowers.

The back four miles was tough until David Goggins just started telling me to fight my inner bitch and all that stuff to like Marvel movie music There's one on my playlist like that, I'm gonna tell you what it's called so you can find it in your own time because I did find with em, you know when I was doing the 5k and I was trying to do 5k in under 20 minutes which is like, it's not a PB for us because I was amazing at running when I was in my twenties but like it was just like a courage best personal best coverage crossing the finish line anyways that's a personal best for the personal beast so uh i was really like coming in like seconds over 20 minutes like a couple of times in a row and then i decided to like try and build build me playlist so like this is what I started oh you know what I think nah I

thought I'd changed things around but I haven't and Robert Bank by Confetti right and The Last Circus 2018 by Mike Ameleo, Black Skinhead by Kanye West you're not slowing down listening to Black Skinhead. Black Skinhead has a lyric in it that really bothers me. Which is what? He says, keep it 300 like the Romans. And that's the Spartans. It's actually the Spartans that were 300. Is it like that one that goes down on me like a cello or something?

Yeah. A cello is a string instrument. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It catches my ear every time. It throws me right off my wank. Ex-goon give it to you. Great. And then, Fuck Normal is the one that you made me think of. It's spelt with a V instead of a U. Right.

I mean, why would it be normal? Yeah, exactly. Fuck Normal. Fuck Normal, but also, I don't even want to get censored on Spotify. You know I had a show called Fuck Protocol in 2014 like it was mostly about rules and like it ended up where like I'd had done all this training to do CPR and then it came to the CPR bit and like we fucking a lot of the training went out the window. Right, right. This is what I do in the resuscitation dummy. Time to improvise.

So I wanted to call it Fuck Protocol because it's like sometimes you fucking do the thing you've been told and sometimes you use your initiative but just like there's the rules there. So there's like a lot of rules and initiative and fucking and then the situation where it was life or death and I had to just like fucking roll with it. Of course, you'd immediately crumble. Roeddwn i'n mynd i'r ffwrdd. O, wrthym. Roeddwch yn cyflawni'r ffwrdd. Ac yn ddiweddar, roeddwn i wedi di-sawu bywyd y dyn, felly roedd gen i bwynt o bwysau o'r ffwrdd. Ond roedd hynny'n y sioe. Ond nid oedd yn gallu rhoi postiau arno. Mae'n ysgrifennu protocoll yn ystod y protocoll. Ac fe wnes i ddod i'r sioe a ddweud, ''Stuff protocol''.

Roedd yn cael ystrych arno, ac roedd ystrych ar y dyn ar y dyn, oherwydd y protocoll. Mae'n ddrwg, ond oedd yn ystrych y protocoll. Nid oedd yn gallu defnyddio'r gair yr oeddwn i'n ei ennill yn y sioe. Mae'n rhyfeddol. Mae'n rhaid i fod yna'r awyrglas mawr o waith a'r hyn a hynny. Ond nid ydych yn gallu dweud ychydig o swerwfair. I wasn't allowed to use the word that I had initially called the show. It's so annoying. It's supposed to be this big explosion of art and all that, but you're not allowed to say little swear words. It's next day Craig Hill's blown by a fan.

Yeah. Yeah. Read between the lines. So the last one, for the last minute, right, because if you're doing this in 20 minutes, it's a longer than 20 minute podcast, but the one for the last portion of the last kilometre is so fucking basic, bitch, Eye of the Tiger from Rocky. If that doesn't get you going, that Rocky speech as well, it's about how you can get hit and keep going. hit and keep going. We need to admit sometimes, I think sometimes with cinema and that we like to try and act like we're too cool for school, but you need to realise that those speeches were written to make dumb men like us want to go to fucking war and it's something in it that still works. Well there's always more in the tank. There's always more in the

tank than what I think right now. That real rule real 40% thing that the Navy SEALs have, where they say that when you start to feel tired, you're really at about 40% capacity. It's mental more than it is physical. You notice this if you go to an MMA gym. You'll get a training session off a coach that you could never put yourself through in a few years. You can get closer to that as you get more disciplined,

but you're never going to get that quite there. There's always more to get out of you. ddim yn gallu rhoi'ch hun i mewn i'r cyfnod o flynyddoedd. Ie, wrth gwrs. Efallai y gallwch chi fynd yn gysylltiedig â hynny wrth i chi fynd yn fwy disiblind. Ie. Ond nid ydych chi'n mynd i gael hynny'n dda. Mae'n amlwg bod mwy i gael allan i chi. Felly os gallwch chi ei gael allan i chi gyda cwmniad neu ddifluniadau dymunol, fel hynny. Rwy'n eithaf dda wrth gyrraedd. Nid ydw i'n meddwl fy mod i'n llawer fwy cymryd o'r pethau na phobl eraill. Rwy'n mynd i gymryd drws, rwy'n fwynhau, rwy'n mynd i ddrin, mae'r diogelwch ddim yn wych.

Ond rwy'n dda wrth gyrraedd oherwydd rwy'n teimlo nad oes ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o ran ffwrdd o I've been, there's been times in my life where I've been really physically fit. But right now I'm a bit out of shape, but. Oh no. Oh, when did it stop? Oh, like pretty early doors by the looks of it. We've got a mic on there. Oh, that's a shame. That is a shame. I don't think we would have got the one cap on.

No, there's a, look, I'm going to look through the barrel of the lens now. You've been listening to a lot of this on the camera mic because we lost the... I'm still targeting to this, it doesn't matter. Yeah, just film them. Film them. The fucking one time the laptop's behind me because of the situation. We're just going to turn this off and check the time and maybe come back with some proper sound.

So we're back. I'm sorry about ddrwg am hynny. Y cut-off o'r audasitiaeth. Efallai y gallwch weld hynny os ydych yn gwylio. Efallai y gallwch weld hynny ar y sgrin. Efallai y gallwch weld y cyfnod honno ac mae'n ffwrdd. Mae'n eithaf anodd am hynny oherwydd rydyn ni'n dweud bod y stori Ricketts Wank... Efallai y byddai wedi bod yn y Hall of Fame. Efallai y byddai wedi bod yn y Hall of Fame.

... yn fwy o ddewis. Ie. Rydym yn mynd i geisio ein gorau i wneud y sain o'r camera'n dda o bosibl. Felly os ydych chi wedi byw 30 munud o hynny, mae hynny'n golygu ein bod ni wedi gwneud swydd iawn. Yn fy nghyd-degri fel deunydd sain, nid yw hynny'n ddysgu. Mae hynny'n eich ymddygiad? Mae gen i ddysgu HND a dechnoleg sain a dylid i mi gael ein cymryd. Na, nid oedd yn cael ymgyrchu. Na, nid oeddech chi'n cael eich cyflogi ar gyfer y rôl. I didn't manage to catch us. Nah. Not recording. You weren't hired for that role. That's it.

You were here purely for entertainment Connor. Every now and then I'll school someone at a venue on how to properly coil a cable. Aye. You good at that? I tell them to, oh mate, it's a real trick to... A little twist. Preserves the life of the cable. Do you do a little twist when you coil it?

It's just like the hand. Like when you're pulling, when the leg got a rope. I hate when you see someone, you know, do it like bending it around their elbow. Oh aye, aye, it'd be better. You know the damage that came off. That's no good. Hand over hand, alright. I had to do, I switched to electrical engineering when I realised there was no money in being a sound engineer. No there's not. Well unless like you're one of the very, very good ones and then I was like... But you have to go ac yn bwydau cerddoriaeth. Na, nid oes. Wel, yna mae'n debyg eich bod yn un o'r rhai da iawn. Ac roeddwn i'n debyg... Ond mae'n rhaid i chi fynd drwodd drwy lawer o...

Yn ffynnydd, roeddwn i'n 18 yn y coleg. Ie, mae'n rhaid i chi fynd drwodd drwy lawer o swyddi llai o ddau i gael... Yn ffynnydd. ...rhai o'r gwerth. A nid yw'n ddiddorol, roeddwn i'n debyg, roedd pawb yn debyg, mae'n rhaid i chi fynd i'r ffri-lawns. Ac roeddwn i'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, mae'n debyg, so much work and then I've ended up in a career where you have to do fucking everything yourself anyway now you're an accountant and you're doing logistics and you're doing constant right promotion I'll never moan I'll never moan because like I've had shit jobs I know lots of people who have shit jobs but like just generally being self-employed is fucking hard

when every job I've done before this was employed by a company and you really realise how much stuff gets done for you. Even just like having your tax calculated for you and taking it off you every month. Doing your own tax return is fucking disgusting. You're getting paid on a regular basis as well. Absolutely disgusting and it's such a bullshit system where they go right, it's up to you to calculate how much you was but then if you send too little all of a sudden they knew all along exactly because if you said under pay they go no that's not enough and you go so you know what your budget is then

just tell me the figure that you've got written down there and i'll give you that it's such fucking horse shit man and it's like there's also the jeopardy of like something going wrong like you know even just... Is this recording or has it stopped again? Oh it has stopped again. I didn't even hear that for fuck's sake. Alright you're still listening on that? Look we tried. Kai's driven his laptop for an absolute... How did that happen because that said 17 seconds but like we looked over well after 17

seconds so that's like that kept rolling and then cut back really weird yeah so I don't know what to do

right we'll just fucking wrap this up with we're finishing this thought and then get to the gig and give them a short

podcast good content but shit quality. I reckon we can salvage this. I reckon we can salvage it. Good. But it won't sound as good as a normal one. But still, very quickly we should tell them

I'll be better but the last few days won't do it. Oh, yeah. I feel like I still need it. We still need them, don't we? Yeah, so at the minute we're in Lithuania where it's the only chance you've got to get a haircut. Yeah and I refuse to get a haircut. I just like everyone here's haircut I'm sorry is so like bulking where it's just like a lot of harsh lines a lot of like you know

Alfredo Morelos haircuts going on here I'm'm just too scared man. There's also a... In Oslo everyone's English is like unbelievable. Should have done it there. But then here it's like people's English is still really good but there's still some translation happening. Yeah. And I'm too scared to get fucked up. Yeah I walked past Barba's and he was getting such a step. He shaved the same Roeddwn i'n mynd ymlaen at Barvaz ac roedd yn cael cymaint o ddynion. Roedd yn ymgysylltu â'r syniad, ac roedd yn cymaint o dynion. Roeddwn i'n meddwl, dwi ddim yn gwybod, a yw'n rhaid i mi ymgysylltu hynny? Mae'n ddifrifol iawn. Mae'n rhaid i mi wneud y risg.

Mae'n ddifrifol iawn. Felly, rwy'n mynd i'n ffynni'n ffynniol i mi, yn ystod y turn yma. Ac rwyf wedi gwneud rhywfaint o... Rwy'n ceisio... Rwy'n ceisio... Rwy'n ceisio... Rwy'n gwneud... Cwisiynu Lithuan.

Beth yw hynny? Maen nhw'n gwneud bwydau hyfryd. I'm trying to project now. I've just done a Lithuanian cuisine experience. How was that? They do lovely potatoes. They can cook the shit out of a tartare in this country. It was really nice though because it's done like a dumpling. I guess, I don't know what they do to make this dumpling. Are these zeppelins? Yeah, zeppelins. Do you know zeppelins?

I've heard of these. Yeah, and it was filled with pork, which is like such a, because it's an old Jewish meal. And then they've just took the Jewish meal and put pork in it. I wonder what happened to all the Jews. Made it unclean. Who knows? I wonder what happened to all the Lithuanian Jews. They just took their cuisine and stained it.

Stained their memory. So I had that and then had this like, non-alcoholic beer is not what it was, but describing it makes it sound like non-alcoholic beer. It's like a bread based drink, like a wheat based. You're not swol not sold me it's liquid bread liquid bread i had liquid bread potato lithuania ah lithuania never change i uh because you've seen this thing about the balkan breakfast no look at the guys it was a it became a Twitter trend and I wanted to speak to the guys from

Lithuania about it and they were like, yeah that's literally just how we eat. And it's just a guy who, he has like a tomato, a cucumber, a bit of bread, a bit of cheese and like sausages. And he just picks them up one after the other and takes a bite out of each. And it's like, it's just how they eat. Or then he takes a bite out of an onion and then a lot of... So he puts all the, instead of mixing the things into the meal he just picks up the onion takes a bit of it and picks up the tomato puts a bit of salt on it

takes a bit of it picks up the cucumber snaps a bit off mouthful of sausage bit of cheese and then he's downing it all with like drinking yogurt, like thin Greek yogurt. Because I remember being like, see that looks like Liberian. Because it's like Primal. Yeah. So I did one at home. You just ate it bit by bit. It's so good.

Fill your mouth full of stuff. It's so good. I kind of will get like a bit of sausage and a bit of egg and put them in together. Is it just that? No, because it's just like the whole point is that you finish chewing the thing and then go to something else. So it's just a lump of bread. I'm going to finish that.

And then he picks up the onion, takes a mouthful of that, puts that down, swallows the onion, has a wee mouthful of yoghurt. Then he'll go to the cucumber, snap a bit of that off and eat it. It's very mindful, but we'd be missing my flight if we did that every morning. I know, true. Yeah we've got that weird breakfast that we had in Norway where it was like, do you know what's funny is all these European breakfast, hotel breakfasts, it's like in, do you know in The Simpsons or that where they go to the, they're going through the universities and then

they think that they're back to their normal one and then it starts raining and it's donuts and they're like all right well close enough that's what the breakfasts are like here where it's like everything's almost perfect and then one element of the breakfast is some really weird european version of what it would be back home yeah like yesterday in oslo it was like a really good cooked breakfast and then the only sausages were like tiny kids like wee willy winky turkey sausages. Like they're getting like beans and hot dogs and like sieved out the beans. Yeah yeah yeah. And taking just them hot dogs that you get in the beans and sausages. It was just them.

And they're just like do you want them on your breakfast? Don't really but I will. Aye. It's like, the closest thing I'm going to get to a proper thing, but, so I missed hotel breakfast in Lithuania, but you said it wasn't up to much,

was it? Mm, nah. Nah. Nah, it was pretty basic. Aye. Like,

but like, like, yeah, like you say, like a, like a copy of the English breakfast. But just not quite. Not quite right.

It's like, I don't know, like, it's kind of plastic in it. But just not quite. Not quite right. I don't know. And you know what, I'm sick of like, I'm getting a bit sick of especially Americans having to go to British food. Because like,

I'm not making fun of the cultures here, but like, when you travel this part of the world, you're like, here, British food is really good.

And like, varied. And there's a lot going on. Because here, I feel like, it's like, in these last a lot going on because here I feel like it's like in these last few months we go like if you're not really into like fish you're having a tough time here, options are limited yeah there's some places like you know you were just in the Maldives there and I was

like I'd like it'd be good if you didn't like fish like so much of the nice things is fish I mean I like fish but like some of that stuff's pretty full on where it's just like I don't think they have a whole wall in the supermarket here that's just different types of pickled herring in a jar. I don't know if I could do that. Not about that life. Nah. Other than that, the bakery was sensational.

One of the best supermarket bakeries I've ever seen. Is that where you went when you were having a lot of experience? I just went over there, yeah. I had a bunch of admin and that sort, so I had to go over there. But it was nice, man. I quite like walking around a foreign supermarket. Aye. Because you go like, oh, we're all actually quite similar. Uh-huh.

There's mostly the same stuff here. Yeah, culturally, there's like, we're heading out for the same things. Totally. We just do them like a slight bit different. And the layout of the supermarket was all like the exact same as it was home. Do you know what I mean? Like the other wee bit where there was sandwiches

and you could get yourself a coffee. Do they have the culture of putting the milk all the way at the back to get you to walk past all the other products to get the thing? Absolutely. And the bread and the milk. That's not just a British phenomenon.

Yeah, yeah. So I don't know, there's something quite comforting about walking around a place like that and like seeing how similar it is. So what ei wneud ers Dublin? Felly, fe wnaethon ni fynd i Ffwrdd, mewn gwirionedd. Roedden ni yn Lisbon, sef... Roedd hynny'n dda oherwydd rhaid i ni ddynnu t-shirt. Ie, ac wedyn i Oslo, sy'n minus tri. Roedd hynny'n ddiwrnod o hyd a'r diwrnod o hyd a oedd y

swing 25 oed yn y cyfnod 24 hour period. I wonder why I feel ill. And then I introduced you to Shuffleboard in Oslo, which is such a good competitor. Best pub game. Honestly I would put over darts, even pool in that. I think so. Like pool, I can understand why people don't like pool because even if you're shy at pool you need to have a base level of ability to enjoy the game. Dwi ddim yn deall pam nad yw pobl yn hoffi chwarae oherwydd hyd yn oed os ydych chi'n ddiddorol ar chwarae, mae angen i chi gael lefel bas i ddiddordeb y gêm. Oherwydd gallwch chi, ar ôl 3 neu 4 gêm, dechrau teimlo eich hun yn mynd llawer gwell. Ond dwi ddim yn credu y gallwn ni ei wneud yn ôl. Mae'n ddewr gwneud drwm. Mae'r edrych yn ymwneud â hynny. there's such an element of look involved. Like you could have played the best shot in the world and somebody just kind of whacked it with a straight shot.

So yeah, it keeps changing who's winning, totally, like within a game. Just class company as well. Shout out to the promoters. Shandy and Christine. Shandy and Christine just like, super cool. Couldn't be any more accommodating to us. Oh they were so fun man. Such a laugh. It makes it was so fun, man. Aye, such a laugh.

It makes a lot of difference, especially when you're away from home and you land at a place and people are just really nice to you. Yeah, that's what I've been excited about. If you're coming out in those two hours, I'm like, oh, you're going to meet Chandy, you're going to meet Aulius, you're going to meet Lewis in Estonia. There's just a handful of people who I've been working with over the years and I'm like, oh, these are all brand new characters in your life now.

I know, man, it's great. And with if they come over to Edinburgh during the fringe or that we'd be able to grab a drink and stuff and oh and very quickly last night we had to grab a McDonald's because it was the only thing that was open and then if you follow Kai on Instagram you would have seen his Lithuanian bin shoes that he picked up. Yeah, it was a swanky pair of fucking shoes with a buckle. They just looked like they were made for doing that Balkan dance. Yeah. Yeah, perfect. They just weren't in disrepair.

No, they were looking excellent. But they were on top of a bin for whatever reason, so I'm now linked to a crime scene as one of my Instagram followers pointed out. Like somebody has ditched them, now we have DNA's all over them. That's a good point actually and you said they were so kidding. Aye they've been rained on. I'm not putting them back on, you're pissed at them. Chuck Nailman's been pissed at Train us, the daft guy. You don't have much sport in them, running down the spine. It's funny though, this is such a backwards thing, but I almost feel like you might see a Lithuanian person doing sport in them.

Just a guy turning up to the basketball court with woofers on and just dunking on your feet. Just whatever. Comes straight from work right well I think we're going to wrap this up I'm going to put that

to him because I never needed it we're going to wrap this up I hope

that podcast worked because I enjoyed that if that's all it was was me and he having a

chat in a room really well lit chat and if it did reach your ears if we did salvage it Mae'n dda i ddod i'r ysgol. Mae'n dda i ddod i'r ysgol. Mae'n dda i ddod i'r ysgol. Mae'n dda i ddod i'r ysgol. Ac os ydym ni wedi cyrraedd eich oed, os ydym ni wedi'i ddysgu, byddwn ni'n parhau'r tour i... Byddai'n amser i chi gael hyn, rwy'n meddwl y byddai'n Budapest a... Budapest a...

Prad. Ac yna, rydych chi'n mynd i fynd i'r adran. Rwy'n mynd i fynd i'r adran. Ac yna, rydych chi'n mynd i'r adran. Ac yna, rydych chi'n mynd i'r adran. Ac yna, rydych chi'n mynd i fynd i'r adran. gonna head home I am and then you've got like another sex and I'm gonna hang around and do go to me website I hope he's calm yeah and there's some dates on there if you're listening in the UK I've put those extra dates on in 2025 and Connors doing a full to end 2025 so get about that can't get your tickets and then I believe Daniel put a period on special out where it was just him I think that I think that may be the public episode now and this may be the Patreon one.

We may have to switch them around. Saying that though, ye's have paid for it. But you're the more forgiving ones. I know and I feel like if they're dedicated enough to be Patreons they will listen to the slightly less good audio. Aye, that's true. I mean either way if you're a Patreon you're going to get both episodes. wedi bod yn ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o ddod o