Small Town Murder - #146 - A Strangle Here, A Strangle There in Hutchinson, Kansas

Episode Date: November 21, 2019

This week, in Hutchinson, Kansas, a woman's mysterious drowning leads to no on being punished, but plenty of rumors swirling around her ex husband, who had his murder charge dropped. After many more years, and many more wives, this man shows behavior consistent with a murderer, including trying to murder someone... But will he get away with the death of his first wife? This one has some twists... Plus, another edition of The Prisoner Dating Game!!Along the way, we find out that looking at salt sounds boring, there is more than one way to strangle, and to never tell your new spouse about your former spouse!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Thursday! Donate at: patreon.com/crimeinsports or go to paypal.com & use our email: [e-mail] Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports! Follow us on... twitter.com/@murdersmall facebook.com/smalltownpod instagram.com/smalltownmurder Also, check out James & Jimmie's other show, Crime In Sports! On iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Small Town Murder early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. What if you married the love of your life and then stood by them as they developed 21 new identities? What would you do? This Is Actually Happening is a weekly podcast that features extraordinary true stories of life-changing events told by the people who lived them. Listen to the newest season of This Is Actually Happening on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. This week in Hutchinson, Kansas, a mysterious death goes unpunished until new evidence pops up in the middle of a strangling.

Welcome to Small Town Murder. hello everybody and welcome back to small town murder yay yay indeed jimmy yay indeed my name is james petrogallo i'm here with my co-host i am jimmy westman thank you folks so much for joining us this week again on another crazy edition of Small Town Murder. My goodness, so much wildness this week. Last week was crazy. It was a lot of New Hampshire. That New Hampshire, man. All week.

Oh, my God. What is going on up there? What's happening up there, guys? It's a mess. I don't know what's going on in New Hampshire, but I feel like we're trying to give it to Canada and Canada's trying to give it back. And we've just decided it's no man's land. Go crazy. Because that was wildness.

So go back and listen to that if you haven't. Otherwise, we have a pretty crazy edition this week. And then a little tacked on bonus with some prisoner dating game at the end of this episode. A little surprise. It's been a couple of months. I love that. And so I found some fun profiles. And we'll see who is going to be jimmy's one and only we're gonna have him pick

out a nice prisoner later on well we'll see i got i got four nice ladies and four nicest fellas for you so i got eight take your pick there oh yeah it's gonna be one of those but before we get into all that just want to thank everybody, of course, for the reviews this week. Those Apple podcast purple icon reviews. I don't know why they're so important, but they, for some reason, drive you up the charts and they help you out a lot. So if you want to help out the show, that's a tremendous way to do that. So just get on Apple podcast. Give us five stars. It doesn't matter what you say. So you're following instructions. So these guys are forcing me to do this. It doesn't matter.

What matters is you get it in there and it drives us up the charts. And we appreciate that a lot. Thank you so much for doing that. And also head over to shut up and give me murder.com for all of your small town murder merchandise needs. Also, all of your crime and sports needs. And if you're not listening to crime and sports, you're just missing out. That's all there is to it. If you're saying, I don't know, I don't really like sports. That's not an excuse. You're not. Doesn not listening to crime and sports, you're just missing out. That's all there is to it. If you're saying,

I don't know, I don't really like sports. That's not an excuse. You're not. It doesn't have to do with sports. Has as much to do with sports as this show has to do with towns. It's the murder and the craziness. And it's a setting.

It's a setting. That's all it is. We need to set the set the, you know, the table and give you, you got to know what's up. This is why we're talking about this person, and here's why he did what he didn't have to do,

and that's how it works. Or she, because there's a lot of... There's those two. Some women on there, too, so get on there. Also, you can get on there and get tickets to the live shows that are not for sale yet. Our two, one in Milwaukee, one in Chicago in December, are sold out, and in April for Nashville,

that's also sold out but we're announcing it's a whole we looked at the we looked at it yesterday it's negotiated it's a whole it's it's February through December man it's it's we're you know going to different cities every month all over the place so get ready for that follow us on social media at

murder small on Twitter at small town pot on Facebook at small town murder on Instagram. That's the easiest one to remember and the one I forgot. So that's good. That way, when we do announce it, it'll probably be there first before even on the show, so you can know about it right from the start and everything like that. Now, with that said, also, if you want to be an even bigger hero to the show, and these

are the people who really make the show, our producers, who we're going to talk about at the end, in glowing terms. I mean, you don't have any idea how... It's the nicest we are to anybody, because they're so nice to us. If you want to be one of those people, you can do that very easily over at patreon.com slash crimeandsports, or you can head over to PayPal and use our email address, which is crimeandsports at gmail.com. And where can you get to both of those places? Jimmy,

both of those are over at shut up and give me murder.com. I do know that links right there. That's right. But let's do the disclaimer quickly before we get into this crazy, crazy story. This is a comedy show. It's a comedy podcast. I mean,

we, we, we're comedians. We're going to make jokes. Jokes will be made. We make jokes at the expense of small towns. You know, maybe a murderer, maybe a police force that lets a murderer go free. These are all people that deserve it.

They deserve the jokes. What we try not to do, though, we go out of our way not to make fun of the victims or the victims' families. Why would we do that? Because we're assholes. Right, but? But we're not scumbags. You bet.

That's right. So if that sounds good to you, we are going to have a blast. If that doesn't sound okay to you, you can turn this off at any time. We'd rather have you turn it off now. If you think comedy and crime, just for any reason, no matter how tastefully done, you don't think it should ever go together, well, this isn't for you. It's not yours. You shouldn't listen to it, really.

There's no reason for it. You're not going to enjoy it. So let's do it now. There's plenty of others. I'm not going to tell you what they are make you go find them we'll part company friends we'll part company friends and then we don't have to hear you bitch later on i'm good that sounds great so with that said yeah if you want to have a good time for the next little while let's do this i think it's time to sit back and by the way yeah these live shows you guys are awesome holy shit the shout backs on the show you guys are coming loud and proud with the shut up and give me murders, and we love it.

Let's do it. Shut up and give me murder. Let's go on a trip, Jimmy. All right. What do you say? Let's get out of this rain. Oh, my goodness. No, I love it.

We're in Phoenix right now where it never rains, and it's rained for a day, and Jimmy's already complaining about it. My socks are soaked. Fucking amazing. I love it. I hope it rains for the next month, because then it won't rain for a year and a half, so it's rained for a day and Jimmy's already complaining about it. My socks are soaked. Fucking amazing. I love it. I hope it rains for the next month because then it won't rain for a year and a half, so it's fine.

We're heading all the way to, we were in New Hampshire last week. Yeah. Let's go back to the Midwest this week. Oh. We're going right smack dead square in the middle of a square, of a dead square.

All right. We're going to Kansas. Oh, Jesus. Oh, exciting. Sweet fuck. Oh, Kansas. We're going to Hutchinson, Kansas Jesus. Oh, exciting. Sweet fuck. Oh, Kansas. We're going to Hutchinson, Kansas. One of your favorite places, I know.

It's a destination. Jimmy's dream is to have a summer home there. That's what he's looking to do. And a wedding. Someday. Fingers crossed. He can have a June Hutchinson wedding. Where the fuck is that?

It's in Kansas, Jimmy. That's all you need to know. It doesn't matter. And then she's going to move out to the prairie. Wander around, you'll find it. It's on the edge of the Dust Bowl. Put it that way. Not quite the Dust Bowl area, but on the edge of the Dust Bowl.

Northeast? No, it's in central Kansas. Oh, good lord. It was dusty during the Dust Bowl here. They could smell it. It is dead fucking central. It's a little south in the state, but i mean as dead central as can be uh it's all square there yeah state's square the counties are square square square and square just

the people are square yeah it is a square joint in kansas it's about two hours and 45 minutes to topeka okay if you want to really get down and party in topeka right we all know topeka's there's certain places you hear people go to have a good time. You know what I mean? They go to Rio. Yeah. They go to Bourbon Street. You know what I mean?

They go to Topeka. Places like that. They just get down. It's known worldwide. Yeah. People come all the time. Europeans. That's mainly a European destination.

It's a Midwest Riviera. I don't know if you've heard of it. That's what it is. It really is because they come there. It's known for the spas the loose women obviously it's crazy destinations that dot the sides of the of the the yachts jimmy the yachts in topeka it's you know how it is there the land yachts it's a lifestyle it's it's extravagant i'm not gonna lie it's it's a little much for me personally it's not i'm not that kind of person but this is like it's a's extravagant i'm not gonna lie it's it's a little much for me personally it's not i'm not

that kind of person but this is like it's a bellagio type experience if the bellagio was a whole city right if the las vegas bellagio was an entire city that would be topeka fountains and sparkly things yeah uh prostitutes people are square oh the people their shirts have squares everything's square yeah their heads are square it'd people their shirts have squares everything's square their heads are square it'd be a flat top make my head square fucking tablecloth that's fucking red and white it's all square yeah we need nice clean corner 90 degrees sonny every pattern i want squares 90 degree no none of these are cute or none of this stuff i need a 90 degree angle.

Damn it on everything. God damn. Triangles come along and that's how Satan gets into everything. That's how it works. And the Lord isn't with you once there's triangles. 45 degrees. Oh, Jesus. Three hours and 15 minutes to Oklahoma City.

Oh, Jesus. Yes. Oklahoma City. Wow. Three hours and 10 minutes to Oskaloosa. Yeah. Which is episode 95, which is our last Kansas episode. Three hours away.

It's about three hours away. That was like up in the northeast. Yeah. Up there. This is in the center. This is in Reno County. Oh, boy. That sounds classy.

Yeah, it does. Reno County. They gave it a whole county. The city was so nice. Let's give it to Hull County. You name anything Reno, I want no party to you. Even though this was first, it still doesn't matter. Of course it was.

You change your name once Reno's Reno. It's zip code 67501, area code 620. It's about almost 23 square miles. It's big. It's a big area. The motto of this place is, quote, the Salt City. Salt. Isn't that Salt Lake City?

No, this is the Salt City. There's no lake, but there's a shitload of salt. They just forgot the lake part. We got salt dry as fuck. All of the salt is out of the lake. That's not a glowing advertisement. No, well, neither is their other motto. Quote, the middle of the middle of a square.

So that's confusing, and it sounds boring, but they're trying. They're like, it's the middle of the middle of a square. You think about it, if you saw the map. Get over here and eat at our diners and try it. Come on, check out our tablecloths. It matches my shirt. I can't believe how much square it is. Oh, check out our tablecloths. It matches my shirt. Come on, sit down. I can't believe how much square that is.

Oh, it's so square. You're going to hate squares. History of this town. It was founded in 1871 when an Indian agent named Clinton C.C. Hutchinson, he contracted with the Santa Fe Railroad to make a town at the railroads crossing over the Arkansas River. with the santa fe railroad to make a town at the railroads crossing over the arkansas river so this yeah the close is founded by a guy who made a deal with the with a railroad to make a town so there was a reason to have a railroad go through it basically so this town it's kind of started for

kind of false reasons it wasn't started this is a good place for to settle it was like the railroad wants to be here so i'll build some shit clinton cc hutchinson hudson oh yeah cc hutchinson i'm sure his middle name was something with a c oh god i was like that's three c's yeah i'm sure it was that's why cc was his nickname what everybody called him and now uh a little north of the tracks there on the banks of the cow creek yeah uh was where the town popped in there was already a couple of houses there, but there was no town per se or anything going on there. Hutchinson founded the Reno County Bank and erected the state's first water mill. So, yeah, it's exciting stuff here.

Now, the community earned, to Jesus Christ, man, the nickname of the city was Temperance City because of the prohibition of alcohol set by hutchinson the founder oh he was the first one no no but in this city he showed up and right away it was yeah i'm starting this town no alcohol it's a dry town why the fuck did anybody come here that's what i mean temperance it's the 1800s and have you ever seen kansas yeah look at watch ken burns dust bowl it's on like amazon Prime and shit when you watch it. They show the sunset and it's beautiful.

It is a flat plane. You will lose your fucking mind just looking out of the... That open space makes me feel so claustrophobic I can't take it anymore. The reason there's no professional baseball or anything there. Oh, it's just so much. Professional any sport. There's no cities. That's the problem.

Topeka is the fucking... We've flown over it and I down and uh saw wichita you know you see squares yeah when you look down big squares little squares squares squares squares wichita was tiny it's all tiny there's nothing going on in these places so imagine going there and there's no booze you're just sitting there yeah in the quiet no No TV. It'll feel lost. I'm going to put some music on my phone. None of that shit. Just staring at the great expanses forever.

Hoping it'll rain. That's what you're doing. And hoping that rain has booze in it. It's a tornado that sucked up booze from Arkansas and is going to dump it on us. No shit. It was incorporated in 1872. I don't know what this means but as a third class city which is fucking great it still is it's just like you know what take a thousand i won't even find out what that means i could have easily looked that up but i'm like i like that it's a third class city we're gonna leave it at that

you're not even second not even second class i'm a second class isn't actually third sir you're boarding you're actually behind the second the second class is here those people they're wretched and they have like body lice and shit but there's another section that it's actually under them it's just you just some stairs you're the one with the body sores yeah that's you that's why you're they're running and contagious so it's worse than the lice we can dip him he'll be fine call that weeping yeah you should be gross that's the most disgusting term ever for a wound yeah that's not good seeping well i think it's weeping i think it's seeping is an incision yeah fluid drains out so in 1887 the chicago kansas and nebraska railway built a main line from harrington through hutchinson so that's very fucking exciting they extended it later on and went all the way to new mexico and texas and all that shit

in 1887 though this is when the excitement started there's nothing going on here you're just staring at the staring at the expanses like i said in 1887, though, this is when the excitement started. There's nothing going on here. You're just staring at the expanses, like I said. In 1887, they found salt deposits. Oh, there's salt! Oh, everyone come from far and wide. The salt is here. It's because everybody's sweaty. That's all it is.

I got salt deposits on my forehead. And my shirt, all over. They were discovered there when a guy named blend ben blanchard who was a land speculator he founded south hutchinson he was drilling for oil that was the thing and he hit salt i bet there's oil here if you go down south some they got a bunch of oil so i'm sure it's under here too and then he was digging and instead of black he found white shit. And it's salt. And he's like, well, we got shit to feed the deer. Yeah, he went, shit. If you're digging for oil and you hit salt, you're like, fuck me.

Couldn't it have just been gold? God damn it. Isn't Kansas known for silver? Where the fuck's the silver? People are like it's salt's still good it's not oil right what i was looking for here so uh yeah it was salt then salt mining became the major industry here because they had nothing else it was they nicknamed it the salt city and just went with it fuck it let's do that now hutchinson is the home of the kansas

state fair okay also they've been having it there since 1873, which is basically like when the town started. And it was always the Hutchinson Fair, but it became the Kansas State Fair, even though it wasn't an official state fair yet. They just called it that because it was the big fair in the state for some reason here. And then they got the fairgrounds and it became the kansas state fair officially in 1943 they sent german and italian prisoners of war from world war ii to kansas to be used to as forced labor to work in the salt mine to work in the yeah because it was a labor shortage obviously our guys were over fighting them so we caught them and brought them back here which seems really counterproductive so we're going to take our guys and send them there and tend to take those guys we caught and

send them here to work because our guys are there so they can't work here how about we leave them but then we had to be there it's very confusing it's a big circle right it's it's very tough so uh yeah they that was prisoner of war camps were established there camp concordia camp funston and camp phillips and uh there were prisoner of war camps where they use german and italian war labor uh to dig up salt and shit like that so that's i don't know that's a tough job to get cut doing you know what i mean they need it's all burning oh my god it's also it's all salt for the love of god it's everywhere you're getting cut that shit's sharp it's everywhere it. For the love of God, it's everywhere. And you know you're getting cut. That shit's sharp. It's everywhere.

It's in the air. I doubt they gave him really good gloves and nice safety equipment. Dig your guinea hands in the fucking dirt. Dig your crap guinea hands in the fucking earth and bring the salt up. That's what we need you to do. Work harder. Make them calloused. Maybe I have the shovel.

No, Luigi. You don't have a fucking shovel. We ain't got shit for you. Dig your fucking spaghetti hands in there. Pull out salt. Yeah, take the cavatelli you got in your pocket and fucking use it to dig into the earth. We got diners all around America whose tables are empty. They're empty.

Put the salt on the table we need it in january 2001 143 million cubic feet of compressed natural gas leaked from a storage field a gas storage oh my god like a how much 143 million cubic that is so much gas that sounds like a shitload of gas i don't know if once it disperses, it sounds like a lot, though. But it doesn't go up, James. That shit's heavy. It stays below. Well, it sank underground, then rose to the surface through old brine and salt wells,

making around 15 gas blowholes, basically. Oh, my God. So there was just gas shooting out of the ground. Shit on fire. So this is just hell on earth now. Now it's a flat, alcohol-less, fucking depressing shithole full of salt

where fire is shooting from the earth like it's the princess bride and the rodents of unusual size are going to attack you if you don't get burned

by the fucking ground things. What is happening? Why do you live here? Does it make a clicking noise before it goes off? I don't think so. I don't think. No, I don't think.

No. No. I don't think it does. This just fucking. It just goes. And that's terrifying because you have no idea where that settles. You can't see it. When fire shoots from the earth.

The fuck out of there. It means that you don't live there anymore. That's the earth is telling you no more. Go door to door and say, listen, we fucked up. I don't live there anymore that's the earth is telling you no more go door to door yeah listen we fucked up i don't care we got gas loose i'm not a religious man but whoever's in charge of whatever the fuck is some someone's trying to tell you something fire is shooting from the earth get the fuck out of there so and listen we ruined this town it's time to leave what do you mean i just bought this no No, no, no, no.

Believe me, it's going to be insane. An explosion. This caused an explosion in the downtown area at 1045 a.m., destroying two businesses and damaging a bunch of others. And then an explosion the next day in a mobile home park. Yeah. Killed two people. I just see trailers flying into the air like they're made of paper. Those are built to burn.

Oh, yeah. This was an explosion. So it killed a couple of people there. trailers flying into the air like they're you know made of paper those are built to burn oh yeah they will this was an explosion so it killed a couple of people there the kansas national guard had to be called in to evacuate the city because of the gas leaks what year was this this is 2001 get the this isn't 1955 yeah i was seeing this is no no no this is 2001 i saw like dodge city people are on the internet yeah they're like i fix this gas leak so i can check my email I was seeing. This is. No, no, no. This is 2001. I saw like Dodge City. Why it hurt. People are on the Internet. Yeah. They're like, I fix this gas leak so I can check my email.

That's what they're doing right now. This when I hear this, I picture like an 80s disaster movie, like a horror movie. There's like people in masks that are evil government. Horses, James. Maybe even crazy. Maybe even. But I mean, 80s, about the 50s or something like this isn't. This is super weird.

So, yeah, the team of specialists they brought in to look over the city for more leaks. And it was it was a big deal, obviously, nationally. Kansas is exploding from the ground. People were interested in that. Wow. And people were interested in that. Wow. In January and June of 2013, they're trying to promote a comic book convention there at the Kansas State Fair. And they want to have Smallville Con.

Okay. So the mayor changed for a day. The name of the town was changed to Smallville. That was Superman's town in kansas so he's from here everybody for a day come here and now they have the convention there now i have some interesting things that's the show about him growing up i think so that dean kane show yeah no it's it's after that oh yeah that was the superman in the 90s who fucking cares anyway i have some one star reviews that are wonderful that we have to read here do

you say plural reviews oh boy many and they're they're all hilarious so buckle up here okay i gotta get through these quote here's one uh quote it's a sewer pond full of corrupt cops and city officials and every year there's a new city tax for something so they can extort me for more money from the residents that's somebody that's broken is tired if you were a business looking to relocate there you better look at the cost of doing business because it's way cheaper in other cities with better road access that is very specific the meth problem is out of hand and there isn't anyone to hire that can pass a piss test the city manager is a buffoon and thank god he's retiring but not before destroying the economy of hutch steer clear of

this dump drug infested sewer pond that ran a great target store out of town he was the manager of target yeah and they fucking closed down or at least was the popcorn maker they're very specific beefs these all are uh okay quote hutchinson is full of hateful drug infested people they they deliberately drive slow and they play the speed-up game just to piss you off. Someone did this in traffic. They are thieves and will lie right to your face.

There's only one major store. That was probably the Target that's now ran out of town. And a hospital that has a mortality rate through the roof. Jesus. Not to mention the sonic booms from all the mining underground. this whole town is going to sink

this is a nightmare this place okay quote here's another one hatchinson kansas is a sewer that's that's two that's a that's a headline right there that's number two going with sewer though the town is rude the people are thieves and the criminal element rules drug dealers theft murder and other crimes are the norm way to jesus way too many local government employees state and county if you don't work for the government you don't you don't work and in turn are on welfare the jail is always full dead beats roam the streets no businesses can survive unless you accept food stamps as currency the people are scavengers so desperate for a dime they will stab their own mother in the back the medical system sucks the police tribe but can't keep up on every corner is a fireman standing there with their thumbs up their ass unbelievable

is this haiti this is so specific right is this a fucking a caribbean port town this sounds like pirates this sounds like somewhere where like an af an African village where a warlord rules and keeps all the aid on his tank. And if you give birth to a child, he steals her. He cooks it. Marries her if it's a girl. Steals the girl, marries her, and eats your boys. Cooks the boys. Police have nothing to do.

They just drive slow to be in your way. See? That's the driving. If you're selling something cheap, expect the area population to want it even cheaper the entire state of kansas is a deadbeat hellhole see these are wonderful i have only here's another one i've only been in hutch for about two months and it's terrible at least i had a good laugh reading through all the comments obviously there's a major meth issue especially in south hutch area not much to do here and especially not a place to raise kids all caps some of the people here are super friendly

but they are not from here mostly i think it has a horrible vibe for the most part and not much to do here unless you like shopping at dylan's i don't know what that is uh it is cool that there are amish who have a store with a decent selection of healthy foods off main street and of course some other shit is great but nothing else it's depressing and slowly sucking away my soul moving to wichita love dennis raider it's wow he's moving to topeka to party and here's the final one quote hutch is lacking quite a quite a bit of things yeah end of story all that's it it's lacking uh we got some work to do you know population here it's a little higher than we normally do but fuck it 41,316 this is a small

town i don't care right it's in the middle of kansas how many people 41,000 that's oh my god that's still a very small town yeah for that many people that's the opportunity for it to be booming and doing great and every single person has the same review. Sewer, thieves, no cops, meth, hospital, you'll fucking die. Shitty driving. If you're not killed on the road by a slow driver in front of you. So, I don't get it. This place is amazing.

It's a mess. More males than females. Median age is 39. It's a couple years older than normal. Married is about normal 49 it's normally 50 50 divorce rate is high though 15 it's a hellhole yeah how do you stay married you must be miserable in all in all aspects uh single with no children though is lower so they'll get divorced but i don't know if they have kids or i don't know what's going on here

uh race of this town 80 white which is higher than normal it's about 61 and a half normal four percent black so some black people here uh 11.9 percent hispanic so it's a little bit low but you know it's mostly white but they have a little bit of a mixture here not what not even one percent asian wow so that's not a lot there uh religious it's usually 50 50 here it's about 53 percent and it's spread around pretty evenly too there's a lot there. Religious, it's usually 50-50 here. It's about 53%. And it's spread around pretty evenly, too. There's a lot of other Christian. There's a few Catholics, Lutheran, Methodist.

It's the middle. It's the middle, so you're not going to get a lot. 0.0% Jewish, though. That's not happening. That's one thing you won't get. One thing you're not getting there. 0.0% Islam. It's pretty conservative here.

28% voted Democrat in the last presidential election. This is in the county. It's a rural county. Sixty three percent Republican, nine percent independent. That seems high. That's a lot. It's very high. It's high. One of the highest we've ever seen, actually. Unemployment rate here is about normal. It's a little under four percent. But I mean, that's low anyway. But compared to the rest of the country, it's a tiny drop high. I mean, that's low anyway, but compared to the rest of the country, it's a tiny drop high. Median household income, though, it's normally about $57,000. Here it is $45,000, so it's a little low for that. 30% of the people here make under $30,000 a year.

So it's kind of a lower income place in general. There's some more manufacturing jobs than normal, things like that. But otherwise, there's not even a lot of mining jobs here. It's less than half a percent is mining jobs. So it's the jobs are kind of normal. Cost of living 100 being average regular par cost of living here is 74. And that is low because of the lowest thing here is housing. Housing is a 41 median home cost here. Ninety four thousand one hundred dollars. Holy shit. thing here is housing. Housing's a 41. Median home cost here, $94,100.

Holy shit. So it is cheap. I mean, it's on fire. The ground is shooting flames. Without warning. While sonic booms and explosions happen. While a cop is driving slow in front of you and a meth head is trying to knock on your window. And sewage runs down the street.

And the Target is closing as you're trying to pull in to buy something it's it's not great things are bad here and don't get injured by any of it because you'll fucking die you'll die you go in for stitches you're gonna die uh sorry it's just gonna happen uh 50 of the houses are between 80 and 200 000 so it's a you know and there's a lot less than that too we're talking're talking over 30% of the houses are worth under $80,000. Oh, my God. So we're talking... Investment opportunity. Oh, yeah. Boy, oh, boy.

This place is clearly just on the cusp of something big. And if we've convinced you... Just needs a target. You know what? If we've convinced you, we have some options for you with the Hutchinson, Kansas Real Estate Report. the Hutchinson, Kansas Real Estate Report. Your average two-bedroom rental here is about $729,

which is kind of in line with its cost of living about. I have found a three-bedroom, one-bath, 1,340-square-foot house. It's cute. It's cute. I don't usually say cute. It's a cute little house. It's quaint. It's cute. It's cute. I don't usually say cute. It's a cute little house. It's quaint.

It's quaint. Very nice. Modest? It's modest. Everything in Kansas is modest. Let's be honest here. Kansas, we're modest and square. Two things that are there.

Kansas period, modest period. Square, exclamation point. With a square bottom on it. Not as squared. Squared. $68,500. So cheap. I found a three-bedroom, three-bath, 2,660 square foot. This is a nice house.

It's really nice, spacious, $124,500. Wow. Real nice. And then I found, you want to spread out a little bit here, you're running the local quarry or whatever. Four bedroom, three bath, 3,374 square feet. Really nice, too. I mean, from the outside, it looks like stately.

It looks like a governor's mansion. Beautiful. $205,000. Wow. Ridiculous. Target manager. Jesus. I'm telling you, you can buy a real nice house for cheap.

The problem is you'd have to live here. Right. That's the issue. You've still got to be in Kansas. Yeah you you can buy a real nice house for cheap the problem is you'd have to live here right that's the issue still gotta be in kansas yeah you can't move it now things to do gas explosion insurance it's gonna happen things to do uh leave kansas no that's not the thing that's what you should be doing that's subliminal get the shit what are you doing things to do flame proof your house wait Hope the tornado takes me to an alternate universe where I can have a concussion and dream about my farm hands. Because that's better than what's happening. Hope the tornado lands me, at least in civilization, that is not this. Alternate reality.

Frog all that. Just across state lines. Get me out of here. Except not south or north or east or west, because those are all terrible states. We've got to keep going. Well, if we can get me to Denver. So, things to do. We have the Kansas State Fair, which is a big deal.

Who knows? We'll eat some fried shit with sugar all over it, I guess. Forget it for a minute. There's also the Strataka. Okay? I'm listening. That is a salt mine museum. Yeah, the salt mine museum there.

It used to be known as. They changed the name because it's this Strataka. That sounds like, what is that? Like a European restaurant? It was like a tapas place or something. No, it was known as Kansas Underground Salt Museum, which didn't sound that attractive. So they changed it to Strataka? Strataka.

Strataka. Strataka. I don't know. They tried to make it sound like people go, what's that? And then they want to be curious. They know exactly what Kansas Underground Salt Museum is. And all of those words. Museum can be good if it's something fun.

But Kansas Underground and salt all sound like shit. And Strataka, that's not even like shit. That's not even an acronym. That's just a word that they found. They made it up. It's built within one of the world's largest rock salt deposits and provides the opportunity to go 650 feet beneath the Earth's surface for some reason. If you want to be a mole person. It's a destination attraction, they say, for some reason if you want to be a mole person yeah it's it's it's an attraction destination

attraction they say for an exploring an environment carved from salt deposits formed 275 million years ago pictures of it would be cool i don't want to go down there wait till we convince uh housewives that this shit heals has healing properties when you put a light bulb in it get it they'll be all down there dangling from fucking they're're everywhere. I bet you're dangling from a cord going, I need another hour down here. There's 14 other salt mines in the United States. There's only 15 salt mines in the U.S. Salt seems very plentiful, though. Is that right?

I don't fucking know. That's what I have. In the U.S.? In the U.S. But what about the world? None of that. I'm sure there's plenty of salt. All of these salt mines, and we don't know how many are in the world, but of the 15,

this is the only one that's accessible to tourists. Oh. You know, because no one else would think to say anyone wants to see this shit. Do you know why? Because there's other shit to do where the other ones are at. The Dark Ride is a tram tour that takes visitors through a maze of chambers beyond the museum area to see various features of the mine and takes you. It's a tour of fright, basically.

It's dark, though. It sounds like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Right. It comes with an Asian boy with a Mets hat. But you can't see him. And you can't see him. Because it's dark. Pitch black down there.

And the tour includes a stop at a salt pile for a souvenir where you can fill a sample bag with salt crystals. Just reach right in there. There you go, fuckhead you can fill a sample bag with salt crystals. Just reach right in there. There you go, fuckhead. Get out of here with your salt crystals. Crime rate. That's gross. That sounds terrible.

I'm sorry. That sounds terrible. I don't want to do that. And the reward at the end is you get to dig your hand into a pile. And walk away with a bag of salt you can take home. Christ only knows who dug their hand in there. Jesus Christ. I'm not using that salt.

Crime rate in this town. Property crime is almost double the national average. So they're not lying about the methiness it sounds like. Violent crime, murder, rape, robbery, and of course assault. Don't forget that. Is about one third above the national average as well. It's dangerous. Yeah.

The Mount Rushmore of crime. It's dangerous here. They will cut you and take your shit yeah so that's how it works here and uh i think it's time to talk about a murder okay let's talk about a murder stretch the murder legs out here in may of 1980 near anaheim california dorothy jane scott noticed her friend had an inflamed red wound on his arm and seemed unwell. She insisted on driving him to the local hospital to get treatment. While he waited for his prescription, Dorothy went to grab her car to pick him up at the exit, but would never be seen alive again, leaving us to wonder,

decades later, what really happened to Dorothy Jane Scott? From Wondery, Generation Y is a podcast that covers notable true crime cases like this one and many more. Every week, hosts Aaron and Justin sit down to discuss a new case, covering every angle and theory, walking through the forensic evidence and interviewing those close to the case to try to discover what happened. And with over 450 episodes, there's a case for every true crime listener. Follow the Generation Y podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Generation Y ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. It's all a lighthearted nightmare on our podcast, Morbid.

We're your hosts. I'm Alina Urquhart. And I'm Ash Kelly. And our show is part true crime, part spooky, and part comedy. The stories we cover are well-researched. He claimed and confessed to officially killing up to 28 people. With a touch of humor. I'd just like to go ahead and say that if there's no band called Malevolent Deity, that is pretty great.

A dash of sarcasm and just garnished a bit with a little bit of cursing. This mother****er lied. Like a liar. Like a liar. Like a liar. And if you're a weirdo like us and love to cozy up to a creepy tale of the paranormal, or you love to hop in the Wayback Machine and dissect the details of some of history's most notorious crimes,

you should tune in to our podcast, Morbid. Follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to episodes early and ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Welcome to the small town of Chinook, where faith runs deep and secrets run deeper.

In this new thriller, available exclusively on Wondery Plus, religion and crime collide when a gruesome murder rocks the isolated Montana community. Everyone is quick to point their fingers at a drug-addicted teenager, but local deputy Ruth Vogel isn't convinced. She suspects connections

to a powerful religious group. Enter federal agent V.B. Loro, who has been investigating a local church for possible criminal activity. The pair form an unlikely partnership to catch the killer, unearthing secrets that leave Ruth torn between her duty to the law, her religious convictions, and her very own family. But something more sinister than murder is afoot, and someone is watching Ruth. With an all-star cast led by Emmy nominee Sanaa Lathan

and Star Wars Kelly Marie Tran, Chinook is available exclusively and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. We're going to go back a little bit in time, which Kansas really always seems like you're back in time, I feel like. You could go there now and you'd be like, 1983? No.

2000. Wow. It feels about right. It doesn't feel right here. Is that a members-only jacket? This is weird. Feels about 87. This is 87, yeah.

But we're going to go back even further. We're going back to 1978, so time machine time here. We're spinning and clouds and lightning and everything. Pre-Eddie Money. Oh, this is, well, I'm sure Eddie Money was around.

Was he around in 79? He had to be around, yeah. 79 or 77? 78. 78? Yeah. Neither of them. He was around.

Neither, yeah. You picked the two around the one I said. You said it three seconds ago. June 16th, 1978. Got it. To be wrong. Neither, yeah. You picked the two around. You just said it three seconds ago. June 16th, 1978. Got it. To be exact. Let's go. So it's an early summer in Kansas.

Okay. It's not going to rain. No. So don't even ask for it. No. Enjoy your wheat crops, everybody. So June 16th, 1978. Let's talk about a couple of people.

First, a guy named Philip Parks. He's about 27 years old at this point, and he's got a wife. He is married. This is his first time being married. He's married to a young lady named Rachel. He and Rachel live together in Hutchinson. They have two children. So, you know, this is your Midwestern.

They're dodging explosions and fire shooting from the ground. And, you know, it is your Midwestern. They're dodging explosions and fire shooting from the ground. And, you know, it's like in Kansas with two kids. You let them outside because it's safe because no one will kill them probably in the 70s. But on the other hand, there is explosions and gas and, you know, salt mines to fall into. It's like the great outdoors. This whole town is so dangerous and terrifying. It's an old mic of mine. The kids yell down into the halls and go out there on the weekends. it's like the great outdoors this whole town is so dangerous it's an old mic of mine the kids

yell down into the halls and go out there on the weekend i'm not gonna tell you what the teenagers do down there we know we we know what they're doing we know what they're doing and so you can tell by the condoms all over the floor and that's still less gross than them sitting on that old dead man's lap you ever have like anywhere when i was a kid there was a bomb shelter yeah like an old 50s you know fallout shelter that was like in on this hill in the woods and like it had a door it was like a big it was in the it was in the ground and it was a there was a fucking door on the side of a hill and you'd go in there and it was this bomb shelter it was this thing and it was just broken liquor bottles

and fucking used condoms everywhere that's all at least there's condoms oh we found god for that when i was like 11 we found that thing and i was like oh my god this is the most disgusting place ever this is disgusting people are fucking in here what's self-respecting girl is saying? Oh, stop right there. Fuck me on the broken beer bottles amongst the other used condoms. No, no. Shove aside the other used condoms and lay me down. You big stallion. You who the fuck is saying that? That was happening.

It was bend me over that rock over. I don't feel like any of that was consensual is what I'm getting at. I feel like no woman was like, yeah, this will work. This is a good place to fuck. No. Oh, you sweetheart. This is so romantically secluded. This is I gave her some shit in her drink and then she passed out in the bomb shelter

and then I humped her and threw the fucking condom. This is disgusting. The worst. You, Romeo, this is secluded was said less than, oh my God, nobody's going to hear my screams. No one ever said, that's so romantic. I don't think that was ever said once. It was probably more, I wish this was more romantic. Yeah, this is, do you smell old jizz and stale beer?

Is this a bleach factory? This is disgusting. Are we in the bleachery again? Is this the bleach factory? This is disgusting. Are we in the bleachery again? Is this the bleach factory? Nice call back there. Thank you very much. That's my favorite thing you ever said.

Because it was wild. It was a burning bleach factory. It probably was. That's next to pulled pork pussy is one of the worst things I've ever said. Now, June 16th, 1978. These two are married.

It's a normal Kansas morning morning yeah like i said explosions are happening rodents of unusual size are all over the place and a woman named mary jackson lives next door to this couple to philip and rachel and she got up at about 6 a.m i don't know why she's got shit to do i guess yeah and she's dicking around in the kitchen doing her morning shit making coffee you know i don't dicking around in the kitchen, doing her morning shit, making coffee. You know, I don't know, walking around in a house robe. I feel like a house coat. Cleaning the Tupperware house.

Cleaning the Tupperware. Why is the Tupperware? Because it's 78. Nothing else is dirty, but the Tupperware. Yeah. Just the Tupperware. She's pouring out the shit that went bad in the Tupperware. We're going all Tupperware.

All of her dishes have been thrown out. That's why she's doing Tupperware, because they don't own anything else but Tupperware. It's all Tupperware. Why were those tops wrinkled like that? Do you know what I mean? Oh, I don't understand. That was for grip. That was them, right?

That was a thing of theirs, right? Grip? I think it was the underside of them were all wrinkled. The top. The fucking lid that you snapped on was all fucking Ripley. But that was the underside. No, it was the top and the bottom. The top was the smooth part.

Was it? They might have had ones like that, but the bottom ones, I always thought that was too... I don't understand why it was like that. But that was the underside. No, it was the top and the bottom. The top was the smooth part. Was it? They might have had ones like that, but the bottom ones, I always thought that was too... I don't understand why it was like that. I don't know either. I don't know. It was Tupperware's thing. I don't know Tupperware science. I'm not sure about that, but I'm sure what the advantage technically of it would be,

but I feel like... We only had hand-me-down Tupperware, where my mom's friend had a Tupperware party and got a whole bunch of new shit and was like, you can have this. Remember, and there was like the stain of Tupperware. You get that, and somebody put spaghetti in it one time, and it's just stained fucking red and pink on the side forever. Put it in those shitty old microwaves, and now it's rippled just around where the top of the food was.

It doesn't seal now either. Yeah, rippled in there. The sauce is fucking- The seal is bad. Yeah. It's bad stuff now either. Yeah, it rippled in there. The sauce is fucking... The seal is bad. Yeah. It's bad stuff. Food goes bad in like three hours in those now. Yeah, they used to last like one...

It's a one-time use thing at Tupperware, but they would sell it. Oh boy, did they. They used to have part. Now they just sell each other dildos as we talked about last week. Tell you what, you sell us a shitload of dildos,

we'll all go to Walmart and get a 100-piece Rubbermaid storage thing for seven bucks. It's better than a 107-piece dildo set as our guy had last week. For $10,000. It's funny that he said 100 and then $7, and I'm like, I was going to say 107 dildos.

I don't know how I did that. But yeah, last week, if you hadn't heard, a man had 107 dildos in his possession, so you need to that. Last week, if you hadn't heard, a man had 107 dildos in his possession, so you need to hear about that. Somebody at a sex store sent me a picture of 135 of them on a wall, and I was horrified at how many that really is.

Holy shit, that's so many. By the way, people were saying, hey, we should send, don't send us dildos. Don't you dare. We don't want any dildos and then we get them in we can have sarah open up a bunch of dildos that's not nice she doesn't want to see your dildos keep your dildos we appreciate the sense of that's that you want to joke around and send us dildos but send dildos to someone who needs it you know there's has to be like a like a needy

person dildo center that you go like Like one of those Salvation Army boxes where they have clothes. You know, something like that. In a parking lot, those ones? Yeah, you just need it. Just go buy one and throw it in that shit. Throw it in there. That's what I'm saying. There has to be...

Okay. You know the one that says used books? Yeah. Throw one in there. Throw a dildo in there. Still in the package. Don't be disgusting. Yeah, yeah.

Brand new. Brand new. Mongrels. Yeah, don't be an animal. Right. But put it in there just because someone the package. Don't be disgusting. Brand new. Brand new. Mongrels. Don't be an animal, but put it in there just because someone will be excited about it. If you think about it, needy people, they don't just need... Everybody obviously needs food and clothes and shelter, but

you have other needs that you want too. You want candy or you want this or you want that. You probably want a dildo once in a while. We've overlooked this. You know there's going to be a collection center that takes all that in. There's a guy there that goes, oh, gross. I'll get rid of this.

And he goes and puts it in his locker. And he's got a giant closet. He's got 107 of them, and then he's on our show. So if you're going to buy dildos, don't give them to us. No, I don't want to. Donate them. Donate dildos, because I want to see what people will do if you donate dildos to a donation center i want to see the look on people's faces i want to see the tweets right like let's

create a twitter at with with an at so that when we donate it right if you've received this uh let us know at uh find a dildo.com find a dildo at find a dildo on twitter somebody create you know someone's already got that i'm sure donate a dildo this is great so mary jackson is cleaning her dildos and tupperware yeah at 6 a.m uh poor woman she's got so many to clean this is rough man i'd say that's a pretty good life yeah uh she observes philip leaving in his pickup truck uh which is normal in the morning. He goes to work. And so there's Philip leaving in the pickup truck. Nosy fucking people always looking at. You know when my neighbors go to work?

No. Neither do I. Because I've never fucking paid attention because I don't fucking care. It doesn't affect me at all. I know when one comes home from work. I don't look out the window. Oh, look at that. Yeah.

The one next door. Because we see him. We're out there. He comes home around when you come over to do the show how's it going other than that guys how are you what are you doing can we hang out inside the house i don't give a shit who's coming who's going if you're not on my in my yard i don't care what you're doing basically so this lady observes him uh then a little while later uh morning, she sees something weird. She sees her neighbor's garage.

Again, don't look closely at your neighbor's garage. Half of small town murder could be solved with mind your own fucking business. And half of these people's I had to find my neighbor dead or I had to find my friend dead. Mind your own fucking business. And you wouldn't have found anybody dead. mind your own fucking business and you wouldn't have found anybody dead so she observes water coming from the garage like water leaking out from under the garage door of philip and rachel's home better let them know they're hot water heaters bro that's exactly it right there that's what i would think immediately if i see water i'm like you guys are gonna have a cold fucking shower

yeah oh that sucks no i hope they don't have any family heirlooms in the garage or pictures in the boxes. That happened to my mom, actually. Their hot water heater exploded and all of her pictures and all of the shit they had in boxes because they had just moved into that house and that was stuff you don't really unpack because they were looking for a house

and renting this one and temporary all got soaked and destroyed. Everything's fucking destroyed. It's over. Yeah, destroyed. Everything, all like you know kid pictures all that shit all gone little james i don't exist anymore erased non-existent little james never happened i came out look just like this yeah i was six four and pissy yelling about dildos so she doesn't think anyone's home because they leave in the day so she's like fuck there's their hot water heater broke so she feels responsible to do something no here again

no it sucks yeah drive pull away i i don't know not my right i don't expect you thing is if there's water leaking out of my garage i don't expect my neighbors to fucking do anything either right i it's not like oh but i want them to help me no we all live on separate planets yeah honestly unless my house is on if you see flames shooting from the top of it call the fire department other than that mind your own fucking business don't come breaking windows out either i don't need extra damage 9-1-1 think my neighbor's house is on fire here's the address hang up it's all i need you to do don't come over don't check on anybody i got this it's fine so anyway she goes a step beyond i'd have knocked on the door yeah no one answers that's their fucking problem she calls philip's father what gets a hold of this guy's father which by the way if you know if you know your neighbor's father enough to call him

yeah it's too small of a town too close already too close already right there uh so the father comes over this is philip's father and he uh he go he gets into the garage nothing there the hot water heater's fine oh it's there's no water there's no anything there's water's gone it's no no there's water coming but it's not coming from where's it coming from in the house it's not coming from the garage it's coming from in the house oh shit so it's from the garage door yeah from inside the house shit so because i think it was a step down and it went that's a lot more water it's a lot of water so he's like okay this is weird so he's gonna follow the water obviously so i mean i don't know if he thinks pipes exploded or why i don't know how would that call i don't know anything about

plumbing but i would assume like it's possible if a pipe exploded in your kitchen, it would probably flood your house, I would think, if the water was flowing. But generally, I mean... Is there no breaker, like in electricity? There is, but it's out by the hose bib. That's where the shutoff is. It's not an automatic. No, no, no, no. If there's a surge, your breaker shuts off, so your house doesn't burst into flames.

The water department loves that, because they're like, oh, we get to bill you for that shit. You cocksuckers. That's right, because I had that broken shit in my old house and I got like a $700 water bill. I'm like, what the fuck? They love it.

I don't even have a pool. I had like a tree. I was like, no, I watered my plants twice. I don't have a $700 water bill. They love that. It was just me and Sarah showering. There's no way we have a 700 water

just going right back to the water table they can't wait yeah bastard prick son of a bitches so this uh he follows the water in into the kitchen yeah it's all still running it's just there's water all over the floor it's running it's just you know a lot of water and he hears water running and he can't tell is this a pipe the wall. So he's looking behind the sink in the kitchen. Nothing. Goes in a little bit further. Finally, in the bathroom, he finds the bathtub with water running, overflowing. A lot.

And, yeah, the water's just flowing out of the bathtub enough to flood the whole house, basically. That's terrifying. Water's on full blast. Well, what's worse is his daughter--in-law rachel is in the bathtub dead oh no that's even more terrifying yeah yeah that's not what you want that's a bad fine that's a bad fine yeah i'd rather find a busted pipe or a dildo or a dildo you see her and you're like i hope she's got a dildo fuck no she's dead shit i hope she just, I was hoping she zoned out in ecstasy. Yeah, I just couldn't take it and just like, you know, was comatose for like 15 minutes. The most powerful orgasm in history.

In the water, she forgot to turn the water off. I got to shake her. Rachel, Rachel. She pops up. Oh, God. Oh, it throws her dildo to the side. I'm sorry. Oh, Jesus.

How'd you get? Oh, no. No, nothing like that it's uh she's actually deceased in here this poor woman uh uh which like i said not good she's in her late 20s this woman oh no this is not normal this isn't like a 75 year old woman at a heart attack or 90 year old woman this is a a young lady in a bathtub this is this is a problem uh so he calls the sheriff and the ambulance and you you know, 911, basically. And they take her, the ambulance, they take her to the hospital where they're trying to resuscitate her.

As if you know, with water, there's brain damage, but you can bring people back because they don't know how long she's been under there. They don't know how long it's happened. Three minutes. It could be a minute. I assume for water to flow through the house and out of the garage and through the house all the way out the garage and then for the neighbor to call somebody, him to come over. It sounds like she's been in there a long time. The call adds up so much more time.

It's going to be, yeah. That's a drive. Guy's got to put his shoes on. That's what I mean. He's got to get in his car, go in, leave. He might have had to leave work. We have no idea. He may have forgotten his wallet and had to go back.

We don't know. Stopped off for coffee. We don't know. We have no idea. That's what I mean. he could have stopped off for an egg McMuffin that's the goddamn water that's their problem turn your goddamn water off you assholes have to check the price on dildos you never know you know what the dildo market you got to check it because it's a very the dildo market fluctuates it really fluctuates it's it's a commodity really i mean there's it's a luxury it's like a pork future, except dildos.

My dildo futures are working well today. Luxury items fluctuate all the time. That's the thing. You never know. Because if it's a bad economy, they might drop real low. You have the commodities market in Chicago. You have the stock market in New York. And then you have the dildo trade in Haiti.

I believe that's where that's from. The Haitian dildo market uh so jesus yeah he uh they take her there she's they can't resuscitate her though rachel has passed away here uh so that's terrible obviously this is children without a mother young lady that's that's dying here husband with no wife husband with no wife this is not good stuff at all father that's a tough life that's a tough life and this poor woman i mean no one wants to drown in their 20s unless you know who knows if she we don't know if she might have taken pills and done this or whatever let's find out what happened here so uh later that day as we'll talk about they uh uh basically

there's a there's a detective here named uh lauren bashoor he's the lead detective in this investigation and he's got a detective bailiff who i hope has no relation to skip because i would assume he would be completely worthless right and not good at his job if he was so they are dispatched to the scene and they do a little look around we'll do a little looky-loo yeah and it's it's there's not much to look at it's a bunch of water they look around they see her in the tub and that's it. So they're like, OK, the only other thing to do is talk to the guy who was here because otherwise we don't know shit.

So the one detective directs the detective bailiff to go find Philip, the husband here and bring him downtown and talk about the death of his wife. Yeah. Let's talk to the husband and see what the fuck he knows here. Also, Philip, where the fuck are your kids? That's the other thing. Hopefully at school or maybe I don't know where they sit or something. So he this bailiff, Detective Bailiff, finds Philip Parks at the hospital.

You know, he was called to say that his wife is there. And the detective told him that he was needed downtown to discuss what had happened yeah you know with his wife and he said quote that i would like for him he said told him that i would like for you to accompany me is what he said downtown to talk about this so um it's not real clear about that's that's a weird i'd like you to accompany me downtown and talk about your wife is i might do you need my help? Are you suspecting me? What are we talking about? Is this a Bob Seger song?

Are you asking me out on a date? Do you love me now? Are we going to go in the backwoods with my 60s? What are we doing? Did you buy his and his dildos? How many dildos do you have at your house? Is this a double-sided situation? See over under on a double-sided.

You think we can work this out or what? The double-sided, does that count as one? Well, I think that's one. No, I think they count by the head. So I'm going to go with it's a... You go by the head. I got a 30-headed dildo. Yeah, it's like cattle.

If you had a two-headed cattle, I think that's... That's two cattle. That's two cattle, there's only one sirloin but it's two head that's why i think head is a bad way to put it two-headed dildo i got me about 55 head of dildo there's only about seven shafts 55 head of dildo. It's only about seven shafts. Yeah, that includes, no, it's about I got about

I got one that looks like it's a tire iron. Oh boy, no. I got one I use for parties. It's got about seven eight heads on it and I can invite my friends over. Call that the octopus. Call that the cocktopus. We call that the octopus call that the cocktopus we call that the swing set because everybody's welcome to come on board but you do need somebody to give you a little push if you know what i mean now holy shit besides that so this guy his ass trim up your pucker brush grab

your dildos and head on down the station fella come on someday you'll accompany me you're gonna accompany me sounds like he's asking him to a dance doesn't it would you excuse me sir now i'm i'm sorry i'm terribly nervous sir um would you accompany me to the winter snowball dance please please. The Patrolman's Fall Fest. It's the big year. It's a formal. So, I mean, it's black tie. Shine your hush puppies.

You know what I mean? But no pressure. I mean, it's just a bunch of the fellers going to be down there. It's going to be a nice little spread. They got them weenies in a blanket. You know what I mean? Them things things there's a little stuff like that appetizers then the ones in the barbecue you know i'm saying because i like them sometimes too there's a little appetizer stuff like that i mean if there's a bar it's a cash bar but you know it's

it's ain't gonna gouge on prices funniest part of all that is i am nervous i'm a little bit i am terribly nervous he's approaching he doesn't know he doesn't want to be rejected i'm getting in character over his own feet of this nervous sheriff he's very nervous he's trying to walk through being gay with somebody he's like listen this isn't here feller i'm uh this shit doesn't go down dodge city but, but around here on Hutchinson, I can tell you. This is a big step for me, all right? Now, if you could just be quiet and let me finish what I'm saying, because I got to get it out. I've been planning it for a long time now.

I think you're a handsome fella, and I've been looking at you for a while, and I like the way you dress. I think you're sharp. I like the way you keep your truck and your lawn. Now, I was wondering if you'd accompany me to the snowball now it's formal i ain't gonna lie so you're gonna have to get dressed up but you ain't got to dance or nothing i mean we'll just hang out and eat them weenies i told you about and then afterwards now afterwards i mean we could go down to the dairy queen and pick up a blizzard or i'll go up to the to the point where you just look out at the at the blank flat space

and and if you're into it listen i know i i do know where there's a bomb shelter i know a bomb shelter used rubbers and broken glass i got no i got dildos all in the trunk i mean we we're all right so we don't he does would you like me to accompany or i'd like you to accompany me is very like i said it's a weird way to put it invitation to be to be uh deposed i don't know and it is because it's a very strategic way of saying it because the cop can't say you have to come with me i mean he can say a lot of times he'll just go come with me and hope the guy doesn't call him on it yeah because if you say come with me and he says no unless he's under arrest he doesn't have to come with you he can say go fuck yourself i don't have to come with you so there's one of those things so i would like you to accompany me as a

way of saying hey you want to come on down make it sound almost like a friendly invitation right so that way it's not yeah legally you're not trying and that way he is less there's less chance he'll go fuck you i'm not how and then you have that challenge of whatever i'd like you to accompany me and then if you go well how come you guys want to talk to you blah blah you can make it sound more casual uh so philip here though seems to be feeling this out because he doesn't he asks uh well can i drive my own truck down there or like what's the deal and uh the detective tells him that now you can ride with me and uh you know we'll take care of getting the vehicle to you right there i'm like nope i'm going anywhere uh no i'll take my own truck and i'll

come down there when i'm ready like or something or whatever i don't know i guess if you're trying to be cooperative and you're if you're innocent you you're going to say, well, fuck, yeah, I want to go help these people figure out what happened to my wife. And if that's good, yeah, you know, and if you're guilty, I would assume you'd probably also be like, I better act like I want these people to find out what happened to my wife. Yeah. You know, so, you know, either way, I think you probably what's the right answer there? It's a tough one.

Yeah. He says, can I drive my own truck? They said no. So he gets into the officer's car. Now, they don't say, but I'm very curious of where he got into the officer's car. Because if I'm him, I am not sitting in that back seat. No. I'm getting in the front.

I'm grabbing that. I'm sitting up. Yeah, we're going to stop it. That's for criminals. We're stopping at McDonald's and everything like this is we're fucking. That shit back there is for fucking people who did shit. You're going to let me like flick the siren on and off and shit and scare the hell out of people walking down the street i'm gonna make fun of some people we're gonna have a i'm gonna have an

open mic we're gonna have fun with this shit yeah this is not over haha just joking hey all right bye later we so they take him to the police station where they meet the other detective and they start the interrogation at 8.20 a.m., which is, wow, that's an early interrogation. Excessively early. Can we move this up to after lunch? Yeah. It's interrogation.

It's very... I'd like my body to be functioning by then. Let's push this back a drop, you know? So the detective here, he said that basically he wants... It's really weird here because once he gets down there he's like why why am i here and do i have to be down here yeah and they said then they start getting into well you don't i didn't say you had to be down here i just asked you to accompany me cool gotta run then so it's it gets into that though or they're it's like they're trying to

act like hey man you're not a suspect even though you're really not free to leave, sort of. And I drove you in my own car down here. But it's all fine. And then he's trying to act like it's totally cool. I want to help you guys out. But also, are you trying to arrest me at the same time? So it's a weird feel out period. Whenever there's a spouse death like this, there's always this weird feel out that we see between the the

suspect you know the person they may or may not suspect well first off the husband the husband yeah usually right away and uh yeah it's always that and so uh i don't know he says that uh the cop though later on will say that they say like what if he asked to go home yeah what would you have said and he goes i don't know what i would have said at that point he didn't he didn't even get that fucking far like that's how i don't even know if that's an experience on that point or you're just trying to wing it or but he was just like i was just hoping he'd go with it yeah and if he didn't i'd be like i don't know then fella like what would they have done yeah what would they have done ah you're oh shit all right got me got me all right then well you want to go to movies later would you accompany me to the Yeah, what would they have done? Ah, you're a snitch. Oh, shit. All right, then. Got me. Got me.

All right, then. Well, you want to go to the movies later? Would you accompany me to the drive-in? I'm going to call them fancy L.A. boys and find out what they would have done. That's what I'm saying. So he says that, you know, he didn't know. He said he would have had to have maybe consult with the county attorney. Like, would you accompany me?

No. Hold on one minute. I got to make a phone call. Would you accompany me? I need someone to accompany me i can't go alone it's the snowball it'll be embarrassing everybody else gonna have somebody it's bad enough i ain't got a wife so jesus christ now how hard it is being gay in this god damn it jesus christ nobody i know there's other gay people they ain't admitting it it's kansas god damn no target there's no home goods i can't go anywhere it's dangerous go nowhere go down to the salt mines nobody wants

to find somebody you find down there this is dirty you don't even like gay guys down there calling me all kind of names i thought that was the place to go i thought that was the gay bar in town i was like the salt mine sounds good to me and then i got there i was like nope this ain't it nope it's a bunch of kids with little baggies of salt i was like all right cocaine oh shit so uh the other detective says later on that he could have left if he wanted to. He wasn't there. He wasn't under arrest, which that's the legal thing. They couldn't have kept him there if he didn't want to be there. If he's not under arrest, he's, you know, arrest the guy.

He did ask to use a phone to call an attorney. Philip's part. Philip Parks does. He says, I'd like to use a phone to call an attorney. Now there's a phone in the room. They're in the police station. This is a police station. It doesn't have like, oh, take him in interrogation B.

Make him pay for it. It doesn't have that. It's not like The Wire, where there's separate interrogation rooms with a little metal table that they... None of that shit. He brought him in the police station and sat him down at his desk

where he's got pictures of his kids and his fucking white-out thing and all that shit. And he sat there and he said, so, fella, let me ask you. So he says, rather than use the phone that's right there right instead the detective uh be sure uh takes him into the county attorney's office to make the call which is very weird i don't know why you would do that i don't know if it was office into the county attorney's office just like in the conference conference complex yeah office complex i guess he's they share the office with the county attorney they're all in there together but but is the shit is the county attorney sitting

there that's what i'm trying to figure out and i could never figure out whether the county attorney sitting there or if the county attorney's i don't know if the police line is monitored maybe or seems like a phone call i want to have in private that's what i mean i don't know if that's why they took him in it's very strange but uh the county attorney wasn't in at the time okay uh he's not in the room so and they ended up going back to they didn't let him use the phone because the county attorney wasn't there which is weird so instead they take him back to the office and then the philip gives the cop the phone number and the cop dials the phone for him and then uh gives him there so he then takes it back so they're still talking to him he's not told that he's free to leave until about 11 a.m when they're done interrogating him

three hours once they're done in terror i'm calling it an interrogation they could say they were talking to him and trying to find shit out but visit whatever it was an interrogation and they don't tell him he's free to leave until about 11 a.m which is after the interrogation's over when he's been there for two and a half hours now granted they don't have to say hey you're free to leave he never asked to leave so for them it's one of those things like they'll sit there and talk to him as long as they'll fucking talk to him why would they want you know why would they say hey by the way you're free to leave at any time if you want to but at the same time if he's a suspect and there's a miranda thing so it's all it's all getting complicated here so uh they ended up uh the

detectives then leave for a little bit they go go to the house where Rachel was found, their house, the Parks' home, and they talk to Philip's father, who found Rachel. They talk to Mary Jackson, the next-door neighbor, and they talk to her husband, and they both say they saw water coming out of the house. And then this was like right after, basically like Philip left,

and then a few minutes later they saw the water. Oh. So it was not much. There was a lot of water it was not much there was a lot of water in that house there was a lot of water in the house like he had to like have made sure yeah he had to have uh wet socks getting in his car that's i mean it wasn't long enough to where it was like uh it would have to been a couple hours or something it wasn't long enough to where he left before water was turned on. And then, you know, that's what I mean. It would take because I mean, fill up a bathtub. How long does that take? To fill it up? Probably 20, 30 minutes.

It takes fucking forever to fill up a bathtub. If you got a big tub. Yeah. You know, not even a big tub. Just a tub that a human being can fit into. It takes 20 minutes, a half hour. So either way, just to fill the tub and then for it to spill over and then for it to flow all through the house, carpeting, soaking it up

so that's less there, and then going all the way out to a garage, through that and out that door. We're talking- That's lots of water. That's an hour of running water. Yeah, it's an hour of running water. At least. And that's a low estimate, I would say.

So, I mean, I don't know much about flowing water, but that just seems logically- That's a lot of water, man. If it takes 20 minutes to fill the tub up you're gonna need at least another tub full of water to i mean and another one it's at least an hour i fell asleep in my mother's shower with my hip over the drain drunk in a fucking shower so it's it's just a low thing with a with a i don't know half inch with a little lip yeah a little lip i fell asleep in there for i don't know 30 minutes to 45 minutes passed out drunk yeah that's sorry whatever in my mom's house yeah that's pretty sad no one does that sober no no no no that's on the shower floor so i woke up bathtub you weren't supposed to be sitting that's the point i'm getting it's

not a big bathroom it's maybe i don't know eight by ten it's a little place and i got out i it's smaller than that it's probably six by eight huh i don't know i don't fucking know you're looking at me i don't know how big is the bathroom how big is your mom's bathroom i have no idea james how big is my mom's bathroom i mean like i don't know shit jimmy let me talk about it we're always at your mom's house hanging out in her bathroom i'll bet it's six by eight probably point is uh no jimmy i'm gonna go with a by ten as a matter of fact i think you're i think you're underselling this bathroom a little bit how many dildos are over there let me ask you that much that's a good question too so i fell asleep in there 20 30 minutes maybe tops i got up went down the hallway i cleaned up the bathroom real fast then i got out in the hallway all

carpet mind you eight feet in either direction was soaked that's it oh my god yeah and that's not a tub yeah mind you that's not that's just a shower so this had to be on a while to be a lot of water that's what i'm saying and that's what the police are saying too where it's not enough time for her to be like bye honey i'm gonna take a bath now him leave and then you know that's all happen that's all go down. So they're trying to set up the timeline. And they're also trying to set up the timeline of when the father came there. And they're trying to set up because they have you can turn the faucet on and find out exactly how long it'll take. This is how long this many gallons takes. And they can figure out the thing.

And it won't take a lot of math to figure out how long the water was on is what I'm getting at. It's all a lighthearted nightmare on our podcast, Morbid. We're your hosts. I'm Alina Urquhart. And I'm Ash Kelly. And our show is part true crime, part spooky, and part comedy. The stories we cover are well-researched. He claimed and confessed to officially killing up to 28 people.

With a touch of humor. I'd just like to go ahead and say that if there's no band called Malevolent Deity, that is pretty great. A dash of sarcasm and just garnished a bit with a little bit of cursing. This mother****er lied. Like a liar. Like a liar. And if you're a weirdo like us and love

to cozy up to a creepy tale of the paranormal, or you love to hop in the Wayback Machine and dissect the details of some of history's most notorious crimes. You should tune in to our podcast, Morbid. Follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to episodes early and ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. I understand that anybody who's paid attention to the media would have to come to the conclusion that I killed my wife.

Hi, my name is Zach Stewart-Pontier. I'm one of the filmmakers behind The Jinx, and I'm excited to bring you The Official Jinx Podcast. We'll be revisiting all six episodes of Part 1 and watching along with Part 2 as it airs on Max, starting April 21st. Bye-bye. The Official Jinx Podcast.

Listen on Max or wherever you get yourbye. The official Jinx podcast. Listen on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. Need to find out times. They talked to Jennifer. Jennifer is his six-year-old daughter. They have a... He has a six-year-old daughter and I believe she has a child too,

but neither of them were married before, but they have kids. So six-year-old daughter and i believe she has a child too but neither of them were married before but they have kids so six-year-old daughter now this is weird the detectives talk to a six-year-old i hate this to ask her about what's been going on with your parents relationship you can first of all you can implant anything in the six-year-old you can get them to say anything james i squashed a fish at disneyland or seaw. You can get us to do fucking anything. Literally, you can do a six-year-old. They believe in fantastical things.

They believe a giant bunny comes and gives them chocolate. James, a weird, that's like everybody. A giant one. Because you go to school and you talk about that. Yeah, yeah. They believe that somebody comes in and takes their teeth out from underneath their pillow and leaves them money. And saves them.

That's the craziest one. They believe this. And they believe that their parents would be okay with this. Right. money. That's the craziest one. They believe this. And they believe that their parents would be okay with this. No, no. Come on and take body parts from my child. It's a ghoul. It's sort of like a... They don't need the door open.

They can just go through walls. It's just this ghoul. And they're going to come into your room, hover above you. No, be right next to your head. So close they'll be under your pillow, you won't even know it because you're sleeping. And they're going to take it and they're going to leave you money, which is even creepier.

Well, they have your body parts. Not a prize. DNA. Or a toy. They can frame you for murder. Or a thank you card. A fucking dollar, which is just creepy. The whole thing.

I mean, a six-year-old does not rely on... A dollar, you rich fuck. Yeah. Six-year-old is not rely on a dollar. You rich fuck. Yeah. Six-year-old is not reliable testimony. We'll put it that way. So they're just talking to the six-year-old and they ascertain from Jennifer, young little Jennifer, poor little girl who just lost somebody. This is crazy that her parents were, quote, having some problems.

That sounds like kid language. What is a fuck? Yeah. You know what? Things are a little tough lately. Kid lit a cigarette and was like, I'll take a brandy. Listen, they've been having some problems. Been rough around there.

He rubs her up and shit. My dad's quarterly review at work didn't go well. He came home a little upset. Now, my mother, she's been having some problems. She thinks it might be uh she's it's she might need a hysterectomy is what i'm getting she's having some issues in there she's some uterine issues a little more a little body fallopian tubes are about to fall out so with that said um also they just put a second mortgage on the house now i told them uh i told them i said

that 4.9 you're out of your fucking mind i said that's gonna be nuts but they told me that this is a good deal they said the guy is telling them that the market's gonna go i don't know we'll put it i don't know i point is we're house poor he doesn't you should hear the advice i give him about his 401k you think he fucking listens to me so you know what i mean like i don't need to hear this shit so basically what i'm getting at is all these things add up and they're having some problems what is this e and j yeah you don't have anything better having some problems having some problems to mommy and daddy fight ever that's what you'd say yes yeah i mean do they ever argue i mean even back and forth they disagree maybe blah blah that's how you would talk to a six-year-old and they go yeah because they whatever you ask them they think that you want to hear yeah right or no

or no and if you lead them toward do they do that right yeah you ever see mommy bleed because daddy over and over that's not even the thing just are they having some problems it would be like do do they do you ever see him argue does daddy ever like get upset and then mommy gets upset because you know adults never argue like i mean adult humans that live together and share bank accounts never argue a problem to a six-year-old is he shit his pants so asking a kid do your parents have problems my kid my six-year-old would have been like yeah daddy has problems all the time well like an argument between a six for a six-year-old would be like well mommy wanted to watch this show and daddy wanted to watch this show so that's they're having problems they're having problems because to them that would be like you can't get along with that person if i want to

watch spongebob and you want to watch it's like we can't we can't get along obviously this is irreconcilable your dad's constantly asking what's your problem what's your problem everybody's got a problem right what's his problem what's our problem what's your goddamn problem they've got problems all the time yeah uh so they basically they they on the basis of that they were like okay so we have some water and we have some problems from a six-year-old we don't have a lot to go on here as far as physical evidence or anything else goes so they they decided that this was not sufficient to constitute probable cause at the time. So they're like, okay. So this is when they,

this is all happened. This is when they said, go get him. Go get him from the hospital and bring him here. Maybe he'll say something stupid. So they bring him in and all they could say about him was that he was suspicious. Okay.

So now they have, this is what the police have. They have a drowned woman. They have a guy saying that I left and she was fine. And they have a six-year-old saying some problems and the husband seems suspicious. Right. That's all they have. And a neighbor saying that he just left and now there's water. But, and her time period, though, you're depending.

The timeline's a little sketchy. You're depending on someone who didn't look at the clock when he left and look at the clock. But, and her time period, though. The timeline's a little sketchy. You're depending on someone who didn't look at the clock when he left and look at the clock. That's the other thing, too. You're depending on someone who just was in her house coat cleaning her Tupperware and dildos looking out the window. Like, oh, there he goes. And then saw some water. Or it was your mind, lady. That's what I mean.

All right. Exactly. I mean, when you're. How lonely are you? Yeah. When you're daydreaming. When your dildos are that. Right. When you have that many, you have a lot to do and it's hard to pay attention to other

people's bullshit. Did the hands on the clock look like dildos? Is that how horny you were? Where was the big dildo? Where was the black one? Tell me where the black one was. In my dishwasher. Okay.

That was on the five. And the little dildo was where? What about that medium fast ticking one? Where was that? Where was that? where was that guy where was he so jesus christ it's on the five so uh that's when they they said he seems suspicious so now they have suspicious and some problems which is not really it's pretty vague

probable cause at this point so uh now the county attorney sits down and interviews mary jackson they keep interviewing this neighbor like she's got more to say you've got all she has to say saw him leave right saw some water called that guy all gleaned venom out see why you don't talk to your fucking neighbors or pay attention i'm doing a nice thing guess what you are now you're talking to cops county attorneys all you know you could have been talking to nobody you could have been looking out the window going wonder what's going on next door there's a cop car there an ambulance that's weird close these blinds there's some crazy shit when i get the mail i'll ask the cop what's happening that's it then i'll

go back and fucking side i'll see if i can overhear something i don't even know, I'll ask the cop what's happening. That's it. Then I'll go back and fuck inside. I'll see if I can overhear something. I don't even know if I'll ask about it. The questions will be coming from me, not from them. Oh, this seems like fuck. This will be on the local news. And you go inside. That's it.

I'll see this later. I'll see it in the paper tomorrow. Whatever the case may be. Is that what was going on there? Yeah, this is why you don't pay attention to your neighbors or find out who their fathers are and have their phone numbers jesus christ what an idiot so anyway uh yeah she uh she said basically uh he said based on the county attorney based on talking to mary jackson based on her seeing him leave and then later seeing water yeah the the least witness of any witness here

he says that he thinks there's more than sufficient evidence to establish probable cause based on talking to him based on talking to her just based on the water thing he's gonna go well definitely he did it so uh yeah slam dunk let's do it let's do it here so uh without and this is the other thing, though. He didn't say this to either detective that morning because he determined this during the interrogation. But then he talked to the detectives and never said, like, I talked to Mary Jackson. I think we're fine. I think we're going to arrest this guy.

He just ends up. The guy goes at 11 o'clock with the county attorney convinced that he's, you know, going to be charged here at some point. So he ends up being charged with murder. They do charge him with murder here. County attorney does. Now, he gives his statements to our he doesn't he he does give up a prop. They give him a Miranda warning before they talk to him. He does voluntarily say what he says.

But he didn't say that he killed her or anything like that. He just gave his statement that seems like a lie about the water, which kind of ties him into a lie. Which once you're lying about something, then it looks like you did it. The story is questionable, but it doesn't make him a goddamn murderer. It's tough. If he did do this, he did it in a way that's pretty tough to prove

because there's no, they found she's not strangled. There's no bruises. She's not bruised. She's not strangled. She's not beaten. She's not drugged. She's not poisoned.

She's not none of this shit. She's just drowned. Okay. So, I mean, Whitney Houston. That's what I'm saying. Whitney Houston was full of fucking drugs.

She drowned. She passed out. This is just a healthy 27-year-old woman drowned. No drugs, no booze. Just drowned. Oh, that's... Just a 27-year-old woman that drowned in the tub. Generally doesn't happen.

It's not normal. But I mean, they're saying, was she a fucking narcoleptic all of a sudden? Yeah. Or I mean, was she... Did she have a seizure? Did she have a seizure? Yeah. They're looking for anything like that, but they can't find anything.

And also, it's 1978. Right. So we don't know how good the... She might have had a fucking aneurysm and they just didn't see it or something. We have no idea. But anyway, either way, we'll talk about it,

what we think happened here. It'll become more clear later, I feel like, in this episode. This is one of those episodes, by the way, don't turn it off when you think it's over because it ain't fucking over. No, but... We'll put it that way.

There's more to come. Right. So he says that that you know he was there he does say though he takes right away he's saying that any statements he made should be suppressed because that he was he was uh detained without probable cause he's calling a fourth amendment violation here right off the start he's saying that he was he felt that he was involuntarily detained. He felt like you're you know, would you accompany me to the station and not being able to drive his own car? Having to go in a cop car meant that he was in custody, which sounds like it when you when that's what I mean.

If it's if you're helping, then you can drive your own car. You know what I'm saying? I mean, it's great to offer me a ride, but you go, I'll drive. I'm good. And they go, oh, no, no, no. You drive with me. We'll get your car here. That just seems like.

Do they insist? Is that what that is? That's what I'm saying. If it's insistent, I feel like it's like, no. Once he said, can I drive? And he said, no, you ride with me. I feel like at that point. You should have just said that we're surely going to be using this against you. You know what I mean? And he said, no, you ride with me. I feel like at that point, you should have just said that we're surely going to be using

this against you. Yeah. We're investigating. It's yeah. So the state says that he, you know, they're going to say he was not detained involuntarily. He voluntarily came to the to the sheriff's office. The whole deal. They said that he basically that he he felt that the court hears a bunch of shit.

And they say that he was basically his statements of when and where when he lied was was what puts him in here. That's what they're going to go on. This is a very thin murder case. Yeah, it is. Dead wife. He lied about times. So he did it. I mean, Jesus Christ. That ain't enough oj wouldn't

even it was a trial that lasted a day yeah for christ's sake there so i mean this is not a lot so they the court ends up uh he's up for murder uh the the the only thing that's that's holding him there is a statement the court ends up deciding that uh that neither uh basically that the county attorney's information that he had for mary jackson for some reason that he said was enough to hold him that had not been not been given to the detectives yet so the detectives had no reason to hold him and interrogate him is what they're saying voluntarily or not and they And they said that he felt like he was not there voluntarily, so they throw out his statement. The court throws out a statement.

That's good. So the state goes, well, fuck, that's the whole case. That's it. That's all we have. So the state appeals this. Oh, Jesus. So they have to appeal to try to get the statement back in, and it's crazy.

They're calling. I have all these citing these cases of this and that. But the court says the burden of proof is on the state to show the admissibility of the statement if there's a motion to suppress. And basically, they didn't do that. So even the appeals court affirms that. And the state does not know what the fuck to do. So they dismissed the charges. Good.

Without prejudice. Good. You can't do that. No, it's dismissed. It's the American Constitution, goddammit. Philip Parks goes free. So at that point, it's like whether he killed his wife, didn't kill his wife, it really doesn't fucking matter because they didn't have any proof of anything to do that.

So time goes on. This is 1981. This whole thing goes on for three years where he's held in jail to 81 yeah he's held in jail going back and forth oh my god he's held in jail the whole time well yeah it's a murder charge so he's in jail no bail and he's there and and he's you know fighting this and uh he gets his statement thrown out but then there's an appeal so he has to wait that out. Ruins his fucking life. And so he finally, after 1981 comes along, and that's when it's thrown out for good,

the state finally, in July of 81, dismisses the charges, and he's free to go. So he sticks around Kansas for a little bit, but ends up moving to New Mexico, which, I don't know, if I'm him, I'm probably getting the fuck out of Dodge too here, and I mean that literally.

Yeah, I'm taking off. It's probably close, huh? Yeah, I'm getting the fuck out of here. First of all, if I didn't do it, everybody here thinks I killed my wife. The whole town hates me. Who I loved and she died, which is the worst thing that could happen to you

other than your kid dying. So it's like you would feel, that would be the worst thing that could happen to you other than your kid dying. So it's like you would feel... That would be the worst thing. If your loved one dies and everyone thinks you did it and you didn't do it, that has to be the worst thing on earth. Not only did you lose them, but everybody doesn't even take your mourning seriously and they say you did it. That has to be horrible.

It's terrible. And if you did do it, that's just uncomfortable. If you are a murderer and you killed your wife it's hard to keep that charade and everyone's going around you're like i'm so sad and they're like yeah fuck you buddy you ain't sad like no one wants to be around there awfully big uh sad smile yeah uh so philip uh moves on and philip ends up being married a total of five times good lord he gets married four more times in the next 12 years jesus which he's averaging a marriage every three years which is too many marriages it's a bad batting average that's what i mean that's right about there you're talking about dude if a guy

i'm sorry i i'm and i don't care i mean people i've got a woman yeah yeah i've been married i've been married twice it's fine and you know, things happen to people. I will be married twice eventually. That's what I mean. It happens. One of those things. But, like, five times. Five's a lot.

Well, five. If you're 80, I could see it. Let's say you got married when you were 20. You got divorced when you were 32. And you tried again. And it didn't work out. And then maybe somebody died. And then, you know, you got married again when you were 60.

But then they died when you were 72. and then you're two you meet some other old men and you guys are gonna whatever whatever the fuck it is yeah i could see it if you're like 86 and it's your fifth marriage you're like whatever like you could have outlived three of these people but maybe this guy knows it maybe he looks in the mirror every day and goes philip you're a real dick you know that you realize that five? Five? Because my dad's 50. No, he's 60. He's been married seven times. He knows he's the problem.

That's a lot. He knows it's him. That's a lot. He's pretty sure it's him. But what about by age 40? By 40? No, I think maybe. Five?

God damn it, maybe. It may have been six. Let me ask you this. Did one of them drown in a tub and he spent three years fighting the the statements being suppressed in court didn't happen so he had those three years he didn't even have three of these years so from like 82 let's say to 93 he's married four more times yeah which is a lot that is a lot it's a lot of marrying good lord that is some emotionally unstable behavior. And even if he's doing very well financially for that's that's a bad. That's a lot of bad weddings, too. Yeah.

Well, only someone who's doing very well financially wouldn't have been married five times. They would have learned their lesson after twice or they would have been probably not broke by now. Happiness. Yeah. Broke people can get divorced five times because they have nothing to take from each other yeah you know all right so it's fine that's a damn good point it's true yeah it is they just have nothing just like you go your way i'll go my way there's no financial take the couch i'll take the microwave see you around no financial tentacles whatsoever best of luck whatever yeah you take what you can carry i'll take what i can carry and we'll leave this shamrocks

farms milk crate we'll break this fucking lease and we'll take off we'll break this two-bedroom apartment lease fuck we barely got it anyway yours too weird fine you know what fine you get 54 dildos i get 53 fine fine you know what fine it's cool it's cool that is 107 i get it that's what happens so that's how much i hate you yes that's how much one more one more take it go ahead you take the double side and then that's going to be there you go so he has some problems in these marriages obviously yeah if you're married five times that means four of them didn't go well at least so it's one of those things uh so obviously his first wife dead in the tub rachel here uh his second wife uh he they their marriage ends after he forces her to

the floor and this is fucked up by and stuffs a rubber ball into her mouth and like into her throat oh Jesus that's his way of trying to like stop her from breathing shut up you bitch I've heard enough out of you I feel like this is almost like a like a murder

method like to shove a rubber ball and take the rubber ball oh shit because it's a that's a it's to stop their breathing but there's no strangulation holy shit so james i'm fucking horrified and terrified of you at the same time yeah that's just i would have never thought about that i was just thinking why someone would do that and i'm like maybe that's his way i don't know maybe that's how you get someone to like be knocked out and be in a tub without having any strangle marks yeah or when they're in the

tub either one yeah you could just put the ball i don't know but this might be his trick uh but she gets away from him yeah and uh divorces him so uh that's good for her it's his second wife yeah not bad now his third wife this is a they're they haven't you know they get married and i mean it's he sounds like a dream guy right off the bat. He's a real charmer. He's a single dad. Yeah. You know, he's got that going for him.

But at the same time, I mean, who doesn't want somebody who's, you know, did, was in jail for three years, suspected of murdering his first wife. And, you know, he's on his third wife. What happened to your second wife? Oh, we just didn't get along. You know. Couldn't get the pen down her throat. Yeah, it's a little fucking weird.

That tennis ball doesn't stick. It was a rubber ball? A rubber ball. I'm thinking like a racquetball. Yeah. Like a racquetball. That size would fit in someone's mouth and would be smushy enough. Not too smushy, but smushy enough to where you could manipulate it in there,

but not squishy enough to where it would go all the way down. Yeah, you could hold on. But yeah, either either way it's uh those get slippery though also you could i would think you could heimlich that fucker out if it got stuck because it's a ball yeah it would shoot right out of there i don't know i'm just saying so yeah somehow he finds another woman that's another thing if you can't find someone out there this fucking dude is finding women to marry him a lot a lot of women most of you if you can't find someone you didn't i guarantee you probably didn't like have to nearly stand trial for murder of your first wife you probably are a better catch is what i'm getting at the other part is this is five women that agreed to spend the rest of their lives with him this is his girlfriend yeah think about the ones that are like willing to spend a night with him that's what i mean who knows who this

asshole is so it's crazy so his third wife uh ends up leaving him as well um you know i mean she has a good reason i feel like uh he tried to strangle her uh-huh um you know so he tried to strangle her and uh she went He tried to kill me and I'm leaving now. He is charged with an assault on this one, too. There's a domestic assault situation there. He has a couple of legal wranglings over the next few years as far as police being called to his house for domestic situations. Because, you know, every wife he has, he's trying to stop their breathing in some way, shape or form. All of them so far.

He has a real thing about stopping their breathing, which is interesting here. I don't like this guy. He's not a good guy here. So they could not, later on when they're looking for her, his fourth wife cannot be tracked down somewhere. We don't know what happened. Who the fuck knows if she's. She's outdoors now. She's outdoors now.

We don't know if she's buried in a ditch if she just ran to alaska to get away from this guy and changed her fucking name and went underground we have no idea but she just disappeared off the face of the earth basically his fourth wife so viola parks is the fifth wife a woman named viola fifth wife jesus christ can you fourth is like in hiding or something fourth is yeah in hiding in seclusion she wants nothing to do with anybody or fucking dead they literally can't find her they don't know what happened to her so we don't know where she is there's no record but they're not married yeah they're divorced okay and he ends up getting married for a fifth time

which is kind of incredible for being with you like i said he's uh you know he's in his 40s here i mean if you get divorced do you generally tell your next spouse how many times you've been divorced and how how it led up to that yeah well how does this thing how do you say well my first wife right in the tub i mean now you can play off as tragic i went to work and i got a call damn it i got a call and she just yeah you could see that being a very sad thing that'd be terrible we got kids yeah we got a poor little jennifer a little little blonde headed jennifer i didn't do it i'm out she looks like john bonnet guys that's how cute she is she cried for days adorable i don't even put makeup on her

and yeah horror up to so older men find her attractive you know because i'm a good parent number two oh she choked on a bracket ball you know you know that goes you know i'm i'm a good shot we were playing here's how it happened we were playing and she was she said oh and i'm trying to make fun of me at that exact moment i returned her serve with a vigor came off that wall fucking holy shit wow all next thing you know i had to give her the heimlich i got it out of her i got it out of her she was so mad how bad i beat her ragged ball divorce me divorce me you know that goes and my fifth wife i mean number three or my fourth wife three three that's a four is gone my third wife just a fragile like. That's where four is going. My third wife, just a fragile-

Count like I do today. Just a fragile neck on her. She just has a very fragile- You could just go, hey, darling, just grab on with both hands, and she'd be like, ow, you're strangling me. This is really weird. Just divorcing me. Divorce.

Sensitive neck. That's what I put it down to. Number four. You know, I'm still wondering. I just signed the paperwork. Do you know? If you find her, let me know. Do you have any idea, maybe?

So what do you say? Marriage? Marriage, huh? She's in. She's in. Yeah, that sounds good. Wow. Who is he finding?

Then there's a fifth, Viola Parks. Viola. Jesus Christ. Viola ends up with him. Viola files for divorce in 1994 files for divorce from him and apparently this upsets him a little bit and wow oh boy let's see here uh how do we get into this here uh he was basically he had pinned. He pins Viola down is what her story pins her down and is strangling her. And at one point takes a butter knife.

Okay. This is the I've never seen or heard. This guy's the most original murderer I've ever heard of. Takes a butter knife and puts it up against her throat not like you put like uh like in a movie like putting a razor blade like i'll cut the person put it in the center like put it up to her throat like like with this like with the point it's a butter knife the rounded point up to her like he's gonna stab her in the throat and then hits it with his fist wow he starts punching the butter knife to drive it into her throat

okay that's his plan that is fucking painful and ridiculous and really not a good way to murder anybody really just an awful way to murder the sharpest thing in the house that's what i mean that's his way of murdering somebody whoa a butter knife punched into her throat that's not even like god i don't even i don't even know what the fuck why would you do that okay um so he's hitting it with his fist as it's jabbing into her throat yeah she eventually as this is going on because he's he pinned her with his knees like on her arms and shit he she eventually bites him yeah when her his hand comes too close to her mouth she gets all of one of his fingers.

Nice. And bites the fuck out of him until he kind of lets off for a second. Yeah. And she gets out of there and runs away with a fucking butter knife sticking out of her throat. He got it in. Oh, he was punching it with a fist. If I punch a butter knife into your throat, it's going in there. What the fuck is happening?

So, she survives. Okay. But. Yeah. punch a butter knife into your throat it's going in there what the fuck is happening so um she survives okay but yeah uh this is fucked up this poor woman the knife in there was uh constricted an artery while it was in there and it constricted artery enough to impede the blood flow to the point where she lost a limb or caused a stroke oh, Jesus. So she had a stroke while this was going on, while she was trying to get to the hospital and all this, leaving her left side about half paralyzed. Oh, no. So for the rest of her life, this woman is droopy on one side. Wow. Because of this guy's fucking butter knife.

I didn't even know that was possible. If you said to me, this woman is half paralyzed, what do you think happened? That would be the last thing I'd say. I don't know. Husband pinned her down, punched a butter knife in her throat so she had a stroke. And now she's paralyzed. Right? That's what happens.

Right? That's normal. I would have guessed so many things. The last fucking thing you'd expect is what happened. I'd never guess it. I'd never know. Because I've never heard of it before. It's fucking crazy. Have you ever

heard of it before? No. So, uh, Jesus Christ, uh, while this is going on, uh, while he is apparently jabbing this into her throat, he's also talking shit to her, uh, uh, complaining that

she wouldn't die fast enough okay like literally like what the fuck man like that's how she said he was acting to do like literally like you're just such a fucking pain in the ass well you don't even die fast you're just it takes you forever to get ready everywhere we go you don't even die quick that's the type of crazy we're talking about here uh now he also uh made some other statements while he was doing that statements that i guess you would make if uh you would didn't think this person was going to live through what you were doing here uh like i said she filed this is two days after she filed for divorce from him this ends up happening here uh she wow this is fucked up man she said oh jesus she says that uh while he's up there like i said he's telling her that she that she didn't die fast enough

and then he's he's killing he's doing he's punching the thing punching the butter knife and he says i'm gonna kill you like i killed rachel oh no he literally said oh boy i'm gonna kill you yep like i killed rachel oh shit uh so not terrific like i said you probably wouldn't say that to somebody like that you thought was gonna live right so not only is she a slow dyer uh she has a good memory right and she remembers when you say that you killed your first wife did they find any favorware in his fucking uh i believe life there was no rusty knife nothing nothing no no none of that shit there was no anything but he said i'm gonna kill you like i killed her though you're not doing it like you killed her you're

doing it weird yeah well this is a weird way of killing somebody not only that that is the only evidence is evidence of this from this woman who's getting a butter knife jabbed in her neck who might have an axe to grind. But at the same time also maybe she doesn't even know who the fuck Rachel is. She might not even know. This is what he told me. Does this mean anything to you guys? And they went well that's his first wife who died under mysterious circumstances.

First wife. Maybe we should talk about that. Yeah we don't know what she knows about his past or anything like that. So she survived. She said after everything quote I've been to hell and back because she's, you know, whatever. She's had the stroke and everything. She says in court, although her husband didn't kill her, she's half dead anyway, she says, and points to her other side. Just damn it. Very, very, very, very sad.

just damn it very very very very sad uh yeah she uh he ends up he's gonna have to plead to this because she's in court crying saying hey he tried to kill me so you know it's hard to deny that uh crying woman was half stroked and paralyzed here uh so the cops also while this is all going on they go why don't we call up let's call k up. Let's give them a call and just tell them maybe they'll be interested. Reno County might be interested in the fact that he does. I'm going to kill you like I killed Rachel. Mean anything to you guys type of deal. So they're very, very interested in that. And they want to go check that out a little bit here.

But back to her for a minute. She Viola asked the judge to uh to quote give him the sentence he deserves uh the judge cited cold and calculating circumstances here uh as uh the judge talks about the fact that he was sitting on her chest and complaining and saying why aren't you dying fast enough right which is crazy uh this is a jury. He doesn't plead to this, but a jury of seven men he got on this jury, too, which is surprising, and five women. And they return guilty on attempted murder. And they deliberate for barely an hour because, obviously.

But they do acquit him on evidence tampering. There was an evidence tampering charge involving the butter knife. What did you trying? I have no idea if he tried to wipe his fingerprints off as she ran out of the house with it protruding from her neck or what here. It's crazy. But they plan to present aggravating circumstances to convince the judge to send the basically the sentence that for this is a nineyear sentence is what we're looking at.

But they're trying to convince the judge to jack it up to 12 based on aggravating circumstances. Which, yeah, that makes sense. She says during the sentencing part that, quote, there were times I would have liked to kill myself. And the county attorney kept me from it because they were doing all of this. The county attorney kept me from it because they were doing all of this. So he says, Parks, Philip Parks, that he's deeply sorry for the pain and suffering I caused my wife. And I do beg her for forgiveness. The defense attorney cites several reasons that his client doesn't deserve extra prison time.

He says, look, he let her up. Quote, he let her up. He made a concerted decision to not kill her. Oh, no. No, that's not what happened, actually. She bit you, and so you eased up, and then she fought for her life and got the fuck out of there. He didn't say, all right, fine. I'll let you up now. Bye.

Have a good one. Don't tell nobody. That's not what happened. She ran out of the fucking house. And the district attorney said that he has been rewarded for that because he's not because quote she's still alive and you're not facing first degree murder so that's your reward yeah to not go to jail forever yeah or get the fucking chair in the state or be you know tied to a fucking barn and wait for a tornado or however they execute people there i

don't know it's kansas who knows they just put them on one of the fire blow holes the gas blow holes and wait for the it's way forward to happen now for the ignition he gonna be ashes real soon now so uh yeah uh she you know wow he also said that he tried to uh strangle her after stabbing her at that time. But, you know, she tried to bite him. And so then he lost his grip on the knife. So he just tried to strangle her instead. So the district attorney said, yeah, not only are you not facing first degree murder, he said, honestly, it should be considered two attempts on her life because you stabbed her.

Then you strangled her. That's great. That's two. You're getting off lucky, asshole. So there's your leniency right there. I'll bet that's true, too, right? I mean, he probably could have. Yeah, I'm sure he could have gotten it through with this guy.

I mean, if you shoot a guy twice and he doesn't die, is that two attempts? It depends on the state, but I believe so because I see tons of cases where it's like, you know, one person and there's 14 counts of attempted murder. I'm like, there's only one guy. How does that happen so the judge here says quote i'm impressed this is when a judge says this you know you fucked up yeah quote i'm impressed by how cold and calculating your acts were impressed by it like i see a lot of crazy shit you take the cake sir you know you're fucked i went see a lot of crazy shit. You take the cake, sir. You know you're fucked.

I went through a lot of law school. You're why? You, sir. You. My whole life is culminating to this one moment to remind you, you're fucking impressive. You're a pretty impressive fellow there, pal. He says, you, sir, may fuck off. 12-year sentence. He tacked three on for an aggravator.

Got him. Which he's super pissed about this guy he's so fucking mad no it was nine what the fuck he this isn't the last time he'll do this too uh 1996 now that was 1994 so attempted murder he's in prison in in albuquerque 1996 kansas they go yeah let's throw a charge on that fucking guy. They're going to try him. We feel good about it now. Yeah. They have the they have his wife.

They have Viola who's going to come on, testify that he while he was jamming a knife into her throat and trying to strangle her, he said, I'll kill you just like I did Rachel. Yeah. Which even if that's your only evidence, that's powerful in front of a jury. He said it in the middle of trying to do it again a half paralyzed woman saying this man who was convicted for sticking a butter knife in my neck and trying to kill me said i'll kill you like the other one that's i mean a jury's mike man he's already in prison it sucks though i don't want i it's tough it's tough i kind of don't want it no that's what i mean i kind of don't like don't like that. It's not a lot of evidence.

No, it's really not. There's really no evidence here, although that rubber ball thing is really freaking me out. It's fucking horrible. That's fucking me up here. I'd love to know. I mean, I'm sure there'd be, you know, like the facial. Right, the bruising. Not the bruising. It's the pinprick, you know, the hemorrhaging and shit like that.

Hemorrhaging, that's the word. I'm sure you'd get that sort of thing. I don't know, though. Maybe if it was just enough to make them unconscious and then put them in there. I don't know. That's what I mean, because it's not strangulation. It's suffocation.

I don't know if it's different. I don't know. I don't know. Especially that. I'm not positive. It's so weird. They should get wife number three back to say, he strangled me, too.

And he was like, I'll put this ball in my mouth right just like rachel this was just strangling yeah uh so they file first degree murder charges against him which is uh rough there yeah and uh they have viola as a witness and they're telling him we got your wife and it doesn't sound good so january 24th, he decides to plead no contest to premeditated first degree murder. Well, in the in the what they're calling a strangulation and drowning of his wife. Now they're saying it was a strangulation. That's that's what the official thing is here. The he says that, you know, he's originally charged there.

He's going to enter a plea agreement where he's going to plead no contest, like we said. And then the state would recommend that his Kansas sentence run concurrent with his New Mexico sentence. That's his deal. It's not going to be consecutive sentences. You'll serve him at the same time. What if it's longer? It's going to be longer. It's first degree fucking murder.

That's my point. God damn it. But the 12 years he's in New Mexico won't not count. That'll count toward his 50 or 40 or whatever the fuck he's got to do here. It's a stupid distinction. It really doesn't matter. It sucks. Either way, you're going to prison for a while.

Decades. Probably forever. You're in your 50s. Fucking decades. Yeah. You're in your 50s. Fucking decades. So the state requests that during this that the sister-in-law of one of Rachel's brother's wives, this is, a woman named Brenda, who was her best friend at the time, Rachel's best friend,

be permitted to give a victim impact statement at the investigation here. Oh, my God. Now, during this hearing. Oh, Jesus. 15 years later. Now, he objects on this. He objects on the basis that the Kansas Constitution Victim's Right Amendment is some sort of prohibits such statements.

But they argued that the sister-in-law is not a member of the victim's immediate family. And the trial court concluded that fucking close enough. Get her up there. She married someone who is. It's been a long time. So this is who we got. of the victim's immediate family and the trial court concluded that fucking close enough get her up there she married someone who is it's been a long time so this is who we got you heard sister yeah enough been like 20 years we got this is a long time she says so rachel gets her due here a little bit quote rachel was my best friend as well as my sister-in-law we shared a bonding together that we could talk to each other and tell each other anything and that would be as far as it went this is a bonding i wish i would have never made because this is the way uh this may

be why she's gone today she swore me to uh to secrecy not to tell my brother her brother my husband for fear he would go after uh philip and be hurt uh and hurt himself or get into trouble about it it was my eldest son's birthday when she died. She was going to come over for his party later that day. Anthony and my daughter Anita were looking forward to her being there. My husband was driving his mom and dad to Wichita to get his dad's retirement started and they were going to her house. They were going by her house to come back to our house with her.

But with the highway patrol, but the highway patrol told them they had to turn around and go identify her body. When Rudy called me and told me she was gone, I remember a chill coming over my body and a feeling of numbness being all being going all over. It was like a knife had been placed, a knife had been placed into my body and I had my heart torn out. A day that once meant so much happiness with the birth of our first child is now a day of pain. I can't even remember if my son's birthday cake got finished that day or not. There's always a certain sadness for him that day now, too, and he's scared to be happy because of what else marks the day. Rachel didn't deserve to die that day.

She was so young and had two children that she loved. She gave so much of her own life, too. She was a loving, caring person who had cried for help from being abused from Philip. And just like so many others never received any. And her life was taken. Her death has caused a void in all of her family's life that she'll never be able to fill again. Basically, she comes out and says that, you know, she'd been told that there was shit going on. And now she feels guilty about it she feels guilty

because she didn't say anything she feels guilty that he might have found out that she said something so she feels like maybe this is our fault or whatever it was worse because it was 78 and that was the culture don't say goddamn word 1978 in the middle of kansas i don't think you got involved in people's shit like that no it was just different punch her he'll for sure punch me that's what i mean or it's just none of your business none of your business i mean that's that's how shit was back then and so domestic violence was not i don't know somehow it wasn't as fucking it wasn't as a big a deal just people were more accepted it happens it's fucking insane you get two people living in the house man somebody's gonna eventually hit somebody

yeah it's just the way i mean jesus people you ever she got a mouth on her you heard her talk that's crazy but that's how people talk i don't know he instigates shit and he just he won't cut the lawn and then when i tell him cut the lawn and you know he calls me a cunt and then it's on like kick him in the dick for that man so then she turns to him and she says phil all i've got to say to you all i've got to say is for uh you know for years now this family went through sheer hell because of your actions i watched a family that was once real close together be torn you took the life of wonderful wonderful person and you used her kid you used her kids to hold her with you and that was just unjust it was cruel until this day to this day you still use your kid you know someday someday

you're going to have to meet your maker when that happens i'd love to be there because i want to hear your explanation why i want to hear you say what you've done you know rachel uh you know rachel was she was going to be a nun she went to school for that and then she decided she couldn't take the last vow so she left the school and married some guy years later after she graduated out of high school with me and she had jennifer and that marriage got rocky and she met you uh and we tried to talk her out of marrying you because of some circumstances and she decided to marry you but through the years through the years several things happened and it ended up in her death and now that lady she has laid there in her grave for years not being able to rest knowing that the guy that

killed her was out free uh she was bonded by the grave and you were free this wasn't fair her children had to grow up without a mom and she uh and she could have she could have done so much for those kids uh she says you must pay for that you know if i was a judge life in prison that's still your life you have a life she has no life so she just goes off and just fucking reams him a new fucking asshole she hammers him with bible shit for paragraphs i mean she goes on and on she said not that it's a bad thing she says his dad he is he doesn't even realize what's going on every day because he's so sick his His mom, she passed away. I watched the lady cry every day for Rachel, how it broke her heart when you done what you did and all this shit. I mean, it's it's fucking big time, man.

Finally, when finally you do pass on from this world, may your soul rot in hell forever. So, yeah. Your honor. Yeah. Thank you. Have a good one here uh so the uh the basically the state didn't recommend a consecutive sentence the state recommended the uh the uh you know the concurrent sentences the court hears this and the court says you sir may certainly fuck off life sentence consecutive to New Mexico.

Ouchy. I don't give a shit about your agreement. I'm the judge. All right. Eat dick, sir. Talk to them about it. Yeah, basically, she gave this statement, and he goes, you know what? Fuck this guy.

That's literally what it was. That's what it was here. So he appeals this. He's like, bullshit. This is what's supposed to be. Only appeals the sentence on the consecutive concurrent up your ass, whatever the fuck it is here. He says that she's not a victim. This woman's not a victim.

She's her sister-in-law. She doesn't give a fuck. This is bullshit. This is based on a bullshit victim statement. No, they basically say that although although she's not she was it's up to the basically it's up to the sentencing judge the discretion of all this shit okay of relevance of what they're saying relevance of the person relevance of everything he gets to make that call he gets to make what's the word i'm looking for judgments that's right judgments it's weird that they let a judge make judgments but his whole job is to decide whether shit is in the best judgment of everybody so yeah it's

fucking ridiculous so the court was required to consider the extent of the harm committed by him impact statements and testimony of the victim's family both immediate and extended may in the judge's discretion be relevant in making this determination and ascertaining the extent of the harm caused by the by his conduct even impact statements from non-family members may be relevant you know what it's relevant relevant when the fucking judge says that's okay yeah that's when it's relevant the statute is not clear they do say family members but it's they also say judge has a lot of leeway here so what are you going to do because suppose she's fucking adopted or suppose she didn't have a family but she lived with the well that's not her immediate family you can't

say that no you can't say legally who's impacted most by people nope you can't you don't know that so it doesn't matter there's no there's no scale anyway. No. You can't put a value on it. No, not at all. So they said the court does not. The record does not show that the court improperly considered the statements. It's all fine. Affirmed. Eat dicks back in Kansas, my friend. That's that.

So May 2019, this year, he's appealing. Got a habeas relief thing going on here. The district court issued an order directing him to show cause why his petition shouldn't be ultimately dismissed. The whole thing? Yeah, because they said you have to have something or else it's just tossed. You can't just have habeas things with no new stuff. You can't just say, well, just file it because it's there. It's not the way it works

you have to have something have them review it you know yeah over they've looked it over yeah he he asserted the possible grounds for the court to uh do this to stay on here he's allowed to file a void judgment or a legal sentence at any time he may this he he uh is also actually innocent now he's saying he pled but he's saying i'm actually now, he's saying. He pled, but he's saying, I'm actually innocent. He's saying the prosecutor knowingly used perjured testimony in order to gain the conviction. He's now saying, I never said that about Rachel. And the only way you think I said it was from Viola, who you suborned perjury with.

You fucking knew she was lying and put her up there anyway. Whether she's lying or not, like I i said it's real hard to go it's the problem is as a defense attorney cross-examining a woman who's saying that you said that you can't say so he didn't say that and she would say yes he did and he would say well while he was saying that she'd go yeah he was jamming a butter knife in my fucking throat saying why aren't you dying faster at that point is that you want to talk about or the point when he was strangling me which one which one of those do you want to discuss right now you would feel that tear because that's not even that's not even a cut that's a no that thing tears a fucking butter knife oh god you might as well jam a wand dart in her fucking neck i've had a fucking uh uh cortisone shot before and that's a

needle but it goes through everything back there and that is the tearing and ripping and sliding it's you feel every fucking inch of it no good here uh so he's saying that the prosecutor knowingly misled uh misled philip here into taking a plea and that the prosecutor knowingly knew uh was defective based on the false testimony of what he's saying and that the prosecutor knowingly knew uh was defective based on the false testimony of what he's saying and that the court didn't have the authority to level that sentence on him too uh so the district of courts district court says no you're good you're fine they said no you dismissed it they said you are totally fine they're allowed to do that shit prosecutor didn't mislead shit uh basically

prosecutor got testimony that was brought to him from another state and used it and the woman came in and gave her testimony what are you supposed to say you're fucking lying that's what it was just because it benefited him doesn't mean he's gonna throw it out what prosecutor says that's a little too good for my case i'm not using it no that's you don't do that if someone comes to you with an amazing confession you're gonna fucking talk about that i really like a challenge so i'm not going to use that one yeah uh also he apparently filed a post-conviction relief uh late and he's trying to say that that the prosecutor caused like impeded his quote impeded his efforts to comply with the procedural rule like he's really grasping at straws here trying

i don't know why trying to parse between a consecutive life or 12 years or concurrent who gives a shit you're in there forever bro it's gonna be when do you think you're getting out who is paroling this asshole i hope nobody i fucking hope nobody if they do they could break his hands on the way out that's what you do if you put your hands out like in casino yeah break them up with a fucking hammer and then you can leave how's that you learn how to strangle people with your feet you stupid asshole laurence fishburne and let him just yeah put on rings and pummel people's faces fucking hammer his hands until they're just useless piles of flesh make them look like bags of bone bit those little wieners in the barbecue

yeah back there at the at the winter you know back on at the at the snowball the winter snowball god damn it so yeah he uh uh this is fucking ridiculous he says that uh he's saying that the a lot of habeas corpus legal bullshit it doesn't fucking matter basically uh he claims actual innocence they say there's you have no new evidence of that at all all you have is you going she's lying and the prosecutor made her say it. That's that. You, sir, again, fuck off. Back to jail with you. So he's got a life sentence here and then another 12 years in New Mexico.

So he's got it going on. Life in Kansas? Is that 25? Life in Kansas, I believe it's 40. I think it's 40. Minimum. Minimum. So he's fucked.

Either way, 30. It's over. He's shit out of luck. Even if it's 30, that's 42 years plus 40. He's dead. 85, 90 when he gets out. Yeah, he's dead as fuck. No one's paroling this guy.

He's going to take a while to parole. So yeah, he is there. He is in a Kansas prison at the moment because his New Mexico sentence is over. Yeah. Grace, that was over 15 years ago. So he's good there. And now he's rotting in Kansas for the possible strangling. I think he killed his wife.

Let's be realistic. Yes. Without the other two, without all the others, without a disappeared wife, a rubber ball, a attempted strangling, a butter knifing, all this shit. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Counting on second wife and him having longevity and a great life, and he's still with her today. Wife number one, listen.

Accidents happen. Weirder shit's happened than that. You're getting away with it, because I can't put you in prison forever. Who knows? Maybe she had low blood sugar and got lightheaded and fucking fell on the top. At that point, you'd have to give him the benefit of the doubt,

because there's no evidence. Who knows? Maybe she's even the most dedicated suicide person, because nobody's ever drowned themselves that's impressive i'd be hard that's tough that's not normal no anthony jr on the sopranos tried to do it and that's tough stuff that's hard to do uh instinctually you try to live you want that's the thing your body fights to live it's a weird weird fucking thing i don't think anybody's ever submerged their head underwater not on purpose with it i don't think anyone no i don't well first of all you'd have to keep holding it so

as soon as you're passed out you just float back right would float right back up to the top again so it'd be very hard to do you'd have to weigh yourself down a lot of people jump off the george washington bridge and uh that water's shallow and they don't realize it yeah and you go down to the bottom you think you're gonna get hit in the in the water and knock out you go to the bottom and your feet stick in the mud and then you drown yeah that's perfect that's horrible that's amazing that's a bad way to go that's some nasty that mud is gross not good you know it's that river is fucking disgusting gross those rivers i that would be i would be the most curious to drain. Obviously, it's impossible because there's oceans and everything there. But if you could drain the Hudson and the East River and just look through what the fuck is in there.

Just comb it and see what's in there. Hundreds of years of shit. How many corpses? How many? How many guns? How many guns? Guns are crazy. Thousands.

Thousands of guns there has to be in there i mean that's that for so long you just threw the fucking gun in the river that was like you go over the bridge and toss it in the middle how much did like cars that were like that person disappeared holy shit they drove into the river we had no idea like holy shit how many things they would find it would be awesome it's kind of like here when the like the people go tubing on the salt river that dries up and people go like hey look at the sunglasses like what guns and corpses that'd be keys to an astro van that's nuts wow they haven't made these in 20 years it's keys to a pontiac aztec oh look and it's a pontiac aztec they just left it here it's still in it nobody wanted it

so uh it's in the parking lot in the parking lot so they didn't even have the wherewithal or they didn't even care to drive it off they just threw the keys in the water fuck it just tossed it there you go i don't even want it anymore it's just parked by the shore i hate this car and i don't even want anybody to be able to drive it you know what i'm gonna do the world a favor in the water fuck you survivor oh man hutchinson kansas and uh mr parks you are a nutcase yeah that brings us to now that that's uh that guy's put away yeah that brings us to another exciting edition of the prisoner dating game oh we love the prisoner dating game it's been a a while. Yeah. And we just needed it.

I feel like it was a good palate cleanser. We've had a lot of crazy shit going on lately and weird murders. Let's have a nice little 20 minute palate cleanser. God damn it. And find the most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes in the prison system today. There's a lot. Let's do this. Let's first look at Patriciaricia oh oh patricia we're gonna start out with bachelorette number one jimmy here we go bachelorettes first here uh patricia patricia is in a new mexico correctional center

very nice right there she is 44 years old has red hair and green eyes yeah she's five foot nine and a half she's a tall drink of water. Yeah. She's a little taller than you. She's a little pale. Oh, she is very... Green eyes. Yes.

Oh, that's a horrifying girl right there. You just described like a key man villain of some kind. What the fuck is that? Snakes and shit coming out of her head. Green hair, red eyes. That's the scariest thing I've ever heard. I don't want to see her. That's the scariest person ever.

You just invented a comic book villain. I did. Green hair and red eyes. And pale skin. Yeah, and pale skin. It's like a fucked up clown. So she describes her heading as, quote, single ginger princess.

All right. There you go. Tell me more. She is ginger as fuck, quote, single ginger princess. All right. There you go. Tell me more. She is ginger as fuck, too, boy. She is the whitest skin and the reddest hair I've ever seen. Oh, wow. I kind of like her already. She says, quote, I have a fun, loving, outgoing, wonderful nature.

I have fun in everything I do. Life is too short to be stuck in the past all the time and for so long. Yeah. That's a really funny way to put that. The girl behind bars definitely wants to forget some shit. Life is too short to be stuck in the past all the time and for so long. Well, it's also too short to be stuck in jail for so long. So why the fuck are you in there, stupid?

Jesus Christ. She says she's a fun mom. Uh-oh. There she goes. I love to ride horses. I love the outdoors. It's all very ironic considering. Thank God she rides those outdoors.

The other thing is I love how in prison they like to talk about what they do on the outside, which you're in prison. If you're reading this, you can't not say, what are you talking about? You're in prison. You don't love horseback riding. What do you like? Is there a particular lunch that they give you that you like? Every one of these people also says, I really love the outdoors.

It's because you fucking miss it. I look at it through a window and it's beautiful. I love to cook and to clean and it's no fun if you have to do it alone. Okay. I guess he wants to cook and clean with someone. I love the rodeo. Separ it alone okay i guess he wants to cook and clean with someone i love the rodeo separate sentence totally i love to cook and clean it's no fun if you have to do it alone period i love the rodeo period just a statement she's so horny loves the rodeo i'm she she really wants a man this is your kind of girl yes she is i'm an honest open caring heartfelt

rockin country girl who loves to be with her family i am beautiful and loving wow there you go so that is that is bachelorette number one patricia i like okay patricia single ginger princess i gotta call her patty pat no i my dad's wife girlfriend fiance his number eight uh my dad's number eight's name is pat i don't even know what to call this girl i can't call her patricia so she wants to be called that's a tough name all right so many syllables how about alicia bachelorette number two it's gonna be a cia at the end of these names jimmy i'm sorry alicia yeah uh alicia is 37 years old uh brown hair and green eyes not the other way around she's five five so it's more in your wheelhouse

as far as height goes she's not going to be way taller than you yeah her projected out time is uh september of 2021 oh that gets you some time to get ready and prepare? Get prepared. Yes, she's single. She's not bad. She has no children either. She says, I am 37 years old that has had, whoa, I am a 37-year-old that has had more negative than positive experiences. Oh, no. Yikes.

What happened to fun-loving, rocking country girl? You're going to hear this in the first date? The whole everything? The first sentence. She said, my life has been more sad than happy like that's i feel like this is your kind of girl dude this is a death i don't like this shit it's a song about things i just hate everybody she's saying she's sad i want to be hateful not sad i want to laugh at how shitty people are i don't want to be sad about it sucks and you're like yeah it does she's like i'll tell you everything sucks. And you're like, yeah, it does. She's like, I'll tell you through my experience.

You're like, I don't want to have experiences. Plus, you're not funny. I don't want to experience that. But I stay true to my character and remain resilient in the unknown. I'm extremely laid back and open to almost anything. All of them are open to anything. I'm in prison. I'm open for whatever.

Is it not prison? Great. Sounds good. I'm spontaneous and adventurous and can be serious as a heart attack or goofy as a child. Okay. I'm unique, original, and have had the same circle of best friends since middle school. Well, I'm out right there. I'm done

too. Bye. Who's number three? I haven't grown at all since I was 11, is what that just says i've had zero character growth since i was 12 how many people i talked to i went to middle school with fucking zero there's a couple who i don't hate or i've you know whatever but i i don't know i don't keep track it's not my same circle of friends since middle school i got one yeah and it's only because he rediscovered later on does shit for me but these people like stayed friends that's crazy she's 37 they know everything you ever did oh yeah

why you're in there the same circle of friends you know what i mean since middle school her whole life i'm loyal supportive everything starts out with i'm this that and this and that and this every sentence she has the same sentence structure that's what fucking annoys me you're saying hey listen prisoner your sentence structure is terrible no thank you you're a terrible author fuck you're a bad writer so uh and consider a true friend to be there through good and bad i'm brutally honest on what i will and won't accept from the from the door what i don't know what that means from From the door? Maybe she meant the store. From the beginning? Oh. I don't know. From Jump Street?

Some are intimidated by my independence, but in the end, I know I can always do for me. That's good, because you're in prison. I enjoy meeting new people from all walks of life and making great memories to last a lifetime. I enjoy reality TV and gossip magazines. I hate you. She is not doing anything positive for herself. I don don't like her it makes me feel better sometimes yeah i love music uh rock rap pop alternative r&b i'm really into stand-up comedy laughing can be a remedy for the worst days he's gonna like she's a big dane cook fan i have a feeling i feel like she hasn't made a

decision on what she likes she likes fucking everything she used to like dane cook now she's like that chris dilly is hilarious moving on it's really like guys in tank tops in five years i'll get to you with the next fucking terrible comedian who's got chest hair out and uh and an audience full of fucking 19 year old girls when they were 30. That's not okay. Yeah. So anyway, I enjoy staying active, aerobics slash sports. I love football. Go Eagles.

By the way, she's in Pennsylvania. Yeah. Oh, no. She's in Florida. This one. She likes the Eagles anyway. She's from Pennsylvania. Reading mysteries and memoirs and love stories.

Watching movies that actually have a plot. She's fucking snobby about movies. That's okay. Learning new arts and crafts and self-improvement. I have gotten nothing from her. No. It's everything. She likes everything.

She likes everything. She's into everything. She's independent, yet she's loyal, yet she's got the same circle of friends. This is how you have negative situations and negative experience, because you don't know what you like. Because you're into anything. Right. I'm open to whatever. I just don't want to stay home. Yeah don't know what you like. Because you're into anything. Right. I'm open to whatever.

I just don't want to stay home. Yeah, that's what it is. When you're in prison. Learning new arts and crafts, self-improvement skills, helping others with advice, resources, past experience, and cooking. I'm looking for someone with a good sense of humor. There we go. An open mind who is compassionate, good-hearted, real, laid-back, caring, judgmentally reserved, and who has a strong will. I dislike...

I don't know this you might like. I dislike liars, golf, commercials, the Dallas Cowboys, narcissism, and country music. Okay. All right. She's not bad. And someone who has no drive in life. So Alicia... I mean mean she hates the cowboys and golf so that's right up your alley that's some country music i mean she's right we can just

give her that and fucking move on i think she hasn't heard the right ones yet that's what i think she's had experience and just called it good because she heard any country music bachelorette number three is page page is 27 blonde hair blue eyes five foot six oh never been married and uh no children okay so that's something for you hey there my name is forgot about this hey there my name is page but my friends call me barbie what oh she thinks she's hot oh boy what do you think she cute i forgot about this lady when i wrote this down i'm 27 years old no kids and never married i'm outgoing fun and adventurous they all say that i have ocean blue eyes that will take you far away a smile that will brighten your life and fair skin that demands attention

fuck you demands attention but your skin you don't have much of a tan there i need to stare at what the fuck how bright are you that it demands attention or how fucking bronze are you always and a fair skin that demands attention that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Where is she at? Is she in Texas? She is in Alabama. Yeah. Yeah. Fair skin.

Is she a Nazi? I don't know. Is she saying she's like a neo-Nazi? Does she have a clear complexion? Blue eyes. Yeah. Maybe she's saying she's a Nazi. What color hair is she?

Blonde. Yeah. She's a Nazi. She might be a Nazi. I think she's a Nazi. She might be somebody's old lady. My ideal day outside of work consists of anything outdoors. Yeah.

Okay. I'm very open-minded and I'm not afraid to try or experience something new. Yeah. At this chapter of my life, I'm looking for someone who I can connect with and really have a good time. If it leads to more, then be it. If you feel like you're that someone that can take me away, Jimmy, wink, wink,

feel free to write me. I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to meet me. I'm sorry, I was just looking in the mirror. For you to see my, quote, ocean blue eyes that will take you far away. My ocean, just say no.

She was the one who had like eight pictures posted too and like one was like posing no hand on her hip i'm like you're in jail she loves herself someone's gonna fucking fist rape you any second now what are you doing stop posing don't poke that out don't make it worse somebody'll poke it yeah you don't see dudes in male prisons like sitting there like fucking bending over making poses and and shit like, hey, come somebody take my asshole. No fucking be cool about everything. Squatting over a floor like you can see the outline of his cock. Mind your own business in jail.

Now we have the bachelors. Oh, Jimmy, the bachelors. Here we go. First, we have Edrick. Yeah. Edrick is a Kansas guy for our hometown murder today. He's a he's a man, obviously born Edric. Yeah. Edric is a Kansas guy for our hometown murder today. He's a man, obviously. Born in 1983.

Yeah. So he's right around your age. Right there. Two years younger. Yeah. He's a black gentleman. Hell yeah. He's a Christian.

And he's in for felony murder. Oh. Oh, boy. But his possibility of parole in 2020. Oh, my God. What? Could be right around the corner. Right around the corner. Oh, my God. What? Right around the corner. Right around the corner.

How long has he been in? I don't know, but he's going to get out very soon. I mean, he might have been in for 20 years. He might have done it when he was 18. Here's the other part. Possible parole. No, that's what I mean. He's up for parole.

Possibility of parole in 2020. But I mean, even then, he could have been done it 20 years ago. He could have got 15 to 20 and been up for parole 72 year old man you have no idea well he's born in 83 right he could have done it when he was 18 oh my god james he could have shot someone robbing a liquor store when he's 18 and or whatever shot it doesn't matter done something and then he's ready to get out or killed his parents when he was 14 so you never know never know. Hi, I'm Edric. Yeah, you are. Hi, Edric. Yeah. Do you want to be my friend? Kinda.

Not particularly. Jimmy says, kinda. You said that like a gay dude who's not sure about it yet. Kinda. How gay are you? I don't know. Kinda. Kinda.

You're here for murder. You curious? Kinda. Do you want to be my friend i have an idea yeah the idea is i have an idea colon by the way like he's about to make a statement this is a poster here the idea is to find a new uh to find a few attractive female friends get to know them spend time on the phone with them pay for visitation cost and after i get parole choose one to establish something exclusive with this man wants this motherfucker wants to start a harem where a bunch of chicks yeah do his bid with him and then when he gets out he has like a fucking bachelor style reality show where he gives one of them a rose or a shiv or a fucking.

Will you take this pack of ramen noodles? This means that you're mine forever and you're my betrothed. What the fuck are you talking about? Put that. I get that. That's his plan. Don't put that on there. Will you take a sip of my hooch?

I made this in my toilet once. That would be the thing that they have to take. He's saying. That man thinks there's so many women out here that they would participate in possibly being dumped. One of a bunch? By a murderer. What the fuck is he talking about why would he say what woman would be like oh i'll show those bitches right now i'll show him i'll no one's taking my man away from

me i have an idea i have an idea you guys act like idiots and fucking you know do stupid shit that ruins your life and then i'll pick one of you and then i'll ruin their life and the rest of you can go on dear n NBC, put this on the air. This is what this is. He's looking for. I have an idea. It's like I'm going to get a reality show. Jeff Probst, where are you at?

Fuck me, man. Edric, come on. I'm not a gang member or a thug. I'm 36. I'm a Wichita, Kansas native native. I'm a sinner, but it don't. But it don't matter because God forgave me for my crime. I'm actually kind of curious with dating girls that are white.

Why? Because, dude, look at what he does. He's like, I don't know what he, he'd be good at making forms. Like he's got a colon up here. Here he has like bullet, he has like points. Like he's presenting an outline. Because colon bullet point. And he has bullet points.

He has like outline points. Quote, i never had a real opportunity to date one i think i could stay away from the drama he's saying that white girls are easier to deal with because black girls will call you on your shit that's what he just said right there he just said i'll stay i think i could stay away from the drama fucking you know what that's a sad reason to go after anybody uh i like attractive white girls that's really all you needed to say i i'm interested in white girls why because i think they're attractive i'm attracted to them good enough i could sleep with one the rest of it yeah super weird and then the last bullet point the closer the heart wants what the heart wants so i just my dick is hard for white girls and that's it no fucking problem we're happy with

that uh we're happy with that. We're happy with that. Do whatever you want. Fuck whoever you want. If you like me, you can write me. Hopefully you live in the Kansas area or somewhere nearby because I'm more than, I'm more than likely stay in Wichita, Kansas when I parole smile. P.S.

You don't have to be any weight. P.S. Whatever. I'll take a thick girl and i'm cool with that shit because i'm i mean i might have some thick ones and then some thin ones because i'm going to collect five six of them and then pick one if you remember exactly what i do right i'm a fucking asshole i'm a lunatic who thinks that i'm going to be able to accomplish this wow uh number two bachelorette number two i don't know how we'd even need to go further than Edric here.

Richard. Yeah. Richard is 40 years old here. He's white. Under religion, he has listed, will explain. That sounds annoying. That's weird. He is convicted.

Scientologist. His release dates, August of 2024, some time to get to know him. And he is convicted for aggravated criminal sodomy. My Christ. How did you find the worst of the worst? You know how long it takes me to find these? Most of them are just like, hi, I like reading in the outdoors. Please write me. Like, that's 90% of them.

Like, you really got to sift to find the crazy. Somehow you found the manifest for Con Air. The worst fucking people. Who's sitting in 3C? Aggravated criminal sodomy. You're up next. Cyrus the Virus. Come for your interview.

Just aggravated criminal. That's his nickname. My name is Richard. I'm 39 years old. White, brown hair, blue eyes, and I stand six foot eight inches tall. Jesus Christ. Son of a bitch. That's a fucking lot of sodomy.

That's how you get sodomy. It's a long sodomy. Wow. While in prison, I have performed in several Shakespeare plays. Okay. There's a lot of sodomy in Shakespeare. There is. You know how that goes.

A lot of kissing dudes. Oh, yeah. Participated in the safe harbor dog program so rehabilitating abused or neglected dogs so they do a lot of those they do in prison because it softens these dudes up a little bit whenever they put a pet in there everybody kind of goes oh look at that little guy and they don't stab someone standing next to them yeah it just takes a way to control population it takes a little bit of the edge off of everything. We've been to the airport where they have Phoenix Airport. One thing that they do well at Sky Harbor is each terminal has just this old lady walking around with a dog to pet.

It's literally the dog to pet. That's the thing. Her whole thing is just, I have this dog. It's got a little vest on. It's the Sky Harbor dog. And it's just to cheer people up. Run your fingers through this. And everybody's sitting there all grumpy and they look down and be be like oh hey you're gonna get pet him on what's his name and they stand up and they're in a completely better fucking mood just because it's not a dog

like oh it's that dog gonna shit on right it's just a nice dog that the lady's got on a leash it's fucking great my fingers smell like dog slobber yeah that's what i'm saying i'm in a minimum custody jesus christ and have and have a job outside the fences which is awesome an ag sodomy what aggravated criminal sodomy he's not getting out for five years and they let him out of the fucking place wow keep him in his sodomy ass in there just keep his dick in there and he's six eight looking for your ass shit uh wow. Wow. Or your mouth. Something. I want to have a pen pal that I can relate to and that won't stop writing me. Between the ages of 19 and 43.

Very specific. That's scary. I will respond to any and all who write me via snail mail. Thank you and may the gods bless. So that's him there. An aggravated sodomite for you. He hits plural God. Yeah, because we'll explain.

Yeah. Yeah. He's got a whole other religious structure he's working off of. The man's into Zeus and everything. And Zeus. Oh, boy. He's a zoo and a Zeus. Right.

All sorts of weird. So number three, bachelor number three is Nicholas. Ah, Nicholas. He's born in 1979. You know, pushing for i just turned 40 uh he's seeking women men and friends yeah so just anybody hell yeah so he uh oh my goodness uh he is convicted of aggravated indecent liberties and aggravated indecent solicitation okay i don't know what that is his release date is quote indeterminate so my whatever those are they're bad this sounds like he's got like psycho problem it's not good yeah and he starts out with hello ladies and gentlemen

jesus christ he's a weird oh yeah hello ladies and gentlemen period yeah not even a fucking comma i am a 39 year old man looking for french i'm talking about grammar the guy's in prison for aggravated fucking indecent liberties aggravated weird shit he's in jail for shit i don't even know they don't even have a real charge for it and we do two crime shows and all i do is read court documents i have no idea what that is that tells you that it's bad they're hitting in with some vague charges with an even more vague sentence jesus christ indeterminate indeterminate you weirdo you vague fucking weirdo hang on to you a bit we're just gonna make sure nothing happens to you i'm five foot nine tall and about 225 pounds have brown hair and eyes

a goatee and mustache and wear glasses i believe i'm kind caring respectful compassionate honest intelligent and funny person not i'm uh just i'm i'm a christian who believes in accountability integrity and forgiveness mostly forgiveness i appreciate it if everyone forgave me let me go i mean accountability and integrity you can do whatever but forgiveness first and then we'll work on the rest of it i enjoy reading writing cooking playing video games and hanging out with my family and friends so i enjoy reading and writing now because the rest of it i can't do my favorite book series is the wheel of time by robert jordan some additional authors i enjoy are michael crichton tom clancy dean koontz robert ludlam and terry brooks he reads shit like a

fucking like a 60 year old woman on a plane right like an old midwestern lady on a plane he buys his books uh in between buying pasta sauce yeah and and ice cream because that's the aisle from the groceries those are the only ones they have. Those and romance novels with the dude with flowing hair on the front that used to be Fabio. What's the matter? Danielle Steele isn't impressive? That's not anymore.

So weird. My favorite movies are Hobbit, Lord of the Rings trilogies, Marvel and DC Universe based, and Adam Sandler comedies. He's the worst person alive in 2019. I'm not even getting near the mic because I have to lean back for that. In 2019, one of his likes is Adam Sandler movies. Post click. Are you fucking kidding me?

movies post click fucking kidding me he's a fucking 40 year old man who loves marvel and dc bay shit and adam sandler comedies not even the fucking dramas he's like spanglish fuck you i like fucking what's the one where the guy hits him in the nuts over and over that's right all of them jesus christ you know what else i like uh every book that's in every grocery store and they were like you know adam sandler those books he lock him up and go indiscret indetermined you basic ass bitch you're a basic ass bitch you like fucking adam sandler movies and whatever's for sale in the grocery store to read you basic motherfucker you my favorite games video even these are fucking basic shit final fantasy god of war prince of persia assassin's creed you fucking jerk off do something interesting otherwise same shit if he was out in the last

he'd be telling us about uh grand theft auto and call of Duty and every else fucking popular thing. Fuck. So I'm currently in a treatment center receiving therapy and rehabilitation for my sexual criminal offenses. They're trying to attract people. Wow. They couldn't even put me in a jail. They had to put me in here where they can medicate where they can go so you don't want to fuck that when you see a hole you don't have to put your dick in it right they hold up a picture though do you want to fuck this and he goes yes and they put the car battery right back on no no no no sorry that's just a pig with a knife wound. You don't want to fuck that. See, you have problems.

Jesus Christ. That's literally a farm animal with a knife wound. I have been here for over 15 years. It's my goal to be reintegrated back into society by the time I turn 42 years old. Jeez, what's a weird goal? My father and stepmother look forward to spending the remaining years of their life with me. What the fuck? I look for saying I have a family.

I look forward to being a successful and healthy member of the community. This isn't the parole board. You're trying to attract women. I desire corresponding with women and men between the ages of 28 and 48. I'm not currently seeking a relationship. However, I'm interested in women if that is what you if that is what you seek right uh so you know if a woman wants to be in one with me i'm fine i'm interested in men and women oh dudes you know the drill don't write

to me don't write to me what's wrong with you like what's up bro this is what the fucking giants have been up to you know they're eight and eight this is bullshit but don't like fucking want to fuck me i'm in here for sex shit clearly i don't want to fuck then he gets picky i'm attracted to women with red slash blonde hair blue slash green eyes this is why you're in jail because you're too weird and picky and you have some weird little sexual thing that you have to do right just be open to whatever and then you won't end up in prison for it i'm like little women parted right down the middle that's my check dudes are just like i don't know i don't really have a type though they never get busted for sexual weird shit

because they're like i don't know they just they don't have like i got oh there's one with exactly the things i've been fantasizing about they're chasing after them with their my type my type goes yes yeah that's my type willing he should be like i like women who i don't get or alive have a pulse and are willing to write me and are not fucking freaked out by my sexual crimes right uh that are non-judgmental funny honest and intelligent i accept all races and religions for friends that's nice of you i'm a writer with a novel that's been approved for publication by a prominent company which is why i request donations to assist my career if you're interested in

contacting me please write or call me at blah blah blah i won't tell you because fuck this guy so thank you is the end so that's the three and three wow but you know what i'm not sure about either i'm going to give you a bonus one of each okay because this is it's a tough one picking it's a tough one so far so far i think you think you like the country music girl, probably. I want to pair Patricia up with this guy because he likes him like her. Yeah. But he's going to kill her. Yeah.

That man's going to murder her. I feel like Single Ginger Princess is leading the pack for you right now. That's the one I want to go on a date with for sure. Yeah, okay. So far, that's his winning. Well, let's see. We have bonuses. Bonus, Regina. Yeah. Regina is, let's see here.

She's in Illinois. First time, comma, incarcerated for murder. Oh, boy. This is my first murder. No intention of doing it. Apparently, she's saying it was an accidental murder, not intentional. Okay. First time, comma, incarcerated for murder, period. No intention of doing it apparently she's saying it was an accidental murder not intentional okay first time comma incarcerated for murder period no intention of doing it period uh we'll talk about it if

necessary oh boy oh it's necessary as fuck i would say i have been working most of my life love outdoors enjoy cooking been around being around family and friends most of my life brought up as a muslim changed my christian uh changed my religion to christian love the love of jesus i'm outspoken i'm an outspoken person barbecue at the beach is one of my favorite things to do life can be good as long as you're good to it do not use drugs nor have i had the desire to the cardinals are my favorite team this is illinois so she means st louis cardinal uh are my favorite team. This is Illinois, so she means St. Louis Cardinals are my favorite team. Sometimes I watch basketball, just

don't have a certain favorite team. Looking for women or men to write, looking for a good friend when I get out. I would love to be married to a good Christian person or older person that's settled. I'm 58 years old. She's a little old for you, Jimmy, but you know what? She's just mature. She's willing to talk about it.

She's willing to talk about it. She's open. Anything else that you want to know about me, please feel free to ask. Looking for someone who's honest, doesn't lie, loves to travel, respectful. I love to spend time with my mate, getting to know the other person and getting to know me as a person. Love will come later. I always believe don't say the word unless you mean it. To me, love is an action word. Show me.

It doesn't matter about your past. Just relate now and the future. I would like a healthy relationship and marriage. I enjoy being a person who broadens their minds. Blah, blah, blah. God first and the rest will follow. Don't use drugs. Continue to be yourself.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She's preachy. Was that just an En Vogue song? That was too much. I think it was. There was actually one person who quoted Kendrick Lamar in their thing. They had a big Kendrick Lamar quote. I'm like, you're in prison.

Stop. Don't do that. Here we go. And then finally, here's Tim. Tim, quote, I am a 40-year-old man who grew up in Missouri. So that right there, if that doesn't get you on board, I don't know what is. I joined the Army when I was 17. There you go.

And I served until i was medically retired in 2009 i have lived all over the world including hawaii afghanistan virginia south carolina oklahoma kansas kuwait and germany i retired as a staff sergeant i deal with ptsd from combat and it contributed to my crime i will be released in early at october 2020 and plan to move to the omaha nebraska area to be around my family. Watch out, Omaha. Oh, boy. I enjoy all kinds of music, fast cars and motorcycles. I hope to meet someone who can help me pass my time here and give me something to look

forward to, Jimmy. Yep. I have three children, ages 21, 16 and 11. I really plan. I don't know. I really plan to travel when I'm released. Who knows? Maybe just by RV.

So he's good. We say you and this guy call up in an RV. How's bro? And listen to some. I like him. Although I'm terrified to piss him off and disagree with him because he clearly snaps. Well, he might just he could just snap for no reason. He might have a mental issue.

So what do you think here? We have Tim Regina. Yeah. Nicholas. Nicholas is the aggravated indecent liberties. Jesus. We have the aggravated criminal sodomite, Richard, number two. Then Edric.

Possibly the worst of the group. Edric, who likes white girls, as you remember, and has to explain why. He also felony murdered. Then we have, as you might remember, we have Paige. Yep. Paige was the open-minded, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Vapid. Vapid, yeah.

We also have the 37-year-old. What's her name here? Alicia. Alicia. 37-year-old. Best friend since middle school. Terrible. And then finally, your single ginger princess, Patricia.

Oh, my Patricia and my Tim. I'm really struggling between these two thanks jimmy i think i'm i'm going gay for a soldier yeah let's go tim tim it is tim tim is the winner let's go hero tim what you've won is a dinner for two very romantic very romantic in the ramen it's well it's it's you're gonna have your own private cell uh it's basically a conjugal visit uh a trailer and see what happens you never know what's gonna happen that is prisoner dating Well, you're going to have your own private cell. It's basically a conjugal visit trailer. Shrimp. And you'll see what happens.

You never know what's going to happen. That is Prisoner Dating Game. Boy, oh boy. That is our show for that small town murder. Sorry, we had to do that just because it's fun to do once in a while. It's so much fun. If you like that show, please let us know. Get on Apple Podcasts, that purple icon.

Give us five stars. It doesn't matter what you say. Say're following instructions following directions say these guys are forcing me to do this yeah it helps it drives us up the charts on the business end we don't know why but it does so do that please also head to shut up and give me murder.com for all of your crime and sports and small town murder needs all of your merchandise which we have a ton of new merchandise we're gonna have a full slate of live shows to announce very very soon so you probably want to get on there so many and wait for that it's a whole year's worth and uh get them early because they sell they seem to be selling fast lately thank fucking god so thank you guys for doing that uh that really helps a lot

so uh get on there uh do all of that and And also, like I said, the merchandise on there. And follow us on social media for those tickets, too, because we announce it immediately when we know on social media. So you could probably get those tickets a little early. And so do that. We are at Murder Small on Twitter, at Small Town Pod on Facebook, and at Small Town Murder on Instagram. So definitely do that. And if you want to be one of our producers a goddamn fucking hero of ours unbelievable person we can't say it any more plainly than that people who go

out of their way it's a free show that we do obviously you don't have to pay anything for it but these people say you know what i just i think these guys do a good job and they deserve something and they reach into their pockets and they they they pay money they don't have to pay because they feel like that's the right thing to do. And that's fucking amazing. That's what the level of character that shows and what a good person you are is fucking awesome. It just does. And we're going to shout these people out every damn week because they keep the show going. They're the lifeblood of the show.

So without further ado, well, I got to tell you where to go first. You can go to Patreon.com. Where? Patreon.com. Okay. Slash Crime and Sports. There it is. Oh, or head over to PayPal.

Use our email address, which is CrimeAndSports at gmail.com. Yes, it is. And you can be one of our heroes, one of our producers, one of the donors to the show. Without further ado, Jimmy, I mean, you know what? I'll be quiet. You shove a rubber, you know what? I'll be quiet. You shove a rubber ball in my mouth and I'll be quiet while you read them off to me. Hit me with those names. This week's executive producers are Greg Zadonik, Jeff Rash, Shailene Wilson, Holly

McKee, Emma Stroll, or is it Emma? No, that's Emma. Is it Emma? Emma? I think it's Emma. Emma Stroll. Okay. I think so.

All right. I'll buy that. What did I do? I think it's Anna. Anna Stroll. Okay. I think so. All right.

I'll buy that. What did I do? Susanna Platt, Tanya Volanek, Stephen Rood, Deborah Pinto, Brian Bodner, Jordan Bennett, Marion Kahn, Rhonda Allred, and Mel Thacker. Thank you so much. What the fuck? Yeah. That was amazing. Thank you so much.

You are... You guys do some things for us. You are the executive executive producer this week. You're the director this week. Yeah, you are. You're the Dick Wolf this week. You get your own screen with a credit. Dick Wolf.

The walking around money. You guys are so sweet. Thank you. And you helped me get my daughter to urgent care and then the emergency room this week. Thank you so much. Other producers this week are Crystal Smith, Kenneth Garrity, Hannah Phillips, Colin Luck or Lukey, Frank Tripaldi, Zach with no last name, Ken Thompson, Jocelyn, no last name,

Ty Torito, Toribio, Lindy Simmons, Andrew with no last name, Monica Fabry or Fabra or Farb? Farb. I don't know. It might be Farb. It could be Farb. Farby. What do I know?

I watched football a little bit. You know nothing. I know nothing. Marie Nuss, Allison Walsh, Alex Hooper, Rachel with no last name, Katie Hoyum, Kevin Mathis, John Lash donated both ways. Thank you so much, John. Thank you. Jen White.

Sarah T. Peter Alley. Elaine. Yeah. Aaron Taylor. Pam Adams. Carrie. Carrie Abbey.

Rebecca. No last name. Shaug Lockie. Locked. Loked. Smog. What? Huh?

Smog locked. Where did that come from? I think. Jason Stewart. Miranda Reinhart, Chris Kelly, Melissa Velo, Rebecca Thompson. No, Becca Thompson. Sorry. Logan for Haley Stratton. I guess it's for Haley Stratton.

And Logan donated. Well, thank you, Logan and Haley. Yeah, that's right. Nikki Bumberly? No, Dumberry. Bumberry? I think. What?

Bomberry? I don't know Dumberry. Bumberry? I think. What? Bomberry? I don't know what I wrote. Bucker Brush? Michaela Leiford. Josh Wilkinson. Jennifer Portillo. Jennifer Hollow. Dizzy Olive.

Dizzy Olive. Yeah, I think that's right. I doubt that's somebody's name, right? It might be. It could be. Justin Eske sound like it. Could be. Justin Eskew, Lisa Mazajewski, Richard Wenzel, Jake Kokesh, Lee Straub, Jenny Licari. Yeah? No?

Josh Wardle, Wendy Castaleguilian. Yes. Yep. Owen? Lewis or Luis Reyes? Brian Borer? Lauren Groff? Kaylee Godwin?

No. Yeah, Goodwin. Or is that God? Damn it. He wrote it. Aaron Sayer? Kelly Noel? Wo-well?

Well? Noel? I think. What the fuck is wrong with me? Tyre, Tyler, that's an L. You are awful this week. Tyler Garner, Angie Massey, Zach Carano, Tiffany F., easy enough, Dylan Ely, Marcel Del Corpo, I think it's Corpo. Shandell Whitney, Shandell, she has the daughter that's in the back, overseas. Jennifer Sperone, or Speroni.

Courtney Cox, probably not, but a different one. Chris Call, Kasuka Dragon, Kaylee Fitzsimmons. Zachary, no, yeah, Zachary Hale. Tasha Watson, Alexandria Frazier. dragon kaylee fitzsimmons zachary no yeah zachary hale uh tasha watson alexandra alexandria frazier tory jordan amanda miller luna alvarez matt burleson cammy no cammy rock jay bonnie jay with the the letter uh morgan z uh ray lamin lamin man uh chrissy chrissy dabbler uh what did that one say cla Claire McGrath. That's what that says.

James Fraker. Jacob Haverfield. Kaylee Green. Is that right? No, it wasn't. Kelly Green. Kelly Green. That's what it is.

Jesus Lord. Colin Chapin. Chris, CRX CRVs. I imagine they're fans of Honda. Honda? Yeah. The Honda enthusiasts? Right.

Amy Spicer. Angela Placentia. Shane Plumer or Plummer. Marissa Cole. Mike Ortiz. Honda? Yeah. ollie albert olden derp problems there yep heidi cartledge wallace uh callie callie johnson ronnie kumar kristin bellinger tommy no teddy teddy christie ted cyrus and angel angel eicher eicher uh megan brewbaker rachel misenheimer andy soto cory waffles no cock waffles i don't know what that that's not real cory waffles damn it cory waffles lauren rodino uh my new it's my new uh i'm cory waffles i'm gonna check in the hotels under cory waffles that's my new alias looking for me i'm cory waffles cory waffles nice to meet you little buckaroo uh emily richardson john herndon whitneyndon, Whitney Lulee, James Sutton, Janie Magnus, Chad Clements, Christina Hansen, Robin Anderson, Jess Hill, Jeremy Phillips, Tony Francisco, Pauline Robinson, Marissa with no last name, Crystal Fisher, Chelsea Joseph, Ashley Vietri, Corey Cohn, Ryan Benner, Jennifer Jones, Justin Inwood, Anne-Marie Taylor, Michaela Sawicki, Julie Haley, Robert Phelan, Christine with no last

name, Corey Prada, Jesse Hartman, Tay with no last name, Jacqueline Donaldson, Tracy Mitchell, Holly Davidson. That's probably a play on words for Harley Davidson. Maybe. Probably not. Maybe they just like Holly. How's it feel to be Davidson, though? Everybody calls that motorcycle a Harley, though.

That guy Davidson got fucked. Sounds like an old man who doesn't know. Why is that riding around them Holly Davidsons all over the damn place? Somebody from New Orleans. Making the damn noise all through the neighborhood.

I can't sleep for nothing. These damn Holly Davidsons running all up and down the streets all the time. Everybody rides a Harley, though. Nobody rides a Davidson. No, no one rides a Davidson. That's true. That's a good point.

Tracy Mitchell, Rachel McDougal, Michael Griggs, Peyton Meadows, Reagan Schalkley. Thank you very much, Reagan. You're fantastic. Thanks, Reagan. Brad Leswick, Jasonason birchfield i think christopher our cement our cement uh samantha supan james martyr charlie hawk mark foster richard l lc uh peyton reiser amanda lamb gary howard gary howard thanks gary thanks gary appreciate you brother and all of our patrons you guys are so fucking great to us thank you thank you so much everybody for

that uh everything that you guys do for us it's honestly amazing and uh like i said just above and beyond the call of duty and we really appreciate it you're all a bunch of holly davidson's thank you you're beautiful and uh you really are you're the best and uh thank you for buying all the live show seats just coming to see us live we we really try to put on the best show possible we you don't even know man we fight to make sure the venues are good we don't just say like oh that's where we got booked fine we're we literally we go into it what's the what are the what what kind of phone calls about it literally where we where we go over and we say well what kind of chairs does that theater have we don't think that venue's right what about that that neighborhood's in it that's a terrifying neighborhood why do we don't want our people

to have to go there i'd rather play some more smaller and play two shows and do a better shot and do a big show where people are terrified and it's a terrible place and they have folding chairs and shit like that we don't want we just we really want you guys to show up be comfortable and then we want to give you the best fucking show you've ever seen. So, I mean, it's obviously, it's generous because we want to give you the best show we've seen, but it's selfish because we want you guys to leave and go, fuck, I can't wait till they come back next year because I'm going to be the first one to buy tickets.

That's what we want. That's the goal. We want to be so good that this isn't a scam. We're not trying to like, let's get them to come once and then we'll take all their money and scam them. We don't have to worry about it. Fuck them. No, we're like, to like let's get them to come once and then we'll take all their money and scam them we don't have to worry about them no we're like we want them we want you to come back and see us every fucking time you're in town we're in town that was the most in character perfect fuck them hey fuck them man you were really i had a pile of money in front

of me i got their money buddy i'll take it now fuck take it now. Fuck them. Fuck them. So, yeah. So thank you guys for everything like that. And what if they wanted to thank you, Jimmy? How do they get a hold of you? You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. And the feedback that you guys send me, I read all of it and I appreciate all of it as well. So where can they find you? Absolutely.

You can find me at JimmyPIsFunny or just copy and paste my first and last name from the show description and do it that way. It'll probably be a hell of a lot easier than trying to spell my last name and you can find me in other places or wherever you want. But Jesus, that said, it's been a wild week again. As usual, we have a crazy case next week. By the way,

we will not be taking off for Thanksgiving. We will 100% be releasing not only an episode, but a Patreon bonus episode on Friday as well. So if you got a day off on Friday, you're going to have yourself a bonus episode for the $5 and up Patreon people and also an episode. And it's a crazy episode. It's one that we've done. We did it some live shows.

We're going to put that out there because it's just a wild episode. We're retiring it from the live show rotation. It's time for everybody to hear it. Great. And it's fucking wild. And Jimmy won't remember it because he was really drunk most of the time it was being said. I don't remember TV shows I just watched. That's what I mean.

So that said, everybody, until next week, it's been our pleasure. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Small Town Murder early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.