Small Town Murder - #390 - Too Fat To Kill - Ramsey, New Jersey

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

This week, in Ramsey, New Jersey, a woman hears her boyfriend being murdered, over the phone, but by the time police get to him, it's too late. The focus lands on a family member of an ex, but that man says that he couldn't possibly have committed this murder... because he was "too fat to murder"! This gets even crazier at trial, including lying family members, wiretaps, insane internet searches. And, of course, a parrot!!Along the way, we find out that parrots are a sign of impending doom, that you shouldn't stop for a burger, on your way to do a murder, and that no one is too fat to be a killer!!Hosted by James Pietragallo and Jimmie WhismanNew episodes every Thursday!Donate at: patreon.com/crimeinsports or go to paypal.com and use our email: [e-mail] to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports!Follow us on...twitter.com/@murdersmallfacebook.com/smalltownpodinstagram.com/smalltownmurderAlso, check out James & Jimmie's other show, Crime In Sports! On Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Wondery, Wondery+, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Small Town Murder early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. What if you married the love of your life and then stood by them as they developed 21 new identities? What would you do? This Is Actually Happening is a weekly podcast that features extraordinary true stories of life-changing events told by the people who lived them. Listen to the newest season of This Is Actually Happening on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Small Town Murder Express. Yay!

Choo-choo! Yay, indeed, Jimmy. Yay, indeed. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you, folks, so much for joining us all aboard the murder train. Climb on, and we have a really weird story for you today as usual some

very just some some things that fall into place in this story where you're like this isn't who how is this real this can't be real and it is and it's amazing we will get to it quickly though before we get started shut up and give me murder.com get your tickets for live shows for the rest of the year most of them a lot of them are sold out. More than half of the remaining shows are sold out. Next show that has tickets remaining, August 12th, Chicago. Come strong, Chicago. Come see us there.

And then also Dallas, Atlanta, Philly, Charlotte, and D.C. are still available. The rest are all sold out. So thank you. Get in there. ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com You definitely want to head over to Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports. Get all your bonus material. Anybody $5

or above, you get access to the entire back catalog of bonus stuff. Hundreds of episodes there. So many. So many. And then every other week you get two new ones. This week is no different. This week, what you're going to get for Crime and Sports, which you get access to, nothing to do with with sports nothing to do with anything except it's hilarious we're going to talk about stairway to stardom oh yeah which was a public access show on in new york

from the late 70s to the early 90s it was like a kind of like a star search type of show like an amateur talent show yeah ish and we're going to play clips from it and we watched it uh i've never seen jimmy laugh as hard in his life so it's gonna be amazing maybe we'll give jimmy a stroke we'll see i can't wait to talk about that that's gonna be amazing and then for small town murder oh it's back everybody it's that time again the prisoner dating game is here oh baby the violent felon edition where i choose four young men and four young ladies who have one thing in common, and they are currently incarcerated for violent felonies. And Jimmy's going to pick one of them, one of each, based on just their profile and what they put on their dating profile from prison. So just their words.

And then afterwards, once he picks them, we'll find out what terrible things they did and who they are and what kind of bad decision Jimmy made. It's so much fun. We cannot wait. Patreon.com slash crime and sports get in there right now and do that and keep an eye out in the next couple weeks for your stupid opinions. Our new show about all things reviews of everything

will make fun of it. So much fun. Can't wait for that. But now right this minute I think it's time, everybody, we sit back. Let's clear the lungs, everybody. What do you say? It's time to get into this wild story because there's a lot of it. Let's all sit back and let's all shout. Shut up and give me murder.

Let's do this, Jimmy. Okay. Let's go on a trip, shall we? We are going all the way to New Jersey. Oh, baby. Here we go. So not far from where we, whence we sit at the moment. So it is about an hour to New York City, Ramsey, New Jersey here.

About 35 minutes to Denville, New Jersey, which was our last Jersey episode, which was Never Gonna Pig You Up. And we remember that one because that was the pig mask and all that. That was a pretty memorable episode. And population here, about 14,801. Okay. So small, it's a little quiet, kind of small, suburban town. A lot of nice houses there.

Median income here, $122,165. Doing great. Median household income, so very high. Median home price, you need that money because median home price here, $623,800. Holy shit. Yeah, anything within that hour from New York City bubble is very expensive because you can work in New York City and live there, and it just spreads the costliness here. Quick history of this town here. The most noteworthy local historical site is the Old Stone House, which is old and stone.

What did it do? They built it from stone and hog's hair. Gross. I didn't know you took hog's hair and made it a stinky, gross, disgusting part of your building, but apparently you did. I assume they used the hog's hair in the mortar or something. I don't know. I got to go check my house for hog's hair now because it's old, so I have no idea. Strong hair.

No clue. It became a tavern during the Revolutionary War, though. Legend has it that Aaron Burr came here and drank here. Murdering some bitch, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah. came here and drank here. Murder on some bitch, isn't he? Yeah, yeah.

Well, he came and drank, and then it opened up in 1960 as a historic site. The place was named after Peter J. Ramsey, who was an 1800s landowner who sold the land that became the site of the railroad station that the town grew around. So there you go. Reviews of this town, very quickly here. There's not, people like it here, I guess. They seem to like it. So there you go. Reviews of this town very quickly here. People like it here, I guess. They seem to like it. Here's five stars.

Okay. Athletics has also provided me with a supportive social network. They acted like we were in the middle of a conversation. Also, this is, what are you talking about? Five stars. Also, there's this. That's the craziest sentence ever. Imagine talking to that person, looking around like. Five stars. We, there's this. That's the craziest sentence ever. Imagine talking to that person.

Five stars. We're rich. Yeah. Did I have a stroke and mishap this conversation? What happened? How did we start here? The people I have met through athletics have become some of my closest friends and mentors. As part of a team, I've learned the value of teamwork, leadership, and communication.

I have also learned to develop trust and respect for my fellow athletes, coaches, and mentors. What do they play? Gotta do that. I don't know. These social skills have helped me to develop strong relationships with people from all backgrounds, which has given me a greater understanding and appreciation of the world around me. What does this have to do with the town?

Right. Nothing. This is an advertisement for city leagues. That's just an advertisement for play high school sports. You'll feel better. Five stars. I love the fact that Main Street has everything, with exclamation point, from different places to eat, clothing, to even a psychic, exclamation point. Oh, wow.

That's amazing. Everyone is so kind in this town, and I feel so welcomed here. All right. Here's four stars. The police seem to have nothing better to do but usually are great to the community. All right. Than what? Than what?

Yeah, if you don't have a lot of crime, I guess that's good. Right? I don't know. Nothing better to do than what? Than what? That's what I mean. Also, you start a sentence with, and also this. We've never met you before.

And then this person says, nothing better to do but doesn't give a than what they're doing. So, this town is frustrating already. It really is. Here's three stars. People are nice around here. You will have certain people that aren't so much nice, though. Yeah. So, some people are nice and some people aren't.

Yeah, that's the world. Thanks a lot. Appreciate it. That's being alive. Wow. Things to do here. Uh-huh. Not much.

Otherwise, you're an hour from New York City, so it's kind of like... It's all right there. Yeah, you can go anywhere. But the Don Bosco Food Truck and Music Festival is here. Bosco Food Truck. Don Bosco Food Truck. It takes is here. Bosco Food Truck. Don Bosco Food Truck. It takes place at Don Bosco High School.

Okay. There you go. All the good, most great festivals that you have a lot of fun at take place at a high school. Yeah. Jesus. Admission's $5. It's a benefit for the, some shit, the Don Bosco Father's Club, whatever that is. It's just a bunch of dads. Just drinking. go fishing later i don't know all right those are dads and socks and

flip-flops just here there's nascars on in the background like what what's going on the guests are asked to bring their own lawn chairs to this family-friendly event. They have 17 gourmet food trucks, vendors, and live music. You can also expect a beer, margaritas, and sangria bar. And there's pony rides, a petting zoo, knocker ball. I don't know what that is. I don't know, but I'm curious. A bounce house, face painting, sand art, and more. Holy shit.

And some of the food trucks that'll be here. Angry Archies. Oh, yeah. Gotta have that. Gotta have Angry Archies. Uncle Sal's Egg Rolls is my favorite one, though. What? Uncle Sal.

Hey, you gonna make a batch of them famous egg rolls for Christmas Eve or what? Of course I am. What do I fucking look like over here? Of course I got egg rolls. They're gonna be fucking delicious. Crispy on the the outside i put fucking pork in them you're gonna love them i'll bet they got like spaghetti they're filled what's going on uncle sal's egg rolls his egg rolls got rigatoni in them it's nice this is a ziti egg roll i made it's gonna be nice for you it's a farfali um and also and i also love the uh now this is a zeppole which is a you know a dessert thing but the place is just called johnny

zeppole which sounds like a guy hey johnny zeppole nice to meet you it's good all right good to meet you it's johnny zeppole just a guy that makes zeppoles we call him johnny it's johnny zeppole how you doing? I'm good. All right. And taxi cab burgers, which sounds like a guy with burgers out of his trunk. He makes a grill out of his cab trunk. It is $5 to get in, but kids under five are free. Oh. And free parking.

So, holy shit. Come on out here. That said, let's talk about a murder, shall we? Let's do it. Let's talk about, this is just weird stuff. Okay. Let's start with some people to talk about. Let's talk about a murder, shall we? Let's do it. Let's talk about this is just weird stuff. Okay. Let's start with some people to talk about. Let's start with a lady. Why don't we?

Let's start with a lady, a lady named Stacy here. Stacy Aites is her A-T-E-S is her maiden name. Stacy Aites. She'll become Stacy Walker, and then she'll have another last name that we'll talk about in a minute here. But Stacey was raised in a military family. Yep. Her dad's a Marine, as we'll find out here. She was born on a naval base near Huntsville, Alabama.

Okay. So her father was a Marine at the time, and later on she'll be married to a guy named tony brooks and we'll talk about that but uh stacy graduated from high school in georgia later lived in st louis she moved to illinois to be closer to her parents in the 1980s she got a job with a pharmaceutical company there okay she was working um while she was living in st lou Louis, she married the Brooks guy, Tony Brooks. And they were married in Illinois. By 95, she got transferred by her company to Texas. So they moved down to Dallas to work for this company, to Arlington, actually, but by Dallas. And Brooks says, quote, everything should have been great in Texas.

But? Well, there's a big, yeah, there's a huge hanging ellipses on that one, right? What happened? He said, we had a new house. She'd been promoted. I had a good job. This all sounds good. Yeah, sounds great. Oh, you know what? First happy ending ever in Small Town Murder. You know what? Everything's great. They thought about being violent for a very brief amount of time, and then they just decided to watch TV and be fine. Tired in Arlington, and now they're... Everything's good. He's a scratch golfer.

He's pretty good. He's gotten really, in his retirement, he's really been working on it. Invested some of it in small ownership of the Cowboys. Shockingly, though, he said, but one day when I returned from a golf outing in Memphis, she was gone and I never saw her again. She just left? She just left. Peace out. This is too nice. And gone and I never saw her again. She just left? She just left. Peace out. This is too nice.

And quote, I never saw her again. Didn't even like, didn't leave and go to a friend's house or move into her own apartment. She just bye and disappeared. So I gotta go. That seems like there's got to be a problem with that. What the hell happened? He said she also accused him of abuse after the separation as well um she accused him of abuse that he says he didn't he says no there was no

abuse now um so then she meets in the far another pharmaceutical guy a guy named paul there's no other way paul dunksack is his name is that right d-u-n-c-s-S-A-C. Yeah. Maybe it's Dunsic, but it's Dunksack. No, that's Dunksack. That's Dunksack, yeah. That's Dunksack. Pauly Dunksack over here. Unbelievable. That's quite the handle.

He is born in 1966, Paul Dunksack. Quite the family lineage. Wow. The rich history of the Dunksacks. But no, I mean, they have a nice family, too. That's the thing. He comes from a good family. I would assume they pronounce it Dunsack, probably.

You know? Yeah, I know. I'm not Pauly Dunksack, but yeah. It's the alternative. Yeah. Even if you, I'd pronounce it that way, no matter how it's supposed to be pronounced. I'd probably go with a long U. Yeah.

It's Dunsic, actually. Oh, okay. Sorry. But anyway, Paul is a successful guy, very smart guy. He's making a name for himself in the pharmaceutical industry at the time. He graduated Rutgers University. Again, Rutgers comes up. Is that right?

It came up in driving sports. We were talking about that. He had a Bachelor of Science degree from Rutgers University College of Pharmacy in 1989. He attended Rutgers Graduate School of Management and the Long Island University of Pharmacy. Very East Coast. Got a very Northeast education. Yeah. The College of Pharmacy.

It's a pharmacy college. Yeah, I'm a pharmacist. So 1992, he founded the Hospice Provider Group, which is a Westfield-based buying group that helps hospices purchase products at reduced prices. Awesome. So, yeah, it's a pretty cool company. And from 95 to 2001, he works for the Mount Sinai School of Medicine, spending the last three years as director of corporate learning. Wow.

So old Dunksack is a smart, smart guy. He's got a real life. Wonderful, too. Oh, he's a nice guy, smart guy, knows how to make money, knows how to use his field of expertise to make money. Comes from a very nice family of very nice people as well. You know, seems like Paul's in for a great life. You know what I mean?

Absolutely. It's going wonderful. He does marry Stacy in 1999, though. Okay. So he marries Stacy. He founded in 2001 a consulting firm. So he's founding businesses all over, and they're all successful, too. Right. So he'sries Stacy. He founded in 2001 a consulting firm. So he's founding businesses all over, and they're all successful, too. So he's making money.

A firm called Vision Group, Inc., which provided training for the pharmaceutical industry. It created product launch programs, training manuals, and medical education programs, generating of two and a half million dollars a year wow yeah so he's got a job he's got like three companies yeah and he works in an industry where he sees a problem and he and he fixes it yeah by creating another company that makes him more income he's solving he's solving more problems than vanilla ice this guy is incredible well vanilla ice will tell you he'll solve it but he actually won't let's be honest dj revolving and what what's uh yeah what's that gonna help that's what i mean so your dj's revolving it i'm i'm still i'm still trapped in a car that's on fire can you i you said

if you have a problem stop revolving it i'm telling you a very specific problem, and you're telling me, well, my DJ's got this one. Well, you know what? He's busy revolving it. You're DJ's still revolving the hook. Yeah. He's busy revolving it. He's not going to help. You're just dancing.

You're clearly not going to help me. This sucks. You're a liar. uh paul lectured in more than 10 states i assume without any references to solving his any problems or djs revolving or anything like that he's he's just solving it and getting paid that's it and he was an adjunct professor at the arnold and marie schwartz college of pharmacy i don't know what that means but that is awesome awesome. It sounds awesome, though. Yeah. I think it's just a professor who doesn't work there every day. Okay. I think that's what it is, but I never went to college, so I have no fucking idea.

You're telling me he's a professor that gets paid and doesn't have to show up? What is he, in the mob? I think he just comes in every once in a while and like, yeah, it's got a no-show job. It's got a no-show shore job. That's what they do. No-show professor job? This guy's better than the mob. He's like Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs. He's just got out and they got a no-show professor job? This guy's better than the model. He's like Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs.

He's just got out and they got a no-show job for him. So one of his friends here who worked with him said he's exceptionally bright. He's a super pharmacist with an expertise in virtually every area of pharmacy. Wow. Wow. He's doing great. So they end up having two children, Stacy and Paul. Yeah, I would too.

Yeah, so they have two children. I'm not going to leave their names out of this. They have a boy who is born in 2000 and a girl who's born in 2001. So that's who they have here. They divorce in 2003, though. Is that right? Yeah, they get a divorce. It's not working.

They do have a big, beautiful house. I'll believe it. Yeah. It's a 3,500-square-foot house on an acre of land here. They bought it in January of 2003 for $780,000 in 2003. Holy fuck. And when they got divorced, it was listed for $1.1 million. Yeah.

Three years later. That's a $2 million house today at least. It's, oh, easy. An hour from the city, too. Forget about it. It's got an in-ground pool, a gazebo. Oh, for Christ's sake. A private backyard that's nice.

It's expensive. It's a palace. It's fucking expensive as shit now. So the problem is neighbors have been hearing a lot of arguments there up until they separate. They said they would hear fierce arguments going on in the house. The house neighbor said when it was for sale, it was for sale nearly a year without any buyers. And at that point, they said the the dunk sacks fell victim to a real estate broker named Susan Silok, who ended up pleading guilty to robbing homes that were listed with her. She would rob them.

She would steal shit from the homes that people were selling. She used her key to just go in and take shit. It's genius until they go, hey, there's shit missing. Who has a key to this place? Oh, us and that one lady? Okay, well, it's probably her. At that point, your genius scheme comes crumbling. I mean, the ability is genius.

Of course you're going to be able to. You've got access to all these people's shit. Can't do it, actually. Right. The carrying it out is crazy. Yeah. Somebody who knows them here said there were a lot of domestic violence and temporary restraining orders with this family. A lot of.

A lot of, they said. Wow. The Ramsey police chief, Brian Gurney, said, I've seen his name on police reports. Our police departments have been here in the past on investigations of domestic disputes. Oh, boy. In January 2004, Stacy filed assault charges against Paul, saying he slammed a door on her foot.

She withdrew the complaint as part of their divorce settlement, though. So this is what's going on with these two. The divorce filings included several claims of extreme cruelty against one another going both directions. Oh, God. Paul said he slept in his son's room out of fear for his safety. He said his wife blamed him out of fear for his safety. He said his wife blamed him for her Bell's palsy. She's got Bell's palsy.

Oh, dear Lord. Which is what Jim Ross has if you're a wrestling fan there. It's your face will droop and she has jaw problems and migraines. He also claimed in the filings that she abused prescription drugs, wouldn't work, and refused to have sex with him for months at a time. That's one way to get a divorce. I mean, that's something. He said her verbal abuse included telling him he was a loser and that he would amount to nothing. Babe, we live in it.

You don't work. Look at this place. Well, either way, he's amounted to plenty. He's got like three companies, good jobs. He's got an in-ground pool and a nice yard. I don't work. Look at this place. Well, either way, he's amounted to plenty. He's got like three companies, good jobs. He's got an in-ground pool and a nice yard. I don't know. It seems pretty good. Two kids. You don't work.

Yeah. Even if you did work, we're doing well. She was working for a while until the Bell's palsy. I'm paying for all this shit. Yeah. Obviously, I'm doing great. Yeah. We're doing great.

But I think when they bought it she was working and then she had the bell's palsy and that was the problem so but still they were they were making ends meet here so um he said that she threatened to falsely accuse him of physically abusing her and sexually abusing the children also oh what the fuck she said i'll tell him you're you know molesting the kids uh and the strangest thing here he said that his wife would quote claim she was so ill that she needed to sleep diagonally across the bed with ice packs and earplugs as well as the plasma television on and the fan god it sounds great so yeah it's a i have to sleep in another room you don't understand i'm sick so I need the most comfortable sleep on the planet.

I need it to be diagonally. How tall is she diagonally? Yeah, right. I'm 6'4", so I know about diagonal sleeping. Yeah. And if you're not that tall, you don't need to sleep. You can stretch all out and you're fine. You stretch your- I'll be honest, though.

At 5'8", in a diagonal sleep is incredible. Oh, it's great to just, because you can roll either way at that point, and it's nice. But if you have a partner, you can't really do that, unfortunately, for her. So she said that he exhibited erratic, threatening, and harassing behavior when they were alone and with their children and in public.

So that pretty much all the time. Yeah, yeah. When we're alone, when we're with the children, or when we're in public. That's all the time. I think that's all of it. Right. What doesn't that cover?

Yeah. She said that he verbally and physically assaulted her over trivial matters. Okay. Their divorce. That's the quote from the filings. Their divorce was finalized in January 2005 with them splitting custody of the kids. But there was a big fighting, a lot of fighting over custody, acrimony there.

He had them during the week, and she got them on the weekends, which makes no sense because he works during the week. So I don't know how that works, but whatever. Well, I mean, but they're in school during the week too, so that's pretty awesome. Yeah, but they said too he would serve as chaperone for field trips and all that kind of shit. Like he was a good dad, they all said.

He spoke about being a pharmacist at the father's day presentation as well oh that must have riveted a bunch of four-year-olds tell me more about tell me more about counting pills tell me more about counting pills so how do you charge the insurance company how do you know how do you know what the split is on that for the copay like is there a lot of four-year-olds asking a lot of can't think of a more boring fucking job to explain to four-year-olds than pharmacists how do you identify the group number yeah it's wow cool okay and then do you have to staple that paper bag is that a is that a rule or do you guys just all just like to do it you staple the receipt right to it that oh that's actually okay that's a rule or do you guys just all just like to do it you staple the receipt right to it that oh that's actually okay that's a law okay do you guys put the staples in the

stapler before you guys open or after you guys close wow okay is that like an opening thing or a closing gig no shit uh one of the teachers said he was a very doting dad both parents were very involved and like many divorced parents they made special efforts to compensate for that so that's good um that's great uh he ends up um uh being friends with a couple of people here um as one of his friends said that he was troubled by everything that was going on paul was and he talked a lot about how it was affecting their kids and all this type of shit. So after the divorce, Stacey doesn't do very well. No? Yes, not really.

By 2006, Stacey's unemployed and has a lot of health problems from the Bell's palsy and has a lot of financial difficulties because she's unemployed and sick. And divorced. Yeah, and on the other hand, Paul, he met another lady. Yeah, he did. He met a woman named Lori Adamo. He meets her in 2005. They start dating in 2006 and get engaged with plans for a 2007 Kate May wedding. Right now.

Isn't that nice? So as you can, Stacy's very happy for them, obviously. I'm sure. Yeah. She's thrilled. So they decide, Paul and Lori, his new fiance, decided that she and her son should move into Paul's house in Ramsey as well. Come on in.

Yeah, no, you guys, this is going to be great. You guys traipse around the yard. We'll take pictures and Stacy will be fine. So she's got her ice packs. It's okay. New mom is moving in yeah no problem so this was august 24th 2006 this was supposed to go on here this is while they're attempting to sell laurie's house off okay so they're gonna benefit financially from that yeah they're gonna get that too they're going to benefit financially from that. Yeah, they're going to get that too. They're getting a house and then they already have a house. Sell a house, have a house.

So from August 8th to August 23rd, Paul stayed at Lori's house. Okay. Paul stays at Lori's house. Now, Paul would go to work from Lori's in the morning, stop at his house in Ramsey in the evening that they're going to move into. Right. I don't know why they were staying in the house that they're going to move into. Right. I don't know why they were staying in the house they're selling. That's a weird thing. You'd think he would move out of that house.

But he's probably terrified they're going to get robbed by the real estate lady. We stay here until the closing. We stay here until the fucking ink is dry because if we leave for a second, she's stealing our shit. He's paranoid by now. How much do you like your TVs? Let's stick around. Holy shit.

So he'd check in the evening he'd check his email um and then he'd also another thing he had to do while he was there check his email and feed his parrot jimmy get the fuck i swear to god there's a parrot in this story a parrot another parrot we don't look we don't look for murder birds. We really don't. We don't look for these birds. They look for us. Some sort of strange omen, some sort of weird apocryphal up on a mountaintop thing. Every time we stumble down a dark path, there's a bird just going murder, murder.

It's always there. It's called a curse james the curse of the murder birds we're here so he's got a parrot and then he'd go back to laurie's for dinner and to spend the rest of the night so that's his off work stop there check the email feed the parrot let it squawk for a while talk um because the ramsey house was unoccupied except for those few days you know a few hours of the day paul left the air conditioner um he didn't have the air conditioning on and he kept the doors locked so okay you know so no one can get in so let's enter stacy's father into this Edward Ronald Eights. A-T-E-S. Wow. So, Edward is, by the way, 5'6", 285 pounds.

Uh-huh. And- Say again? 5'6", 285 pounds, and 60-something years old at this point in time. Oh, my. His initial is E, and his last name is Eights. So, his name spells Eights. Yeah. And I'm only bringing this up

not to pick on him for being fat, but it will be very relevant later in something he brings up and it's the whole point of the case. So trust me on this one. Trust me, trust me, trust me. Okay. So Eats is Stacy's father. I'm just calling him Eats from now on.

Eights here, Eats is Stacy's father. Okay. I'm just calling him Eats from now on. Eats here, as we said, or Eats, as we said, he, you know, Stacy's dad, he was in the Marines. He joined the Marines at 17, served in the military for 16 years. Jesus. So he made a career out of it and then worked in the government for a total of 30 years. Oh. So he's been busy. He studied computer science and worked as an airborne radar technician and also studied Vietnamese for more than a year during the Vietnam War as well. So he was a Vietnam guy.

He's a Vietnam Marine. He got an MBA in 1982. So he comes back, gets his degree. He received several merit awards in his job and retired in 1992 as the civilian equivalent of a one star general. Awesome. Yeah. So he spent, you know, 40 years in the military, 40 something years in the military. And so he retires doing very well for himself.

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at a drug-addicted teenager, but local deputy Ruth Vogel isn't convinced. She suspects connections to a powerful religious group. Enter federal agent V.B. Loro, who has been investigating a local church for possible criminal activity. The pair form an unlikely partnership to catch the killer,

unearthing secrets that leave Ruth torn between her duty to the law, her religious convictions, and her very own family. But something more sinister than murder is afoot, and someone is watching Ruth. With an all-star cast led by Emmy nominee Sanaa Lathan and Star Wars Kelly Marie Tran, Chinook

is available exclusively and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. And everything's going on there. He got along with Paul very well. They got along while Stacey and Paul were married. The only disagreement they

had was they jointly invested money in a golf course. Uh-oh. And the investment failed. Paul lost about $20,000 on it. So it wasn't that big of a deal for him. He didn't really give a shit. But Eats needed $250,000 to keep this golf course afloat in Okeechobee, Florida. I looked at it and my brain melted. That's what happens when people see my last name, I think.

But that's right there. Okeechobee, Florida there. Beatchobee. Be Chobie, Florida there. Piatra Chobie. Piatra Chobie, Florida. So that's 2003, $250,000. Paul would not give it to him, probably because he was going to divorce Stacey. So that's a lot of money. And I put $20,000 into this.

I lost, too. Yeah, and a friend of theirs said nobody talked about it for years. The $20,000 wasn't enough money to even be an issue for Paul. It wasn't that big of a deal. At one point, though, Eats and his daughter Stacy tried to transfer $625,000 from Paul's bank account. That's a big chunk of change.

That's way more. That's a lot of money. But it failed. You're trying to make your investment pay off. Yeah. The bank called Paul and he said, no, don't authorize that transaction. That's crazy. So they said later on that Edward assisted Stacey throughout the entire divorce.

At one point, August 2nd, 2006, so this is at the time when him and Laurie are planning on moving in, Paul and Laurie and all that, And old Eats sent an email to Paul saying, I have some things going on with Stacy that confuses what I am going to do next. The stress is becoming unbearable. Not to Paul. He sent that to his brother. Okay. Okay. So August 23, 2006, around 1.30 p.m. here, Lori and a lady she works with named Helen, they went to Paul's house

in Ramsey so Lori could show Helen where she would soon be living. Okay, that's 95 West Crescent Avenue in Ramsey by the way is the address. Once they get there, Helen said, man, it's warm in here. The friend said, wow, it's warm. Can you turn the

air conditioning on? And Lori said, oh, we won't be here long enough to even turn it on. Don't worry about it. So Lori gave Helen a quick tour of the house, included going down to the basement. Lori noticed that a furnace door, which was usually left open for ventilation, was closed. Thought that was weird. She thought that was strange.

Then Lori intended to show helen a unique bathroom in the house but the door was locked so that was weird as well but they just said whatever who knows what happened i don't know why the door is locked but they end up leaving the house about 2 30 p.m okay okay while locking the door um leaving lori noticed a burger king wrapper a whopper wrapper in the garbage right outside the door okay okay now she said wasn't hers kids didn't put it there paul didn't eat whoppers where's this whopper wrapper come from okay whoppers around what's up with the whoppers all right yeah so about 6 20 p.m yeah paul Paul called Lori to tell her he was driving home to feed the parrot, of course. Lori remained on the phone with him as he went in the driveway, got out of the car.

He was just talking on the phone with her, you know, chatting about their day. Paul notices the Burger King wrapper as he's going in. Oh, he notices it too. He noticed and he said, hey, Laurie, what's up with that? Were you eating Burger King today? And she said, no, I noticed the same thing. I was going to ask you if you were eating Burger King. I wasn't eating Burger King.

How great do they eat? Nobody's eating Burger King. How great do rich people eat that a Whopper wrapper raises- Gets everyone's attention? There's a fast food wrapper on our property. What happened? Who eats this shit? Yeah.

You find that in our house. Sarah just assumes I must have eaten something terrible. Well, he ate that at three in the morning like an idiot. That's right. We don't have a conference about, did you eat Burger King? Oh, did you? That's unbelievable. What a life to live. Wow. It's doing great. You're not going to believe what I saw. A Whopper wrapper. Oh, did you? It's unbelievable. What a life to live.

Wow. It's doing great. You're not going to believe what I saw. A Whopper rapper. Can you believe it? A Whopper rapper. I saw it too. Both of them saw it and were freaked out by it.

And freaked out. Talked about it. Everyone's, it's a big fucking source of contention here. So he's also said, oh, that's weird. He said, there's a Whopper rapper. He said also, oh, you left the air conditioning on. What the hell? Yeah.

Right? So she was about to say, I didn't turn the air conditioning on. As she's about to say that, she hears Paul shout, no, oh, no, and then stop speaking. Then she hears the bird loudly squawk. So no, oh, no. And then a loud thud, and that's it. It disconnects. You've got to assume the bird murdered him.

The bird just stabbed my husband in the face. The bird, he came in, didn't see it. The bird came from behind something, hit him in the head, and then just it was over. Stood over, pumped one into his brain. So no, oh, no. Loud thud. Phone dead. Phone dead.

That's the craziest shit ever. And again, I can't make this up, this bird stuff. I really can't. I wish it wouldn't happen like this. I really do. I don't. It keeps happening. No, I don't either. I really do, but it keeps happening. I don't. It keeps happening. No, I don't either.

I really don't. I want birds to keep happening. Yeah, a bird has a thirst for blood and whoppers. He went out and went through the drive-thru. He's just walking along. Just flew through the drive-thru, grabbed himself a whopper. We've rejected multiple cases. Not rejected, but i'm like we

can't do that's too many birds like we've had murders where i'm like no there's there's more birds in this fucking murder like we need to stop with the birds and space them out at least like people are going to start thinking it's like a theme show where we just talk about murders where birds are involved it's getting to that point bird murders small town bird murders you know how that goes bird Bird murders podcast. That's it. It's fucking ridiculous. So they're on the phone.

Lori then tries to call the house line from her house phone, and no one answered, the house and Ramsey. Yeah. So Lori calls 911 from her house phone and tells the operator what happened and um you know the line was dead with paul here and she said quote i was this is 911 from the recording i was just speaking to my boyfriend and he was entering his home i heard loud screaming and now there's dead air on the other end so yeah yeah go investigate it bring a bird bigger than a parent i was gonna say bring uh like some corn or some what a bird's like bring a snack for the bird bring one of those gloves that they wear or something if you want to catch the car or catch the bread wash your car and park it in the driveway it'll shit on it

eventually so you want a clean car and a loaf of stale bread and i think you can catch the murder low budget for the homicide department here. So she tells him that. The police arrive at Paul's house. They find the door locked. They end up busting through the door to get in. And they find Paul. Here he is, not just sitting there with a bird on his shoulder,

reading a book with a pipe in his mouth. He's dead on the floor in a pool of blood. Oh, boy. Okay, no evidence of forced entry so they were confused at first the cops because they were like how the fuck did this happen there's no forced entry doors are locked windows are locked how did this happen then they found a set of french doors leading from the master bedroom to the deck were unlocked out back so they found that yeah they were like oh shit an An autopsy determines that Paul sustained 10 gunshot wounds. Whoa.

None at close range. All from a.22 caliber. So 10.22s in you, who knows what they're bouncing all over your body. Yeah. That's a lot. So they looked at the locks in Paul's house as well. And they found that their locks in Paul's house as well, and they found that the locks have been aggressively picked recently.

Aggressively? Aggressively picked. So jamming, like maybe someone who's not an expert at this type of thing. Really trying to use brute force to fucking just, if I jam this in here hard enough, it'll work. Break the pins and I can just twist it. Yeah. So no weapon recovered at the scene. Detectives find no fingerprints either

that aren't Paul's or Lori's. No DNA, no physical evidence. Clean. Nothing. Just a clean getaway. It's got to be the bird. It has to be. I mean, the bird obviously opened the door,

flew out on the deck, tossed the, check the woods behind the house. Check like the pool filter. I bet the bird put the 22 in there check his claws because if they were aggressively picked he's gonna have some chipped claws long long nails those things are strong so none of that they concluded also that the shooter used a silencer the bullets came through a silencer they concluded through the testing yeah. So the next door neighbor named Penny McCullough, she said, it's a little bit surreal. I hate to say it. You know something selfish is coming up now.

You know something real selfish is coming up and real not appropriate for this moment. I hate to say it, but I hope it's someone he knew or was connected to him. If it's a random thing, then it's scary. Then I'm scared. I sure hope he pissed someone off because that was connected to him. If it's a random thing, then it's scary. Then I'm scared. I sure hope he pissed someone off, because that means that they won't kill me next. It was very personal, because I sit outside a lot alone. Plus, I would say if it's random, you're probably pretty safe.

How often are random people going to hit next-door neighbors next? Yeah, I don't know how many. If you randomly, Richard Ramirez was randomly picking people and murdering them. He never went and was like, I'll go to the house next door now. You figure everyone's, yeah, everyone's on alert now next door. So 10.30 p.m. that night, detective here went to Stacy's home. When he arrived, he saw a dark blue Ford Explorer in her driveway. Stacy said the Explorer was a loaner she was using while her vehicle was in the shop.

The detective told Stacy that Paul was dead, but didn't advise her of how it happened. Just said, hey, I just want to tell you Paul's dead. He then returned later in the evening to obtain a contact number for Eats, for Edward. Stacy gave the cell phone

number and also her sister's home phone number as well. So 445 a.m. They reach Evelyn, who is the sister there. They reach Evelyn and the next and they speak to Dottie as well. And Dottie is is eats his new girlfriend. Oh, OK. It's got a girl here. Dottie Dottie. I think her name is Dottie Sue,ats' new girlfriend. Oh. Okay. Eats got a girl here, Dottie.

I think her name is Dottie Sue, as a matter of fact. She was informed that he was, or Dottie, told the detective that Eats was in Louisiana with his sick mother, Myra. And there's no way to contact him because he left his cell phone in Florida for some reason. So they made several attempts to reach him by phone, and they couldn't. So August 24th at 6.45 p.m., Eats leaves a voicemail for the detective providing his mother's telephone number and said, Contact me there.

So the detective, later on, they talked to him that night, and Eats says that he left Florida the afternoon of August 20th and drove to Louisiana, arriving on August 22nd to visit his mother. He said he couldn't document his trip because he paid in cash, slept in the car, and left his cell phone at home. You know, like a serial killer. Yeah, like a guy that is on the run. Who the fuck does that? Unless you're on the lam. I vacation like a guy that's wanted.

Unless you intend to marry your 10th grade student and you've fled off into the mountains to eventually end up God knows where. Who fucking lives like that? This is the only people that live like that. Those teachers who have like their, them and their 17 year old student ran away together this is in 2006 for christ's sake come on man so they spent a lot of the time doing interviews with everybody the police and um you know they said they told wouldn't tell the press whether they had any suspects they did say that um they heard that there's they have they gave rise to some concern, something someone said. Okay?

So they want to look into Eats a little more here, old Edward. So they look into him. In August of 2006, he was living in Port St. Lucie, Florida with Dottie. They were living in an RV on property owned by Evelyn, who is his daughter, Stacy's sister. That's how you want to live out your golden years. Sounds like a fucking nightmare. Jesus goddamn Christ. I've worked real hard.

I'm going to shit in a plastic toilet for the rest of my life. This sounds wonderful. Yeah, I'm going to have to worry about where that's going for a long time, because I'm sure they didn't have all the hookups like you're at an RV park. It's just into the tank. You just empty the bucket every once in a while on top of this um evelyn lived in the same property and her house was like a normal house had a computer and internet connection and all that and eats used to be on the internet in there

all the time uh early august 2006 they actually began a trip up north which he didn't he he didn't say that but they figured that out um in aug on 13, 2006, while in Wytheville, Virginia, they stopped at Walmart and purchased a track phone cell phone, a burner. They stopped and got a burner phone and a card that had 120 minutes of service on it. So they got a burner like they were on the wire. So the phones activated the next day, August 14. They showed the first call was made on the 14th to the Pine Hill RV campground in Cutstown, Pennsylvania.

On the same day, Ron Waverly air quotes of Vero Beach, Florida paid cash to stay at the campground from the 16th to the 18th of August. Now, he is Ron Waverly. Obviously. Ron is his middle

name and waverly is the next town over from the uh his hometown in louisiana so he called himself ron waverly which sounds like a bad name yeah it sounds like what a congressman would use as their screen name when they're trying to woo underage girls i'm ron waverly. So, August 14th 2006, after checking in at the campground, he called an Enterprise Rent-A-Car in Allentown, Pennsylvania and later that day rented a Dodge Durango, selecting an option

that allowed them to drive to New Jersey. So you could do an out-of-state and all that shit. He returned the Durango to the Allentown Enterprise facility August 15th and requested a car with better gas mileage. The Durango had been driven 500 miles in one day. Wow. August 16th, he called, Eats called, twice called the REMAX office

inquiring about the status of Lori's house. Oh. Of his ex-son-in-law's fiancé's house. Yeah. Okay. Nothing to do with him. of his ex-son-in-law's fiance's house. Okay. So the car he got was a Hyundai Sonata, which was driven a thousand miles by the time it was returned

a couple days later on August 18th. What the fuck? Now, two hours before Paul was killed, one of Paul's neighbors arrived at his parents' house and noticed a blue Ford Explorer parked on the apron of Paul's driveway. As the neighbor turned into his parents' driveway,

the Explorer drove away. A blue Ford Explorer. That sound familiar? So the police get a bunch of search warrants, especially for Eats' RV and the home in Florida as well, that he was down there. They see six computers, his.22 caliber handgun. A what?

Ammunition and the door locks from French doors in Evelyn's house as well. Forensic tests on the hard drive from the computer retrieved from the home revealed that in 2006, a company in the business of selling lock picking sets received an order from someone using the computer and sent the kit to a E8, an Eats. Several locks retrieved from Evelyn's house bore evidence that someone had used lock picks on them. I've been practicing. Additional tests on the computer revealed that the Google searches performed.

Oh, boy. Included, quote, how to commit the perfect murder. It's on the internet. I don't know. How to commit a perfect murder. Okay. Ask fucking, wow. Okay.

Then that led to several articles discussing mistakes made in murders that got people caught. What not to do. The article recommended the use of an alias and a.22 caliber weapon. .22?.22 because not that loud. Neigh that loud neighbors will go is that a firecracker that's another that's one of the reasons and they bounce around pretty good um several other searches uh yielded results on lock picking and how to lock pick and had a better lock pick he also purchased two books through Amazon, quote, Workbench Silencers, The Art of Improvised Designs. And if that wasn't enough, more Workbench Silencers. So there's more.

Just in case. Second volume here. Bob Veal is next set after those old books they used to sell on TV. So he said that by July they talked to Eats. He said by July 2006 he had no relationship with Paul and no reason to even dislike him. He said, why would I kill him?

Yeah, he said that he did learn in August of 2006 that Stacey's condo was in danger of being foreclosed on. And he also said that Stacey was mentally distressed because of her slow recovery from Bell's palsy and because of her concern that she might not be able to live up to her part of the children's vacation while Paul was taking them on a much better vacation. So, according to Eats here, in August of 2006, he and Dottie intended to visit Stacey, but by the time they reached West Virginia, St Stacy seemed very happy and was enjoying her time with the

kids, so they lied to her and told her they were going to Louisiana to visit his mother instead. But instead of doing that, they found the campground in Pennsylvania. He said he was feeling guilty about not visiting Stacy, so he rented a car and decided to drive to Stacy's house to see how far away it was,

but then he turned around without getting all the way there. 500 miles. Just, eh, never mind, and turned around. 500 miles on a rental, on a whim. I've gone 250, but I think it's going to be 300. Never mind, I'll drive 250 back. He said they also drove past Paul's house at that time just to look at it.

According to Eats, he and Dottie returned the rental car because they wanted a smaller car. He said he and Dottie then traveled to Gettysburg Valley, Valley Forge and the Delaware Water Gap. Also, the Pocono Mountains and around the Catskills as well. Just on a tour. Yeah.

A thousand mile venture. That's it. He said when they went back to Florida, he left by himself to go to Louisiana to visit his mother, said he slept in his car and arrived in Louisiana atiana at 6 30 p.m august 23rd 2006 which is like exactly when paul was being murdered yeah yeah he said that's when i got there right at the same time so he also said the hard drive stuff is very easily explainable let me explain this to you okay he said that he he said that he had heard of a book about how to commit the perfect murder while watching the news. He said literally he was watching Fox and Friends one morning and it piqued his interest.

He said that he did an internet search regarding how to build a silencer and about lockpicking techniques because the book had discussed how easily obtainable that information was on the internet. And as a concerned parent he wanted to see if that was true as a concerned parent of 40 year olds i wanted to make sure the anarchist cookbook yeah i figured i'd order it to see if i could make my own napalm just to make sure that other people can't what other people are allowed to read yeah so he said also i was in lou Louisiana, so I couldn't have been there. I couldn't have done it. So there's multiple reasons why I couldn't have done it.

The state police officers, though, they drive a Hyundai Sonata from Ramsey, New Jersey, to Sibling, Louisiana, where his mom is, in 21 hours and 34 minutes to demonstrate that's how long it took to get there. Okay. Now, that's important because we find out that the time he said he was in Louisiana was bullshit. He told his sister to lie about that to the cops. He actually got there the next day at that time. Oh, shit. So he had 24 hours between the murder and when he got there,

and they're saying the drive takes 21 hours and 30-something minutes. So the police said he thought that when he hit the delete button on his computer it was gone forever nope nope oh god this is around the time that btk thought the same thing too right around this exact time so the cops can you guys trace can you do that no we can't oh god you do you do that you really got us behind the eight ball there. We're fucked. Paul also had a $1.5 million life insurance policy, but it was unclear who was the beneficiary at the time. During this time this is going on, Eats gets married to Dottie Sue. Might as well get married.

October 9th, 2006. He might as well get married. Yeah. But June 12th, 2007, E eats is arrested okay yep he told cops he'd be visiting his mom but then they later learned that the great-grandmother instead of being visited because she was sick she was gambling at the louisiana downs she's betting on the ponies at the time or the dogs or something um yep um and they said that that they're also going to charge his sister and his mother with lying as well. Is that right? Even mom's going down. Eighty three years old. They said that for Stacy, she's not been charged.

But they said if the mom and sister start cooperating, then there could be additional charges. So, yeah, they said she and the kids were with their were there when her mom and dad were arrested. They said, I could I could hear the kids screaming and crying in the background. In Louisiana? No, in New Jersey. Okay. Because he went there. So he's charged with first-degree murder, second-degree burglary, second-degree possession of a weapon for unlawful purpose, third-degree possession of a firearm without a permit, third-degree conspiracy to hinder apprehension,, fourth degree obstructing the administration of the law, and third degree witness tampering.

That's a lot. Dottie, his now wife, is also charged with hindering the investigation. She's held on $20,000 bail. Her lawyer said she's a 62-year-old grandmother who's never been in trouble before. And they said, $20,000 bail. Fuck off, Grandma. $20,000 or stay in. Yep in yep eats his mom myra she's also arrested and charged with hindering apprehension and obstruction um they said and new jersey wants to extradite her their lawyer said they want to extradite an 83 year old woman they're fucking serious they're fucking serious and also brenda eight uh the sister uh she's 51

she's charged with the same shit the police have wire taps be set up between him and his sister by the way there's a big legal battle that we have no time to get into about whether you can a new jersey wire tap can can talk to can intercept shit from florida too okay but they end up judging that yes with cell phones now phone it's not a land landlocked thing you can be anywhere we can listen to it wherever it goes suppose there's a criminal conspiracy on the phone and they cross the border of the state you're in to another state driving somewhere now you got to stop listening now and how would you know that so it's ridiculous so that's a whole big deal here there's 307 phone calls they took from this shit um all together so the trial comes up it lasts 23 days wow edwards eats his sister flips on him oh no oh yeah she pleaded guilty in return for probation

and agreed to testify against her brother oh shit she said she initially told the detectives her brother arrived at the house a day earlier than he did because he asked her to lie and she said on the stand i was tired of telling a lie she said it's a hard thing to testify against your brother but i think it's the right thing to do she said he got there the evening of the 24th which is 24 hours after the murder, looking tired and as if he'd been traveling. He then told her that his former son-in-law was killed in Ramsey the day before. He said, quote, this is what she said in court. He said, quote, I want you to lie and tell them I was here on the day before the murder. He was afraid they might blame him for what happened.

So also she said she received a call from dotty and she told me that if a strange man calls tell him ed got there on tuesday the strange man's a homicide detective by the way if a guy identifying as police calls hmm a hump not even that homicide when homicides on the phone it's a different story it It's not, oh, I'm so-and-so. I'm with the homicide department. What the fuck do you want to talk to me for? So his lawyer portrayed Brenda, the sister, as a confused woman who often got details mixed up. So how would she know? He directed jurors to the testimony of a neighbor who said he saw Edward Yates' car in the front yard of his mother's home the night of the murder.

They also said that Brenda's grasp of facts wasn't very good. They said, do you get mixed up a lot? And she said, no. They said, do you get confused a lot? And she said, no. And they went, okay, well, that's that. Now, what is his defense? Besides I was in Louisiana because that fell apart.

I can't wait to hear it. His defense is, and this is what his lawyer said, he's too fat to kill him. This man is too fat to have killed that man. That's their defense. Too fat. They brought doctors in to go, he is a fat, look at this fat fuck.

He had to stop for Burger King on the way there. That's how fat he is. But then they couldn't. 21 hour drive from jersey to there's no way this fat fuck could do it oh they say he couldn't have ran up this it's i'll tell you what his lawyer said but they this man and not to make but fuck dude if you're so fat that you a use it as a defense for murder but b you need to stop for a burger on the way to murdering someone? Need a murder snack. I'm really, I got to kill this motherfucker, but I'm peckish.

I'm just feeling just like, you know, just a grumble. I'm going to stop at the drive. I ate the onion rings on the way, but I'm going to take the Whopper in the house. I'm going to drive on up to Jersey and commit a murder. Oh, that sounds so close to burger. Now I'm hungry. So close. commit a murder oh that's so close to burger oh now i'm so close so they said this is a rare strategy not used often in a murder case one guy did try it richard cooey he argued he was too fat to execute he was an ohio guy he was 5 7 267 and he said his obesity made death by lethal injection

inhumane because they couldn't find suitable veins. But they ended up executing him. So this guy said his client's weight, our guy here, Eats' lawyer, said Eats' weight has led to asthma, sleep apnea, and diabetes as well. He said, quote, you don't, god damn it, you look at Ed and you don't need to hear it from a doctor.

He said, look at him, he looks terrible. That's his defense for murder. Look how awful awful he looks this guy's a fat fuck you see how fat this guy is he's huge so the other thing problem though from the time of the trial from the time of the arrest to the trial he lost 60 pounds in jail wow because it's just the food sucks and his lawyer said told the media quote it visually impacts it i'm probably the only person in his life that told him not to lose weight his lawyer's going carbs just carbs carbs and don't move no exercise according to the lawyer also the trajectory of the bullet shows that Eates wasn't physically capable of the shooting. He said that Paul was shot six times as he walked down a hallway.

He said the shooter first fired from a staircase leading to the basement. That was followed by several shots fired head on. In order to do that, Eates would have had to run up the stairs. He said, that's not happening. You don't need to be a doctor. He literally said, you don't need to be a doctor to see you can't do that. That's not happening. You don't need to be a doctor. He literally said you don't need to be a doctor to see you can't do that.

He said it also would have been impossible for him to clean up all the shell casings and flee the house before the police arrived, let alone then drove 21 hours straight to his mother's house. So they asked some defense attorney who was a big-time defense attorney at the time. He wrote a book called The Trial Lawyer, What It Takes to Win. He said it's an unusual defense, but it would be a credible defense if the facts really fit in. He said all defenses sound crazy the first time you use them. Right. So they bring a doctor in.

He testifies that running up the stairs would have caused Eats to become short of breath and make it difficult to keep his wrist straight enough to accurately fire a gun at someone from a distance burping whopper fucking i think he was fueled by whopper yeah fueled by whopper and parrot anger so he maintained he went to louisiana at the time of the murder um so they said you know he suffered from all this shit there's no way he could have done this the prosecutor said well he did research on how to pick locks in order to lock picking set and perfect murder and weapons and he said but i was in louisiana and i'm fat so the prosecution discounts the too fat for murder defense, saying he's a former Marine, highly skilled in the use of weapons. He was in Vietnam.

He's very much capable of driving a car or firing a small handgun. Those aren't physical, you know, things. It's more of a story of overcoming being fat than it is fat being a detriment. He said, what's his quote later on? He said, it's not like he ran the New York City Marathon. That's what he said. He jumped in a detriment. He said he was this quote later on. He said it's not like he ran the New York City Marathon. That's what he said. He jumped in a car. So they bring a doctor, Michael Farber, who's going to be a witness to fatness here.

He is a doctor of internal medicine, just a regular doctor. He said it was highly improbable that eats could have driven the 21 hours while sitting because he suffered from sleep apnea. So this guy said he was too plagued by chronic illness. They said, could he have driven 24 hours straight? And he said, or 21? And he said, I would say it's highly improbable. They said, well, can you explain his physical state? And he said, basically, he is obese, has some form of asthma,

elevated blood pressure, and diabetes. They said, does any of that, this is the prosecution, does any of that have anything to do with his ability to fire a weapon? And the doctor said, no. He said, how about driving a car? He said, nope, good there too. So the prosecution argued that this is ridiculous. He called it completely stupid, preposterous. He said that he couldn't do that.

They tried to exclude the drive. The defense didn't want the timed drive to be let into evidence. They wouldn't let MapQuest directions with the time be let into evidence. And then they tried to not let the actual drive, but the drive was done by police and it was documented, so they had to let him do it. Eats testifies. Oh, boy. He says he often needs a break when driving because he says he's not capable of driving. He said, quote, I can't drive too long.

Yeah. Can't drive. He said he also didn't kill Paul. He said, I hardly got to know Paul the whole time they were married. I had no reason to want Paul dead. They said, did you murder Paul? And he said, no, I did not. He said, where were you at August 23rd, 2006 at 630 p.m.?

He said, at my mother's house. Right. Yeah. They check all of his rental stuff. Turns out they had been pulled over driving the Durango. That's when he traded it in. So, yeah, they said, do you remember that? And he said, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They said, hours later, you trade the car in because it uses too much gas? And he said, yep, that's why. Or is it because you got documented in it? Yeah, like, ah, fuck, now they know I'm in this. So the prosecutor in his closing said, quote, he's not running a marathon. I'll agree he probably can't do that. What he can do is execute his son-in-law. He said that this isn't the New York City Marathon.

He said this investigation turned every page, looked in every corner, all roads inexorably and ultimately led to one and only one. This man, this fat fuck right here. Fat or not. This whopper sucker. The verdict comes in and the jury finds him. They took less than two days and they find him, first of all, fat. They do find him fat. That is true.

But also guilty. Fat and guilty, they find him. You're fat and you're guilty. So during sentencing, Paul's sister-in-law came out and she said she wanted Aitz to receive whatever the maximum sentence is. That's what he deserves. So it is the sentencing, the convictions for felony murder and second degree possession of a weapon for

unlawful purpose were merged into the conviction for first degree murder. So they're going to sentence him all at once. They said, anything to say for yourself, Tubbs? And he said, number one, I'd love a whopper. He said, quote, I am innocent. The jury got it wrong.

Okay. The judge says, really? Well, you, sir, may fuck off. You're going to be out of breath by the time you get there, but you can go. Life sentence. Oh, shit. No parole for 63 years and nine months. Oh. 63 years and 9 months. Oh.

63 years and... Oh, yeah, he's fucked. He's 64 years old at the time. 63 years and 9 months. He'd be approximately 127, 128 years old. I don't think, judging by his weight, I don't think he's going to make it. I don't think he's going to make it to 70. No. Also, 10 years concurrent

for second-degree burglary and 5 years for the weapons possession without a permit oh my god also merged all the other shit together and for the tamper witness tampering and all that into a consecutive five-year prison term so then it's 73 years or yes no 68 years and nine months now so reactions the defense attorney said this is ridiculous um of course he did he said the prosecutor was in possession of medical experts reports that said he is too fucking fat they know that he said i think that all of these things should have been shown to the jury and the prosecutor should not have told the jury in his closing remarks that it was nonsense well that's

his case is that what your case is nonsense he said, we have a lot of legal grounds for appeal. It's going to be great. Paul, Paul's fiancee, Lori said, whatever justice could be served was served. I hope that Paul can rest. Paul's mother said, my mother had to put her child to rest prematurely at the age of 40. Oh, no, this is the sister talking about the mother. Said that Paul's children will never see their daddy again. Yeah. And the prosecutor said he took the life of his grandchildren's father and now he must forfeit his.

Now, that's one thing. And then Paul's mother said about Stacy, quote, she's a gold digger and they killed him for the money. They are liars and liars and liars. Fuck yeah. You tell him, Sophia. That's her name, Sophia. You tell him.

Liars and liars and then more liars. He appeals it mainly about the wiretap saying that that was unconstitutional and all this type of shit. And they said, get the fuck out of here with that take a hike um so october 9th they reject all of his arguments in a seven to nothing opinion uh the court of new jersey there so he's fucked he's stuck in prison and on october 9th 2020 he drops dead in prison right? Eats is dead at 75. Much older than I thought. They have said a private cremation will be held. I'm sure.

So there you go. Now, quickly, there is not, don't confuse this with another Ed Eats. There's another Edward Eats who couldn't be more of the opposite of this man. Our guy, short, fat, old, white. This guy, 25, 6'7", muscular, black basketball star. What? Yes. Couldn't be more different. He was convicted of murder.

He was convicted of murder for slitting a woman's throat and all this shit of a neighbor, but he got exonerated. He didn't do it. Oh, shit. So when you look up Edward VIII's murder, it comes up a lot of this guy's shit, and it was confusing at first because I was like, wait a second. He didn't do it. Oh, shit. So when you look up Edward VIII's murder, it comes up a lot of this guy's shit, and it was confusing at first, because I was like, wait a second.

He didn't do it? He did do it. He searched all that shit, and he left a burger wrapper. What are we talking about? This is the Burger King killer. Who else could it be? How long did it take for him to get exonerated?

Was it a while? A while, a while, yeah. So don't confuse it with that guy. That is Ramsey, New Jersey, and one hell of a crazy story. His initials are Eats. And he said, come on, man. And he had a burger before murdering.

And he had a burger. And he said, I'm too fat to kill a man. You can't make that up. That's why I said, yeah, we're going to make fun of him. But there's a reason. Because he used it as a defense. Anything you use as a defense, I get to pick on. Fuck that.

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have a parrot yeah and b don't stop at Burger King on the way. And if you do, eat before you get there. Don't eat at the murder site. That's not okay. So you'll get caught. That's what happens. So that said, thank you so much. And until next week, everybody, it's been our pleasure.

Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Small Town Murder early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen early and ad-free with W Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. It's all a lighthearted nightmare on our podcast, Morbid. We're your hosts. I'm Alina Urquhart. And I'm Ash Kelly. And our show is part true crime, part spooky, and part comedy. The stories we cover are well-researched.

He claimed and confessed to officially killing up to 28 people. With a touch of humor. I'd just like to go ahead and say that if there's no band called Malevolent Deity, that is pretty great. A dash of sarcasm and just garnished a bit with a little bit of cursing. This mother****er lied. Like a little bit of cursing. This motherfucker lied. Like a liar. Like a liar. And if you're a weirdo like us and love to cozy up to a creepy tale of the paranormal,

or you love to hop in the Wayback Machine and dissect the details of some of history's most notorious crimes, you should tune in to our podcast, Morbid. Follow Morbid on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to episodes early and ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.