Smart Money Happy Hour with Rachel Cruze and George Kamel - The Art of Talking Money in Any Relationship

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

📈 Are you on track with the Baby Steps? Get a Free Personalized Plan Do you ever feel like the “poor friend” of the group struggling to keep up? In this episode, Rachel and George talk about money’s impact on different relationships so you can avoid relational drama. Next Steps: 🏅 Help us make the show better! Please fill out a quick survey. 💵 Start your free budget today. Download the EveryDollar app! 🍸 Follow Smart Money Happy Hour on TikTok: @smartmoneyhappyhour. 📱Submit a Guilty As Charged question for Rachel and George! Send a DM to @rachelcruze or @georgekamel on Instagram! Be sure to type “GUILTY?” at the top of your message so we don’t miss it.   Connect With Our Sponsors: 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 🌿 Get up to 40% off at Cozy Earth with code SMARTMONEY. Today’s Happy Hour Special: 🍹 Sparkling Pink Mocktail Recipe: Lidl Ingredients: 6 ounces raspberries 4 ounces organic lemonade 6 ounces lemon lime seltzer water 2 scoops raspberry sorbet Mint Instructions: Lay 5 ounces of raspberries on a cookie sheet and freeze for 10 minutes. Place ice and frozen raspberries in 2 glasses. Divide lemonade, seltzer water and sorbet between the glasses. Top each glass with remaining fresh raspberries and a sprig of mint.   Listen to More From Ramsey Network: 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights   🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we are talking about how money affects relationships and getting into some of the dilemmas. And this is not the romantic kind. This is just money and relationships. Handling money differently than your in-laws. All right, next category, co-workers. The group gift one kind of, it bothers me a little bit. Hey guys, I'm Rachel Cruz. I'm George Camel.

And this is Smart Money Happy Hour. Cheers. Well, this is the show where two friends who happen to be money experts talk about what you're talking about everything from pop culture, current events, and money. We are sipping on a sparkling pink moktail, which just sounds like the description of the drink doesn't tell you a lot about it. Yeah. But it is all of those things, and it's very good.

So stick around until the end. We're going to give you the rating and reveal the cost per glass. Beautiful. All right. Here's how we got here. We came across an article about a husband and wife with an extra large wage gap who shared their story on a financial podcast recently. Here's the story.

Gina earns $55,000 a year. as a New York City attorney, James or husband earns $60,000 as a freelance musician. The couple uses Gina's salary to travel throughout the year and invests 14%, but they're starting to struggle with this wide income gap. Here's the quotes. Gina said, and I quote, I've always planned to take care of myself financially if I have to, so I'm grateful that I can take care of us.

But I hope that one day there will be less of a discrepancy. James said, because I'm not able to contribute in the same way, I feel like I'm not enough. Since Gina's career is more demanding, she wants James to handle more of the things at home, but she finds herself doing most of the, quote, unseen tasks of keeping up the household. How would you coach them?

If they called into the Ramsey show, we're sitting there, what would you say to Gina and James? Yeah, to me it's less about the income gap. It's more about where do you guys want to be as a family. So, yeah, you can get used to living on what they're making. In a New York City, right, doesn't go as far as other places. but I would decide, okay, what do we need to make to enjoy our life and not feel this weird pressure, right? Because, I mean, I do think there could be a point that she's able to step away and do something else, not making as much.

Or maybe she has more flexibility, more time, and she doesn't feel this pressure on her, right? Yeah. So that would be what I would get to is more of, hey, what do you have to make as a household to run peacefully and enjoy life? but also whoever brings in the money I don't know it's just never been a thing and Winston I have been through different seasons I mean honestly like we kind of can flip-flop years like he makes more some years I make more like it

and it's never like a big thing but maybe it's because we're so close if it was so spread out maybe I would feel different but I don't well if she's making 10 times what he's making he just feels I think there's a societal pressure of well the man needs to be the provider and there shouldn't do this giant gap or she's the breadwinner I think times have changed

and now you can be a woman in New York City making 600 grand Oh totally And so I would celebrate that Do you think there's anything in a dude That's like man Like you do want to produce And like yeah like there's like a thing there

I think so Because I think for like Winston Like if I quit I know he would like landscape yards If he had like he would just He's just a workhorse Like he would just work He would figure out a way to make money

And be like yeah I'll take it like I don't feel this pressure That I have to In that sense Because whatever he could makeup. Does that make sense? I don't know, but he has that wired in him. Well, there's also a piece of, I think you need to be a healthy person.

And if you're an unhealthy person who's always comparing and you need to keep up and stack up, you're always going to feel like you're not enough. And so I don't know, I think they're always going to have a discrepancy. I don't know that a freelance musician in New York City at his level is going to make $600 grand anytime soon. So I wouldn't plan

for that. I would just celebrate the fact that she makes a great income. Let's use it to our advantage, live on less than we make, stack away money, so that one day, if she wanted to take a step back or let's say stay home with kids one day if that was her dream she could do that and they'd be okay yes for sure no that's a good point yeah and i think the resentment of the tasks being done that he's not helping with that was the other piece yeah and i mean that to me is like has she communicated these unseen tasks well i was to say one-on-one communication and making that much

i'm like do you go on care dot com and hire someone for four hours a week to come Tuesday you know what i mean like there's a point that you're like, do you have the ability to outsource? Yes. If neither of you are like, have the time. Who knows what his schedule is, even though he's not making a ton. It doesn't mean he's just sitting around. I mean, I don't know. But that has to be communicated.

If I was her, I'd sit down with him and have a calm conversation, not an emotionally charged. Like, I'm always doing all this stuff and you never. Yeah, it's a never you. It's a hay. Here's what I'm experiencing. I'm getting home. I'm doing all these things. What's a good solution?

Could we get someone to help out at the house? Yes. Maybe do the house cleaning, wherever the chores are that feel like. they're weighing on her to alleviate him from feeling this weird like oh gosh i never even knew that you were upset about or maybe he steps up and says oh gosh i didn't realize that for sure i can you know x y and z so i mean communication is i know that's going to be a theme here people but it's a foreshadowing you are right though it is more than ever that we're seeing women out-earned men that is happening within a relationship i mean that is becoming more and more common so i do think

it's something that you do have to be have a level of security but also a nod to like yeah, he may still want to like make money and produce, right? Some guys may not feel that. If you're the woman, I would say don't hold that over their head like they're lesser than because they don't make as much as you. And men don't feel so insecure that you're like, oh, I got to keep up or else I'm not enough. Totally.

Go to therapy and deal with the underlying issues. And find what gives you life and what kind of scratches that is. It may not equal dollar amount, but at least you're feeling productive. I do think that's important. And celebrate the fact that one of you is making bank. That's a wonderful thing. Hallelujah. No shame in that.

All right. Let's go into some money in relationships, George. Category number one is family. And, you know, when you get into inheritances, properties, if a parent, you know, parents pass away, your adult kids are now dealing with the money situation and all of it. Wills. Who is in the will?

Who's getting what? Who should get what? Yes. And if it's not clear, that's where a lot of the kind of family conflict starts to arise. The question and the tension. Yeah, it's either conflict or it's just completely stressful because no one knows where anything is, right? So I do think there is something to be said to sit down

and have a conversation with your family about this. It's a really loving thing to do, right? And I know people watching this are either like the adult children. Maybe they're not at the age where they're going to do this. Maybe you are. I don't know. But just being able to say, yeah, here's what's going to be going on in the family. That's a very kind thing for parents to do.

age appropriately. But once your kids hit adult age... Have open conversations about this. Don't let it be a surprise. And then a few checkpoints. Make sure that you have a will in place. If you're an adult, you need a will. Regardless of who you are,

any of that, you need a will. Saying, here's my wishes. I know it's not fun. Get it done. You can do it online. Number two, you need term life insurance if you have someone that relies on your income, which would be spouse or kids.

Yes. Get that in place. And make it very clear on who's getting what, We've had calls on the Ramsey show where they're like, hey, there's a property, it's a cabin, and it's split between my five, my dad and his four siblings. And when they pass it to us, it's going to go to like the 20 cousins.

And I'm like, don't overcomplicate things. Right. Make it simple and you get to do what you want. If one of your kids has terrible habits and you don't want to give money to them, you don't have an obligation to give money to them. Right. And if you want to split it evenly amongst all the kids,

great. If you want to give it all to charity and give nothing to your kids, you can do that too. Yeah, but communicate it is the key there. Okay, next, handling money differently than your in-laws. We get this call on the Ramsey show a lot. And I think the rub is, because to me, I'm like, we're always going to do things differently than all of our,

even like my parents, right? Like, not just the money, but the way you raise your kids, which you let them do or don't do, which you, how you discipline. I'm like, your life decisions are going to be different than your parents and your in-laws, period, right? So I think we all need to be comfortable with that. I think it's when they're not respectful of said decisions.

Belendries or decisions. Yeah, and a lot of it, what we hear on the Ramsey show is even like trips, like, hey, we're trying to get out of debt, and our in-laws are guilting us into going on this trip, and they're not paying for it. We have to pay for it, but we don't have the money right now. Like, it's this whole, like, tension, right? I think that's where I see it the most.

It's like in-laws are wanting to do something. Or the, you know, like the daughter, like her mom told the daughter, hey, here's what you should do, but the husband disagrees. And now it's like mother-in-law versus husband. You know what they call that? Triangling. Triangling. Is that a therapy term?

Yes, yep. Don't triangle. Don't triangle. And it gets messy. So what do we usually tell them, here's what I would say, is this is between the daughter and the mom. The husband, the in-law son should not get involved and be like, hey, mother-in-law, here's what?

What are you talking about? In the conversation. About what? The vacation? Oh, whatever the boundary is. Oh, yeah, yeah. When you're having the boundary conversation, yes. Family on family.

Yes, family on family. I don't think as the son-in-law, I should get involved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's fair. I think it's cleaner. Yes, if you go to your... But it's tough because you're pinning two people... Paternal, maternal parent.

Who do you listen to? Mom, who I love and trust, or a husband who I'm doing life with, and you have to go, all right, we disagree on this as a couple, so therefore we need to be aligned. Yes. The couple needs to be aligned first. 100%. And so it can get awkward.

Tricky. But we say like, just set boundaries. It's a really difficult conversation to have with someone who's not ready to hear that or will not understand that or take that to heart. Yes, 100%. Because they then have to respect the boundary. And if they don't, you then have to distance

and go, okay, they don't respect the boundary. We can't do this. Keep going down this road because it's not going to be good. I know. That's hard. It's so hard. All right, next, aging parents or aging single relatives. So, again, you're having to maybe take care of, of what is happening with the aging parents, but they could be reluctant.

Like you want to help and they go, no, no, no, no, no, I'm fine. I'll deal with it. Yep. And at that point, you can't control them, so it's like, all right, we're going to have to deal with it. Yeah. And a lot of times it's out of a good place. They don't want to be a burden.

But if you're really wanting to help and you have the ability to help, whether that's with your time, your resources, your money, then do it. Do it as a gift. Do it out of the kindness of your heart. No alter your motives. But we get this call a lot where they go,

my parents haven't saved a dime for retirement. They're broke and I'm worried it's going to become my problem. Yes. What do we do? So step one is you need to have this conversation with them and say, do you realize where you're at financially? Here's what I'm seeing. And not out of place of judgment, out of a place of I love you as my parents.

I want to see you guys be able to retire with dignity and have the best life possible. Here's what I'm thinking. Yep. And they have to be open to it. You can't force them. No, not at all. And at the end of the day, they have to make decisions. and I think if there's a willingness there to say,

oh, yeah, let's try to do something differently, and you're able to help stepping in and guiding that. But then after a while, it is like, oh, my gosh, they're just going to blow the money. Like, what do we do, right? So I think that there, that's a hard thing. That's a hard conversation. And responsibility that you feel as a kid, right,

when you're watching your parents making harmful decisions for themselves. But, yeah, it's tough. That's a tough one. All right, next category, coworkers. So coworkers hanging out outside of work or everyone's like, let's go get lunch out. This is you and me. Rachel wants to go to the fancy restaurant,

get all the apps, get desserts, yolo. But, you know, a lot of people that we talk to that are doing the Ramsey plan, they're getting out of debt. They'll talk about this, that all their coworkers go out to lunch all the time. And they're like, I'm just not spending money going out to lunch every day. Like, I'm going to. And how do you say no without being the fuddy-duddy? I know.

And you're like, no, I'm good. and like, come on, just come out. Like, we'll cover it. You're like, no, I'm good. Do you say yes? We'll cover it? What if they say they'll cover it? Sure.

Thanks. Absolutely. Rachel's taking a friend of meal. No, I do think after a while, though, if you build a relationship and know enough of like, oh, yeah, they're getting out of debt. Like, there's a purpose, why, you know, usually. Or maybe you just don't like your coworkers.

And you can share that. It could be a great way to share, like, hey, I'm doing this plan, and right now I'm trying this no spend month. Yes. And they're like, what? Tell me more. Yeah. I'm trying to get out of debt.

But it is hard. I do know friends that have been in the same type of environment and one just keeps getting promoted, right? And then it is this like, oh my gosh, difference in salary too, even within the company. Your budget's different or how much you can spend eating out compared to the other person. How about obligatory gifts for coworkers or leaders at work? Yeah, meal trains.

That's a big one. Yes, I do love a meal train. I try to do it. I'm not always great at following through, but I think it is one of the biggest blessings to do for someone. did our meal train when we had Mia. You came by and brought us a great meal. Yes.

You brought a great gift. So thank you for that. You're so welcome, George. The group gift one kind of, it bothers me a little bit. You know what I learned, I think, on this show with, we did like a manners episode or something. Did we know? And you're not supposed to technically get a gift for your leader. But is it weird to give a gift to your, like, team members?

Then if you get one for everyone, or else it's favoritism. I get them for the girls. I don't do this every year. Again, I have such good intention. We're leaving out the guys now? I have such good intention. But there's been a few years. I'll go and get a bunch of earrings or something.

You know, yeah, I don't get it. A girl gift. I don't know if I ever got stuff for the guys. Just cash would be nice. Sorry, y'all. Cash for me. Come on. It's all dudes here.

Do you get gifts for the team? I have years past. You have. To more like key team members. I know there's a woman in the back. We love you, Eboo. Great drink, by the way. Makes a mean drink.

I love it in the back. I think something small. I don't think like it feels weird to do something outrageous unless they really like... Sure. You know. But I think it's a nice thing to do for the team. I know. I prefer...

I'm just... I'm terrible. It's not my love language. I'm really terrible at... You know what, your experience is over gifts? I'd rather do like a fun end-of-year party or something for the team. I thought that. Should we throw one together for this team?

I think we have to now. I think you just threw it out there. I did. I genuinely. thought that, like, that sounds so much more fun. And, like, bring a significant other and we'll, like, yeah. Yes. We have recently done happy hours for the team, not smart money happy hour, but a happy hour

for the smart money happy hour team. Yes, that's right. So we're sort of doing those, which is fun. Thanks, Kelly for heading that up. Thanks, Kelly, you're the best. We didn't head that up to Kelly, too. But you showed up. Like, we're such givers.

You both came. We're such givers. Yeah, we did not plan this party. We did not pay for this party. We had no thought. But we will take credit. But we came. Gosh darn it.

We showed up. and we blessed everyone with their presence, which is the true gift. Oh, my gosh. A lot of blurred lines with these, Rachel. I know. You know what else has some blurred lines? What's that? The internet.

I see what you did there. And our personal info that is all over the internet. It is amazing in our world today. How often we are filling out forms, we are buying stuff online. And a lot of these companies then will sell your data, your email address, your address, your phone number, to data broker websites. And then they sell your data again. It just goes through and it's terrible.

That's why we love and use Delete Me. Yes, they'll find and remove your data from all of these sites, like creepypeoplefinder.com. And you're like, why does it know my agent address? And I don't want that out there. And then that's how you get all these scam, you know, fraud texts that you may or may not fall for. USBS.

So it reduces all of that spam you're getting. It reduces the risk of fraud. And so for that, it is totally, totally worth it. It's super affordable. And they're giving our listeners and viewers an extra deal. So you can get 20% off any of the plans. If you go to join deleteme.com slash smart money or click the link in the show notes. Yep. Check it out. All right next is roommates. So splitting up costs fairly for everyone or is it

depends on what you make. Like what's the what's the situation? Well there's the like well you have the bigger room with the bathroom attached. Therefore you pay more. I do think that is true. I would make them pay more. It garages. The people use the garage. I think you pay more for that. Oh, I didn't think about that one. Wow. What about decor? Like who's bringing the furniture, who's going to make it look nice. This gets very testy, because usually there's one person who cares and wants to.

Who wants it to be clean, one person who wants it to look nice, usually the same person. And there's the other who could give a rip. And so you're like, well, do you make them pay for half of the decor? Or, because I feel like you shouldn't, because that's something you care about, not them. Yeah, but you are going to be enjoying it and live in the common space, right? So I would think I would ask for a small amount, like, let's agree on a budget. And then if that person wants to go above and beyond, that's up to them. Yep. And I think like if you brought the couch but they bought the dining table, you don't

have to like cherry picking. Just let it go. You know what we did in college, I had four roommates and we had like a jar and at the very beginning of the year we all put like $50 in. Okay. And anytime paper towels or dish soap like stuff that we all use, you just take it out of that jar and buy it with that. Wow. It was very smart. I felt very efficient. I didn't think about that. One was the last time you had a roommate? college. Because I got married, I got married

08? Yeah, 08. Wow. It's been a long time. Simpler times. Now it's Winston. Do you ever miss it or? I, well, I'm such an extrovert.

You're like, woo. I mean, it was a part. I loved college though. College was like my prime. I think I've gone downhill since. It was so fun. So like one year, yeah, I lived with three of my friends.

I was telling you about it. And then the next year I got married in December. So I had half of a semester. So Kelsey and Carly shout out. They were living in a two-bedroom, and Kelsey let me get a mattress on the floor. I shared a room with her for four months. That's special. From August to December.

And it was so fun. It's so, it is, I love living with people. Let me pull. Now I say that as like a 20-year-old. Yeah, as an adult. And you never live with like dudes. Gross, gross. Winston's roommates.

I had four roommates in college. It was five of us. It was awful. Disgusting. Disgusting. In my spot. Their bathroom. Like, think about this, my section of the room was so well-caught.

Like, I would be vacuuming my little... What was it? A house? What did you live in? It was, uh... Sorry, I'm getting emotional. It was like a cottage. Well, that's very, like...

Very, like... The holiday of you, George. It was not fancy. An English cottage? So, me and one guy were on one side of the dorm, and then the other guys were on the other side with three bunk stacked to the ceiling. Wait, what?

So three bunk stacked, there's three guys in there. Then two of us. Do you have a bunk? We did like, we separated them out. Oh, so this was like part of the school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's not like an off campus. No, I did do that as well.

I had one roommate off campus. I got you, I got you. It was, you know. Winston, they wouldn't turn on their heat. They all slept in sleeping bags. They didn't like flush the, like, there was certain things. They just like, it was so, it was just, you walked in and you're just like. There was like a communal bucket of popcorn that would just sit out for the week.

And they would just come by, grab some. I was like, how old is this popcorn? This is disgusting. I can't do it. I think I wore flip-flops in the shower. That's how disgusting this was. Totally. Not okay.

And then the other one is roommates that make more than you. But they don't want to pitch in for, you know, maintenance or the upgrade or the thing. That can be frustrating. Yeah, that's stupid. But I think, again, clear communication up front. I think splitting as evenly as possible on things that are even. What if one person takes 30-minute showers and you're... No, that's...

No, don't penny pinch. Just live on. alone if that's you. Don't do that. Figure it out. Okay. The next category. The next one is divorce.

Great. We're really just on a roll here, Rachel. This has been a fun episode. Thanks for playing. I know, but this is happening. It is weird getting to the age where you know people that like got married the same time as you and people are getting divorced. Is there a theory around that?

Like it's like, hey, if you've been married seven years at the seven year mark. The seven year itch is a good thing. It's what they say. Yeah. They claim that. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like it had been shortened because of our attention span in life.

I'm like everything's just shortened. I don't know. Interesting. But I do think what happens if you're like, especially as like a couple, right? You go on trips together, whatever, whatever, whatever. And then the divorce happens. Not only is the relationship sticky at that point.

But then one of them was like, oh, yeah, I have one income now. It's going to look different for what I can afford. Well, one was a stay-at-home parent and now they've never, you know, they haven't worked. Yeah. And now they have to go figure it out. Or either way. Like you split, right?

And it's like, oh, yeah, it's a single income now when they're used to living on a duel. and now they're trying to be like, oh, yeah, I can't afford that. You know, the change, it does happen within like a friend group can be a thing. Well, if there's kids involved, that's where it gets really difficult. I've, you know, had friends who have like five kids and they split, and it's really difficult in the kids. So I feel like it should be your priority to make sure the kids are okay.

Yes, for sure. You know, make sure they don't feel the brunt of the financial challenges or whatever's going on to shield them from that, especially if they're younger. Yeah, for sure. Next is friends. This one's more fun. So vacations, yeah. Have you vacationed with friends a lot?

Yeah, we do. We have like, one, two, three, we have four families that we feel real good traveling with. Okay. And are you all in a similar level as far as travel? Like, I know you want to go to the resort.

Are they like, oh gosh, that's not in the budget? You guys talk about it? No. Three for sure are spenders. That's why I think I enjoyed. You're like, great. We chose well.

And then our other friends, friends are more budget conscious, for sure. Do you try to be aware of that when you plan the trip? Or is like, here's where we're going, do you want to join? Here's what it might cost. Do they figure that out on their own? Yeah. I mean, so let me say this.

When we vacation with people, all of them are like in town, like we see them. Okay. On a regular basis. So I don't feel this obligation to be like, oh my gosh, we have to see you on vacation. It's more like, hey, we want to go to this really fun place. want to come to because it would be a fun experience if y'all want to come to. Does that make sense? So I feel like that's kind of how we have done it. But we did have one trip that we had three families and we were in a big house. And I did pick the house and I did want it closer to the beach.

Which is pricier. Because of the kids and stuff, I'm like, it's just easier. So I would stay further away from like the central point to be on the beach. And do you tell them, and I did say, and I talked to Winston about it before and I just said, hey, I'm okay paying more for our share so that we can be close to the beach. So that makes sense? Is that makes sense? Like hey, because it's something Rachel wanted

all kind of foot part of that bill for the increased charge. And a lot of them are like, well, how much is it? And I'm like, I'll tell you the price, but like we're planning this trip as like the travel agent Rachel. So like. Yes. No pressure.

Like there's not pressure or two. Does that make sense? Like I don't want it doesn't feel like, oh, we all have to split this all evenly because I pick the house. Is it? I don't know. Yeah, that is hard. As the planner, you feel the,

of the pressure of is everyone going to be okay with this and what it's going to cost? That's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah. All of them. How about you guys? We've done a few. It's been a while, you know, since having a kid, it's different. Not a lot of vacations, more trips. More trips, I know. But we've done it, and it's been fun. I've always wanted to do, like, the go-to-a-all-inclusive resort or something where there's less pressure.

You already paid for everything. Yes. There's no surprises. People can meet up when they want. Yep, yep. That one feels better to me. Yeah, but if there was, like, a really fun, unique experience, I'm great with doing the, like, like, sitting and crappier seats for the experience just to go with them to the experience.

Do you know what I mean? Like that's something that I'm like, oh yeah, I wouldn't feel like, oh gosh, we have to have the best seats ever. I'd be like, oh, no, no, no, I just want to go to this awesome concert because we both love Slain Dion. I don't care what the tickets are. Have you ever gotten seats that were bad

and then regretted it? I don't think so. I mean, sometimes you're really far up and you're like... I was the furthest row back at Bridgestone. Like, level 300 against the back wall. Yeah, that's pretty far. And it was John Mayer,

and he would be singing and playing and playing, and then five seconds later, I would hear that. Oh, shoot. So not worth it. It was such a delay that I was like, I will never do this again. Okay, that's good to know. So nose bleeds to me. Not worth it. But like middle back section. Yeah. I'd say mid, like this 200 level. All right. Could be worth it. But yeah, concerts didn't get. I'm willing to take a worse seat to get a better deal. That's just me personally. Yes, I agree with that. Yep.

Rachel, can I be honest? I love your honesty, always. I think I have the winter blues. Yeah, do you, George. Yeah, I don't know what it is. you like a weather, like depression, happiness person, like depending on what the weather is? It's cold, the gloomy, but you know what I resort to? What? I want to just be in like my coziest things. And do you know it has the coziest stuff?

What's that? Cozy Earth? That's the cure to my winter blues, Rachel. You nailed it. I believe it. And get this, they have a stay cozy sale going on right now. And I was just doing our laundry, as I do, because I'm a 21st century man. Wow.

And I was folding the laundry. And my wife has like 19 PJ sets. And then I got the cozy earth ones, and there was such a difference. I immediately knew without even seeing the label that these were the cozy earth ones. A hundred percent. So luxurious. Oh, yeah. The sheets, the pajamas, the socks, the joggers.

I mean, we have so much cozy earth stuff. Honestly, like, we go and buy it. Winston went and bought a bunch of stuff without a promo code. I was like, babe, you got to get a deal. That pains my soul. Learn from George. No, but cozy earth, they are doing an incredible deal. Okay, are you ready for this?

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All right. Last relationship, George, kids are children. How do we deal with these guys? Teaching kids how to handle money with friends as they get older. So I'm not at this point yet. I got it, you know, like a one-year-old. But you've had to now deal with the kids are going to Susie's and they're all going to go to this thing and it's going to cost money.

Do you just like, do they tell you how much it's going to be? How does it work? We haven't had a lot of that. I have heard of like on Instagram or like TikTok. Mom's charging for like snacks and stuff at the house. Like that's weird. Like hey, five dollars. Susie had a fruit roll up.

Yeah. And I'm happy to do stuff. Like we had one of Caroline's little friends over and I was coming home from work and Winston was there. But I was like, oh, I'll grab chick flag. And she was still there. So I was like, well, just grab her a kid's meal too. Like people kind of help out.

You know, if Amelia's over, you know, her friend's mom order pizza. Like it's just, it's not really a tip for tat thing. What we run into more and I'm having, I don't know how to do this, so this is very new. But it's navigating what other kids have. Oh. And now they want it. That's interesting.

I know. And the things these girls want at a young age. Is it insane? I was into like limited two and caboodles. Like we were into like cheap. Things that weren't crazy expensive. These kids, yeah, they're into like. Now like, mommy, can I have an iPad too?

Yeah. And not like, she's $900. And not always like her closest friends, our oldest. But girls in the greatest. And again, it's not a moral thing, because I don't want to be one of these people that's like, oh, you should never buy that for your kids. It's not even that. Is it like a Louis Vuitton?

Like, what are we talking? No, Lou Llemon. Oh, Lulu Lemon. But to me, that's like a Louis for a fourth grader. Yeah. But like, it's, yeah, like, you know, Stanley Cups. Oh, yeah, it's 50 bucks a cup. And again, I understand we're in probably a quirky part of Nashville and not every,

I don't know what people deal with, but I do think it's becoming more prevalent around because of the internet and social media. These kids just see. What do you think part of it is the moms? Because the moms are wearing Lulu and they have the Stanleys and the girls want to be like mom. Yeah, kids are going to be exposed to things. I don't know how they're being exposed. I don't know if it's other friends at school.

I don't know if it's social media. I don't know if it's the moms. I don't know. So somehow they are being aware that these things exist. Yeah. So what do you have a, this is not in here as a plug, but I want to say your kids books are a great way to help parents teach these concepts to their kids. like contentment and generosity and gratitude.

Yeah, your little ones. I know. But yeah, that's where this, all this stuff gets a little tricky. And if you've done the baby steps, right? Like we've done it since we've been married. 15 years. You and Whitney, baby steps seven. Like, right?

And some of you out there have been doing this for a while. And you're at a point where you're like, okay, yeah, we can afford the $35 Stanley. But just because you can afford it. Doesn't mean you have to. You know? I see this with kids in this area. Like they're driving cars that are so. much nicer than mine at 16.

Like their very first car is a brand new $60,000 car that I'm like, oh my gosh. That's wild. What are we doing here? This is crazy. Well, then your expectations, that's my thing. Yes. Like that's Winston. The biggest thing is like setting normal.

What is normal in our household? You may get spikes of fun, spikes of Disney World, spikes of going with Papa Dave and me and me on a trip. Like, there may be spikes in life and that's great. But like, what's our baseline is normal? And driving a car, that's normal. You're setting a base line. line, right?

Yeah. Of what's normal. So how are we setting our kids up well for expectations in the real world? Yeah. If they're driving a brand new range rover at 16, they're not going to go buy like a used Camry at 18. It's just not happening. Like they have a certain expectation that's hard to break.

I know. And you as the parent, you set the tone for that. You do. I know. That's why work, grit, sacrifice, some suffering. Yeah. Makes it all in there. Putting a cocktail.

Drink up. Shoot it back. Put some hair on your chest I don't know These are things I've heard I know, I don't know what to do Anyways, it's tough Kids and money

But I feel like spending the night At friends houses Or whatever the thing is Yeah, I know I think unless it's a crazy Like you're going to the trampoline park And it's going to be 30 bucks 50 bucks a kid or whatever

Then I feel like the parents should go Hey, let me make sure that we cover this You know what I mean? Yes Like you don't need to cover it for all five kids going Oh right Be up with what it's going to cost Yeah, that's fair

I don't know Venmo each other I guess that's or Yeah Give the kid money. And I think, I mean, I see the good in people. I do think parents want to. I don't think people are looking to, like, get a free ride off of other parents. Maybe there are people like that.

But I do feel like people are very up to be like, oh, yeah, can we chip in? Right? Do you experience that? I don't have friends yet. Like, not in the kids world. You know, like my wife has. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah.

That's fair. That's fair. So we'll experience that soon enough. Yep. But it's a good time. Oh, man. All right. So what are the keys here?

My take is communicate early, openly, and often, and set the boundaries where you need to set them for what's right for you and your family. Yes. And then don't, I'd rather you choose guilt over resentment. That's what happens is people go, I'm just going to be resentful later that I didn't speak up. Just be guilty that you brought it up.

I'd rather that. Yes. You'll sleep better at night. I think that's my thing is, yep, is communication through all of this, the friends, the family, be open and honest. And then there is something to be said. adult to adult, like when you lay out there, their response and reaction is not your responsibility.

Like you've set what's best for you. You don't control that. You don't control that. And that is so hard. It's so hard because you love these people, right? So you don't want to bring harm or hurt them. But yeah, communicating things out loud in a kind, graceful way.

Tone is everything. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. It's very important. Beauty, grace. All right, George, well, before we get to guilty as charge, Remember, this is the pink drink. This is the sparkling pink moktail. Sparkling pink moktail.

I'm going to give this, I could not improve on it, so I'm going to go 10 out of 10. Yeah. I thought it was the right amount of... It was a little tart for me. I like tart. It's tart and sweet. It's got sparkles in it, so I'm going 10 out of 10. How about you?

Be honest. 8 out of 10. Okay. Solid B. If you like raspberries, you will love this. Here's what in it. Frozen raspberries, lemonade, lemon lime, selter. We use lemon lime poppy in this drink because we're...

extra and raspberry sorbet which was a fun little treat in there it kind of melted as you drink it it was fun and uh this is not in here but there was some level of sparkle edible glitter is that what's in here i feel like you should make that very clear before a man drinks this um and it costs one ninety two per glass that's not bad and let me tell you the kids are going to love this mock tail that would be a fun like birthday party yes like put it in a big punch bowl kind of thing it could be fun I like it. So the recipes in the show notes, give it a try this weekend.

And I think your kids are going to go with old Uncle George here, 10 out of 10 on this one. Great. All right, now it's time for Guilty as charged. And this is where our producer Kelly gives us a new guilty charge question every week.

If we're guilty, take a sip. Kelly. All right. Have you ever or do you still mooch off your parents even though you're grown? Oh, 100%. No, I can. One comes to mind,

and that is my parents for some reason have a AAA membership and they buy mine. Oh, that's nice. They have me added on. Yes. I don't know. It just keeps renewing and I keep getting one in the mail so I go, thanks, dad.

Oh, I love it. That's such a dad move to be like, you need AAA, it's very good. Guess you get stuck. You know, I'm like, thanks, Max, you're the best. Thanks, Matt. Is you not saying Max? Well, he goes by Max.

His real name is Majid, which is Middle Eastern. He's from Egypt. Wow. Let me try that. Say it again? Majid. Majid. Yeah. That's pretty good.

So he goes by Max. Just a little easier. Max. Name that movie. Max. Your boy. Goofy? A goofy movie?

The Grinch. Max. Oh, I was thinking Max from a goofy movie. Also a hit. Oh, that's a good one. So AAA is one I think of. There may be more that I'm not. I used to mooch off their cell phone plan because they had the senior plan.

I was going to say, I have a company cell phone. Oh, is that mooching? I don't know. It feels a little bit. Dave, technically, technically. Do you have it? Yeah. Okay, good.

Let me see it better. But I don't feel like I'm mooching. Okay. Mine would be if there's a really nice restaurant and I don't want to pay for it, I'll be like, hey, mom and dad, you don't go to dinner? And you're like, there's this great new place. There's like this five-star Michelin. No, I'm just kidding.

And but then Dave always going to pay. Dave and Sharon are like, we got the bill. Oh, yeah, they will, yes. So I will, yeah. Would he be so shocked if you were like, no, I got this one? Would they just be like, what is happening? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

But see, Sharon's not like that always. Like, we went on a trip, a girl's trip, like, two years ago. And there were certain times mom was, like, paying for her own. And I was like, excuse me. Oh, like, she was like, I'm covering you guys. We are all back here. Yeah. She's getting a hot dog off of the vendor.

Well, she could smell the entitlement. She would not today. I guess so, I know. Not today. And I'm way more shameless with that stuff than Denise is. You'll call it out. So guilty. Guilty.

But that's a thing parents do. Like, if I'm out with my parents, They want to cover the meal. I think so. That's a very sweet thing. Just let them. I hear you. Okay.

All right, George. Well, this has been fun. If you guys have Guiltiest charged ideas, DM them to us via Instagram or other places because we see them. And we actually have used a couple. That's right. We really appreciate it. Make sure to subscribe and leave us a review if you're loving this. And catch our episode on a $175,000 salary earners call themselves poor coming up next.

Or if you're listening on podcast, click the link below. And we'll see you guys next Thursday on an all new episode of Smart Money Happy Hour.