Smoke Sesh - 2 be cringe & chaotic is 2 be free

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

Happy Thursday! I know I was on a once a week schedule, but I wanted to catch up a little today as I missed our twice a week hang out sesh. We do a quick episode and talk full moon & full circle experiences, why journaling is so important and catching up with yourself. We talk vagina 101 and iuds & ph balance, we talk Lana’s new boyfriend and why the class clown trope is so attractive. We talk queen on chaos Julia fox and why she is a inspiration to the masses, how to get a phat ass, and shroom experiences and stories. Thank you for joining me for this random surprise ep and I’ll see you guys Tuesday! Have a safe and wonderful weekend MUAH !

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning you guys, hello! I know, shocking, right? Hannah is up and recording again. She just released on Tuesday. What's going on?

Listen, I felt called. I'm feeling driven, especially after that full moon last night. Did you guys see it? Oh my god, it was so fucking big and beautiful. And I just had a really good day yesterday and I've been trying to get very productive recently. So I just wanted to get on here hop on here you know and hang out for a little bit it might not be a full hour we'll see it could be two who fucking knows what's going on in my brain today but i just want to get some more content out to you guys because i love you and i want to connect with you guys a little bit more and i have a lot on my mind so let's get into it you know what this morning i woke up and i was like i need coffee because i was staying at my boyfriend's and he doesn't have coffee shit on

him right now and i've been going out recently and getting trying new places you know switching it up and the only places i could really think of were so far away so i was like fuck it i need coffee asap like i woke up at 11 o'clock 11 it is my day off to be fair but like holy shit i never sleep in that much uh i usually try to not let myself like i could probably sleep into like three if i wanted to but i love waking up early because i feel like i have a whole day ahead of me i have so much time to get shit done but since it is my day off you know i wanted to listen to my body let it do whatever it need to needed to but I woke up at 11 um and I was like I need caffeine in my system ASAP and the only thing I could really think of that was close was Starbucks

and I'm not a huge fan of Starbucks I'm really not it's just it never hits quite the way I wanted to like compared to all these smaller coffee shops that I go to they put their heart and their soul and their fucking ass into my coffee starbucks workers like love them i know it's probably like they have like like uh what is it recipes that they need to follow but shit it just does not hit the same anyways i woke up and i don't like matcha i would get my usual swamp water as you've heard about before but i don't like matcha from starbucks because it smells and tastes like fish and that freaks me out and also you you know matcha is low quality when it has that fishy smelly flavor oh my god anyways it freaks me out thinking about it so I got a chai

tea latte which was good but god damn Starbucks like every time I go just lets me down the only thing that doesn't let me down is the refreshers because I quite honestly cannot find them anywhere else but I got myself some Starbucks got to my house and I yesterday was well hold on there's a big reason why i journal and there's a big reason why i kind of tell you guys to journal sure there's like many different things that help me when i when it comes to journaling like i love journaling because it's a great way to mind dump or it's a great way to you know organize your thoughts or just reconnect with yourself and reconnect with the gratitude that you're feeling and experiencing but also like i said with um the last podcast i put out and full moon things that you can do

visualizing yourself where you want to be I you know wanted to do a little full moon ritual so I pulled out just like a random old journal that I had just to grab a piece of paper and you know I was flipping through it very curious and I came across a journal entry from 2020 or 2021 where I was you know in an old place I was doing old things doing an old job and I was writing about who I was and then I started writing about who I wanted to be and I was talking about how I visualized myself in my own apartment with big space and plenty of plants surrounding me and big open windows and I went down to the exact detail of I want an altar set up that I can you know sit at and I can really connect with the universe and connect with myself

and you know I have space to myself and there's tons of pinks and greens around me and gold accents and I was reading this and I had to take a pause because I looked up and I looked around me and I am literally sitting in what I was visualizing a year two years ago I am now sitting in what I wanted for myself without even realizing and without even connecting the dots Like, sure, you know, you have goals, you're working your way up there, but you're never really sure if they're going to turn out exactly how you think or how you believe. But it was mind-blowing and shocking how detailed I got in this journal entry and then how detailed everything came to life around me. Like, I talked about having my own, like, espresso machine. I talked about my fridge being filled with fresh fruit and veggies that I get at the farmer's market. like crazy weird details that are just simply parts of my life right now that were not parts

of my life back then and so you if you do have a journal I really really recommend it you like not going back in time all the time but you when you need that little like kind of reference of how you've grown and how far you've come taking a moment to kind of step back and read through them and kind of evaluate where you are at because it is fucking mind-blowing how far I have come in just a short amount of time simply by believing in myself and simply by putting the work and the effort in um even when I was in phases of like if it if you're kind of ignoring the whole life path thing even when I was in phases of like depression deep deep depression like after breakups like I first started journaling after my first ever breakup when I was like what 18 freshman year

of college you know I was naive to what love was but I still you know you still have those heartbreaks um it is still a breakup you're still moving through the motions whether it is a serious breakup or not or whether if it was a serious relationship or not you still feel that within yourself and I started journaling simply as a way of just like getting those overwhelming thoughts that sadness out of my head and looking back and seeing even those journal entries where it was like okay January my heart was fucking broken I'm writing five journal entries a day simply because I cannot get this motherfucker out of my head to you know four months later and I'm feeling more hopeful I'm connecting with friends my my journal entries are switching to gratitude to six months

later where I don't even remember his name anymore and I am off doing my own fucking thing and living my best life. It is a great way to just kind of keep track of your life and not get lost in the mess and also, you know, hold that space for yourself to really understand how far you've come and really take appreciation for that. So thank you to the full moon for making me feel compelled to, you know, dive into some of those old journal entries because I'm literally sitting in my dream life right now. And a part of my work that I did yesterday for the full moon was writing where I want to go so it's gonna be super exciting to see where this takes me and you know where i end up in life and if all those hopes and dreams that i wrote down yesterday will come true you know but

i guess if i just believe in myself and i keep working hard who fucking knows it might be reality sooner than i think so whenever i talk about journaling and you're like girl that's bullshit it's not it's not it really does help and it really does put things into perspective and it's super fun to look back on even if you know you're collaging even like these journal entries are not like cute and cursive and you know perfectly lined and dated no this is just a hot mess random writing like a random fucking green pen that i find on the ground it is just listening to that um voice inside your head when you feel compelled to do so and doing it and getting it out of your system so I really recommend you know writing down your hopes and dreams and then coming

back like a few years later looking back on what you have journaled about so far and really taking a moment to appreciate how far you've come and where you're going to go simply by believing in yourself so love you I hope you all had a great full moon anyways just got some big girl shit done that I've kind of been putting off for a while now I have an IUD as you guys know love she's been my best friend for the past three years we were not good friends for the first 15 minutes i cannot lie but i think you know our time is running short and i need to get a new one since the skyla only lasts three years um and so i had to find a new doctor that would actually place the one i wanted because this other doctor that i've seen would only place one type which i felt was

kind of odd so i was like i'd rather go to a more professional doctor one that can is open to what the patient wants and so i found her and i get a new one in two weeks oh my god i'm just hoping and praying that they provide me with some sort of fucking pain medication because if not i am going to need to be very very high or something like i'm going to need to treat myself at home or something because that shit is painful my mom was like yeah i was talking to your dad and he was like why do they need pain medication and he was she was like literally could you imagine getting a vasectomy with no pain medication no anesthesia could you imagine like shit i'll take a i will take a needle to my cervix if it means i am not gonna feel that procedure yeah like i will take

anything at this point so hopefully now that it's like a better doctor she's like an actual ob-gyn like in a hospital you know they will have more access to that but fingers crossed i will maybe i'll do a vlog maybe i'll do an iud vlog for you guys but in honor of that little news let's load a little bowl uh let's get into it i need a bowl now that i've gotten some big anxiety big girl shit out of the way you know you got to treat yourself a little bit afterwards so let's hit this oh my god oh my god all my weed almost flew off my table my cough was so strong and almost blew it off my table oh my god okay i have some updates i know i was literally just about to go into questions but i took a two-hour break to play phone tag

with a bunch of doctors because here's the thing iuds birth control all that shit post roe v wade cost a lot of money a lot of money and a lot of doctors simply are refusing to place things well depending on where you live where i live doctors physicians can refuse birth control if they would like if they feel so um or can only play certain kinds if they like or if they feel comfortable with it which is like the second's fair like if you only feel comfortable doing certain things i don't want you to get out of your comfort zone especially with like surgical procedures but like you know it's kind of fucked up that some people can deny people birth control um so i have just been calling around everywhere trying to find a doctor that will accept my insurance and

is a doctor that I like and is a female and sounds nice and I finally found one doctor who I was talking about earlier who I made the appointment with and the nurse just called me was like we don't accept your insurance and I was like okay well like how much is it out of pocket like whatever I need an IUD I need something to protect me I cannot I cannot get pregnant right now like that is simply not an option and here's where it's incredible because I feel like after roe v wade was over overturned um a lot of women got together and a lot of people got together to simply elevate these um like resources that we do have and really donate to them and really take advantage of them and try and make them make them an option for people especially people who really

need it and um you know i was talking to her and she's like okay well let me go check with the nurse we might have something that we can do for you and i was like okay because like a iud without insurance is like sixteen hundred dollars like like triple my rent like insane sixteen hundred dollars sure it lasts three years but it's like sixteen hundred dollars plus three hundred dollars to get it inserted and removed plus like 150 for like the general appointment and i was like holy shit that's a lot of money out of pocket but like fuck this is a nice doctor i feel comfortable um around her I feel like it would be a good appointment like fuck it you know I might just pay out of pocket like shit let me talk to my mom make sure this is a good idea and the nurse was

like well let me talk to my nurses I think we might have something to help you and so I called her back and she was like so I talked to the nurses and there's some people who um have you know donated to our facility and um have offered free iud insertions and they will cover completely you know the cost of the device for people if they if their insurance doesn't cover it and cover birth control options for them if their insurance doesn't cover it or if um you know they can't pay for it out of pocket and i was like shut up like that's incredible she's like these reps came in a short while ago and you know we haven't really had any people who have really needed it so yeah we would love to offer that for you incredible like are you kidding me i feel so

blessed because like holy shit that is so much money out of pocket and the only other people that were in my like insurance network were men which like i'm sorry i you can say i have a stigma against men but to feel genuinely comfortable especially at an appointment that is like somewhat painful or a little invasive yeah i don't need any more men down there like no offense maybe actually full offense like i know they're probably in it for good reasons but like i really need a woman and i needed a woman who also like advocates for other women and hearing that like you know there are people out there doing the work donating this money donating these opportunities to women who really do need it and like making sure that these like are these are still options

for people even people who can't afford it or people who maybe can't find it in certain areas you know birth control is still an option so that was super awesome and incredible for you know women advocating for each other this morning um and now i'm a lot more excited for my iud i feel like it's a gift now i'm like oh i gotta get a new one for free holy shit so this is just a reminder like ask around if you if you cannot afford these things but you do really need them take advantage of the opportunities that are presented these networks are set up to help you to you know uplift you there are people out there fighting for you and your rights so really just ask around look out for it and i guarantee you will find it but you deserve to be taken care of

and you deserve to have these options even if other people are fighting against it oh my god someone commented and said no one talks about how inspiringly unhinged julia fox is and i agree i love her i am kind of obsessed with her i will always be down for the weird girls i will always ride for the weird girls the weird girls are my favorite i too resonate with the weird girls and she is a weird girl but she is like the weird girl of all weird girls how many times can hannah say weird girls in a minute take a shot or load a bowl every single time you hear anyways um she is super inspiring simply like she's very inspiring to like the um kind of just like uh you know being okay with being quote-unquote cringe and like feeling free from cringe and kind

of freeing yourself i feel like being cringe is truly being free like i can't lie because think about it when she first hit like quote-unquote headlines like you know you found out about her when she was um seeing or quote-unquote seeing um kanye west you know what i mean um and a lot of people hated her for her eye makeup for the way she presented herself for literally anything that you can tear a woman apart for hold on i need a sip of coffee but now everybody loves her like everybody loves her and guess what she hasn't changed a single thing she has been the same exact person she has been throughout the whole entire thing like expressing herself how it is and expressing herself how she wants and through fashion and through makeup i think she's such

a weird person and i love that about her i think it's very inspiring you know releasing yourself from this idea of having to present yourself in a certain way to certain people and just allowing yourself to kind of be you and be wherever that creative direction flows i think she's always honed into you know that creative flow and followed it kind of no matter where it goes and it's gone to some fucking weird places for her so shout out i do think she is inspiringly unhinged and i love a good unhinged weird girl someone asked thoughts on stuffed animals very or opinion on stuffed animals and it's a very interesting question because like first of all very odd like i said i love when you guys send me weird questions oh my god my quesadilla is done did you hear that

my quesadilla is ready anyways oh my oven has an air fryer setting and i've been obsessed with it recently like i'm not gonna get a microwave i'm simply gonna use my oven it takes it takes the same amount of time and it tastes way better so 10 out of 10 recommend using your oven but um opinions on stuffed animals i wish i had more stuffed animals around me i think that's the one thing i could really hone in on like honoring my inner child is simply having more stuffed animals i just am very particular about my stuffed animals when i was little i had a ton like a shit ton like i collected them i was obsessed with them i literally have five of those big like moving tubs those plastic tubs full of stuffed animals from when i was a child that i simply cannot

release like i am too obsessed with i cannot get like get rid of like i cannot get rid of that part of my childhood um because all of them played like a specific part in my childhood and like from like i would carry a different one during certain periods of my life like very interesting but i wish i had more around me in my home i feel like that's kind of the one decoration thing that's missing the thing is i'm very particular um and it has to jump out to me like i'm not people are gonna come for me for this i'm not a huge fan of squish mellows i don't know i wasn't a huge fan of webkins so i it kind of goes hand in hand like i i i like the webkins like online part but i didn't really give a fuck about the collecting part which is a i think a

huge thing of why squishmallows like i'm not a huge fan personally is because i'm not huge on the collecting part like i like having a bunch of different kinds of things not a bunch of different kinds of one thing does that make sense so i do there are a few independent artists that i follow who have come out with like cute little plushies that I kind of want to invest in and I want to invest in some cute pillows and some yeah just fun plushies that I can carry around one company company that I do know of that I've been meaning to invest in and somebody that I purchased from for my um nephew and now my niece I'm probably gonna get her some when she gets a little bit older she's still like fucking like not even a month old so she's good on stuffed animals but

uh is jellycat i love jellycat i love the way that they design their uh stuffed animals i think they're so like super cute high quality adorable and yeah definitely gonna buy some of those for my nieces and nephews and maybe for me maybe to have some cute guys just around the apartment you know what i mean but stuffed animals love love 10 out of 10 oh my gosh i need to take a break to eat some of my quesadilla speaking of someone asked how to get a fatter ass and that was like my one and only goal for like the past six months was to get a fatter ass and i made this video that kind of went viral it's funny um but it was like tips to how to get a fat ass you had to eat a lot of avocado i swear by avocado but just healthy fats and take a lot

of back shots i think like back shots just help open your hips and help widen your hips and like inherently that's gonna you know make your your hips seem wider and your ass seem fatter i don't know if that's true probably not just something funny to add in there but literally i swear by the avocado rule uh yeah you will have a fat ass if you eat avocado with like every fucking meal which i am doing right now my favorite my go-to especially while i was nannying during the summers um or i was a nanny for like two years but um one of my favorite things to make was i would just take a couple bell peppers like you know that you get those three packs of like three different colored bell peppers cut two and a half so you have some variety in color um throw a little

olive oil on them throw them in a pan cook them up till they're soft and then throw them between a tortilla with some um just some cheese and then eat it with an avocado oh my god i don't know why that is one of my favorite comfort meals but also it's my favorite way to eat avocado 10 out of 10 recommend or you can just make like a little guac with it that's what i'm doing this is a good question somebody asked how do i set goals when i don't know what i want to do with my life and here's the thing i had to have this me and my boyfriend talking about this the other day because you know it is hard to goal set especially when you maybe are on a unconventional path which we both are we're kind of just trying to find our own place within the world and

um it is hard i i i agree goal making is very hard but it doesn't mean it shouldn't happen and i think goals are very important to set but you do not need to base your goals or even set your goals on what you want this big future thing to be it is okay to have no idea what the future holds every time i think i have any sort of grasp or concept on what the future is going to hold it completely 360s and not in a bad way sometimes in a good way sometimes in a motivating way sometimes in a full 360 way but here's the thing the harder I try to grasp and control my future the less actual control I'm gonna have on my life so the goal making that I am I am actually making is not to um grasp onto some future concept that is kind of impossible to grasp onto it is to

better myself and push myself forward and into whatever that might be so instead of trying to make the leap of figuring out what the fuck your future is going to hold and making goals based on that why don't you just set small goals in your everyday life that slowly work you up to figuring it out okay so maybe your goal sorry of the hiccups maybe your goal one day is to hmm i am very interested in this new class i want to go try it i don't have you know i'm a little nervous i'm a little scared whatever fuck it send it you never know where it's going to take you you never know what path it's going to lead you down you don't know if this is going to be a hobby you're going to try for a month or a hobby you're going to try for you know years to come make a whole business

out of it completely change your life it's all about taking that first step now goals can be anything it could be yeah like trying new things it could be like changing things about yourself not that I think those are relatively positive goals because uh I mean change is good but I don't think we should focus heavily on you know what we dislike about ourselves but it's taking those little everyday steps to better yourself which will set you up for somewhat knowing what you want to do which will push you in that direction it is just taking those small everyday steps that you need to take so like to be fair my first steps that i started taking in my like kind of wellness journey and figuring out my shit after post like severe severe depression um was just

like okay we need to get on a good hygiene and um eating schedule straight up and that was my goal for like a month and I did it and it became a routine and it got easier to integrate into my life and then I moved on to my next step or my next goal that seemed to call me which was okay now we need to get a job or like whatever it is you know but you know goals can be quote unquote small goals are still goals no matter how big or how large they are it is important to at least set them for yourself so you feel like you're working towards something though and i feel like that's very important but it like i said it doesn't have to be some huge future thing that you can only accomplish in 50 years it can be little things that you can add to your everyday life that kind

of make you feel accomplished and better yourself today me i've been putting off my doctor anxiety for a long time now like my iud is she should be done for she should be out of my body by now it has been over three years i don't know how she's still kicking and i am still you know protected so i've had a lot of doctor anxiety and i have been putting it off and ignoring it which is not good for my body or for my brain or for the doctors in the future um so you know finally called made that appointment figured it out took the time to get that shit figured out so that i can move forward with my life feel that sense of relief that I have it figured out and then in the future after I get it feel that sense of relief that it's over with do you know what I mean but

it's sometimes just ripping the band-aid off doing those hard things for yourself or doing those things that you have wanted to do for a while and simply just taking that first step those should be your everyday goals you know but literally they can be anything as long as you're setting them that's the key point someone has what was your most interesting stream experience and do you have any tips for when on them yes I do have tips I've been meaning to do some and I'm hoping to do some here soon um just because I think it's very beneficial uh this is a joke lol if any if anybody's listening me trying to cover myself legally jokes anyways let me just tell you about my experience and you can kind of take it from there um most interesting thing that I have really

experienced was here's the thing shrooms are very mild compared to the large mass amount of drugs that i have done in my life um in my very short life shrooms are i feel like very mild i know because you're like what that's crazy they're a hallucinogen yes they are very intense the visuals are you know they're there the walls are kind of breathing but they're not as intense as like acid and then also it's very similar to i feel like what molly or weed would feel like in that euphoric sense um there's just this interesting connect to nature and to life that it brings that i really really love and that i really enjoy and it makes you kind of question things about yourself that you maybe have been avoiding or really just forcing you to kind of deep dive inward on

yourself I have talked about how I've abused this though I did do shrooms for about seven months of my life continuously over and over again that led for me to not do it for a long time it any any drug can be addicting specifically for me the ones that do bring that euphoric sense are addicting simply because I'm chasing that constantly throughout my life my goal now is to be able to find it you know in my everyday life without the help of these things but I do think if you do use it correctly it can be used as a really nice tool especially for people with depression and anxiety and all that stuff i feel like it a it kind of not that it's completely shroom related but i did use it in a period of my life where i was unsure of who i was and it did

help me kind of lead lead myself in that direction confidently um but the first time that i really ever did them was in was in my boyfriend's like house at in his room and it was super cute because was like our second date maybe and it was during the pandemic so like I kind of had to sneak out to see him because I was still living with my parents and they were very very anxious about the pandemic you know no interaction with people no leaving the house you know mom or dad will go to the grocery store to get food that's it like don't leave because you know we didn't know the scope of it and that is how people should have been you know thinking about it absolutely I on the other hand was you know talking to a boy during this time so I was really wanting to go

over there so literally i like snuck out of my house after i heard my parents go to sleep and at like 11 30 12 o'clock at night drove 45 minutes to his house got there with the intentions of doing shrooms he was already on shrooms but he was so cute because i walked upstairs and his whole bedroom was like set up in this perfect like shroom kind of environment he had like blankets on the ground and he had all his pillows on the ground so it was like a little not like a bed but it was like a little area on the ground and he had this like small table with like all his dab stuff set up and like shrooms he had water he had snacks he had fun lights going he had good music playing and i was like wow this is incredible like this is so sweet anyways

that's kind of the environment you want to set up for yourself you do need to be in a comfortable environment i don't think shrooms are something you can just take and then go on with your day with or like be in public or any of that sort of thing I think parks are great I think getting out in nature is great and I also think setting yourself up in your own environment is very important especially if you do it correctly um fun lighting is always a fun thing I usually always sit on the ground when I'm doing them I'm never like on my bed or on a couch I feel like it's way more comfortable to be touching the earth for some reason or like to be grounded in some sort of sense um and yeah it's all about just comfortability and being open to what the experience is gonna be um

I remember my favorite experience that I ever had on shrooms was the first time I ever took them which was still at his house um which when I mean the first time I ever took them they weren't like it wasn't like the first time but it's the first time I had taken enough to the point that I was like okay this is like an actual trip this isn't just like I'm eating a stem and like kind of maybe feeling something but is it my head you know like this was like no i'm feeling it you know what i mean and he had passed out because he had already been on shrooms for like an hour before me and it was like what 5 a.m by this time and i was laying in his bedroom and we had made it through a whole album and the gorillas album came up specifically it was um oh my god what album was it but it was

the um fuck which one was it i'm oh it's the plastic beach album the plastic beach album started playing and the sun was rising and i don't know i just laid next to him and was just listening to this whole album kind of just with my own thoughts like staring out the window looking at the birds looking at the sun rising and it was just like a beautiful beautiful experience i don't know why just that simple simple moment was just like i don't know it was incredible i loved it very interesting i haven't had any bad experiences with shrooms really other than the time where i took like 10 grams with him and we ended up just like sitting in each other's laps and like rocking back and forth literally like just not thinking like i was like we're just breathing

through this trip basically it was way too intense um so be careful don't take a lot what you're thinking is probably enough or you need less especially for first timers and be safe and be in a comfortable environment that's what i probably would have told younger hannah um as the best possible rules of thumbs and make what make sure you're with good people like sure i was with him and i hadn't really uh spent a lot of time with him and i was anxious and nervous about that but he was someone that genuinely brought a lot of peace and a lot of comfort to me for some sort of reason um i feel like you just you inherently in your gut know who those people are and those are the kind of people you want to be with you don't want to be with the people who are like

texting you like scary photos when you're like i'm high and they're like let me freak this person out no that's not the vibe you want you want it to be very peaceful you want it to be very like um just like kind of what's the word i'm looking for i don't know peaceful i guess yeah you just don't want anybody to fuck with you during it so make sure the people that you are with or and i do recommend being with people i don't recommend being by yourself um and if you are by this by yourself or if you are the only one at least have somebody else with you um but yeah i love them and i especially love them during the summer and the fall and like spring wintertime no wintertime is just surviving i don't think that's the time to do it but

yeah i do think shrooms have a special place in my heart and i do really enjoy them and i don't know why listening to the plastic beach album was so incredible and like mind-blowing for me maybe you just need to give it a listen but yeah i would highly recommend listening to that album you will realize what music sounds good and what music doesn't specifically on shrooms like i some songs come on and i'm like what the fuck is playing like no offense to mac miller i love mac miller i love him i think he's incredible but the time that i was on like 10 grams my boyfriend turned on some mac miller and it happened to be just like a sad song and i literally out loud was like what the fuck is he on like i cannot hear this right now like

i am trying to breathe through this trip and i cannot like have a any dose of sadness in my head right now unfortunately like please change it love him though i think he's a great and incredible when i was on shrooms i was like turn this shit off some of his music i think could have been really good but it it was like a specific song that was just like super depressing i was like no next skip please so it's just very interesting and i think it's uh shrooms have been one of my favorite experiences um and i'm excited to kind of travel and possibly do them in new places as well and um yeah hey girl of the pod my question to you is what is your opinion on mrs lana del rey's man choices or boyfriend choices there's recently been some pictures of her current man like

uh kissing the dog or something and like his cousin apparently and being just kind of weird i mean she does have a poor taste in men i mean she dated that cop so what can we really expect from the queen but I just wanted to know what your thoughts are on why someone so beautiful date is dating someone that gross or has history dating people that gross um anyways I love the pod and my name is Rumi I forgot to introduce myself at the beginning bye I love Lana Del Rey and I think her new boyfriend is a hopefully perfect fit I have noticed I stalked his Instagram account the other day just to like check it out because there were some weird ass photos on there but i loved it i love the authenticity of it i loved how chaotic it was i love how it's kind of

its own art form and i found i saw that our queen julia fox had been liking his shit up until like 2019 so they must be friends or they must know each other they must fuck with each other so i kind of trust it you know what i mean he seems like a weirdo he seems like he might take care of her he seems like kind of wholesome and you know that like that like class clown kind of way you know like he would really take care of her he doesn't really seem like a fuck boy they seem like their own kind of weird people together and i love that for her i'm very excited for this new relationship but yes i agree the ones in the past maybe not the best yes the cop was very concerning but this guy seems like kind of a weirdo and a good challenge for her which i think will lead

to a lot of really intense love and a really intense love between them too which is i think very exciting for both of them um some people are like i can't wait till they break up we're gonna have a great album but it's like oh my god that is so sad you can't be rooting for their breakup literally the the day that they finally post together like are you kidding me that's horrible like you can have good music and have it be about love you know what i mean like i'm hoping it kind of spirals in that direction like it does really work out between them two uh fingers crossed i'm just a sucker for love and i think everybody's deserving of it but yeah i think he looks like a weirdo and i love that you know i love a good weirdo like i said um but i haven't seen those

photos you were talking about i can't lie um i did like uh i do recommend going through his Instagram though it's good for some laughs he he is that class clown kind of weirdo vibe that I personally really enjoy so shout out Miss Lana I hope you're in love for the rest of your life I really do hi Hannah first of all I love you and I love the pod I listen to it all the time even when I've already listened to an episode I just replay it anyways um I'll just get right into it my best friend has been kind of ditching me for the past couple of weeks-ish, um, and I'm always wanting to do stuff with her, and she's always kind of saying no, because she's, I guess she's busy, and she's made a lot of new friends, which is, like, totally a vibe, and I'm so happy for her,

but she's kind of just kicked me to the curb, um, and started, like, smoking and drinking a lot, and that's fine, like, but recently she got caught, um, after having, like, a really bad weed experience, and is now grounded from hanging out, like, with the people that she was smoking with and now all of a sudden she wants to hang out with me again and I just don't want to be her rehab friend anyways love you tell me what you think thank you so much and I hope you have a great day oh my gosh okay you mentioned that she's a Gemini and you're a Virgo which I think makes a lot of sense she sounds very chaotic and a little unsure of herself and Geminis do have a tendency and just people in general to get lost within the um new friends or new experiences that

they are making um one big thing i think about friendships and one big thing that i think is very important is to allow your friends to change and find those things about themselves and if they need that space to make bad decisions to do those things then do so um which i think you have accepted but the big key part is yes you don't want to be her rehab friend i think you kind of like worded that perfectly so thank you so much um you know you don't want to be that friend that's just like second pick you don't want to be that friend that's just like the backup like of course there is some wholesomeness and being like that that that um that friend that you can always rely on the friend that you can always go back to but i just i do think it gets to a point where it feels

odd and it feels like you're being used in a sense and I don't want you to ever feel that way I think if she does want to hang out and maybe she has been blowing her blowing um you off I do think it's important to be honest with your friends and be open with your friends um some of my bestest friends are the ones who are just like straight up with me and just tell me how it is um like and I do that with my friends too we allow each other to voice what we feel especially when it comes to each other and we don't really get mad we just take it as it is like that's how you feel cool or like thank you for telling me this this is the insight i really needed um people do get lost in really bad friends and i do think who you pick to surround yourself with is very important and you

need to pay attention to it um because you know you can get lost in the wrong crowd i'm sure your parents have told you the same thing like make sure you're picking good friends and when i was a kid I used to be like stop judging people so hard like why do you why do I have to pick good friends like why doesn't everybody deserve a good friend but they're not wrong they really aren't who you are friends with kind of um pushes you into different circles or pushes you into different things and it can push you into bad things and it can push you into bad circles um so if you feel like that's happening I do think it's very like fair and honest to be like hey you know I don't appreciate you pushing me off to hang out with these people who are only interested in kind of

doing bad things with you um if that's what you want to do that's cool that's awesome but it's not really my vibe um and if you do want to hang out like we can I don't really want to do that stuff and you also need to make time for me and not only use or like come back to me when those people aren't available you know and i feel like that's a genuine fine thing to ask of a person you know now if she's in the headspace to receive that well is is dependent on her um but you know i do think we should all be there for our friends i do think it might be worth you know hanging out at least again and like you know discussing this or talking about it or seeing where she is and if she's in a good place and you know like helping her out and helping her find that good place but

yeah I do think friends make or break who you are I have had personal friends who then have friends who are like horrible influences and kind of turn them into bad people and like we're still friends to this day but was I honest with them about it was I kind of distancing myself during the thing yes and yes i think those are also totally fair you got to protect yourself um during that time um it's just a matter of will they find themselves or will they kind of lose themselves in it and then you have to make the decision based on that um but yeah who you surround yourself with is very important i think it's important to think about those things and you know is this person a good influence on me do i like this person are they kind to me or do they treat me well

um are do they do they dismiss themselves in a way that makes me think they're gonna dismiss me as well um I think that's a really good question to ask um but yeah it's really easy to lose yourself in people and lose yourself in life in general um and it sucks when it feels like you're the backup friend I get it you don't want to be the rehab friend you don't be the you don't want to be the one who's you know finally the only option and gets picked so I think it's very important to voice these things to um these people like a little communication literally never hurts the only thing that does hurt is having no communication at all okay someone asked um how do you check your ph people always talk about ph and stuff but how do you know what's

normal i think you know it's normal when there's nothing um abnormal going on does that make sense especially with anything going on down there now here's the thing that nobody ever told me and here's what freaked me out your discharge changes throughout the month like the consistency the color the amount it will all and when i mean color i mean not weird colors like it should stay between a clear to a milky white i think that's absolutely normal um but discharge is going to change throughout the month very normal it's just depending on where you are in your ovulation cycle um and so i don't think you should really base it off of that but ph it can be based off of um you know of course there's gonna be a smell down there especially if you are like sweaty or

like you know it's wet and moist like of course there's gonna be somewhat of a smell but it should never smell like strong and it should never smell like uh i hate to use the term fishy but like literally i think that's a very good term um like especially when it's a strong pungent odor i think that's a um sign that your ph is off of course you know um hold on sorry i need to type something but um okay i had to look it up because this is this is this real signs because it goes past just smells because i feel like that's so hard to judge by okay so like i said strong fish-like smell coming from your vagina i'm not talking smell or uh sweat smell i'm not talking normal whatever

discharge smell i'm talking like very strong okay that is going to be a sign gray green or foamy discharge all very abnormal okay probably a sign you might have a yeast infection or just something's thrown off down there um any itching like a lot of itching is just a sign that the ph is thrown off um and i'm talking itching as in like a shit ton okay like a lot a lot a lot not like oh my god i shaved wrong the other day and now my my pussy is itchy i'm talking like it's like a burning itch um, swelling and irritation, um, pain or burning, like I said, and then burning sensation while urinating. All of these things are things that your, um, pH is probably thrown off. But, um, the pH scale measures the acidity of a substance. So it ranges between zero and 14 with zero being

the most acidic, seven being neutral and 14 being the most basic. Um, and I believe the vagina's ph level is like a 3.8 to a 4.5 which means it's the acidic side and its acidity is slightly um decreases as you get older but um yeah i don't know your your vagina is naturally home to different types of healthy acid producing bacteria um and to prevent dryness and maintain a chemical balance your vagina also regularly produces fluid and that fluid contains acids and that's why sometimes when you like wash your underwear you'll have like a white stain it's because like literally you're bleaching your underwear isn't that crazy um but the acidity helps protect it against germs um acid kills harmful bacteria parasites and fungi so it is

important to have a you know balanced kind of um ph but i feel like an unbalanced ph kind of comes from um like um not having safe practices when it comes to um your vagina whether it's like sexual um you know make sure anything you are doing down there is clean and the contact is clean you know dirty hands are not good down there like i said there's bacteria and stuff that need a certain environment to thrive um tight clothing and like you know how people are always like you wanna wear cotton um underwear uh like tight clothing sometimes um reduces airflow and can lead to vaginitis so like you know looser pants cotton underwear i personally have never had an issue with this so i'm good but if this is something that you might you know suspect kind

of give your give your pussy some breathing area um and a lot of sugary processed fruit uh foods like white bread and rice um kind of help prevent yeast or avoiding sugary processed foods um help avoid and prevent yeast infections which um yeast infections are very very common the same way that like um utis are very common urinary tract urinary tract infections yeast infections are also very common I feel like they're more uh I would ask your mom if she has any common things that happen because I started getting a lot of UTIs and then I talked to my mom she's like oh yeah I used to get a lot of them too um so I think it's very important to kind of understand your family health as well um and yeah have those conversations with your mom if you can or if she's willing to

um uh but yeah like my UTIs and stuff like that are always from just like uh you know cross contamination dirty fingers um dirty hands or like you do not want anything want anything from like the back end to the front so when you are in that kind of play time make sure you are not cross-contaminating toys or cross-contaminating fingers anything like that that can lead to throwing off your ph but literally the only thing that throws it off is just um a change in bacteria and like i said it can make it more acidic or it can make it more basic either way there's things that you can do but i don't think you should be worried um you can tell when something's wrong like if you have a yeast infection it's crazy like your pussy itches it swells it's like fishy

it's like a lot's going on you know what i mean when i have a uti it is a lot going on like it it feels like fire to piss it hurts constantly like I feel like I can feel it like shit going wrong down there and like I said key to just to like having a good relationship with your body is simply listening to it but yeah I also had somebody ask like how do you know like if it's if it's like smells bad down there are you worried about it smelling bad down there no because here's the thing i don't have i don't have a yeast infection and i don't have a uti and my ph seems normal because everything seems to be working correctly down there so why would i be concerned does that make sense whatever is a natural smell down there is either

just sweat or it's just you know your discharge and neither of those things you should really be worried about does that make sense um and i feel like a sweat smell is very very different from a smell so you can kind of tell based on that um but yeah vagina 101 that was fun and last but not least i want to touch on the subject of being a chaotic girl i've been trying to reclaim that title after i heard my father use those words on me he said i was a chaotic girl and i was like you know what he is not wrong like me and my boy me and my brother were born um nine years apart and he was very type a you know he went to school all good grades all ap classes he's now a lawyer he has a beautiful family like high levels of achievement right never made a fuss for my

parents never really got in trouble like like perfect perfect child right nine years later and nine years later is why i'm convinced i was an accident but you know i don't hold that against myself my parents don't hold it against me either um nine years later i was born and i've been a chaotic girl ever since and i think it's just because i'm a girl and it's okay to just be a girl sometimes i just made a tiktok and it was like um fuck what did it say it was like when he asks why i need my daily alone and cry time followed by a fat j and a little something yummy it's like literally i'm just a girl sometimes i just need that chaotic energy i need to release i need to do what i need to do and i don't need questions you know i feel like

we all get so set on something and i would like lose myself and stuff sometimes and not in a bad way like in a really good way like i would find so much passion and so much drive in these very random things and my parents thought it was chaotic in some sort of way or they thought it was challenging in some sort of way um to the point that you know i i do think i hold that title very well um i'm constantly ever changing my mind i'm constantly changing i'm constantly trying to better myself to be out there to do something and i would rather be a kind of chaotic girl than be a you know like a quiet reserved girl i can't lie because i've been her and i've been the quiet reserve girl and here's the thing there's nothing wrong about being a little shy

there's nothing wrong about being you know a little meek there's nothing wrong about wanting to have your privacy and maybe um you know not wanting to share with everybody or to get a little crazy that's valid that's fine but i feel like we all are a little bit chaotic naturally you know we have that inquisitive nature we have that drive we have that passion we have that power to the things that we feel called to we have those like you know mood swings we have those changes of ideas we have those you know pursuits of passion and all of those are very very important and key factors to the key to the chaotic girl lifestyle okay i also want to touch on another subject that we just kind of talked about which was um to be cringe is to be free you know what

i mean and i feel like the chaotic girl is never afraid to be cringe like when i was younger i had no concept of self thank god i'm very like blessed that i had no concept of self in the way that i presented myself i did have a concept of self of crippling anxiety and just like feeling like i'm taking up too much space in the world at like seven um but the concept of self of me being a real weird girl was like um or like a little cringe was never something that i like pertained to i was always just doing what i wanted and wearing what i wanted and playing dress up and doing all these things and you know being a little weird and being a little different than the other neighbor girl like and not being afraid to do so i've lived a very unapologetic life in the way

that i do that i think it's really built up my confidence and my belief in myself a lot and to be cringe like i said is to be free um i feel like so many people hold themselves back and like well what will this person think or what will this person think or well what if what if they see this or what if it's cringe to do this just stop thinking so much and stop basing your life so much on what other people want and what other people want you to do you will succumb to a life that is just so fucking like kind of just eats away at your soul you know what i mean and i know this and i'm not shitting on you because i've been there i've been that girl okay and i have been that girl for a long period of my life um you have to just allow yourself to be you and

to be cringe and to be free you know you have to allow yourself to also be in those moments and to be a little cringe in order to learn who you are and to kind of test those boundaries and to quite honestly test the people in your life like if they're gonna see that and be like hmm i don't like that person because of this because of you expressing yourself maybe you guys aren't a good fit maybe that person's not meant to be in your life maybe they're not going to be a good influence on you you know because if you're presenting yourself honestly and authentically it should be received pretty well from the world you know and i think the my favorite kind of people in this world are the people who present themselves honestly and openly and make the world a safer

space for those who want to do so as well so i hope we're all embracing the chaotic girl energy especially after this full fucking moon i hope we're all driven i hope we're all inspired i hope we're all working towards new things and new ideals and new passions that we maybe didn't have the energy for you know previously and let loose let your chaotic girl out a little bit let her out of that cage babe okay she's a she-wolf you gotta let her out oh my god that was my favorite music video ever when i was a kid with shakira she-wolf holy shit i think that's how i knew i was bi i was like yeah i fuck with shakira for sure absolutely anyways yeah to be cringe is to be free it's okay to be a little cringe don't let people get to you and really just also don't

let yourself get to you I feel like we all have that little voice in the back of your head that's kind of like that voice of self-doubt to get rid of that you just have to challenge it and you have to challenge it over and over and over again I know people see me posting and they're like oh you probably don't have that you know voice you probably don't have that like kind of you you know negative self-talk in the back of your head to present yourself open and honestly but it's like no every single time that I walk out of the house in a questionable outfit you know especially for the midwest or I post a picture that I'm a little nervous about or do something that's out of the fucking blue or you know out of the kind of ideal that's set in society yeah

I constantly have that voice in my head but it's just it gets quieter and it kind of goes away after oh my god after a while if you just give yourself the time and and the patience to challenge it and to kind of dive into your true self because the feeling of being yourself and being your authentic self and being that true version of yourself unapologetically um feels way way better than succumbing to whatever the fuck kind of voice is going on in the back of your head because usually it's coming from a place of ego and a place that wants you to start in one place and end back up in the other and not escape the circle life is a spiral experience is a spiral you must work from one place and work your way outward but never ever ever should you reach that same place

again you should constantly be constantly be learning about yourself and changing and growing i think that's all very important so i love you guys thank you for joining me for this quick little episode of smoke sesh i know this was just like a little extra something special i'm still working on merch and my patreon so i wanted to get something out to you guys and connect a little bit so stay tuned in all ways you can submit your questions to my instagram at hannah marlene um i will answer them there or answer them here on this podcast and like i said i put up a questionnaire every sunday for questions for this as well so thank you for joining me i hope you have a wonderful fucking rest of your day and I will see you on Tuesday