Smoke Sesh - 2022 goals, weed etiquette and more

Episode Date: January 6, 2022

Happy Thursday! Today we rapid fire through some questions, hannah talks her 2022 goals, weed etiquette, relationship advice, festivals, coke, identity, clothing & much much more. Thank you for listening feel free to light up and hang out, welcome to Smoke Sesh!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Good morning, everybody. oh my god it is literally so fucking cold out i woke up this morning could not feel my feet

i also woke up this morning here's like my morning routine um wake up immediately get on my phone i know i feel like i need a better morning routine um something that's more hmm productive no idea um but i wake up and usually just get straight on my phone because i get anxiety about work and a lot of my work happens to be on my phone so like i always wake up and the first thing in the morning is i check emails check dms check whatever socials that i need to be checking to like stay up to date with what the fuck's going on um and one of you guys dm me and was like i'm waiting for the new podcast right now but i know you're probably like filming it right now it was like set at 9 a.m i was like girl i was not even awake yet i am so sorry but

listen we're getting to work we're starting it up i'm gonna get this podcast out to you as soon as i can because i got work at five so i gotta get this bitch done um but let's talk about the new years i know i didn't really cover the new years um well i covered what i did on new years in the last podcast but I didn't cover my plans for the new year's things that I have planned things I'm excited for um things I want to change things I want to bring back to myself so let's kick off the podcast with that and then deep dive into some questions all right tbh not a lot I want to change about myself I mean yes of course there are things that I want to better improve on you know what I mean but in general like i have never been this hot i have never been this hard working i have

never been this driven and i want to keep that um i just want to keep getting harder and richer and smarter that's really my only goals for 2021 um some small little things that i have that i want to get done i talked about this in the last podcast but i felt like i was waiting um all of last year waiting for what who knows things to happen changes to happen without me actually having to make any real movement um we're cutting that shit out this new year i am simply doing the work my fucking self fucking pulling it together pulling myself together i'm done waiting um i went on oh i went on two trips last year maybe one oh my god i think i only went on one vacation last year um and that was to LA yeah I went to LA last year it was so fun oh my god I

had a great time um we went to basically just Malibu we stayed in the um up in the Hollywood Hills and then stayed in Malibu for a little bit um hung out in Santa Monica beautiful loved it 10 out of 10 recommend um I don't get when people are like oh LA is fake I hate LA like of course like there is that culture there like everybody who lives there is kind of like surface level-y but like it was just me and my boyfriend hanging out with each other and the people we ran into were people who were super cool super authentic like don't let other people's opinions about places deter you from going and experiencing those places because your experience could be completely different and I had such a great time but I want to get out and

travel more like I what I have I'm 22 holy shit I'm 22 um and I have not traveled to a lot of places um especially in my adult years like on my own without my family so I'm planning a few trips to LA I want to get out to LA um to go to a few concerts few events some EDM shows I miss being a part of the edm community so i'm gonna try and fly out there to go to a few things um maybe once or twice this year i'm also planning on going to mexico with my boyfriend for like a little i don't know valentine's day like anniversary trip i don't know we don't really have like a specific day as our anniversary we just know we kind of started like seeing each other and dating around a certain time um so we're gonna try and get out to mexico like tulum i'm not sure where exactly there's so

many incredible airbnbs that i've been looking at um but yeah get my fucking ass on a beach post it up with some drinks some weed hang in that's the ideal um i also live pretty close to colorado i'm gonna try out to get try to get out to like denver area boulder area maybe like ski resort area um within at least the next couple of months i want to do like a little weekend trip um but if there's anywhere else you recommend let me know like i want to get out i want to travel i just like i'm not sure where the fuck i should go i'm also looking at like utah nevada i have an uncle out there um so like getting out i love like hiking nature i don't like new york super fun love to go to new york um right now my vibes are kind of um orientated towards nature love

getting out of nature love escaping my vacations are very much an escape i'm trying not to connect to my phone too much when i'm on vacation i'm trying to connect back to the world trying to connect back to myself kind of ground myself that is the purpose of vacations in my opinion but there's anywhere that you've gone and you've been like listen this place was fucking breathtaking and i never would have expected it please feel free to dm it to me um that would be so incredibly helpful but yeah first on my list travel more get the fuck out get out get free yourself hannah you need to free yourself too there's so much of the world you need to see and so much you'll learn from different like parts of the world that i think is very necessary to travel another big

goal for my new year um is putting myself first i have such a hard time with this i know crazy right um i'm like the most self-centered egotistical person you might ever meet but like not in a bad way like in a very positive way like i just love myself period but i need to enact that feeling more into my personal life. Um, I have a hard time, um, where I just constantly put myself aside for people, put my needs aside for people, put whatever aside for people, because I, I do like making people happy. I do like, um, catering to people. I do like, um, helping people being like that source of like um happiness for people but I also need to be that for myself like as much as I love being that for other people I cannot be that for other people if I'm not putting

myself first so simple things like um spending more time alone spending more time doing things I want to do saying no and saying no is okay learning to say no um trying to have not such high expectations for myself understanding that if I need a break from work or the podcast to say or like little things like that then I should allow myself to have that time and not feel guilty and not feel bad and also take advantage of that time for what it is and not just let it waste away um time management time management is another skill i absolutely need to work on because literally oh bitches i'm about to delete tiktok straight up i have been on tiktok for two years now and every time i get on that app like i don't get it doesn't provide any sort of sense of

betterment I just get on there and I'll scroll for hours and then I'll exit out and I'll be like did I learn anything did I do anything did anything happen during those two hours no other than me just staring at my phone screen can I remember any of those videos I just watched no literally it is so bad for my brain it also makes me like creatively not feel as good about myself also like just not feel as good about myself in general um I feel like it breeds a culture of like competition um it also makes me do something that I really don't like to do which is like over analyze and compare myself to other people's lives because we are all on such very vastly different paths um and there's literally no need to ever compare yourself for where you

are compared to where somebody else is because oh my god literally you have no idea what's going on in their life also they have no idea what's going on in yours but just avoiding that comparison is super necessary and very helpful to just having a sound sense of like self and mind but yeah tiktok is it's really hard for me to get on there and be like intellectually or creatively stimulated if anything it makes me creatively like drained because there's so many new trends so many new things going on so many new ideas and it just like makes my brain hurt so I think I'm taking a little break from TikTok for right now at least a good solid week um into this new year and then I kind of want to turn my TikTok and my Instagram into like little daily diaries I think that's a

way healthier way of going about things um giving you guys more of an insight on my life and what i do and how i spend my time um but also i think it'll help me reconnect back to enjoying the little things and um romanticizing my life and loving my life and being more appreciative of it so that is the goal um but yeah avoiding technology as much as i fucking possibly can TikTok is such a fucking deep dark wormhole that I just enter and then three hours later I am like what happened where am I and I think that's so bad Instagram used to be that for me um now don't really spend a whole bunch of time on Instagram um the only app I really spend time on on my phone is like TikTok and fuck yeah we need a break me and TikTok need a little separation

for right now but routine is always super important i gave you guys that homework i don't know if you did it but i gave you guys that homework of being like setting goals and intentions for 2022 and then also making a daily routine that's gonna help you achieve those goals just like a generalized how you want to spend your days um routines are so important oh my god and so important for your mental health um other than routines though I'm gonna try and read more books I don't have a goal for how many books I want to read I think over consuming books is probably just as bad as over consuming technology although books are obviously better for you um but like how much are you really how much is your brain really holding on to and like understanding and

processing if you're blasting through a book in a week like take your time enjoy that book it's okay you know what I mean but I want to read more books put my fucking phone down also like journal more as well um I've been trying to put daily affirmations around my house just to kind of re-invite those back into my life um creating so although the new year's is all about creating yearly goals I think it's very important to create quarterly goals so like if you do it by season kind of and you do like a little mood board for the season and like a few goals you want to complete for that season because then it's not so overwhelming and then you can do like smaller more realistic goals um because I get very overwhelmed thinking about big picture ideas

um it feels like those thousand steps are really just like too much and then I just don't do it but it's way easier when you just take it like one step at a time and you look at it from like a smaller perspective um that changed my mindset completely when I stopped focusing on like big picture and started being like okay sure you can't do a thousand things today but you can do one so let's do that one thing um clean clean clean I have a hoarding problem straight up I have a hoarding problem not with anything other than clothes it's just way too many clothes so yesterday I spent my day off I was gonna go do pottery and have some pizza and wine but I think I'm gonna do that tomorrow instead I think I have Friday off but I spent the day organizing my

closet and picking out clothes that I don't wear anymore and like I have a so my closet is like a clothing stand clothing rack um so it's really easy for it to get just like out of fucking control and it gets overwhelming and then I just don't go in there to look for clothes and I don't even look through it because just like the mess is overwhelming to my mind so yesterday I went through all of it and reorganized it and oh my god I like me and my space I feel so much better so much better simply because like I opened up or I got rid of the clutter for my room so making sure you're staying on top of keeping a clean organized room clean organized space um there's nothing more stressful than coming back home from like a long day of work and seeing that

your entire room is a mess but also having like no energy to clean it so like intentionally making time and energy to um take advantage of cleaning and organizing your room during a time that maybe you're feeling good and you have the energy to do it personally for me that's in the morning um wake up do my emails do my uh check dms check socials get some coffee um turn on a little tv show the news or a podcast or some music and then clean i'll clean sometimes in the morning that is like uh love it love cleaning in the morning also i don't really have shit going on in the morning so like my mornings are very sacred to me most of the time i'm doing shit at night so i have less time at night if you have more time at night then feel free to switch whatever up for

your schedule but make sure your space is clean literally it will you like i used to feel like there was like a heavy weight on my chest like i couldn't breathe and then i like decluttered my entire house and like got rid of shit I did not want and I was like oh my god I can finally I can actually breathe like I can sit here and not be anxious and it was simply because everything around me was giving me anxiety but um treat yourself and a goal for me is once again I really like doing things for people I really like treating people very well um but treating myself the same way dating myself um although i am in a long-term relationship i need to also make time and space to date myself treat myself um take myself out if i want to buy myself flowers if i want flowers

buy myself that i don't know clothing if i want it taking time and energy and space to um treat yourself the way you personally want to treat yourself in the way you think you deserve to be treated um because you can't always rely on other people to um read your mind and do all these things for you and um take care of you like you are your own very much so person and this goes for if you're dating somebody or not you really do need to date yourself you need to be there for yourself you need to constantly show up for yourself and prove to yourself that you're going to be like there for yourself and you're going to treat yourself well um so yeah little things like buying yourself flowers buying yourself that new book so then you have time

to spend with yourself um buying yourself that new t-shirt that is only like 15 and will make you smile when it gets there um buying yourself it doesn't always have to be buying i'm just i'm in a capitalistic mood right now i feel like buying a lot of stuff but just show up for yourself be there for yourself date yourself go on little walks okay spend time alone with yourself meditate it's all good what else um gratuity wait no gratuity is what they add on onto a tab um maybe i don't know i don't know how to use this fucking word but being more grateful and doing more um gratitude journals is also a part of my yearly goal um I do a lot of journaling personally it's a lot of mind dumps tbh um because there's so much chaos going on in my mind

constantly that I literally have to just like open my journal and mind dump so then I can put those thoughts somewhere else because they're just not being productive in my mind it's just causing me anxiety but what I also need to do so I don't ruminate on those things is that a word anyways i need to do more gratitude journals gratitude journaling changed my perspective completely i love doing gratitude journals literally every day it can be in your notes app it can be in your own little personal journal whatever is the easiest for you literally sit down you can start with three things three things of that day that you're grateful for and then you can move on to five and then it can move on to 20 and then it can move on to 100 you will sit down

after like practicing this for so long you'll sit down from being able to from being able to think about oh my god oh I can only maybe write down two things I'm grateful for to being able to spew off hundreds of things because you've conditioned your mind to look for things in your everyday daily life that you maybe have not been looking for that are gonna make you feel positive towards your life um it's another thing of being like oh you need to romanticize your life like you really do you really do i used to think that was so dumb and like how the fuck am i gonna romanticize my life from my tiny little house in kansas city missouri but like if anybody's gonna do it it has to be me because no one else is so why would i spend my time sitting here being like oh i could

be somewhere else though like why would i enjoy my time here like i just need to wait whatever same thing waiting on whatever to come to me when i can just simply enjoy the time that i am spending right now and see it for what it is and be thankful and grateful for what i have okay gratitude journals love them but yeah those are my new year's goals i don't know i don't have like a ton of big goals i just want to do everything i didn't do last year and i want to put myself first and i want to do important things with my time and use my time wisely and money moves period bitches anyways okay so this dm is so funny i have to read it to you guys but hey i've been binging your podcast for the past few weeks and i have to i have an idea for something to discuss you

should talk about weed etiquette especially for like baby stoners because i've been smoking for like four years at this point and just last year I found out that when you're passing a bowl around you're not supposed to just torch the whole top of it like obviously pick a small spot and light that up but no one ever told me that lmao this is that's so funny because like as much as I want to be like no there isn't any weed etiquette like just smoke and light up and have fun babes their low-key is like I never really thought of it but their low-key is so if you're a baby stoner you're getting into it you don't want to fuck up you don't want to be that person let me tell you what to do weed etiquette how to go about it because i have messed up as well don't worry

we are in the same boat okay weed etiquette 101 babes first of all you need to pay attention to who the fuck is supplying the weed is it you or is it somebody else because depending on that is dependent on like how you are going to roll up smoke you know what i mean um if it's somebody else's weed it's completely their choice and it's completely up to them but if it's your weed it's your choice because they're smoking on your shit okay majority of my life i have been the one to buy the weed for people um like i i have spent so much money on weed for people like so much but i I love it I love being the one to like supply the weed to be the one who's like in charge or in control of what we're gonna smoke and how we're gonna smoke it

um because I'm sometimes just a little picky which is fine um but I was talking to my friend the other day and she's like Hannah I don't think anybody has bought me more weed than you she's like one time one time I went to visit her when she was in college and I showed up and I bought an ounce and he smoked like not even a lot of the ounce like i was there for 24 hours maybe and literally just left it there she was like you left a whole ounce in my house like why why did you do that and it's like i didn't want to travel with it plus like this is my thank you gift you know what i mean like i just love buying weed for people also it puts me in the space to be in control of what the fuck we're smoking because like i said i'm a little picky

sometimes now depending on what the fuck is going on um what you're smoking whose pieces it is sometimes it's okay to ask them sometimes it's okay to be like you hit it first let me see how you're gonna do this so i can go ahead because sometimes people's rigs are different the way they roll is different um you have to be careful like with blunts sometimes you can pull a little harder on them because um it's like rolled really thick like there's a lot of weed in a blunt um so you kind of have to pull a little harder on those sometimes so they burn correctly um and then joints like you just do a little puff puff it is always puff puff pass you don't want to fiend on it you don't want to be the person holding the fucking blunt and telling a story take two puffs

hold it in pass it do not hold that shit for longer than 10 seconds i am serious i'm serious there's nothing more frustrating than having somebody holding the fucking joint and telling a long ass story like shut the fuck up and pass it no offense like i love you love you but like pass that shit you gotta pass it okay because everybody's waiting on you next if it's a bowl like they said you're smoking a bowl i have been the one before to just like torch the top and go for it that's fine i personally do that when i'm alone because um actually tbh i think the best way to smoke is to do like what are they called snaps um it's not what you're thinking i think snaps are actually just like half weed half tobacco and you put it in a bong do not do that um what you're

gonna do is personally what i enjoy doing is if i'm the one to have the weed and also a bong all load snaps for people so you just like you don't do a full bowl where you're like stuffing it and it's like fat and then you'll have to corner it you know what i mean you're doing like half a bowl like enough for like a little one hitter and you give it to the person you let them rip that full bowl so then they don't have to worry about cornering it because cornering it sometimes really hard especially with nails um i let them just rip the full thing and then i you know just load load one for each person i think that is totally valid totally fair but if you are smoking a bowl like a full bowl somebody's loaded that shit up i have trust me i didn't know this

was a thing growing up either but yes you need to corner the bowl do not toast the whole entire top of it because then it's gonna taste like shit for the rest of the people it's just gonna taste burnt and you don't want that also you don't want that for yourself so always corner it babes what else when it comes to rigs um some people's rigs are a little finicky so like if you're taking dabs um always the best rule of thumb is just you torch it till it's red hot wait relatively 25 to 30 seconds take the dab but some people's um rigs uh are different so always like ask or just wait for them to hit it first and then you can be like hey show me what to do um how do i rip this is your is your rig a little finicky because some people's um bangers heat up to a

certain temperature or some people's bangers like cool off faster and some people's bangers cool off slower like personally my boyfriend's banger um do you guys know what a banger is it's like a bowl but it's for dabs um and you heat it up with a torch his banger takes like 30 seconds to cool off my banger at my house i got it it's like super nice but it's super thick so it takes like a good 45 seconds to cool off um because if you rip that shit as soon as you light it uh your lungs will be on fire they will be on fire but yeah there's really not a whole bunch of etiquettes pay attention to who's bringing the weed respect them and their rules first off pay attention to what they're doing if you're the one bringing the weed you're in charge of

how the fuck you're smoking um so make sure you have like uh pre-rolls or wraps or whatever you prefer okay and that you can roll um i have literally been in the position before where i was like a baby and i didn't know how to smoke and also i was blacked out drunk and somebody handed me a full roll joint and i lit it backwards i lit the filter like i didn't know what's going on i was like thanks shove that in my mouth let me light it up completely just put it in my mouth backwards and lit the filter so like if i did that if i did that in the middle of a smoke sesh you guys can make any mistake okay and then you can tell the story about how i lit one backwards and the heat will be taking off taken off of you but like it's kind of hard to fuck up tbh it's

kind of hard to fuck up and if you do fuck up no one's really gonna say anything everybody's still learning no one's really judging you and if you are in a situation where they are judging you and they're seeing you differently for it leave that is not a safe smoke sesh nobody should really give a fuck about anything that is the goal of smoke sesh nobody should be thinking about other people and judging other people and worried about how other people are doing shit smoke however the fuck you want okay just respect who's bringing the weed respect the circle puff puff pass you know simple as that weed etiquette 101 okay we're gonna do a little speed round of questions i'm gonna try and get through a few really quickly here um doesn't mean i'm trying to skip through them i

think they're very valid i just get caught up on topics sometimes so how can i feel more connected to my body, I feel like I'm in my head so much. Felt. I'm constantly in my head all the time. The only way to escape it is to move my body. To feel connected to my body, I need to move my body, okay? If I'm sitting in bed, not doing anything, of course my brain is going to be a little bit overwhelming. Now, in whatever way you prefer to move your body, whether it's going on a walk, going on a run going to go lift going to the uh gym going to dance dancing is an incredible way to um deconnect from your brain and connect to your body whether that's going out to a club and dancing or staying at home literally just putting on lights move your body literally that

is the best way to kind of make your mind chill for a little bit and connect to your body and feel your body fully also when i did used to work out like heavily um i loved the feeling of like my body being sore and feeling my muscles in that way because it reminded me that like oh my god i'm more than just a brain i am a body like i'm working out i'm doing stuff that's changing my body and stretching it and um making it more powerful in different ways that it hasn't been and that reminder of like being sore from like going on a run or doing some lifting was really really nice so keep that in mind but someone else asked a similar question but relating to sex like how do i get out of my mind during sex and connect to my partner more so with my body and i think

that's a very valid question i think it's something a lot of women have trouble with um which is i think my trouble with it stems from my adhd and past trauma um but hold on let me take a sip of my coffee um literally same thing as if as what i just said move move your body if you're laying there in missionary or fucking doggy i don't know and all you're doing is just laying there and like moaning of course you're gonna be in your head you're not moving you're not interacting you're not um like uh mindfully connecting with that person you're just sitting there taking dick like of course you're not going to be super connected now if you enjoy that props to you but i understand some girlies have a harder time um connecting their body into what they're doing

so move okay spend more time on foreplay exploring each other's bodies um feeling each other feeling what it's like to move together before you even do pnv or whatever oh my god but like exploring each other for a long time building up that sensuality building up that trust um switching to different positions okay sex doesn't always have to be one position if you feel your mind kind of escaping you um or not escaping you that's kind of the ideal if you feel yourself getting trapped in your mind um switch positions okay maybe you don't want to have sex right now maybe you want to do some uh i don't know maybe you want to suck dick instead cool switch it up have fun try different things okay sex doesn't always have to be one position you can do like

10 positions you got time i guarantee you but foreplay is also very important keep in touch with your body build that sensuality up i guarantee you'll be able to connect more with your partner all right is it more mature to keep your ex blocked or unblocked after almost two years sos idk what to do blocked keep them blocked keep them blocked why would you venture back into the past are you that kind of person are you the kind of person to give up on your future and go back to your past no if they lost you once they're probably gonna lose you again you do not need to waste your time and energy giving this person a whole other chance when they had thousands of chances during your relationship everybody changes everybody grows everybody becomes

different people but we all have those core values to us that maybe didn't enjoy that about that person and maybe that's why you guys left each other also if they broke your heart I guarantee they probably didn't do much growing in general like core value wise so you're not missing a lot okay the only thing you're doing is probably romanticizing the ideals that you did experience in your head and you're putting those on a pedestal and you're kind of forgetting all the bad things keep exes blocked keep them fucking blocked okay there's no reason for you to venture back all right we don't do that here at smoke slash there are literally so many goddamn men so or i don't know who you date you just said x men women there's too many of them all right

you can find a new better one or you can find a new one that's just as bad either way find a new one all right how um do i deal with my boyfriend being good friends with his ex i trust him but it stresses me out don't don't don't we're not doing that uh-uh i'm so sorry but your boyfriend should not be friends with their exes if your boyfriend doesn't have like all their exes blocked if they're not moving on if they're like still in contact that is a red flag in my opinion because there's something they have not moved on from grown on from learned from from that past relationship and they're still holding on to it okay there's absolutely and i'm not even being like a crazy bitch right now like literally there's no reason for your ex or for your boyfriend to be friends

with his ex okay i had a um ex who was like that who was like still in contact with his um i don't mean to freak you out right now but like who was still in contact with his ex and i was like I thought I was crazy about it I thought I was being like super possessive he was like we're just friends like I can't have friends who are women and I was like no it's not that and he gaslighted me and then I'm pretty sure he cheated on me when he went back home to Florida with her straight up I don't know if that's true he never really told me but I have my women's intuition about it um save yourself the stress save yourself the drama save yourself the crying the fighting tell him either me or her because we there's not room for two obviously yes

you can have female friends but not ones that you've stuck your dick inside straight up not ones that you've loved okay that's just general boundaries so anyways okay have you ever felt like you were addicted to weed and you wanted to do something about it yes multiple times in my life um substance abuse issues run in my family and that means everything just because your parents might be or like grandparents might drink doesn't mean you can't not become addicted to everything in your life literally anything um so i've been to multiple points in my life specifically one i can really think about in college where i was just overusing over consuming as a way to not think not be a part of my life dole down my life um and it went on for a while

at least a good year until i came to the realization that this is not good for me i don't want to live my life this way um it's not having a positive impact on me the things that i want to get done aren't happening because of this straight up i have to cold turkey and i did and i cold turkey for like a good year a good year and a half i would occasionally smoke now during that year and a half like once a month if I was like I didn't ever buy it or purchase it but if I was with friends and they were smoking sure you know I'll hit your pen I'll hit a little bowl whatever it was never like the constant usage that I was going through um and it's okay if you do find yourself at that point I don't want you to feel like hopeless or lost if you do find yourself at

that point obviously there are things you can do steps you can take to make yourself feel better cold turkey straight up is the best way um you will feel so incredible in just like under a week i guarantee it but take care of yourself that is priority number one although this is called smoke cess you do need to pay attention to your intake and how you're treating weed and how you're using it within your daily life and is it really positively impacting you or is it doing negative things um evaluating that while you're using and then redirecting yourself if need be but don't worry listen listen a year off is sometimes good make your brain recharge a little bit reset focus on yourself a year is nothing in the timeline of the hundred years we have now so take the break

if you need it really it's not that big of a deal okay my libido has been so freaking low when it comes time for sex what should i do to help it go up so um i'm a very sexual person well yeah i would say so I love sex I love sex I love everything about it um I love being able to connect with a person um I love my partner and the way we connect but sometimes my libido is a little low um I will go from like spending a month okay this is so bad but like I'll tell you guys whatever I will like we'll sometimes have sex like five times maybe I think the most we've ever done is like eight times in a day like a lot like sometimes my sex drive will be so goddamn high and sometimes I am like yeah once a week's good for me like you know what I mean and I've realized um the times when I am

feeling like my libido is low it's usually due to um personal life issues that I'm going through I'm stressed I am worried about money I'm worried about work I have other things in my mind I don't have time to devote my mind and my body to sex right now because i'm simply too anxious i'm too worried i'm too whatever the fuck's going on in my head i don't know what's going on in your head this is just me personally um so you do genuinely have to take the time to take care of yourself and take care of your mind and take care of those interpersonal things you have going on in order to make space for your brain and your libido to kind of get excited again about sex you know like it's really hard to be excited about sex when you're like oh my god i have this

deadline and i'm anxious and oh my like of course you're not gonna want to have sex okay you gotta take care of yourself first all right you gotta take care of your body you gotta take care of your mind and the sex drive will follow i guarantee it is it bad to want space from your partner no i think it's very valid if your relationship is not two individual people coming together whenever you do to spend time together then that is not a relationship okay two halves do not make a whole unfortunately um that is not how relationships work you cannot fix each other you cannot save each other you cannot do any of that you both need to be very actualized people and you both need to be um wanting the best for yourself and wanting to

grow individually as people for your relationship to work out i do think that is kind of a necessity so making space for yourself and time for yourself and being away from your partner is okay and it's completely valid and i think it's a completely healthy thing to do okay me and my partner do not live together i have my own place he has is his own place i think that's very valid i think if we ever did move in together i would still want to keep that same sense of like space and self so if i ever did need to escape um and kind of reconnect back to myself then i could do that because the issue is not taking space from your partner but it's being um unable to take space from your partner that's when it becomes unhealthy um you should be able to have time alone and be

able to develop your guy develop yourself individually as people um and if you do not make room for that that simply will not happen and your relationship will not grow so yeah very valid i think everybody should take time to themselves whether in a relationship or not whether it's like friendships taking up all your time um relationships taking up all your time make sure you're making space for yourself to grow as an individual as well okay this is a great question if anybody's going to answer this question it's going to be me okay so how to feel confident when your life isn't moving as fast paced as people around you um felt that's the whole reason why in the beginning i kind of i'm saying i'm taking a little break from tiktok

um it causes unnecessary unnecessary um like self-evaluation against people who have like many other things going on in their life it makes me like over analyze and compare my life to theirs and kind of not be excited about my life anymore which i think is very very toxic um so i'm avoiding that for a little bit but also like i took a very unconventional life path like my life is not even close to anybody else is going on so why the fuck would i spend my time comparing myself to other people like my parents thought i was going to go to college graduate from nursing school move on to have like a husband and kids you know american dream vibes i on the other hand am a two-time college dropout um who now works part-time in social media and works part-time serving like

nothing that they would have expected for me and quite honestly nothing i would have expected for myself am i happy with where i am yes of course i'm so happy to be where i am but when i compare to other people's lives and what they're doing it makes me a little less happy there's some reading i saw that i think will help you though so let me read it for you the real glow up is when you accept everyone for who they are and you accept yourself for who you are and focus your energy on enjoying life and making the best of every moment instead of looking around everyone else's life with envy and self-loathing that will literally free you okay accept them accept who they are accept that their life is going this way and honestly send some positivity send some

gratitude that way and then focus on yourself okay if you just accept people for who they are and you accept yourself for who you are for who you are you will feel so much freer in this world all right we just did a little bit of a run throw on a lot of um questions i think i'm gonna do like speed rounds on thursday just to kind of blast through all of your guys's questions i really want to get to everybody's but literally you guys send me hundreds like i think there's 500 in my inbox so holy shit feel free no i love reading them though like please always feel free to send them to me if they're long um don't send them on the questionnaire thing i post on my instagram stories feel free to dm them to me um you can feel just rant through there i have had people

send me videos i've had people send me um like voice recordings of them talking i've had people type it out whatever works for you um but if it is short like the ones i've been reading um for the speed round feel free to submit them on the questionnaire that i post on my instagram at hannah marlene um but this is the last question of the day um i figured we just end it on a funny but someone asked craziest thing you've done to get drugs alcohol and um i have oh god i've been in so many situations so many situations um but here's the thing if you're a pretty girl no if you're a girl all girls are pretty that's a fact if you're a girl you can get drugs and alcohol for free and you should always be getting it for free the same way that i'm like listen if

you're a woman on this planet you should be getting all your drugs and alcohol for free you should be getting into clubs for free you should getting your meals for free okay okay there's too many men on this planet who are willing to just throw money at women and too many other friendly women who want to be your friends who are willing to share drugs i am also that woman as well like i constantly have a blunt on me i got a blunt oh don't smoke blunts psa i don't smoke blunts i don't smoke blunts i used to smoke a lot of blunts sorry quick we're gonna veer off this topic for a second um I used to smoke a lot of blunts um and I realized blunts make you break the fuck out they make you break out so so bad um if you are gonna smoke a blunt what I really

really encourage you doing is washing I know you have to do some like prepare like prepare yourself wash your face and then have you heard about slugging recently slug your face with a moisturizer like thick so when you smoke the tobacco does not come back and if like the smoke doesn't fly back into your face because all of the the carcinogens in that smoke are going to eat away at your face um vapes will do this too any sort of tobacco product is going to slowly deteriorate yourself inwardly as well as the smoke from it outwardly will deteriorate your face i used to get like i said i talked about my acne journey in the last podcast tuesday's episode um the times where i would have flare-ups i also realized where because i was smoking blunts and i was not taking care of

my skin all of that smoke and all that tobacco caused so many giant big pimples like on my cheeks and on my chin so personally i do not smoke blunts anymore but i always have a joint rolled and if you ever see me smoking i will always offer a hit that's another uh etiquette for uh weed if you have it you share it i feel like that's a very valid etiquette okay if i have weed on me i share it now if you're being a weirdo i obviously sometimes you don't always have to share it but relatively everybody's gonna be nice enough and you're gonna want to share it anyways okay back to the question at hand the craziest thing i've ever done for drugs or alcohol um usually i wouldn't say it happened in high school in high school i had plugs so i could

always just like go buy weed or um alcohol was a little harder to get a hold of because i didn't really have a fake in high school um we just like steal it from our parents and then my one friend had a fake literally the one friend in my group who literally looked 12 was the only person with a fake and she would go buy us alcohol sometimes as well uh that's about it if we ever wanted alcohol or drugs in high school i wasn't doing like fucking coke or molly in high school please do not ever do that um but i was drinking and smoking now when you get older other drugs get a little bit harder to find but um so if you guys know what dance fest is it's this like festival in Kansas city, Missouri, like the EDM festival. Um, and personally when I go to

festivals, although I do sometimes pack my own drugs, um, just because I know that it's safer that way. Usually you can just straight up go to a festival, a concert with nothing, and you can find somebody with something. Okay. You can find somebody who has drugs there, who is there to sell drugs all right it's very easy very simple to find just don't be dumb um also everybody there is gonna want to share it with you is my car alarm going off no it's not me thank god i thought my car was getting broken into um but one time i was at this festival um dance fest and i didn't have any drugs on me because i had taken them the night before but literally i had never taken molly before so it was the first time I ever took molly and the next night I was feeling like shit I was feeling

like shit I was like I need another bump I need another I need another high because first time you take molly it's going to deplete your serotonin levels like completely so I was like to power through this night I need some more drugs okay tbh I don't know if I've told this story on here before but we're gonna roll with it I think I've told it on tiktok and that's why I'm getting confused but um the best part about festivals my favorite part about festivals is uh it's like a community okay everybody's there everybody's having fun there's like booths there's stalls you can walk around there's people are just having a good time and everybody there is very much so themselves so it's fun to meet people talk to them um so I my favorite thing

to do at festivals is just run away from my friends and family like disappear like I'll have fun with them I'll hang out with them and then when I stop having fun or I'm like hmm I want to go over there I'll just leave disappear go have fun go on a little adventure go run around that's the best part about festivals um you will get yourself into so many different like situations that are really funny and really fun so i get i really recommend it but i ran off from my friends i was wandering around and i went to go to the porta potties because i need some water and this girl was like stumbling around she's getting water and i stopped to talk to her while i was filling up my water bottles hanging out whatever she's like hey do you want a bump like

do you want anything you want to bump i was like uh yeah of course i want to bump i don't really know what it was of um presumably coke but she's like okay come with me and she's like she's walking to the porta potties and i was like what and she walks to the porta potty she's like come on come into the porta potty it's like okay follow her into the porta potty um and she is like okay let me pull up my baggie she's like obviously fucked up like i'm probably fucked up too at this point like vibes love it energy two girl bosses just girl bossing together in a porta potty bathroom um she pulled out a little baggie and i had acrylics on at the time so you know i could scoop my own bump get my own little bump and she's like oh i don't have like i don't have

my spoon is gone like everybody at these festivals wear like spoons on their neck like literal little mini spoons so that they can like scoop fucking coke and molly all the time um and she didn't have that and i she didn't really want to use my nails so she literally literally love she like had like one of her nails that had broken off in her pocket like a little pink glittery nail like acrylic nail that had broken off in her pocket she pulls it out she drops it on the port-a-potty floor picks it back up scoops out a bump out of her baggie and takes a bump out of this broken off nail okay but takes the bump out of the glittery nail pulls out nail glue glues it back on her finger i was like oh my god girl what i was like you first of all there's

so many other like combinations of things that could have happened to you like you definitely could have glued this on first before taking the bump or like asked to use my nail or something like i don't know i was like girl what is happening girls are always offering lines and bumps in a bathroom literally right now the only thing i really want in my life and need to experience soon is a heart-to-heart with a girl in a club bathroom there's literally nothing better like i said a furry saved my life in a club bathroom that's happened in a club bathroom i was at this other bar one time and everybody was in the bathroom taking pictures like hanging out doing each other's makeup like lining up lines on the fucking not on the toilet that's gross i think

it was on a piece of paper like a little club handout or whatever lining up lines taking pictures hanging out don't do coke i do need to say this you don't eat coke but i love the club bathroom i love the energy girls bring to the club to festivals to everything the way that they just are so open to sharing themselves and being around people and being so authentic obsessed like that energy is unmatchable the club bathroom girl energy is literally the energy i want the rest of 2022 because she was a real one for that that made me cackle so fucking hard i was like girl this glittery little pink nail like you totally could have taken a bump a different way like a little spoon a little straw i don't know go to a vendor down the road and buy a spoon

the broken nail that fell on the porta potty floor uh anyways i'm hoping to have a lot of those experiences this year some more so i can tell you about them um i know i've had way more experiences like that my brain is just so rotted and going back in time and trying to remember them is so hard for me it's straight up like it's a little hard so sorry I'm in my bathroom right now so if the echo's going on I'm so sorry but I get a lot of questions and I haven't been sure about how to talk about this topic on a like voice audio podcast um because it's kind of hard to describe but I'm really gonna try my best um people have been asking me like how I developed my own personal style how I kind of came up with that how do I feel comfortable in clothes how do

I pick out clothes um and if you go to my Instagram you can kind of see a little bit of my style and how I present myself it's very random um very random all right and I want to get into this topic because I think it's very important when you try and condense yourself down to a little box an idea it's really hard to be a person and I mean that by trying to fit an aesthetic okay I hate aesthetics I hate them I feel like they're too conforming they're too like pressurized they're too idealized um and if you don't fit this perfect little aesthetic or this niche that you're going for then you don't feel comfortable or good about yourself I spent a lot of my time especially growing up um trying to develop my style trying to find my style um and in reality

I was just like um adhering to these different styles of like um what the fuck was I saying oh aesthetics aesthetics i was just trying to feed into aesthetics i was just trying to feed in whatever the style was um at the moment so i didn't really do this during the y2k phase but i saw it was like a it's a it was like something that was kind of an issue all of these girls look the exact same all of these girls look the exact same all of them and the girls who didn't fit into this little tiny like y2k beauty standard feel bad about themselves and that is the issue okay you do not have to confine yourself into one little box sure take what you enjoy from that trend from what's going on in style right now take what you enjoy truly in your heart and apply that

to yourself and apply it to things you already own okay there's no need for you to fit this niche or this style this aesthetic for first of all other people's enjoyments because it's not for yourself okay these trends are all for other people and the real ideal is you intentionally buying items and pieces of clothing that fit how you want to express yourself and fit how um you feel about yourself okay and it's really really easy to do i used to think it was like the hardest fucking thing to do because i was like i don't know where to shop i don't know what i don't want to spend money like all this stuff the best way to kind of get into it and kind of feel out your sense of self and identity through clothing personally for me um was through thrifting um showing up to the

thrift store knowing that every single piece of item of clothing in there is going to be like something that you really can't find anywhere else that you're gonna have to dig through that things are really gonna have to speak to you call out to you um by going thrifting it really made like forced me to develop my own original sense of style because all the clothing I was getting was from the thrift store it was all things that like sure kind of fit a style that's popular now but also did it in a sort of way does that make sense but it really made me kind of mix and match and puzzle piece things together um in ways that were new and exciting and not in a way that I've ever seen before and that made me kind of get excited about fashion again and excited

about um presenting myself to the world authentically again um but oh there's this quote I'm trying to find that I saw earlier this morning about clothing hold on I feel like people try and um prove their identity through a sense of clothing and a sense of aesthetic and i feel like that's very toxic so let me read this to you identity is a prison straight up let yourself respond authentically to each moment as it arrives without being bound to the narrative of who you think you are the self is a construct the truth of your existence is ever changing and infinite as the universe is ever changing and infinite abandon the stories of your past selves and be present and alive in this very moment identity is dead the self is dead you are alive literally

stop trying to combine yourself into one box of how you want to present yourself to the world and adapt with how you're feeling adapt with who you are adapt with what you're going through on this day at this time and a great way to connect to your identity connect to who you truly are especially for me personally is through clothing okay I dress myself sure like I'll go to bed having like an outfit in my mind and I will wake up and be like I cannot wear that outfit because I personally just do not feel good in it that's okay dress for how you're feeling uh attach certain colors to you based on what you're feeling I'll go with an all black outfit like big overcoat if it's like cold gloomy out like I just am not vibing with the world that's okay

i'm changing my style if it's like i want to feel bright flowy fun that day i'm feeling bubbly you know and dressing for how you're feeling and how it is constantly ever changing all right if you go and you buy a whole wardrobe that fits this one y2k aesthetic or whatever aesthetic you're into um whatever niche you're trying to fill that entire closet will not be like will not resonate with you or be valuable to you or be even useful in four to six months that is how fast trends go by but my entire closet I have had pieces in it since like eighth grade ninth grade like seventh grade because they're all pieces that I picked out that I thought represented me well I thought they represented who I am well I thought they fit my body well I thought they fit um my personality

well not who I was trying to present myself as to fit a box to fit society but who I was trying to present myself as authentically to the rest of the world does that make sense I don't know if that makes any sense but thrifting really kind of um helped me learn how to do that and helped me focus on more unique more creative pieces um more inspiring ways to dress and helped me kind of break out of that societal box that they want you to be in to kind of fit whatever beauty standard is going on so i really really recommend that another 22 22 goal for me is to post more outfit pics on my instagram though because i pull off a lot and i don't post a lot um and i want to be more like authentic with you guys and also authentic with myself like although i don't

share a lot of myself with you guys i wish i did more um not like from a work perspective but more of like a diary like a um documenting my life kind of way um i think it's really fun i think social media can be very fun and so i'm hoping to post more and put a lot of outfits together for you guys soon so if you need any inspiration or have any questions or concerns or stories feel free once again to dm me on instagram send them over whenever you need and send them to my at hannah marlene account not the podcast account i don't even go through those dms there's so many um send them to my personal account it's way easier for me to track them on there um but yeah i hope you guys this i think this is the end of the podcast i've been recording

all morning my phone's been on like 20 i didn't really think i'd make it through this recording without it dying but we did it we did it happy thursday everybody thank you for joining me for a little speed round of questions let me know if you liked it let me know if there's anything new you want me to try on here anything oh I don't know I don't know anything you want to see from me I'm always down for new ideas literally I'm always interested with what you guys have to say how you guys are feeling so many of you guys have reached out to me recently and been like I love the podcast like if you're putting it out like told me like little bits about the episode that you liked like what called out to you I literally love hearing from you guys in any

possible way so please always feel free to reach out to me um and i will see you guys next tuesday i'm so excited um we're gonna stick with the two podcasts a week um and hopefully rest of 22 for the rest of 2022 oh my god that's such a hard year to say but angel numbers anyways peace love i hope you guys have a wonderful thursday