Smoke Sesh - 20’s glow up, molly & manipulative men

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

Happy Tuesday hotties! Welcome back to another episode of smoke sesh so happy to be back with you all on this beautiful Tuesday, we chat the rollercoaster of a weekend I had out in Arizona, blacking out and seeing god, seeing old friends again, free bleeding & current favorite coffee, learning how to keep things to yourself, confessionals, how to do a tolerance break, freeing yourself from manipulative men, Cannabolish & not smelling like weed, learning to embrace where you are, how to gain healthy weight, sensitivity & rejection, what your 20’s glow up looks like, Molly stories & my club rat era, current favorite trends, crushes & how to be kind. I had a blast with you all this Tuesday and can’t wait to be back next week with so many more stories & much more fun, love you all! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Oh my goodness, good morning hotties of the world. world how in the hell are we all doing today it is what day is it my god it's tuesday we're here we're i was about to say thriving but you know i think i'm just holding on at this point

um i'm hanging out with my kitty cat danger he wants to say hi maybe he'll purr for you I just hit him in the face with my phone, poor guy, but as you guys know, this weekend I went to Phoenix, um, well, I went to Scottsdale, actually, um, and I had, wow, too much fun, safe to say, like way too much fun i was planning on vlogging the whole thing in fact i like vlog the beginning and getting on the plane and meeting my friend and then here's the thing with girls weekends and as you get older i don't know if you're like in high school or college listening to this like you're around your friends all the time you don't have to schedule specific days to go see your friends and hang out when you get to that point in life those days that you schedule to see your

friends it gets crazy because there's so much that you have to fit into such little time um and boy did we do that i had so much fun oh my god you guys it was it was incredible um i don't even know where to start i did a whole like 30 minute recap for the patreon being like so sorry I didn't vlog but let me be actually thorough here and tell you everything that happened but we went jet skiing I lost a nail from jet skiing those things went 52 miles an hour like holding on for dear life I hit the water so hard my claw clip broke in my hair we drank so much we smoked so much weed first stop immediately off the plane hit the dispo we got three free eights two free joints and a free cart maybe three free joints i don't know it was a lot

of free weed the deals that they have in phoenix is unmatched you went to mint by the way if you guys are curious i gotta meet her mom and she was so sweet i gotta meet her friends they were amazing we went out in scottsdale um to the different bars i'm not a bar girly like i love a good club i love a good you know i can go sit somewhere with my friends and drink preferably the pool but like i'm not single i'm not hunting for a lover you know so the bars i'm just like meh but we went out for her birthday we had a blast we went to hula we got some amazing like tiki drinks we did not eat enough food so the amount of alcohol i consumed really just overtook my body the second day we uh ended up just at the pool the hotel pool we studied at hotel valley ho

which was real bougie um and yeah partied it up at the hotel pool racked up a fat bill which we never saw thank god we didn't have to pay for anything a blessing i don't know what person swooped down from the heavens and covered our bill from the pool that day because when i tell you we had six pitchers of pina coladas plus shots plus nachos plus food oh my god and we didn't see a bill we didn't pay for anything it was amazing oh wow i had too much fun like i haven't drank for three days like last time I drank was like Saturday and I'm still hungover like I went to bed Saturday after the pool at 6 30 and I slept for 15 hours that's how wild we were getting her friend showed up for the pool they brought a bong along love that oh my god they showed up they had

their little dime packs bag she unzipped it pulled out a bong ready to go I was like these are the kind of friends i need wow and immediately we took six shots her friend goes i don't drink that often well good thing we just took six shots in 20 minutes girl wow it was so much fun but yeah now i'm home and i'm really just like whoa what happened what happened but it was a blast i had an amazing time everybody was the fucking sweetest people ever i met a few of you guys which was kind of shocking one of which was in the buffalo exchange like changing room it was like oh hey girl so funny but yeah it was a great little weekend getaway um definitely need to get back out there again soon i feel like my vibe is more so like sedona like i would like to rent a house

with a pool somewhere in the middle of the desert just alone but her vibe was definitely like let's go to the bars let's get crazy and we definitely did that so happy birthday to her I hope she had a blast she is the love of my life my god in college she really just took me under her wing and was like you're with me now and that's the kind of friends you really need in life especially if you're a little shy a little you know a little shy at first it's really nice to have friends who are just like outgoing and are like no you you seem cool come with me we're gonna have a blast and oh my god did we have a blast yeah probably too much of one um but yeah now I'm home I am really just trying to get my life back in track after that weekend usually my weekends are

like okay we're gonna you know get some chores done and we're gonna get some groceries and we're gonna you know chill no none of that happens so now it's Tuesday and I'm like oh god I have so much to do but hey we're here we're doing it we're having a great time if you want the full details of every single thing that happened check out the patreon i'm gonna upload like a 30 minute chit chat tell you all the details on there um but yeah it was a good quick little trip to arizona shout out to my arizona girlies oh my god but if i live out there i have to have like work done like I thought LA was kind of like how do you say it like uh how do you put it how do I put it like uh I thought LA was really focused on like

surface level appearances oh LA compared to Scottsdale Arizona oh like not even close not even close LA looks like a normal little country girl compared to the aesthetics that get done in Scottsdale Arizona everybody's rich everybody has their titties done probably some lipo too everybody has giant lip filler I was like whoa I cannot exist here I just cannot I was looking at everybody like this is insane like I'm getting body dysmorphia just by looking at everybody who lives here this is crazy um but yeah had a great time did some vintage shopping had a little bit too much to drink had a lot of weed to smoke which was fantastic and now I'm here I worked last night I I took my trash out

this morning I ordered groceries I ordered sushi for lunch just you know last little treat myself before we jump into this week and I have another big weekend coming up the thing is every like once a month which even my boyfriend agreed with this he was like when i met you you were partying a lot which i was like i was on i was miss molly girl for sure like we were doing a lot of things we were having some great times for sure but it was fast days long nights too much of everything when he first met me and i'm glad i had that time and i had my little party phase and i'm also very glad it's over my cat's going crazy hi danger what are you doing um but yeah no I after all that though I like kind of entered a relationship phase and I didn't really go out and party anymore

you know as one does you get comfortable you get cozy on the couch you order pizza in you know you go on little dates but I missed that side of myself and I was like kind of yearning for it and so I figured out a good kind of balance within my life is like once a month I have to allow myself to just go get fucking crazy and like let that wild child side of myself out no judgment no hate like let her free set her free so she can do her thing so I can return back to normal existing throughout the rest of you know the month so I definitely got that out of my system this weekend but this upcoming weekend is breakaway festival in Kansas City like this two day EDM festival of just like fun oh my god and I will be going there to party and have a fucking

blast someone's laying on their horn outside and I'm gonna go yell at them if they don't stop I can't right now my head I can't my head can't take it okay um but I will be going to that this weekend and I think I'm gonna be doing it sober which is kind of crazy like I have never done that I've never done a festival sober in my entire life um but I guess I will now damn you know there's a first for everything and I think it'll be really fun to try out because like I don't need to be drunk to get down to some EDM music I can't lie like I'm gonna have a blast no matter what they got a roller disco they got two stages I'm going to have a blast I have a friend coming into town for it um my boyfriend's coming with me so if you are looking for something to do

this weekend come party with me at this at Breakaway Festival it's really gonna be so much fun um and I have been really searching for a good festival here in Kansas City for a while now I used to go to Dance Fest but I feel like it kind of became a little bit more aggressive EDM like a dubsteppy excision vibes which like a head banging which I used to love when I did a lot of Molly but now I'm like I like a good house techno you know something I can bop my head to like someone's not going to shove me into a mosh pit although those are fun as well so that is definitely the vibe for this weekend come hang out come see me at breakaway festival since i will be sober for that relatively sober you know like a cali sober such as like a sip of white wine some weed and

maybe some mushrooms me yeah that's sober um compared to what i have done in the past that is sober to me um i will actually be vlogging so hopefully i will have a good fat juicy vlog up for you guys um over the festival but if you want a full recap on arizona that is up on my patreon love you i know why you're here i know you want to hang out i know you have so many questions for me i got to work yesterday at like four and i was like oh my god i forgot to post the questionnaire oh my god like that's how much of a mess i am usually right in the morning monday morning i'm like up i'm ready i post the questionnaire i get all the questions in i was like 4 30 i was like that's how out of it i really am so apologies if this podcast is just a train wreck of fun

hopefully hopefully fun but it's definitely gonna be a mess so hang in there with me love you can we talk free bleeding real quick I just started my period like yesterday thank god every like month I'll hit a point where I'm like oh my god I have no idea when my last period was and then I'll hit like freak out mode of oh god has it been months has it been weeks like when was it like I have no idea which is you know I probably should track that I probably should be writing these things down in my calendar uh i'll add that to my to-do list but i always hit that point and every time i hit that point my period starts like the next day it's funny how like i enter this mindset of like oh no i'm pregnant and then immediately

immediately my body's like no no no no girl you're good and previously my periods were really heavy like throughout my teen years and my college years like when I say a super plus tampon every two hours maybe every hour like I was going through it and I really didn't think this IUD was so good for me until I realized how much lighter they made my periods which made kind of my life more manageable because when your periods are out of control and super heavy it's like that's all I could think about all day is like am I bleeding through my pants when do I need to go to the bathroom do I have a tampon and it takes up just so much of your brain power and time and so having this IUD which really has lowered how heavy my periods are made them a little lighter made them

more manageable less crampy that's fantastic while also giving me the security of knowing that I'm not pregnant wow wow is life just so much more easier really like it's great so now instead of having a super plus tampon every two hours it's me free bleeding and free bleeding really has changed my life like even back in the day when I was bleeding super heavily I would just like sit on the toilet for hours and just let it all come out because I didn't want to put a tampon in I was like it's just so much work like if I just sit here and let it all come out like life's fantastic I can let gravity do its thing I really should have invested more time into free bleeding and I'm not saying like you are just bleeding through your pants like I bring up free oh

free bleeding man that is a tongue twister and people who don't know about it men and women are like oh so you're just bleeding all over things and it's like no I'm not like crazy are you kidding me like get a little towel sit on a towel in the comfort of your own home fantastic put a little panty liner on your underwear boom that's free bleeding basically i just can't with the pads that are like ginormous i'm like too much like i'd rather change a panty liner super often um but yeah i love a good just like i'm going to sit on a towel in my house um and let my body do its thing it is so cathartic a cramps aren't as bad b it's more manageable i feel like cleanup wise just throw the towel in the laundry and c i feel like i don't know it just makes me more

connected to my body i feel like sometimes you your body knows what the fuck it's doing and i gotta just let it do its thing and not step in the way um and there's nothing more empowering than that so yeah that's what i'm currently doing i got my little coffee pro tip new favorite coffee thing get yourself like a little mason jar do like cold brew or espresso whatever your favorite coffee is even just drip coffee um i invested in an espresso machine a couple years ago and it has changed my life it is fantastic um so i do like a shot of espresso a little bit of oat milk a little bit of the tarani french vanilla um syrup throw a big ice cube in that bitch put the lid on shake it up yep you can even do brown sugar boom there is a starbucks brown sugar shaken espresso

shake it up oh it's the best coffee ever your life is going to be changed like i just invested in a bunch of these little mini um just like coffee jars well now they're coffee jars but just mason jars and yeah i shake it up whoa life-changing really really recommend um but yeah that's what I'm up to free bleeding and drinking coffee and I have sushi on the way life and my cat sitting next to me wow just a modern day woman living her best life anyways that's what I'm up to that's what I've been doing and that's what I will be doing um now let's get into all of your deepest darkest most interesting questions all right let's get into some questions someone said i need to tell my homie i like him before i move to new york and i don't know how okay

dare i say don't tell him i know okay i'm a big fan of if you have something to say say it you know anti-people pleasing you know you gotta say what's on your mind you gotta open yourself up and say speak from your chest and speak with truth because how are people gonna know how you feel or what's going on within your life or within your mind if you don't say it you know we're not mind readers but sometimes sometimes the things that we're thinking and feeling don't need to come out okay and that's why people journal all right so if your situation is and I understand this and it's very easy to get this feeling confused because you can find very very solid real love in a friendship and you can also find that within a relationship and they're kind of like the same

kind of love and I will argue that maybe friendship love is more beneficial and more I don't know more more uh inspiring than romantic love sometimes just because there's like a pure connection there and sometimes relationships can get messy and rarely friendships get messy unless something crazy happens so I do understand when feelings get you get confused you're like well I'm feeling love but this is a friend and do I love them and do I want a relationship with them and I'm here to tell you it's okay to love your friends like that is good you should love your friends you should hold love for your friends but that doesn't mean when you feel love for someone that doesn't mean they're going to be a good romantic partner and they're going to be a good

partner for you in the future you can hold love for people and understand that they're not going to be a partner like a romantic partner of yours but they are going to be a fantastic friend and if you are moving away let's not make that friendship weird right before moving you know you feel this romantic love you you want to tell them you like them but you're moving away and you're not going to see them for a while let's just keep the relationship good and keep it fun and keep it funky and fresh without making it weird because there's nothing worse there's nothing worse than you having a really good friend and thinking you have a wonderful friendship and thinking wow like this person's going to be a lifelong friend of mine and then that that friend

comes to you and is like, I love you. And you're like, whoa, that is a completely different vibe than what I'm on. Like, sure. I love you. I hold love for you, but I don't see you in like a sexual romantic way. And now it's kind of weird that you do see me in that kind of way. And now we need space, you know? So maybe if you could just keep that to yourself, you know, you're going to move to New York. You're going to find some cute bays there. You're going to fall in love. I guarantee it let this feeling sit within you let it subside move on to the new exciting things you've planned for your life write it down in your journal rip the page out set it on fire whatever you need to do but sometimes dare i say it's good to keep things to yourself especially if you think it's

going to make your life or the relationships around you more complicated when they don't need to be love you someone said confession we need to do a confessionals episode here soon it's a confession just hooked up with my boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend please don't judge i have no one to tell hey i'm not judging i'm not judging i mean i'm gonna assume your boyfriend knows about this i mean i don't know i feel like he might be chill about this considering it's his best friend's girlfriend and like you're both in relationships in a sort of sense maybe could be a weird fun four-way situation who knows but slay queen oh okay someone asked um why does my tolerance come right back after a week break good question

there's many different factors if you were smoking concentrates such as like a dab pen or dabs out of a rig or wax infused pre-rolls or like moon rocks anything like that and yes a dab pen is almost worse than just smoking dabs out of a rig because you are constantly hitting it like every hit is basically like a full dab like your tolerance is gonna skyrocket you're gonna need way more than a week to lower that tolerance like probably up to a month i can't lie depending on how fast your metabolism is but if you fully want it out of your system like you got a drug test it's gonna take a month at least for a good amount of time for your tolerance i would say at least a couple weeks a couple weeks to a month okay like for concentrates it's going to take a while now if you're just

smoking flour and you don't smoke it that often like you're not smoking all day maybe just like a little bit at night yeah a week is usually enough but the key here is when you come off your tea break do not go back to the same flour the same strain that you were smoking before because your body's used to it already your body's gotten used to the effects your body's gotten used to you know all the things about it so the tea break sure it'll do a little bit but it won't do as much as if you simply just switch the strains sometimes when I find myself getting overly used to a strain I will not even take a tea break I will just switch strains to something else maybe a different flower or if I'm smoking too much of one wax I'll try a different wax

and that helps immensely with you know getting those full effects back again so i would say try switching the strain you're smoking um and if you're smoking a lot maybe take longer than a week but definitely do not go back to the same flower same strain that you were smoking before your tea break and also if you need help getting through your tea break as you guys know my favorites past packs they are the best in the business i literally i couldn't recommend anybody else like they are the ultimate best if you're gonna smoke cbd you can use code smoke session for 10 off to help you get through those little tea breaks but yeah try switching up your flower and try if you're smoking concentrates which i know a lot of you guys are addicted to those dab

pens okay try a little bit longer than a week you're gonna need a little bit of time but if you need a friend to help you out past packs does make cbd cards which i love can't lie but yeah someone asked why do men manipulate uh girls don't even get me started on that one it's like ego and a hatred for women like like it makes me think about that jonah hill thing like did you guys see that like he's like well my boundaries are that you can't post bikini pictures and you can't hang out with degenerate friends if it's not just for a respectable lunch and you can't hang out with your male friends and it's like hello she's a surfer of course she's gonna be in a bikini out in public like and he's like these are my boundaries like you can't cross these hello

boundaries are things that you do with your body what you do with your mind not what other people are doing with their body and with their mind and that is fully stemming from his ego not wanting to get hurt you know trying overly hard to protect itself by basically locking this woman inside um while also he hates this woman in a sense because he doesn't want that person to be a person he wants that person to be his little item and a lot of men see women as objects a lot of them so my tip to you if you don't want to get manipulated is as soon as you see a red flag a i do think it's good to bring it up i do think it's good to not just immediately run away like bring it up and be like no you're being fucking crazy right now and if that man can't

sit down and hear your point of view and be like you know what yeah i am being crazy i'm so sorry i will not do that again i really apologize if they can't sit down and say that they're wrong run run it's okay to have a conversation but if they cannot see your point of view and you being like hey that's fucked up you trying to control me or manipulate me or not hear me out or make me feel bad if you verbalize that to someone a lot of the manipulative egotistical males when you say they've hurt you they will immediately get defensive immediately spin it on you immediately make it your fault and if they do that run run as fast as you fucking can because it definitely isn't your fault and that is going to be a cycle for the rest of your life if you

stay with that person so you might as well just cut your losses and move on to because there's a lot there is a lot of good men out there there's a lot of men who want to love you who want to appreciate you who want to hold space for you who are there for you who will show up for you okay and if you don't find that one man is doing it go find another it's so simple it's so simple like do you want to be caught in a abusive relationship or do you want to just cut ties and take take the chance of finding a new one girl take the chance trust me like i'm imagining little 19 year old Hannah right now who was in like a two and a half year relationship caught up with this man who just constantly made her feel awful constantly made her feel unheard

unloved I was chasing after this man this whole relationship because he made me feel like I needed to I wish I would have had the strength and the power to just be like look that man in the face and be like bitch fuck you fuck you you're miserable and you're making me miserable and I don't have time to be miserable I wasted two and a half years being miserable trying to make someone else happy when I knew fully well how to make myself happy like you don't have to convince someone into loving you you don't have to convince someone into figuring out how to love you if they can't do it find someone else who can there's plenty of fucking people in this world who are willing to love you and see you for who they are but yeah a lot of men do not see women as people

and they see them as objects and they want to control you and that stems from a place of ego and it stems from a place of like lack within themselves and if you see that you see even an inkling of that I do believe in conversation and I do believe in bringing it up and if you tell a man who has a giant ego and who seems sees one of his objects that they've hurt you a lot of the times they will just be like no actually you hurt me and it's your fault and you're crazy you shouldn't feel this way because I don't feel this way I didn't do that that as soon as you hear those things as soon as you see it turn on you if they can't sit down hear where you're coming from apologize and fix their behavior they are not a man they're not a man and you do not need them

in their life in your life okay take it from me girl talk 101 cut them out all right like just cut them off someone asked how to not smell like weed uh a smoke outside i feel like that does wonders but I'm an indoor smoker as you guys know and I know a lot of you guys like to smoke inside um and I've recently found this amazing product called cannibalish that I've been obsessed with um they make candles and room sprays all of which are basically just essential oils all natural products so it's not like those horrible fucking like ozone bombs that you put in your car those crazy ones that you put in your house and it's like you have to leave for 12 hours like no I'll smoke blow the smoke out spray it and I'll like watch the spray like devour the

smoke in the air and immediately like my room just smells like lavender it's beautiful they have a natural scented one so if you are kind of like not wanting to smell anything and you just need to burn or spray something to cover up the smell and neutralize it that's perfect but I really like the lavender one oh my god well who doesn't like lavender obviously but I feel like it also adds just an extra little edge to kind of uh cover up the smell and make sure none of your neighbors are going to get annoyed with you you know especially as an adult i'm like i don't want to be that annoying neighbor so let me make sure i light a little cannibalish uh candle it's fantastic but yeah cannibalish check them out i found them on urban outfitters and i was like yep

add to cart they have their own website though um yeah i love them especially their lavender room spray fantastic oh someone asked how to embrace where you are I think this is a fantastic question especially because I've lived a majority of my life constantly either looking forwards or looking back and then you move forwards and then you end up looking back again and you're like wow I really wasn't present at all during that time and I was constantly either daydreaming towards the future or looking back on the past and wishing I had done something different. Both of which will get you nowhere, okay? There is time for the future, but there's no time for the past.

You've ran out of time for the past, so let's just cut that out. If you constantly are living in the past, you will never ever move forward. You will never be able to change the thing. You will never be able to magically create that scenario better. You will never be able to go back in time and change it. so you might as well just say hey we lived it we did it we learned the only thing we can really do is move forward now there is time in the future future is good future is important you should look towards the future and plan things for yourself and get excited about it and dare to

dream a little bit all right but you can't live fully in the future you can't sit around waiting for that future to come because if you are sitting around constantly waiting you will be waiting forever so ultimately the best thing for you to do is stand where you are right now look around you and find gratitude in where you are because a that will make you in the future look back on that moment and appreciate it more not live in the you know fear of did I do something wrong did I live a wrong way I wish I could change it no you were present in that moment you did what you could you you utilize the moment the best you could and then while also living in the moment you are able to take steps to move towards the future bring those dreams those aspirations the things

you daydream about actually into reality but you will not be able to bring those things into reality unless you where you are standing right now find joy and appreciation in what you have no matter where you are. I wish this was a skill I could have picked up in like high school and college. I really took for granted those years and I really just dissociated the whole time when I had a lot of joy and possibility around me that I just didn't see because I wasn't training myself to look for it. You could think you're in the most mundane spot in the entire world, but to the trained eye, you will be able to find joy in everything. Like you could pick me up and drop me off in a cornfield and I will be able to squat down and look at the way the dirt glistens in the

sunlight and the way the bugs crawl on leaves and the green that is shining from the sunlight above me and I will find joy in that like you it is a practice of course always but if you don't practice it you will not be able to move forward and you will constantly be stuck in this like loophole of past present future but really just nowhere like it's like you're standing alone in time and space and that is not fun for anybody and honestly it is what's it's something that contributed to a lot of my depression um constantly not sure where I was going looking towards the past unhappy with where I was during that time um but I think a key factor there if you're feeling caught up in those emotions um a really key important fact for you to focus on is that you have control of your

life you have control of your outlook you have control of kind of what's going on around you sometimes I do understand sometimes the universe throws you a curveball that you were not expecting like I totally get that but you do have a control on how you view it how you approach it um and how you work through those emotions like you have way more control over your life than you really think I feel like when I was younger I felt so out of control because you are kind of out of control you know you have to get through high school you got to go to college whatever it may be you're living under your parents roof you got to follow their rules you want to escape you want to run away you want to be your own person and it makes you feel completely out of control makes you feel

a little lost but even in that moment like looking back I had a lot of control over what I was doing like over my room in my parents house what I did in my room what I wore the electives I took the clubs I joined like I should have paid more closely attention and took advantage of where I was instead of mourning this life that I was never going to live you know like it was never going to be true so why even think about it let's look at where I am right now and appreciate the little things that are around me. If you are able to do that, you will be able to be happy in any situation that you're in. And you will also be able to appreciate the past and the future. And you will be able to slowly work forward towards your dreams and goals from that mindset. So it is

a very, very delicate practice that anybody can practice. And I feel like the best way to do it is really through gratitude journaling. Little end of the day, three to five things that you found joy in and they could be big small any size it doesn't matter you don't have to have experience these grand amazing things to um you know experience joy it could literally be oh my god my cat sat on my lap and he purred so loud like that's what i'm finding joy in right now right now i'm finding joy in this very comfortable couch i'm sitting on i'm finding joy in my coffee and finding joy in my cat who was cuddled up next to me and finding joy in my little house plants that I have put so much time into that are thriving all around me and putting joy into

the sunshine shining through my window and the hot summertime air that's blowing around like it's beautiful what a time to be alive you know um but yeah sometimes you really just have to embrace where you are and don't put so much pressure on yourself you know where you are is good no matter where it is you could be in the depths and the trenches it's okay I get it I've been there it's good you'll learn from it there's something to take away from it future you knows that you right now doesn't know what that is quite yet but that's okay work through it get through it keep stepping forward towards that future um but you have to be able to exist where you are right now and appreciate where you are right now to move forward I love you embracing where you are

is very important even if like you're at a high high or a low low or even just a plateau sometimes the plateau is the best because you really get a moment to actually breathe and take a look around you and take account of your life and where you are the plateau is good I guarantee um some people find that like a like if something low low like especially like within my manic phases when I'm in my low points I find those fulfilling in a sense because it's like like the tortured artist going through it I can make something of this like sure I don't like to enter those that often because they take control of me and then my high highs are you know beneficial because I get so much shit done I'm so excited about life and whoa everything's fantastic and

I feel like I just had 12 espresso shots and those are beneficial in their own sense um but then the plateaus when I feel like nothing's going on I feel like those are the hardest to really embrace and I feel like a lot of us are kind of going through our through that right now especially my girlies who are on summer break it's like well what am I supposed to do where am I who am I um and I would like to tell you that this time this plateau time is the most important because you are finally life is finally giving you a break to take a deep breath to actually like look at yourself in the mirror of life and inspect yourself in a healthy way of course and take note of where you are and appreciate it because this is not going to last forever

you will move on to the greater and better things but right now the universe is giving you a pause in time a moment in time for you to stop to practice joy for where you are to take account for where you are and to dream a little bit for what you want for the future so it really is you know a time for you to like finally breathe take a deep breath let's get some groceries girl let's comb our hair let's take a shower you know that's the things you need to be focused on and that doesn't mean it's unimportant there's different types of important things different types of things you'll have to work through they're not all going to be high highs and low lows you have to learn to embrace that in-between sweet spot of i don't really know what's going on right now

but that's okay i will eventually all i can do right now is face what is directly in front of me and embrace it fully so i was in arizona this weekend and i know i'm fucked up when i i don't even have my phone in my hands like no pictures for hours like i'm talking nine hours haven't touch my phone my poor boyfriend i fell asleep at 6 30 he texted me like 10 o'clock at night he's like i hope you're having fun like he thought i was going out and not updating him i was like no i was dead ass asleep like i was out of it i'd been partying all day like i'm so sorry but i posted this picture and the responses i got of people being like bitch your ass and hips are massive was insane like it was insane um so someone asked

but anyways yeah someone asked me oh my god I lost it oh tips tips to gain healthy weight and keep it girl you just gotta eat you gotta eat and you gotta eat good i made a video one year talking about how to you know it was funny you know laugh haha but how to gain weight and get your ass a little fatter um and it included avocado which i think is honestly very important i do think avocado helps a lot because it's a healthy fat and it's so yummy um and back shots to open up your hips you can also do some yoga you know some nice stretching whatever it may be if you're not in a relationship but i do think those two things along with the not so fun one of i it's just genetic like my dad is very skinny he's like

a runner very athletic um so I have that build underneath like lean muscles small bones but my mom is like supermodel thick like thick in all the right places which I did not get on top unfortunately but I did get on bottom so shout out to her for my giant hips but I do believe tips for gaining healthy weight is to just enjoy life enjoy life eat good food if you really want to you know gain weight in your hips do some yoga do some stretching my favorite is just bending over backwards with my face in a pillow and letting my boyfriend go to town that'll definitely stretch you out um but those are kind of the best ways to do it if you really are trying to focus on certain foods to eat protein is important I eat a lot of eggs chicken's fantastic um I eat a lot

of Mexican food like I love an asada quesadilla some jalapenos but I used to eat and I think this is what did it I used to have a cheese quesadilla with bell peppers in it and like two avocados and like mash them up put them on top and I think the avocados plus the back shots plus of course my genetics that is really what did it but i'm learning to love it i used to be so stick stick thin skinny like i had beautiful abs but it was because i had no body fat in like no places like no titties no ass was bad definitely not great definitely not eating enough but now that i'm eating and i'm having a good time and i'm actually enjoying life like things are great i'm gaining weight in places that i have never gained weight in before such as my ass my titties i have

little bit of a tummy but like love it it's fantastic um and I do think it's a very important step in womanhood of just being like I'm done focusing on my body and focusing on the foods I eat and trying to force myself into this tiny little box that's impossible to fit in why don't I actually just step up and enjoy life in all the different forms that it comes in and it's a challenge unfortunately but the more you practice it the more you realize wow life is meant to be enjoyed and I shouldn't be eating celery and carrots for my meal every single day you know like it's okay to enjoy food and eat good meals and eat healthily and you know it's also important to focus on your body in healthy ways so maybe you switch that mindset from focusing on it and

from a from a narrowing mindset of I have to look this way to an opening mindset of I want to feel my body and i would like to move it more and i would like to take walks or i'd like to move it in this way whatever it may be but life is meant to be enjoyed and have fun and have good sex and have great food okay so good sex and great food is really the top two ways to gain healthy weight and also just improve your life in general someone asked uh how to protect your energy and good vibes and you're an empath and feel others emotions oh this is a good question especially because I feel like a lot of empaths you know you're a highly sensitive person I love being sensitive I love being a sensitive girly like there's nothing wrong with that but I do

like I do feel like the first instinct is to be like okay well I need to cut people off or I need to withhold myself from the world because I am too sensitive and that is not the way to go about it Let's just get that one out of there. The way to protect yourself from the world is by not removing yourself from the world and not removing the world from you. It's by facing it head on and seeing the world for what it is and doing what you can with that information. And that means, A, you can be sensitive for sure, but you can't take everything so personally. It is not all about you it isn't a lot of the times actually a majority of the times it's mostly about other people and how they're feeling and what they're going through a lot of the times has nothing to

do with you so removing yourself from the equation in a healthy constructive way not by you know cutting people off and not by removing yourself from the world but by removing the pressure that you put on yourself by making everything about you that will in turn make things a lot easier for you to approach so when you do approach those hard tasks or those heavy emotions or you know those negative vibes you know you can see them for what they are and help people through them or remove yourself from those people if need be but you cannot take everything so personally it's okay to be sensitive it's okay to feel the world fully it's okay to be a lover girl all those things are fantastic and wonderful and they are not negative qualities but that doesn't mean

everything's about you it doesn't mean the way that that person is feeling has anything to do with you or the way that that person is shooting you a side eye has anything to do with you those a lot of the times how people feel and how people respond to you has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you so that in turn will help you approach the world in a much better open more positive way now since you are a highly sensitive person and an empath you are going to pick up on people's emotions and the vibes and you know sometimes they can be very negative so see those things for what they are and ask yourself like is this a situation i want to be in is this a person i want to be around are these things that i want to involve myself in and if they aren't don't

involve yourself remove yourself from the equation find people who are uplifting who are positive who support you la da da da you know positive uplifting people if you find yourself constantly being around a person they're constantly being negative or they always have something bad to say they're always complaining like and that's too much for you maybe you just need a little bit of distance from that person maybe that person isn't completely healthy for you maybe your vibes don't match and that's okay that's fine but you have to take the situations for what they are see them for what they are and make moves accordingly oh my god my parents have these family pictures in their house i'm sitting in my parents house right now and my like aunt's friend did them and there's something

about midwestern like women and how they edit photos where it's like everybody's orange and then they edit everybody's teeth to be unnaturally white i'm looking at this picture of my family and we all look fucking crazy we look crazy the editing is wild like i really want to be like okay girl just send me the blanks and i'll edit them like i can't be orange with like blinding white teeth that is terrifying anyways sensitive is good but don't put so much pressure on yourself to be so sensitive take things for what they are most of the time it has more to do with other people than it does with yourself remove yourself from the equation in a healthy way not by confining yourself in your home away from the world all right and if you see yourself in a bad situation

sometimes the the key to finding a good situation is to remove yourself healthily okay someone also asked how do you reject someone a healthy way of removing yourself from a situation that you see is not good for you or rejecting somebody or you know maybe it's a bad friend I think the best way to do it is a not by ghosting them and being like this is awful and horrible don't like you you know or being rude in that sort of way the best way to do it is be upfront and honest delicately hey and don't make it about them okay don't be like you're an awful person I hate you be like hey I'm going through some things right now I don't think we can spend as much time together I don't think I can be around you as much I'm so sorry I need some space have a great life

you know I feel like that is really the best way of removing yourself from the situation hey I've got something going on I don't think I can be here I'm going to take some space for myself make it kind of about you because they're not going to be left wondering how was that person feeling when you make it about them and you're like I hate you you're ugly you smell bad whatever it may be then they're sitting there being like oh my god I'm ugly and I smell bad but what was that other person thinking and it leaves them waiting a little bit longer always always always let them know what you're thinking and how you're feeling hey this isn't good for me hey I need some space for myself I need to remove myself from this equation whatever

it may be let them know your moves so they aren't sitting there waiting on you they can move forward on their own I feel like that's the healthiest way of rejecting somebody but don't ghost them don't be super awful and mean to them just let them know hey here's how I'm feeling and here's my plan and my plan moving forward might not include you and it might include a lot more space for myself love you someone asked do you really have a second glow up in your 20s if so what to expect yes you do people think you have like your only glow up ever possible within your teen years and that's not true like you're developing from a child into a teen that's it and you're way more psychotic because your brain all the hormones are flowing you're going crazy

you're still kind of in and out from your adult life and your childhood life it's confusing it's kind of ugly it's not your best brightest times and that's okay it's not supposed to be so forgive yourself offer yourself a little bit of patience you'll be okay now you do go through like your real glow up in your 20s because guess what your body's gonna develop from a teen to an actual adult like you'll become a adult woman or man or adult in general okay you're gonna probably get taller you're gonna get more like fit more full whatever it may be you're gonna actually develop while also your brain's developing and that's the real fucking glow up fuck your body your frontal lobe is fully developed so now you're like you can actually think through situations clearly

you have a level head on your shoulders you can see all sides of things you can make rational decisions for yourself you can see bad things happening and say i want no part of that whereas when you're a teen you know you don't have as much life experience you got plenty of hormones running through you and you're way more unsure of yourself so you're way more willing to make risky unsure decisions when you're older the real glow up is your frontal cortex or your yeah prefrontal cortex oh wow anyways your brain like finishes developing and you're ready to go you're off to the races that's the true glow up that's really all you need to rely on don't focus on your body don't focus on the surface level things the real real glow up is me being able to make rational

decisions for myself love that also my hormones are chilling thank god wow I was crazy when I was younger like I wish someone would have just looked at me and been like this is normal you're not going insane it's your hormones because then I would have been like oh but wow no one told me that so here I am telling you it's okay be patient with yourself be loving towards yourself be more open with yourself um in due time you will develop but it does take time someone asked I want to hear more molly stories oh wow oh wow do I have a bunch do I have a bunch one of my favorites it's so many favorites but back in the day this is what i used to do i used to go to concerts i used to do molly and then i would go to after parties in these warehouses downtown and these

warehouses had like a dj booth they had a pool table they had couches they had people selling things like you could go in it was bring your own drinks uh you said to barely even show id like basically just walk in the door standing upright and you're good um and that's what i would do all week and weekend and it was fantastic and it was really great while I did it and finding these underground communities and these underground kind of like concert venues I think is a very fun thing to do if you are not a frat party kind of bar girl you know like I'm definitely not like a I don't go to bars on the weekends to have fun I don't I wasn't raised in like the frat sorority culture um like I've been to my fair share of frat parties but

it was because there was nothing else to do so a great alternative is really just finding these underground concerts venues small venues basement shows and going to those because you're going to meet amazing people they're going to be a little bit more artistic they're going to be a little bit more creative you know and less like broey fratty which when I was in Arizona I was like why does every man look the exact same and woman honestly it's just the vibe when it comes to like frat and sorority culture like big state school culture um i am not that so yeah what i would do is i would go to raves i would do molly i would hang with the girls and then i would go to these underground warehouse raves um and they were fantastic but i was talking to my friend's

mom about this she's like this is how you know they know how to ask the right questions she she heard me talk about like mentioned my boyfriend she was like instead of being like oh you have a boyfriend or oh what's his name the first thing she asked me about him is are you in love which i think is so precious like the most precious thing ever like yes thank you for asking i am in love actually because you know how many people are in relationships and we'll talk talk talk about it but aren't in love like that is the important question to ask yes are you in love absolutely but when i first met him i was like i said in the beginning in this big party phase of mine like huge party phase and one hot summer during COVID me and my co-workers we all

lost our job at the same time which my co-workers were also the people who kind of got me into this I mean I got myself into the party molly molly girl phase but also like they definitely helped out because they were into the same things as I was but during COVID one day we we all got fired at the same time not fired a restaurant closed down you know casualties COVID a restaurant closed down so we were all out of jobs so we are like well we've been around each other so often we're basically like our own little pandemic family like we're not spreading it to each other we're just around each other we might as well just keep hanging out like we've we've been around each other every single day for the past three years including during COVID when we were forced to work

we finally were losing our jobs we've been around each other so much let's keep hanging out so one day we all meet up for brunch um at someone's house and we have mimosas we're hanging out in like hammocks we're doing our thing and we eat some food and we're like you know what let's keep these good times rolling you know like let's keep let's keep having fun like why not so they all go their separate ways to go find bathing suits and more drinks and me and a friend of mine end up at target and we buy five baby pools okay five baby pools drag them back to my parents house because they were out of town drag them back to my parents house five baby pools in the backyard fill them up with water i'm not even in my swimsuit i'm just in my underwear we're kicking it hanging out

definitely on a little bit too much molly playing songs like making tea hanging out chilling in these baby pools in the summer rolling our balls off giggling having a blast like when i say i was i i was like crazy party like yeah to me i was like absolutely get five baby pools load them up with cold ass water let's sit in the sun all day like what's better than that you know what i mean why not why not so 12 hours later from the morning now it's like six seven o'clock at night and me and my boyfriend were just talking at the time but he like called me up and he's like hey you know like what are you doing tonight and I was a mess of course and I'm like I don't know what are you what are you doing tonight like come out here come party with

us my co-workers were like yelling over the phone like yeah come out here we want to meet you come hang out and he's not that kind of person he's like not about the party so he was like I'm good you have your fun you do your thing we'll see each other my ass blacked out after the phone call this isn't healthy actually I don't think I was completely blacked out I think I haven't later but definitely shouldn't have been a car but I got a car somehow made it to my boyfriend's house showed up on his front porch he's like oh hi hello I'm like stumbling over myself knocking things off the wall spilling drinks and walking away like a complete and utter mess like you know those days where you're just a mess and you wake up the next day and you're like oh god

oh god I'm so sorry you know like that kind of vibe he saw me in that state and he was like giggling and like you're a blast like he was looking at me like this is so cute like you're having the time of your life right now and it's adorable and i love watching it and after that i was like oh he's the one he can see me in my most like rat girl state like jaw clenched miss molly taken over so drunk just been chilling all day in these gross ass hot ass baby pools and he sees me and he's like oh woke up the next day somehow not hung over drove back to my house left my friends at my parents house keep in mind I just disappeared they're here alone in my backyard in my parents house

party's still going like they're still throwing a party still doing their thing I show back up at like 8 a.m because he had to go to work they're outside drinking tea and like watching a movie and doing their thing like still here like oh hey where'd you go what are you doing how are you how are you doing oh my god like 24 hours of partying that's what it would be then i would take a nap and then i would just like keep going i'm sure it kept going i'm pretty sure i got there and then we were like okay let's what what's on the agenda for today like we're out of a job what do we do yeah i've had i have many stories there's also this time i was seven minutes later there's also this time i was saved by a furry in a club post breakup last last boyfriend uh for valentine's

day or whatever i had gotten him tickets to a rave and you know i was getting ready in the bathroom we start fighting per usual like if you're fighting every week no but this was like every other week or every other day which is even worse like you should not be fighting every week let alone every every other day so I'm in the bathroom getting ready and of course you know he starts another fucking fight with me he's like playing his video game and I'm getting ready like I'm all dolled up I got this hot ass mini skirt on like my titties are good eyelashes is glued on hair curled I'm like already eating some molly which it takes a while to kick in but I'm like preparing myself and he's like you know what I don't think I want to go anymore

like I don't think we're going anymore I don't want to go anymore like okay I got these tickets for you for Valentine's Day and you're not going this is like the night the night we broke up I was like fuck you it's over you're a fucking loser like I just was fed up fed up and sometimes as a woman you got to get to that point of being like I'm done with your bullshit it's over I'm getting out of here and I'm gonna go have a blast like I was literally on my way to a rave to go party I texted my friends out of town I was like I just pulled up to this rave I'm on Molly we broke up they're like what oh my god girl someone needs to come get you I was like no I'll be fine I promise pull up to this rave go down having a blast dancing my life away having a great time

meeting people chit-chatting met the opener chit-chatted with him took off ended up at a club now I'm at this club a little too fucked up free drinks you know finding their way to me as they do a little too much molly and i'm like standing next to like the bathroom area and this guy comes up to me he's a little too pushy a little too aggressive i'm like i don't like this i don't like this i don't like this like get away from me so i look to my left and there's a bathroom run over to the bathroom run inside and me like like lock myself in this door or in the stall sit there like what the fuck am i gonna do because that guy's right outside the bathroom like he watched me go into the bathroom i'm like hopefully he got the the feel and is like okay i'm gonna leave this girl

alone because men are fucking weird like they'll follow you around like sometimes you have to like yell at them be like go away you fucking creep and please do like when you are not feeling it push those men men away you don't have to be polite anymore okay they're overstepping you you're not overstepping them so tell them to fuck off but i was in this bathroom i step outside i peek outside the little the the uh door and he's still out there i was like fuck no okay i look to my left there's this girl this cute girl and clip on furry ears hanging out doing her thing washing her hands she's gorgeous like a radiant aura is glowing around her and i'm like i just walked up to her like you know sometimes as a young girl when you see an

older like a older girl and you're like I can trust her with my life that's what I did I walked up to her and I said there's this man waiting outside for me and I don't know what to do she jumped into action jumped into action grabbed my hand said don't look back hold my hand as tight as you can and follow me I just like closed my eyes grabbed her hand and stared like stared at her little fuzzy ears as we ran through the crowd and I saw this guy like trying to catch up to us but we were going we were booking it booked it right up the stairs to vip she had her own table she sat me down she said anything you want it's on us stay here hang out here you're good up here he can't get up here obviously like just be here do your thing vibe love you girl wow sometimes

you need an angel to rescue you and she really did in her furry ears and everything and even when I got home later that night she texted me and she was like hey girl she found me on Instagram she's like hey girl uh just wanted to make sure you got home okay love you love that energy love it anyway that's why I love raves and I love that kind of community because everybody's there for each other everybody's showing up for each other everybody wants to make sure you're safe having fun I mean there are literal mottos like plur peace love unity you respect like everybody's there to have a good time everybody's watching out for each other if anybody's a fucking creep people are quick to step in if anybody looks like they're not having a good

time people are quick to step in and make sure they're feeling good they're all right they got water they need the med tent if they need that's why i love that shit now i can't be as much of a party girl as i used to be for the benefit of my own health like my brain was literally leaking out of my ears if you're going to do molly please do not do it every week please do not do it even every month once a year maybe at max I haven't done it in years I don't plan on doing it anytime soon because although it is a very very very fun thing it's a very hard drug and it's not good for you whatsoever no matter how the effects feel definitely not good for you so be careful love you stay safe have fun all those experiences that I did have that I was a hot mess rat girl in like

I could have still had fun sober a million percent and I wish I could have gone back and told little Hannah like hey you don't need to do all this to have fun like you can be here and exist and still have fun and have a great time and that's what I'll be doing this weekend at Breakaway Festival and I can't wait I'm gonna have a liquid death in both hands and a joint in my pocket and I'm still gonna have as much fun as i did back when i was 19 20 21 you know love you uh my molly phase wow it was a lot someone asked uh new trends you love right now i'm loving the trend of people getting out into nature and like being naked or like in all white like i lost my nails on that jet ski like i i know i'm going crazy when i lose an acrylic nail because those things are one okay

now my nails are short and nubby and painted sparkly purple and I think I'm gonna leave it that way for just just a second you know just let them breathe to do their thing but I'm kind of loving the natural vibe of of as of recently like uh Kim Kardashian recently just traveled to Kanye West's abandoned property in Wyoming and she was like out in nature she's like this is my happy place it's like trees and grass like yes i love that because that's what i fed off as a child it's just like being barefoot running around the woods around nature by open water swimming having a good time and i used to think like oh i'm a city girl i need to live in the city i need to be in new york and that was the vibe over pandemic because we we couldn't move and get around so

like everybody was moving and moving to big cities and the city life was a thing but now like that um cottagecore you know like homestead life is really big and honestly i'm really looking at my priorities as of recently and i'm kind of like maybe i need just like a farmhouse out in the country and some chickens and to make my own fresh bread and grow some strawberries and survive through the winter like and to lay naked in grass like maybe that's what I need so that's my new favorite trend love it get out in nature go smell a fresh flower today someone asked healthy love bombing is that a thing is infatuation always toxic no well love bombing being healthy not a thing infatuation is not always toxic in fact having a crush oh my

god is healthy when did it become not healthy to have a crush like i don't know when the trend became to be like i'm gonna put a wall up and if they don't behave a certain specific way that i want then i'm gonna cut them off completely and cut myself off from the world like why do we have so many rules and regulations about the way we behave and other people behave like give yourself up to life give yourself up to your emotions a little bit especially love sorry i'm i devoured some sushi and chugged some uh razz cranberry sparkling water so i'm going through it right now my stomach is like whoa anyways crushes are amazing love is amazing if you are feeling that feeling lean into it completely completely being in love is so fun having a crush is so fun the

only time it gets unfun is when you are changing yourself like hurting yourself in any way distancing yourself from yourself pushing yourself away the truest and most real form of connection in love is two people meeting each other exactly where they are opening themselves up fully being like hey this is how i am the good and the bad and you're gonna take it as i come and we're gonna have a great time being with each other and having fun you know love is amazing love is beautiful lean into it you guys love isn't this evil awful horrible thing that people on tiktok push you to believe it is like stop making so many rules for your life and rules for yourself and just enjoy what finds you okay now it's okay to meet someone and you know feel this way and know that it's not

gonna work or know that it's not gonna go as far as it should but it's also okay to have fun until it's not okay that's what me and my boyfriend always said to each other when we were first seeing each other because you're a little nervous we had just gotten out of very toxic relationships on both sides and we were a little scared of love but we were still having a great time and opening ourselves up fully and being our true selves and that's why I say whenever you go on a first date act the way you would with your best friend because if they can't accept you in that condition why the hell are they going to be able to accept you in a relationship you're going to constantly be putting on this face and that's not fun okay act the way you would with your best friend if

they can't get with the program, then get the fuck out. But that's how I approached him. And he got it. And he understood it. And he accepted me fully. But we were always like, we're gonna have fun until it's not fun. And we're still having fun. Like, I haven't looked around me and been like, this isn't fun. I'm having a bad time. Because if it was, then that's a moment that you have to talk to them and be like, that's not good. And it could be in a week, it could be in a month, or it could be like me. And it's like, we're three years deep, and we're still having a great time but you have to be vulnerable and open with yourself and you can't set all these weird rules and boundaries for these people you gotta let them show up as who they are and they're

either gonna get it oh my god or they're not gonna get it and if they don't get it then they're not the person for you but if they get it and you're in love and you're having a fucking great time or maybe just like a little crush and you're dating and you're seeing each other have fun oh my god just have a blast okay infatuation is healthy as long as you're not losing yourself in it and you're not making yourself the second priority yourself should always be the first priority but sometimes like the way you're feeling and the love you're feeling is your first priority do you know what i mean love bombing is never healthy love bombing is someone treating you one way and then turning around in a short amount of time not years like weeks or months and becoming

a whole different person they're using the way that they behave towards you to make you fall in love with them and then using that to control you which is what a lot of those relationships where it's like you should only marry for money you should only marry for this you should only marry a lot of those like girls who push that on tiktok you're gonna be in a relationship where they're gonna love bomb the fuck out of you and then you're gonna have to deal some with some really shitty behaviors in the future so if you want a real love you set those boundaries for yourself you set those preferences for yourself but don't hold yourself to other people's preferences and other people's beliefs okay give into love have a good time life is meant to be

enjoyed and to thrive in okay and if you are falling in love then let yourself do it it's so fun it's such a fun feeling and it's such a beautiful abundant feeling that you can find in so many different places so open be yourself someone will appreciate just who you are but infatuation yes it can be healthy it should be coming from both places to be healthy that is the key thing there oh this is a cute one to end it on someone said hello girl how to be more kind Not nice but kind. Great question. I feel like niceness and kindness are very similar but kindness holds more space for the world around them and more space for things they don't understand. So kindness comes from compassion and a curiosity to understand. I feel like the

kindest souls that you ever meet are the older people who have experienced so much but know that there's always more to experience and approach the world with open and loving arms and that's really the energy that I try especially now as I'm getting older and figuring more things out like that's the kind of energy that I really want to approach the world with like I want to be the old wise grandma that everybody comes to whenever they have a problem and everybody's seeking out as a as a means for for someone to just understand um and someone who is curious about everything I just finished another Eve Babbitt's book every plane ride I have I read an Eve Babbitt's book but this one is called sex and rage advice to young women and it is about a woman and her life

and her experiences from the ages of when she was young to when she's older and the first half is like her party world experience getting lost in the madness of what life is and lost in boys and lost in love and then the second half is her getting sober figuring out what she wants to do who she is and being serious about it and the very very last chapter is her sitting down with her godmother who is this like 90 year old woman who you know won't even let her godmother or her godchild carry the tray of tea to the table like she is there doing it and they sit down and she's like so tell me everything and eve babbitts's character finds so much comfort in this woman because she can talk and talk and talk about everything that's going on within her life and

in fact her godmother wants to hear every single detail and is not going to judge she's going to sit there and listen and approach that person with compassion as she does to everybody like she talks about how she married this man and the man died and didn't leave any money to the the grandchildren or his children but left everything to the godmother and the children at first find that outlandish and insane and why would he ever and start suing her and she you know finds this as a new opportunity to learn about law and to get to know every piece and point of law and not only get to know law but get to know the lawyers and in fact remember the lawyers grandchildren's names and in turn turns that kindness and compassion to the children who are suing her and just everybody

around her can't help but fall in love with her even when they're suing her and eventually drop it and it's like that's the kind of energy that I want to hold the kind of space where it's like people can be themselves and people can be who they are and whether I know what that means or not and whether I approve what that means or not I can still sit there and hold a conversation and approach with kindness and compassion that is really who I want to be and how I want to experience life I think it's a perfect way to end the book because the character looks up to her godmother so so much and it's a perfect way of ending it where she's like finally getting her life on track like in her mid-30s and is like speaking to this older woman version of who she

wants to be and it's a beautiful foreshadowing of like who she's going to become and how there's so much opportunity around here her and so much space for kindness and compassion if you hold it and if you approach the world in that way and it's usually received very very well so the way to be kind is to really just open yourself up don't close yourself off hold space for others and approach with compassion I feel like that's truly what kindness is about but I love you I hope this has been fun I hope you had a good time this has been a blast I just devoured some sushi and I am ready for a nap smoked salmon nigiri is my weakness oh it's so good that and a LaCroix wow there's nothing better on a beautiful little tuesday and i get to hang out with my girls

come on now you guys know where to catch me on instagram if you're curious with keeping up with my day-to-day life um it's at hannah marlene if you want to join the patreon and see all the vlogs the various journal prompts and things that i post on there i believe it's under smoke says shawty or hannah marlene it's in my bio in my instagram but you guys you guys know where to find me i love you all i hope you have a fantastic amazing rest of your day and i cannot wait to see you next week