Smoke Sesh - accepting change, navigating anxiety & living a slow life

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

helloooo everyone happy Tuesday to all my hotties of the world, so excited to be back with another fun episode of the podcast, first we touch on the chaos of energies in the universe right now. Navigating the Venus retrograde and how to honor the Leo New Moon tomorrow, and then we jump right in to all your favorite questions ! Small dicks, are they really a problem? And what to do about it, accepting growth & change especially with an adult body, learning to decenter your body from your purpose, navigating anxiety and accepting change, leaning into newness, high emotions and healing anxieties, Molly, fucking over your exes, learning about sex and leaning into your sexiness, hyping you up for college, navigating a breakup when they simply won’t change, period sex, frat parties, drama free life, job interview, tampons, red flags from emotionally available men, how to live a slow life, should you be in a relationship in college? where do I see myself a year from now, journal prompts, cheesy ramen recipe, eating ass, how to romanticize your life, and much much muchhhhhhh more. I love you all so much!!!! Go after what you want! Stand tall and proud! See you all next week! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Oh wow, good morning! How are we doing? Hello hotties of the world, are we surviving?

are we getting through this venus retrograde are we doing our best that's really all you can do at this point in time my god i don't know why the universe is just like literally like uprooting us like i'm a tiny little plant who's growing out of my um pot like i have too many roots i'm a little crowded but i'm i'm snug as a bug like i'm comfortable and the universe is coming in and literally like digging her fingers in and just like picking me up out of the pot and shaking me around and hopefully soon replanting me into a bigger more comfortable pot but my god if i have not just been let's just put it as challenged recently you know the universe said oh anxiety stress let's practice those emotions let's work through them so that's what i've been dealing

with recently i hope you guys are all doing well doing okay i'm here to tell you that change doesn't have to always be so scary although it is usually just slightly terrifying it just means bigger and better things are coming a new bigger better pot for you to grow into and fit into but yes the transformation of it all is a little scary and that's why i'm gonna take a bong rip within the first two minutes of this podcast usually you know usually we get a couple minutes into it like at least five six but this time around i just we gotta we gotta dive right in you know what i mean i don't have a whole lot to catch you up on the main things that i've been going through i'm still kind of working through and when i have a good answer for what those are i will

love to tell you but for now all i can really do is put one foot in front of me and look forward to the good such as being here with you guys getting to hang out getting to escape the world a little bit that's like my favorite part getting to learn something in the process have a little laugh smoke a little bit today's my day off this weekend was crazy at my work um so i am excited to kind of start my little weekend here enjoy it i have a new go-to coffee um i was addicted to the oh god i don't know if i'm gonna be able to say this in a sentence oat milk brown sugar shaken espresso i think that's what they're called anyways why would you as a company put that many words into a title of a 16 ounce drink that's crazy to me

but i have learned how to make those at home and my life has been changed for the better and it makes waking up every morning like so exciting instead of sitting in bed for like 30 45 minutes scrolling on my phone i am like immediately as soon as like i gain consciousness i'm up i'm up and i'm making my little my uh little coffee here so a you're gonna start out with your coffee i love my espresso machine you guys already know it's one of my faves i use like two shots of espresso in mine um but you can use just like cold brew regular coffee literally anything works and what i usually take a mason jar with a lid okay mason jar i put my coffee in there i put two tablespoons of brown sugar i put a little bit of cinnamon i think cinnamon is really what

sells it for me and then like a cup of oat milk whatever throw that lid on shake that bitch up oh my god now i don't have to spend eight dollars every morning my life has changed for the better it is so good so anyways i woke up had my two shots of espresso and then something else i've been implementing to my life that has been life changing is um my uh oh my god i'm blanking oh my kombucha my kombucha every morning I was like going through the worst stomach problems like not IBS things just like bloated and I don't know I I usually don't get too bloated unless I'm like eating food I'm like why am I waking up bloated in pain and then of course I'm crazy so my first thought is like yeah I'm pregnant no no girl you just you gotta get your stomach figured out

so every morning um on like an empty stomach i just take two or three chugs of my kombucha the synergy kombuchas are the best the lemon berry flavor is my absolute favorite right now i'm drinking mango something i don't know it's not as good i like the lemon berry um and yeah like one bottle of that lasts me pretty much a week i don't drink a whole bottle that a day i've heard that's just like crazy for your body so just a little bit in the morning solved literally problem solved crazy that never happens like i'm like let me try something and then it actually works out so love that for me it's really all i've been doing now i'm excited to smoke hang chat with you guys and that's pretty much my day maybe i'll get outside it's kind of cool here i'm

ready to like deep dive into fall like i'm ready to get my long sleeve t-shirts out the earth is not sure about that yet i think it's supposed to be like 90 again next week but for now i'm cosplaying fall i'm like when can i start buying my pumpkins anyways let's hit this let's get into it love you okay you know what we're gonna start off swinging here someone asked really like this guy but i saw his dick and it's very small i really don't want it to be a problem i hear you on that girly i i really do a you know maybe he's a grower not a shower i don't know if you saw it on soft or on hard but maybe you know men are really crafty in the bedroom of like being able to make it up in different ways does that make sense like maybe he's really good at something else and

that overshadows you know or mentally adds on another couple inches do you know what i mean give him give him a chance you know maybe he's packing something in there that you don't you could have never expected I personally I don't get the whole dick size conversation I feel like that's kind of like a man thing to be like I have to be the biggest swinging dick in the room like uh no I don't want something that I'm gonna sit on and it's gonna break me in half like personally no thank you I'm like an everyday kind of dick like a chill medium-sized fantastic beautiful like it's not gonna internally injure me okay like dick size i feel like doesn't matter as much to girls we just care if we're gonna feel it that's that's about it like as long as i can

feel it and it feels good fantastic amazing also sex can look like so many different things it doesn't always have to be p and v you know what i mean so that's why i'm like maybe he can work it out some other kind of way anyways i say give it a shot try it out try it on for size see if it fits if not that's okay there's plenty of dicks in the world you can find another oh let's talk second puberty here i went up in size uh the past year so i just treated myself to a new wardrobe of thrifted clothes i love it i recently have noticed that about myself too listen i used to be stick thin like idealized stick thin but i was also at my unhappiest i had ever possibly been tbh like i really wasn't feeling great about myself even at that point in

time so then i took a moment i worked on myself i really focused on kind of like detaching and de-centering like my looks and my body from my life because really like that's the least interesting fucking thing about me um and yeah in the process I gained healthy weight but then it threw me for a loop because I was like putting on clothes and the clothes are making me feel uncomfortable but I do have a I enjoy putting together outfits and feeling good about myself in an outfit so then I just like wasn't feeling good again and really like honor your adult body honor like your body changing and just buy a new t-shirt buy something that's going to fit you you don't have to fit into the same clothes that you wore in like eighth grade that's crazy of course

your body's gonna change you're gonna grow you're gonna put on a couple pounds who cares that just means you can have a new style uh evolution and so i have been doing the same thing recently and kind of like honoring my new body in that kind of way and being like oh well you know maybe these tight ass fucking skinny jeans don't fit but they were uncomfortable anyways and i want to find a new style and i want to dress according to my body now so i wear like flowy skirts and mini skirts and fun little shorts and things that actually fit me and oh my god it's been a very very fantastic and fun way to kind of honor this new body in this new era and i highly recommend it okay your body fluctuating and changing in size is very normal you just also have to fluctuate

and change with it and you're not gonna fit into the same jeans you fit into like four years ago so it's time to buy a new pair I love a longer question um like yes I need every single detail please I'm leaving for college on Friday and tell me why the past two weeks have been emotional hell like I'm so excited to start college and I've been counting down the days but I'm also having multiple mentees a day about leaving my hometown and my family I'm just anticipating the insane transitional period that is to come and it feels so disorienting i feel this i do feel this i feel like collectively we're kind of all at a point where something big is coming and it's a big change and we can all feel it coming but there's nothing we can really do but like sit and wait

it's almost like when you're in the ocean and you see far out and you see a big fucking wave coming and all you can really do is like you're not going to swim towards it you're not going to swim away from it it's just sit and wait and take on the wave the best you can and it is a little anxiety inducing especially when you can't really do anything to make the wave come any faster to jump on it any faster you have to let nature and the universe really go on its own like timeline and its own course of action um and yeah i feel this i'm not even starting college but i feel you know changes in the air big things are coming i'm a little anxious about it i am having also like high emotional um mentee bees for no reason um what do I do and the best thing I can

really really tell you there's a couple tips here a like emotionally purge so there's a few things happening in the universe right now um we're going through a venus retrograde which is also kind of why we're also like going through breakup season um a lot of people are realizing oh i want a new thing i need a new thing i need to move forward and i don't think our paths are aligned anymore that's okay that's amazing um but venus retrograde does have a habit of bringing those to light the people that need to move forward with life um and also we have a leo new moon tomorrow which is all about taking hold of your future and going into it just head on um and trying to do your best and be your biggest most brightest self in the process and with those two conflicting

emotions or those two conflicting events there is a heightened sense of emotions for everybody right now so if you find that you're just like constantly going through it have a good emotional purge like specifically tonight before the new moon tomorrow on the 16th have a good emotional purge where you can just like take a good like couple hours if you need it to just cry have your emo moment like lay on the shower floor walk around the local park at night with your headphones on stay safe but like have that emo moment that you need that like teenage indie movie moment to purge those emotions and really figure out what do I want to leave in the past and what do I want to bring forth into the future by doing this you'll kind of feel a little bit more in control

of the life around you like sure you're not in full control but having a sense of control or simply understanding of your emotions does wonders to really just you know make things more comforting so emotional purge let it out look at the past and look at those experiences and ask yourself what sucked what was good and what do i want to bring into the future and then the new moon in leo once you kind of have that emotional purge and you get rid of all the the negatives the bad feelings feel them fully you'll be able to step into the excitement and the newness and how beautiful and wonderful that is of what the future is going to bring it's nerve-wracking i get it but there's so much beauty and amazing experiences that you're gonna have that you simply could

never possibly imagine that are going to kind of be brought forth and you're gonna fall in love with them and you can never imagine them you can't control your life into being able to experience these things you have to let them come at their own pace so give in dare to dream hold possibilities for yourself get excited allow yourself to be excited you know i think daydreaming is such a powerful tool and it gives us so much hope for the future so lean into that feeling do some manifestations i wrote a little excerpt about this on the patreon um and i said trust that your intentions will appear because you are worthy of them and that they belong to you leo teaches us that courage comes when we face our vulnerabilities and love ourselves through them it reminds us

that courage and confidence are formed when we show up and commit to something even when we are afraid bravery does not mean that you aren't scared it means you go on despite the fear it means that you put your whole heart into your intentions even when you don't know their outcome it's what tells the universe you are ready for your intentions it's what it's what tells your energy to start manifesting them the new moon and leo will be emotionally challenging but we can survive we put our needs first this is the time to be selfish and run towards whatever makes us happy stand tall and proud when gravitating toward your own destiny create the life you deserve and want that's the best advice i can really give you for right now you are also um not a victim of your

emotions you are living alongside them but you can't let them take control of you they all do have a meaning and you should lean into that and understand where those anxieties are coming from but also remember to comfort them and to let them go when they need to be let go and like remember to treat yourself go eat your favorite ice cream in your hometown go have your favorite meal go do that favorite thing that you do with your friends before you leave get a little nostalgic like take a bubble bath take a long hot shower eat your favorite food watch your favorite nostalgic movie like that's kind of the energy I feel like especially when I'm stressed out those are kind of the things I do to really release and let go of those unwanted anxieties

and stressors if you work out work out that's fantastic me personally i'm a bubble bath girl i'm a face mask and bubble bath and i'm gonna turn on lana del rey like that's the kind of energy and like comforting um practices that i have done since i was younger that i constantly lean back into lean into those especially during this time someone said just took molly for the first time at a music festival and holy shit i can see why people get addicted yep i remember taking molly for the first time and i just thought to myself this is gonna be a problem and then guess what it was so remember stay safe remember know your limits um and don't do drugs great question how do i fuck my ex over in a nice but cunty way um literally i think you need to

just act like and pretend they never existed of course learn from the situation that they put you in so it never fucking happens again but literally i think the best form of revenge is just pretending like they don't exist anymore i don't care if you have classes with them i don't care if you see them every wednesday for some odd reason i think you like it's like silent treatment like no thoughts no attention directed that way if they aren't physically around you get rid of the notes get rid of the photos get rid of you know all of that shit and move on move on to bigger and better things act like they basically fucking died like because especially with manipulative men and angry men and men who are desiring of your attention they don't care if it's good or bad um and that's

why your ex who was horrible and awful to you probably still reaches out they want attention whether it's making you mad making you upset making you happy making you angry they simply want an ounce of your attention and i think the silent treatment is the best way to go out of sight out of mind on to bigger better things someone asked not as sexually experienced and how to feel more confident in myself so I feel like I don't know when you don't really know a whole lot of about sex or you haven't had a lot of experience you think with experience comes more of a feeling of sexiness because ultimately you're going to be more comfortable in it which I mean makes it makes a little bit of sense but I honestly think most of feeling comfortable in your sexuality and

in your sexual experience and in yourself sexually comes from spending time with yourself sexually whether it's like allowing yourself to fantasize or you know more one-on-one time or just like feeling yourself or getting used to your body like things like that I think make you way more comfortable in sex and in new relationships regarding sex I don't necessarily think it needs to come from experience um because I left I lost my virginity um later I would say than most people like I was out of high school um and I think that even though I lost it later and you would think my anxieties would be higher I spent a lot of time before that um with myself and you know one-on-one time with myself and masturbating and being with myself sexually before I was ever

with a man sexually and although like of course new experiences do bring with anxiety and a little bit of unsureness I feel like I was pretty comfortable because I knew what I wanted and I knew how I wanted it to go and I also wasn't afraid to take the reins and you know make sure that this sexual experience was fun for me you know like I know what I like I know what I want to happen I'm going to introduce that to my partner um and simply knowing and knowing what you like and knowing how you feel sexy and when you feel sexy and what turns you on there's so much more power in that than any sexual experience with a man will ever bring tbh so i think spend some more one-on-one time you know you don't have to go out and have like all these relationships

or all these experiences understand what you like and then get comfortable with that and then you know go out and experience don't be afraid have fun lean into your sexual nature there's nothing wrong um about that um it's actually quite beautiful you know what i think it's time for another bowl that's what the universe is doing to me my god i'm like we need to get high and chill out on my day off like that is literally the only thing on my list of to-dos mental health love i need to take care of her i need to get high and chat with the girlies it's all i care about cheers someone said need some college hype i'm moving in tomorrow and getting the scaries you got this girl you're gonna kill it literally like i believe in you it is a little scary because

it's new but it's nothing like high school it's gonna be harder but it's gonna be way more rewarding like the free time you're gonna have you're actually gonna feel like kind of an adult because you're like having free time um and it's on your own schedule make sure you get that motherfucking homework done and turned in before you go out and have fun okay that's rule number one as long as you literally follow only rule number one you'll have a good time having fun's important but school is also very important make friends put yourself out there okay try new things go to new places don't be afraid to go to the school orchestrated events they usually always have free food at them and like free really good food so go do that go get some free food out of

it go meet a few people go chit chat go have fun go run around but make sure you get that motherfucking homework done and turned in period that's all that matters okay I wish I would have just put that's like the one thing I wish I could have changed about my college experience is like get up go to class the in-between times that you don't have class don't go back to your dorm room get your homework done or the stuff you need to get done before your next class go to your next class you know when you're finally done the things that you have to get done before tomorrow go do them do them with a friend that always makes it easier but get them done and then go out and have fun okay because I would just get out of class and

I'd be like mentally clocked out like no girl you got to get on your zoom every morning you got to get on your zoo you know but you're gonna have so much fun literally you're gonna have a blast i had a blast in college although i was studying something i didn't like um i look back at the experiences that i did have and i really had so much fun stay safe make good friends finish your homework but you're entering a new chapter of your life that um i think you are really going to love someone said broke up with my boyfriend because he started smoking pills why is this the hardest thing i've ever question mark yeah yeah i would also be breaking up with my boyfriend if he was smoking pills so let me just say you're not in the wrong here um but it really does suck when

you have a partner that you love to fucking death but they can't seem to be good to themselves and in turn it's hurting you and you just can't be there anymore like it's not in your best interest for yourself or either of you for you to be in the relationship it fucking sucks that's the worst and it is the hardest even when you're like baby all you gotta do is stop smoking pills and we could be together and be so in love and he's like no i want to smoke the pills and you're like well what the fuck like that's so hard like my last boyfriend i was like please just stop emotionally abusing me and he's like i don't think i can do that it's like what the fuck these men are insane but you are not the wrong one for leaving okay you are not the wrong

one sometimes you gotta get up like no one else is gonna get up for you you gotta get up you gotta to make the hard decision and you got to realize if I want my life to change and change for the better unfortunately it doesn't involve me being here and I guarantee if you have the strength and the power and the courage to stand up and make that change in your life even though it is hard the universe will reward you with something so much better and she will uplift you she will hear you and your courage that it took and she will reward you so stay strong know what is good for you especially when you feel like if your ex is a little unhinged or it's going to be detrimental for you both if you both get in contact with each other make sure they stay blocked make sure you

know you have your distance and you have your space so you can heal but I guarantee you are a million percent doing the right thing you got to make sure you're safe and you're taken care of and if that boy is just dragging you down girl he's just a boy okay and you got to step up and take control of your life and what you deserve okay I love you everything will be okay there is so much good coming your way I'm so proud of you for being so strong and doing um what was necessary but i do understand the pain and how hard it is being like all you gotta do is change so hard because a lot of humans don't change and that's what you gotta recognize period sex opinions me personally pretty fucking indifferent to it like i see period sex as regular

sex and if a man looks at a period as like gross or weird or something other than just thinking it's a normal part and a normal bodily function of women he's too immature to be having sex period literally period like you as a woman can feel how you want to feel about it i get when you're like too crampy and you're like i obviously don't want to dick inside me like i get that but also if you're horny honor that put a towel down do in the shower you know like it'll be okay it's not going to be as crazy or chaotic as you're thinking it's going to be it's not too much different than just regular sex tbh if you're in the mood go for it girly oh now this is a topic we can get into dorm and party tips great question yeah i basically well i almost dropped out the

first year because i was partying too much and then i actually dropped out the second year because I was studying too much and it was eating away my brain. So let me give you just some tips and tricks. It is okay and healthy to party in college. That's what it's about. You're supposed to go out and enjoy your time and treat yourself after studying to these fun events and these big things going on so yeah every Friday Saturday night I was usually at a frat party um or I was at a house party of sorts or I was at a dorm party rule number one dorm parties I think if you're going to be drinking and smoking or anything like that do it off campus okay because you don't want to be involved with the campus police that's just embarrassing just do it off campus if you're gonna

to have anything in your dorms put them in a different sort of bottle a water bottle a i don't know but don't just have bottles in your room you will get in so much trouble you might lose a scholarship it's not worth it do your partying off campus make sure you have a safe way to arrive at your destination and get home mine was walking with my friends um we weren't really driving we weren't going to take ubers because we were broke so we walked to these places we always did our partying off campus if you're going to these frat parties don't get so blacked out that like you can't make it home once again you got to be able to get home or that you don't have friends who will be able to take you home you got to stay safe you got to stay aware of your surroundings

um yeah don't do your partying on college campus the amount of people that i saw like get written up or you know lose scholarships because they had so many open bottles in their room it's just not worth it don't smoke in your room i don't know why you would ever think smoking weed in your dorm room was a good idea do that shit outside do it off campus um that's probably what i'm going to recommend edibles are always fun i'm not gonna lie you can do those anywhere um but be safe on campus have fun off campus yeah i'm thinking there's like two or three um frat houses that we regularly went to my rule of thumb with that though is believe the rumors that people spread about the frats like if they're like yeah this frat drugs women be like

okay yeah they drug women i'm not going there like there's other frats that are gonna be more fun and more safe um if it's a house party make sure like at least one person in your group knows whose house party it is um but yeah have fun get a little feral be crazy that's what being in college is all about making slightly risky informed decisions but having fun nonetheless someone said they're wanting a dull life i am so sick of drama and it just sucks the life out of me illy no real when you're younger you don't have as much control of your life so you kind of find instead of the chaos outside of your life and like running around doing crazy things more so inwards and like drama is what is chaos centered and that's what kind of

gives you excitement so it's fun in like high school and then you grow up and then there's like chaos in your actual life and drama is just too much at point it's like the cherry on top of all the chaos going on that just sends the mountain of a sunday toppling over like it's not fun no one likes drama when they grow up no one likes a drama queen no one likes somebody who is constantly in drama that's not fun to be around it's not fun to have in your life so a dull life dare i say is a peaceful life and I do understand kind of growing up and out of that sort of mindset and being like I am over it I don't care about drama I don't want it in my life I'm focusing on my peace and if you're feeling that way lean into it fully lean into it if you feel like there's one

or two people in your life who are constantly causing drama or like bringing drama to you you really can enact like boundaries like hey love you to death girly but i cannot talk about your ex-boyfriend for the millionth time in the past three years like it's been three years get over it we gotta move on i don't care about the drama sometimes don't say it that mean but sometimes you gotta be like hey that's too much for me i don't really want to chat about that right now love ya and if they're a good friend they'll hear that and be like oh okay yeah no worries let's move on I think that's a totally valid thing for you and like a rule for you to enact in your own life if you're trying to focus on peace and if you feel like there's people in

your life we talked about cutting people off um last episode and I said that I think a lot of people use therapy talk as a way to kind of be the victim in their own life and like you don't have to cut people off for the smallest randomest things like you can let people forgive and heal and that's a healthy part of a relationship you don't have to just go around cutting everybody off but if you feel like this is probably a time where if you're trying to protect your peace and you feel like there's one person in your life that is constantly causing chaos has been a problem for years you don't know if you feel comfortable around them or safe or want to bring them into this new life of yours that is filled with peace then yeah you know you can enact some boundaries

there be like hey i don't think spending time with you is healthy for me i think that's totally valid and totally okay i've had to do that a few times especially after growing up and learning like I am not a drama queen I would like to be drama free actually um and I don't think being around you is healthy for me then it's okay to distance yourself a little bit and really focus on maybe just spending time with yourself and what kind of peace that brings but real feeling valid lean into it I love living a dull life someone asked being lonely while solo traveling I love having just that one friend that you can always FaceTime no matter where you are in the country and like you don't have to have five of these people you don't have to have 20 of these people like

simply one friend that when you're lonely they might pick up and you'll be able to chit chat with them maybe it's your mom maybe it's your dad maybe it's your like childhood best friend maybe it's your friend that you met a month ago either way like even though you're solo traveling and you're meeting people around you you can still reach out to the people that you know are still waiting back home for you i i think they would love that and i think you would love that as well when my friend was solo traveling um in rome i would get a call from her like every weekend when she was like drunk walking home she needed she needed someone to walk her home and honestly those were like the best calls because i was stuck in college um and i wasn't able to escape or

be in rome so being able to chat with her and like just be on a little facetime call with her was always something that i could look forward to and something that i loved so don't be afraid to just like reach out to familiar people um give them a little call send them a little text um they have a special way of bringing home directly to you you know girl how do i get a job do i just waltzed in with my resume or what the fuck so i am so good at job interviews because i don't look at him as i'm desperate for a job so i'm gonna i have to do or say the right things in order for this person to hire me no no no i'm going in and i am presenting of course the best version of myself my resume my um you know a cover letter um knowledge about the company and what I can bring

to it I'm gonna look put together whatever it may be I'm gonna send an email thanking them for meeting with me like best foot forward but also I am inquiring about the company or the person that I'm working for as well this is much as as much as they're interviewing me I'm interviewing them to see if it's going to be a good fit are they going to pay me enough am I going to get good enough benefits does this sound like a place I'm going to work for and I'm going to enjoy are there any red flags that are popping up that I need to see when you're in a place of like desperation you are willing to really take on anything and like I get that when it comes to job sometimes you really just got to take anything you can but if you have some room to kind of

finesse or look around do so um ask them questions let them know more about yourself put your best foot forward always send like a follow-up email thanking them for you know giving you time and um information about what this opportunity could provide like put yourself out there it's okay you're not annoying um that is what they want to see from a person that they're hiring that they are a go-getter that they are interested in inquiring and inquisitive about what's going on that they want the best for themselves and the company and they have some sort of general knowledge about what's going on that's really all you got to do but remember don't approach from a place of lack of i need this i need them to hiring i feel i had to hire

me i feel like that energy um is kind of it'll like mold you into things that you're not when being truly who you are and truly showing up with what you have to offer is what they want to see they don't want to see another robot they want to see you and if they don't then maybe that's not a place you want to work for but yeah I don't know I feel like job interviews are just like meeting a new person that's how you got to look at it just a new conversation about what you know what you're excited for what you can bring to the table be nice be kind put your best foot forward someone said I've never successfully been able to insert a tampon and I really need to do so on an upcoming trip help i remember the first time i ever had to put in a tampon um was a couple

years after i started my period um because most of the time i just wore pads like if i was on my period i'm gonna wear a pad which honestly is basically what i do now slash free free bleed so i had it right the first time but i was on like a youth group trip i don't even know and we were going kayaking oh we were going tubing for the day like you know midwestern things you're gonna get put on a tube and sent down the river like six miles and you're just gonna a float trip basically um and i had started my period and i remember what like um what truly being a girl is about me and three other like youth group girls i was like hey i know this is weird but i've never put a tampon in and like the avengers we assembled and i was like sitting in the big stall and they

were all standing outside the big stall and they were like verbally trying to give me instructions on how to put this tampon in and i thought i got it in i didn't put it all the way in me so it was like half like the cotton like half the cotton was hanging out with the string like not just the string like half the cotton i was like this feels really weird and uncomfortable also maybe this is just what tampons are like so i'm riding in the bus i'm like this is really weird i don't feel like this is right we get to the river i am like i can't get in the water with this in and get like i don't know like it just didn't feel right so finally i got in the water i took it out while i was underwater tied the tampon to a rock so the tampon wouldn't just like float

down the river and someone would find a floating tampon and just dropped it and then i just free led i guess that whole entire trip i don't know how i got away with the bus ride home afterwards maybe i asked someone for for a pad but tip number one is the whole applicator basically has to go inside you and then you push the you push the handle to push it inside of you that's the best way to get it inside also if you need a little lube go for it girl sometimes that's necessary also there's tampons that are smaller than other tampons like get the light tampons and then also is it kotex the black box those i feel like are pretty small and compact and easier to get in and also don't be afraid to ask for help ever all right love you emotionally unavailable men

and how to avoid them please okay there's like two things you can do one ask what are we and if he says i'm not ready for a relationship or i don't know or i'm not sure how i feel about you or i don't love you yet or simply can't have a conversation about what he's looking for in a relationship he's oh he's emotionally unavailable and i think you should run away number two if he's only texting you at night you don't have day plans you don't have like plans for the future you only see each other on the weekends he's not texting you during the day he's not saying hey good morning how are you he's not asking how your day went he's probably emotionally unavailable unavailable and looking for a non-committed not emotional relationship um another tip

ask him how he's feeling ask him about his emotions if he can't deep dive into those simply like how he's feeling he's just good then yeah he's probably also emotionally available in a unhealthy way but those are my top three tips what's a hot girl drink for people who can't handle caffeine a green tea green tea i love a green tea hot cold lemon sugar my favorite green tea recipe is a big fat mason jar with so much ice in it with green tea and some lychee syrup which you can get online or in stores like i'm sure your local asian market will have some lychee syrup um and then fresh lemon and you mix it up so it's a little sweet it's a little citrusy it is so refreshing um you can also do like a matcha green tea it does have caffeine but it's way

lower than coffee would be um hot or cold fantastic way any sort of tea i feel like tea is such a hot girl drink like when someone orders tea i'm like oh okay bougie heard someone said i am so tired of girl bossing i feel that i'm over the girl boss era you know like i feel like last summer i'm sure i made a podcast with girl boss in the title because you know what i was in my girl boss era and i was out there and i was getting it and i was girl bossing to the gods okay but now i am just, I want to chill. I want to live my slow life, especially right now, especially with some like high stressors or odd change going on. I really like to just double down and focus on what is directly in front of me, you know, like appreciating my morning coffee and appreciating

a hot bath and appreciating you know my art pieces and appreciating the way my plants are growing like slow the fuck down step into my feminine energy step into accepting and bringing good into my life um before going and getting after it like i know i'll enter another girl boss era but for now i have stepped out of it i have taken the high heels off set them aside for now and yeah my days now are spent like laying in the grass in the sun reading books you know listening to music that made me happy as a teenager sleeping in really just taking account of what's going on in my life and do i want it here and should i tweak this thing and how can i how can i enjoy the present moment and it's been a really fun lesson if you need to slow down and

really enjoy the slow life and trust me no matter how fast your life is going you can you can slow it down and just appreciate the now and what you have um especially if you need to exit that like grind set girl boss energy oh it's so exhausting and after i get out of that kind of phase i really have to take like a long tlc period and i'm happy to be in mine right now especially with so much sunshine and warmth out because there's no better feeling than having like a good book laying on a picnic blanket on your day off in the sun for hours just like soaking up the sun's rays like a little like a little cat curled up in a bright ray of sunshine that is the energy that i am taking on right now definitely living my slow life and also like living my slow life is

really just me taking account of the life around me instead of like go after it go after it go after it's like wait but what do we have right here um and so i'm really taking into account like my routine and what I can implement to make my daily life better and make it a little easier make it a little bit more enjoyable a little bit more exciting um that's what slow life is really all about enjoying appreciating taking account for what you have and really just making the best of it you know taking like literally it's the life equivalent of like soaking your body in a hot bathtub with your favorite like essential oils and crystals around you i love it it's so great lean into it if you feel like you need it you probably do you probably need a break so chill

out treat yourself someone asked relationship advice going into college don't get into any serious relationships in the beginning of college do it towards the end have fun in the beginning you know really focus on yourself and making sure you're comfortable don't get involved with a man too early because you're having such a huge change in your life um and you need to be able to ride that change in the best way possible for yourself okay like you got to get comfortable in the experience of college and that probably won't come until after year two so chill have fun have some flings you know like have fun little men that you have on your roster sure that's what being young and in college is about but I don't think you guys are too young to be getting into

long-term relationships especially in the beginning of college I feel like when I was in a long-term relationship in my early college years it really just made college way more stressful because I mean college is stressful but it's pretty like you can pretty much work through it on your own but when college is stressful and then also your boyfriend is stressing you out like it's so hard to focus on school so focus on school don't get attached to any men stay out of long-term relationships until you are fully comfortable and settled into the new life you've created for yourself oh this is cute someone asked what are you looking forward to a year from now so last year this past year has really been focused on who i am in my everyday life and looking towards

where i want to be but really taking account of where i am now living my slow life you know finding joy in the small things around me because before that I was out in the world experiencing experiencing experiencing and I felt like I needed to just really center myself back at home and take account of my routine in my everyday life and find joy in that but now as I spent so much time here I mean a year from now I see myself being more places I see myself being out there I see myself putting myself out there more um enjoying life experiencing life traveling seeing the sights that's really what my next year is going to be focused on um i feel like i have a pretty stable home base so now i am comfortable and able to move throughout the world swiftly

and frequently and have my experiences with new people and new places and new things um that's kind of the vibe that i'm taking on for the next year and honestly that question especially after doing an emotional purge today which you absolutely should do before entering tomorrow the 16th the new moon and leo um is to really just get all that negative energy those anxieties out get them out release them scream if you need to burn things if you need to whatever it may be um so tomorrow you can really focus on your manifestations and what you want to bring into your into your life and into your future so the simple question of where do you see yourself a year from now or how do you see yourself from a year from now is a great tool especially to

journal or just simply meditate on think about ponder um to really enact and focus on what you want to take into your life um after the new moon and what you want to bring into it so practice homework for you for tonight okay i actually feel bad this girl cutie you know who you are i love you every single time i post a questionnaire she asks for my cheesy ramen recipe and she goes cheesy ramen recipe come on woman i've been begging and literally the only reason i haven't answered it is because it's really nothing special i'm telling you you get any flavor of ramen and you throw mozzarella cheese in there and you mix that bitch up that's my cheesy ramen recipe now if you really want to get crazy with it like if i'm like craving it craving it and i'm gonna make

something like yummy crazy fun funky fresh ramen what i do is i'm i get the is it called like the bulldog noodles. It's like black with the chicken on it. I love spicy though so that's just my personal preference. Get whatever you like. I get the really spicy like bean noodles and I make those up because they're like creamier. They're not as brothy. I do a ramen egg which is just a hard boiled egg you boil it for six minutes um it gives it the perfect texture i do one of those i'll do rice cakes as well um and i'll just boil those mix some gochujang up with some soy sauce maybe some fish sauce cook those up so it's almost like a duck bokeh and then i will put that all together and i'll put fresh and you got to get the block of mozzarella you got to slice it up

and you got to put that on top and then put the lid on it so it just perfectly melts you can't get the shredded cheese because shredded cheese doesn't melt the same it has like a a flour powder coating um on each individual piece of shredded cheese that's why your shredded cheese doesn't get stuck together but i feel like it doesn't melt right you have to get the blocks of cheese and just you can use a knife cut it up use a cheese grater whatever throw that bitch on top let it sit so it gets all melty go crazy if i want to put veggies in there i usually just get some bok choy and steam it with some sesame oil and throw that on top as well but i love you i hope you eat all the cheesy ramen i'm so sorry i haven't answered your question i was just like

i don't even know what to say like it's just it's just whatever ramen you like and and mozzarella easy peasy lemon squeezy someone said hope i'm not too late can you please give tips on how to prep before getting your ass ate shower shower and shave i you know like i i'm just gonna shave just to be nice you know like a smooth surface area for you to eat your dinner on um yeah that's really the only tips i can give shower shave be in a comfortable position whether it's like 69 or like just ass in the air make sure you're comfy don't eat before i don't know if anything's going around that area i'm like i'm not eating before that's just for safety precautions anyways someone asked how to learn to romanticize my life more

and um i think really it's just about enacting small practices in your everyday life having small things to look forward to for me personally it's like taking photos of the environment around me like the beautiful sunrise or sunset or the way a leaf looks or you know maybe that pile of trash looks really pretty or maybe it's a cute little selfie after getting ready for work or maybe it's a picture of my avocado jelly cat sitting on my bed because it looks really cute or a picture of my really cute cat curled up in a you know sun in a little pile of sunshine um or maybe it's like literally anything anything that you see that you are like wow like visually wow or like it brings you a warm feeling take a photo of it it's just like a quick little practice

you can enact in your everyday life another great way to do this if you're not like in the moment at that kind of moment especially with your phone kind of person just every night a gratitude list three things when you lay in bed as soon as your pet your your head hits that pillow three things you're grateful for um my breakfast burrito this morning was really fucking good i gotta share a laugh with a friend um i'm really comfy and warm in my bed right now and i feel safe boom three things you're grateful for but just like small practices like that like training your brain to be more aware um has a great effect of allowing yourself in the future to romanticize your situation a bit more because you've trained your brain to look for the good

um it's the same way where like whenever you see someone driving by um in the same car of like your ex you have like a mini panic attack it's because you've unconsciously trained your brain to look for those cars because there's something that's familiar to you you can do it in unhealthy ways such as that or you can do it in healthy ways as well which is just looking for the good in your everyday life um it's a practice a little gratitude you don't have to journal something crazy just think of three things every night that you're thankful for do affirmations maybe every week you know of what you're trying to bring into your life and then a more realistic worldly approach is i literally just take photos of things whenever i see them and i'm like wow

that's so cute or it's bringing me warmth it's bringing me light i take a photo of it um and there's nothing too small to take a photo of you know what i mean there's nothing too small to appreciate it in fact is the small things that mean the most someone asked this is a fun one to end it on to um do a what's in your bag at the moment like gum wrappers and all okay i got you currently my purse is this like little denim um purse that i got from urban outfitters just like a little handbag i needed something that i can throw around get dirty whatever and i won't really care like it'll kind of add to the aesthetic if anything um number one thing i have in here is a lighter of course it's also one of my gold lighters that i created the little lighter cases i always

have to carry one with me because like i made that i have to have it it's so cute the other thing i have is this small little purple pouch that holds my moonstone crystal that i got in colorado just reminds me of my travels reminds me to stay present stay a little dreamy um i also have these sunglasses that i got from urban outfitters they're like these small round 90s tortoise shell frames um i have this gold chain that has this smiling sun pendant on it i always carry some extra jewelry with me so i can take it off and put it on as i want but it has this cute little smiling sun it's like this thick curb chain i also have my lip liner in here i use for a very basic brown i use nude beige i feel like it's a little too light for me though so i need

to go get a darker one um but that's kind of my go-to like cocoa color i also have the laneige lip sleeping mask in here because i lost my vaseline you know i'm a vaseline girl but it is mia so i have to carry around this giant tub of the laneige sleep mask um and slather it on my lips it's so gross i'd like dig my finger in there i also have a big pair of gold hoops i have a random five dollar bill random a couple dollar bills i have um some dirt some cheese it crumbs uh that's really about it oh and this hand fan i have a little hand fan in here um but right now it is really just the bare basics hand fan for the heat jewelry some hair clips or some hair clips in here lip mask lip stuff whimsical fun that's about it money crystals what's more important

than that but with that being said i need to make some lunch i need to get my day going i love you all so much thank you for spending your day with me remember to be kind to yourself don't take everything so harsh right now um it really is never that deep and i guarantee in a week a month two months three months you will not remember um you know all the stress and anxiety you'll just remember the lessons you've learned and you'll be grateful for the new place that you're in There's so many amazing things coming your way, things that you never could have even possibly imagined. If you just open yourself up to them and be, you know, swept up by the change, ride the wave, catch the wave, don't let the wave catch you. It'll make things way easier, especially during this moment of change and growth and processing. let those emotions out feel them but feel free to let go of them as well so many great things are coming your way and I'm so excited to see where it takes us literally every time I get

to a point of change I'm always like it's kind of dreadful because you know it's hard to move forward sometimes but every single time I you know boss up and I take you know it's like you know when you're younger and you like were scared to go out of your room at night because you're like what if there's ghosts or what if aliens are here you know those like weird kind of childhood fears that you have when you're walking through your house at night um it's kind of the same way with change it's these fears that you've made up in your head that are not reality and really all you just got to get from is point a to point b and it will be safe but you have to let go of these fears and anxieties that you've created for yourself and open yourself up to

get to point b and to enjoy point b and to feel safe and loved and cared for at that place so let go free yourself have fun dare to dream i'll see you all so very soon