Smoke Sesh - adult bullies, adult acne & vaping addiction

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

hellooo everyone and welcome back, excited to sit down and chat with you all this week as we talk schedule changes, new vlogs, dermatology, adult acne, my acne journeys, Capricorn season energy, getting it done, 2016 trend, what I was up to in 2016, its getting scary out here, cultivating hope, not feeling small, crazy questions, feeling yourself, the power of a good photo, sending love to you guys, quitting vaping, vaping addiction, going cold turkey, immunity, flu season, how I stay healthy, vaccines, opposite of jealousy, attractive partner, making content, getting made fun of, adult bullies, shutting down a bully, standing up for yourself, struggling out there, leaving people behind, outgrowing people, accepting them for who they are, choosing your life, playing the game of life, making intuitive decisions, and much much much more!submit your questions follow the instagram at hannahmarlenejoin the patreon club at patreon.com/smokeseshshawtywatch the vlogs at YouTube.com/hannahmarlene444

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hello hello hotties of the world and welcome back to another beautiful little episode of smoke sesh you guys i am full of life and energy today not that i'm not usually full of life and energy but i actually got to sleep in this morning i'm back to my little usual go-to routine for the day um i don't know why winter decided to happen three months too late i feel like the winter

season has completely drastically changed um to now occurring mostly january february and march at least where i am in the midwest it gets abnormally cold i'm talking negative two degrees outside which means for me most importantly um i did not have horseback riding lessons this morning too goddamn cold those horses they're gonna be way too fresh a little aggressive a little like I don't want to fucking do this thus we let them be we also save our fingers and our toes and our nose from the cold so yeah I gotta sleep in this morning I am a little sad that I'm missing lessons when I get thrown out of my usual routine I kind of like panic a little bit like oh my god oh my god what am I gonna do but luckily because this was happening in the past

i have supplemented with some newer hobbies and activities so i can still be active and involved in my life and feeling like i'm just doing fucking something with my time so i overscheduled a few yoga lessons this week just to keep my mind and my body at ease so i don't go fucking crazy i don't know what it was i'm now that i'm like i don't know healed or whatever you me cringing not that I am completely but like now that I'm kind of like committed to healing in a way that I never have been mostly because my brain is pretty much fully developed and I feel like I can look at everything from a neutral unattached perspective in a very healthy way um I I used to think when I needed like rest and relaxation that meant cancel all plans do nothing for many weeks

oh you're tired don't go hang out with friends oh you're exhausted from work don't go to that yoga session you need you time you need to be alone in a quiet place like you're so exhausted you need all that alone time no babe no that's not how it works unfortunately that will lead you down the path of isolation and you will feel worse sitting on your phone an extra eight hours a day no matter how tired you are still finding those things that bring you joy and just like hobbies and activities that keep you on track and feeling balanced it's so important to go to those things of course with balance with time for yourself but you know supplementing with hobbies and having those things to look forward to really are so important to feeling like you're just a

balanced individual i'm kind of giving yoga teacher today in this little white brandy melville set downward dog in this top would definitely be interesting to say the least but I have a very chill week this week most of it is just getting work done prepping and planning because next week I will be in Oregon visiting family very excited for that excited to explore Portland a little bit I really do enjoy Portland a lot um I I enjoy just like the weirdness of it all the peace and happiness that millennials really do bring to their community in a very special way um i'm excited to get out into nature do some hiking go to the ocean um and hopefully i secured a horseback riding trip through the forest the greenery the forest it's basically like a rainforest out there

even in the winter like here in the winter everything's brown and dead oregon in the winter everything is bright green yes a little damp and wet but still it's so beautiful so i'm excited to get on there on horseback i feel like you can just see and experience more than what you could on foot i mean duh obviously so i'm very excited to see how that is my cousin recommended me a ranch so after i visit i will put you guys on do not worry i'm hoping to vlog the trip speaking of vlogs i did have a new youtube video up this week um we just sat down and chatted what the new moon experience was on sunday don't worry i feel like with new moons and full moons their energies kind of last multiple days they kind of carry over throughout the week before and the week after that

energy is residual and does stay an important part of our daily lives until the next moon phase So if you're curious, you know, themes and ideas and feelings that could be popping up or trying to understand them a little bit more, go give that a watch on YouTube at Hannah Marlene 444, just a new moon chat, little ASMR situation, and I do some tarot reading and share some spell work with you guys that you can do to celebrate. I'm hoping to actually make those videos a reoccurring segment on the Patreon. so if you're interested in ever seeing anything early exclusive content extra podcast every week you guys we did like a two and a half hour long episode last week i'm talking we i post so much

there we have such a fun time over there go join patreon.com smoke says shawty this week on youtube i believe i will be doing i'm gonna do like a smoke and paint with me episode um i have a painting i've been working on and i'm trying to get it finished before the end of the month so i'm gonna show you kind of my process how i kind of revise the painting because i did take it a direction that i'm not too happy with and i want to fix it up without completely getting rid of it or like you know freaking out and being like i'm just not gonna finish it like no bitch you started this game you gotta finish it and i feel like doing that together could be really fun so stay tuned for that that'll be up sunday but of course early for the patreon girlies and yeah that's

really all i have for our weekly notes i haven't really been up to too much like i said prepping planning doing all those fun things oh my god thank god i had a dermatologist appointment i haven't had a dermatologist appointment since i went on accutane in high school whoo accutane was a journey but unfortunately or fortunately i don't really know i was one of the girlies that needed it I you guys have been suffering from acne since I was I think I got my first pimple ever in second grade and I remember because it was before a second grade play we were having and I was so stressed about the play for no reason other than I'm anti-social and hate being on a stage believe it or not says the bitch with a microphone in her hand but like I remember

looking back at those photos and I was like oh my god I literally have a pimple on my chin second grade yeah i've been struggling with this shit for a while and like at some point it really is just like okay this is just normal and natural and then i you know got into high school and the middle school got a little bit more insecure about it and my mom's like okay fuck it let's go to dermatologist i tried everything i'm not even kidding for like four years until my senior year of high school, my dermatologist was like, all right, bitch, it's time to get serious. Let's get real. Let's put you on Accutane. And you know what? Although Accutane, I felt like I was in the Sahara desert. It literally felt like it was drying out my organs and my skin and my hair and my

nails. It dried out my skin so much that my lips started cracking and bleeding to the point where they got infected like there was nothing i could do it was like i have to eat i have to talk i have to do things with my lips obviously i'm keeping them moisturized they got infected it was so bad it's like senior year of high school i'm supposed to be doing like all these senior photos like all the senior fucking things or whatever that you're doing interacting with people with family and i'm like oh my god i look cracked and disheveled and i'm bleeding everywhere but after i stopped um my acne was gone my acne was gone no more acne it was a miracle drug now the funny thing about hormones is they'll spike in your teens they'll spike in your early 20s and then they

spike again in your mid to late 20s i am now in the mid to late 20s zone where they spiked in my early 20s i feel like it was manageable it's just like a couple you know acne spots here and there now in my mid to late 20s I'm like oh fuck I feel like I'm back in my high school era where I was getting two three four five cystic acne spots a day yes a day and no they're not poppable no they're not manageable like truly so painful and awful and it's like oh okay let's like get this shit under control so finally I made a dermatologist appointment and she put me on what I like to consider the miracle combo I really hope this works for me I'll probably up my dosage of medication eventually but great starter instead of just jumping straight into Accutane because girl

that is a commitment although it does fix everything thank god started on spironolactone love her down trick to spironolactone is taking it at night because some of the side effects are like very small but still kind of get in the way of living your everyday life she was so funny the way she described the side effects to me she was like yeah so just a heads up like you could see some like massive growth in your tits and like your hairline could get really thick like you might start growing a lot of hair and you might lose some weight and you might feel like you have more energy i'm like okay so what's the downside like you can't pitch a drug to me by being like you are going to be the hottest and sexiest that you've ever been in your entire life

the downsides usually are like you can feel lightheaded just because it is a diuretic you could go to the bathroom a lot things like that of course it affects everybody's body differently so she said to avoid you know the lightheadedness the diuretic aspect um take it at night so when it's interacting with your body you're asleep you're not really dealing with whole month with a lot and then during the day you're chilling you know what I mean so I've been doing that it's been fantastic love it down I've already noticed a slight change in my acne I don't think the percentage that I'm on right now is going to completely wipe it away but I think if I go up one more percentage I'll be good to go because I'm also using you guys I got prescribed the most

amazing miracle cream that there is on the planet earth which is tretinoin listen i am not a skincare expert but i do know what works for me because because because because my mom started tretinoin when she was about my age she started tretinoin and she used it every single day every single day up until now she still uses it and she has i'm not even kidding she looks so young she has like no wrinkles nothing she's had no work done just the tretinoin has made her skin turnover rate so good and it's made her skin so clear that i'm like well i know it works for you and i know it'll work for me because we are the same human being like bitch you birthed me out of course we're the same human being so please thank god my doctor prescribed me that i'm very excited to

start i will say talk about sahara desert tretinoin will do that um for me personally when it comes to like strong topicals i put a lot of distance in between my usage my doctor said every other night hell fucking no that's when i'm like all right doctor thank you for the prescription but i'm gonna take my own medical advice here not recommended but once again i know what's best for my skin and I'm starting on tretinoin it's the lowest dose you could possibly get I'll maybe do it once a week because the way it'll dry your skin out and have it cracked and crusty I'm not going through that I'm not going through the crazy purge I'm going to slowly work my way up and honestly I'll probably do it once a week for about four months just giving my time

my skin time to reset and really get on board with what I'm working with but I'm so excited I really hope it clears all up by summertime because bitch I am tired of having acne and listen my back knee girlies no I talked about my back knee and the girls came and they said we hear we see you we support you I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with it because uh it's just so annoying it's not even like the aesthetics of it all it's just like what the fuck I don't want to be in pain I don't want to wake up in pain like that's just annoying having something painful under your bra strap or like painful on the on your back or painful on your face like oh i i don't want to be inconvenienced i'd rather just take a pill every night and have it fixed so fingers

crossed that's what happens because my fucking god i am 26 years old i thought by this time my acne would be gone oh you know this is the journey god put me on or whatever i'm gonna do my best i'm gonna do my best but yes shout out to my doctor for that medication i'm very excited to start one thing down at dermatologist next thing dentist capricorn season i'm literally getting everything done that i possibly can before the energy wears off this time is so potent if you don't use it to schedule all 80 of those doctor's appointments and go to it you are making a drastic mistake next one is the dentist i i hate the dentist i take care of my teeth i go regularly but i know i have some cavities i need to get filled and that shit oh there's nothing worse

there is nothing worse but i'm gonna be a brave girl and i'm gonna go and i'm gonna get that shit handled because i don't want my teeth falling out of my face and if there's anything you're gonna do in this life it's make sure you're taking care of your teeth please for the love of god take care of your teeth do not get them ripped out of your skull and replaced you want to make sure those bones are healthy for your entire life i'm begging you and i'm mostly saying this out myself so once again all the doctor's appointments are getting scheduled they're getting done period frontal lobe development things you know speaking of high school that 2016 trend was going around 2026 as the new 2016 listen i love a reminiscent era i love

a nostalgia factor like half my tattoos are based on nostalgia I love indulging in nostalgia I love looking back and being like wow fun cute cool throwback I did post one photo of me on Instagram my I did participate in the 2016 trend it was me in New York that's like my only memory from 2016 because to be honest I was very unwell in 2016 you guys know the story you guys know where I was at that point in time not great psych ward pretty much um so it's so funny seeing everybody's like here's 50 photos from 2016 and it's like I have one singular memory and one photo to account for that year honestly and I am not re-downloading snapchat to even think about going through what I was doing because it was party party party drugs alcohol and by drugs I mean weed and alcohol

where's the addy on snapchat pulling up to different places psych ward back out more partying and then i went to new york for my 16th birthday shout out to my parents for that trip but yeah very unwell i think people forget what 2016 was 2016 it was like we people have so many photos of joy and whimsy from their life because that year was such a scary year and such a bad year that it was like we just we have no choice but to indulge in the whimsy and joy in life like there is no hope and thus we must create it that's what 2016 was giving what was it was like donald trump scary spooky how dare i say his name out loud literally i feel like i'm yelling bloody mary in the mirror three times uh what he was elected that year it was like the justice for

harambe year it was like the it was like it was just it was dumb and stupid and i think it was the first era where i noticed um the trend of like the incels rising up oh my god spooky scary and of course there's going to be themes of that in this year and maybe a much much scarier way hopefully we have learned our lessons dot dot dot from 2016 i mean 10 fucking years you would hope so but i think it's a good reminder that no matter how bad the year is indulging in joy and whimsy and trying to bring a little bit of light to each other's lives really is the best way to survive because you guys things are scary out here a lot of listeners from this podcast are not based in america um which like hey we're international girls welcome happy to have you but like i was

getting some comments that were like is it as scary in america as it seems from outside yes yeah yeah it is absolutely it's a very unnerving time right now it is a very scary time right now it's a time where we're all kind of like looking at each other and going what the fuck is happening um very reminiscent of early germany pre-world war what was it fucking two yeah it's not good it's scary if you're out here and you know you're like i'm scared i'm nervous i'm feeling overwhelmed by what's happening in the world like i those are real and raw emotions those are that's what you should be feeling right now it's the people who are sitting here like completely blind and just completely like chill with what's going on now that's scary because hello do you not see

people getting ripped out of their homes or taken off the street like it is terrifying it's very scary of course most of you guys come to this podcast for light fun you know trying to you know bring the light into your life no matter how scary it can be but also it's like you can't turn a blind eye to what's happening and not talk about it like what what the fuck hello do you have no compassion or kindness or even sense of community in your heart like what what i feel very lucky that i don't really have anybody in my life who is like that i made very clear to cut those people out very quickly i am not afraid to let people know my stances so if they are not about it they can quickly get the fuck away from me um and i think that's kind of what we can do right now is of

course be loud be voice just show up for our neighbors um provide community care keep an eye out for art for each other you know no matter who they are the best thing you can really do when you feel like you have no hope is to cultivate hope wherever you go a lot of that can simply be done by investing in your community and showing up for your neighbors if you feel like you know you are out of control because a lot of the times i talk about this a lot but a lot of the times with like the news feeling so big and heavy and making us feel so small we feel like we can't do anything about it other than receive the information and hope for the best but no there is always something you can do with that feeling of i don't know what like i don't know what to do i don't know how to

engage or interact and that is building hope within yourself and the people around you the best way to do that is to give back to your community show up for your community show up for your neighbors this can look like anything this can look like taking a garbage bag and going down your street and picking up trash this could look like you know showing up to community meetings and being there for people who might need legal representation or simply an eyewitness to help them out sharing community aids sharing community phone numbers things like that do your part so you don't feel so hopeless and out of control showing up to food banks donating there giving your time there's so many different ways to involve yourself in community and i highly recommend now especially

doing so like i said it'll quickly weed out the people in your life who will not be there for you because they can't be there for a stranger and also it'll help you just build that hope within yourself and make you feel like you're not so small and maybe you know we all can work together to do something important you know and worthwhile because divided we fall together we stand for real so show up for each other be there for each other no matter who they are oh it's spooky it's scary i've been rereading the hunger games that was my book club book of the month is i'm trying to reread all three of the first hunger games books this month and i'm getting through them pretty quick but also it's like the parallels are very scary very spooky and if there's one

lesson that i can take from those books it is that hope is the only thing stronger than fear period but please know now more than ever i'm sending you guys all the love you know i really am here for you all if you ever need anything please do not hesitate to reach out and yes i really do hope that together we can kind of find that hope within each other build it up within each other and most importantly bring some light to the darkness no matter where we go so cheers to that enough of me rambling though i want to get into some of your guys's questions before our time is up so glad we brought back collins we as in me like girls you just stop being lazy of course they're back anyways anyways thank you for submitting them happy to hear your guys's voice

um i love being a little bit more interpersonal in that way if you have a question you don't know where to submit it submit it to my Instagram I will say Instagram has been fucking weird lately I mean no no hate or maybe maybe full hate I don't really know anyways if you want to submit a voice message it should let you but if it doesn't DM me and be like hey I want to submit a voice message and then I can like accept you I don't know it's weird how it kind of differentiates between some people's DMs so literally just let me know and I will help you out there but yes if you want to submit a voice message dm me on instagram your voice message i'll hear it there and any question you have honestly that's where you can find me at hannah

marlene but let's see what the girls are up to let's see what they have on their minds oh my god i forgot last week i asked you guys for your craziest questions ever like let's get a little bit wild speaking of we need to do a confessionals episode soon so let me know down below a if you like the collins and b if you want to do confessionals soon because we're going into a new year and maybe you guys need a fresh start i don't know but some of you guys questions caught me off guard it was early this morning i was sipping my coffee i was like ah let's open these questionnaires and see what the girls have on their minds is it about love is it about life is it about passion first question how do you suck dick from the back

you guys you guys keep me on my fucking toes and to be fair i'm i'm the reason that question was asked no i'm not gonna tell you how to do that listen listen i'm happy to tell you if things exist duh but like some things are meant to be discovered on your own some things are meant to be like the seed is planted and now you must go forth and figure it out on your own i'm not gonna tell you how to do that it's i feel like it's just it's in it's implied let's be honest it's implied there but hey if that's something you're interested in you go ahead girl i'm not gonna shame you that's for fucking sure there's many different ways you can suck dick but like some of those need to be forged and discovered on your own in your own time and hey as you should babe okay

let your freak flag fly someone said doing a professional nude shoot today because I need a boost of confidence and you know what proud of you I I had a roommate um who does boudoir photography she was like the first person I ever moved in with and she just owned a house and then rented the rooms out to like 15 different girls honestly it felt like a hostile situation but happy that it was all women vibes were good until mice started entering the building and i was like i gotta fucking go anyways anyways she was a boudoir and is a boudoir photographer and honestly the confidence and inspiration i see from her photos is so fun to see like i love the energy she brings and i love the confidence and like the sets she designs for different women to just bring

inspiration and love and lust into their life and you know what it has me thinking like hmm maybe I'll do that I don't know I haven't done a photo shoot in a while honestly if there's any photographers in Kansas City that want to work together let me know but there's not there's no better confidence booster in my opinion and this can feel very surface level so like don't come for me i'm literally just a girl i am not a guru i am a girl is a good hot sexy photo a good hot sexy photo will make you feel unstoppable truly and honestly after new year's eve i was like okay my only goal new year's eve was is a to go out and dance and be like i want a hot sexy photo i haven't had a hot sexy photo in a while i want a hot sexy photo so i put myself together i put on a

tight ass red dress a massive push-up bra and did my best and honestly I think about those photos every single day I took them and I looked at them and I was like I forgot I could do that I forgot who the fuck I was all it took was me well a dressing in a way that made me feel confident and be you know getting a good photo out of it it feels so surface level but there is nothing better it i'm literally like do i make that my lock screen on my phone yes my own photo of myself but that's how much of a boost it gives you that's how much of a confidence boost it gives you so i love that you're doing a photo shoot how fun naked photo shoot a little crazy but hey don't knock it till you try it you know maybe a close-up photo of those lips will have you

feeling better than you ever have in your entire life and can you blame a girl even on instagram like i understand i am no better than a man i understand why men get so fucking trapped up on instagram when they see a hot sexy photo of a girl because like truly same same and as you should you should post those photos like i want to admire you i'm impressed please for the love of god but like i am no better than a man in that aspect and i'm like god damn period i love it i love when women are feeling themselves and when we get a photograph of it it's just like yes timeless inspirational amazing wonderful beautiful and honestly most of the photos I take are just with a tripod sometimes I'll just be at home and I'm

like I need a confidence boost I'm putting on a pair of heels and I'm taking a photo I'm taking a hot sexy selfie of myself and it really will do wonders it'll be like oh fuck I forgot I can do that forgot I can be that fucking hot sometimes especially in the winter when I'm living in sweatpants 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It's like, okay, girl, put a dress on, take a photo. You will feel unstoppable. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

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Currently sending this before I go into hot Pilates, but I just wanted to say I love you so much. I commented on a post of yours recently saying that you got me through 2025, 2024, 2023, and 2022. And that was me. um i was a senior in high school when i started listening to your podcast and now i'm a senior in college graduating this semester and you literally have gotten me through week after week and i just want to say thank you and i know that doing this podcast is not easy work but it fucking it is so helpful it pays off is all i have to say i love you i hope your year goes so well i did 13 wishes ritual because of you and i'm so excited to see how that pays off um yeah have a

great day love you oh my god you guys are so sweet i do need to let you know that this podcast is easy because you guys make it easy on me trust in that okay i am very lucky to have women in my life who are just as fucking crazy as me thank god but it is kind of crazy to sit back and think about how i've been doing this podcast since pretty much yeah 2021 2022 whenever i started i don't know time fucking flies and thank god I am where I am now oh my god I have I know I have much more of a journey to go on and I'm excited to put those lessons and things I talk about on this podcast here into work in real life because it's time to get up and put some work into our lives but yeah it's nice to just have people to go on this journey with truly honestly I feel way less alone

doing this with you guys every single week I know how isolating life can get especially right now when things are like crazy and no one knows what's going on and you know maybe you're going through financial troubles maybe you go through job troubles maybe you're going through life troubles relationship troubles friendship troubles troubles in your brain whatever it is at least we have this place to come together and have a little laugh and enjoy our time together so yeah please trust I have such an easy time sitting down and hanging out with you guys every single week and it is such an honor so thank you should i quit vaping uh yeah you absolutely should speaking of acne my acne was the worst it had ever been when i was vaping um i talked about i've talked

about vaping in the past i i don't think i've talked about it recently but i started vaping when i was like what 16 17 as soon as those jewel starter packs came out which were 79 99 yes i'm not even kidding for four pods and one little jewel stick the fucking battery or whatever $79.99 what the actual fuck anyways of course I bought one duh hello I started vaping $17 and I don't think I stopped until like $21 $20.21 and then I switched to cigarettes which arguably was better for me than smoking a vape because i couldn't just hit it anywhere i wasn't sitting in my bedroom ripping cigarettes but i was doing that with a vape oh my god when i was vaping my acne was worse than it ever possibly been like you could see from the outside how

deteriorated my insides were yes your skin is an organ and if your organs are failing inside your body the organ on the outside of the body is going to make that known abso-fucking-lutely me doing the worst things ever for myself like not drinking water eating and only drinking alcohol mixed with molly and ripping my fucking vape and i'm like why does my skin look so bad babe please please and yeah i eventually just stopped smoking vapes because i had once again party girl era i'd thrown up for my vape so many times I just get so drunk and then I'd be ripping my vape and it would give you give me the spins that nicotine high plus being like eight vodka crayons deep would give me the spins and I'd throw up and I threw up on so many different flavors that eventually I was

like I just can't do it anymore and then I switched to cigarettes and then the vibe of cigarettes kind of died because I was like I can't rip it in my room and like I don't really go want to go outside and smoke a fucking cigarette so i eventually just stopped like i naturally weaned myself off of it in a very very bad unhealthy way but it worked nonetheless and then i just i discovered that there's a medication out there that does that with alcohol where if you drink alcohol it will like make you get sick so then you kind of like pavlov dogs yourself where it's like oh alcohol equals vomit which usually it does but like even just like the smell or the taste of it immediately makes you super sick i don't know what it's called it's only for like extreme extreme

situations but i basically did that to myself with vapes and then stopped but i have never felt better i've never had you know clearer skin of course it's not the clearest it's ever been but it's not like dying and falling off my body anymore um i feel like my mind is clear i don't feel like um i have to have something every single day in order to feel functional if i can give you any psa out there it's quit the vape quit the vape it is not worth it it's not worth what it's doing to your lungs it's not worth what it's doing to the your brain okay it's not worth what it's doing to your skin i need your lungs healthy i need your internal organs healthy and this is a new revelation to me like when i was younger i'd be like i don't give a fuck about my organs but

now that once again my frontal lobe has developed I'm like wait I do need my lungs wait a minute wait wait wait I do I can't be smoking computer parts anymore like I do need to smoke like if I am things that aren't like the absolute worst for me you know I can't just be smoking street carts anymore I can't just be taking any sort of weed anymore I can't be smoking 18 fucking times the day I can't be ripping the jewel like I gotta chill I gotta chill and I'm glad I naturally wean myself off of it but if I can give you any sort of advice it's quit the jewel because the way I looked and function and act when I was heavily addicted to the vape versus now whoa whoa drastic complete drastic difference and I wish I could give you like an actual routine to quit it other

than just like going cold turkey but I think cold turkey is the best way to go when it comes to the vape I am very much so a cold turkey advocate I think you could go vape to then cigarette to then nothing which is kind of what I did you know because the cigarettes are less accessible arguably a cigarette might be worse for you but the amount of times you hit the jewel compared to that of a cigarette you know I feel like the cigarette in turn is probably a little bit better but I have a friend right now who's going cold turkey and although she is in the depths of hell at this point in time it's like you push through a month and then you go through two months you will forget about it absolutely first month or first week you're gonna be pretty pretty

emotional you know you you don't have your pacifier anymore you're probably gonna cry here and there you're gonna be pretty irritated second week same sort of symptoms at least from what I'm seeing from her except if you really just stay busy it'll be a little bit less third week a little bit less fourth week a little bit less eventually you'll completely forget about it completely forget about it so give yourself time if I could recommend anything it's going cold turkey don't do what I did which is just ripping it after drinking and then throwing up so many times that you physically can't smoke it anymore not good for you happy it worked out that way for me because now I just physically can't even be around vape smoke without like gagging I know drama wow but

like please I know I'm gonna be your older sister annoying actually your annoying mom right here who's like the vape is bad for you like it really is and we can tell I can tell the lines next to your mouth and your eyes and the way your skin is sagging off your face and rotting off your body it's like i can tell because your internal organs are also doing the same thing and no hey i've been there trust like truly i'm not i'm not one to judge but there will be a drastic difference if you stop and it will be a positive one a massively positive one what are you what are things you do for immunity i feel like i'm always getting sick if it's cold wear socks my mom would always yell let me you ever wake up in the morning and you're like going downstairs and you're on the hardwood

floor and your mom's like put a pair of fucking socks on I used to be like what the fuck is she talking about like oh my god it's 7 30 in the morning I gotta go to school like stop yelling and being about fucking socks you'll get older and you will realize oh shit the things my mom just constantly yelled at me for were like real and valid if it's cold out put some fucking socks on your feet I don't know what it is I don't know I woo woo spiritual shit I don't know if the fucking illness comes in through your toes or something but I have noticed if I keep my feet warm I regulate my internal body temperature and I feel like my body just has a better way of just like moving and grooving throughout the winter time so if you can stay warm keep your phalanges

warm the better off you are okay now also when i am interacting with the public a lot like there's a high probability of me being sick or just like getting sick in general and to be fair i will say probably um every fall and winter i usually get like one sickness at the beginning of fall one sickness at the beginning of winter but this year i got my flu shot and i'll tell you what everybody is getting knocked out left and right and center something about this flu shot this year immunity immunity booster okay i got a little bit of a cold at the beginning of fall and that's really it so far not to jinx myself please for the love of god but this winter all i've been doing is staying really up on my vitamin c okay whether it's in the form of the emergency packets

if I'm going into a shift where I'm going to be interacting with a thousand people in a night I will chug a vitamin c emergency before I interact with people if I feel an inkling of like a runny nose or a cough or a sore throat I will immediately get up on my vitamin c pills vitamin c should not be taken daily it is not a daily supplement because it's just too much it's really going to hurt your liver but every once in a while for a quick immunity boost it is fantastic staying hydrated preferably with warm water because you'll be more inclined to drink warm water in the cold it's just easier on your organs in general fantastic staying fed making sure you're eating enough food so your immune system is working correctly amazing but i feel

like if i stay up on all those things i'm usually pretty good during the winter washing your hands as well if I touch a doorknob do not then touch food and put it in your mouth like you need to be aware of what's going on and other people around you and try and stay just as protected as possible of course sometimes you're interacting with a stranger and they sneeze in your face you can't do anything about that you might get sick it is what it is there's sometimes things out of your control and when you do get sick the best thing you can do is rest and relax and give in fully to just committing to healing for a little bit like it sucks you're going to be out of routine but do the best you can during that time but if you do take precautions i find that i don't get sick

as often and to be fair i have a good immunity system i feel like i interact with public and children and people a lot where i'm just interacting with normal illnesses on a daily level um but if you don't have a good immune system it might be a little bit different for you for the average individual keeping your feet and hands warm keeping your body warm in general so it's regulated eating enough food and enough protein and fiber and you know balancing all of those nutrients and minerals out making sure you have all those things so your body can function properly if you are interacting with the public a quick dose of vitamin c or if you're getting a little bit of sick you're getting a tingle in your throat quick dose of vitamin c and consuming warm water

hot teas things like that you'll be good you will be pretty good and also girl the flu shot the flu shots there for a reason i didn't even realize it was free until i got it i was like oh shit took five minutes it's free at cvs let's fucking go because this one this year oh it's been fantastic okay and girl public transit if you're out and about and you're really afraid of someone coughing in your face put a mask on put a mask on oh my god the anti-mask propaganda it's like you don't want to get other people sick and you don't want to get sick girl put a mask on who cares like just make sure you're protected and the people around you are protected please for the love of god there's nothing that pisses me off more than being out in public or like

oh i'm getting on a plane and someone's like next to me and it's like bitch why the fuck you're not wearing a mask like oh my god you literally don't give a fuck about anybody else in the close proximity around you which is like embarrassing and yes i'm gonna ask to sit anywhere else like what oh hi hannah i just wanted to say i love you and you love your podcast and i love the little community that's been built i love it anyway i was talking with my best friend recently and she was making fun of me a little bit so i wanted to come on and ask uh so i've been dating my boyfriend for about eight to nine ish months now and like i'm going to marry him like i actually love him so much he's genuinely my soulmate and he's so sweet and everything

and you know he's kind of made me come to realize something about myself that i've never really noticed in my other long-term relationships that i've had is like okay i don't know if this is relatable or not but like the idea of somebody else flirting with him is really like like kind of thrilling like the jealousy of it all and you've talked about like stuff like this on the pod before and i just wanted to know if this is like a relatable thing or if i'm just kind of crazy but like the idea of another girl flirting with him or like another guy flirting with him is like okay like yeah i dare you to try you know two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands

in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca this episode is brought to you by accenture when your advertising operations fall out of sync everything else follows spotify and accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales Using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify.

I don't know if that's relatable or if that says something about me or if that says something about how I see him. but i just want to see what your like ideas are around it because i just want to know if there's something like up with me or like i'm just kind of in it for the thrill i don't know i don't know but um yeah let me know love you this is cracking me the fuck up i thought we were in cuck territory for a while i was like for a second i was like do you want a chair in the corner and like no shame to that everybody's into something for sure but this feels very like secure this feels secure where you're like yes my partner is hot shit of course you want them but you can't have them it's kind of like um um like a flex of power like you want it but you

can't have it you know what i mean i think that's where you are i thought you were gonna be in cuck territory for a second which i mean hey maybe that is what you're into maybe you're just now exploring it whatever like you're realizing you might be more into it than you really thought you could ever possibly be if that's what you're into girl you know as long as you're having a good time who can really blame you but it sounds like you're just in a secure place where you're like no I know this is good I know it's healthy I'm not jealous because it's like like you said bitch good luck but also it's kind of like yes I have it and you can't have it it's like having that toy on the playground and it's like everybody wants it and you're like no it's my turn i know

you want it but you're gonna have to sit there and watch me play with that it's kind of like bratty but in like a cute sexy way please don't get into cuck territory i don't need you to be there like you deserve a healthy relationship but like oh i thought we were getting into somewhere a little scary there for a second you're normal you're fine girl don't stress it but yeah don't be sitting in that chair in the corner but yeah you can you can have a little yes it's mine and it's not yours moment that's cute it's cute it's fun it's flirty okay hi dealing with slight hate and jealousy oh for my older boss and co-worker because i have a youtube channel even if it's creative and fashion related how did you deal with pursuing your passion and being visible online and

dealing with pushback that comes from your immediate environment i really love what i do and feel so supported online but attacked in real life and made to feel like i'm a bad person huh to uh for pursuing youtube and being visible online thank you uh been listening to the pause since 2023 oh my goodness well first of all from your instagram account you're a baddie and i need you to keep doing what you're doing obviously you're doing the right thing because i mean are you kidding me fashion on 10 looks on 10 personality on 10 like i love what you're doing obviously you're doing something right if somebody around you is pissed off about it that's kind of how I feel I don't know you're not like um doing anything other than being yourself

and if somebody has a problem with that it's because they have a problem with themselves I don't know I when I entered the um social media space and began creating online it wasn't in a in a very like artsy way I wasn't like engaging in the online world and artsy way it was more so about like outreach like I was just lonely and I wanted people to chit chat with and talk with so it came from a very neutral sense where it was like if anybody judges me for that it's kind of like who cares because what does it have to do with you so I think I've been very privileged in the way that I've viewed my social media content up until now where I really haven't put too much pressure on myself and also I feel very lucky because people around me haven't put much

pressure on me either um the people who i keep in my circle really do um not give a fuck what i do online they really don't my friends they don't listen to this okay my parents they don't listen to this my brother my sister-in-law they don't listen to this they don't watch my youtube videos nothing like that and if there's anybody who knows me who does i mean i appreciate it if it's coming from a good place but usually I have found that the people in my life like kind of on the outside circle or like not immediate circle who do like consume my content in an unhealthy way have like never reached out to me via text have never called me have never like actually been interested in who I am as a human being they're truly only interested in like the judgment aspect and comparison aspect

of it and a lot of that i know really just stems from self-hatred so if you find yourself doing anything where you are visible whether it's like being online and creating videos and doing fun things from your house or even if it's something as simple as wearing a fun outfit outside of your house you know it could be making yourself visible in any sort of way being loud being um you know laughing loud being yourself in that sort of way in a public space if anybody judges you for that it's because the internal world that they create from themselves is very judgmental um they do not hold space for love for themselves they don't hold space or love for anybody else around them and thus everything they do or anybody does around them is looked at as if it's happening

under a microscope and that's just like no way to live um so i do think if you're finding that happening within um your work space that's interesting because then it gets sticky because truly and honestly anything you do outside of your work environment is up to you and not something you should should be or can be judged on because it has absolutely nothing to do with the community or the company that you work for so i do feel like you're being targeted in a way that um is making you kind of rethink your feelings and thoughts and actions but I don't think you should be I think what you're doing is good and real and honest and I think you should be yourself and you should you know show up in the world however you want to I think that's amazing and wonderful

and beautiful um and if the people around you don't like what that looks like then they don't have to be around you you know if they keep consuming your content and getting mad like that's truly an honesty on them I know it can feel very um intimidating especially when somebody in a position of power thus like your boss or manager is maybe demeaning you or talking down on you about it but in any sort of case where you feel like you as a person are being judged or demeaned by anybody verbally anything in front of you you have to shut that shit down you do at that point it's just bullying and if you let it happen it will keep happening if you don't stand up for yourself you are going to find yourself encountering that kind of behavior and negative self-talk a lot

period point blank um ever since i was a young girl my dad taught me very quickly to not allow bullying to happen to me um he was very quick to give the opposite advice of what my mom would say which is oh you know just ignore them my dad be like you should physically fight them and you know what in second grade I remember this it was YMCA after care or whatever and there was this one guy who was probably like a year older than me who would always pick on me always pick on me always picking me and I came home one day from school and I told my dad he's like you should just punch him in the face and I was like okay I don't know if I have the confidence for that but I'm gonna pocket it I'm gonna pocket that advice dad thank you I'm like seven at the time yes let me assault

my fellow schoolmate anyways next day YMCA same thing we're on the playground whatever playing basketball or something and he's picking on me picking on me picking picking on me and I'm holding the basketball out in front of me and you know when you're a kid sometimes you're just like impulsive I remember having a flashback where it's like me holding the basketball and the kids in front of me like la la la and in my head I hear my dad's voice like you should just punch him in the face and something came over me where i took the basketball and i threw it at his face as hard as i possibly could and he like broke his nose and he started bleeding everywhere but guess what that motherfucker did not fuck with me again and actually we were pretty good friends after that

because it was like oh shit i have to respect her unfortunately in life you're gonna encounter those like schoolyard bullies even as an adult where it's like what the fuck is their problem and also like how do I handle this as an adult because obviously I can't punch them in the face like my dad said or throw a basketball at their face like I have to go about it in a very demure and mindful manner now that I'm an adult obviously but the same lesson still stands where if you find yourself in that position you do need to stand up for yourself and you do need to set the like the attitude straight in some people who maybe need that correction um and here's some great like one-liners you can hit them with if they ever come at you in a judgmental manner or

maybe saying sarcastic things about what you do or are demeaning in any sort of way towards like your creative passions quick one is what does that have to do with you so what's the problem what did you mean by that give them things that make them kind of re-say what they're saying out loud but with actual thought where they're like I said the first thing but now let me say it again and actually think about what I'm saying it's gonna get awkward it's gonna be weird they're gonna get a little but but they're gonna get a little flustered okay but those are emotions and things that that person can handle not something that you need to be dealing with especially when it has nothing to do with you even though they're making it feel like it has something to do with

you and everything to do with them honestly what do you mean by that hmm what does that have to do with you that's weird i love saying that's weird that's one of my favorites honestly i remember like my dad was like i think your uncle is watching your youtube videos and i was like that's weird and you should tell him that's weird because never once in my entire life has he ever texted or called me or even interacted with me so why is he stalking me online that's weird i love it that's weird give somebody a reason to really rethink what they're saying or what they're doing turn inwards that's the best way to handle it because truly and honestly at that point in time it really is just bullying and when they're a your boss or something once again you got to go about it in a

very demure mindful way you know not not throwing basketball in their face but the end of the day if you need to leave that job for whatever reason because you don't feel like safe in that in a way you feel like you're being targeted then sometimes that's just what you got to do I understand that's not an option for everybody especially in this economy oh my god hello but I do think at the very least you should stand up for yourself you'll feel more confident in yourself you'll feel more at peace in yourself you'll feel more secure in your ideas and your vision your artistic direction and once you start you really won't stop you will always stand up for yourself it just takes that one time where you're like why am i letting this happen stand up for yourself you got this i believe

in you because what you're doing is amazing and wonderful there's no reason you should feel any sort of way about what you're doing other than positive but yeah i do feel very thankful that in my life i'm if i am judged i don't know about it because it's not people i care about you know what i mean everybody else around me really doesn't give a fuck and that gives me so much creative freedom speaking about the economy not that y'all want to hear about it someone goes I'm so broke and need help saving money okay something I've been using I think I talked about this once again never sponsored and also never financial advice but I talked about this a couple episodes ago I've been using rocket money pretty much all month as a way to really cut

down on my spending and just being aware of my spending and it's been very very helpful to just like categorize things and be aware of my spending and be aware of like where do i impulse shop what do i impulse shop on like oh do i really need to spend that seven dollars how like setting a budget for food or for shopping or for activities just makes you more aware of your money the best thing to do ever ever ever ever with your money is be aware of it where is it going why do i have these habits when you're not aware when it's like like monkey covering eyes emoji i'm spending money willy-nilly okay i don't i don't know what's on my card i don't care what's on my card i'm just i'm swiping it okay that's not how you should be living be aware of your money be aware of it's

going where it's going and be aware of your habits it's the best thing you can do and that's the best like real solid genuine advice i can give you at this point in time especially when it's like a carton of eggs is like six dollars that's crazy that's crazy be aware of your money be aware of where it's going be aware of you where you can cut back or habits you can adjust that's like step number one but also like girl once again people outside of america looking in like is it really that bad yeah like things are fucking expensive right now and if you're struggling if you're struggling to find a job or save money or just like you're just scraping by to make rent like that is it's i'm gonna tell you right now it's not okay but it's okay because i think that's

just what everybody's going through right now so don't stress yourself out too much don't compare and contrast i think the average individual is kind of going through a what the fuck's going on right now moment and if you're feeling that way everybody else is so find peace in that hopefully things fix themselves out but the best thing we can do finance wise is be aware you i had this crazy realization last night you know like back in the day like i think about sometimes i talked to my grandma and i'm like what the fuck kind of era were you living in like what the fuck was going on it's so drastically different than right now but like if you really think about it finance wise you could be in a single income household where usually it was where it's like

just the man is making money and he would have enough money to not only keep his family afloat and put them through college and get all the kids a car and all that bullshit and mom could be a stay-at-home wife at much cost to her not usually great situation but theoretically he could make enough money to keep that whole family afloat and sometimes have a whole second family on the side and keep them afloat as well like if you really think about it like back in the fucking day they used to be having secret families and you could have a secret family off a single income household you could keep two families afloat off of one job isn't that crazy to think about oh my god my grandma kind of went through that and i was like how the fuck is that even possible it wouldn't

the only reason that could be possible nowadays if you're like a billionaire okay you can't do that off of the average income nowadays and honestly thank god but also it's like can we get a little bit more money because that is crazy single income you could support your entire family and another one what so yeah if you're struggling right now or you're like stressed the fuck out it's okay take some pressure off yourself because a lot of things are outside of your um control like what you can do sometimes things are truly outside of our control and the best thing to do with things outside of our control is not worry too much about them. Focus on what you can control and real things you can do in your daily life. That's what really matters. Someone asked help

how to know when a friendship has run its course. I think I've talked about this a lot before but I want to come at it with a different perspective especially kind of jumping off of what we talked about last week. If you didn't listen to last week we talked about just like leveling up in life what that looks like and how that feels. A lot of the times can feel very isolating or lonely especially when you're entering a new phase or era of your life or you're moving or you're going here you're going there new job whatever it is it feel very isolating because it's a lot of newness it's a lot of newness that can make us feel like kind of overwhelmed and although it's normally good and it should be good to enter a new era sometimes that new era can feel very lonely with

how challenging or how difficult it can be to get there so if you are also finding yourself in that phase where it's like okay growing up getting older leveling up but also who do I take with me into this next level and a lot of the times when we enter that next level we also drop off on a few people as we enter that next level and that's very normal and natural like the older you get the more you'll find yourself in a position where you will compare and contrast a little bit with the people in your life and ideally the people who you do have in your life should be pretty much on the same level as you if they're not on the same level same morals same aspects same ideals same hobbies same interests and as we develop those things as we adjust as we kind of

grow into new things, you will see people around you not growing, not changing, not indulging in new things. And you'll find yourself sometimes in this moment where you're like, why am I around this person? Why do I have this person in my life? Is it because I feel like we should? I feel a allegiance to them for some reason? Like, what is it? Sometimes it's not this big falling out that you have with friends sometimes it's just this quiet understanding and knowing of we are two different people now point blank period we're two different people we don't have anything in common other than our old drunk stories from college and at that point in time if you find yourself there and it's like awkward to hang out with them or you don't feel called to hang out

with them then I think it's okay to kind of leave people in the past it's okay to understand that some people in our lives are there for phases or they're for seasons and not everybody can be there for you forever you also can't be there for people forever um i had a hard time with this growing up because truly honestly a lot of my close friends are people that i've been friends with since i was born so i've only ever known undying allegiance to the people around me and i'm also very lucky that the people who i have kept around me for that long have grown and changed and developed and been patient with me and i've been patient with them it's been that quiet understanding of we will always grow up together no matter the age but not everybody has that

perception and if you need to leave people in the past that's okay i don't think you need to blow up your entire life or blow up the friendship or you know even tell them to their face hey i don't like you anymore i don't want to be around you i feel like that's just messy and unnecessarily rude i think sometimes that quiet understanding also comes just like the quiet distance as well and if they reach out you know you can be honest i think we're just going in different places i'm really busy right now you know i i'm just in a different place in life um i hope we can grow back together but for now i'm kind of just really focused on me but i do think naturally as we get older we realize people will come people will go the ones that stay are the ones

that fit and the ones that naturally kind of weed themselves out the distance gets longer it gets quiet in between you guys naturally leave for a reason because I think when you get to your mid 20s you also have this um you you encounter people that you've known in your early 20s and now that you're in your mid-20s you've probably changed a lot and you realize wow those people haven't changed at all they haven't grown at all i remember in college we used to party we used to have a great fucking time it was fantastic and they're still doing the same thing even though we should be moved on by then you can't control people's actions you can't control who they are you can't be like hey you need to stop drinking like we did in college i mean you can say those

things but ultimately people are going to make their own decisions they're on their own paths they will you know sometimes listen to you sometimes won't listen to you they will make bad decisions they'll make good decisions and there's nothing you could do about that you can only let them be who they are and make the choices that they make and the choice that you can make what you can control is do i want to be around them while they make these decisions that's really all you can do. I get a lot of questions that are... Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge

yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. register today at pmcfwalk.ca like hi hannah before i say anything i just want to say that i love the pod and you're so inspirational um your advice has helped me through so many aspects of my life since 2021 um since i've been listening and i definitely really need it right about now um so my best friend like my childhood best friend my literal sister like the most important person to me in my entire life um I'm in a little bit of a situation with her because she is seeing her ex again and she they broke up a little over a year ago and she has within that time has gone

back to him twice but it's been eight months since the last time she went back to him and each time he hasn't changed my friend is getting back with her ex and making the same bad decisions over and over and over again what do i do it's like in reality what you want to hear is this is what you're telling you for tell your friend and she completely drops him and forgets about him and moves on you know i wish life was that fucking easy and if i had a magic wand girl i would wave it over her head and make that happen but we will realize in life that the only thing we can control is ourselves and the decisions that the people make around you are the decisions that they want to make decisions that they have chosen to make and all you can really do is let them be themselves

and decide is this a person i want to have in my life or is maybe this some somebody that i need some distance from we can give that tough love to them we can be honest with them we can be real but we can only do this so many times before it's like basically beating a dead horse you know you can only do that as many times until you get fucking burnt out all you can let people do is make decisions for themselves and the only thing you can control is what you do with that do you want them in your life have you outgrown them do you need to move on do you need to focus on yourself a lot of this life is outside of your control and the sooner you realize what is in your control is what you decide to do with yourself moving forward the easier life gets

the more it becomes that kind of game the fun game it can be where you make your own decisions you pick where you go it's not always the easiest decision it's not always you know the best decision that you can make but at least you have that quiet understanding of you can make that choice within yourself can't make that choice with other people unfortunately people are going to do what they're going to do and a lot of these people are fucking crazy so sometimes you just got to let them be themselves and learn their own lessons but you can't always focus on yourself and the decisions you make sometimes you're going to leave people in the past you're going to level up and you're going to realize i've outgrown these people maybe they'll catch up maybe you'll

rekindle or whatever but usually and most times you know people will kind of stay where they are and the ones that do commit to growth will grow with you i think that's beautiful it's a quiet understanding and commitment to self that really does make the best friendships honestly and the ones that last lifelong i think about my friends who like one of my best friends our parents had our baby shower together like we grew up next to our neighbors our entire life another one I met in middle school and we're all all these friends I have we are complete opposites high school I was a weird crazy depressed you know artsy nerdy freak they were the preppy cheerleaders but it is that like commitment to each other commitment to self commitment to fun and quiet understanding that we

are on our own paths and our own growth and our own journeys that have kept us together you know they're never coming into my life and wanting to change things for me they'll always want better for me but we're all growing on our own and through that we're able to stick together not everybody will choose growth a lot of people in your life will choose the bad thing and you can always say something but are they gonna listen who knows what you can do is commit to yourself and hope that that inspires them enough to catch up to you but yeah I think a lot of that leveling up can be very isolating especially when you feel like people aren't able to keep up or you wish they were you wish they wanted more and those friends slowly drop off you'll make new friends

trust don't you don't ever worry about that like you will meet new people and make new friends if you put yourself out there but yeah you are in the end gonna probably leave a lot of people behind and who knows maybe in 10 years we'll finally catch up to you and you're you'll rekindle and it'll be beautiful and amazing and you'll have many stories to talk about but I think it's good to also be situationally aware and know when it is best to kind of just like let people do what they need to do and learn those lessons on their own and the best thing that you can do in that point in time is focus on yourself and your own growth someone asked should I be dating for marriage i don't know i mean what do you want in your life do you want to get married do you see

that for yourself i've been um listening to a lot of chelsea handler stand-up recently um i don't know sometimes i get these weird infatuations with artists artists in any sort of aspect like last summer it was eve babbitts and i read all of her books it was like no i'm infatuated by this artist in high school it was like gustav klimt like let me learn everything about him and i don't know in this season of my life i've become kind of obsessed with chelsea handler and just like um her her style and her storytelling i find it very interesting um and truly and honestly i think the way that she presents herself and honestly maybe the way she knows herself is ever since she was a child she's known what she wants and she knows what she needs and she's gone after it period

point blank she's always gone after it but she makes it very clear what she wants and she knows what she wants she doesn't second guess that intuition um and she does listen to her heart and a lot of that also has to do with just like um dating the way she dates is like i'm dating for fun you know she's not focused on marriage very like boss bitch attitude if you fit in you fit in if you don't you don't and i'm not stressing it out like she's very career oriented and if that's who you are like if you don't want marriage and that's all you're looking for is a good time then like who am i to sit here and tell you no you should be dating for marriage like whatever you want in this life is what you want in this life if you do want to date for marriage

if you do want to be that child wife if you want 18 fucking kids like who am i to tell you not to do that you know whatever you choose in this life as long as it's true to what you want and what you desire then go after it you know what i mean but i do think it's important to understand that there's so many different choices in this life the choices that are presented to us on paper you know societally you go to school you go to college you get a job you get married you have kids it's an option you know same way like going into corporate is an option versus like maybe being a entrepreneur there's different options in this life and sometimes it's good to think outside of the box sometimes it's good to think inside the box but whatever you feel intuitively called to i think

you will always get furthest in life if you follow that wholeheartedly um truly your intuition is telling you what your heart and head have already agreed upon so you don't have to spend time going oh but my head's saying this oh but my heart's saying this intuition is that middle place of just like quiet understanding and knowing of yourself of who you are of what you need and if you're gonna listen to anything don't let it be this white bitch with a microphone in her hand like listen to yourself last thing i'm gonna do is sit up here and be like yes you need to be dating for 18 fucking kids or no you should be running around and having 18 boyfriends whatever you decide to do in this life is important and real and raw and honest and whatever you want

for yourself is good i mean i hope it's good for yourself please want good for yourself your intuition is usually always the best option for yourself but there's many different ways you can live this life and the sooner you learn that there is no rules to the game the more fun you will have i thought i had a lot of call-ins so i would be doing more but i didn't please submit your call-ins if you have them like i love hearing from you guys but for the end of this podcast i'll kind of go on a little ramble hopefully it'll be a bit inspirational um i want to make it very clear to you guys that there are no rules girl this is the wild west there are no rules in your head you're like but what about this but what about that but what about this no if you look at this

on paper there are no rules if you look at your life on paper there's no rules around you sure societally things might look down upon you you know maybe uh people around you might judge you of course I want you to make good decisions I don't want you to be out there making horrible awful decisions and being like well there's no rules it's like okay well now you're just evil and no one likes you like no there are no rules you can live your life however you want when I was younger I think I was very depressed because I was only focused on the rules and the rules weren't fun okay I didn't really want to go to college or I guess I was interested it wasn't the best option i kind of hated high school i didn't really want to grow up to be a wife like

i was like this sucks like what's in front of me does not seem fun and since i was so focused on the rules i didn't really allow myself to think outside the box to play the game of life it took me a long time to learn how to do that but now that i'm here and i'm realizing oh wow there's so many different options you can choose in this life so many different ways to play the game so many different ways to look at the game and the more you decide to commit to your intuition to having fun and to setting yourself up for success the better that game will go but only you can make those decisions only you can make that change only you can make that choice in this life no one can sit up here and tell you what to do or to tell you what the best decision is or yes you should

be dating for marriage dating for 18 kids or no you shouldn't or this or that people love to give opinions and i hope to be that breath of fresh air that tells you there are no rules whatever you want and desire is important in its own right and whatever you want for yourself is what's supposed to be okay everybody's going to live their life many different ways okay and what's not for me trust i know what's not for me but if you don't listen to that intuition you will find yourself trapped in a decision that maybe wasn't the best for you and I don't want you to ever get there so please listen to my PSA whatever you decide to do in this life let it be true to your heart and your head let it be following an intuition and let it be good for you that's all

that matters but with that being said sorry this is a bit of a shorter episode I still have a lot to do today a lot to do to prep for the week I'll make sure you guys have a longer episode next week so when i go out of town you have some fun things to listen to you know what we'll do a confessionals episode next week we'll get a little bit crazy and fun um and yeah i have new youtube videos every single week hannah marlene 444 if you want to paint with me that'll be up this sunday if you want to watch it early it'll be on patreon patreon.com smoke shotty if i'm not able to get to your questions come join the patreon patreon you can submit up to like eight paragraphs of your question so come join like i'll read it all out we'll go through all the details we'll talk

about it for literally hours i think last episode like i said was two and a half hours so lots of extra content over there early content fun content it's just a good time patreon.com slash smoke says shawty and if you want to see more from me follow me on instagram at hannah marlene please submit more collins i love hearing from you guys i don't know i thought i had more but i don't know maybe they disappeared but i'd love to do more in the future and if you like them let me know down below if you don't let me know down below let me know what you talk about and let's get weird and wild and freaky next week like why the fuck not with that being said though i hope you stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon

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