Smoke Sesh - astrology chaos, new eras & getting creative

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

hello hotties of the world and welcome back to another episode of smoke sesh, so excited to be back with you all to blow off some steam, have a little laugh & smoke together as well. anyone else have a hectic weekend guided by the full moon? we talk full moon chaos, astrology updates, lessons learned, we complain it out a little so we can move into our new eras and let go of whatever baggage might be holding us behind. we chat current media im watching and soon to be consuming, back to school and surviving the school routine, creative ruts and how to get out of them, challenging yourself creatively, can you really keep it casual? and how to do so safely, the marijuana scaries and how to battle the paranoia, love will find you (I promise), you deserve it, working with kids, finding a balance between the healthy girl lifestyle and the party girl side, saying sorry, how to get out of the I hate myself mindset, what to do when your man gets hit on, first love breakups, does what down there really matter? we talk sizes and men being too small, hangovers and much much much more! if you want your question answered every week feel free to join the patreon patreon.com/smokeseshshawty for an extra episode every week, and if you want to see what im up to follow this instagram hannahmarlene for life updates, fun recipes, and much more, love you! have a safe weekend and ill see you al next week! muah!

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all oh my goodness good fucking morning hotties of the world welcome back to another hopefully amazing fun restorative episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host and i am here I am surviving but I'm here nonetheless my god did yesterday just absolutely fucking wipe me out anybody else have kind of a hectic chaotic high emotional weekend like I did

because my god I haven't had a day like this in a while I have done the work on myself to become as emotionally stable as possible simply because i do have a personality disorder and it is very hard for me to control and stay in my emotions especially healthier emotions it's so easy to get swept up by the negative so that's something i've really worked on with myself for a while is just choosing peace you know like it is so much easier to be mad at the fucking world constantly but like is that really going to be a way to live life no it's probably going to end my life sooner rather than later so like let's look on the positive side of things that's one big thing i had to learn after getting out of the the slammer the institution of sorts um is sometimes

you really do need to choose peace just for your mental health so that's something i've been honestly fairly good at i would say i have like one major breakdown like a month okay actually not even a month probably every other month I have one major breakdown and in the past my major breakdowns were like psych ward level like oh my god someone check on her is she okay did she set herself on fire but now now my kind of mental breakdowns are just like I need to go cry it out in the shower for like two hours eat a bowl of noodles and then like smoke a bowl and go to bed you know that's my like falling out now pretty healthy pretty healthy if I do say so myself in the past it would be like I'm burning down my house myself inside of it and everybody else who's

around me like it was just chaos chaos chaos anyways I've done the work I've gotten pretty good where it's like I know a routine I can put myself into whenever I'm not feeling great I know how to kind of calm myself down but my god i have not had a day a day that tested me in a while in a while and of course you know what i should have fucking known of course the capricorn full moon that day sunday slash saturday evening um it really tested me it did i have a capricorn moon so i understand just how difficult those emotions can be and how heightened they can be and how sensitive you can be absolutely i get you girl there's nothing wrong with being a little sensitive you know what i mean we're all a little more sensitive to some things than others sometimes

we have a bad day sometimes you know we're just not feeling it i really was not feeling it actually if i'm being honest i woke up sunday and i was like okay i wrote up a little thing about the capricorn full moon the night before just giving every all the girls on the patreon a warning just um like on the patreon i always do astrology updates whenever there's something big happening so of course I had to do a little write-up on the full moon and I was like okay a emotions are going to be heightened let's focus on seeing the positive and things like here's a little warning to my girlies it might be a little bit of a chaotic day let's focus on releasing one of the major big themes of the Capricorn full moon which a lot of you I'm sure probably felt was like the

ending of cycles um this is the second Capricorn full moon that we have had in the span of a month uh the last one being on June 21st and that one I feel like was about recognizing and realizing patterns and the second one that we went through yesterday or two days ago was all about getting fucking fed up with them seeing so many reoccurring themes and patterns and behaviors in our life that we are just we get to the point that we're like you know what I'm fucking done I'm done I don't want to do this anymore I don't want to be this person I don't want to be around these people I don't want to have these habits I'm fucking over it which honestly I think can be a great motivator sometimes especially for me who is the kind of hopeful wholehearted girly who likes to hold on

to things until they are completely run down sometimes you just have to get fucking fed up to find some like inspiration or to move forward so i do think my mental breakdown i can use into a positive area of my life but my god does not take a fucking toll on you so anyways the themes of uh sunday uh that full moon saturday night sunday was all about i'm just over it i don't want to live this kind of life i want to change things up i want to see more for myself let's make a five-year plan who do we want to be and how do we become her very inspiring things unfortunately the inspiration did come out of some some dark places for me um i woke up at 8 a.m you're like girl that's nothing that's nothing i know but i did go to bed at like 2 a.m the night

before woke up at 8 a.m i had to work a brunch shift things were going good i was cat sitting my neighbor's cat so like i gotta wake up have my little morning coffee get ready and then go pet some cats feed them go on to my shift whatever things are honestly going pretty good working brunch is not for the week though I have realized because brunch brings out like a different kind of entitlement that I'm not necessarily used to maybe it's from the drinking I'm not sure but I don't do well with being treated as if I am like I get I'm a service worker but like babe i'm not your personal butler do you know what i mean a please and a thank you goes a long way you know what kind of bitch i fucking hate a bitch who can't say please and thank you who raised you

where did you come from did your parents not teach you any fucking decorum like what's going on anyways i was trying to keep my level-headedness do my best smile through the pain have a little champagne drink here and there to take the edge off you know eat a little food our chef made us little breakfast tacos like I was doing okay I was doing okay and then we just got slammed out of nowhere we had a bunch of fucking tables I'm working my ass off it's like 1 p.m in the afternoon I'm sleepy tired I'm doing my best I see all these people out enjoying their Sunday and I'm like god I wish I could fucking be doing this but whatever I'm here to work I'm doing my thing and then I think about my restaurant it has a pretty low ceiling it's pretty low ceilings and if you're

not careful and you're above the height of like five three i'm like five six five eight i don't really know anyways i'm obviously above the height of five three you have to kind of watch your head when you're walking through doors or upstairs or whatever and i was running around running around running around i'm pretty careful about this stuff but it was running running running slam hit my fucking head so hard so hard that like my vision went black for a second you know when you hit your head so hard that you're like holy shit that just my brain actually just shook inside my entire head i felt my skull rattle that's exactly what happened to me and i had to just like take a deep breath i went to the bathroom i looked in the bathroom i'm immediately bleeding my head

immediately goosebumps and i'm like oh my god what the fuck what the fuck is happening what is going on i'm still like i have nine tables i'm running around there's no time to stop i'm like fuck it keep pushing keep pushing i'm doing my best with these fucking greedy ass tables and also i don't know what it is about brunch but the no tippers also come out what is happening like i get i get maybe on a to-go order stiffing a tip every once in a while maybe like a 15 whatever it is i've worked to go i've done that it's no biggie because the thing about like working on a to-go is you usually make hourly as well because they know they know people don't usually or don't as often tip 20% when ordering to-go's I get it not a biggie I'm not gonna get

upset about that but when you're coming in and you're sitting down service industry things service industry things once again realizing cycles and realizing I don't want to fucking work on the service industry anymore I've been here for six years I can complain at this point when you're like three years and you still have some hope left after a certain amount of time you're like wow i can't do this anymore four dollars on fifty four dollars on a hundred blah blah blah i'm like holy shit am i the most ugly person smelly person meanest person this entire restaurant because why the fuck are these people stiffing me on tips and that's the worst thing about serving is when you're trying to stay hopeful and you're trying to smile through the

pain even though you're fucking screaming at me and demanding things out of me and i don't want to go off on you because i'm still trying to have a good fucking day let me smile through it and then they don't fucking give you any money i'm like death death i hope your car flips on the fucking way home that's aggressive that's aggressive karma don't come after me i'm just being insane i sometimes you gotta you gotta get those emotions out you know what i mean and this is gonna be a complaining episode of the podcast if i'm being honest but the service industry girlies they get it especially when you are trying your fucking hardest and then they're like here's two dollars it's like wow i will just go jump off a fucking cliff thank you thank you i see you thanks babe

thank you for that let me laugh through the pain it's like as if you were working for a company and they were like okay we need you to do this big project we know you're the only girl for the job you need to have this project done by 5 p.m when you're about to clock out and you do the project you get it done in a timely manner even though it was last second and demanded from you and you hand it in and you're smiling through the pain and you're ready to go home and they go it's not good enough you need to stay an extra four hours also we're not gonna pay you for the time you just worked it's like and that's a part of the service industry i know what i was getting myself into but when it's on top one on top of another on top of another on top of another it gets to a point

where you're like god damn like if it's one every once in a while a couple every once in a while it's okay doesn't usually bother me even if sometimes I'm having days like this where just like tips are bad and I'm it's just like maybe everybody got paid two weeks ago but they still want to go out they don't have a lot of money it's like usually I am a very very understanding person usually I'm the kind of person who's like you know what I get it I've been down bad before but you still want to go out experience enjoy life have a meal out i'm not going to take it personally as long as you say please and thank you it's when the demanding comes in when the subhumanist comes in that i'm like my dad taught me when i was younger that if anybody disrespects

you feel free to go ahead and fight especially as a girl and dealing with men like if anybody disrespects you my dad always taught me just do not take that shit on the chin feel free to go ahead and swing back if they swing and that's been something i've really been trying to work out of my system especially working in the service industry and dealing with some crazy ass fucking people like literally insane i've had a man threaten to shoot me before trumps america that's literally what it's causing like insane customers and literally it's so crazy because they expect you just smile through it luckily the place i'm working at now the owner is not receptive to disrespectful customers and he owns multiple nightclubs in like turkey and many other countries

and has worked in them and constantly works in them and travels to go take care of them and make sure that everybody's doing well like he knows how to deal with rowdy customers so he's quick to kick person out he is quick if you if he feels like his servers are disrespected he is quick to remove them immediately i'm not the one to like erase problems like that and i understand the problem wasn't that big so really i just had to do my best through it but my god that eight hour shift sucked the life out of me absolutely sucked the life out of me i was feeling pretty tired when i left and then i got home and it really just spiraled like especially having a personality disorder and really having difficulty controlling your emotions and making sure they're in a good

place when you do get to that negative place it's kind of it's way harder to climb yourself back out than it is to go deeper so i just started sobbing and when i tell you i cried for maybe six hours literally sobbing snotty tears my boyfriend's at home having a good day and i come home and i'm just like oh and he's like what the fuck is happening he thinks i'm mad at him i'm not mad at him i'm trying to like explain through tears like what's going on just had a shitty morning nothing in particular just like overwhelming in general he's like what the fuck do i do like oh my god this girl's losing it like let me give her a little hug whatever it is but i cried for six hours probably longer I'm not gonna lie I got off my shift at like 3 30 and then I cried until

10 30 probably but listen sometimes you just have to have those days I feel like I talked about this in a podcast previously I was like I don't cry that often but when I do cry it's like a long cry it's like almost like an emotional purge of just like everything that's built up inside me and it's not like I'm pulling a white straight man move where it's like we don't cry we don't feel emotions that's not cool it's like no I feel them it's just I don't let them overwhelm me and when they do get overwhelming it gets super overwhelming you know what I mean and sometimes when you are getting that overwhelmed the best thing you can absolutely do for yourself is just like remove yourself from the equation not like that way I just realized what that might have

sounded like remove yourself from society and retreat to a safe place okay where you can feel these things out and release them i feel like the way i was feeling yesterday was a massive and incredible culmination of just how i have been feeling over the past couple years which is listen i recommend to everybody work in the service industry especially if you're young and you need quick cash money now I need my bills paid bitch get a serving job ASAP I guarantee you will make good money the amount of lawyers doctors nurses electrical engineers who could not find a job in their field right out of college maybe they lost their job whatever it is and then go to serving and make the same amount of money they would have with a high degree in a high paying

field is insane it is an option for everybody it is a great option for everybody it is a great backup to fall on if you do not know what you want to do with your life but you need your bills paid go serve go bartend i highly recommend it it is the one major way that i have been able to live the life that i have and kind of live extravagantly alongside my peers who are having 150 000 salaries a year is because i serve and i work and i mean i have multiple jobs but it is quick cash fast and it is great but also i can't do this fucking job for the rest of my life or i am going to end up an old miserable alcoholic and that just cannot fly that is not the person i want to become i was slowly seeing myself kind of fall into patterns and behaviors that i was not happy about

and I feel like especially with the Capricorn full moon I just kind of snapped and I was like you know what I'm feeling this way but I'm feeling this way because I'm feeling like I'm in a place that I don't want to be anymore and I am ready to grow and emerge and transform and really dive headfirst into the next stage of my life that is exactly what the Capricorn full moon was about raising those emotions forcing you to feel them and deal with them accordingly and then move forward i don't know if you guys felt the same way i did let me know below i don't know if you were realizing maybe patterns of behavior that you need to break transform different lives that you want to step into or leave behind but that's exactly what you should be feeling and dealing

with and you should move forward accordingly do not fall back into old patterns if you recognize things about yourself that you don't like the beautiful thing about it is we can change you can choose something different you can move on to something different so honestly I kind of needed that I really did need that I really did need something to open my eyes and show that you know what sure it was good for me for a while but now it's time to move forward into the next stage of your life especially turning 25 and like my frontal lobe really fully developing and really trying to focus on who I want to be in five years and where do I want to be at 30 and how am I going to get there I'm just realizing a lot of things I need to change and different ways I need to grow

but now is the time to implement those things if you start the work now in five years it will feel like you are a completely different human being and probably a completely different human being in a much better way so shout out to all the rude fucking people yesterday it made me just realize i do not want to fucking deal with you anymore and i want to be on my own vibe and i'm tired of just being like the punching bag for people who have an ego complex oh if i was not clocked in i would have humbled those people so quickly but sometimes you just gotta smile through the pain what a weird fucking thing to say i'm gonna move on i'm gonna go cry in the walk-in oh i'm tired of the service industry but hey you gotta make money somehow you know what i mean anyways moral

of the story is sometimes you gotta get fed up with yourself and the world around you in order to make a change especially me like i'm such a hard-headed bitch i don't see the signs until they're like literally an inch away from my face also pretty sure i have a concussion from hitting my fucking head so no wonder I was just like sobbing and tired and exhausted also I've been wearing the wrong contacts recently thus my giant like 70s glasses are one also I'm probably blending into this couch I didn't even realize listen today's a silk robe no contacts kind of day that's exactly the vibe I'm going for but I've been wearing the wrong contacts so my like depth perception has been off and it's been giving me a headache it was just a mess it was a mess it was

really showing me like bitch we need to get it together we need to move forward and move forward in a way that really brings the dream life to us so that's what I'll be focusing on I'm kind of retreating from the world as I enter my weekend my weekend is usually Mondays Tuesdays so I think me and my boyfriend are going to go to the river this evening and just kind of get into nature and put on my hiking boots and breathe in some fresh air and really cleanse away the stress that I've been feeling kind of unnecessarily I don't I don't know it's just all accumulated but I need to wash it away in some fresh water and just like listen to the birds and not think for a bit that is the best way to really heal after dealing with society for too long if I'm being honest so

that's the plan for today I'm gonna make me a yummy lunch I'm gonna hang out with you guys I'm gonna smoke a fat bowl okay really just take the edge off and today is all about you know turning things around having a little laugh finding inspiration finding motivation taking a cumulative deep breath and releasing it together literally all I wanted to do last night was just go outside and just like scream and let it out but I don't want to really scare anybody so we're gonna do that on a mental level today together with our little smoke sash sorry for to make you guys listen to me complain for like 25 minutes but i have a feeling that a lot of my spiritual work has been very intuitive um especially working with people and like tarot and things like that

um also a lot of my astrology interpretations are very intuitive and i love getting on this podcast and chatting with you guys because i do think a lot of the things that you may feeling you may be feeling that you're going through alone so many other people are going through the same thing together okay you are not alone in the way you feel I know I had a really bad fucking day yesterday but I'm sure so many of you guys are listening to this and being like you know what me too why was I feeling that way what can I take from it so even though I might be complaining for 20 minutes hopefully we can kind of learn together and move forward together and understand that we are never alone in the way we feel and together we can kind of hold each other's hands

and walk each other home and make sure we get home safe together so hopefully we can learn something and do better and share a little laugh today that's really the main goal escape from the chaos of the world and kind of back into our own inner world of peace and fun and joy that's the goal anyways let's smoke a little bowl take the edge off and get into your guys's questions cheers all right babes let's hit this last night to heal my soul though i was like i either need dim sum some jajangmyun noodles black bean noodles or like some sort of like warm spicy noodle in my belly so my boyfriend was so sweet and he watched me roll around and cry on the floor very scared in the corner and i was like

i just want noodles everything was closing it's sunday it's 9 p.m i'm hungry i'm sobbing my head hurts i can't make a decision and he went he got me some green curry rice noodles with some chicken and it was so yummy and just what i needed we smoked took a dab we finished the last episode of the boys this season honestly great show great show very gory but i read the comics my co-worker lent me the comics and like artistically very interesting story and i love the interpretation from comic to tv show because i'm so so fucking tired of seeing people like reboot things that have already been made like babe they were good you can you can let something be good without having to rehash it you can let something be good and just enjoy the original without having to

recreate something because i feel like when you recreate something and you do it badly it takes away from the original in some sort of way i hate it i hate it the like they're filming a new uh freaky friday like resurgence loved freaky friday great 10 out of 10 movie but like i'm so nervous to see the second because it's like oh if you do something badly and the original was so good i genuinely believe it takes away from it so seeing people like find inspiration maybe in different media forms and bring it to life in a different kind of media and still like pay homage is so good I love seeing that into artistic interpretation like we need more of that like more books to movies more comics to movies video games to movies like would love to see anyways

the boys is great if you need something to binge watch it is pretty gory I'm not gonna lie but like the comics are way worse way worse not in like a weird way just like in a detailed way you know what i mean um but the boys is a great show to kind of binge watch and then we started watching we got so high you know when you well so i we gotta get we have to get our movies off of like f movies or whatever you know like one two three movies f movies those websites where it's like everybody just like mass uploads I think this is low-key I-L-L-E-G-A-L did I spell that fucking right listen I'm a little high I can't fucking spell but you know what I'm talking about um where they just re-upload movies and tv shows and we were so high we were watching like a film

on camera that someone had recorded and we had no clue until like halfway through we're like why why does the audio like this? We're like, oh my god, someone recorded this in the theater. What the fuck? Why are we watching this? But we were watching A Quiet Place, like, the first day or whatever. Honestly, we got, like, halfway through. Pretty good. Halfway through, 40 minutes into a movie that was filmed on camera. Like, bad quality, but honestly, I was enthralled. I was so invested. But yeah, I need new TV show recommendations. I think I'm gonna re-watch succession oh that show was so good oh to be in the depths and the drama of rich people's lives not like a real housewives kind of vibe more like a like a company business owning kind of vibe like

i want to know what the getty family is like you know like the oil tycoon family like you're so rich and so fucking out of touch like i want to see the drama i don't want to be involved but i would like to watch it you know um i do need to watch succession again and then that's really it if you have good tv show recommendations or movie recommendations let me know but that's what i've been watching um some of you guys have been asking me like what kind of content i consume like podcasts youtube movies so i think i'm gonna do like a monthly roundup this is inspired by someone on tiktok i did not come up with this i'm definitely forgetting her name if you know her shout out but they do uh like media of the month and all the media they consumed of the month

like books tv shows movies things like that i think i'm gonna start keeping track of that so and share with you guys every month if you want to see that let me know but i do get a lot of questions like what are you watching um so i feel like instead of sharing every week i'll do a round up every month and kind of give you guys some inspiration on long form media to consume that is not just tiktok tiktok real tiktok real tiktok real but honestly i've been shifting to reels has anybody else been shifting to reels recently like tiktok i'm over i cannot do tiktok shop instagram is going to ruin themselves if they do anything like tiktok shop they already do kind of have like a shop feature but like bitch I ain't using that and the ads and the pushing the ads it's too

much too much so I really have moved to reels I don't know if you guys have let me know I wish I had a chat up maybe I should start live streaming so many ideas it's so funny that like I hit such a low rock bottom point and I just cry for eight hours smokable and I'm like wow life is good I'm feeling great what am i gonna do what am i gonna create like let's get into it oh i love just the swing of emotions all right let's like actually genuinely question roulette this bitch since i decided to just ramble for 30 minutes so sorry about that let's see how many questions i can get to because this is kind of what i do on the patreon on the patreon i answer every single question and there are a lot of questions every week so best believe i be working my way through

those detailed getting to the point okay let's get to the point let's get to all your questions let's see what's on your mind someone said tips for adjusting back into the school routine in the fall i'm starting law school eek i love and miss school so much because it's like a forceful routine you know what i mean you have no choice your class is already scheduled they already at a certain time there's already a you know outline of what you need to do and when tests are going to be and all that stuff it is kind of kind of so nice and you only realize how nice it is once you're outside of it grass is always green on the other side let's be real so I say embrace it embrace it okay if you know you're gonna have a certain routine if you know things are gonna be

on certain days adjust and expect I think things will go best for you if you do it that way as in get a planner go over the syllabus write it all in on a yearly schedule yearly planner so you are on top of things and not feeling behind the big thing about procrastination is you fear that you're not going to be good enough so you just don't do it okay I'm scared oh it won't work out for me I'm scared this is going to happen oh but what if I can't do it bitch you don't know until you fucking do it and the amount of anxiety that procrastination is going to cause versus just being on top of it and staying peaceful and mindful of what you need to do it's so much more worth it trust me trust me from a like previous procrastination girly who like would put it off

and off oh but i do better when i do it last minute no you do not no you do not and the grades will show that the work will show that the grades are so much better when you actually put in the fucking work so in order for the work to be a little bit easier and a little bit more manageable especially in school and in harder schools i went to nursing school like bitch i get it law school is a whole different level props to you my brother did law school and my god he is the smartest person that i fucking know but also that is a challenge okay the best way to win a challenge and do good in a challenge is to be expectant of the challenge you're gonna fail the challenge if you're assuming it's going to be easy assume it's going to be hard take precaution adjust the routine

make sure you are aware of what's going on it will make the smaller detailed harder work such as studying writing things like that so much easier please expect the routine adjust accordingly and also like enjoy i know it's gonna fucking suck but you're gonna miss those nights where you gotta like sit in the library for eight hours like literally engorging your brain like i miss doing that so much i think i'm going back to school all the time so understand that you are so lucky to be able to do this do not take it for granted and the best thing you can do always when it comes to school is simply do your best restarting your life and moving after the most toxic relationship of your life this is the first day to the start of your life you chose peace you

chose what is good for you i am so proud of you for doing that that is the hardest choice you will ever have to make in this lifetime find peace in that and continue choosing better for yourself okay there's this amazing tweet by this girly i love online internet guru wizard size swim she is so knowledgeable and basically the antithesis of the quote is when you enter a new era of your life it is like walking into a large room and being the only person in it that can feel super isolating that can feel super lonely but also that room is waiting to be filled and you are the person in charge of filling it and you have so many options open the world is completely open to you and how beautiful is that you know what i mean you made the hard decision

everything else from here is going to be so much easier if you keep enacting on that feeling of what is best for me what do i deserve let me hold myself to some standards so i keep receiving good things you are going to be so blessed the universe always delivers when you decide to make a hard choice the universe always always will throw gifts at you if you change onto a better course for yourself a better life plan for yourself the universe will always gift you with something so understand blessings are coming your way you are deserving of everything good i am proud of you the world is completely opening its arms up to you to receiving and giving positivity and goodness in your direction. So make sure those steps that you take are in a positive one towards the best

life that you want to live. The world is yours. The world is yours. Absolutely. Every single decision we make in life is a decision that's going to put us on a course of action towards a future us. What kind of future you do you want to be? Who do you want to be? What do you want to achieve where do you want to live all of those things you can make a reality if you just do the work i saw someone say um my entire life changed when i learned a dream written down with a date becomes a goal a goal broken down into steps becomes a plan and a plan backed by action becomes reality love you someone asked how to get out of a creative rut i'm so burnt out i can't even make art you can make art you need to switch it up i have been a notorious drawing person

acrylics person and i've gotten to many different forms of art and tried everything and i feel like the best way to kind of force yourself out of a creative rut is to try a new medium always always if you're used to designing t-shirts graphic design things like that switch it to watercolors switch it to oil painting start doing um working with clay making plates pottery switch it make a change it will force you to kind of see things in a different creative light in a different way of viewing things I view artists as kind of putting on different glasses because you do need to be able to look at the art in different ways based on the medium that you're using so if you are in a creative rut and you're used to doing something and you just can't draw anymore you used to draw

all the time but you just can't draw anymore start doing pottery okay I did airbrushing for a while today i moved on to watercoloring and i've challenged myself every day to just do like one watercolor painting it doesn't have to be good i'm not holding myself to any standards the challenge isn't in how good the art is the challenge is in learning how to use the medium and just having fun it doesn't have to be a good page but attempting to do one page every day i guarantee it will build inspiration inside of you it will build the desire to be more creative and try new things and you will continue down a better path than if you just don't do anything the best way to get through a creative block is kind of force yourself out of your comfort zone

see things from a new perspective in new lenses okay try something new if you are a creative person you're lacking that creativity it's because you're not looking at the world around you and trying new things you're not forcing yourself out of your box okay you got to get out of your box a little bit i have been a notorious acrylic and oil paint girly because i make a lot of mistakes i like to change things i'm indecisive i want to be able to scrape that paint away or paint on top of it and move on but i feel like it's kind of stifled me because i know i can do anything and one thing that i've been too afraid to ever try is watercolors um because it's very hard to go over things like once it's down on that paper it's down okay like it's there so i was like fuck

it something i've always been afraid of it's something i've never really decided to work with let's do it let's do it i haven't made art in probably eight months that's too long that's too long for a creative girly and the only person holding me back is me because i keep thinking i need to make perfect perfect perfect things things aren't going to be perfect on the first try ever this the reason it becomes perfect is through trial constant and error and perseverance to do better okay not from a random creative spark that just like creates greatness that does happen but is more rare than simply putting in the work and trial and error and doing better accordingly so challenge yourself try something new i love my little cute one watercolor painting a day

takes maybe 10 minutes okay out of my time watercolor is great because there's like no mess simple cleanup I let it air dry you know what I mean I clean my brushes and it's really forced me to kind of tap back into the creative side of myself so I encourage everybody to get out of their comfort zone every once in a while especially if you feel like not only like a creative rut but also just like stuck in life I encourage you to get out of your bubble see from a new perspective try new things force yourself out of your comfort zone you will grow because of it how did you casual right i don't do casual i don't do casual i am all in it or nothing and i find beauty in that and that's why i don't want to take away from it but i understand like people want to

have a casual relationship people still want to kind of like give and receive sex and love without being committed that's like a huge trend or whatever anyways i think the best way to do casual is not by having a friends with benefit relationship bitch what's the benefit there is no benefit okay you're just gonna get attached to this person it's very normal to get attached to a person when giving and receiving sex because that's exactly the whole fucking point of it you are making love making love people don't realize that's exactly what's going on if you keep doing that with the same person over and over and over and over again your brain's gonna get really confused no matter how you truly feel in your heart because of the overwhelming love chemicals

you two are creating together it is a bonding experience people have seemed to forgotten that the casual part of it all i think can come from like simple one-night stands one-off men here and there kind of men or women whatever you're into but the friends with benefits relationship unless you have many uh rules and regulations in place that you guys are both adhering to and standing honest by they always get complicated and it's never worth it it isn't i say if you want casual girl go to a bar have a little chit chat meet a person talk with them for like five six hours go run around the town together and then you know make sure you're both safe have a conversation about protection make sure you're on birth control whatever it is girl pull up a condom

whatever it needs to be all right and then have some fun okay maybe get a little breakfast bagel in the morning move on with your life i genuinely believe that's kind of the best way to do casual but i do think the friends with benefits and situationships nowadays those get messy so fast and are just simply put not casual at all like go out have fun enjoy your life i feel like people have adhered away from casual and more into friends with benefits which is a little bit more emotionally taxing because of the whole like body count discourse and people not wanting to up their body count so they just keep going back to people that they have had experiences with maybe aren't the best for them mentally um when in reality like life's meant to be lived if you're

not enjoying a person and they're not enjoying you or like it's just not gonna work out girl move on who cares you know what i mean go out go live go enjoy if you truly truly are not ready for a relationship and you genuinely just want casual just go out on a night on the town don't focus on sex don't focus on hookups it'll come to you when it comes to you make sure you are staying protective and don't put your morals and your needs and wants aside for the sake of casualness you know what i mean someone said smoked too much weed took way too much and freaked out is this really for me um i always like to give this psa every once in a while especially maybe to people who are not used to consuming weed or are new to it anxiety and paranoia is a side

effect of weed okay it is going to happen no matter what especially if you take too much it's a side effect okay it's not you it's not your brain it is a genuine reaction that's going to be caused when your brain is going to be changed from a chemical substance very normal very real very human reaction and feeling now i also like to call it a side effect slash symptom because i do think it happens pretty often to a lot of people and if that's something that you do not think you can deal with or handle or want to experience then i do not recommend it for you i like to be very real when it comes to how weed affects people i'm not going to be one of those fucking hippie dreadlock girlies on here being like weed is the best thing that happened to me

and everybody needs to be high constantly to see how beautiful the world is around them like babe no i understand that negativity can come out of anything and i'm going to be very real with the basic negatives especially of a substance so maybe people don't experience that paranoia and that fear if they don't want to it's very real it's going to happen please understand the moment it's not a you thing it is a substance thing i feel like that helps me get through it more than anything where it's just like well i can't get higher than this you know what i mean like i'm gonna come down eventually you know the paranoia is gonna go away eventually at least i know it's only just like a a for now thing but i do have a couple recommendations especially you find yourself

in that paranoia a if you don't like it maybe weed's not for you that's a sign please take the sign accordingly we all have different experiences and effects from different things it's okay if it doesn't react well with you it's okay if you don't like something very normal listen to that gut feeling move forward b i learned this one with my little drug dealer first boyfriend ever in my life um i ate a whole pan of edibles one time and of course started having a freak out my grandma just died i was going through it i was in a bad relationship i had just baked a whole pan of brownies that i was about to fling out of my dorm room basically to people for money i was a chaotic little child um and i ate the whole pan ate the whole pan

when I tell you I felt like I was in one of those like carnival things where you're like walking down like a little bridge but like the whole there's a circle going around you and it's spinning and it's spinning and you're trying to like stay upright because your equilibrium is off that's exactly what happened to me I was so high so high um and when I tell you this man shoved a dab pen in my face and said hit this I said do you do you want things to be bad for me like are you my what's going on why do you hate me he's like no it is only cbd cbd is supposed to be in weed for a reason i genuinely believe that i've been a big proponent of cbd for my entire career i have worked with a cbd brand that i love and miss dearly please come back to me um anyways

love cbd great thing changed my life i always am a big proponent to people especially people who maybe have had bad experiences with weed and want to maybe have a good experience with it i do think CBD is great for people um it is the calming effect of the weed the THC is what gets you that psychedelic experience the CBD is what offsets it and neutralizes it okay they're supposed to go hand in hand I don't know why these people are fucking these like growers are breeding out all of the CBD in the weed like I don't mind a little bit of it it keeps the paranoia at bay okay tell me why i smoke weed now and it feels like i'm receiving a lobotomy like we don't need to have it that strong okay like i need i have to do things i gotta go clean my house i don't need

to be in a coma for four hours anyways he put this dab pen in my face i immediately see red like how dare you it's cbd when i tell you that saved me especially when i felt like i was in a place that i wasn't going to come out of it can be very scary and very overwhelming especially when you're not in your right mind and cbd can kind of neutralize and reverse the effects of paranoia in weed especially if you feel it quite often um i have a manager who or previous manager love her dearly um she hates weed bad experiences not good cannot smoke it at all cannot even have a inkling of thc in her system she's gonna freak out i gave her these like cbd gummies that were only cbd of course i think it was like 0.02 thc like too low wasn't it's no big deal um she loved these things

loved them she had a hard time sleeping she couldn't take melatonin because her dreams would be crazy and i'm like okay we'll try these cbd gummies loves them calms her equalizes her puts her ass to bed there are benefits of cbd even outside if you smoke weed but if you have extreme paranoia maybe when you're going to the dispo let's buy those gummies that are like 50 50 in order to make sure that we're having a good experience um i love just like plain cbd flour and mixing it in with a little bit of my weed i love the effects that it has especially on like afternoon morning early evening smoking i feel like it's the perfect kind of high but yes paranoia anxiety it is a side effect it's going to happen there's nothing wrong with you

if it's something that you do not enjoy maybe this isn't the thing for you and that's okay please listen to your body and your experiences um but also why the hell is weed so strong nowadays please keep the cbd in it i'm begging someone said advice on how to be patient to let love come to you your girl is feeling lonely p.s i love you so much i love you thank you for that so when it comes to love it'll the best love will always find you when you least expect it and you're like babe I'm tired of having my fucking back to the world when the hell is it gonna find me a you got to put yourself out there I do truly believe that you got to not only like open yourself up to receiving but also don't receive everything you know what I mean go out to little bars have a little flirt

you know hit people up be on the apps enjoy peruse you know what I mean you got to be open you can't have your back facing the world but also the second hand of that is when it comes when you least expect it is you need to be able to hold yourself to a standard of you know what you want that you don't accept everything so when something finally does show up it does kind of feel like a missing puzzle piece it does kind of feel like it fits in naturally to the life that you want to live that's when that beautiful kind of love shows up so a open your heart put yourself out there go try different things say hi hit on people put you're single live your best life be a little delusional in that sort of sense you know what i mean but still have standards and ideas of what

you want and make sure that you are living a healthy good lifestyle for yourself so that when that person does show up they fit in perfectly and if people don't fit in naturally it's okay to understand that maybe that person is not the right person for you learn that sooner rather than later learn that sooner than like two years in and you're like who the fuck did i marry part 89 you know what i mean have standards live your best life and open your heart up to the world around you be kind to people the universe will push that energy your way tenfold thoughts on treating yourself only when you've earned it um that's a slippery slope for me because every second of my life i feel like i've earned it that's my problem i'm like i just cried for six

hours you know what i did the emotional work let me get some food you know what i mean or it's like i worked a three-hour shift fuck it let me buy something off depop it's like i i have the opposite problem where it's like i constantly feel like i've earned it i constantly feel like i'm going through something so i'm like fuck it let me get let me get a little sweet treat for myself you know what i mean now if you hold yourself to like unachievable standards you're never going to like give yourself something good please understand especially happy leo season okay every moment it is a second for celebration and if you wait to wear that dress or do that thing until the timing is right guess what the time's gonna be over every second is a means to celebration every second is a

means to enjoyment and fulfillment that's what this life is about okay you're gonna be on your deathbed being like why did i only wear that beautiful dress once instead of oh i should have wore that dress like every friday i'm so happy i wore it out every weekend who cares if i was always in the same thing you know what i enjoyed it to the fullest extent you know what i mean you deserve good things you deserve to enjoy life and celebrate a little you know what i mean now don't over indulge like i tend to do okay your bank account will really regret it i promise someone said please post more vlogs i live for them that's all tbh illy i love you i'm planning on doing like an end of summer vlog kind of like summer bucket list vlog that should be out mid

August so stay tuned but yeah I'm trying to post more vlogs I'm trying to get my content up I love doing this podcast for sure every week but I'm also like what else can I create what else can I do and you guys have loved the vlog so I am planning a couple new ones stay tuned go follow the YouTube at smoke says shawty someone said I know you've worked with kids before do you have any tips starting a job at a daycare soon yes I have worked with kids I have been a private in home nanny and I also was a two-year-old daycare teacher so I have worked with many children my biggest amount was I was in charge of 24 two-year-olds with one assistant it was a lot it was a lot my two top tips when it comes to working with children or in child care is a don't be

afraid to get a little silly I love working with kids because when I'm around adults too much I feel like we have like a I'm wearing like a skin suit like I'm pretending too much like I feel like a little puppet i'm like i have to adhere to certain like social things and i you know can't be super silly i don't want to weird anybody out but kids they don't give a fuck you know what i mean like they're weird they're silly you got to get on their level a little bit tap into like the fun and silliness that childhood brings okay that will help you when the stressful shit comes out okay when they won't listen when one of them has a blowout when they're screaming and crying and rolling around on the floor it's like it lets you see the humorous sides of things and kind of take

it on the chin instead of getting overwhelmed with it so i really recommend diving into the silliness of life i think you're really gonna enjoy it i always loved working with children because it did bring me out of that like rigidness that i had adopted in adulthood and really taught me to just like enjoy and see the world from different perspectives and really focus on the little things especially when their worlds are so small that everything around them means so much so make sure you're a positive impact on their life you know how to find balance between a healthy lifestyle and a party girl oh this is a great fucking question so i feel like it's hard because they kind of like negate each other you know what i mean like the healthy girl lifestyle

is great you feel so well rested then you go out for a party night and it feels like you've kind of regressed in some sort of way i do think you have a good balance between like a healthy lifestyle and the party girl lifestyle is it's kind of like the 80 20 rule same thing with like eating out and stuff like that 80 of the time healthy lifestyle okay we're gonna try and go to bed early we're gonna make sure we're eating our greens we're gonna be kind to ourselves and take care of ourselves now 20 of the time you can lose your shit you can go crazy you can go balls to the wall maybe that's like once a week maybe it's a weekend out every once a month whatever your 80 20 looks like is good for you but make sure it's 80 20 okay we can't do a four-day bender

two-day healthy lifestyle you're not going to feel good you're not going to be able to really fully take care of yourself i think the best balance when it comes to like healthiness of stability routine feeding yourself making sure you're taking care of yourself going to bed early getting sleep tlc versus sometimes you got to let the monster out once a week or once a month and just go out and party and have a good time i also think there's a safe way of partying where it's not like the benders that i've been on where you know you're going out for some drinks and maybe you're out till 1 a.m latest then you go home you get a good eight hours and you wake up the next day feeling good the three-day benders are not going to be a fun way of living um it's really

going to negate the work you did in that kind of like healthy era of your life um and it's going to regress you a little bit so make sure your partying is also on a healthy level the older i get the less i can party i used to go on benders for like months like i'm talking i mean i would show up and i'd clock in but mentally was i there no no i was not i was ready to go out and drink and do a plethora of drugs that i found on the floor like i think back to that i'm like holy shit a how did i have the energy because i was not living any sort of like healthy lifestyle on the side that's for sure i was eating taco bell and like barely sleeping i don't know how i had the energy to do that it was probably the the unregulated molly but it will slowly kill you

it will i feel like i'm 80 now it is not a healthy lifestyle to live if you're finding yourself there take a look around you do you think this is something you can continue doing forever no have fun you know what i mean but also be safe please have a healthy balance it will make sure the partying will be able to go longer in your life and make sure that at 60 you can still have as much fun as you did at 20 you know you know what it's one of those kind of days i don't remember the last time i smoked a couple bowls with you all before but like i need to chill today i am on major chill vibes only today the only plans i have today are oiling my hair icing my head from whacking it on the fucking ceiling um escaping the city and getting into nature probably taking

a long hot fucking bath and smoking a couple bowls along the way so with that being said cheers let's get into a couple more of your questions we'll do a little bit of a longer episode today and then i gots to go but i love you let's hit this why will my boyfriend not say sorry for things he has done he is actually incapable my boyfriend always says there's this funny tweet that like kills me but every time we get into an argument or his friends are like well why doesn't she do some blah blah blah he's like me and my girl don't fight she just hit me over the head with a rock and i apologize and honestly listen i'll admit when i'm wrong but like my parents i never saw them fight i just saw

my mom like randomly start crying and then my dad would be like i'm so sorry i'm so sorry like let me give you a hug let me make it up to you let's move on and that's why they were able to move on pretty quickly and do pretty good in their marriage and honestly I never really saw them fight it's because my dad always apologized even if he knew he wasn't in the wrong he's like fuck it I don't want to get into it like I don't care sometimes I even feel that way where it's like I know I haven't done anything wrong I know my boyfriend's just pissed off for no reason but I'm like you know what fuck it I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't really want to do this right now like let's not get into it someone just needs to apologize I don't really care who it is let's just

move on like fuck it I'll say sorry and I feel like especially in partnerships that kind of mentality is really important where it's like I'm not interested in the fighting of it all like I understand someone's probably wrong or maybe nobody is wrong maybe we're just both having bad days maybe one person's having a bad day high emotional day whatever it is that was me yesterday my boyfriend did nothing wrong but he sent me sat me down and looked me in the eyes and he was like I'm sorry I'm sorry whatever you went through sucks that sucks I see you I see how stressed out you are I'm sorry when people are incapable of saying sorry especially for things they've done that is a major red flag in my book that is a major major red flag because how are

you going to take accountability and do better in your life if you can't see wrong things you have done address them and seek better hello hello and i do think that's an adult skill you pick up um i feel like especially when you're in your younger 20s you still have a lot of that ego that me me me main characterness like no i can never be wrong because this is my reality and i only see good things about myself i only see that i'm right that will not get you far in life that will keep you chained down to the ego we do not want to be in our ego we need to understand that we're humans we're gonna fuck up sometimes that's okay that is okay you deserve forgiveness but you gotta put the work in you gotta say i'm sorry talk about the cody co situation okay

bitch that man is it too late now to say sorry dancing behind a dj podium not one word spoken hello you would not be in this trouble this much trouble if you were just like you know what but also like can he really admit because that's like a crime anyways i'm not his lawyer but i can tell you that a majority of the anger he is facing is because he is not owning up to his shit and doing better people will always hold more of a place in their hearts for you if they recognize that you recognize that sometimes we just fuck up and you have the heart and the respect for the other person to say sorry if he can't say sorry if he can't own up to things if he can't see that he's a human being and sometimes we fuck up and my partner is deserving of respect and an apology then are they

really a good partner for you and i oop i've dated a capricorn man okay i know what it's like to never get an apology and they always think they're right it is not a way to live it really is not and it's going to fully drain you especially if it's a reoccurring constant theme in your relationship if you just find your your boyfriend like kind of hard-headed every once in a while no biggie but if he can genuinely never see that he's wrong run run okay please run as far and as fast as you can how to get yourself out of an i hate myself phase there's a lot of mental work you can do such as changing up your routine switching things adjusting accordingly but get on pinterest scroll through those pins see things dream idealize really just work forward

to a better version of yourself but also i have a very quick tip as well i feel like when i am in a i hate myself phase i feel like i want to like shed my skin i feel like i need to metamorphosis and it's not happening happening at a level quick enough for me to see of course change is not going to be overnight it does take time and steps and working forward i get that i get that but sometimes babe i need to see a change overnight so what i do this is like kind of like a physical ritual i do with myself it's kind of like on the spiritual side of like ritualistic but also very transformative and gives you an overnight change i make an at home like salt and sugar body scrub and i get into the shower or the bathtub and i sit in there and i turn on a jazz album i light a candle i turn

the lights off and i scrub myself from head to toe in a salt and sugar buddy body scrub not only is it going to make your body so moisturized nourished it's going to physically remove old layers of yourself you're going to feel like a baby that just fell out of the womb okay full of life soft open to the world around them all right you're going to be able to work through and process those emotions or those things holding you back as you meditate and do this ritual of scrubbing yourself another great way to do this is hair oiling that's why my hair is so long because I would be like going through a fucking crisis crisis and I hate myself crisis and I'm like you know what instead of sitting here and spiraling at least let's like do something with

our hands and work through those emotions as I'm spiraling and also give myself a physical sign of love as I'm spiraling I feel like when we are indulging in the physical it transforms into a mental state as well and when we are showing ourselves love by scrubbing cleaning ourselves moisturizing ourselves combing our hair it does have a positive mental effect as well especially when you're taking the time while doing those things to work those emotions process and move forward okay it's a great overnight little thing to do maybe i'll make a youtube video on my salt and sugar body scrub um i think i did one for the patreon a while back but that'd be a quick little easy youtube video to upload this week you know what i'll do it you know what fuck it it'll be

out by friday so stay tuned oh that's the kind of vibe i'm on right now i'm like you know what fuck it what do we have to lose what do you have to lose the world's ours let's do it you know what i mean get into the creative side of things sure it's gonna be hard but like isn't everything we might as well choose what's hard on us thoughts on biden stepping down baby girl i'm just here to observe and this has been a crazy week literally last week oh my god insane insane political violence and now this literally america right now feels like a reality television show and i'm not sure how i feel about that but i am in the same boots as you honey and i feel like we're all just kind of like here for the observation of it all like all you can really do is just take

it in and it's quite insane i'm not gonna lie it has been a roller coaster do i have any specific thoughts on it not really not really i've been dealing with my own shit i'm not gonna lie hey girl i love the pod how to deal with girls overstepping boundaries towards my boy oh if they're your friends if they're people close to you and they know you're in a relationship and you're close with them and they're trying to overstep your boundaries a communicate quickly and b if you're close to them and they're constantly going after your man i do think that's a major red flag and i think it's a major red flag you should take to heart um whether your boyfriend is entertaining it or not um i do not think like i don't think friends behave that way

you know what i mean like bitch i would never ever fall for any of the men that my friends are with because like they just are not my taste and also like that's my friend's boyfriend why the fuck would i ever think about him in any way why the fuck would i think about him period you know what i mean um like sorry but i feel like that's kind of how girlfriends relationships work i'm like i don't really care about the boyfriend he's just kind of a side character you know what i mean i'll hear things here and there but also like i'm really just here for my friend anyways if they're like overstepping your boundaries and really getting into your boyfriend i think that's a red flag i think you're not crazy i think you're allowed to state boundaries and say hey i'm a

little uncomfortable with this behavior not sure why you're texting my boyfriend i don't think you have to hold that inside but also if your boyfriend's entertaining it let's also address address both elephants in the room now when it comes to like strangers hitting on them in bars um this has happened quite a few times with me and my boyfriend where he'll just like be doing his own thing and I'm talking to someone else and I turn around and there's like a girl like up on him and he's like obviously uncomfortable and obviously like not trying to talk to her at all and I just kind of observe like I'm not the crazy bitch who's gonna like walk up there and pull her hair unless you like physically start touching him then we'll have a problem but like if you're

going up to flirt I can really just sit back and laugh and my boyfriend kind of does the same thing when people hit on me and it's not coming from a place of like oh like looking down on your partner or the other person at all it's really just like a i have so much trust in my partner that i know he'll never do anything so it's just kind of silly seeing people try and pull them because it's like literally impossible like it's impossible like babe you're talking to a brick wall it's okay it's just it's silly to see it's funny and the best way to kind of break that up is just to like walk up and in between it but don't take it personally okay it just means you have a hot boyfriend congrats congrats babe but also you need to have like they need to be able

to provide you with respect and kind of like reassurance where you get to that point of I see someone hitting on my boyfriend but also like I don't care like like you literally just have a little laugh if you can't have that much trust in your partner we gotta focus on working on that okay we gotta focus on building trust in that relationship trust is the most important thing to have in a relationship always literally the basis of the relationship someone said going through the universal 19 year old first love breakup help why has that happened to all of us why has that happened to all of us if I could go back and look my 19 year old self in the face who just had gotten broken up with and was like crying and rolling around on the floor a I would say get

up go do something do not sit in your room the first thing I did after my ex broke up with me is I went to a Christmas party that I was having with my friends and that was the best decision I ever could have made for myself because i started i just like forgot i forgot all about him okay i forget about my emotions i forgot about how i felt sure i would feel them here and there but also i'm around people that love me and support me and are there for me and we're having a good time we're drinking wine we're opening up presents it was great okay seek out your friends especially in times of need that's what your friends are there for don't go over and just cry and roll around i mean you can do that the first couple of days but also let's focus on building experiences

and going out and experiencing life side by side with people who actually do love you and care about you okay get around your friends number two do not talk to them there is no friends after a relationship especially when you're young especially if you were the one getting broken up with of course you still have love for them you were blindsided you are going to hang out as quote unquote friends and your heart is going to break in front of you seeing your now ex-boyfriend treat you as a friend but also kind of still want to fuck you it's like what the fuck do you want from me why am i here why am i doing this this is really just hurting me more than anything you just take time away it's okay you do not have to maintain contact please take time to yourself to heal

to grow to change because especially at that young of an age if you do not move on if you do not move on and keep that person out of your life right then you're still living like in the existence of who you were in that relationship as if like you were waiting okay you don't have time to wait we got to keep growing and changing and moving forward you guys kill me i love it this is a safe space what do i do if my boyfriend's dick is kind of small um honestly i just think you got to get creative you do you got to get creative in fact he's got to get creative it's not the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean whatever that quote is you know what i mean get creative go to a sex store try some things maybe get a little butt plug you know have fun focus on um foreplay

more than anything also try different positions maybe he feels bigger in certain positions than others okay get creative especially if you love him but if you're kind of like turned off by it it's something to think about listen everybody's different sizes everybody fits together differently you gotta find the right pair of boots that fit you gotta find the right pair jeans that fit you got to find the right dick that fits as well all right love you experiment explore enjoy find pleasure someone said how do i do call-ins i haven't done call-ins in a while i need to do them it's genuinely my fault i'm just like clocking into work and posting the questionnaire on sundays um and i got a little lazy with it i need to post call-ins and do more

of them because i do miss hearing your guys's voice and talking to you guys but i do call-ins by literally you just submitting a voice memo to my dms um i would appreciate it if you uh told me a little tldr a little you know a little bit about your voicemail before sending it um give it a title perhaps that's what it used to be on the old website i used which went down sad um but it was like here's a caption here's a title and then here's my minute long voice note so if you want to send anything in please do sorry i haven't done that in a while also hello to all of my new listeners um i've been doing some numbers and reaching out to people on instagram apparently the algorithm really picked me up so once you guys are finding this podcast welcome

shout out to you thank you for joining welcome to the smoke sesh hopefully you can have as much fun as my og girlies do as well um i've been doing this for three years which is kind of crazy to think about but i've been having a blast and i hope you can have some fun with me someone said I am dying of a hangover Hannah I never want to drink again dying that's going to be me next weekend honestly listen this past weekend chaos chaos insane high energy mostly in the negatives this next weekend it's going to be the opposite I am calling it now it's going to be high positive energy I will be going out and drinking and having a good time I'm going to a concert on Saturday um with my boyfriend and some of his friends so i'm just gonna go out i'm gonna take some

fucking shots and i'm gonna enjoy my night and let the demons out once again party girl versus healthy girl lifestyle you have to let the demons out once every once in a while or else you're gonna spiral you're gonna spiral into a negative healthy girl you know what i mean i think it's okay to go out and party and have a good time every once in a while but also like i can't do it as much as I used to I can't do those three-day benders so I'm gonna take a day off from work and I'm gonna chill and I'm gonna enjoy my day I'm gonna get to the forest then I'm gonna go to the party and have a good time it's gonna be a good little balance of everything um and I'm very excited it is officially Leo season so I'm trying to really lean into the glamour of things really

lean into the enjoyment of things and really just like elevating myself and my life around me and understanding that I can create anything I want in this life I just have to be the one to take the first step so learn to take the first step with me you know we'll get there together and I'm excited to see where we all grow and go from here but I know big things are in store for you such as they are for me it's going to be an amazing week I'm calling it now today is going to be a restful day it's going to be a good start to the week and then we're just going to do our best from here and really try and enjoy every moment really get into the glamour of it all understand that every second is a reason to celebrate especially because we're alive and

we're here and isn't that so wonderful i love you all though please stay sane in the chaos of it all emotions are a great ally but they are not a good commander please remember that um and take the time to work through them especially when they do get overwhelming it's okay to take that day off it's okay to have a mental health day it's okay to scream and cry and roll around on the floor i think we all need that every once in a while and genuinely if you don't let the demons out whether it's partying that sort of way they're going to take a hold of you so release relinquish let go be reborn step into that open room of possibilities and really just stand strong by yourself understand that emotions can go overwhelming the world can get overwhelming

but we do have one thing and that is ourselves always and some good weed hopefully maybe some good sex as well that's the trifecta add some good food in there oh my god what's better than that anyways i'm gonna go run away into the forest for a little bit but i love you all so much thank you for being here with me thank you for being you stay sexy stay sane stay hot i'll see you all next week I'll see you next time.