Smoke Sesh - bad trips, I’m annoyed, body talks & finding your purpose

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

Happy Tuesday hotties of the world so excited to be back for another booked & busy episode of the podcast. We dive right in to what I’ve been up to and honoring myself after over working. We talk nudes & red flags, acne confidence, emotionally unavailable men, small acts of kindness for the people you love, favorite snacks, planning ahead, I’m annoyed, favorite soju & soju hangovers, aftercare; what is it? Book recs for insane girlies, your body talks! And what it’s saying to you, affection, bad trips aren’t forever! CBD, hustle culture toxicity, making men fall for you, some general advice for all my stressed out girlies, decision making, fear of winter, finding your purpose, thrift 101, I dare you to have fun, I’m lonely, and when they go low, sometimes the bigger person goes lower. Love you all so much this episode was a blast, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did ! See you all next week! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Hotties of the world, my god, welcome back to another amazing episode of Smoke Sash. success i am lots of things a little high so excited to be here a little sleepy i have been in my sleepy girl energy recently i don't know if it's just like the fall weather really kicking in

um or i'm just overworking myself one of the two but the sleepy girl energy has been at all-time high recently. I am doing great. I hope you guys are doing fantastic. I am so happy to be here with another wonderful episode, chaotic episode of the podcast. You know, this show really keeps me on my feet. Keeps me on my toes. Because the things you send in, like, I love how real they are to everybody's situations and how the collective energy is just all kind of so intertwined yet how chaotic everybody's lives are i'm like okay it's not just me thank god thank god it's not just me losing my mind and going insane like we're all doing that and i find comfort in that so welcome back so excited to have you hopefully we can chill out hang out forget about our

problems for the hour hour and a half while we're here because what the fuck else is the point of this podcast you know what i mean have a little laugh smoke a little bit not feel so alone i first question i guess someone asked me how my labor day weekend was i worked all weekend literally friday saturday had sunday off worked actually labor day because the funny thing about labor day is it's a holiday for the working class to finally have a day off yet the people who actually fucking have to work such as like janitors uh service industry people um independent contractors people like that they're gonna be fucking working on labor day like the holiday simply does not apply like the company they need the money you're gonna have to clock in

sorry about it so i served last night um it was a little busy i was like hell yeah i'll take the extra 150 bucks who am i to complain with my shopping addiction i might as well work for it you know um but i took sunday as like a really good rest enjoy my day kind of situation i have such a hard time saying no to things especially when people like to guilt trip me such as my family but all my family was getting together sunday to you know celebrate labor day get together do a little barbecue whatever um my boyfriend's family was doing the same thing and usually i either go to my family's thing or his family's thing or we split time and go to both and my ass simply had to stand up for myself and say you know what family i love you but i do not

have the time or energy to really deal with that right now um and i'm gonna stay inside all day and i'm gonna eat good food and i'm going to scroll on my phone and smoke some weed and take a nap um and have a little rest and relax day and that's exactly what i did and it was so amazing it really was it was exactly what i needed today although i have the day off i'm doing a little bit of work of course hanging out with you guys and then tonight i am going out to lawrence to the little sunflower field and to get dinner and to hang out a bit get out into the country live my country girl midwest princess fantasy you know what i mean what's better than that escape the city for a little bit and that's really all that i'm up to today all that i've been up to it's been

pretty chill pretty exciting little chill time thankfully i survived venus retrograde made it through now Jupiter is in retrograde love that I can handle that but the Venus retrograde was really just I feel like for all of us it was really taking like our inside world because I feel like retrogrades were always expecting outside catastrophe but with Venus retrograde specifically it was like really challenging our inside world and our point of view and making us reevaluate a lot of things which i live for i love overthinking things but also it is such a downfall of mine and i spend way too much time doing it so although i came to some good conclusions i figured some good things out i'm so happy to not be overthinking everything anymore thank god

anyways i know why you're here let's get to it i don't want to waste your time anymore let's dive into all your amazing, wonderful questions. Alrighty, starting strong. Tips for turning down a guy asking for nudes. Are we in seventh grade? Why is a man being like, lol, titty pick question mark? Like, are you 12? What's going on? No, no, you can't have that. And it's weird that you're asking and in fact I'm gonna block you that's kind of how I feel about it like when men are kind of like lol and then being pushy I find that especially being older and when I was younger I used to just think that was like cute and quirky and like oh he's just a guy but no they're like really testing your boundaries by doing that and seeing what they can get away with and how far

they can really go by pushing your boundaries and that shit as soon as i see it that shit don't doesn't fly with me like it grosses me out um and i immediately kind of lose trust especially when they're like lol why you don't want to send me an ass pic like come on girl like imagine how you're in a bedroom with him and he's like oh you don't want to have sex come on because that's honestly the kind of attitude they have and the kind of just openness that they feel that they have towards your body and that shit's gross to me as a woman so if you encounter that and you also find that gross let me tell you this there's nothing wrong with that and in fact that's probably the right inference to have and trust me i'm a fan of a good nude i love a good little titty pic from my own

heart I don't want to be pressured into it I want to be feeling myself you know send a cute little photo and that's the sexiest thing about it is I'm feeling myself and then it's a surprise to them when I feel pressured into that nope no immediate turn off so yeah I would just say red flag if I were you I would just block him and find a man who is respectful towards women's bodies oop dealt with this one before how to not hate yourself because of acne um yeah i spent a lot of my time actually a majority of my time on earth with a lot of acne like i want to say i started getting acne in like third grade um and i still have it to this day wow how lovely for me right like incredible um and the thing with it is nobody is paying as much attention to it

as you yourself are so the issue is not what do other people think of me because honestly who gives a fuck and if you're the kind of person to judge somebody based on acne you're a piece of shit and I don't really want you in my life period or around me if you're gonna judge me on something I literally can't control like you're a weirdo freak for that um so it really just has to do with your relationship with yourself and being kind and compassionate and understanding towards yourself I think the number one thing that really helped me um feel like I was having a better relationship with my acne was it's such a thing that's out your control so when you find a way to kind of make it within your control it's a way easier

thing to process and deal with so for me instead of avoiding it avoiding it picking at my face avoiding it avoiding it i really took a moment to like deep dive into my skin and be like no what kind of skin do i have what does it react to let's try out new face washes let's try out new moisturizers let's really make this thing that used to be a nuisance to me a big part of my self-care routine and a big part of winding down at the end of the night and now like something that i really look forward to every day is doing my four-step skincare routine and using that as a moment to really rest and relax from what i've been through throughout the day um and it stopped being a thing that I felt out of control with and now that I make sure that I'm using products that

are good for my skin and help my acne and really make my face and my back and wherever I get acne better I feel more in control and thus I feel less insecure about it um so yeah I really think instead of avoiding avoiding um really ask yourself how can I take control of the situation and make it better for me understand sometimes there's things that really we have no control of um and that is not your fault and if someone is judging you based on something that you can't control they're a piece of shit and they're not a person that you need to have around you so don't worry about what other people think love you someone said how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man I'm falling girl help so and listen no hate I've been here before which is why I know this

so well and it might come off a little harsh but I want to be real with you the only reason people fall for emotionally unavailable people is because maybe in their past they have a parent or a person that was prevalent in their life that they felt like they were constantly chasing the approval of and they never got it and so they're replicating that within their relationships that's a pretty big common factor within people is oh i had a parent who was emotionally unavailable this is a very familiar situation for me constantly chasing chasing having to prove myself um and I found comfort in it because it is something that I've done so often and so continuing to do it within my interpersonal relationships feels natural and

comfortable even though they're painful that could could be the thing and let me just tell you this that's not healthy okay there's people who want to be there for you and will accept you for who you are and that is what you should be going after not a trauma bond kind of situation you shouldn't have to convince anybody to like you you shouldn't have to you know prove to people that you are worthy of love not only is that just completely draining as a human being but also it's slightly manipulative on your part um especially when people tell you how they feel and maybe it's i don't want to be with you sometimes you just got to accept that and also it's a great fucking distraction it really is like constantly chasing after an emotionally unavailable man you that's

the only thing you're going to be thinking of constantly because like why don't they like me i'm an amazing person why don't they care about me it is something that's going to eat up all your time all of your brain space and that is addicting because you're not going to think about any of your other problems you're going to be so preconceived with this boy and winning him over but that's not healthy and you got to focus on the real world and what's actually in front of you and what is in front of you is a man who simply does not care about you and cares more about themselves and hey is that someone that you really truly want to be around you if it is go for it girl but you are not going to have a great experience go after the people who will

love you and care for you and cherish for you from the beginning okay love you oh cute small acts of kindness you can do for your partner that keep that spark going and this can also be for friendships or interpersonal relationships i love a good surprise i love a good like thoughtful idea thoughtful gift little thing um and there are so many different ways you can honor people in your life like maybe your best friend's favorite thing is the new pumpkin spice latte that's out and you know she loves it and she's been wanting one so you go out on your way home from work and get her one and bring it home for her and surprise her maybe it's oh i'm gonna leave a little handwritten note before my boyfriend goes to work telling him how much i love

him and how proud i am of him so when he wakes up he sees this first thing in the morning um maybe it's oh I know she was thinking about this thing and I know she really wants it so I'm gonna get it for her or maybe you see a tiny little toy figurine that reminds you of them and is super cute so you bring it home maybe it's I know my partner hates cleaning so I'm gonna deep clean the entire house or I know they hate the dishes so I'm gonna do the dishes for them or I know they taking out the trash so i'm gonna take out the trash for them it really is about the little things i don't give a fuck about the big things okay like i don't care about the diamond rings i don't care about the birkin bags like are you gonna take the trash out for me because

you know i hate it and you're gonna do it without me asking like that's truly what i care about and that's the foundation that good relationships are built on whether friendships or um you know romantic relationships it's seeing the other person's needs before they even see it themselves and then selflessly going about doing them because you love them and you're already thinking ahead that's the kind of solid ground that relationships and good relationships are built on my love snack recommendations specifically for a girly trying to gain weight i'm such a snacker i love a good like instead of three meals a day it's like six snacks that's kind of my way of living life and i love it that way um but i love a good chips and guac hummus carrots hummus and pita spicy

hummus is the best um eggs hard-boiled eggs i know that might sound gross to you but i love a good like spicy hard-boiled egg i'll make green beans and dumplings um what else oh apple slices if you're gonna eat apples they better be honey crisp like that is the best type of apple to ever exist and then i'll dip the apples in like yogurt and peanut butter and do some chocolate chips on top that's fucking killer um yeah literally anything i love a good breakfast burrito you guys already know i'll like sometimes pre-make a bunch of breakfast burritos for the week as well so i can just grab them out of the freezer and heat them up um but specifically if you're looking for weight gain protein and fat is what you're gonna be looking for and personally i think like

um guacamole and chips or like a guacamole tostada with some refried beans and some guac on top is like the ultimate best or a cheese quesadilla with some roasted peppers and and guacamole i'm getting hungry this is an issue someone said there's so much going on in my life and i get so overwhelmed how do you manage everything get a calendar get a calendar get like a wherever you sit the most often put a calendar there I don't care if it's like a wall calendar or like one of those big tabletop calendars or it's like your calendar on your computer or your google calendar whatever you know you were gonna look at every single morning and it's kind of like where you study maybe it's like a planner that you open

that is what you need to be using I used to feel like life was coming at me like oh my god I have this thing to do and this thing to do and oh my god i forgot about this thing and i feel so bad because i forgot about this thing girl get a calendar plan your time out you will feel so much better not only should you do a weekly planner but you should also keep up with a monthly planner which i guess is why like a planner booklet is kind of helpful um but i love a good wall calendar where i can see everything going on within my month i'll cross stuff off i'll write new things down I'll plan things accordingly because you'll see the future so it won't life won't feel like it's coming at you you will be able to know what the next thing is that you need to get done so it

feels like you're moving through life instead and also you will feel like you have more time to yourself and more understanding of your time because you'll be able to see all these big picture things that used to give you a lot of anxiety and then see the free time that you have and plan accordingly so it doesn't feel like it's all piling up on you you can evenly space things out um my reset day for me personally is sunday so i will plan my whole week ahead on sundays um and then i will also make sure i'm keeping up with my uh monthly calendar every single day so plan ahead life doesn't have to be scary someone said my boyfriend drinks beer at home and burps and it's gross and I hate it oh yeah the thing about like a significant other is

it really is just like you're gonna see the best and the worst of them um and I guess you have to accept them for both which means you have to accept them for their beer burps but also like if my boyfriend does something that really annoys me I will like grab his face and be like I love you but i can't deal with that shit anymore it is driving me insane here's a kiss let's fix that like i will speak up because it's like i don't want to snap and make it seem like it's almost like random reasons like oh shit why is she coming at me sideways for no reason like no here is why i'm doing this because of the way you're breathing right now um and i love you but i need some space or i need you to stop fucking throwing up out loud because you're drinking beer

illy sometimes you just gotta speak up for yourself i'm also the kind of person who's just like easily annoyed by everything and i hate that about myself like i need to chill the fuck out i really do um and that's why i smoke so much weed and also i'm a sex addict because those are the two things that really chill me the fuck out in alone time like i need alone time if i'm around too many people constantly i'm gonna get so annoyed i have to rest recharge be in my own space um but yeah i really sometimes have to realize that i'm the problem and like people are just being people and they're gonna be that way and i gotta accept them for who they are and love them fully you can't force everybody around you to change because of your attitude

do you know what i mean um and that was something i had to learn when i was younger especially being like the world revolves around me like it does but also like everybody hates that bitch who's like the world revolves around me and you have to act accordingly like bitch you're not the queen like you are yes queen but like not that kind of ruling queen and i'm not gonna put up with that um so yeah as a as a attitude problem girly sometimes of course speaking up for yourself is necessary especially if you feel like you're hitting a point where your brain's gonna split in half but also sometimes you just gotta deep breathe and tell yourself like no you need to be the one to calm down this is a you problem this is something you've got to fix inside yourself

they're just being themselves and that's wonderful and brilliant and beautiful you you need to chill out someone asked what's the best soju flavor as you guys know soju is my favorite way to drink like ever um now that being said it is pretty sugary especially the flavored one so you're gonna have a crazy fucking hangover you need like Advil and water next to your bed but soju is the ultimate way to drink personally I love sharing a little shot with my friends and the best flavor I either they're also good grapefruit is usually what I lean towards I love the grapefruit soju grapefruit or plum if you want something sweeter or the green grape the green grape is all also

killer and crisp the only one i hate is the strawberry the strawberry one is fucking nasty it tastes like like you know that fake strawberry flavor like usually strawberry like fake strawberry things are good but you know the bad chemically fake strawberry flavor that's what strawberry soju tastes like i've been hunting for a lychee one um but i have yet to find it but my top one is for sure grapefruit i can't believe we've never talked about this before someone asked um what's aftercare and how do i do it and literally i started recording this and then my brain went blank because i was like how the fuck do i describe it so here's like the actual definition um at its most basic aftercare is a post-play check-in between partners during aftercare

partners give time and attention to each other to wrap up the scene and make sure everyone is feeling safe and comfortable that is aftercare so there's like foreplay which is like not pnv or no really crazy like big sexual things happening just diving into or dipping our toes into sex like kissing touching things like that getting hot and heavy and then you have sex and then the most important thing in my opinion is you have aftercare which just shows your partner that you're not taking taking advantage of them or just taking advantage of the situation sexually like you care about them as a partner you want to make sure the situation was good for both of you you want to spend some time cuddling and resting and relaxing afterwards whether it takes an hour

two hours a couple of days whatever that looks like for you i think it's a big important part um of a post-sex routine you know like okay you finish you know they take they clean you up you clean up and then instead of someone just getting up and going home which shows oh this was only like sexually beneficial for you and then you want to leave it's like a no let's take a pause and a break after this to make sure that we're both okay that um we both have been taken care of afterwards um and we've had a moment to chill and rest and relax together you know because it is a very big bonding experience um and i feel like a lot of men especially growing up within the porn age and women too let's be honest um you know you are watching something and then you're

getting off and then especially growing up in the abstinence age as well you feel shameful after that act so then you get up you clean up and then you move on with your day very quickly forget about it and i feel like that's also translated to sex for a lot of people where it's like okay we fuck and then it's like okay we're done i'm cleaning up and i'm getting out of here which can be hurtful to the partners it's like oh you really only cared about the sex now you want to get out of here and like if that's the vibe that's the relationship you want to build cool i do think you know friends with benefits situationships whatever it may be should still have the aftercare part even though it is just a sexually based um relationship so that sexually

based relationship can stay positive and can stay healthy and to make sure that both partners are loved and cared for in that sort of way you know what i mean so don't be afraid to cuddle afterwards i guess that's the main point of this rant um but yeah i do think aftercare is important and a lot of times overlooked by some people especially if they have some sexual trauma um and if you do have sexual trauma i think it is a very important part of the sexual experience um especially for me personally it's always just come very natural like of course i want to cuddle up and chill after we fuck like maybe even take a nap like let's be real um i'm not the kind of girl who's like okay bye you know so it's important look for it cherish it within a partner someone

asked book recommendations for insane girlies um right now i'm reading let me grab it i am reading the secret history by donna tart it's crazy chaotic and if you like greek mythology and like crazy college students and weird rituals this is the book for you um i read it in high school and loved it so i was just picking it back up to read again because i've been craving some just like dark chaotic energy i feel like it's the perfect fall book but also i really recommend you guys learning and getting into female authors who write short stories or who write novels because they write some crazy shit especially like eve babbitts i've talked about her before she has a couple novels full of short stories about her life in LA and just being like an it girl in LA

and seeing all the darkness and chaos that goes on around the it people um I loved it it was very chaotic all about her escapades of love and sex and affairs and being around people who like fell from grace um and finding love and joy in the mundane so eve babbitts will always be an author that i recommend to honestly anybody um and if you're gonna pick up any one of her books i really recommend what is it called black swan stories by eve babbitts that's a great one to start um but yeah oh and you know what else the girls by emma klein that's a good one another chaotic insane girl cult sexy fun love it I actually really like this question someone said how to kiss someone or how to show affection I want to but I just never do it so with me personally

I didn't grow up with a lot of affection or I also felt like kind of uncomfortable by it don't know why I'm just like an awkward girly. I can't help it. But I found within my interpersonal relationships and looking back at previous relationships, when I truly felt in love, connected, drawn to somebody, I did not have to force myself to be affectionate or to be touchy or to be whatever it naturally came which was odd for me because I'm not that kind of person but it's like you were so drawn to this person and so in love and so into them that you are naturally affectionate and let me tell you this I've also had boyfriends in the past who I did not feel that way towards and now being in a relationship with somebody where I am that way

and they're that way towards me I'm kind of realizing full circle like oh I might have not actually like those people in the past and I should have just listened to the way my body reacted to them your body will tell you more than your mind ever will if you feel like you know taking a step away for somebody or they touch you and you're not feeling it you don't like it or you don't even want to touch them that says way more than your brain ever is going to say because even though if your brain is infatuated with them like you're stuck in a weird toxic cycle if your body is physically like moving away from that person that says more than i ever could and really shows hey maybe you shouldn't be around this person um your body has funny ways of telling you things

like i'll be with a man and he is so toxic for me that i will break out into hives and get acne and that's literally my body being like hey girl not the right person for you like not good for you um women will get like bv or um you know they're like their little pussy will freak out over men if you know it's not a good person for you to be around it's happened to me listen to your body your body knows what's up but also being a very unaffectionate girly i have found that when i am around the right people or people who are good for me um or people that i genuinely feel attracted to I don't have to force the affection it just naturally comes from me and that says more than anything my brain could ever tell me so listen to your body hi Hannah hi podcast my

question is about long-term recovery from a really bad mushroom trip so I took mushrooms about a year ago for like the third time and I had a really bad time um lots of dark thoughts paranoia realize that is not the drug for me uh anyways it created this new fear of mine of being perceived by the world um and it gave me a lot of social anxiety and online anxiety so I ended up deleting my social media for a bit but now that I'm back I'm just trying to navigate the world and I'm still experiencing a lot of that anxiety still um it's getting better but I was just wondering if you had experiences like this before or if you had any tips tricks ideas on how to combat those thoughts anyways love you bye I would absolutely love to answer this question

because although I talk about the positives of you know weed and psychedelics and my different experiences and lol laugh funny stories there are some scarier experiences that I've had and yes I have dealt with moments like this and having bad trips especially and first things first you're not alone everybody who dabbles in these is going to experience either a moment a bad moment a bad trip whatever it may be so understand that's just a part of the territory when it comes to these kind of drugs and psychoactive drugs um there's something wrong with you for having experienced these things and there's a lot you can learn from them um I completely feel you on the heightened fear, heightened anxiety, especially over social

situations following a bad trip because these trips and especially bad trips, they have a way of meshing your outside world and your inner world so closely that you can kind of see and understand things better, but also things that make you uncomfortable might make you extra uncomfortable and you notice these things you take note of them and then when you exit the trip you are still kind of seeing these things and seeing the world around you for how it was during this trip but let me tell you this and I hope you can find comfort in this um these unpleasant emotions there's not a cause of why you're feeling these but there is a solution and it is to let go of the fear and to I know it sounds so dumb and to let go of the anxiety that

you felt then because um it's temporary and it's a part of you but it's not you does that make sense like these were thoughts and feelings that you felt and you do feel and you know they are a part of you in a sense but they do not define you it's the same way that we can feel a negative emotion within the real world outside of a psychoactive trip just like you know have a bad experience and be like damn that was shitty this sucks I am looking at the world differently now and we can either a take that experience for what it was learn from it and why we feel this way and what causes those things and how we can do better to not feel this way or we can continue living in that perpetual fear, living in that perpetual anxiety.

So a great example for this and how to handle this for me personally outside of a bad trip is like, okay, so I was driving my car one day and I got into a really bad car accident and I get out of the car and you know time goes by a week a couple weeks and I gotta drive again now I can drive and the whole time I could drive thinking oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna get into another car crash this is awful I'm terrified I'm scared I'm gonna get into another car crash I can get into another car crash like hyping myself overthinking um really just getting in a perpetual state of anxious thought I could do that to myself or I could sit back look at the picture as a whole and be like wow there is nothing I could have done to not get into this car accident

it was completely out of my control sometimes life is just that way and all I can really do from this moment is of course understand that this is a possibility in the future take more precautions when driving but really at the end of the day since it was so chaotic and random the only thing I can do right now is my best getting to point from point a to point b and to be kind to myself during that drive and to not stress myself out any more than I have that's what I mean by letting go I feel like a lot of the spiritual gurus on here are like you just gotta let it go girl and it's like great love that if only I didn't have crazy spiraling thoughts and it's like yes everybody's gonna have crazy spiraling thoughts it's what we do with them

and how we let them interact with our daily lives are we going to let them control us or are we going to do what we can with these and make the best situation possible and it is harder especially with bad trips because they are so intense but also understand that experience and those feelings were completely trip related which is temporary it is you are not going to be tripping forever you're not going to be in a perpetual state of you know psychoactive enhancements so allow yourself to be in the real world don't hype yourself up for bad things and spiral yourself if you can stop that train of thought where you are by redirecting it into a more positive light that always helps um but yeah it's mental it's temporary and it's part of you

but it's not you you are not your thoughts emotions and experiences they are an object of your consciousness they are a reflection of your mind and they are trying to show you something about yourself sit breathe listen observe and let it flow over and past you someone asked have you tried the paz packs martian candy cart i'm interested to try uh no i have not but that sounds actually delicious that sounds so yummy um i'm gonna be online shopping directly after i record this love past packs the only um let me actually go grab my cart i take my cart with me to work um if my employers are listening to this it's a cbd cart chill out um but i was smoking on the la orange and the um maui waui and i loved the maui waui

um it's more of a daytime one but the carts are perfect i love the carts especially like when i just need a quick little puff to chill myself out or maybe i'm getting a little too much anxiety um I like to hit those and as somebody who also goes into the thrift store and hits my cart like an actual cart and completely dissociates and spends way too much money switching to CBD before doing those thrift shops it gives me the or thrift trips it gives me the same chilled out vibe without like the mindlessness like I need my mind sharp when I'm thrifting so martian candy uh sold really recommend oh and you can use code smoke sesh for 10 off love you someone asked do you think overworking can be toxic and hustle culture

in general yes it is extremely toxic and i think that's why most men hate the world hate themselves and hate women because they're forced into and a lot of us i mean just living in a capitalist society are forced into that hustle culture girl you gotta grind for your money and if you're not working hard then you're a piece of shit and it's like but maybe i need a bubble bath and a break and to not focus on money for just one moment in my life so yeah i do think hustle culture is very toxic i mean i i love to hustle but it is a good balance that you have to find within your life of i go to work i work hard i get my shit done and as soon as i step outside of work i am out of work and i really don't think about it and i'm gonna focus on me and me time and the

other things that bring me light and joy in my life you know what i mean um but yeah if you find yourself succumbing to hustle culture and you feel like you're overworking yourself and you are burning out that is you know not sustainable you can't overwork yourself because then you're going to have a major men tb trust me i have been there so many times and it's going to take you two times as long to recover than if you just took a moment to take a break to take a breather to treat yourself when you feel that feeling initially and this is your sign also that it is okay to step away from your work um but my parents are both teachers so growing up like they never left work they woke up they went to work all day and they usually had clubs that they worked at after school

and then they came home until they went to sleep they were cutting out lamination they were grading papers they were planning things for the next day like they never left work and although that can be a very passionate thing and you can find a lot of joy and a lot of prosperity in that and that is good and that's amazing and if you do find that within a job throw yourself into it I do wish they maybe took more time to just like chill and to take a day and they're better at that now that they're older like setting boundaries but it is hard when you find yourself deep deep into that work mindset i'm the kind of person where it's like i'm gonna work hard until i need a break and then i'm gonna allow myself a break and i feel like that is the perfect way to approach life

life is not all about money it's not all about your job okay there's more to life than that and if you succumb your life to only those two things you might be a little miserable someone asked how to make men fall at your feet you don't give a fuck about them that's that's how you do it there is no oh you gotta do your hair this way you're gonna wear this certain thing or you gotta play this little mind trick oh my god my for you page is full of the quote-unquote like triangle effect of like looking at their eyes and looking down at their lips and looking back up at their eyes like no you will never trick a man into loving you and if you have to do that that's messed up and weird literally the less you care about them the more they're gonna like you and that's kind

of crazy for me to say and I'm not saying like be rude or be mean or whatever but it's just like don't base your life on them I feel like men really fall hard for women who are completely and utterly focused on themselves focus on what what they want and don't take anything less than what they deserve that is what's going to make specifically the right man fall on their knees in front of you the weak men the lamos the ones you need to not be around will see a strong independent woman and will try and take her down will try and make you feel bad about that will belittle you in any way that they can those are the weakest men around so be you be strong fucking go after everything you fucking want don't let a man get in the way of the world

or get in the way of you in the world and everything that you deserve and the right man will see that and will want to give you everything in return and if a man is seeing that and they are feeling insecure from that that's because they're lame and insecure about themselves and you don't need to be around that i'm noticing a lot of my college and non-college girlies are going through it right now whether it's like oh my god how do i study i'm being overwhelmed i'm scared of the future i feel like i'm falling behind i feel like i'm not on the right path let me just let me give some general calling to the collective advice for you all you are on the right path you are sometimes the right path is not going to be easy

sometimes it's going to be challenging that does not mean you are on the wrong path the best things are the ones you have to work hard for so work hard do your best and your truthful honest best that you can do remember to take breaks when you need remember to find joy in the small things don't be afraid to have a little bit of fun too much fun not always healthy you might get a little too distracted never get distracted from your goals always make sure you have a planner at hand a calendar at hand so you feel like you are working with life not against it so you are always up to date on everything that you need to do plan for the future a little bit dare to dream find solace with others who are maybe going through the same things um and let your emotions

out when you feel like you need a good cry let that shit out when you feel like you need to go out and have some fun go do that when you feel like you maybe just need an evening in to chill treat yourself all you can really do in this life is the best that you can do so do that show up for yourself show up for the people around you dare to dream everything will work out you are on the right path nothing good ever comes easy unfortunately I wish it did my god it never does your professors the people around you your life is going to force you to work but if you work hard the universe will reward you tenfold so trust in that invest in yourself with this time invest in your future you got this i believe in you and no matter what you

will get through it i promise you i love you you guys have to be stopping so hard on yourself for real everybody out there is just trying their best that's really all you can do hi hannah first of all i love you i love the podcast um i just wanted to ask i hate deciding when i'm high i happen to be high right now by the way and i wanted to ask like how can i change that because i i really hate deciding stuff and making choices and i do be high a lot lately since i'm on school break right now and i can indulge in in this feeling a little bit more so yeah that will be my question thank you so much for answering i love you you seem so high such a vibe um so i also hate deciding things i hate being the person to choose i really do i'm also kind

of a control freak so like i know what i want in my brain but it's like this weird gate in front of it that's like i you know what you want but i'm not gonna let you make the decision like brains are so silly and weird like that why are you making things so complicated so best thing you can do is literally take a coin and flip it straight up have some other um force of nature decide what to do that isn't another person that isn't another whatever random number generator a coin a dice you know and have it decide what you want to do so like maybe one side is like pizza and the other side is pasta and you got to flip it to choose what munchie you're gonna eat the best thing about this is when you flip the coin to make your decision it's going to land on one

of the two pizza or pasta and when it lands on say pizza and you know deep down inside you actually wanted pasta you're gonna feel that truth when it lands on pizza am i high right now does this make any sort of sense like when you flip the coin and it lands on the choice that you actually don't want that gate that's in front of the feeling of what you truly do want will open and you'll know the truth you'll be like kind of disappointed like oh you know i wanted the other thing but it had to decide for you so when you feel that and you're like you know what maybe it landed on the right side i feel good about this let's go do it boom choice has been made um and if it lands on the side that you know you didn't want and you're like oh i'm kind of disappointed about that

you can feel that and then also know which decision was correct and make that decision instead like you don't have to actually do what the coin tells you it'll just really help you figure out your emotions and process them quickly and faster than you ever possibly could i really hope that made sense love you all right someone said how much of your paycheck do you typically save as much as i can which is usually not a lot but really i just do the best i can honestly you know what has really helped me the most especially this month is and we still have plenty of time in the month to do this like we're still at the beginning of september i looked back at August and what I made and most importantly what I spent okay and how much of that was spent

on things that I didn't need and how much those things that I spent on things that I do need such as like gas and groceries and then I created a budget for myself um and basically the budget wasn't oh my rent and my bills and my gas and whatever like those are already I have money already allocated to those. So I'm not going to pay attention to those because I know I got to pay those and I have the money to pay those. I'm going to focus on what I'm overspending on and what is actually like dipping into my savings and then giving myself a weekly allowance of what I'm allowed to spend. And these are things such as like online shopping, things for my house, thrifting, coffee going out to lunch dates uh getting drinks with friends any of those things where it's like

randomly spending money here and there that's what my allowance goes towards and this really helps me keep from over shopping and helps me build my savings a little bit so it's not about how much you can save it's more so about how much you're spending and how to cut back on that really um and yeah I gave myself just like a little weekly allowance and I'm allowed to spend that allowance no more if I have some left over then I can put it towards the next week um but it really helps me stay on track with my spending oh my god this is so cute my bestie showed me your pod and now all we do together is re-listen to old pods oh I love you shout out to your bestie she's a real one for showing for introducing us like come on love making new friends love having new people

to chit chat with here on the pod um i love building this community it is so fun oh my god fear of winter tips i'm feeling it i cannot wait until one day you la bitches are so goddamn lucky and you don't even know it i can't wait until one day i just live somewhere that it's 70 70 degrees and sunny like basically year round oh that is the true true dream like winter depression don't know her guess what i can go outside during the from like december to march wow love that i wish but no i think it really teaches me especially living in a state where we get so much snow and it's a pretty long winter to be grateful for the time that we do have when it's really nice out and to take advantage of that um but i've done my time you know what i mean i am over winter

so here's some things that i'm really just prepping for as i'm like watching leaves fall to the ground we still have time for summer you know like summer's not completely over we're not in fall quite yet we haven't had our fall equinox yet we have time there is time so take advantage of the time that we do have left you know like i'm going to the sunflower fields i'm going to get out into nature and take some photos i'm gonna you know go to the pumpkin patch i'm gonna bake home goods and share them with my friends like i'm gonna do fun fall things i'm going to the haunted houses i'm gonna get outside as much as i can and enjoy this pretty nature and weather while we have it you know what i mean number two is i'm also prepping my living space

I have found myself in many a times falling into winter where you can only spend time indoors and looking around and being like wow I you know hate my house because I never spend any time here um so I'm really trying to make sure I put like my own little touches on it make sure I'm completely comfortable in my own space make sure I have a space that I feel safe and warm and also having a lot of plants helps it's like um i am also enjoying nature and the outdoors while inside fantastic pothos plants monsters whatever i can get my hands on any sort of greenery that i can grow around me love that also in the winter keep your windows open not your windows your like blinds your shutters make sure you get as much sunlight as you possibly can and try and make

sure even like in the summer I try to do this I don't really sleep with my blinds closed because I found waking up with the sun really helps me get into a natural groove and a natural cycle of my everyday routine so making sure I can get as much sunlight as I can and waking up with the sun is really nice if you need one of those happy lights you can get those as well I found you know the happy lights that they have like depression they're like 90 bucks what the fuck like are you kidding me you're just profiting off of depression at that point because it is just a glorified ring light buy a ring light turn it on like the warm setting it's basically a happy light love it um what else feeling comfortable in my own space taking advantage of the time that we have

plants sunlight trying to get around those as much as possible this is also a great time to start looking at different hobbies that you can possibly do um asking yourself like what are some new things that i want to try and get into maybe it's reading maybe it's crocheting maybe it's taking a new workout class um going to yoga maybe it's whatever it is have something to look forward to do whether it's in a different building or in your own um it's a hobby that you can do from your couch or from your living room uh make sure you have something to look forward to this winter and something that you can easily pick up whenever you need a distraction and it helps you kind of leave the current place you're in books wonderful that for that as well um great thing to pick up

on before the winter hits but yeah i think the biggest thing that i'm really doing right now is just taking advantage of the world around me not advantage of but really just trying to not neglect the time that we have left and enjoying every bit of it that i can how do i find my purpose illy love you too um so here's the thing my purpose right now is to start thinking towards the future dreaming try new things and try and find a new avenue to put myself in or to work towards setting new goals that's me personally maybe your purpose right now is college and finishing school and getting through the school year maybe your purpose right now is to rest and relax and take a break from whatever you were doing that wasn't good for you

and realigning yourself to the world around you maybe your purpose right now is looking at different careers and finding a new one that maybe challenges you a bit more or is a little bit better or just simply a change maybe your purpose right now is to pack up everything and move but do you see how none of the purposes that I'm mentioning are like artiste, car salesman, doctor, nurse? They're not professions, okay? And maybe your purpose is, you know, one of those routes, but I think we put way too much emphasis on the future ahead, and it stresses out a lot of us because we're not going to know that future for 30, 40 years, and in turn, we already feel behind because we don't know what it is and we as humans really love knowing things and when we

don't know things it freaks us out so stop putting so much pressure on trying to guess the future when you can simply find your purpose in the now okay like you don't have to know where you're going to be 30 40 50 years from now if you know amazing wonderful if you don't know that's okay a majority of us don't and the people who do know it's probably going to change so the best thing that you can do for yourself in 30 40 years to make sure you are in a secure place a place where you feel comfortable where you feel honored where you feel safe um is really to just find purpose and the best purpose for yourself in the now in what you are doing right now where you are so maybe that's school maybe that is you know finishing this class maybe it's trying a new job

maybe it's moving maybe it's simply focusing on yourself and the health of yourself whatever it may be your purpose is what's going on right now around you so stop living so far in the future and focus on where you are now and ask yourself where do I want to be and what can I do right now to get there what is the best thing for me to focus on right now to get there okay you will get there it's a step by step by step by step occasion because my purpose at 18 is not my purpose now my purpose at 20 is not my purpose now they're phases that you kind of grow through and you will change based on when that change needs to occur but you'll never be able to guess what it is until you simply just put one foot in front of the other and focus on what you need to accomplish

in this present moment i've had some really good luck with the thrift stores recently like i've banned myself from the thrift store because the past two times i've spent like 80 plus dollars there which is really rare for me like usually i go in and i find maybe one or two things um and someone asked girl how do you find these stunning thrift goodies illy love you i love how you all end your questions with I love you because I do love you thank you and I feel like I have to say it back every single time um but I have found through my various various years of thrifting like the perfect recipe to getting the best thrift finds and here's what it is so first of all you are not going to want to go to a heavily trafficked thrift store such as oh my god there's

a ton of people in this thrift store all the time like you don't want to go to the big city thrift store you want to go out to a heavily populated suburban area okay i'm talking neighborhood on neighborhood on neighborhood on neighborhood but all of these people are like middle upper class so they don't thrift themselves and when they do thrift they don't really know what they're looking for they're looking for furniture um those are the thrift stores you want to go to when you can't find anything or they're picked over you know those are just popular thrift stores they're busy there's more people in the area there's more people thrifting in the area some people who need to go there that's fine that's amazing um you're gonna have to hunt a little bit harder

so for me i don't mind making the drive if i'm gonna find some more goodies now always sign up for their like little discount code um it'll take your phone number and you'll earn points every single time you go but this has made some of my hundred dollar purchases 20 off or 30 off or 40 percent off so always when they ask for your phone number they're only gonna text you when they have like new drops coming out and they're only gonna text you when they have new sales coming out so they won't text you all the time you can opt out of text and then still when you put your phone number in at the end of your checkout you will receive like 20 30 40 percent off it's amazing you have to do it the peak days to go to the thrift store are not on the weekends

they're not on a monday it is tuesday wednesday thursday from the hours of when they open till like one by like 12 one all the people who are going to thrift and find all the good things I've usually been there and found everything they possibly could no no I'm not saying don't go after one like of course they're continuously putting things out but I've had my best luck early morning caffeinated a little high headphones in with music fantastic just zone in have no other plans afterwards so you can just spend time in there looking around and have fun we can't try clothes on or else I would that would probably save me a lot of money because a lot of times I come home and I'm like wow this really doesn't fit I don't know what I was thinking at all

um I wish we could try clothes on but after COVID all of our thrift stores just never opened their dressing rooms back on so sometimes I'll wear like a romper um or something skin tight like a tank top and shorts so if I do want to try things on because they're gonna let you try things on its door they don't really care I can just throw it on over um whatever I'm wearing and then just like stand in front of a mirror and look at it but try and go to the suburban thrift stores even if it's a little bit of a drive and Tuesday to Thursday from opening till one those three things in combination I feel like you're bound to find something hi Hannah um I hope that all this makes sense I just took a huge dab so please forgive me

um but I feel like I'm like living on survival mode and I take life so serious these days it's been like the last like couple years I think but um I don't know like I used to like I love fashion I love art I love music I used to be so creative um I love thrifting I used to just like put together cute outfits and like express myself you know and I just like I just don't get excited about things like I used to and I don't know why and I just can't stop um so I don't know do you have any advice like how to not take things so seriously and like find like my creative side again thank you I love you love you girl people like you I have friends like you who are very like like oh they're amazing they're so much fun but you kind of have to like

push them out of their shell a little bit to have fun like love you I know that you are a blast that you love to have fun there's so many fun things that you do but I'm the kind of person who has to like show up at their doorstep and be like knocking on their door like bitch come out come on like let's go and sometimes you just gotta force yourself to have fun you know what you like you literally just told me you like to you like to dress up you like to thrift you did art you did all these different things you can still do them you can do them and the thing is when you're trying to do a something that you used to do back in the day and found very easy and natural and you're trying to pick it back up again it's not gonna feel easy and natural anymore so don't let

that deter you it's gonna take a little bit more practice but it's fun to kind of get back into it and in a sense you're kind of honoring your inner teen your inner child by doing these things that brought you joy when you were younger such as doing some art or hanging out with yourself or listen to old music that you used to listen to or putting together fun little outfits like it is that simple you will find joy within the act you kind of just have to force yourself to seek joy and to have fun literally if i could sit on my couch all day and do absolutely nothing i would but i have to force myself to get up and to find new things to do and to try new things and to not be so miserable because once again if i could sit here all day i would but i know

that's not healthy so seek joy have fun it's gonna feel a little forceful at first because it's gonna be a new routine you're gonna be challenging yourself a little bit but that doesn't mean it's bad for you or you're not good at it or you're not gonna become good at it you got this you're amazing that girl that you're seeking for is still in there you gotta set her free someone said it gets better in all caps um just wanted to say that to all my girlies love you thank you i feel like a lot of you guys did need to hear that no matter how stressed you are or how down bad you are it's probably the lowest you'll go so there's only up from here babe i promise everything will get better even if you feel so incredibly hopeless literally i have been

at so many low points you always bounce back you always do i love that i can rely on that with myself because even if i'm like in like the worst possible place ever in life i'm like wow girl this is a new low what the fuck i still after going through all these trial and tribulations now i can look at this and be like you know what i might be in a bad place but also that just means things are gonna get way better after this you know like we can only go up from here girl someone said did you ever feel lonely during your time at college yes i did and also little secret here everybody feels lonely i don't care how many party pics they post i don't care how many friends they have i simply don't care when they're alone in that communal shower wearing

those little Camino shower flip-flops they're lonely everybody is you were literally like picked up by your hair and transplanted into a new environment that is completely thriving but you're not because it's new that's okay that's normal it's a part of adjusting you will adjust you will get there you will make friends um you will find comfort and find a new home in this place that you are but I've had my moments literally one day I was laying in my bunk bed at like 3 a.m listening to a song that me and my mom used to listen to and my ass got up packed a bag got my car and drove three hours home and when she woke up I was like why are you here I was like I missed you and like that was a cute little moment but also it's like sometimes you need

that sometimes you need to just like take a moment but also she was like girl you can call me like it's okay like it's okay to feel these things you don't need to hold them in to the point where you got to drive home at 3 a.m like just call me and say what you're feeling and you'd be surprised how many people are feeling the exact same way how many people um are going through the same thing it's everybody's going through it you're not alone everybody else is only and I know this because I also got like 20 of these questions so put yourself out there don't take things too seriously don't be too hard on yourself don't be afraid to meet new people and hang out with new people you will find you know your chosen family it will take time

you will get there and I love you don't be too hard on yourself okay evil ex-boyfriend is harassing me after I've blocked him what do I do I would tell him I'm gonna report him to the police like I just can't hold back at some points you know what I mean like if you give them a moment to grow and change you're like hey I don't want to speak to you I want to be alone I don't want you to be a part of my life and they continuously break your boundaries and break your boundaries and break your boundaries okay well now it's time for me to legally break your boundaries and physically remove you from my life forever via court order documents and you know who brought that upon themselves they did for harassing you for real like sometimes girl you just gotta stand

up for yourself and be like if you don't stop texting me i will get the police involved straight up like they go low i go lower low-key like i'm the i'm the bigger person by going lower sometimes sometimes you just gotta do that anyways i love you all so very much thank you for being here with me thank you for being you i love doing this podcast every week it really brings me so much joy i hope i was able to answer most of the collective questions ease some anxieties tell you that it's all going to be okay because i think that's what most of you guys needed to hear um but yeah this has been a blast smoke a little bowl for me actually best thing you can do is to honor yourself in some sort of way today whether it's a much needed break maybe it's a good meal

maybe it's drinks with friends maybe it's a bowl whatever it is treat yourself a little today in honor of me love you guys i will see you all next week um if you want to catch up on anything i'm doing you can follow me on instagram at hannah marlene if you want to watch any vlogs fun little text articles different things that i come out with that's on my patreon really my patreon is under hannah marlene as well it's in my instagram bio either way have a great weekend and i will see you all next week