Smoke Sesh - being your own worst hater, porn, aging & the crazier the better

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

Happy Tuesday! Today we talk Mercury retrograde updates, eclipse season homework, handling change & hard situations as well as being open to it, the crazier the better and protecting and standing up for yourself, aging and peaking, accepting womanhood and leaving behind the teenage desire, and porn and how harmful porn addiction is, bad sex and how to stop accepting the love we think we deserve, and stop settling. Eclipse season is all about doing the hard work & looking inward and we absolutely do that on todays podcast, if you have any questions for Thursday please send them to @ hannahmarlene and I’ll see you Thursday for another episode MUAH !

good morning everybody oh my god okay welcome back welcome back lovely to have you i'm so excited to be here um let's address the elephant in the room before i burst into tears is anybody else just getting their shit rocked by mercury retrograde because i am i i am i don't have any dreams I don't dream that's just like a thing I I don't remember dreaming since high school simply because you know as you as you all know I participate in the marijuana I participate in the weeds and that kind of has its own effect on your sleep cycles and usually if you smoke right before you sleep um you're not going to hit those deep sleep cycles where you are going to hit REM sleep and dream okay keep that in mind so i haven't had dreams for like what four years bitch these

dreams have been psychotic psychotic i had one night of peace on the full uh blood moon but that's it everything else every last night the night before well the night before that just like the most insane vivid dreams now here's the thing i remember them as soon as i wake up as soon as I stand up like 10 seconds later I have forgotten it all other than the overwhelming like fear and dread that I had during that dream that sticks with me so that has been my subconscious has been rocking me as well as my general consciousness there's a lot of like heightened anxiety in the air there's a lot of heightened confusion in the air um I think that has mostly to do with the full moon honestly um but i just have been having some crazy days i went

into work this weekend to serve and like i just there was it was already a hard day to begin with and then it just got harder and i started crying naturally as one does at work i really haven't how to like break down break down at work so this is my first one thank god usually I can like you know pull myself together tell myself it's not that deep and move on but holy shit I was just like fucking over it I went to the walk-in to like just kind of shed some tears in private you know hope that the uh air conditioning in there and the freezing air would just like dry my tears but it's like you know when you get to that point of crying where you're like trying to hold it back and somehow like holding it back is making it even worse yeah it was one of those where I was

like girl pull it together but the tears would not stop and I had tables out on the floor that I was supposed to be helping so like oh oh my god I'm like going out there I'm serving these tables while I'm like sobbing I'm like I'm so sorry it's just been a rough day they're like are you okay I'm like yeah it's fine it's fine I'm good I'm like okay obviously I'm not good you know my tables were like eating or something so I was like I'm just gonna go outside you know out back and do my business out there I'm gonna just sob out there get it over with hopefully recoup and be able to um come back inside and have a good night you know what I mean no I get outside I'm like crying to the point that like snot's coming out like I am just like I needed to release it

because holding it in was not good for me I'm sobbing I'm crying and I hear music and I'm like what's going on I look over there is a whole open mic night going on at the coffee shop next door and they had all their doors open all their windows open their whole patio open so these 50 plus people there for the open mic night was like applauding this man who was having like a guitar solo and side-eyeing me at the same time like yay clap clap clap um like and then like looking at me like is she okay so i was like oh i'm obviously interrupting something here super embarrassing i'm gonna walk away where these people can't see me so i'm like okay i'm gonna just go behind the corner right like i'll just put myself behind the corner that's fine whatever

so I walk and I'm just like sobbing and I'm just like I have my head in my hands and I and it's like three minutes later and I hear oh my god are you okay I look over it's this lady like holding a baby she's like are you are you okay can I pray for you which is like not what I want to hear I'm not religious praying in my eyes does nothing for me so but i didn't want to be rude because this lady seemed so concerned about me and i was like i know this is gonna make you feel good so like at first i was like no and then i was like you know what yeah if you want to pray for me go ahead she's like what's your name i was like hannah and she was like god i know that you know you you give your toughest battles to the greatest warriors

and hannah will get through this and i'm just like crying and sobbing and she eventually like finishes praying for me and leaves and I'm like oh my god okay we're just not this is just not gonna get better like it's simply not like this is just a downfall of my evening I need to go home and finally my manager finds me and she's like what happened are you okay and I was like no I just need to leave like straight up I just need to leave and so she was like okay and got my shit for me got me my money and I got out I was like thank god but that was a night I didn't stop crying until 11 o'clock at night i spent a full six hours of what should have been my shift just sobbing i went home and sobbed some more i was crying so hard i i really don't cry too often

um i mean i do cry occasionally but not like the full mental breakdown crying like you know like like sobbing like tears and snot and drool kind of crying i was crying so hard i had such a migraine that I couldn't eat either so it was just like no winning for Hannah that night none whatsoever so um yeah I just went to bed hope that the next day would be better you know we're on the come up things are relatively good now I'm feeling I'm feeling good but I truly am feeling the chaos that is in the air right now the true and utter chaos that is happening and I know some of you guys are feeling it too because on my instagram oh my god sorry the hiccups on my instagram i just i put up like a little like on the full moon me and my boyfriend went to the park and he skated

and i just sat outside and journaled because i really needed to do that and just be outside be out of the confines of my walls um and i put on my instagram and it was like tips for man or for mercury retrograde and for the full moon and things that i'm hearing now and i got a lot of positive response or responses back and what did i say i got a lot of positive responses back just people being like felt i'm going through it too only the hottest girls cry in the walk-in like vibes we'll get through together and i was like thank god like i love that I've built this little community together that, you know, we can support each other and uplift each other even in the most vulnerable times, even in the times where like I'm ugly

sobbing, even in the times where, you know, things are going good. We all have each other's backs and we're all supportive. And I love that. I love this little safe space that we've created. I love the honesty and openness and how fun this is so once again i just am so thankful for you guys and this opportunity you give me and i'm thankful for you guys joining me every fucking week two times a week which is crazy um for our lovely podcast our lovely smoke sesh our lovely get together of the girls and the gays i'm not sure if any straight men listen to this but if you do let me know because that would be an interesting i that would be interesting every time my boyfriend listens to this he's like it's not even that interesting i'm like yeah so i'm not making it

for you like what like he doesn't say that to shit on me it's just like obviously like my demographic is not straight men simply because they're like guns beer in america and i'm like anti all of that so of course it's not content for them but i make it content for you guys and i'm glad that it's reached the right audience and i'm glad that it's brought you guys to me um because everybody that i've interacted with everybody who comes up to me in person which happened yesterday which is incredible everybody who dms me everybody who sends in a question you guys are incredible and wonderful and so lovely and so sweet and i'm so thankful to get to experience this life on earth at the same time you guys are so with that how are you all feeling how are we doing are we are

we making it are you guys making it it's okay if you have to cry you have to cry um i think that's what i've learned so far in mercury retrograde just let it out let it go okay things might seem like they're not working um but the best you can really do is what you can do in that situation which is sometimes just picking yourself and picking what's best for yourself so i love you i hope you're staying safe um if you want to give me updates if you guys have any crazy stories about your micro retrograde experiences let me know i'm really curious if anybody is as chaotic as i am right now because there's just something in the air oh my gosh i also want to talk just like a little bit of safety for my girlies okay because we've been having some incidents

um around where I work where how do I put this well I showed up to work and there were like five cop cars circling the block and I was like what is going on like consistently and constantly like every 20 minutes there was another cop car circling the block I was like what happened was they're shooting like someone someone gets something stolen like very common things you know within the city just curious just wondering um and they well not funny but they were like no there is a serial flasher there's a man wandering around and flashing a bunch of young girls like it it had happened at the restaurant next door it had happened at the coffee shop next door it happened the bar next door like it was happening everywhere so finally you know told the

police told him to look out and they were like on it they were like great um because he was constantly coming around and eating at all these places and partaking at all these places and um he was getting away with it so much because um these girls like he would do this these girls and these girls would be like well I don't want to be rude like I don't know what to do like just like softly tell somebody about it um you know not wanting to cause a scene you're already a little traumatized from that and which is valid you know you don't really know what to do in that situation I would be caught the fuck off guard which is very normal I don't mean to shame but this is a great time and lesson to bring up the idea that it's okay to be fucking crazy and I'm not talking crazy in a sense of

flashing crazy I'm talking if anybody's making you uncomfortable if a guy is flashing you if some man is approaching you in a weird way we are conditioned as women to want to be like meek and small and not speak up and to not cause a scene i am telling you i am giving you the go ahead be as crazy and as loud as you can fucking be because when it comes to situations like those where it's one crazy person versus you the craziest person wins i cannot even fucking lie the crazier you get the more attention it brings to the situation the more possibilities you have of somebody witnessing what's about to happen and also the bigger chance you have of scaring that person off if that man flashed me i would immediately start screaming screaming because

i know he'd be terrified and i know he wouldn't get the satisfaction that he was looking for of scaring a innocent girl and i know he'd probably be too terrified too terrified to come back it's okay to be crazy because quite honestly now in these times the crazier person wins you have to stand up for yourself you have to hold space for yourself you have to sometimes like and it's scary I hear you um and if you haven't done this you know if you if you if it's like a fight or flight response I feel like some people are naturally like fight like go crazy you know and some people are naturally like okay flight like I need to leave that's fine you know I'm not judging anybody based on their situation and what happened but I'm just telling you if you do find yourself

in these situations in the future get crazy get as crazy as you fucking can quite honestly because I don't carry pepper pepper spray on me the most I carry is like my keys between my knuckles so it's like I don't really have a lot to fight back with but what I do have to fight back with is just like swinging my arms and screaming which I know if I do that somebody in the vicinity of the seven restaurants around my restaurant will hear will come out you know there are people around you so I just think that is like the best possible safety tip because a lot of these men and a lot of these people who are being weird being like over aggressive they like that control they like that power they like the feeling of them overpowering you of them freaking you out of

them scaring you so scare them back scare them the fuck back because when they told me there was a flasher um people were like well what do i do what do i do if that happens and i'm like start just like start going crazy start saying crazy shit start running after him like well maybe not that but like make attention for the situation so then they don't get away with it you know um also it'll possibly it'll probably bring people to you faster than you leaving and trying to find somebody so that is just a little safety psa for my girlies be as crazy as you fucking can okay here is one for my dms if you have longer questions like they can be as long as you want i don't really care if you want to type it um send them always to like my dms dms

and my instagram is at hannah marlene but i do not even look through the podcast dm so don't even try and reach me there it's just overwhelming you can send him to my personal okay um this girl starts hi my boyfriend and i have been together for like three years and i know he's my soulmate and i want to stay with him forever we'll stay with him for probably forever but sometimes i feel like he holds me back i'm in college and he gets kind of jealous insecure so i end up not going out as much I don't really want to go out but now I feel like I'm going into my senior year with no friends and no like classic college memories thoughts I love you so so much but I've been listening since the first app love you exciting okay so I feel you on that I do feel you

on that I have lost a lot of time to insecure men and sheltering myself to protect their ego um a lot of my very important years I lost a few college years to that um as well so don't feel so bad so I made it very intentional when I entered this relationship to try to not get lost within that and try to not shelter myself to make another person feel comfortable of course everybody has boundaries within a relationship everybody has you know qualifications within a partner that they need and they want um but you also need to prioritize yourself and you need to prioritize your social circle. Your social circle cannot be your boyfriend. Period. Point blank. Your boyfriend is your partner. Your partner is somebody you come home to or you talk to or you experience life with

in a partnership. I don't think you guys should just have each other though. I think it's very important to prioritize outside experiences and outside of life without your partner because it builds better trust you sheltering yourself you avoiding these um situations you avoiding going out you avoiding making friends is only digging you into a deeper hole and quite honestly digging your boyfriend into a deeper hole as well because if he's insecure if he has a little bit of issues about you going out the only way that you can fix that is no not by you sheltering yourself but by him getting used to it by him rewiring his brain because you are not the one that it's at fault here he is so i recommend honestly what i would recommend is you going out

straight up if you are kind of feeling that resentment that like okay you know i sheltered myself a little too long um now is the time to make those changes now is the time to start reaching out a little bit um now is the time for you to you know go out maybe invite him out with you bring him with you um if he doesn't want to go that's on him that's on him entirely um if he's more of a homebody let him stay at home but do not let yourself miss out on experiences and moments and memories because someone else is too insecure to even be able to be okay with the idea that their partner is going to be perceived in a situation that they are not present in they need to become secure in themselves and they need to do that work on themselves and if they are not

willing to do that work that's something else um i would recommend leaving because you're going to get trapped quite honestly but if they are willing to do that work and they are you know conscious that they are an insecure person and they are conscious they need to do some work on that the only way that you are going to be able to work on that is to put it into practice you know go out a little bit go do new things go try new experiences with your boyfriend without your boyfriend with your friends um but you cannot let an insecure man hinder your experiences in life because they will. A lot of men want to snag up women and put them in a cage, not literally, maybe, and have them in their house as their little pets who, you know, are around when they

want a blowjob and are around when they want to have sex and are around when they're off their video games so they can have something else to do and are around to cook and around to clean and are around to only be perceived by them that is not a relationship that's called being held hostage okay and a lot of men want this the only way that you can kind of fight this and you can kind of have a healthy relationship is if you implement a life outside of your boyfriend and you need to encourage your boyfriend to implement a life outside of you so if he's the insecure one in the relationship start recommending him to you know if he mentions if he mentions him going out with friends be supportive okay show up for him be like yes i want you to go out absolutely have fun

you know and when he does go out to do a little text update hey how you doing but offer him his space you kind of have to be the person to show that to him now when you go out he needs to offer the same things back and if he's not if he's consistently and constantly just um getting upset and then blaming it on you and then not doing the work i do think you need to leave but the best thing you can really do is hold that space for each other um and hold that space to learn with each other and show up for your partner the way you would want to be shown up for does that make sense but a lot of men do not want a girlfriend they want a housewife and i don't want you to get stuck in a cycle of you feeling like you missed out on your life simply because you were trying to

make another person comfortable okay you're gonna miss out on a lot of your life if you try to make other people feel comfortable what makes you feel comfortable what makes you feel good ask yourself those things and they are going to be hard to do because you probably are going to get a little bit of pushback from your boyfriend but you need to stand up for yourself you really do and i don't want you to miss out on those experiences and i don't also want you to build resentment for against him because of these things these are things you can very easily work out within a relationship you just have to you know do it you have to have those experiences so then you can have the real world situation of working through and problem solving through them together as a

couple as a partner you know um but i feel you on that i lost a lot of years like two or three when i was younger especially in college i didn't have a good college experience um i was more swept up and how I thought and thinking about how my exes thought about me and trying to make them feel comfortable and settled within themselves and I realized that no amount of sheltering myself is going to make these people feel comfortable within themselves because they had a deep rooted hatred for themselves and a control issue and it got to a point where I was like I'm missing out on a lot of life and you are holding me back and you are not also working with me to do better and you are constantly trying to hold me back as well whether it's subconsciously or consciously

um and i had to break up with them i had to and i had to leave but sometimes it is the best but if you guys can work together you guys can problem solve then absolutely i say go for it you do just have to enact those real world situations of going out and maybe having those high tense situations or letting your boyfriend feel insecure that's okay I get insecure too but that is completely something that is rooted within my head and not rooted within reality and something that I need to work through on my own okay same way that you going out with friends should never be a product or should never be a cause of insecurity but if he is feeling insecure that's something that he needs to work through and focus on for himself and think why why am I

feeling this way and what can I do to not feel this way and how can I build trust within the relationship because the more you go out the more trust is built because you both realize that oh nothing's gonna happen you know you can have trust for each other when you're together and when you're apart so important things important things stop letting men hold you back hey hannah this is crystal calling from fort worth texas and i work at a music store and i wanted to play a why am i crying that is oh my god i love you guys so much you're so talented the way like i don't know why that brought tears to my eyes you guys please submit anything submit anything you want music story times i am down for it all i want this to

be a community i want you guys to feel comfortable here thank you so much for sharing you are so very talented and that was beautiful for this lovely tuesday morning okay you know how i was like the crazier the better i am not realizing i think that comes to all situations quite honestly as a woman every time i felt crazy as a woman i was usually just right and someone was usually just like making me feel crazy does that make sense quite honestly the crazier you are as a woman the better it means you're you know holding space for yourself you're setting boundaries for yourself you're not letting people walk all over you you're not letting men take advantage of you and you're what crazy for that okay like yeah i will happily be crazy absolutely label me that way

my parents have labeled me crazy for a long time simply because i have taken control of my life and i am doing things for myself and i am not following you know the aspects of what is necessary within society to be socially acceptable do you know like i'm still doing things for me and i'm choosing a life path that is desirable for me and yeah that seems crazy to a lot of fucking people it's okay to be crazy now there are moments where like you are the problem you know like no one is innocent fully you do need to be able to recognize that within yourself i just am like overly harsh with myself and i have been for a long time um so like i kind of have the opposite issue it's like i just needed to stop hating on myself 24 7 and thinking i'm

constantly in the wrong and instead i needed to like push myself into this uplifted position of like you know what i am crazy and i fucking love it yeah like don't fuck with me if you don't want to fuck with crazy you know so like i am very much able to realize when i am the issue and when i am the problem because i already am my own worst hater um and there's something special kind of about being your own worst hater because no one can touch you like people leave me hate people leave hate comments all the time especially men like straight men hate me simply because i am an intelligent beautiful woman and that is like shocking impossible what and it's like that's fine you can hate me it's because you're ugly like you're an ugly male and you feel

insecure about that but like i am my own worst hater you cannot tell me something that i have not already told myself like a million times in the mirror i know my deepest darkest like deep rooted insecurities no one else knows that no one else has that power over me so honestly i'm give a fuck about what anybody else thinks about me when people leave me hate I literally just block and move on I block and move on I'm like whatever I don't have time to care about that today like I try to take myself off the face of this planet no one else has tried that with me so no one else can literally physically or mentally get to me the crazier the crazier the better like i said i am my own worst hater i am able to identify those i maybe i'm the issue issues

um now there are some people who aren't able to identify them uh identify them and i think that's when you have an ego issue you know your ego's in the way you think you're constantly right you're unable to address when you are wrong that is also you know a huge negative and it's kind of the opposite way of i was working it's like well i thought i was wrong all the time and i needed to believe that I at least was right some of the time in order to survive and then some people are like well I'm right all the time and I refuse to be wrong ever and it's like well you aren't able you aren't going to be able to integrate within society and withhold not withhold but hold in general good friendships and relationships because of that and that is also a very negative thing

but anyways the crazier the better if you have a hard time standing up for yourself if you have a hard time like um really setting boundaries for yourself and being you know the bad guy um quite honestly if it whenever you have those thoughts tell yourself the crazier the better literally every situation i feel that way now it is eclipse season okay so if you're feeling those high tensions if you're feeling that like stagnant energy if you're feeling overwhelmed if you're feeling on in not an uninspired but hungry hungry for more hungry for new things wanting to reinvent wanting to rebrand now is the time to do it i think a lot of things are being brought to the subconscious um and honestly straight up to the conscious that we have been a avoiding and we have

not been paying attention to and we have been purposefully neglecting now is the time to journal those bitches out okay think about them sit within your discomfort it is so easy to lose yourself within this world lose yourself within people um and simply not have to think about yourself it's very easy to not think about yourself when there's millions upon millions of of other things going on within this world sit within your discomfort ask why you're discomforted ask what you can do for yourself listen to yourself there's a lot of internal dialogue that you have with yourself that I think or at least I do this but there's a lot of internal dialogue that happens in the subconscious within myself um that I never really pay attention to

and I've started paying attention to a little bit more now um and I'm realizing that I'm like developing a thicker skin because of it simply because I'm sitting within my discomfort and asking myself why I'm angry and asking myself why I'm upset or why I'm feeling these things because then I'm able to process them and adequately make steps within my life to you know make changes so it's eclipse season now is the time to ask yourself those questions sit within that discomfort and re-event and realign yourself okay now is the time to do those mood boards now is the time to ask those hard questions of you know where do I want to be where do I want to get what do I want to have happen for myself and also what are those hard

steps that I have been avoiding that I need to take control of and I need to step into so then these can happen so then like the outcome that you want can happen and it's going to be frustrating it's going to be really hard I hear you it's going to be a little confusing as well um but quite honestly the best thing you can do is for yourself is usually the hardest now for this eclipse season i do have some homework for you guys so get out your notes app get out a your journal okay write this down this is a daily daily activities i was trying to figure out like schedule no daily activities that you need to do and there's only three so don't get overwhelmed. You can work an eight hour shift, come home, do these. You can work a shift at night

and do these in the morning. Very simple, very easy, but things that are going to help you step into your true power and take control of your life. So there's three activities. One, you need to do something that you need to do to take care of your future self, okay? That thing that's been weighing on your mind that you're like, that is constantly bringing up anxiety that you've been putting off you know that chair of clothes fold them put them away one activity a day those depop orders that you haven't shipped take care of them ship them get it going that mail that you haven't opened those bills you haven't paid take care of it you will feel a weight completely lifted off your shoulder do one a day you will see incredible change happen within yourself and within your life

also way less stress do one thing and specifically try and make it that thing that's bringing you anxiety or that you have been avoiding you also need to do one thing for fun play or connection so something that's um bringing you happiness something that is bringing joy to your life something that is bringing rest positivity um yesterday i went and i laid outside for like two hours i suntanned a little bit it was really nice it was beautiful i needed something that just kind of brought me back into the energy i needed brought me back into the world and let me chill for a little bit um uh there's a river that is like not too far away so like going there and sitting outside and playing in the stream like i used to do as a little kid um going cliff jumping

super fun something that I have had on my list something that I've been needing to do um painting um ukulele anything that quite honestly brings you energy and brings you enjoyment do it one a day and then also you need to do one thing that is calming reflecting and relaxing for me personally I love journaling I love taking that moment to sit with myself um to check in with myself see if there's any subconscious things i need to work through some people meditate some people do yoga um some people go to bed early some people do a face mask bubble bath whatever it is just do one of each so i'm going to read those again um one something you need to do to take care of your future self one thing for play uh fun and connection and one thing for calming resting

or um reflecting that is your homework eclipse season it's heavy it's fucking a little embarrassing it is eye-opening and it is stressful but together we we can make it through it i do truly believe oh my gosh i had to take a pause to go um make me an egg sandwich my new recent fixation on food is egg sandwiches literally I think it's more of a fixation on hot sauce and I just love hot sauce on everything specifically the Aldi hot sauce like the off-brand Aldi it's literally called oh Berman's hot sauce maybe it's not Aldi brand anyways listen to this are you ready oh my god good morning i am blasted and it is 10 a.m um i just wanted to do a little question because i am going through it right now i just i'm i'm so confused like

Hannah why when am I gonna be okay by myself like I I need help because I just have this way of not this way but a lot of people come and go in my life and it's that there it's like the same group of people but like I'm over it like I just want to like I want to peace out for a little bit and like them not know what the fuck is up with me but I'm so scared of that like change terrifies me and I know that's a bad thing but it does but I'm running out of time I love you I just need some advice really that's it I just need better tactics to being alone being okay by myself okay have a great day I love you baby okay hi love you okay so let's dive in um well first of all specifically with your situation it sounds like you need a better community um and your friends

aren't providing you that community and in turn aren't uplifting your individuality and in turn you feel uncomfortable being by yourself because you feel and I don't mean to project this is literally it was literally like 58 seconds of a voice recording so I'm trying to deep dive as much as I can within that but it sounds like you don't have a good community center and that could be anything that could be friends and family that could be co-workers like literally any person you surround yourself with um intentionally that is your community and it sounds like your community is maybe not super supportive of you and in turn you know you want to be alone you do want to be alone but there's something that's dragging you away from making that change um and i think step

one would be to of course you know feel more comfortable being alone but also trying to find people who support your individuality and support your space and support you as a human being okay because if you have a good sense of community around you you will feel uplifted by yourself and you will also feel uplifted with those people which is very very important um now change is hard I agree I agree change is very hard and it's okay to feel that way because I feel that way too change is something it's like fucking oh pulling teeth to get me to change like I love staying in my old ways but also you have to realize it takes a little bit of hard things and hard decisions and change for good things to happen okay and I think to feel okay with yourself you have to

really start to get to know yourself the same way you have to get to know a partner in the same way you have to get to know friends to feel comfortable within that relationship within friends and within a partnership you have to you know know things about that person you have to be able to understand that person see where they're coming from you have to provide that good sense of friendship that you would want another person to provide to you to yourself okay and it takes a lot of work it really does I know but to feel comfortable being alone you just simply have to be alone and you got to push through it and you got to be bored a little bit you got to try new hobbies try new experiences do new things with yourself take yourself on little self dates okay things

that you were too afraid to try go do it by yourself okay it's gonna be hard I agree but Also, you will feel so accomplished afterwards and also it will reinforce that trust within yourself to then do more things alone. Also, I think it's very important to discuss the topic and I talked about this in my last podcast. Not a lot of people listen to my last podcast. Every other podcast, I get like, oh my gosh, there's like 20,000 of you guys who listen. The last one, I don't know if I got shadow banned or something, only 4,000, but I talk

about the negative and toxic sides of self-care and specifically i touched on the idea of um cut off culture and how cut off culture is really people not taking responsibility for their emotions and how they treat other people um and being alone is sometimes not the best thing for us a lot of people self-isolate a lot of people go into these isolation periods where they think they need to be alone um in order to grow but in reality if you cut off the world from you it's going to do a lot more harm than it is good so be very conscious with the alone time that you are spending with yourself and also try not to hinder yourself from the rest of the world try not to cut the rest of the world off um and put in that emotional work towards yourself and to

the other people around you but I do think you need a stronger sense of community around you it sounds like your friends maybe aren't the best friends you know and it's okay to take breaks from friendships I think that's very valid I think the best friendships that I have had allow me to spiral in peace they allow me to go off and do my own thing for weeks months years and they know that you know when she's done having her moment she's done doing that thing you know she will find us and there is a peace in that but within yourself and within friendships in the community around you you have to provide yourself space so those are my challenges for you i hope that helps i hope that made any sort of sense but i love you we'll get through this together you got this i

believe in you change is hard but you would be surprised how much better you feel after making the hard decision and the weight that is lifted off your shoulders so okay so i posted a photo yesterday for the questionnaire i was just outside tanning so i just you know took a quick photo and then threw it up and put the questionnaire on it on my instagram um if you ever want to submit something it's at hannah marlene but i mentioned the last podcast like when i walk around my titties jiggle like which is a new thing because i have never had titties i've always been stick thin stick thin like my dad is a he's always run long distance he's very skinny like that is just his natural body type and I kind of took after him growing up um but I started putting on weight

and so many of you guys dm me and were like girl your titties are tittying like they're like look at that and I was like I know like I'm kind of shocked um but I have not been comfortable with it for a little bit i haven't and i have put on some weight and the change it wasn't drastic but it was enough hold on oh my god oh my god i was just attacked that sneeze came out of nowhere but it it took some getting used to and i didn't feel super comfortable with it at first but now i feel more comfortable in it and this is my thought process to kind of um explain how i've become more open to my weight gain and also more comfortable in it and honestly seeking out a little bit more weight um when i was younger i was skinny i was stick thin

and that did fit a certain beauty ideal you know um but i realized that i was trying to succumb to the teenager pretty and i wasn't allowing myself to grow and change into the woman beautiful do you know what i mean the teenager body type and the womanly body type are two very different body types um and i think i mean i don't even think i fucking know that the beauty culture um absolutely promotes youthfulness and young looking women and they want to promote that throughout your life and i thought that was something that i needed to adhere by or continue um and that led to eating disorders that led to binge eating that led to me not feeling good about my body in any sort of way because it is very very difficult to fit

into that teenager pretty ideal that skinny that you know snatched that kendall jenner if you are not a teenager okay and you know what i don't want to be a teenager because i was fucking crazy and it's weird that men prefer my teenager body over my regular adult woman body so I have absolutely been embracing my womanhood and my body changing and my body putting on a little extra weight in new areas because I have embraced the idea of becoming a woman you know and growing up and I feel like they don't want us to embrace that at all but it is something that you kind of have to recondition out of your brain and stop falling and succumbing to this beauty ideal okay and it is very hard I am still probably like conventionally pretty I'm still pretty skinny

I can't lie like I haven't put on a drastic amount of weight but like my titties are tittying like I'm shocked and I love my body now I have never had titties before I have never had like a fat ass before but now I do and it's kind of incredible and I don't know why I've been holding myself back so long and trying to fight this change for so long um because now I'm so I'm kind of happier like I'm way happier um I think becoming a woman is beautiful and wonderful and I'm very much so looking forward to aging and growing old I think my prime will quite honestly be I say this all the time my prime is going to be when I'm like 80 and retired and I have my own garden and like just cats everywhere and I do puzzles for fun that is my ideal that is when I will peak everything

before that is just growing and changing until I become that 80 year old woman but there's no reason that I should get stuck in this idea that I need to stay a teenager forever physically mentally a very dark time so why do I have this thought that I need to continue it when it is so harmful for me it was something that I had to work with or work through feeling a lot better now but it's something that I I encourage you to think about um and rejecting the teenager pretty ideal and allowing yourself to develop into your womanly body you know it's beautiful it's wonderful and I'm very excited with how I'm growing and changing okay it is that moment I already took one hit but I need to take another so feel free to take a little hit with me and we're gonna dive into

some more questions let's get down on it oh yeah hi hannah another washington girly over here just would like to say i love your podcast hearing you learn about yourself has really helped me learn about myself and for that I am so grateful to you seriously um just a question though I don't know if I'm toxic like if I've just this is my brain making it up but my boyfriend has told me that like he should be able to sleep with who he wants he can't just commit to me the whole rest of my life and I'm not really down for all that um he thinks he should like be allowed to follow new girls on instagram text them like he's obsessed with his ex-girlfriends so i really don't know i know they're all red flags but am i toxic should i leave him i don't

know just help i love you run run as fast as your legs can carry you run like sprint like run until you cannot breathe anymore this sounds like the typical like in cell red pill alpha male you know vibes which are a walking red flag your boyfriend is constantly first of all this is your boyfriend he is constantly breaking boundaries with you that i think every other woman would also set i do not think you're crazy and then he's gaslighting you to make you feel like you are being crazy towards him and you are not allowing him to live his life if he wants to go fuck a bunch of bitches let him but do not be tied to that okay at all he sounds like a psycho he sounds like a walking red flag he sounds like every girl's worst nightmare i need you to leave

him and then i need to i need one of my actually toxic women okay come forth it's okay to be toxic i need you to go find this man and destroy him i need you to run him to the ground i love toxic women because well hold on i love women's rights and i especially love women's wrongs but if you're gonna do wrong do it in a karmatic necessary way find a horrible man and make him feel like shit okay but you seem like a really nice wonderful person and you seem like you absolutely deserve more and this man oh my god walking sewer rat do not associate break up immediately oh my god this man sounds insane insane you don't deserve that run run run run run okay let's talk porn because i don't think we've ever talked porn on this podcast and i got a few questions

um about like bad sexual experiences and porn addictions and all that stuff so let's just like jump into it um i definitely had a porn addiction when i was younger let's be honest um during the tumblr tumblr era when like porn was a big thing on there you can't even post a nipple on there anymore it is awful anyways um like the black and white gifs oh those just hit a different way i don't even know how to explain it pretty sure twitter is now like the new tumblr of porn does that make sense i feel like most people use twitter or at least like the people that i'm like friends with that do only fans i know they use twitter a lot for promotion so i think that's like that's like the new up and coming place but um where was i going with this oh porn addiction

is very real it is very real and I think it's something that everybody who has probably you know seen porn at a young age has developed and I think it's probably a majority of people I would say if you haven't developed a porn addiction then you are probably in the minority like which is psycho to say but I genuinely believe that simply on the aspect that it is so readily available in any type that you want for free which is psycho i think the most ethical way for you to consume porn is probably only fans you know what i mean um simply because here's a few thoughts um i don't think that the porn that is readily available for free are adequate safe um examples of sex and i think a lot of people are going to porn to you know

like what am i trying to say i think a lot of people go to porn to kind of figure out their own in-person sexual experiences does that make sense and then they kind of use what they have seen in porn in the real world now here's my issue there is no reason a woman should go into their first ever sexual experience assuming they're gonna get hit that is the negative of porn that is absolutely the horrible negative of porn the porn industry in itself is super bad exploitative of women doesn't listen to consent um yes they have to sign consent forms yes they have to you know do std testing but that's not all and i think a lot of videos especially what people are consuming online are like rape videos essentially and are coercion videos because

i didn't realize how how many of them were out there for free oh my god like horrible horrible things until I had my first sexual experience and until I had my first bad sexual experience and then you're watching the video and you see the look in the girl's eyes and it is a look that you know within your soul and it's fucking bone chilling and it is horrible and you realize five million people have watched this video for free five million people have watched this video for free and it has like a 90 approval rating that's how many people enjoyed it that is psycho and the fact that these people are consuming these videos subconsciously assuming that these are okay things to do and that this girl is enjoying this and then they can do this to other

people is horrible absolutely horrible and it's kind of terrifying and you don't like i had no idea that so many of these videos were out there until quite honestly i experienced it myself and i was like holy shit like there is sure a regulation but in a lot of places in a lot of these videos there's no regulation going on at all and there are millions of these videos that are available and that are being watched all day every day on for hours on end psychotic psychotic now the only way for you to kind of curb that over consumption over over consumption of porn is to not make it free and that's what only fans is doing and the money goes straight to the creator which is incredible of course there's like a fee taken out but if you collab

with somebody if you guys work together that money goes straight to you okay there's no agents there's no uh management there's no uh lighting makeup nothing that you pay it goes straight to you i mean of course if you choose to pay those people lovely but the only way to curb over consumption especially over consumption for young people is to put it behind a fucking paywall if you can't fucking pay for it sorry like i'm that sounds so bad i think porn in general like consuming too much of it is bad um anyways i'm never gonna be like don't watch porn because i i think every normal human probably does that's just what it is that's fine i'm not gonna be like uh like um what oh like super vanilla here i'm not a nun like i don't care i like i said i've had a porn

addiction um before so i get it i understand but if you are gonna consume it understand like what you are consuming and try and like look into what the porn industry is really like and you're probably like no I've never seen a video like that I have never seen something bad happen to a person that's because you simply haven't looked for it and you don't know the warning signs and also they're not selling it to you in that way they're not selling you this video I mean maybe they are but they're not selling you this video thinking that it's like that they're pertaining to these ideas that is what's happening in the video but they're gonna sell it as something else okay also it's kind of terrifying how much men believe they are entitled to women's bodies for

free okay and they're entitled to sexual activities for free and they're entitled to different experiences for free put that shit behind a paywall any woman who has put themselves behind a paywall good for you i support that with my whole fucking heart absolutely because the only way to curb this idea that men can go out and do whatever the fuck they want to women's bodies and they can do these things to women and they can consume them is to stop letting them consume so much free porn and stop letting them consume so many different people's bodies visually not physically um in that way in a negative way and let them feel that entitlement put yourself behind a paywall make them fucking pay for you absolutely okay men feel like they are entitled to so many

things in this world they are entitled to your body they are entitled to your mind they are entitled to your free porn but they're not okay and literally like only fans fancy i don't know what people are using even if you are making porn in the porn industries and you're doing it safe love i support all my actresses anybody who is working within it um but put that shit behind a paywall no offense like if i was when i was 14 and i'm like oh i don't watch porn if that shit was like 14 or even five dollars or even three dollars i'd be like uh no i'm gonna go find something else to do you know what i mean and i could have saved myself so many years of trouble but no it's free and anything you could possibly ever want is free and there's just like so many complications behind

that idea and it's so frustrating but porn addiction is very real um and i'm sorry to anybody who has had a bad experience in sex i feel you i've been there bad experiences can be funny they can be like laughable but also bad experiences can be like i said bad experiences and i would hate if i had a bad experience and then it got uploaded online and men were consuming that for free every single day for their pleasure that would be terrifying no person should have to go through that and i think that's kind of what all this free porn is really promoting and it's also promoting this ideal in men that they are able to consume and objectify women for free for their own entertainment for their fun and that is so kind of disgusting so support your local only fans

creator quite honestly um i know they're working hard and also like i feel like if they do it on only fans you have so much more control over yourself as you should as an actress you should um or actor as well i don't mean to only talk about women here but um and it happens in both both cases i've men and women have had bad experiences within the porn industry i do know that for a fact but you have choice over who you work with you have choice over working alone you have choice over what kind of content you post you even have choice over who you're interacting with you can see who is subscribing monthly and you can be like you know what i don't fuck i don't like that person block them i don't want them to ever see me in that way that is awesome you should

be able to set boundaries within the porn world. And I feel like a lot of men believe that boundaries simply don't exist, especially when it comes to sex. They believe the best thing about sex is being able to do anything. And that's not what it is. The best thing about sex is building that connection, building that relationship, building that trust, building that intimacy, working into things not having full excess of my body whenever you want however you want that's not love that's called abuse quite honestly um if you're into that also no kink shaming um i just get so frustrated with men when they're like yeah fuck only fans bitches it's like okay you like your form you're porn free but also you are entitled and you also have a weird need to feel like you have access to

women's bodies and i feel uncomfortable by that unless you watch gay porn which i mean vibe have fun with it but like uh the porn industry is just so bad and it causes so many negatives and even in sexual encounters and sexual experiences it's like why the fuck would you think you could do that to me oh well i saw it in porn like what what are you talking about you didn't ask me you didn't talk to me and you did this why did you think that was okay oh well i saw it in porn yeah no we gotta cut that shit out even with my own self i had asked myself like why did i allow that and i was like well i saw this video so it should be okay right and it's like well in my heart did i really like that like it's okay to be vanilla it's okay to not want things to happen to

you it's okay to be very vocal about what you want or it's okay to like you know know what you want and not want as well be vocal about that be upfront and honest about that be very talkative during sex you know communicate give um give your input give how you feel i think that is very very important during sex um because you both probably have two very different ideas of what's going on in your head and the only way to get on the same page is to quite honestly talk it out and talk during it but i just went on a whole rant i just saw so many questions about like i had a bad sexual experience or i saw somebody being like my boyfriend's addicted to porn and i just think has a negative toll and it's like yeah porn is a very negative toll the same people who are like

nah weed doesn't have any bad bad side effects or weed can't be addictive are the same people who are like nah porn isn't bad porn isn't addictive it's like yeah it very much so is that last caller we just heard who was like my boyfriend feels like he should be able to fuck whoever he wants and he should be able to fuck with whatever he wants i guarantee he has a porn addiction and he has a bad relationship with women because of it because he feels entitled to every single woman around him it is just a full spiral effect support your local only fans creator i really really do suggest that now if you're in a relationship and you're like i don't want him buying only fans i also feel like that's valid i do i really do um because you're like in a relationship you can just

fuck it out but if you're not together i understand boundaries are so different within relationships whatever you're feeling is very valid but just understand where it's coming from and try and work through it um porn industry in general big big no no well i'm and i mean that by like the free porn industry i'm not saying all porn creators i love them i love sex workers do your thing make your money but put that shit behind a paywall make sure you're getting paid okay and don't let anybody take advantage of you ever ever hey babes i'm angie and i was wondering if you could give us all a little bit of hannah insight on how we only accept the love we think we deserve all right that's all i've got love you and love the pod so so much kisses

okay i'm not gonna lie i've just been kind of shitting on men this entire podcast but i think we're just gonna keep it up we're gonna keep it up just because there's so many things that do need to be brought to light okay and things that we should discuss um i'm not saying all men are bad i really don't give a fuck but there are things that you need to watch out for and there are systematic issues that are in place and there are things that we need to work towards doing better so let's discuss that um when it comes to accepting the love we think we deserve i think it goes it goes in two ways first of all well no i think it goes in one way but one is very much so emphasized by the other so i think the pretty much like um individualized answer in this

is like um if you're not super confident in who you are and you think you don't deserve shit then you're essentially going to settle for shit but the deeper part of this is people in general and men in general and i speak about men a lot because i have only been in heterosexual relationships. I really only deal with men. But a lot of men think that they don't need to do anything, okay? They think that the bare minimum is good, okay? The bare minimum. And it's very easy to accept the bare minimum as a woman. Very easy to accept the bare minimum because we're so used to men being bad that when we finally see one be somewhat good we're like oh love that snatch it up we'll be he'll be great because he's okay he's okay but he's not bad you

know he's not horrible he doesn't beat me so like he's great right like he's good no no that that is accepting the love you think you deserve okay settling settling for something that is not really helping you or benefiting you at all as a human being to grow and to do better okay just because a man is okay doesn't mean he is good okay you should not be settling for the bare minimum you should be looking for the best and that goes for any relationships heterosexual not heterosexual I don't care like it um like even if I was looking for women I would still try and make sure that I wasn't just settling for the first woman you know I wasn't just going for it I was taking my time to learn about these people really think about them within my life

and think about if they're going to fit think about if they really encourage me to grow and really encourage me to do the things that I want to do and my passions and my inspirations and also make sure that I can do that for them but if you don't want to put in the work and you don't want to think about it and you simply just want a relationship and you don't really care about the person then yeah you're going to accept the love you think you deserve because that person is okay to you and they don't challenge you they don't make you think outside the box so it's really easy for you to settle down that is why i love my hoes and my sluts and my celibate queens okay i love you you are incredible and you are doing the work you're doing the work to make

sure you have the right one okay you're doing the work to make sure that the person that you're gonna end up with is the right one all right because a lot of them will put on a face a lot of them will waste your time a lot of them will drag you the fuck down if you give in if you let them if you let them take control of you like that okay a lot of people want to bring you down a lot of people have weird control issues a lot of people have weird insecurity issues a lot of people have weird like past relationship even like family trauma issues and that will present itself but some people can work through it some people can do better some people can you know absolutely i do that i try to do that you know i try and be the best person i can be within a relationship

but some people don't want to okay and that will make itself very clear but you can't keep making excuses for this person you can't keep making excuses like oh well next time like oh well this well oh but that it's like they can say one thing but they need to also have it be in the actions as well okay they need to say and speak it into existence while also making these steps necessary to do so or else it's all just talk and i feel like a lot of people get manipulated in this way where they're like well they said this so i'm just gonna wait that shit's never gonna come babe that's why they want you to wait they want you to sit there patiently with your legs crossed tapping your fingers for months and months and years on end because they know they can sit there and chill

and do whatever they want and you aren't going anywhere you have to stand up for yourself or relationships you have to leave when they aren't suiting you anymore or if that person isn't good for you you have to make those hard decisions you have to you know be open to looking into those characteristics and and seeing them for their flaws and seeing those things and asking yourself like is this something that you know I can work with that they're they also are working with or is this something that is now gonna end up hurting me and pushing me back okay and these are unfortunately very real questions that you have to ask yourself throughout the dating world and throughout the world in general when it comes to friendships as well um but we do accept the

love we think we deserve because i feel like sometimes we're just blind to it and i feel like sometimes we're like well it's here so it better be good when in reality the good thing that you need is maybe just yourself or also maybe someone else maybe this person isn't the person for you but if you settle and you wait and you let yourself be manipulated by these people they will play you until you die so stand up for yourself okay stand up for who you are that like i said my hoes my sluts they are running through people trying to figure out who they want they are really taking the time to look into people and see if they want to be with them my celibate queens are taking the time to step away from people sexually work on themselves and

then they can maybe step back into a relationship or seeing if people will actually take them seriously in a relationship if sex isn't involved these are big important steps that are absolutely necessary to take and either way you want to take it i don't really care every dating process is so completely different but i'm begging you don't let yourself be manipulated by these people okay you have to have the willpower to see people for who they are all right you really do you have to see people for who they are and how they are openly and honestly presenting themselves because bad people sometimes sometimes they're sneaky but sometimes they are just bad people straight to your face stop making excuses for them stop waiting around for things to get better do the

work on your end but if it's not happening it's not being reciprocated bye gone okay prioritize yourself prioritize your happiness because you will fall into a trap if you don't anyways i'm gonna fly through some shorter questions we're gonna smoke one more bowl here and then i'm gonna release this podcast for you guys so you guys can have a wonderful tuesday and so can i i gotta get more work done but let's get into it these are from um my instagram you know i put up the questionnaire on my story so these are just shorter questions um someone said you're glowing tell us about how you take care of your skin um i've had a long journey with my skin i went on accutane to kind of help with my deep deep cystic acne which really has other than that i really

just stick to a very basic wash um and i do that at night i don't wash in the morning because i feel like it just strips my face of necessary oils i'll wash with water um and then just a very easy moisturizer and i've been trying to exfoliate because i feel like a lot of the pimples that i have now are due to just like dead skin buildup so keep it simple is probably my biggest tip um did you see the eclipse i didn't physically see it simply because i fell asleep very very quickly that night um i was exhausted because of it so no unfortunately i didn't get to see it but i saw a lot of wonderful wonderful um pictures what can you do to make sex more romantic with your girlfriend i honestly think the biggest part of romance is just taking it slow and communicating

thoroughly um lots of communications and take your time with each other you know take that time to explore each other try new things um but it's all about trust and vulnerability i feel like that's the most romantic thing um do you think one night stands are good or bad for someone's self-confidence i think they can i don't think one night stands should have any sort of co-relation with your confidence and if you are basing your one night stands on confidence then i think it would have a negative effect on your confidence um so yeah i don't think you should base sex and the desire of men on your confidence straight up um that would be my probably biggest tip um tips on embracing being single literally my first hot girl summer in two years do everything you're

too afraid to do go do try new things now's the time to meet new people it is summer um try and make new friends it's but i mean the biggest thing about summer is just trying new things get out there you'll meet people um but yeah um how do you prep yourself to get a tattoo uh i got my biggest tattoo was five six hours long with no break i didn't have any pain medication or anything like that it was really just a lot of breathing also it was on my arm so i feel like i didn't feel a lot of pain um i have a very high pain tolerance especially when it comes towards tattooing honestly nothing fucking compared to my iud so um but yeah i say just deep breathing communicating with your um tattoo artists for breaks if you do need them and then um also what else what else oh

sometimes they offer you like a pain it's like a it's like a topical pain thing it's just like a numbing cream if they have it and you really really can't do pain i say go for that um where do i buy cute affordable swimsuits i love secondhand swimsuits if you can buy them on like depop parshmark anything like that i um have thrifted a few swimsuits as well if you're in the california area venice beach i know like the tourist trap of venice beach yes there's a really really wonderful handmade bikini um shop on the on the boardwalk and i have like three bikinis from him he was wonderful um he really sold me so many swimsuits which was incredible also my wonderful wonderful friend sydney at shop sydney mary hand makes all of her um swimsuits and they

are sustainable and they last forever i've had one for like one two years now and all the rhinestones are still attached they're one of one so i mean that it will be the only bikini that is possible to own is yours you know very exciting but that's where i've gotten all my bikinis that i can think of um thoughts on kendrick's new album i thought it was good i need to listen again because i only listen once and his music is always so complicated um just in the sense that it's uh he puts a lot of thought into it and there's so many different dynamics going on from the music from the beat from the lyrics that you do need to listen to a few times to really um take it all in so i do need to listen to it more i've just been so busy and i haven't really been in my

car a lot so that's like the only place i really listen to music but let's let's scroll let's keep going um someone just said boobs question mark what i know they're looking good it's simply because i've accepted that i need to grow up and i need to you know i need to put on weight probably and stop living in my teenage mind um i don't know a lot of these questions are things we've kind of talked about before but oh how's the merch going it's going good um it really is i finally found i just here's the thing i'm i'm picky and i don't want to give you guys shitty merch simply because i'm a high quality bitch i hate when you buy something online and it comes in the mail and you're like what the fuck is this okay like i don't want that and i'm particular

about what I want and I'm particular about how I want things to look so I've been working with this supplier for a while now um well first I thought I was gonna hand make them and I got all these screens and I screen printed a few but uh it just wasn't it wasn't exactly how I wanted so I was just like scratch that find a new supplier and I found a new supplier with wonderful colors and incredible printing so I just ordered samples of those just to make sure that they you know are what I want I'm waiting for those to come in but by the time those come in I should be able to photograph and we should be able to do a merch drop after my birthday in June so keep that in mind my birthday is June 1st though it's coming up I'm really really excited I can't wait it's

on a Wednesday which is a weird day I can't lie um but I'm excited I have no idea what I'm gonna do i do like having chill birthdays um i like just being able to indulge in all my favorite things and have a few days off to myself i think that's quite honestly the best way that um you can celebrate a birthday and also a lot of my friends kind of just live out of state they don't really live in my state so i would say like have a big birthday or like a big party um i just don't have a very large group of friends right now other than like my work friends so that is probably not gonna happen but I'm not too worried about it I don't want to get I don't think there's any reason to feel down about that for any reason I just always try and make it a priority on my

birthday to indulge a little bit there's nothing better than you know having your favorite food having some good sex having a birthday cake you know wearing a cute outfit it's just like the little things that really make up for it also I'm supposedly supposed to be moving into my apartment on my birthday so I think I'm gonna be just doing a lot of like nesting which is very exciting because I have been really excited to finally have a new space that's like for myself and that i can you know feel comfortable in so that'll be a great way to start um my personal gemini season which will be june 1st i'm also hoping to open a p what am i trying to say what the fuck was i gonna say a p.o box me completely skipping both words p.o box before then so if you

want to send me anything for my birthday what love what absolutely love also best way to support me you guys already know and the best way i can support you is past packs i'm about to hit this bowl i just put a little bit of like dabs on top of the cbd it's pretty good i can't lie but i'm smoking past packs today past packs continuously um has worked with me uh worked with me and sponsored me and continuously puts out incredible wonderful things so if you want to support me in the podcast and you also want to be supported a little bit you can use code smoke sash for 10% off any of your orders um they have gummies if you like a nighttime chill they got um carts if you want to on the go method they also have wonderful pre-rolls for like gifts um they're super cute

and they have flour as well but code smoke sesh for 10 off paz packs if you want to support let's hit this bowl oh yeah i love you all so much i hope you have a wonderful tuesday we will jump back into it again on thursday i know crazy right if you have any last minute questions you want to send um go ahead and dm to them to my instagram at hannah marlene and the call-ins if you want to leave a call in that link is in my bio it'll take you directly there you got a minute to leave whatever is on your mind i would love to hear anything from you guys i love connecting and doing this with you so submit whatever you want i'm here for you and i love you and i will see you

in two days