Smoke Sesh - body hair, beauty secrets & relationship anxiety

Episode Date: August 4, 2022

Happy Thursday! Quick episode today as I also uploaded a little video hang on patreon, but I finish up this weeks questions in a rapid fire episode. We discuss Leo season and childhood connections, favorite coffee shops in KC, body hair & acceptance, beauty secrets and my top two things to keep it all, the chase and how to stop chasing people, religion and confidence, relationship anxiety, ass eating, riding, money and bad haircuts. This was a fun episode and I can’t wait to chat again on Tuesday! Remember to submit all questions to Instagram @ hannahmarlene and if you are interested in extra content go check out the patreon @ smokeseshshawty and I’ll see you next week! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Hello everybody, happy Thursday, how are we all doing? it is 2 2 20 in the afternoon it's a new one for me usually i'm sitting down and recording like asap straight in the morning but i have been working all morning on a little video for my

patreon um talking about just some um journaling my favorite journal uh what i use to journal my altar space and how I have it set up and a little visual like tour of that and then all the plants in my apartment um so just a little video for the week but I'm just trying to dabble in that area I'm not good at like videoing or doing anything like long form content wise with video so it's kind of fun and a little challenging to get into um I remember when like I would be in art school my my professors were my oh my god my professors were really good at assigning us things that you know were were not our forte or were a little challenging and I feel like whenever those things were assigned they were met sometimes by me and sometimes by a lot of our classmates by

like um some hesitancy and some like um like people were just upset because you know they're good at painting and they're not good with cameras so why are you making me work with a camera but i think to truly be a versatile artist and to you know get the full realm of what you are capable of you have to dip your toes into things you aren't comfortable with and i mean i i am comfortable with videos to an extent because like i've been on tiktok for a while but um not really long form long form is interesting but i had a lot of fun it's like 20 minutes long probably gonna do a longer one next week maybe a little day in my life but uh yeah it's been a challenge to get all that to fucking upload because my phone has like zero storage left I have 50,000 photos on

my phone and it's like impossible to go through like I deleted like 4,000 yesterday but that's obviously not enough so uh yeah if that isn't up by the end of today I apologize I really am trying to get it to upload but um yeah i'm also starting a new book i just ordered emily emily emily rata you know who i'm talking about i ordered her book um it's called my body i think and i want to start it my friend was reading it the other day and i haven't interested in it and i have been trying to find a new book recently so i think i'm going to read that one it's coming in today so i'll probably dive into that and tell you guys about it we can do a little book club moment on here but that's my goal for the weekend is read a little bit relax a little bit i want to

try and get outside a little more it's been really really rainy um which is usually nice but when it rains in the midwest it's also extremely hot so then it becomes like insanely humid hot like it feels like a sauna outside but then it's also cloudy and dark and you're like what's going on so i haven't been able to get outside much recently which is sucks but i'm hoping to do do a lot of that this weekend um do a little bit of work a little bit of play just kind of relax a bit i went to the fair on tuesday that was super fun except for it was so god damn hot that we were there and we were just sweating and sweating and we had to leave so i didn't get a funnel cake but i did get a corn dog so i think i'm gonna make my boyfriend take me back again um tonight

when it's a little cooler and a little less sunny and um give me a funnel cake so that's what i've been up to today a little patreon moment little podcast moment i just had a fat sandwich um smoked a little bowl with you guys on Patreon. And now we're going to get into some podcast questions. So I'd be a little shorter of an episode. I apologize. I'm still going to try to get to an hour. I just have been getting a lot of call-ins recently. So I really, really want to get into those and see what you guys have on your mind for the rest of the week. So let's jump in. Hi, Hannah. I love the pod. I'm calling in with more of a PSA than a question, but I just had my birthday I'm a Leo obviously and I had a like dress-up party and my whole party was like

Marie Antoinette like Versailles themed and I had the best birthday of my fucking life and I don't know I feel like all my friends are like oh you're so extra and like no one really does stuff like that and it's like we should all do stuff like that like if you want to like do it because it's so fun and like same goes for thrifting I feel like my friends always pick up great pieces and they're like oh but I have nowhere to wear it to and it's like if it's cheap and you love it buy it because you will come up with a reason to wear it and i don't know this is just like polio season psa to all of our most extra lives and i love you so much i'll send you pictures to your dms bye i love this that sounds like a great birthday party and i listen it doesn't

always have to be a question i just love when you guys are sharing your life with us and like with me and we can just connect on that level so thank you for calling in i really really appreciate it um and yeah leo season has been great i've been in kind of like a slight hibernation after the full moon but i feel myself kind of rejuvenating back into um who i am i just feel like with creativity and with passion with the drive that leo season brings you also have to have the balance of just like rest and relaxation as well you know what i mean i also love that it was a dress-up party that is i'm gonna have to write that down for maybe a next birthday party idea i love making people like succumb to a theme like i'm obsessed with that i was going through my old photo books

the other week at my parents house and i when i was like three i had a tea party birthday where we all were dressed up and we like did our nails and we had a tea party and i was like that that is like the essence of Hannah that I have always carried with me and I love being able to see it um because like although it's like was a part of my life I it's not it's not something I super remember so I love that my mom documented it and then I can look back and be like wow I love how even though how far I've changed and grown there are still aspects of me that love that luxury that love that um just creativeness that love the um inspiration that it brings and the fact that I had it for a birthday party. So big Leo season energy. Happy birthday. I hope you had a great

time. Oh, someone asked how the fuck do I feel sexy in my body hair? Good question. So I just view body hair as a comfortability tactic. And in turn, me listening to my comfortability enhances my confidence and enhances my sexiness because i am listening to my body and listening to what i want period um now that being said i do not have body hair everywhere i shave my legs because that's what makes me feel good because that's what i like if you don't shave your legs period love it go for it but i don't shave my armpits um i don't shave my armpits i don't know anybody who shaves their arms but i don't shave that the only thing i really shave is my legs um so i think the best thing about body hair is versatility and being able to do whatever you

want with it okay if you want leg hair go for it if you don't want leg hair go for it if you want armpit hair go for it if you don't go for it if you want a full-on bush go for it if you want nothing down there at all go for it i do not care what you do with your body as long as what you are doing is rooted in what you truly want for yourself whether for like aesthetic reasons or for comfortability reasons whatever it is as long as you are listening to yourself that is all that matters because that in turn helps you be in tune with your body and then helps you be in tune with your confidence and it helps also up the level of how you feel like in the terms of feeling sexy does that make sense um but also i think we all have different tastes so it's all just listening

to that um but yeah that's all i have to say on that i don't think it's like if you don't have leg hair you're not sexy like i don't think there's some formula it really is very individual for how you want to feel and how you want to present your body to yourself so okay someone know some of my favorite coffee shops in kansas city there's a few okay it really depends on what you're looking for if you're looking for a cutesy family-owned outdoor experience three bees coffee um i had a breakfast burrito taco or breakfast burrito burrito there holy shit so fucking good they can make you any latte you want any drink you want they also had like strawberry tamales and like a homemade horchata there definitely go try it out the most adorable place ever um

number another place uh that i go to for good like food and coffee is uh crow's coffee i go there a lot whenever you see me with a breakfast burrito it's from crow's coffee they also have a killer matcha um and i also if you're looking for like a view plus a good latte plus like artisanal vibes i would say go to messenger um i feel like a lot of people go to messenger like it's a fat fucking place but if you want a good place to journal and just sit outside i would say grab your journal go get a cup of coffee from messenger and then go to the rooftop and sit up there but i don't like their food i'm so sorry i'm such like a bagel burrito girly i can't do the like salads i'm sorry not at 11 in the morning i wish i could if you are that type

of person i say go for it but they have great coffee there but those are probably my favorite places hey hannah first of all i just want to say that i literally would trust you with my life like you know that scene from mean girls where she's like i saw katie wearing army pants and flip-flops so i got army pants and flip-flops that's who i am but like with you your advice has literally like pulled me out of depressive episodes um i bought my punk from canna style I started smoking CBD with my weed because of you just all of that and so because of that I wanted to know if you had any health wellness or beauty secrets for us like a product that maybe you swear by or like a routine that you do that you swear by just anything like that that you

might have not told us yet oh okay so when it comes to health and beauty there are two simple things that I swear by and I really like I'm not on here trying to sell you anything I really just want to share things that I love and I love that the things that I am you know promoting and sharing that I do genuinely love you guys are enjoying as well so shout out um when it comes to health my rule number one and something that I've had an issue with since I was a kid is drinking water and drinking enough water um I don't know why I've had such a hard time reminding myself or you know um getting the proper amounts into my system but the feeling that i have when i do versus what i don't is drastic and i didn't realize i was living so

much of my life in like pain because i was just severely dehydrated um and i was not drinking enough water and probably drinking way too much coffee and probably drinking um way too much alcohol so oh my god my neighbors are like moving so if you hear like thuds apologies but rule number one absolutely absolutely drink water i'm sitting here with my water bottle hydrate up ladies um it is like always on me constantly have it with me and it helps with my overall mood helps with quality of life helps with skin helps with when i'm feeling lethargic or tired or if i have a headache it's usually because i'm dehydrated so i would say that would probably be my top tip when it comes to beauty um

there's one product that i do use constantly and consistently but i don't think i i want to say for beauty everybody's different everybody's skin type is different everybody how they react to things is different what they need is different i think the best thing you can really do for yourself is leave yourself alone um i used to have like a really bad habit of picking my skin and that would just be like open wounds everywhere um i would use like a 10-step routine on my face and that was just way too much and way overwhelming for like my skin that just needed something simple um so the one thing that i really really do swear by especially as a fellow acne girly i feel like i i love wearing my bare face around i love not having makeup and i feel comfortable

not wearing makeup now like i i could during high school i was always wearing makeup always covering up always having concealer on because i had acne and acne was just something that really affected my mental health in fact the way i saw myself and the reason that my acne was so bad was a because of hormones which is just general like i still have hormone issues now um but b what was making it worse was i was just messing with my skin way too fucking much and not understanding what i was putting on my face so now i'm very very picky with what i put on my face and the one thing that i do use every single day and i have to use it every single day or i like freak out is the CeraVe Benzoyl Peroxide Acne Solution Face Wash. I use like a dime size amount every

single night in the shower. It's the only time I wash my face is at night. I don't wash it in the morning. And the Benzoyl Peroxide is the one active ingredient that I found that really helps fight those hormonal breakouts and helps fight the like bacteria that causes acne and that is probably my best key to feeling good about my skin which kind of also translates to how I approach like just leaving the house and how I approach seeing myself acne was like trying to figure out my acne really really did help um with everything and now i still get breakouts it is what it is i don't try and mess with them anymore i let them be i let them do their thing um you'd be surprised how fast acne goes away if you just don't touch it um that's why i have my long ass nails so i

can't like get at my skin and pick at it or even like pick at my pores or whatever it is i don't know if it's like an OCD thing but like I have such a picking issue um but yeah the benzoyl peroxide wash and water is like really the two things that I would maybe recommend um but if you are an acne girly that face wash has changed my life and also it is a little drying so I do recommend maybe washing your face with a gentle washcloth so you can get that dead skin off um so you don't like build up dead skin but those are the two things that i have been swearing by recently someone said violate me please i am chasing a man and i need to be set straight how to stop the chase 101 for lover girls oh my god i am such a chaser i can't even lie i can't

i am a fellow lover girl and the chase whether me being chased or me chasing is like i don't know why it's so desirable now here's the thing i feel like the chase when it's one-sided is not healthy okay not healthy let me emphasize that when it's you just chasing one person who does not want to be chased is not healthy for either partners because think about how you feel when you're being chased when you don't want to be chased that shit feels uncomfy so listen to people's boundaries if a man's like i'm not ready for a relationship right now take that out his boundary okay that's not him playing games take it out his boundary give yourself space let yourself stop being crazy for a second let yourself build new kind of friendships and relationships separate

it but when the chase is you know back and forth not back and forth as in like hot and cold but like the like tease the intimate chase from both partners where it's like okay well the man comes to me now i'm going to the man now the man's coming to me now i'm going there or this partner's coming to me now i'm gonna go to them and then maybe i'm gonna go again and now now they're coming to me like that's the chase that you want in a relationship and that is healthy okay because it has to be the ebb and flow of two partners together i literally saw a video the other day and it was like someone um talking about the scene in the lion king where it's like the chase between the two lions and it's like it has to be the opening fucking scene no it's not the opening

scene it's when simba is like a kid and he's with nala and they're like on that little walk and the music's playing you know and then they they're like tackling each other and then they're like adults you know it's like that transfer between kids and adults it's that scene that is the chase okay it's like that play you know they're playing together um but when it's just one-sided that's called a hunt it's a hunt and one person's going to end up getting hurt so i think it's okay to to just distinguish between the two and if you know you're chasing a little harder this time maybe they're gonna chase back next time but if it's just you chasing and chasing and chasing take that as a sign okay you deserve to feel wanted the same way you are you are wanting

somebody else you know it's got to be equal um or at least it has to be that back and forth because if not then i don't think that's healthy um at all so evaluate oh my gosh i keep i'm reading through all these questions there's like a lot of questions about my body hair i think like my arms up in the photo or something and my armpit hair is sticking out um i had a few that i want to talk about we talked about like feeling comfortable but someone said how do you rock armpit hair and then someone else said um how do you feel comfortable not shaving your armpits i've tried but it makes me feel icky um once again do what makes you feel comfortable for some reason i'm okay with armpit hair i don't have a lot of it it doesn't get super long

so like it being there really isn't much of a nuisance now i do occasionally shave it um especially in the summers because like i like drip sweat like i don't sweat a lot when i shave but when i do when i do have hair it's like like i'm dripping sweat and it's just an inconvenience so sometimes i do shave but for the most part like i just let it grow and i do its own thing because it has never bothered me ever and when i started shaving i started like thinking to myself like why am i shaving is this for other people like i'm comfortable with it so like why am i continuously shaving and that is the root issue that i had to think about and i had to address for myself because i realized i was shaving this part of myself that i really did not give a fuck

about and i could probably save a lot of razors on um for other people and their comfortability so i simply stopped and it's kind of weird when you're met by people who are like whoa armpit hair crazy because it's like i don't fucking think about my armpit hair like it's just there now my leg hair on the other hand like I feel like it's just so different for everybody else so this could go for anything but like when my legs are hairy I feel like itchy and like I feel kind of like odd um like I don't care when other people have leg hair like uh leg hair or any sort of body hair but for me personally like I just love the feeling of smooth legs for some reason and so that is something that I probably will continuously shave and that here's the thing

is not for other people's comfortability there's been times where my leg hair is like fucking an inch long like and that's okay i maybe just didn't want to shave at the time but it's all about acting and behaving in ways that make you feel comfortable and make you feel connected to your true self if you want to shave shave if you don't want to shave don't shave but it got to a point where i was shaving and i was like why am i shaving why am i thinking about this area i don't think about this area and i don't care so what's going on here and i really had to address that within myself so if you're ever questioning that about yourself you know or you don't want to shave and you're like why am I shaving I encourage you to not but also if you're comfortable doing so

go for it it totally is up to a matter of preference hey Hannah love the pod um this is not a question this is actually a comment about Tuesday's podcast I just wanted to say like I love our community and like I love that all the girls here are like so supportive of each other but I wanted to talk to like the girl who was crying over her boyfriend moving away and breaking up like I literally started crying when she was talking because I went through something so similar and I just wanted to let her know like I went through something similar my first love first everything moved away for college and we tried to stay together and that shit did not work it fell apart and that was so much harder than just ending it on good terms in the first place um it's been

like over a year oh no it hasn't it's been like a year since and I already have a new boyfriend who's so much better and I just want to let you know that it does get better babe it is going to be hard but honestly like you have so much good coming for you love you guys love yes I think we all felt that way when we heard that because it's like it's I mean it was it's raw honest emotion and thank you so much for sharing but it's like hell yeah we have all been there um and I think the people who have been there also understand that you grow past it and new things are on the horizon and as much as you like don't want to hear that when it is your first breakup and you think it's impossible and like you literally like don't believe it like I remember watching

ted talks after my first breakup of being like is happiness possible like i don't know like like is happiness and can i achieve happiness again it's like yes it will it will it takes time but you will get there and you will look back and you'll be so grateful so i get it it is hard but i love that um you were open and willing to share with us and yes i love our community i love it you guys are great someone said um being an intimidating woman looking for love in a society of fragile men and advice my advice is to continue being a intimidating woman okay a man should be able to put up with a strong confident independent woman period and if he can't if he needs you to be submissive and he needs you to be small he needs you to be a little fragile and he needs he needs

you to make yourself smaller so he can feel like the man so he can feel like the bigger person uh no no no no no no no no run run as fast and as far away as you can um yeah no it's just never gonna work i've been there i've been succumbed to it i've tried to make it work before it does not it never does and you end up losing yourself and you end up hating yourself and at the end of the you do revert back to that intimidating woman so I say just keep it up keep going now you have to have your heart open to love period you have to like have emotions like intimidating I feel like is just like knowing yourself and having confidence and being comfortable within yourself to the point that I feel like a lot of men aren't used to that within women and it throws them off

i don't mean intimidating by like i'm cold to the world and i hate everybody and no one is allowed inside like no no no no no that's not healthy that is not healthy babe um you have to have you to be able to hold love in your heart and make connections and open yourself up to make those connections even if hurt is to follow um you can't close yourself off to the world or you close yourself off to all experiences whether good or bad and the point of being alive is to have those experiences. So I think it's totally okay to be an intimidating woman. I think it's okay to be independent. I think it's okay to know who you are. I think it's okay to be confident. But I don't think it's okay to change yourself for another person because they are a little bit

more fragile. If they don't get it, they don't get it and you will find someone who gets it. so just be patient that is all i have to say on that hey babe it's anna i'm such a big fan of the pod listen literally every week i'm just so obsessed order to grind you're literally obsessed um so i grew up mormon or lds and in a very strict household and i recently told my family that I'm not going to continue being of the Mormon faith and they did didn't they took it okay it was fine they didn't take it that great but whatever a lot of religious trauma behind that anyways I finally caught up the courage to post my first bikini photo on Instagram because I think it's kind of you're not supposed to wear bikinis in my religion and I lost a lot of

followers after that which kind of sucked and really shot myself seen so if you have any notes for that let me know okay first of all i want to say it's not you it's it's it's them it's them and their religious ideals and their less shamey tactics against women um i mean you left the faith uh understanding that i'm assuming and probably a big reason of why um and why you don't pertain to it anymore um but also i'm if your family's mormon then i'm assuming a bunch of the circles you've constantly been surrounding surrounded in since you were younger have been mormon and so like you said posting a bikini pic is not allowed okay and you did it and so they are probably unfollowing you because they're mormon and don't want to see it um i don't think

it's because of you i think it's because of the weird brainwashy religious tactics that they have probably had going on um i love you i think if anything you are clearing the bad apples as i like to say um why would you have a social media where you want to express yourself and be your true self and use it as a connective tool to impress people who are impossible to who are impossible to impress because they have a different religious basing than you and understandably a religious moral basing than you and so why would you put on a facade in order to make them feel comfortable on an account where you are supposed to be sharing your true self okay if anything you should feel a breath of relief that the people who did unfollow you you don't have to play by

their rules anymore okay you don't have to worry about their opinions anymore i feel like when i was younger i had this big like issue with like losing followers where i'd be like oh my god but did i make someone mad or oh my god but did i was i not able to impress anybody but that i had to stop myself and be like that doesn't fucking matter am i sharing stuff that i enjoy a yes or b no which is an issue but if it's yes then why should i care it is my social media it is my expression and extension of myself why should you hinder yourself in any sort of way post the fucking bikini pic if you lose followers then fuck it you're probably gonna gain more like it doesn't matter um but why would you want to keep people on your page who are not going to appreciate you

for who you are straight up the same way that you don't want people in your life that you have to fake like fake it and pretend and smile through like why would you want that on your social media page straight up i say you basically just cleared the air um but i love it i'm glad you posted a pick i hope you're feeling yourself i hope you looked i'm sure you look fucking fantastic but like i said no shame to the are there i only know extremist mormons so if there are any mormons listening to this who are like the chill mormons if that exists no hate i think we all know who we're talking about here but like if you removed yourself from that faith knowing that all that shit was bad i don't think you should feel bad about yourself for not following it anymore you

know you paved this path you understand you're gonna have some obstacles considering your family was a little upset about it you know but you did the hardest thing you approach the people who are closest in your life so now you're free and i don't think you should inhibit yourself anymore based on the rules that you no longer want to follow but i love you i don't think you should take it personally i'm sure you were fucking rocking that shit um but yeah religious extremism is crazy and it really eats people up i cannot lie oh my gosh someone said tips on exploring ass play for your mans lmao um um first of all you gotta make sure the vibes are right you got to talk to them or you know you want to at least ask you know but i feel like the best

way to go about it is just to establish that he would be comfortable with it and then you know when you're my poor neighbors who are probably hearing me through the walls um when you're just like sucking on the balls just go a little lower it's very simple also do it post shower i feel best tips i can absolutely give anybody but like go with it get a little freaky with it i feel like a lot of men are a little scared about it because there's just like so much stigma i guess around it but like who cares if you enjoy it then you enjoy it but also like talk beforehand i think that's very important or like during like ask like can i go a little lower you know what i mean but i feel most men probably enjoy it so definitely discussion to be had because listen if you're getting your

ass like eight and it feels good or if you're getting something in your ass and eight getting something in your ass and it feels good then like think about what it feels like for a man who was like his actual g-spot in his ass so much to think about oh my gosh someone said how do i deal with relationship anxiety i know my boyfriend loves me but sometimes i feel like i get annoying asking for the validation from him i just made a tiktok about this you probably you might have seen it the other day but what did i say oh shit what was it hold on let me find it word for word because it was so well written and it was in the moment of how i was feeling okay sometimes healing toxic patterns means taking a deep breath and telling yourself you are nice and no one inherently

inherently hates you instead of sending insane paragraphs to someone who is simply just busy let me read that again sometimes healing toxic patterns means taking a deep breath and telling yourself you are nice and no one inherently hates you instead of sending insane paragraphs to someone who is simply just busy i have the worst anxiety ever and some of it has stemmed from i don't know where some of it stems from my chemical imbalance in my brain and some of it stems from past traumas okay so a lot of my relationship anxiety i don't really know where i can't identify it and solve it it is just me having to sit with myself when i'm having those feelings tell myself to take a deep breath tell myself that i am a good person there's no reason

someone should dislike me i haven't done anything wrong i don't need to even ask if i've done anything wrong because i know that i haven't and to let that person be themselves and to trust in my partner that if there is something wrong he is emotionally like inept enough that he can come to me as a partner and as a human being and tell me something instead of having to constantly be on my toes and guess if there's something wrong okay um and also having these conversations with your partner is very important i even told him this i was like literally yesterday like you were just busy at work like i know you were just busy but for the four hours you were busy i was just like panicking and i had to tell myself like chill the fuck out he was like no thank you for

telling me like i really don't mean for time to slip by like that like i will try and reach out more like i don't want you to feel anxious um and also he was able to validate me and be like also i want you to know that if there was something wrong like of course i would tell you you should never assume that you are constantly in the wrong i was like good okay great but having these conversations with your partner is very important okay i think you guys should both know where you're coming from where your headspace is and that your ultimate goal for each other is for both of you guys to feel good but if you are in a relationship with a person who is constantly trying to make you guess how they are feeling that is un-fucking-healthy okay unhealthy if

they're shutting down if they're just not talking to you because they're upset if they are giving you the cold shoulder that silent treatment that is unhealthy and it causes a lot of anxiety in people so i get it but if you are in that position i say run as fast as you fucking can um you need to be in a relationship with a healthy person who can express their emotions and come to you as a person and talk it out all righty but if you ever have words like that i say you know it's okay to talk talk to your partner even if you can't get it in the moment you know they're busy um you know bring it up later how you were feeling um don't blame it on them like obviously they're just busy um just be like i was having some anxiety earlier this morning and i had to you know talk myself out

of it um you know or um just anything like that i just think happy having open and honest conversations with your partner is important and also having open and honest conversations with yourself um so you don't send crazy fucking paragraphs to people who are just you know busy with their lives um so yeah that's that's all i gotta say on that also i don't think you should get um where am i coming from i don't think you should get um anxious about asking for too much validation um i think it's okay to ask for validation be like but do it specifically instead of asking for validation and being like do you love me are you sure you love me i really feel like that is um kind of bringing up doubts between you guys

i think you should switch it instead of like uh do you love me being like hey i love you hope you're having a good day like switch it in a different direction um like because you do love them you are feeling that way um so maybe you be the person to instigate it um hey hope you're having a great day i'm doing this blah blah blah blah um hey love you good night you know whatever it is switch it from like the negative like the blaming the uh kind of accusatory um because you know that's not really going on like you know they love you to like you just expressing how you feel and how you kind of want to start a conversation does that make any sense oh my gosh someone asked for writing tips it's so unnecessarily difficult okay felt that's why i like reverse cow

girl i feel like my assets are more in the back like i like facing my partner but i feel like my assets are more in the back and it's really it's way easier for me to like shake my ass on on my partner than it is for me to like bounce up and down and face forward so that's why i prefer um reverse cowgirl but to make it easy on easier on yourself um my best recommendation is to sit up okay so like you know you're on your knees or whatever sit up straight and then um it's like while you're on top you can kind of take your feet and place them like this is so confusing like above his legs and like in between his legs so it's like instead of your feet like flat on on the bed you're placing them on his thighs and that gives you like enough elevation

that instead of bouncing like fucking what is it like 12 inches up and down like you only have to bounce like half of it um and it saves your legs a lot of pain especially if you're going for a while um also my number one writing tip is it's for the beginning or it's for the end i feel like like listen i wish my thighs were so powerful i can only be on top for like 15 minutes max max so when i do get tired i listen to myself and that's why it's great for a starting or ending position because then you can fill up the rest of the time with other positions and then you can connect you know back to that position whenever but it's a finisher or it's a starter that's what i like to say um reverse cowgirl also if if you prefer to be on top but

maybe like a different direction i say go for that one that one's great as well if you and if you don't like it because you can't connect with your partner do it in front of a mirror i have so many mirrors around my apartment because like chef's kiss for any sexual moment because you can see everything and i think that's a great way to connect with your partner like when your eyes are closed and you're not looking at your partner it's a great disconnect like i understand sometimes you gotta focus you know you gotta focus on what's going on but i think it's way hotter and it builds more intimacy and like a great connection if you guys are watching each other and if you can see each other and that's why i love mirrors 10 out of 10 go buy yourself a body

mirror hey girl thank you for the pod it's gonna make so many hard times i have an issue well i'm in a very loving relationship i'm very happy we don't have any fights um very calm peaceful we live together problem is i keep paying for everything i've just got a habit and every time it's time to pay rent I have to pay it and I pay for groceries when we go out I pay and I just make more money I work more but we're both in university he has a lot more hobbies but so do I I just choose to work more because I ended up paying for everything and I just feel like it's not very fair for me I know that and I want to do something about it but I don't want to cause any conflict I don't want to be mean to him because he's always very nice to me he does a lot

housework and stuff and he's just a really good boyfriend however I'm paying for everything even though we're both in university at the same time so let me know how I can deal with this love you thank you bye hello okay I think this is something that a lot of couples fall into just because it is so easy to fall into habits you know you're paying for everything him not realizing it's happening and getting a free pass without realizing it happens okay what i don't want to happen is have you have animosity build between you two because you keep paying for things and realizing and getting more upset and he just keeps not realizing and going on about his day like it's perfect um so if you are a really good couple if you are able to you know work together and

be together then you should be able to have healthy conflict it is okay to bring up things that you are having trouble with within relationships dare i say okay i don't care what trauma you've been through i don't care who has told you the opposite i am telling you right now it is okay to bring up things that make you upset within a relationship the key is you should be able to sit down bring it up have a conversation where you guys are working together to find a means to an end so you both feel better instead of you bringing it up and then being on the defensive and then kind of berating him to the point of making him feel bad or him maybe coming at you to the point of making you feel bad and you retracting that's not working together that's

not healthy conflict you should be able to sit down to talk about it to bring up how you feel um to express how you feel and to talk about how you would like things to be in the future that is a-okay and that is very important and being able to do so will only make your relationship 10 times stronger okay so if i were you i would be like like the i get like when somebody just accidentally starts picking up more tabs than the other but when it comes to like you paying rent and groceries and going out like it seems like this shit's adding up so if i were you i'd be like hey i know this has been happening for a while i'm not sure if you've realized it but i am unable to continue doing this and i need this to be a 50 50 partnership i need us to be able to

work together on this stuff like the same way you guys work together on emotional intimacy and on probably whatever issues you have together you guys need to be able to work on financials together as well if you are if you guys are going to be partners so straight up i would just be like hey i don't know if you've realized um i feel a lot like your sugar mama right now and um i need this to be a beneficial relationship for both of us um whether it means him getting another job or picking up more shifts um just be like it's really stressing me out trying to pay for both of us when we are both in the same um same kind of predicament in life like you're both in university you're both um you know kind of probably the same age going through the same things you're both

having similar struggles um you both should be able to pay equally within the relationship and like take turns paying or you know someone picks up the bill here and then someone else picks up the bill here i think that's totally fine within relationships that's what you're good with and absolutely but when one pressure falls on one person i think it is a lot of pressure especially when you guys are maybe not super financially stable yet like i get it we're young you're in university like you're just trying to pay rent and make sure you can have a little bit of fun here and there um and prep for your future so i would just sit down and have an honest conversation about it i understand that that would be super frustrating and it does get frustrating after a while but i

don't want it to get to like a boiling point where you're like i'm done i've paid for everything blah blah blah like you're freaking out like because it does get there i get it holding shit inside is just a ticking time bomb so i would just bring it up say hey i want to sit down have a conversation like this has been putting a lot of pressure on me and i don't think you i don't know if you've realized but i cannot keep doing it anymore and i need you to start picking up some stuff um so and if if he's a good boyfriend then i think that would be a very normal fine dandy request i can't lie um i can't afford to take care of two people that's why i don't have a fucking child you can't afford to take care of two people that's why you don't have a kid

that's why he doesn't have a kid okay so you guys need to be able to take care of yourselves and that means him paying for his part of that shit you know what i mean but i say bring it up i'm sure you guys will be able to talk about it have a fine conversation about it but i would just bring up um hey i can't do this anymore it's putting a lot of stress on me i would appreciate if you um picked up some of the bills you know i think you proposing a option for how to fix things is the best way to go about it because if he doesn't go if he doesn't do it and he doesn't hear you out and he doesn't make changes to kind of you know figure himself out then that's where the issue lies okay so bring it up see how it goes i guarantee it'll probably go better than

you're thinking someone said hairdresser messed up my cut i'm gonna need some emotional support the only emotional support i can give you is my worst haircut story ever um the lady who gave me my bangs the first the first time she gave them to me incredible wonderful amazing okay so little me was like okay you know i got family photos i need to go get my bangs trimmed because they're way too long um and get a little cut you know and it'll be easy you know she did them before they looked amazing so let's go in i went in she's cutting them we're just chit-chatting doing our thing and you know when they're wet they look perfect you know she's trimming them and then when they dried and she curled them i went from 70s bang and boho babe to

fucking micro bang madness like mini bangs like maybe an inch and a half of bangs like i was shocked like you know when you're in the hairdresser's chair and you start crying and they're like oh no you know what i mean literally that sinking pit feeling she didn't make me pay for them she felt so bad i was like fuck and now and i had to go to family photos with my bangs like that and i had to straighten them i couldn't even like slightly curl them because they were way too short to even do so and so we did these big family photos and like union station of kansas city and my mom paid hellish money for them like this bitch was editing out people in the background so it was like we were the only people in there like skilled photographer and she

she blew the fucking photos up to like three feet by five feet like framed photos and they're hanging in my dining my dining room my family's house so every time i go over there i just see these horrible awful micro mini bangs and me like fake smiling laughing in the photo and i'm reminded every single time of why i will never ever go to a hairdresser ever again i've been cutting my hair since then for like a good three years maybe two like i can't lie it has been little old me with scissors in my bathroom is it a good idea probably not is it healthy for my hair probably not but am i saving money and avoiding trauma yes yes i think it really builds character bad hair builds absolutely so much character i can't lie anyways with that being said i gotta

get a move on on my day i gotta get going i gotta get some more shit done i also most importantly have to take a poop so i gotta let you guys go i love you all i hope you have a wonderful wonderful weekend um i'm gonna keep posting on patreon keep doing some updates on my instagram once again all questions submit them to my instagram at hannah marlene um and i usually post the questionnaire on sundays so watch out sundays are the go-to day um but yeah i hope you have a great weekend i hope you're safe thank you for all the wonderful questions that you guys did submit um if you want to look out for any extra special podcasts or um just content in general you can check out my patreon it's under smokes as shoddy and i will see you all again for some more

podcasting some more drama some more fun some more tea some more unnecessary facts about anna that i'm going to share on the internet um on tuesday i love you all so much have a great rest of your day