Smoke Sesh - boundaries, dating apps, career & cheaters (video episode)

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

Hello Hotties! Sorry about the late upload with Tuesdays episode but thank you all for being patient, today we have a fun little cozy video episode for you all to enjoy! We chat first about a few of my current favorites and how January has treated me so far, then we jump into some questions including feral girl era post breakup and allowing yourself to let loose a little, posting on socials and being shy on social media, how to handle other people who are in a chronic bad mood and setting boundaries, cheaters and my hot take on the Ariana Grande situation, red flags and rose colored glasses, learning from past relationship mistakes, dating apps and not taking them too seriously, safe sex and how to have the best sex as well as setting boundaries, career and navigating adulthood, trauma, children, full moon updates, blood magic and period sex, getting attached and how to let someone down easy and much much much much more! Remember to follow me on instagram @hannahmarlene for all updates and to see what I'm up to, and join the pattern @smokeseshshawty for more exclusive content! Love you all and see you next week! MUAH!

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Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello you guys welcome back to another beautiful amazing wonderful episode of smoke sesh i'm so excited to be back with you guys hanging out on this beautiful little thursday i hope you enjoyed tuesday's episode it was a quick little episode just

because i wanted to get to this one and hang out with you guys face to face a little bit um we are rounding out the month of january and i have i kind of love january but also it's felt like it has gone on so fucking long i have no idea why maybe it's because i'm really just focusing on me myself and i focusing on what i want to bring into this life and my daily routine speaking of which there's a few things i've added to my daily routine recently that i have loved i have absolutely loved okay i wanted to share it with you guys because on the video i can actually like show you products that i enjoy so you guys can visualize it a little bit but first of all i am a lip balm connoisseur okay i have tried every single lip balm every single type i love an

aquaphor but i feel like it sometimes gets a little too greasy i want something a little bit more moisturizing even though aquaphor is like the most moisturizing thing to ever exist um i wanted like a little bit of a flavor to it or whatever um and my boyfriend got me this for christmas but it is the best it is the lineage um just lip balm except for it's not in that ugly ass fucking tupperware i don't know what to call it whoever's idea it was that i needed to get in a pot and dig it out with my finger is awful and horrible i don't want to do that in the middle of work i don't want to be like walking around a store with dirty ass fingers digging it in to get my lip gloss and wiping it all over my face and then having my fingers covered in lip gloss i need a

simple packaging they find it finally put out like a good packaging with like the lip applicator top this is the best it's like eight bucks cheapest lip gloss on the market or not lip gloss lip moisturizer on the market but it's the best um i also got a little haul from glossier shout out um but they just released an eye cream and i've actually been looking for an eye cream i use a morning eye cream it's the yerba mate wake up eye cream by good molecules amazing love it but i can't use it at night i feel like it is just a morning eye cream and glossier just put out a new eye cream they've actually never released an eye cream before um and it is just gorgeous it has this glass tip applicator that allows you to get just like the perfect amount without

oversaturating um your face or getting like the packaging dirty it is so nice so refreshing to put on every night um as a part of my nightly routine and last but not least another glossier product i've been wanting to try this my skin has been so dry because of this winter i'm talking i lay down and it feels like my body is like cracking apart piece by piece it is the worst feeling ever and my skin has never been dry before i've been an oily girl my entire life like head to toe so oily i've never dealt with this so i didn't know what to get and i wanted to invest in a body oil um and glossier has their body hero body oil wash but i wanted just a oil this is spray-ons it doesn't get too messy and it's really easy to apply and it also has this beautiful

fresh floral jasmine scent it is so perfect my skin has never felt better like i had the worst cracks on my hands and my arms on my shoulders two days of putting this stuff on healed i basically just freshly came out of the womb i am so soft um and i go to bed smelling amazing and wake up smelling amazing like i honestly sometimes just don't need perfume usually part of my daily routine is i'll put on a little perfume in the morning so i smell a little fresh you know smell good but with this it's not like overpowering it's just a light floral jasmine scent and it is perfect so those are a few things that i've added into my daily routine on top of my daily workouts on top of my daily water intake but i really have been focusing on my body my mind um and

everything you know within that realm also my one health thing of the month is i need to go get my teeth cleaned so oh why do i hate the dentist it just feels so invasive laying there with my mouth open that wide i'm just like this is not fun for anybody involved in my opinion not that i have bad teeth or anything it's just like an avoidant personality of mine i hate going to the dentist so i have to get that done before the end of the month that's the last like health thing i have on my list and it after that it will have been a pretty good pretty good formative january um especially just focusing on things that make me better that i can include in my daily routine that get me looking forward to the rest of the day um i spent last week at a red light therapy

sauna as a part of my little self-care routine adding a little fun thing for me to do a little activity high brain that gets bored all the time let's not do drugs let's do yoga and go to red light therapy sauna who would have thought that would have been the the pivot my life would have had but here we are i'm feeling way better um and it was so fun it's so nice to do a little self-care activity for yourself in whatever form that works best for you um it's just so nice to treat yourself and really take a moment to look inward and focus on you being able to do that is such a pleasure and it's only like 20 bucks and I do it once a month and listen that's like a chipotle burrito so I might as well get an hour of just like nice formative self-care time rather

than a chipotle burrito maybe a chipotle burrito afterwards but in the grand scheme of things pretty cheap and a great way to treat myself especially on these cold winter days oh my god everything's covered in ice we still got a bunch of snow outside which honestly is way prettier than all the dead trees and leaves i'll take it um but my god this winter has been so cold so getting myself immersed in like 140 degree temperature room and sweating it out and sitting under like a sun lamp like a lizard great fantastic way to self-care this summer or this winter amazing anyways i want to dive into some questions i got through about half of them on Tuesday's episode so I'm gonna get through the other half today if you feel like your question

has never been answered please keep submitting it I promise I'll get to it especially now doing two episodes a week I should be able to get around to everybody's at this point eventually but let's dive right in um first of all someone said bae I just got out of a long-term relationship all the love to him he's a sweetie pie okay seems like pretty healthy breakup and I feel I need to go feral tips for staying true to who i am and not losing myself during this period of my life or is that the point to lose it and rediscover who you are tips for feral girl season in general i listen no matter how healthy the breakup is i think it's even healthier to have like a little feral girl moment especially when you've been so good and relationship focused and focused on

yourself and focused on your partner it's okay to lose your cool for a second and go a little crazy and make some fun memories and make mistakes and try new things um and i really really recommend just like a feral moment for all post-breakup girlies okay you can self-care you can self-love all you want but until you get out there and go experience and go enjoy life a little bit that I feel like is the biggest formative thing especially post-breakup um I feel like there's a certain way we need to conduct ourselves during relationships which of course is very healthy and needed during a healthy relationship um but sometimes you know post-breakup girl go out to the bar go flirt with boys go home alone go you know I'm not going to recommend hooking up with

random people please please be safe please have safe sex I'm begging you but you know go out and have a crazy night with your girls go get a little too drunk go have a fun party throw a party for yourself throw a post-breakup party get a little crazy with it you know what i mean i feel like that's really healthy and especially when you're doing with friends um it's a great way to kind of bond and share in that experience and also kind of rediscover your individuality rather than you as a person in a relationship you're rediscovering your individuality as a as you you know healthy have a feral girl season and I think it's very important during this time to emphasize it's okay to make mistakes you're going to make mistakes especially

during a feral girl era okay you're gonna talk to some ugly men you're gonna get a little too drunk and black out you're gonna maybe make some mistakes or behave in ways that you are not going to in the future and that's okay it's a part of learning a process don't be too hard on yourself be kind to yourself show as much self-love as you can don't get too crazy to the point where you're losing yourself in the feral girl energy and becoming a monster that's unhealthy it's a fine line okay if you need a week and not with the girls go take a fucking weekend out with the girls if you need to go drink and have fun please go do so if you want to throw a party indulge all right even if it's a healthy relationship i feel like

it's a great way to kind of celebrate the ending of something and also celebrate the beginning of a new point in your life love it I also ordered a coffee for myself I don't ever do this but I'm out of oat milk and all milk in general and I can't just take an espresso shot to the dome raw I can't so I had to order one don't kill me I know I tell people not to order coffee but every once in a while you got to do what you got to do all righty someone said tips for creating content from the heart getting over shyness on socials girl i just open my phone as soon as i have a singular thought and i type it out and i make a fun video and i post it it really is that simple it is and if you think too much about what other people are thinking of you whether it's in

a social media aspect whether it's in like a general life aspect you are not going to be living your life for yourself you're going to be living your life for other people and that's just simply not a way you should ever live your life um because then you're not living your life you're living a life someone else's life but not yours that's not healthy um and if you want to post on social media if you want you took hot photos you want to post them on instagram if you you know want to make a vlog if you want to start a youtube channel nothing is stopping you but yourself nothing if you if you're like oh other people's opinions are stopping me no you're stopping yourself you are thinking too much about what other people are thinking of you when in fact

most people are not going to think of you they're probably generally going to be pretty supportive no matter what but also they're not going to be thinking that much about you no one is going to be behind your back hating that much and if they are they're a fan if they're thinking that much about you even in a negative way they're a fan and it's an extra view for you so it's a win-win situation stop holding yourself accountable for other people's emotions and other people's feelings when it comes to things that you want to do for your life you know what i mean enjoy have fun try new things post whatever random thoughts you have on the internet now i do think there's a code for internet safety and don't just be spreading random family secrets or secrets for

yourself or you know embarrassing content just in the sake of views i think there's a lot of people slutting themselves out on the internet in order to garner views and that is never worth it i think there does need to be an air of secrecy for yourself and your own personal life compared to what is put out there like i put a lot of shit on the internet let's be real girl you listener have heard some crazy shit from me and i'm sure you're like she shared everything no i feel like especially with content creators and people who do share a lot in the internet they're still like part of themselves they keep holy and true and keep inside and that's very healthy um and very real and i think it's important to have a fine balance between the two so don't just be slutting

yourself out for likes and views please but if you have a silly little thought and you want to make a fun little video with your friends girl go for it no one's stopping you but you have fun stop giving a fuck what other people think usually they're not thinking and if they are thinking they thinking about themselves not you someone said my boyfriend has been grumpy because of this weather and it's low-key bothering me hmm i don't have time for people who are like like i understand being in a bad mood but at some point i'm gonna be like hey i've noticed this behavior i noticed you're not feeling good is there anything i can do for you i feel like whenever you find yourself being around somebody who's consistently in a bad mood that's the one thing

you can really do is show up and be like hey I'm here obviously as a person who loves you I want to help you let me know how I can do that so I can do that but there's nothing I can do and if you are not unable to ask me for help then I am going to do my own thing and I'm going to be over here doing my own thing until you can do so I feel like that's a very healthy way to go about people just constantly being in a negative emotion a negative feeling without taking it on yourself hey I'm here for you I want to show up for you but I don't know how because I've tried and you are still consistently in this bad mood so either a I'm going to let you deal with this on your own and figure it out yourself or b you're going to communicate what you need from me and I'm going

to be able to help you accordingly. But until then, I'm going to keep doing my own thing over here while you do your own thing over there because I cannot take on this emotional toll constantly every single day. I think it's a very normal human thing to get stuck in some of those negative emotions. It's very easy to get stuck in a negative thought spiral and to stay there. it's easier to stay there than it is to think happy thoughts or maybe i'm just like chronically depressed one of the two um maybe it's easier for other people to be happy hmm but for me personally it's harder it's a challenge every single day i gotta wake up and choose the right side of the bed you know what i mean um and sometimes you need a little extra push but also you can't push those

emotions and those feelings onto the people around you um when i find myself being in a negative place i i tell i tell my boyfriend i'm like hey i'm not feeling great i don't want to put it on you i'm going to be doing my own thing for now um and of course as a partner he's like i'm here for you i'm going to give you space if you need it but also if you need something for me and if something's going to make you happy let me know so i can do that thing but until then people need to handle their own emotions show up for themselves um and verbalize what they need from other people instead of making their emotions other people's problems I dated a chronically angry man for a long time and the best thing I can tell anybody who finds themselves in a relationship with a

chronically angry man is it doesn't end if they don't want it to and unless that person is actually seeking help or seeking change or asking for help it's not going to stop unless they do so and some people want to be stuck in that place it's very easy to be stuck in that negative mindset and some people want to stay there and recognize that when that's happening um you can only give so much to a person until it starts taking from yourself um and when you find it taking from yourself sometimes you got to take that next step and just bye i need to go live my best life and i did and i feel great for it anyways we've got some more questions to get to cheers asmr all righty oh god thoughts on area grand area grande ariana grande and cheaters in general

um after that song yes and came out it was very clear that area grand area i'm having a really hard time for with her name ari miss ari uh she's never been punched in the face before because if some girl came into my relationship and was deliberately looking to take my man away from me keep in mind i have a newborn baby on my hip keep in mind this is the only relationship we have been in for 10 years since high school this is the love of my life we're married we just had a baby and a girl comes into my life and she holds my baby and looks me down the eyes and goes i can't wait to have kids and then goes after my man deliberately because that's what she's into i would be locked away in a federal fucking prison for the rest of my life

this is not a threat towards her in any sort of way please don't cover me but it is just a general observation is that she goes after men because she has like a kink for it she she enjoys being the the taker she likes taking from other women and that is so embarrassing that is so embarrassing anybody who is standing beside her and is like she can do whatever she wants she's hurt she's she's gonna make mistakes girl this is mistake number 15 how many men is she taking at this point this is a problem also he's ugly this is the ugliest man i've ever seen in my entire life and i know he's not throwing down good d so i know the only reason he or she went after him is because she knew she could take him and she feels better about herself when she takes other people's

men and that is like a big part part of the problem and the psychological problem when it comes to people who um go after people in relationships is they do not fulfilled with they do not feel fulfilled within themselves and the only way they feel fulfilled with them themselves or loved within themselves is when they feel like they're getting picked over somebody else and the ultimate way to feel that way is if you take somebody who's in a relationship already that is so fucked up that is a huge problem girl you need psychiatric help you do not need to put album out i'm concerned quite frankly yeah big issue um how do i feel about cheaters i feel what do you mean i don't feel bad for them it's just embarrassing and ugly and yeah psychiatric

help but once again if that was me if i was the wife in this situation oh girl oh girl there would be no holding me back i'm talking federal prison not only for me but for her she deserves jail that is insane that's horrible horrible awful and every single time i see a tiktok or i hear about it i just feel so so bad not for her not for him but for the wife like are you kidding me and for every other girlfriend who has been put through the same exact situation because of her oh it makes me so angry so angry I just went through a breakup and you actually responded to my um message about being broken up with completely out of nowhere over text um and I really appreciated what you had to say but looking back on the relationship

I feel like I'm realizing how many things were toxic and like not okay just reflecting but I'm also wondering how do you realize those things while you're currently in the relationship because it's so hard when you're clouded with like liking this person so much and being so happy but then when you reflect on it you're like oh that was fucked up that was fucked up too oh rose-colored glasses is a very real thing when you're in love it's very easy to overlook the negativity the bad things um in the name of love in the name of maybe they can be a better person in the name of oh we're human and we make mistakes girl you three strikes and you're out okay you cannot keep making the same mistake over and over and over again and it sucks getting out

of a relationship and looking back and being like oh i was being held hostage what the fuck was i putting up with like what was going on that's insane so i think it's very very healthy and real when you're in a relationship to do like internal work and maybe weekly or monthly sit down with yourself and ask yourself like am i happy is this a healthy relationship am i feeling loved and supported and consistently if you do this week after week after week and the answer is no i'm not happy oh last week sucked again oh we fought again this week uh this week was pretty bad as well once you keep seeing that pattern because you are doing that checking in and you are asking yourself how am I feeling emotionally you're you're going to recognize the pattern way earlier

and you're going to be able to understand oh I'm unhappy every single week and it's been six months is this a relationship I need to be in you know is this healthy for me is this something I should stay in and if you're fighting that often or things are bad for six months yeah maybe it's not but i think instead of letting yourself get swept up in the relationship and feeling like you're out of control in a sense because you got your rose colored glasses on you're in love you love to love and give love and things are bad but they're really really good and i'm just going to keep moving forward and not really thinking about the past present or future much other than just like what i feel right now you're going to get swept up in a relationship and it's very easy to get

swept up in a bad relationship too so make sure you're doing check-ins um also when you get out of a bad relationship ask yourself why was it bad why did it suck what was i putting up with what are habits that maybe are bad for me are negative for me that i keep indulging in what are things that i keep putting up with that i shouldn't be putting up with recognize that understand it like literally write it down in your journal make a pros and cons list notes app it whatever you need to do understand your behavior and understand things that maybe you shouldn't let fly in the future so then when you do recognize those things in the future maybe a future relationship maybe just a relationship with yourself you're able to be like oh shit remember

six months ago when I wrote down in my journal I would never put up with that again yeah I need to stay true to myself six months ago and I need to make sure that I'm not putting up with that in a relationship now or within a situation now i need to make sure i'm prioritizing myself and i remember doing the work i remember thinking about this i remember sitting down myself and remembering that this isn't good for me so i shouldn't put up with it now you understand what i'm saying you need to be an active participant in your life you need to be thinking about interactions not overthinking analyzing moving on adjusting accordingly but you need to be an active participant in your life and if you just let life take over you and control you and you just go with the flow consistently

all the time you're not going to feel like you're living life you're going to feel like you're a victim to it and that's not a healthy mindset to be in so do the work think about what's good for you think about what's the best for yourself and adjust accordingly getting into dating apps thoughts don't take it too seriously the less seriously you take it the more fun you're gonna have i think um i i know people who have been in long-term relationships because of dating apps um i don't think there's anything inherently wrong with them um i say be careful about basing your self-worth on the um interactions and the adoration from other people it's very easy to become addicted to what people think um especially on dating apps so careful with that but the more

you treat it like a fun little game the better i think it'll turn out for you of course don't play with people's emotions take it seriously in that sort of sense but like have some fun with it life's about life's about having some fun and the less seriously you take it the more fun you're gonna have if you go on a dating app looking for a husband you're not gonna have a lot of fun do you know what i mean like don't take it too seriously how do i reiterate safe sex practices when guys don't want to use condoms etc you have your boundaries you state them before you have sex and if they make fun of you in any sort of way if they don't want to adhere to those guess what they're not getting pussy from you too bad oh poor them so sad girl fuck them you need to

hold boundaries within yourself and within your body and what is good for you and if these people do not want to adhere to those and listen to your boundaries they don't deserve to have sex with you they don't whatsoever there's no reason for you to feel bad um i understand you're probably gonna be like oh fuck i don't get dicked tonight but go buy a good vibrator and get off anyways don't lessen yourself to make a man more comfortable i tweeted this the other day let me pull it up because it was a good one and it's very real and i feel like it really applies to the situation um i said also my twitter is smoke says shawty if you're gonna follow me there i said every time a hot girl lessens herself to make a man more comfortable and angel dies so stop killing angels

uh fuck them and what they think safe sex is important sex that you enjoy is important you should never like lessen yourself or deprioritize your body in a sexual relationship and if they don't want to adhere to what you have to say girl fuck them tell them get the fuck out if they're not gonna listen to you and move on with your day you will find someone who will listen to you and want to have safe sex with you so don't wait around for these sleazy men okay someone said how to figure out your career um i feel like we put a way too much of an emphasis on career especially at a young age bitch i remember being in high school and i was like what 17 and they're like what do you want to do for the rest of your life i don't even know what my first

name is at this point like i don't know who i am i don't know my favorite color i don't know my favorite food i'm a child how the fuck am i gonna know what i want to do for the rest of my life which is why i try and let people know why do men with the smallest dicks get the loudest cars like we get it your dick is small you do not need to let the rest of the world know keep that to yourself in fact keep it a secret hide it away no one wants to hear that anyways i don't know why they expect children to understand what the they want to do sure i have hopes and dreams but girl once again i don't know my favorite color so how am i going to know what i want to do for the rest of my life this is why i tell people when

they go into college do not put an emphasis on a major if you can go your first year under undecided this changed my perspective when i was in art school dropped out of nursing school went to art school and the first year everybody's undecided no matter what you don't have a choice So you go into this thing called foundations and you do a year, um, in foundations, which is essentially you're doing every single art form that you possibly can, um, and trying out as many different forms of art as you can. So your second year you can declare a major. And I think this is the best way to kind of navigate college, go in undecided, try a bunch

of different things, figure out what you enjoy, follow that. That's the best way to be successful. but also you listen sometimes that doesn't happen and that's okay sometimes you mess up sometimes you drop out twice like me and then you're like what the fuck do I do life is all about trying different things finding out what you enjoy and following that joy when you can so if you're 40 and you don't want to you don't know what you want to do that's okay if you're 20 and you don't know what you want to do that's okay the best advice I can give you is just simply try as many new things as you can apply for that internship apply for that random job that you're like that could

be interesting um try out that new thing that you've always wanted to try um ask your friends how they're enjoying things and see if you can join in with them but try as many new things as you can in order to kind of discover what you actually like that is the best way to kind of figure out your career um especially in this day and age where everybody wants you to know exactly what the fuck you want and there's just so many options and it's so hard to decide it's so hard to get into the job force best way for you to really succeed in any sort of career is to try as many new things as possible and follow the joy when you find it um if you don't like something understand that walk away from it you don't have to stay in a career you don't like and it's never

too late to start new okay you're not too old girl you're 25 you're basically a baby i think when you turn 18 you basically turn zero again because then you're seen as an adult you know what I mean but you're not an adult you're still kind of a baby still kind of a child you're like a new adult so I feel like you go zero to 18 and then it starts over again and then you're at zero so 25 is actually five years old bitch I'm a toddler I'm still learning how to walk how to talk how to eat how to navigate my life and that's okay I need to focus on that but also I don't need to put so much pressure on myself when it comes to doing adult adult things that will come as long as I try and I put myself into new situations but I need to offer a little bit of forgiveness and a

little bit of time and understanding for myself um it's never too late to start new literally my dad retired what is he like 56 57 he retired started a new career I was like listen ADHD there's no retiring like i'm not going to sit at home all day and do nothing when you retire and you have adhd you find a new job just to have a hobby you know what i mean and this is something he's always wanted to do he kind of always wanted to have his own you know work from home do his own thing and then he finally had the time and the space to do it and he went after it and he's succeeding um i have a friend i just talked to the other day and i talked about this on the last podcast but you know she's 30 she's done everything she's been a bartender she's been a server um she

was a mortician for a while and now she's like you know what i think i want to do like x-ray tech like why not i think it'd be fun so i'm gonna go to school and i'm gonna try it it is never too late you have an endless amount of possibilities to try new things and start anew until you fucking die which is probably gonna be when you're 90 so don't pretend like your life is over and it's too late it's not it's just started get out there try new things experience life follow joy okay but yeah i think the best way to kind of figure out what career you want to do is to just jump into internships jump into surface level jobs see if you like it see if you find um just like any sort of drive within it and if you don't understand that don't push yourself just try

something new um with nursing i could have followed through and finished nursing school and became a nurse but guess what i probably would have hated my fucking wife so i made the hard decision i understood this isn't for me and i dropped out i tried something new and i went to art school and i was like you know what i love art i love art this is amazing the dropping out within art school was not related to me not enjoying it was related to covid um but i think about going back to school all the time think about starting anew all the time um there's nothing really stopping me it is all about just like you got to start in the fall um but yeah it's never too late try new things enjoy life follow joy um all jobs are good jobs there's no job that is like

menial or not worth it um as a bartender server i get that a lot um people just being like oh that's what you do it's like yeah bitch but you go out to restaurants and someone's gotta fucking serve you so cut the fucking attitude or else you're gonna get really bad food let's learn to be kind let's learn to show compassion you know what i mean no job is a bad job try new things do the best you can and once again follow joy anyways oh my god someone said girl i really have to thank you for teaching me how to suck dick life changed yeah i think the biggest thing that changed the way people viewed sucking dick and what i said was literally just have fun who would have thought that'd be the most life-changing advice when it comes to

uh sucking d is just like girl have fun you're in control enjoy you know get a little crazy with it who knew girls would be like wow that changed the game anyways love you so much love the pod love the community loving vibes but um i just kind of wanted your thoughts on like being in a new relationship with someone and like that person the other person kind of having um like some cheating trauma and then um like how to deal with that kind of just because like sometimes at least to me like i'm really free spirited and it comes across really controlling and like he'll be self aware and be like oh shit like i'm sorry i'm not trying to be controlling at all um but like this is kind of what i want and then we'll like talk it out come to terms but like still like it feels

really controlling and like I don't know how to like not get instantaneously pissed off when he's just like you know doing his best oh my god I love you girl that's so funny first of all it sounds like you're in a very healthy relationship you're both communicating you're both receiving um each other's energy and what you both need it sounds like the best thing you can do um especially since you're free spirited and you don't want to be controlled is just pre provide reassurance um it sounds like he's seeking reassurance maybe in a negative light where it comes off a little bit more controlling but in reality like when you go out with your girls he just wants to hear from you or like he wants to make sure you're safe and not doing anything crazy he wants to check in on

you and make sure you're you know having a good day so pre provide those things be like hey babe love you made it to the bar snap a selfie um hey hope you're doing well i hope your day's doing well maybe it's like a midday check-in you know just keep each other keep that line of communication open within the relationship don't like randomly run off for hours without speaking to them that is gonna freak them out especially if they have some past trauma um communicate what's going on and pre-provide that so then he doesn't feel the need to seek it out and sometimes maybe it comes off toxically do you know what i mean because listen i'm a crazy toxic bitch and sometimes i need reassurance and i don't know how to ask for it so i do something crazy and that's not fair for

me or my partner so i understand how that might come out come off like controlling in a sense especially when you're free spirited so understand hey you know he does have these triggers and maybe it's when i'm alone or when we're we don't have we're not spending time together or maybe i'm going out without him that's when it starts getting bad so pre-provide that reassurance spend quality time together beforehand let him know the plan keep him involved in your night out or your day um let him know where you are what's going on but pre-provide it so then he doesn't have to do anything crazy it sounds like you're in a really good healthy relationship though and that's amazing um trauma is real and we're all gonna do a little crazy things because we have

some trauma but the best thing we can really do is learn from each other um communicate adequately and show up for each other exactly how we need it sounds like he just needs a little reassurance so yeah I think you could show that and it's definitely probably not controlling unless he's trying to be like your friends are awful and mean you shouldn't spend time with them and you're not allowed to go out and I don't like when you spend time apart now that's weird and controlling and that's not healthy it doesn't sound like that's what he's doing so show some love show a little extra love sometimes and keep him updated on your life ask him maybe also what specifically triggers him uh you know what are the triggers that make you kind of feel this way that make

you feel um just like a little trauma rise up what brings out the trauma goblins and figure out what triggers him so then you know how to prepare and he knows how to prepare as well and then he understands that you're working together to make sure that you both feel comfortable and loved and safe because i know if i had some trauma or some triggers i would want my partner to do the same um to really look forward and seek out a healthy means of making sure that we are both feeling reassured and loved consistently throughout our relationship so love you um and yeah sounds like you're both doing amazing keep that conversation open keep talking about your problems and maybe triggers that rise up and keep showing up for each other ask each

other you know how can i show up for you but also sometimes you have to you sometimes it sucks to ask somebody to show up for you so just do it yourself you know children yes or no ever i think about this a lot i would love to have a little child but then i like think about i'm on my period and like my boobs hurt and i couldn't imagine being pregnant and like my boobs hurting and then needing to like breastfeed a child every two hours oh my god so hard shout out to all the mothers out there love you it's not mother's day but every day is mother's day let's be real you're a real one um i am fortunate enough that i can choose what i want to do with my body technically not in the state of missouri where i live so i do cross borders and go to kansas and i got myself a

little iud shout out to her constantly protecting me eight years eight years girlies no babies for eight years I've only had it for I think going on a year I I got my IUD one year ago like around this time I think it was right before Valentine's Day I got my IUD this is my second IUD my first IUD loved it fantastic amazing um I got the three-year one and then after I got the three-year one I was like we can't be changing this thing that often we need some time like I want this thing in me and i don't want to think about it and so i got the eight year one um and i have just been absolutely loving it it does take about a year for your body to fully adjust especially to a foreign object being placed inside of your uterus like your body's gonna have a little

abnormal reaction to that it's very normal very real but as a chronically overthinking but also not thinking enough girly the pill was not gonna work for me it just wasn't um i wasn't gonna take at the same time every day it was making my hormones all whack because I wasn't taking at the same time every day it was making me fucking insane I think it really really added to my personality disorder made it really pop and sparkle in a way that no one really wanted it to including me and so I decided I needed something that was more consistent within my life something that I could not have to think about but also provided me constant reassurance and the IUD was that and we are what is it four years baby free um but do i want children i think one day

eventually yes um i have worked with children for a long time of my life um my mom was a first grade teacher growing up so i always like to volunteer in her room and hang out there um and then i was a assistant for a child psychologist for a while um and i spent time with children who maybe needed a little more therapy than others and i went to court cases involving them um and i felt very compassionate about it and then i ended up being a two-year-old classroom teacher for uh four years i think i did that through college and during the summers and after school my junior and senior year so for a while i have always been around kids and i think there's so much to learn from kids and i think they're such a blessing and just like such a breath of fresh air being around them but the

best thing is about being around kids is returning them to their parents at the end of the day so i don't think i'm mentally prepared for kids quite yet maybe one day maybe when i'm a little bit more stable and less um selfish i think i'm in a very selfish era of my life which is healthy for me because i've been very unselfish and this is something that i need to focus on now um so once i enter that little bit mature less selfish stage in my life i think i will have a few kids yes i'm not gonna think too deeply about childbirth that just scares me so much but one day i'm like if every other woman has done it i'm sure i can like modern medicine has got so far that will i really feel a whole lot little epidural fantastic shout out to the mothers out there will i have

children one day probably when i'm like 30 i'm sure um but for now i'm having a great time just me and my iud it's fantastic love her she really is protecting me and showing up for me every single day and i don't know what i'd do without her also happy full moon day everybody uh we have a full moon today it's actually a leo full moon oh so exciting i love leo placements and i love leo energy especially as a gemini because it really fuels my gemini side that is very outgoing insane a little crazy a little self-absorbed absorbed but in like a very healthy real way um but the false first full moon of the year being in leo is really putting us onto the right path especially in conjunction with the pluto and aquarius which is very free-flowing putting us onto the right

path um making us really really focus on what is good for us but thursday at 12 54 p.m get ready for this one this is an opportunity to cleanse and banish all of the heavy negative energy that you may have accumulated in the past year of your life you might also find yourself feeling very fiery angsty sexual strong or volatile um take this energy and use it to free yourself from stale burnt out cycles in your life um if you're feeling that overwhelming energy maybe in a negative light maybe that is a sign that you need to rest relax take a break okay um maybe it's pushing you into passion towards something that you need to take a step into something that you maybe have been avoiding maybe it's pushing you into a place of releasing a stale energy that you don't want to

carry into the rest of the year um take this last month and look at it and ask yourself am i following you know my new year's resolutions what changes do i need to make accordingly what has been working what hasn't been working and release the things that maybe you don't want to bring with you. I think the best way to do this ritual wise, especially with full moons, is you take a piece of paper, small, cute, little, write down whatever you need to release, whether emotion, a feeling, a thing, white candle, cleansing energy. You can do a little salt circle around the white candle, put the white candle down, burn the paper, release, dump the ashes outside, blow it away, get it out of your house I think that is the ultimate best way to kind of ritualize release

during this full moon full moons are not for manifestations they are for releasing cleansing protecting your space in yourself and looking forward while new moons are for manifestations and really prioritizing and making changes within your life so that being said should we smoke should we hit the bong I think we should my boyfriend is a sweetie pie and he cleaned the bong for me um so shout out to him love him endlessly whoa okay good morning wow anyways a few more questions to get into before we end this podcast someone said oh period sex tips tricks words of wisdom illy um words of wisdom if you have period sex they're gonna be obsessed with you it's just like a very well-known thing within the spiritual community

in the witchy community that period sex is a very so your period is like very spiritual in an aspect that it is like a very connecting time to yourself as a woman um and it is very much so like although you don't feel at your most powerful because your body is going through a lot physically you are kind of at your most powerful place within the month and within that time is when you are on your period and involving sex and another person and that is going to get them attached very strongly which is why you hear the old wives tale like don't eat the spaghetti you know she cooks you spaghetti if you're a guy and she cooks you spaghetti don't eat it i'm not recommending this i'm just talking about lore um and it would have them attached to you like it's blood magic um

don't recommend but understand that if you do have period sex they are going to be very attached to you it's just a real happenstance in life let me tell you that blood magic is real i'm not saying go and trap them this way because i think a lot of the times magic doesn't work out exactly how you want um you have to be very very intentional about the way you do things or else the universe is going to kind of throw you a curveball it's kind of like you know a genie in a lamp you got to be very serious about your wishes and what you're asking for or else they're going to put a fun little twist on it that's gonna change the way you view it and be kind of like a life lesson i feel like spirituality and magic is very similar so it's not something to play around with

be very very careful but if you are gonna have period sex of course make sure it's with somebody that you actually love and enjoy and want to do it with um and tips and tricks i don't think there are very many tips and tricks um if you're on top it's gonna be pretty fucking messy so just like careful but also you need to understand it's going to be a mess i think the best way to kind of have period sex easy is clean up just go into the shower have some fun in there shower off rinse off maybe take a bath afterwards and then you're good to go um maybe lay a towel down if you need but also be very careful about your intentions during this time someone said i've totally led this sweet boy on and now i want to let him down gently any tips listen i get it sometimes you know you're

like whoops did not mean to get him that attached talk about blood magic did not need mean to do that oopsies now what the fuck do i do because ghosting is not allowed not in this household you're not allowed to ghost you either voice your emotions like a real fucking adult or you're a bad person anyways i think the best thing you could really do is just be honest um he deserves honesty and he's only going to get more attached and more hurt the less you tell him um especially when it comes to ghosting you're leaving like an open end that he wants to figure out the end to and it's just not fair i think the best thing you can do for somebody is to just let them know like hey maybe this isn't the right relationship for me maybe hey i found someone

else um hey i want to be single maybe we aren't a right match whatever it is let them know i feel like that's the fairest thing you can really do for somebody and then cut contact um of course no open ends close that end give them the answer that they deserve and be honest about it like don't be like brutally honest where you're kind of hurting them in the process unless they deserve that because they're rude and mean and awful and have broken boundaries but if they're just like a genuine nice sweet guy that you accidentally who got a little too did not mean to let him get too attached just be honest be like hey i don't want to be in this relationship maybe you're not the person for me somebody out there will love you more than i can and then cut contact um don't

allow contact to keep going on you don't really owe any other responses after that um you've given the response he's gotten the answer uh cut communication after that but don't go ghost completely without at least closing off that circle you know what i mean anyways i love you guys so much thank you for being here thank you for being you it's another beautiful little tuesday i am hanging out for the rest of the day doing a little self-care really just it's my day off so i'm just chilling which is really nice maybe i'll do a face mask and take a nice bath but that's all i have planned if you want to hear more from me you know where to find me on instagram at hannah marlene um go listen to tuesday's podcast if you haven't if you want more content for me also join

the patreon hi patreon girlies i love you big kisses um i have so fun with so much fun with you guys on there and i'm hoping to do uh um either baked or baking baked and baking vid on patreon this week or my like a little uh closet tour something of the sort something fun i love hanging out with you guys every week and i feel so lucky to do so so with that being said i will see you all next week