Smoke Sesh - caring less & doing more

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Happy Tuesday! Todays podcast is filled with so many different topics but we talk overcoming what others think, supporting yourself, validating yourself, releasing control, male validation and how to escape it, plans for the future, all about weed, what’s in my bag and much much more. I have SO many more questions to get to so I’ll see you guys Thursday for another episode! Love you all so much feel free to submit any question you may have to the Instagram @ hannahmarlene

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to Smoke Sash.

My name is Hannah, your host. if you've never joined us before welcome it's lovely to have you if you're returning it is so incredible to have you as well i know so many of you guys are waiting on this podcast i'm so sorry i'm gonna try and get this out to you as fast as i can i woke up a little late today oops but to be fair i've been working like overtime these past few days like my weekends i rarely ever weekends to be honest i usually just work straight through because i make the best money um serving and bartending then so today i finally have a day off i'm so excited i'm gonna hang out with my girls do this um might go get some burrito or something treat myself to a little yummy lunch

i'm not sure i'm just trying to essentially make as much money as i can and prepare because i finally bought plane tickets somewhere i'm going to la the end of april i just need to go sit on a beach and smoke some weed like i really can't lie so we're only going for a few days but if you live in the la area if you've been if you have any tips tricks recommendations for anything you want me to see or anything that you would suggest any good beaches your favorite dispensaries i'll probably do some dispo hauls um but i'm so excited so i've just been working overtime so i can afford some cute ass clothes and a cute ass airbnb that's about it this weekend yeah just doing all that this upcoming weekend though i'm gonna see i'm so excited i get to go

see trixie and katya i know they're on tour and they're coming to my city and i have like I'm going with a friend of mine and um he got incredible tickets it's like row fucking like six in the center so I'm gonna be like front and center for Trixie and Katya I'm so excited it's gonna be so funny so good I can't wait to pull an outfit together I'm not really sure what the fuck I'm even gonna wear which is so stressful but it's really all I have coming up I don't have a whole lot to update you guys on I've just been working overtime you know how it is I feel like since it's the end of like the winter-ish months like it's been raining a lot here recently but since it's the end of the winter-ish months I'm just trying to work work work as much

as I can so then when I finally get my little break in April I can actually rest and enjoy and indulge you know what I mean like I don't mind overworking myself a little bit if it no if I know it's gonna pay off eventually which to be honest it always does so it's a little update for you guys my life's luckily not too chaotic right now thank god i'm in a pretty good place i can't lie i'm pretty excited for what the world's bringing me i'm so excited more of you guys are showing up every single day and listening i think we're at like over 11 000 of you guys showing up every week to listen which is fucking i don't even know it's insane insane i started this podcast and it was maybe 200 of you guys showing up every week and i

i really don't do much outreach for this podcast either i just figure you know when the universe wants it to show up in people's lives i guess it'll do so and it really has like i'm not gonna lie i can't believe we've gotten to over 11 000 of you guys showing up every week like i'm i'm almost at a million listens which is fucking insane i can't lie so thank you guys for showing up thank you for being here happy tuesday we have so many questions to get into like an insane amount i woke up to over a thousand questions plus over a hundred dms of like longer questions and i was working so hard yesterday i even almost forgot to fucking post the questionnaire it was like eight o'clock at night and i was finally taking the first bathroom break of my

fucking nine hour shift since it was so busy and I was like oh fuck I haven't asked any I haven't asked for any questions yet so I posted it and I was like oh you know maybe a few people will see this before I finally have to upload in the morning and literally thousands thousands of you so thank you thank you so much I'm gonna try and get to as many as I can today I'm trying to fit many as i can in um but let's dive in okay i am not gonna lie i just filmed like 50 minutes of content and i re-listened to it and i feel like i was just rambling and saying nothing so we're gonna take i know like a fucking we're gonna take a bowl i know it's a little early but i need to get my mind in the right place we need to get zen get going babes okay because i want this to be

good and i'm trying to articulate like this concept and it's just not working my brain and my mouth are not working together so we're gonna take a hit so they do okay if you would like to join please do i love when you guys tell me you're like have you guys been like every time i try and keep up with you every time you take a hit i try and do so too i'm like that is so funny don't overextend yourself also i'm not you know i'm not what do i have to say legally um i'm not condoning or trying to encourage any sort of DRUG use or me trying to make sure I don't get sued um no but if you would like to join me right now get our minds straight before we hop into this podcast please feel free to do so sorry it's a little baggy moment but it's literally about to

rain today I'm looking outside with a thunderstorm real hard it's gonna be a good little sleepy Tuesday and I need to kind of remind myself that it's okay to have relaxing you know slow days to kind of get my mind straight get my body straight feel kind of back on track with myself and I feel like I was rushing the podcast a little bit and you guys don't deserve that so let's hit this and then we're gonna dive into some awesome awesome topics and hopefully my brain will cooperate with me oh yeah okay let's dive into this let's talk perception let's talk overthinking let's talk oh my god maybe not maybe we're not talking maybe we're coughing whoa let's talk not caring what other people think about you okay I'm getting a lot of questions

about this recently not sure why not sure what's going on in the atmosphere in the world I think it's Aries season so we need to learn a little bit about Aries or learn a little bit from our lovely Aries which I'm surrounded by them at work but common theme within Aries they do not give a fuck what anybody thinks about them at all literally at all they are the most self-confident people I have ever met I feel like Leos yes their confidence but it's masked behind something you know what I mean Aries are just fiery powerful comfortable within themselves confident and I love it now that's just what the Aries I'm at if you're like bad I've had bad vibes from Aries period you're valid but at least within the girls they are always just so driven and

comfortable and confident so let's take a moment to reflect to maybe learn a little something from our Aries sisters but I I get a lot of questions about how do I not care about what other people think how do i stop caring um i want to do something but i'm afraid of what my town will think like anything of the sort i get a lot of those because i i mean i'm very open with the general public i'm not gonna lie and i'm very confident within myself and who i am and where i've come from and things i've grown from i'm very comfortable and confident and i think that is very much shown through this podcast um I share anything I want there's really no filter I treat you guys like I would my best friend and I think a lot of people see that and they're like how did you get

there and it was a question I was asking myself two years ago okay so keep that in mind like this has been a recent development because I'm not gonna lie a majority of my life has been me disregarding everything i want and truly feel within my soul that is so crazy to say but like for real for like a good 19 years of my life i was just like well what do my parents want what what does society want what does what are my friends what what are my friends doing what are they doing what maybe i should do that well what what's what does suburban people around me want you know like oh my god that's what I was following and we've already talked about that you can go in previous podcasts I talk about it probably like every other episode um but I was

just denying myself from my authentic self for a majority of my life okay so I think to understand confidence you have to understand not having it you do need to see both sides when it comes to Aries, I think that confidence just genuinely stems from inside. But for the rest of us, we, I think it's important to have the concept of positives and negatives. People who have spent, like, feeling negative their entire life will see such high, high, well, not their entire life. But, like, I was just spent a majority of my life just so sad. So sad and completely disregarding who I am. um so when I finally found just like a tiny piece of who I was like the tiniest little touch

the tiniest taste you know when you taste diet cherry coke for the first time and you're like oh my god this is gonna be an issue yeah that's how I felt when I first had a taste of like my authentic self um so I got that taste and immediately felt the highest high I've ever felt my life like I this sounds crazy I'm not even kidding um and it I although it was just like me maybe wearing like an outfit that was a little out there you know like like I felt comfortable in it I felt confident in myself but was not anything my family my friends or society would have ever wanted me to see wanted to see me in I was like oh my god what else I can do confidence is addicting comfortability within yourself is addicting and you'll realize that

once you kind of start making those changes okay but I think that genuinely is the first step start doing little things that you know make you feel good so for me it'd be like going to a concert that you know people might judge me for like oh you listen to them like what the fuck like especially EDM music I got a lot of shit for liking EDM music when I was or just even today um not gonna lie but going to those concerts and going to those spaces and having a great fucking time quite honestly really made me realize holy shit I need to be doing things that make me happy in my soul because they're gonna make me 10 times happier than listening to the person who was like no that's not and then being miserable with them okay so keep that in mind and then that's kind of

a good baseline we got to put down when it comes to this but when it comes to not giving a fuck about what other people think about you that takes time and patience and practice like i'm not even gonna lie i still kind of care about what people think about me i'm not gonna i'm not gonna lie with you guys but I've realized there is a line when it comes to control and I've also kind of realized the more I try and control my surroundings control the people around me control my future control my past control what i eat any of that i become miserable miserable control will kill you okay it really will i'm not even gonna lie i get so many dms from girls who are like i have my boyfriend's location and i have his snap maps and i have all this but i just i freak

out when he leaves the house without me and like I just I lose it and it's like girl oh my god like listen I have been there I have been the crazy girlfriend I've felt you you have to release control if they're gonna cheat on you it's gonna happen whether you have that location or not so choose your peace choose you having peace in yourself and your mind and allowing him to do whatever they want allowing your partner to be who they are and trusting in them because it has to be built on trust okay trying to control what you eat fucking i was in an eating disorder for a long time that's something i'm still trying to kind of heal from but like the more i try to control even if i was like like it started in a healthy way of me like okay having to calorie count for

class like i gotta learn about calories and then it just fucking spiraled into me wanting to control every single aspect about what i eat because i couldn't control the outside i became fucking miserable when i tried to control my future and a sense of not allowing myself to you know maybe be authentic with myself and controlling it to a point of i was forcing myself down a path that i did not want to be down of doing schooling and doing studying and going in a practice that i did not want to be in i was miserable when you release control on your life you become so much fucking happier okay i learned very quickly what it's like to be in other people's minds when i started posting on tiktok that's when i first was kind of like what in the public eye

you could say not in a kim k way okay i think we all know this but i was on the for you page quite often quite often enough that like the people around me were aware of my social media presence and people i didn't know as well sorry i have the hiccups um you guys ever like hit a bowl and you also like like swallow air and then you get like the worst hiccups oh my god i think the first thing that made itself very present to me although I was getting a lot of positive response and positive feedback to my TikTok videos because they were genuinely encouraging like I was just making encouraging videos for myself and people were seeing them and really you know hearing them and appreciating them which I love I love that I can translate well enough that

what is going on inside my brain makes sense inside other people's as well um and i love that this podcast kind of does the same thing but i would also get a quite a good amount of negative comments and negative response and i even like had a very close friend of mine well not very close but like I had known her since like a young young age completely just like all of these people got this crazy perception of who I was in their mind and I knew it wasn't me because what was happening did not make sense it made zero sense at all these random commenters I don't know these people I don't know them personally and what they're saying like yeah if I made a bad joke or if I'm fucking I don't know right if I'm doing something obviously

wrong and they comment on it I'm one to be like yeah heard I see that I obviously understand that this response makes sense but it was the fact that I was doing like overwhelmingly positive content and people would just have real harsh negative responses and I took it pretty personally at first like I did take it personally because I thought oh it's me I'm doing something wrong I'm not saying this correctly I'm not doing this correctly I need to alter myself in some way oh I need to change and I feel like some people even probably feel that way within their personal lives when somebody within their personal lives doesn't appreciate them for something they feel like oh my god I need to fix myself I need to change something's wrong with me something's

something i'm doing something bad but in reality you can be doing every single thing right and somebody will find something wrong with it because simply put they have found something wrong within themselves okay i quickly realized whenever i entertained any of those people I was reverting myself back to who I used to be the the person who would mold to fit in society so they wouldn't stand out the person who was just going with the flow of what everybody else was doing the person who was denying themselves of who they truly were and I realized me being myself should never make me uncomfortable okay but with that i need to understand and realize it's also going to make a lot of people uncomfortable and now i can say this so i'm

not doing anything fucking crazy like if you're a fucking weirdo like listen don't go out there being like i'm myself so i'm gonna show my dick to a bunch of people like no don't be fucking weird we're talking just normal self-confidence here I'm just making like positive content like I'm not doing anything crazy with my life I just want to reach people and have a positive impact but like you have to realize that within confidence comes other people probably seeing that and probably feeling some negativity towards themselves for some for whatever reason that is maybe they're not healed enough maybe they have trauma they need to work through maybe they don't feel confident with themselves whatever it is that's triggering them that's fine but that

is not your responsibility to fix you fixed yourself that is hard enough you found yourself you're putting in the work and the effort towards yourself that is unfortunately not even unfortunately thank god that is all you can do if i tried to spend all of my time talking in really getting to know and changing myself for every single commenter that said something oh oh babe we're at millions now we're at millions now no one gets cyber bullied quite like i do like i'm never gonna cancel because i'm not like a horrible person but like i uh like every single day when i was making those videos i get a good random hundred people just saying saying crazy outlandish shit and i knew i knew i was triggering them in some sort of way because the comments that

they had towards me the feelings that they felt towards me didn't make sense like didn't make sense at all i'd make a positive video and people would be like positivity is super toxic you know and I'm like okay not sure what to do with that one but I realized I can't take it personally I can't take it to heart because I'm going to become one of them I'm going to let these people drag me to the pits of hell with them if I entertain it if I give it any thought if I really you know put effort into entertaining the negativity you have to focus on yourself and focus on what you can do to better yourself as long as you are working on your goals you are working on becoming the best version of yourself continuously I'm talking every single day there is no such thing

as quite honestly the best version of yourself because once I die I will cap that's going to be the end of it you know what I mean but until that day I'm going to spend every single day becoming a better and better version of myself okay and some people just can't do that and some people can't get on board and some people think that's crazy or what you're doing is insane or you're sent from the devil themselves and that's okay they can think what they want because the more time I spend entertaining and putting effort behind those thoughts from them even if they make no sense the less time I'm spending on myself the less time I'm spending getting to know myself the less time I'm spending bettering myself and we don't have time for that unfortunately we got a

hundred years it's not that's not that long okay I'm not gonna waste my time trying to fix the unfixable especially when I'm not even fixed myself okay the more you worry about what other people think the more you're gonna hold yourself back the more you're just gonna dig yourself into a hole all right and it does take practice it does take time there there's still days where what people say get to my head where I'm having a bad day because of you know a negative perception something I can't control a friend I don't know just whatever happening in my life and that's all right that's fine but you need to take the time and effort to work through those things without putting yourself um aside and putting yourself down for it okay release control babes

release control i promise it'll make you so much healthier so much happier you'll feel so much more content with yourself and your relationships around you release it you deserve to be free okay let things come and go as it as they please okay let feelings come and go as they please let thoughts come and go okay stop holding on to things stop making your life more miserable than it needs to be all right there's only so much you can do within yourself and I think that's really what you got to focus on but other people's thoughts other people's feelings when they really are basically not based in reality and they don't concern you you do not need to be concerned with them okay okay i want to blast through a few questions and then um i have a

few more topics i want to talk about slash things i could probably rant about for a little bit um someone said having dating standards that are too high that i can't fall for anyone i don't think that thing exists i don't think there's anything as standards that are too high I think you're just looking in the wrong areas so just wait I I found a very great relationship I'm in a very great relationship it is like awesome this man is incredible I also had very high standards um after my last relationship but what I was doing is I was just focusing on myself I was literally not I did not need or want a relationship quite honestly and this fell into my lap and it fit perfectly and i think you just need to wait until something fits and makes you

comfortable in yourself and confident in yourself and you will find that but the best way to find that is literally to just go about your life doing everything you want to do okay people are always like how do i meet people do i want dating apps like no go to that concert you want to go to go fulfill yourself and meet people there along the way go to that bar you've been wanting to go to and then meet people along the way go to that restaurant you've been wanting to go to go to that state you've been wanting to go to go to that country you've been wanting to go to you have to go places try new things try new events try new classes doing those things to fulfill yourself will like unconsciously bring you around people who are also probably kind of

like you and you guys will fit well together do you know what i mean so i think the best way to final relationship is to literally focus on you I know that sounds crazy but focus on you fulfill you and then whatever you need will come along the way and yeah it takes time but it's okay to be a little picky okay it's okay to be very picky actually I think everybody in this world needs to be way pickier with everything around them okay with the food they put in their body make sure you're feeding yourself well make sure you're taking care of yourself be picky with the people you surround yourself with be picky with the partners you choose be picky with the family you let around you be picky with what people know about you with what you share like privacy is very

valid i understand i maybe have a different level of privacy than most people but it's okay to be picky okay but don't let men talk you down okay be picky all right they're not the one let them know and they can be mad if they want all right someone asked what my nighttime routine is which is really funny because my nighttime routine is like post-work at like 12 o'clock at night keep in mind i haven't eaten all day so i usually get home i slam some food that my boyfriend either bought me or that he's made or that i brought home from work i actually know i take a shower first first thing i do every night like when i get home is strip all of my clothes off and just get in the shower and just like deep steam myself because restaurants are fucking gross disgusting

and i need to get clean i also have to shower before i eat i know that seems contradictory but i feel like when i'm bloated and full in the shower i feel my worst like i'm not even kidding like i wanna i because i feel like i'm gonna pass out so i always shower and then i i always like make sure i wash my face really well um moisturize and then um occasionally oh i've been using this new bread hair oil love right out of the shower incredible it smells like kind of like fruit loops but like a bougie fruit loops like i don't know how to explain it but it smells delicious and then people compliment me because they're like your hair smells so good been using that my hair every night feels so luxurious and then I feast okay take a dab and then I pass out that's my

nighttime routine like I wish I could be like oh my god I I journal and then I let a candle and I meditate and then I do a face nope unfortunately there are none of those now my mornings my mornings are like that because I don't go into work um very early in the morning I don't ever work at any morning quite honestly um and the days I have off I really really enjoy having my mornings to myself I love a good cup of coffee and I love or like even tea I've been loving green tea love a good matcha moment um oh I put you guys on one week but my go-to drink recently has been a matcha latte oat milk a little bit of simple syrup just a little bit just to add a little sweetness and then an extra shot on top oh i'd like i just came no i'm kidding but i'll do that

i will always always always in the morning draw my card for the day out of my tarot deck love that love connecting with my cards um and connecting with myself and doing some like kind of inner work if that draws more to the surface i'll journal too favorite way to journal just dump mind dump do not write pretty this isn't taking notes in school this isn't writing your crush a fucking note scribble the fuck out of those pages write down anything that's on your mind just mind dump okay get everything that you're overthinking about out of the way so you can focus on your goals for the day all right i do that i do these under eye masks the peter thomas roth i think is what they're called love a good under eye mask moment and then i've been

painting a lot recently too i'm trying to connect back to my roots i've been feeling very inspired by i'm a mutual of mine who i i do need to shout out because they have an art installation in la right now but um hold on her name's just mackenzie on instagram her handle m-a-c-k-e-n-z-i-e um but oh and then TikTok is dumb Mackenzie but they recently did I don't think they've ever done they've done art but they've never done like a whole um art installation before and I kind of miss grinding like I did in college especially in art I'm not gonna lie but um they just completely put together all of these incredible pieces and a zine and did all this incredible work and has a gallery showing in LA right now and I was like I'm so impressed I kind of want to you know dive

back into my roots and touch back into working with art I miss I like I'm very creative person in all aspects of my life but I miss doing things like fine art I used to sit in my room every morning and every night and just draw and paint and color and fucking destroy my room but it was it made me feel good it made me feel comfortable myself and I miss expressing that so I've been doing a little bit of that in the morning i light a good candle drink some coffee do some stretching always my hips are always sore my calves are always sore from work so i always try and do that but i feel like my mornings are more sacred than my evenings are you a sacred morning girly are you a sacred evening girly i feel like you're one of them for sure um but my mornings i have been

appreciating way way more than my evenings recently just because i have late nights so let me know let me know if you're a sacred morning girly or sacred evening evening girly and then tell me your favorite way to honor your moments let me know because i i've been trying to pick up maybe new healthy habits so let me know if there's anything that i you know i've never talked about or special ways that you love to honor your time with yourself i would love to hear that and you can always just send that to my gms at hannah marlene okay let's talk what all the girlies have been wanting to hear male validation oh okay uh let's get into this i feel like i need another bowl i'm not gonna lie i also need to finish my banana my stomach hurts bananas are

the best though um i've been getting a lot of questions about this either i get questions from like how do i get male male oh my god male validation to how do i avoid it to how do i navigate it um it's very it's a very tricky and touchy subject i understand um especially with women because you know we are raised in a patriarchal society so you know we are quite honestly groomed from a young age to um cater to men like literally cater to men like think about all the disney princesses okay beauty and the beast it's supposed to be a love story about how she saw the best in a horrible ugly man even though he kidnapped her and held her hostage and forced her to do work um Ariel oh my god she put everything aside everything that was

beautiful and wonderful about her just to be with this man I could go on I I could go on I do not have time to unfortunately dissect every single Disney princess and Disney movie that there is but I feel like from a young age we are conditioned to cater to men and here's the thing when I was in high school I uh I feel like we all go through a boy crazy phase at some point okay and some people happens in middle school some people happens in high school sometimes college sometimes later but it happens at some point I do think that I mean I'm also talking about heterosexual women right now because that is kind of the perspective I'm coming from um I'm bi but I do unfortunately feel the effects of men um but I didn't go through my like boy

crazy phase in middle school or high school i went through it later like like middle of college kind of so i would say like 20 i think that's a good age um but middle school i was depressed high school i was on antidepressants so there was no sexual anything going on simply because i was trying not to die and my pussy was confused because you know what oh my god if you've been on SSRIs you know what it's like you your pussy is always confused the best way to put it um your just libido kind of gets fucked up so I got off birth control or not birth control antidepressants and then I think I kind of went through my boy crazy phase and unfortunately my boy crazy phase was just me completely changing myself and putting myself aside constant themes

good themes going on this podcast you know for men and i'm not even gonna say men i'm gonna say boys because that is the maturity level that they were fucking at you know what i mean usually same age you know if not older but um yeah maturity not there and what i have learned from this and what i have taken from this is male validation has never made me happy ever you can say it makes you happy you can say it makes you feel good sure but truly deep down look at where it's coming from look at who it's coming from does it truly make you happy no you know what truly does drive me self-validation that's what i've learned but where we need to dive into male validation like i said we're sold this idea that we need to cater to men that we need to put ourselves aside

that we need to find a man in order to feel happy and fulfilled in this life um i think this is also sold to me by like older people in my life such as like grandparents who had a very traditional way of thinking like my grandma was like get married have kids asap and i'm like girl you are insane what why would i settle for a man that quickly you know what i mean um but male validation here's why it will never ever make you fulfilled or happy i get it okay i get it it's hard validation feels good whether it's from anybody quite honestly but specifically under the male gaze being quote-unquote wanted or needed or feeling included or feeling that attention usually comes at a cost and it comes at a cost from you and it comes at a gain for the man okay

i mean if you're fine with that cool but it's something to keep in to very much so keep into consideration like i get it it's hard and it feels great getting attention from men because it's an ego boost but at the end of the day okay it's just an ego boost that is it it is not fulfillment why make decisions to be validated when the feeling of being validated is so fleeting okay fulfillment and true happiness comes from what you can do for yourself you can feel wanted from that man sure you can feel needed from him but does that really hold any say or really anything in your life no you're just gonna get hungrier you're gonna need more validation and you're gonna find it in worse places so it's the best the best thing you can do is quickly learn

that there's nothing that you can gain from male validation literally nothing i found this excerpt and i think it's very important to read i think it puts a lot of things into perspective um and it's good to hear but somebody said when i danced age 23 28 i'd watch men you uh use the same line on all of us oh my god you're the most beautiful girl in here you're perfect i've never seen anybody quite like you over and over again it's just words i make your pp hard but so does literally every other girl in here it's not special hell even adriana lima the uh victoria's secret angel said she doesn't let the attention go to her head because there are men out there who would fuck mcchicken sandwiches dudes act like their attention is

so special when they give it to literally everyone okay i think that is perfect no amount of attention will ever ever make you feel validated you're just gonna get crazier you're gonna have a cassie moment at that play breathing into that window okay you're gonna get more hungry you're gonna get more insane and the further and further away you are gonna get from yourself if you have a bad problem with craving male attention and doing things for male validation you need to go cold turkey delete all the dating apps stop dating men delete all the apps quite honestly and focus on yourself focus on you and yeah it's going to be a little painful at first but you will quickly realize that you've been running away from yourself running as fast as you can especially

because you're running towards male validation that's probably the opposite direction of who you want to be okay focus on yourself the most confidence I've ever had has come from within okay no male validation can ever make me feel as good as I make myself feel about me okay focus on yourself I'm for real go cold turkey cut out men if you need to I understand but I think it's very important to understand that male validation holds zero weight the only weight it holds is in quote-unquote societal norms and it makes you feel good because we live in a patriarchal society but in turn everything about the patriarchy is bad so should it really make you feel good no and it's something you should probably learn sooner rather than later although i think it will

be a lifelong thing for all of us to learn but i believe in you girlies okay good luck you guys we got our first ever podcast tattoo I know isn't that crazy I literally was just like looking through my dms as you guys know you can send any question you have to my instagram at hannah marlene and I someone sent me a photo and I was like what is this and literally they got a tattoo based on smoke sesh i was like i could cry right now that is so sweet essentially the story of it also i need to pack a little bowl so if you guys are interested pack in a little bowl with me let's get into it but um essentially i'm trying to find the screenshot of it i also need to post it i'll post it on the um podcast instagram but they said i love i've been listening to your podcast for a

few weeks now and you've helped me through so much i was really high and you were talking about love and you said love is everywhere and that shit was so profound to me at the time i wrote it down i got it tatted as a reminder to myself and others and they sent a picture and says love is everywhere and they put it on their hand and i'm like that's adorable oh my god i'm obsessed i love that i can touch you guys enough that um i'm changing your life in a positive manner and you feel the need to get tattoos commemorating i am obsessed with that if anybody else gets any other tattoos please send them my way please i would love to see how creative you guys get with it um what like speaks out to you i think it's so interesting when you guys will like say something

specific that spoke out to you because i'm not gonna lie i get on here and i ramble and i rant and i talk a lot so i do forget a little bit about what i've talked about before if i ever do like repeat myself where we go over the same topics or questions um so i love that like i i'm not gonna lie i don't even remember saying that like i love that it spoke to you so much though and it stuck with you enough to get that i'm obsessed because you know it is true love is everywhere and that is such a good reminder and i'm glad that you have that with you now forever i'm obsessed with that if you guys ever get any tattoos though based on the podcast oh my god send them my way like ASAP I would love to see because that oh my god I like could have cried I was like this is

the sweetest thing anybody has ever done thank you so yeah I'm gonna post a picture of that right after I finish this podcast but we gotta blast through the rest of this answer some more questions get into it let's hit this bowl okay and finish up so I can get this podcast out to you guys oh i need another one also in some other podcast news okay sometimes so i've like never told you guys where i work i just feel like i want a little bit of privacy within that but um some of you guys find your way into my work and i think it's really sweet whenever i'm out in public or even at work or just anywhere in general when people come up to me and they're like i enjoy your podcast like i very much enjoy it i thank you for doing this like that means a lot to me because i understand

like if it could be kind of uncomfortable to bring up especially if you're like not sure and then also like i don't know it's just strange to talk to new people so i appreciate when people do genuinely come up to me and i'm a little socially awkward or if i'm at work i'm usually a little busy so i'm so sorry if i don't ever um get like if i'm like awkward i'm a very socially awkward person all the hot girlies are socially awkward though um but the other day at work I was like finally done with my shift I was like fucking perfect let's go and I was doing my side work just cleaning off some tables and there was this table of girls sitting there and one of them like looked at me and they were like hey I don't want to sound weird or anything but I listen to your podcast

like it's like I love listening to it on the drive to and from school and I was like oh my god that is the sweetest fucking thing ever love that and it really stuck with me because like i don't know when people do say that to me it does mean a lot it means a little bit more than um if people say it online because it does take a little bit more courage to say it in person but i was the end of my shift and i was like okay and my friend was serving them so i was like hey come here we're gonna go give them some shots and i was like let me just go drop some shots off at their table i hope they have a good time and we all took some shots of soju together but i was like i feel like i want to honor you guys like as much as i honor myself i do want to honor you guys and make room

for you guys as well and it's very sweet when you do come up to me in public so thank you guys for sending me all the encouragement and for saying that you enjoy the podcast and for oh my god getting tattoos that is insane and mind-blowing to me thank you so much for supporting this and being here for me i couldn't do it without you quite honestly but we also have a lovely lovely sponsor for today's video if you guys have been smoking with me i have been mixing my um bowls half cbd and half you know good old flour for the mornings because as somebody who enjoys partaking in the mornings especially on my days off i need to be able to partake and also get shit done with the rest of my day not get lethargic not get tired not get that horrible

weed headache that you get at the end of the night um so to help my tolerance to help my lungs to help my brain and my body function focus i love mixing my flour with my cbd and smoking that whether it's a pre-roll whether it is a joint whether it is a bowl whether it is a little pipe I love it all and my favorite as you all know have heard this many a times 10 out of 10 my favorite is Paz Pax Paz Pax is an incredible company I've worked with them for years they're they're oh my gosh everything from their um like feedback to their outreach to their product to the quality of their product to the shipping and handling everything is incredible i love them so much and especially their cbd is top quality if you are somebody who does like to pay attention to

a little bit of like what they put in their body and the levels of everything everything has been lab tested they give you all of that information on their website if you do want to pick out like a certain type of flower i sometimes like to make sure i'm getting a cbd flower that i like um will pair well with whatever thc i have on me um and then as well if you like the little effects of cbd the calming not so much of a head high in fact quite honestly no head high just the overall body relaxed feeling um they also make wonderful um carts okay they make carts for delta a and cbd they also have incredible pre-rolls that i personally love giving out as gifts whenever my girly has a birthday coming up whenever my friends have birthdays coming up i love gifting

them a little pack of their incredible fatty i'm not even kidding pre-rolls they have like three or four different kinds they got a daytime a nighttime a whatever time you need type of strain but i am obsessed with them they are so supportive of me and they are so supportive of this podcast and everything i bring to you guys and so if you ever want to support them you can always use code smoke sesh for 10 off your order give it a try if you have any questions about um cbd or any sort of past packs always always send a dm i'd be more than happy to answer i love the effects of cbd and i think more people need to try it out i love it it's it's been life-changing for me quite honestly my tolerance is lower i um feel more of a capacity of what i can get done with my days

and i still get that wonderful meditative overall body calmness so if you're ever interested pazpacks.com or pazpacks instagram and um you can use code smoke sash for 10 off love you okay someone asked how do you get used to using a bong i'm obsessed with joints but when i hit the bong it hurts um i think bongs are awesome because i feel like they are a smoother hit than like a joint or pipe i'm not gonna lie but when you're loading a bowl don't load yourself a whole bowl and try and smoke that whole fucking bowl in one pull yeah you're gonna die no offense if you can do like a little snap does that make sense i think snaps are technically with tobacco but just like a tiny pinch like not a full bowl what you would usually smoke if you were cornering a bowl

okay fill that enough for one good hit that you can burn through and then try start from there but i think trying to smoke whole bowls at first is like yeah a little hard and personally i think it's a waste of weed so i like little just tiny little i guess what they would call snaps that's what i call it personally and everybody seems to know what the fuck's going on so yeah i think bongs are amazing though and they're probably a little bit better for your lungs just because the hit is smoother throw some ice in there if you can um but make sure you're cleaning that bitch out for sanitary reasons yeah joints are incredible and they're awesome for just like you throw them away easy one hitter done whatever um but oh my god they're called one hitters not

snaps i think snaps are technically tobacco i'm not sure but a one hitter i guess load just enough up for you in a bong and i think that's the best way to use it tbh or even a pipe i think just like little ones is the best way to go about it someone asked i used to love weed and now it makes me anxious thoughts i think that's totally valid i think i had that natural response to it um and i still kind of have that natural response to it if i overindulged or if i smoked the wrong strain or one that maybe doesn't agree with me um but I've definitely been in moments where it's just made me way too anxious and I take like long breaks from it like months to year long breaks I think that's totally valid I think it's important to look within yourself and understand that you know

maybe something isn't good for you and take the healthy adult steps to um you know not do that like although this is a smoking based podcast like I call it smoke sesh whatever I don't think you have to smoke and if somebody doesn't smoke i don't care do you know what i mean i'm not gonna hold that against them i'm not gonna you know judge them for that and i don't think anybody should ever feel judged for that i think everybody should always just make decisions for what feels the most comfortable and beneficial for them totally and i personally really enjoy weed so this is all this is what my podcast is based off of but actually no what my podcast is really based off of is in high school I had a finsta and it was smoke sesh that was the finsta name and so

I just like didn't want to come up with another name so that moved to tiktok and then tiktok took away that name and I did a play on that name that name which was smoke sesh shoddy and then smoke sesh shoddy turned into smoke sesh the podcast so although it is not like all about weed yes it is involved i think more so the quality of it is like um community you know that's what i'm going for i feel like everybody finds so much community and fun and fulfillment within a smoke sesh so many different great talks happen so many good interactions um and there's like this like specialness this holiness of the smoke sesh the smoke the smoke circle and that's what i want this podcast to be like i want it to be like a group of friends just hanging out having fun like

even at the smoke sesh there's people who don't smoke they're just there to have a good time you know what i mean okay somebody asked me the difference between joints bongs blunts i got you um so a joint is essentially paper filter um and what would be like a paper wrap okay and you roll it up very easy very easy okay they're really just like cigarette papers i guess um but yeah that would be a joint a cone is what would be a pre-roll so that um that joint is already rolled into the shape of what it needs to be but it's not stuffed yet you stuff it yourself and then you just twist off the top blazy susan has some great cones love 10 out of ten um i think in other countries they also call cones bowls i could be wrong i think in

australia they call bowls cones very interesting a bowl would be the piece that's connected to a bong okay that you put weed inside of a pipe is a pipe usually glass usually has what three holes one for your mouth one for the weed one for like airflow um a blunt is tobacco leaves so traditionally you have to cut them open take the tobacco out and then stuff them with weed of what was needed I specifically remember one of my exes lived next to um the like biggest production facility of blunts in the united states and florida and so every time he had them they were just like fresh as fuck and like wet do you know what i mean not like wet but like not dry which was like crazy but blunts are tobacco leaves i don't like blunts because tobacco makes me break

out personally i think it's very harsh on my body and my skin some people love them i think they're great occasionally um you can do hemp wraps which is a great alternative it's just hemp leaves instead of tobacco leaves um what other versions what else is there i don't know first time i ever rolled anything oh my god i was such an angsty teen i think i was like 11 first time i ever rolled or smoked anything i was insane it was never a cigarette it was never weed i took a sticky note okay made a little filter out of another sticky note and then i put tea leaves in there and i rolled it up and i went down to my local pond and i sat there and i smoked and i listened to lord i'm pretty sure or like lana del rey yeah and my doc mark doc martins that was

the vibe at fucking like 11 i'm insane i was predisposed to weed just because of that like that's insane I can't believe I did that no memories are floating back to me someone asked how do I clean my bongs dishwashing liquid doesn't seem to do it okay yeah no dishwashing liquid will never clean any of your pieces ever okay I think some people do like the dishwashing liquid and salt trick I don't think that works you need just alcohol I've seen people I saw a video today on tiktok of someone boiling their their bowl piece i was gonna throw up oh my god don't put your bowl pieces in your good dishware literally you just need alcohol what you're gonna do is get like your isopropyl alcohol pour it in there okay stuff a little paper towels on the like

mouthpiece and then in the stem you're gonna put some isopropyl alcohol in a baggie and put your bowl piece in there and you're just going to let it soak that's it soak soak as long as you can let it and then you're going to shake it up real hard and pour it all out and literally that'll clean it out you can give it a few thorough rinses with water make sure all the isopropyl alcohol is out of there before you start lighting it and breathing it in but that's literally all you need if you let them soak most you can do is take a paper towel or like a q-tip to the hard spots but i guarantee that will get everything you need out of it okay we're gonna do one last little bowl and then one last question and i gotta get this podcast out to you guys i gotta get some lunch i gotta get going

on my day um but let's load this bowl and then someone asked me what's in my bag tour so we'll do that because that's fun we'll end the podcast on a fun light note since we kind of hit it hard and heavy at the beginning i'm not gonna lie um but i personally are you a big bag girly are you a small bag girly i like big bags because there's a lot of shit i like to carry and have with me at any point in the day and i did use my tote bag for this for a majority of the time and then i had a small bag that i also carried um but then i sold all of my tote bags and i destroyed my other one in the washing machine on accident whoopsies um so i don't have a tote bag at this moment unfortunately my boyfriend is using the last one that i have he's a real one the tote bag

stays sensitive and dramatic and he carries it to work every day i love that um but let me know if want me to make more tote bags as well i've been thinking about it but um also i should have merch out soon oh my god so many detours i've been designing the merch i'm so excited um give me a few more months to get everything in order and we will have that oh my goodness and let me know like do you want hoodies do you want crewnecks what kind of things do you want to see it on um i have the logo design that i want done um i'm thinking grinders i'm thinking maybe water bottles let me know i'm interested i want to hear from you guys but i have a coach bag that i use that i've i thrifted for like ten dollars it's ginormous well it didn't seem big when i bought

it but it has so many compartments and rooms for things that's like perfect um so what do i keep in there i always keep my deck of tarot cards i do always carry those around with me um not sure why I just think it's important to have them on me for some reason and then I also have um I have one notebook that's blank pages and I use that for drawing doodles any sort of scribbling I need to get out of my brain and then I have another journal and that's lined like a regular journal and I use that for mind dumping journal prompts thoughts ideas I do have a journal prompt um um ebook in my bio if you go and check that out if you need any good journal prompts i have like a hundred in there and i think it's like eight dollars um but if you need some help if you want

to do some deep diving some inner work that's great um but yeah journal colored pens plain notebook i also always carry a good lip liner and a good lip gloss right now my go-to are the anastasia beverly hill and the dior lip gloss and then i also always carry around a tube of vaseline with me because oh my god i just my lips are so thirsty all the time it needs vaseline oh my goodness i always like to carry around some random crystals or rocks that i always find not sure they just find their way into my bag and i let them come with me that's about it but that's usually what i carry on me i usually carry a a joint as well or a lighter or a good dab pen one of those not sure which one but that's usually my go-to what's my everyday with me oh and

then a good water bottle always you always need a good water bottle but that doesn't fit my bag unfortunately but yeah let's smoke this last bowl thank you for joining me i'm sorry if today's a little shorter than usual i will be back thursday though and i will submit another questionnaire if you guys want any last minute questions to submit to me there um and also you can always always always feel free to submit them to my dms thank you for joining me thank you for being here this episode was so fun to do i really appreciate you guys showing up and being here for me every episode and so many new people are showing up too thank you for the encouragement thank you for everything um let's light this

have a wonderful tuesday i will see you all thursday