Smoke Sesh - change, finding yourself & the meaning to life

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

Happy Tuesdayyy an extra long episode for you guys Hannah chats Valentine’s Day & what she’s been up to, change & how to accept it, first times & first loves, finding yourself, accepting your body, sex Ed and answering your sex questions, and what the meaning to life is. Hope you enjoy remember to submit all questions to Instagram @hannahmarlene and I’ll see you guys Thursday!! MUAH

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Good morning, everybody. you know what happy valentine's day i know it's not valentine's day happy valentine's day i hope

you had a great one i hope you had a fantastic night i hope you bought yourself a little something special treated yourself nice you deserve it you deserve to feel love you deserve to get shown love um i worked all night um i'm so fucking exhausted holy shit um but let me fill you in on what i've been up to first of all welcome to smoke sesh i should probably say that um i'm your host hannah wonderful to have you if you're new welcome if you're a returning member welcome as well i think we're up to like dude like 10 000 people listen to this podcast every week like that's insane 10 000 of you guys gather every week to listen to two episodes that's crazy that is mind-fucking-blowing because when i first started this like maybe 200 maybe

and now we're at 10 fucking thousand thank you guys so much i love you all so much thank you for listening the endless support it's fucking mind-blowing um and i'm still kind of getting used to it but genuinely thank you so much for the support the kind words you send me and for just showing up and listening and hanging out every week it means the world to me um valentine's day what have i been up to oh my gosh i talked to you last thursday i think i just filled you in on what i what i was planning um well me and my boyfriend like i said i had to work last night so me and my boyfriend celebrated saturday because i also had to work sunday so i had all day saturday off so i was like we're both people who like to spend just like quality time together

um so i was just like let's just find a day like it's not i don't care about the whole pressure of doing something on valentine's day like whatever it's not that deep just like i want to spend a day with you you know what i mean so we woke up saturday and he drove me to so and i live in kansas city right and i love dutch bros i love dutch bros and dutch bros is like really only a coastal thing like a west coast thing really um and we have never had them in the midwest before until like a month ago a dutch bros opened literally in the middle of nowhere kansas like over the legends i was like i don't think anybody ever fucking goes over here i literally have not been over there in fucking years until i had to go get dutch bros he he

drove me to dutch bros we got some coffee oh my god it is so fucking good like it is so good and it's like a 30 minute drive but i debate taking that 30 minute drive every morning because i love dutch bros i need one closer anyways got some dutch bros and the best thing about dutch bros is we'll get like two giant ass coffees hold on let me take a sip of my coffee plus we'll get like um two rebels for later so we got like two more energy drinks for later because i was like it's gonna be a long night let's get into it so we got some fucking coffee and then we went to mashua's bagels got some bagels he rolled one up for us so we smoked a little bit in the parking lot of the thrift store and then we went thrifting um he got me some shoes

i found these really cool like baby pink converse so he got me those which is very sweet and then for lunch we ended up at this like uh jovito's i think is what it's called but it's like this italian little lunch spot um they have great sandwiches and paninis and stuff got that had some lunch we took a little moment in the afternoon to just like chill for a second watch some tv i try to take a little nap and then um i had this well he gave me my presents oh my god i wasn't expecting anything and like i understand shopping for me is hard because i'm like the pickiest girl in the world um but apparently well first of all there were these red boots that i really really fucking wanted like these i have been looking for red boots

everywhere like a good pair of red boots i can wear and i saw these crocodile red boots and i was going to purchase them until the seller took them down and i was like are you not selling them anymore did they sell like what's up and she was like oh they just have huge sentimental value so i don't think i'm selling right now i was like okay but i was heartbroken i told my boyfriend about that and so he secretly was like um sending her like messages on depop and was like will you please like sell will you sell the shoes to me like it's for my girlfriend's birthday like please i'm begging she still said no but um my depop legs are like so good like i have all my dream wardrobe in there and there was this one like a weed shirt which i've been looking for like a good

oversized weed shirt for a while that i was obsessed with and i saw it sell and i got so sad because i was planning on buying it and i was like like i remember sitting there thinking to myself like fuck that's like the perfect shirt and i totally missed the opportunity to buy it oh my boyfriend bought it for me i opened my package literally he had purchased it for me he swindled me he bought it out from under me so that was awesome that was a great surprise he got me that and then um some american apparel which was very sweet um and then um what else did we do holy shit oh i got him a little jewelry box and some nice earrings and then i also got him we ended up driving back to my house because like i had to plan this like

i was like as much as i wanted to happen at the night like i feel like i need good lighting so has to happen during the day i wanted to do a little sexy fun thing so um i went over i took him over to my house threw on some lingerie and then gave him a disposable camera and i was like these pictures are for you this camera is for you i just need you to take the pictures how you like them anyways things got a little freaky a little hot nasty and then we ended up at dinner which ended up at japanese barbecue i was gonna do like a home cook um like pizza or something but we did that the next night we made pizza together which was fun i ended up at japanese barbecue which is like our favorite thing and then we were gonna go to a jazz club but literally by the end of the

night i was so exhausted i had worked like the three days prior i was like i would be more than happy just to go back um and just fucking chill with you watch a movie and pass out so that's what we did and it was fantastic it was great um i did work valentine's day i i was there until like 10 10 o'clock i was like fuck i thought i was going to be there till nine i bartend all day today oh my boyfriend's so sweet i wasn't really expecting anything on valentine's day of course we told it to each other and we're being a little extra sweet but i showed up after my long shift and he had cooked me tostadas and he had a bouquet of flowers for me oh my god the best and i surprised him with like a bunch of valentine's balloons because i was like i want to get him a little

something on valentine's day you know just like a something something so it's fun that we both even surprised each other on the day of even though we celebrated early oh my goodness but i bartend all day today and tomorrow so i'm trying to mentally mentally prepare for that love i hope you all had a wonderful valentine's day show yourself some love um i've i hear like a lot of people that were like sad like oh i don't have a valentine i don't have blah blah blah and it's like i don't think you understand like love is literally all around you and the fact that you're trying to limit it to um just like just limiting love to being in a relationship is so harmful and i think it happens a lot because um we just i don't know like western culture is focused

mostly on the relationship and not on the community um but say it with me you don't need to be dating someone to be loved love does love is everywhere and searching for it only through partners is genuinely so limiting love is everywhere show your friends love show your family love and most importantly show yourself love now we got some questions we got some very important questions we gotta dive into and i gotta do this quick because i got work in t minus three hours so let's go ahead and dive right in okay this is for my dms once again all questions i upload questionnaire on my instagram at hannah marlene you already know the motherfucking deal um as well as at hannah marlene you can just submit them straight into my dms if they're more

of a longer question um but i never checked the podcast dms like ever so if you're sending them there i will never read them no offense it just gets overwhelming so if you send them to my main account then perfect now let's get into this okay so i have a bf right me and him both really want to do something if you know what i'm saying but i'm a virgin and that's not the problem it's more that i'm for some reason scared for him to see my private parts you know because no one except me has ever seen my kitty how do i get over this because i do want it with him and we communicate a lot i've told him this actually but he says he really isn't here for my body and that he'll love every bit of me and the whole and the whole everybody is diff thing you know um and some

tips on what to do to prepare i talked about this in my last podcast i just tried to make the title like user friendly if that makes sense so i wouldn't get taken down um but it was like kitty confidence or something i talk all about how to feel confident with your kitty with your privates um on that i go into more detail so feel free to listen to that but once again i must bring up the idea that no man is insecure about their dick they will whip it out they have no shame so you should not feel insecure about your pussy okay everybody's built different everybody looks different and it's all good period point blank there's literally nothing to worry about you do need to get comfortable with yourself before you're going to be comfortable with another person

so just get used to seeing it get used to looking at yourself in the mirror and then you won't be as shocked when somebody else sees it okay there's really nothing to be too too afraid of now if it's your first time um my first time experience was not planned out not prepared not the best um i was basically like greened out um and i was on top so don't recommend if you're gonna if it's a first time great position let's do a little missionary okay probably all you're gonna be able to take the first time and that's valid that's okay get some lube um because you'll probably be nervous um and focus on foreplay a little bit okay exploring each other before just like shoving it in i feel like people forget that sex is also very much so everything leading up to the pnv

okay um the before part is just as important as the as the pnv action um and have fun okay that is really all that matters as long as you're having fun during sex literally that's it you should be able to giggle there's gonna be weird sounds there's gonna be some mistakes there's gonna be some funny positions you get yourself into and that's okay all right i think the key is making sure you're with a partner who makes you feel comfortable during those times and can laugh with you okay does that make any sort of sense but really first time keep it easy on yourself stick it stick to missionary um maybe some lube just in case you're gonna get a little nervous and you're maybe not super wet and it's your first time like so you don't have as much

pain i didn't really have too much pain tbh but like a dry dick inside of you is just no fun whatsoever okay so maybe just a little bit of that that's all i can really think of and good luck i believe in you soldier you will do great have i have i told you guys about my first time before though oh my god literally people always message me and they're like i didn't i haven't i haven't had my first kiss i haven't literally wait as long as you can i lost my virginity when i was like 19 late 18 19 um i had my first kiss also like maybe the week prior maybe the week prior okay um but yeah lost my virginity and had my first kiss very late it was after high school um so i felt like i was behind but as an like when i was at that age but as an adult now i

totally like could have waited longer i don't think like i needed to rush into anything because i did rush into it and then it wasn't super great and i kind of i don't regret it because whatever i don't have any regrets all my mistakes i had a lot of fun doing um so but yeah I was literally greened out in this dude's basement with my friend my really good friend and I remember it was like her boyfriend and her boyfriend's friend and me and her sitting across from them and she was like going through she pulled out her phone on her phone she had a calculator app and she put her little calculator app number in and it pulled up all these photos and we're sitting there across from her boyfriend and she's scrolling through pictures of her and

her ex and she's like oh didn't we look so cute here and oh my god look at him here and i was like girl your man's is right over there what are we doing and it was so funny because that man was trash um well both of them quite honestly were trash but yeah totally greened out totally did not use a condom totally did not know really what was going on totally left directly after um but yeah if you put some planning into it maybe actually like put some thought i didn't put any thought into it you'll have a great time like if you put just like any thought into it you'll be good because mine was completely just like oh all right i guess i'm gonna suck some dick no oh young hannah wow oh this is a great question okay any tips for girls going to college

next year i love the pod so much love you thank you for listening um yes i have so many tips for girlies going to college next year um i went to a private catholic college my first time around um and my experience there was very interesting because all the people i was around were raised private catholic as well and kind of like babied a little bit so when they got to college they lost their minds they lost their minds because they had no adult supervision and they were just like fucking everything fucking eating any drug they wanted drinking to the point they had to go to the hospital like like uninhibited craziness and I was like you guys need to control yourself y'all need to just take a deep breath and control yourself

so I think really the biggest tip for going to college is that yeah okay you're gonna have way more freedom than you have ever had in your entire life don't get too fucking crazy okay you still have to have some boundaries for yourself you still have to have like goals for yourself or you're gonna get into bad positions and you're gonna get fucked up and you're not gonna be happy because i saw people drop out i saw people fucking like go back home because they couldn't handle it they got too they just got too messy and then couldn't handle it how to run home to mommy okay so understand that you have to be your own adult in college have fun i'm not saying don't go out and drink go have fun okay but control yourself as well okay understand that

you're getting yourself into some situations and you need to control those also i've said this once and i'll say it again when you're picking a college make sure you're picking a college that you can see yourself living there that is the best thing you can do fuck what degree you're getting fuck anything go in the first two years undecided get all of your undergrad out of the way well all your required courses okay so in the next two years after that for the for the actual degree you want but take those first two years to figure out what you want because I guarantee I 99.9% guarantee what you pick senior year to go into is not what you're going to be straight up it is not what you're going to be at the end of those four years

of college so go undecided pick a school that has multiple options for what you want and most importantly can hold a lifestyle that will support you and your mental health okay because i went to a private catholic school and i'm not a private catholic girly and my mental health suffered because of that so make sure your lifestyle can survive and be sustained there as well but college is fun i think college is worth it somebody else asked me is college even worth it it absolutely is it was not worth it to me because I did not think ahead I did not know what I wanted to do and I kind of jumped into a degree having no idea what I wanted to do and then I got stuck in it and I ended up hating it so build yourself a little bit of cushion a little bit of padding to have

the opportunity to change it and still be on track okay do you understand what I'm saying but i do think college is worth it just make sure your plan make sure you plan so then it is worth it does that make sense oh my god i just took a shower and i feel reborn tbh i feel reborn um also i have been obsessed i don't know why i haven't gotten on this earlier but the best lip combo in existence is okay i fucking butcher this name every time i'm bringing up my podcast i'm so sorry the the lineage lineage l-a-n-e-i-g-e lip sleeping mask love it i even use it during the day when i just need like a long-term moisturizer um i'll put it on at night i wake up my lips are like oh my god incredible and then i put it on as soon as i wake up after chugging some water

because i'm so dehydrated um that in combo with the dior lip oil oh my god it is incredible hold on let me put this on my lips but yeah i've been obsessed with that recently and the um i told you guys i bought the um what's it called the plum plump hydrating um moisturizer from what is that company called let me go grab it real quick um it is the i think glow recipe yeah plum plump hyaluronic cream 10 out of 10 10 out of fucking 10 you guys i am obsessed those two like skincare things have really changed my life and i will be buying more of them um my boyfriend sent me a meme the other day and it was like these two people wearing um it's like matching t-shirts and one of them the guy was wearing a t-shirt it said my dick smells like chapstick and then the girl's

t-shirt said i'm the reason his dick smells like chapstick and i was like facts except for your shirt should say um my dick smells like dior lip oil and he was like no literally i love that shit though that's the best lip combo your lips will literally look like if you drink enough water which i'm literally ordering a hydro flask in 30 minutes like as soon as i can today because i just got paid and i just worked out a deal so i'm trying to make or i'm trying to spend some money no offense and i do need a hydro floss because i'm dehydrated all the time so chugging water plus this lip mask plus dr lip oil literally you don't even need lip injections you don't your lips will be so plump and juicy and incredible

but i was feeling gross this morning if you were ever in like a slump if you're ever feeling like down if you're like i just feel gross and i'm laying in bed and i'm kind of smelly and greasy take a shower take a shower i get in showers and i feel like the worst version of myself possible and i stay in there and i let myself just like sweat out all the toxins and sweat out all the oil and all that stuff and i wash i do my fucking 10 step wash routine and i step out of that shower feeling like a brand new fucking person it feels incredible 10 out of 10 best thing you can do especially if you're in a slump if you're in a depression right now not feeling the best you know post valentine's day not feeling great who knows take a shower take a long shower take a bath

even treat yourself to that self-care because your body will feel so incredible afterwards like i i feel like i just slipped i slid out of the womb that is how i feel right now i feel like i just slid out of the room and i am a newborn fetus i feel incredible i love showering i love like treating myself in that way okay what to do if a boy starts ghosting you literally block block them if they're so emotionally unavailable that they can't communicate to you why they're becoming busy or why they can't speak to you anymore literally block them take that um take that what am i trying to think of you're giving them the power by letting them ghost you so if they're gonna ghost you straight up take the power away from them be like if you can't be a grown-ass man

and speak to me like another human being i'm gonna remove you from my life because i am already understanding you might not be good for it that is really all you can do about ghosting okay how did how do i tell my parents i smoked to help with anxiety i'm 22 okay if you live in their house i was like 21 and i was smoking in my parents house i should have told them i was like listen i smoke it was it's legal like what were they gonna do you know what i mean it's like if I was like I drink like they can be upset but what what are they gonna do now if you live in their house and you think you might get kicked out because you smoke maybe don't tell them maybe straight up don't tell them like there's a lot of things in my life that I'm like I will tell them

when I'm like 35 and I have my life somewhat settled and I can be like oh parents lols laugh out loud listen to this funny thing i did when i was younger when i was addicted to molly but there's like a little bit of time distance so it's like we can all laugh and enjoy it and it's maybe not so heavy um if it's like one of those situations maybe just wait and chill and do do that later um but i did have a conversation with my parents at 21 where they found my pipe and my mom was pissed at me and she was like you're not smoking in my house and i was like literally bitch i work my ass off i'm in college i need to smoke just to just to chill at night you have a bottle of wine i can smoke and hang and have fun you know what i mean

and she heard that and she wasn't happy but my dad understood and we came to a conclusion that okay i won't smoke in the house i'll go to my car whatever there was still some animosity about it but we came to a conclusion now you can have either way i'm not sure what would work best for you sometimes honesty is the best sometimes it's not i don't want you to get kicked out um but yeah that's really that's what i went through i would recommend either way you know what is best though okay i got a lot of questions about this like a lot and i don't know if it's because it's valentine's day some people were triggered about this not sure um but i got a shit ton of questions about first loves first loves specifically somebody said um hi hannah can you please talk

about how to deal with your partner being your first love but not being theirs also i love you so much and i literally binge listen nine hours of smoke session one sitting lol thank you so much for binging that is so funny people will dm me and be like i listen to every single episode in two days i need more and i'm like girl i'm on it don't worry like i'm getting to it i got you that is so funny i love that you're binging them thank you so much for supporting let's get into it because i feel like like i got a lot of these questions like a lot and i i'm i might call you out a little bit and it's all love here so you better take it the right way because you need to hear it i wish younger hannah could hear this too because she also put an emphasis on first loves

but they do not fucking matter they don't they don't matter just as much as like exes don't matter first loves do not matter when you're in a relationship with a person your peace should be your priority and you worrying about this other person oh what did they do in their past what are they doing right now like oh my god i have anxiety what well what if their ex like what stop chill the fuck out focus on yourself focus on what you can do to make yourself better and what you can do to become a better partner that is literally all you can do i wish i could go back in time and tell younger hannah just to chill out focus on her peace because i would to save myself so much fucking anxiety so much first loves do not matter literally if i was still

with my first love to this day i would be embarrassed i would be embarrassed and you'll realize that as when you grow up when you spend more time with people when you get to know what love really is you'll realize that shit doesn't matter because your first love is more so an infatuation with love while so your other relationships are infatuations with the genuine person sitting in front of you straight up okay the reason you put so much emphasis on first loves and your partner having one and and before you which makes you i guess feel demeaned in some sort of way because this is your first love you're showing your all to them you're being vulnerable with them for the first time but they've already done it before like what the fuck that's your ego

that's your ego speaking that's your ego trying to control you trying to steal your peace away and you got to get her under control or you will go crazy straight up you will go crazy you can't control other people's actions you can't control other people's thoughts you can't control other people's feelings the only thing you can control is how you react to those situations so save yourself some peace i am for real okay you'll realize this is your first love okay it's fun have fun have chill learn learn about love a little bit but i guarantee you'll have four more maybe five maybe six who knows and when you get to that sixth person that fifth person that fourth person you will have forgotten all about that first person but you know what you will have

learned so much more about yourself the more you fall in love the more you get to know people the more you find yourself in relationships the more you learn about yourself the more you learn what you do like what you don't like what how you should be treated how you want people to treat you what your love languages are what you accept and what you don't accept and you need experience for that and that's okay as long as you're choosing the right partner you're being genuine you're being kind then that's all that matters but first loves do not fucking matter and i don't want you driving yourself insane over that now i when i was younger i kind of felt the same way about my first loves like well he had already been in a relationship like oh my god and i realized i

was insecure about that because he was still allowing space for her in his life and that's what i was insecure about why is your ex in your life do you not love me am i not good enough that's your first love is it stronger than anything we could ever have and no first loves are literally just an infatuation okay now people seem to assume that your first love is like the strongest version of love you will ever feel and I don't think that's true at all because I accepted a lot of shit that I would never accept now ever okay like my love now for everything for myself for my partner is stronger than it has ever been and that's because I've been through these experiences I've learned what I like what I don't like and I've modified my relationships to fit that and

right now it's going pretty fucking good but don't beat yourself up over it okay don't don't pit yourself against another person don't try and control your partner control how you're feeling control what you can do and understand that yeah you weren't the only other person in that person's life but they picked you and that's really all you can accept and go with if they're with you they're with you for a reason and if they're playing you or whatever's in your head then that's on them you'll be fine you'll make it through it just make sure you're doing the best for yourself but first loves it is a very childish thing like no offense i've i've been there the only reason i say that is because i'm now 22 and i'm thinking about 19 year old hannah who would freak

out about that it is a very childish thing it doesn't matter first loves don't matter it's straight up your ego talking okay you'll be okay i love you and i hope you figure things out i hope things are okay but don't drive yourself crazy you don't deserve to feel crazy so don't drive yourself crazy oh okay somebody asked me thoughts on eating ass slash receiving illy you know what listen i'm a freak like i'm not gonna fucking lie to you guys i'm a freak i like it like the more freak nasty the better i've eaten ass i've had my ass eaten i've done both at the same time a little 69 moment incredible i love it it's so fun i just like love the intimacy of getting freak nasty with your partner and just like owning it and being together

and if that can come in whatever situation you want it to come out and you don't have to yes but sometimes i get a little crazy okay but yes have done do recommend at first it felt weird i was like what's what's going on but i think it's more so the pleasure of receiving as in like my brain gets turned on because it's freaky not like a like it feels good but my brain mostly gets turned on because it's freaky does that make sense anyways yeah eat ass if you want eat ass if you don't make sure you're they're fucking clean okay that's all that matters but ever been suspended or expelled no I've been close for sure but my dad was uh my dad was close all the high school counselors at my school because he also was like he worked like in a neighboring school district

so would they ever expel me no but I did get in a little bit of trouble in high school because so they implemented this new rule at my high school senior year that if you didn't have good enough grades so like if you had all a's or like this gpa you'd get an id card with this color on it and it gave you more privileges like go outside and eat you could have wandered the halls whenever you want like no questions asked if you got mostly b's you got a different color a little bit of your privileges were revoked if you got mostly c's your id was a different color almost all of your privileges were revoked and so on and so forth now that's a piece that's bullshit in my head i'm like what the fuck i can't go outside and eat on a 70 degree day in the grass because i have a

c in a class like you can suck my dick so what i did is i went to the arts lab and i made a bunch of fake ids for people and laminated them and did the whole thing and we we all had like little fake ids so we could go outside and eat and then my principal came through and was like what the fuck is this like give me your id cards what the fuck is this and i was like i basically was just like this is bullshit to his face like you dumb motherfucker yes i made a fake id do i care no because you are creating crazy ass rules like a dictator and telling me i can't eat outside what the hell you can't lock me in this fucking building for eight hours i will leave like i will i will leave this building so if you want me to not leave let me have my fake id

and let me eat outside and that's about all that came about that i'm surprised i didn't get in so much fucking trouble like so much trouble we this principal like slut shamed us at this like fucking like told us we couldn't wear shit at an assembly so we made posters with his face on it and we're like fuck what's the book called like i think it's called like 1989 i don't know fuck with big brother where they're like monitoring everybody like surveillance surveillance so he put his face on posters and put big brother over it and hung it up everywhere like we did things and i'm surprised like they didn't they didn't do anything like i'm surprised anyways yeah i fucking hated him i'm we made his life a living hell but twas deserved no i've never been expelled

no i've never been in trouble i've been in trouble once and it was in second grade and i got a think sheet and i had to go home and i had to give my mom the think sheet that was the only time i've literally literally ever been in trouble with authority and since then i have learned i need to be way sneakier to avoid getting in trouble and i have and it's been successful so far so yeah okay great question how to embrace the future and not be scared of change okay so oh love you too um ah i i have such a hard time with accepting well i used to i'm doing better now with accepting and going with change i have a very hard time with it even now like like back then back then as in a few years ago i had a hard time with like big changes

right now i've gotten past the big changes and now i just have hard times with little things like during my day if i have a day planned out and then like it changes or have like something i'm excited about and then it doesn't happen like i get sad i get sad and i get like disappointed and depressed but when it comes to like big changes um i kind of was forced to come to terms with the fact that i had an issue with change when my parents sold my family home and i was in college at the time at a college that i hated and that that already didn't feel like home to me so the fact that they sold my home the only place i could come back to and feel some sort of safety net while I was in the middle of my transitionary period was really really hard really really hard

I had to live with my grandmas for a whole summer because I didn't have anywhere to live um I even got a tattoo out of it I don't know if you guys you've probably seen in my Instagram photos but the uh leaves on my left forearm they're sumac leaves it's a sumac branch because I grew up on sumac street and I wanted I don't know I was just having a really hard time with it which is fair it was a big change it was hard on me it was kind of sudden my parents didn't really give me a whole bunch of leeway about it but I needed some way to process and mourn and come to terms with I'm not a kid anymore I don't live on that street I don't have fun with the kids that live there who I used to play with every day who used to hang out with

like all those memories in my head I was like they're destroyed they're gone because I moved but I that's not true I was just being dramatic and I did truly genuinely want a way to honor that so I got the tattoo as a way to just remember my childhood honor all of those good memories I love nostalgia nostalgia is like my favorite feeling in the world so I wanted something to represent that and once I got that it was a five hour tattoo which is fucking long there was not a break there were no breaks I was sitting there getting this tattoo he went over this tattoo like seven times once like oh my god because you have to do the lining the shading then another shading and then you got to do the white highlights and oh my god so like I had five hours to be in pain but

also process these feelings that I was going through and I came to this realization that like the more I try and like tightly grasp and hold on to things and try to make them not change and I try to have things not go with the flow the more I'm disappointed the more I'm hurt the more I'm shocked and the more I feel like I'm not prepared for the future and it was just setting me in this like endless cycle of i keep being disappointed i keep having things not turn out how i want them i keep going through these feelings so what can i do and i realize the only thing i can really do is take control of my life and understand that things are gonna change that is what life's about things are constantly changing we are constantly evolving things

are constantly moving you have to be on top of that or you feel like you're left out from the rest of the pack that the world is moving 10 times faster five steps ahead of you and you're just left in the dust and that feels really fucking bad so i had to realize the only way to not feel that way is to play the game to understand that change is going to come and to figure out how i wanted to handle that and the more i have kind of prepared for change allowed myself to have times to grow allowed myself to have moments where i'm like okay i have i need to process this i i need a plan for this i need to work around this because something didn't work out the way i wanted it to the more I allowed myself to do that and feel those things and prepare for change and accept change and move

through change the better I fucking felt the more control I felt in my life the more on top of things I felt and I realized it does just take that planning and understanding to feel good now when it comes to little things like everything will change and I've learned that through my years like everything that i have planned for and allocated for has not really happened and that's okay because i'm in a place where i'm very genuinely happy and it's not a place i genuinely ever imagined for myself like i thought i was gonna be a nurse and a wife and i am now a slut on the internet not really i'm not a huge slut but i'm a i'm a podcaster like what how did i get here you know what I mean and I'm happy to be here but I needed to allow myself to change and

to move and to grow with life not against life to get to this point okay now when it comes to like little things little changes that make me upset I do give myself just like grieving time because I have this thing that I do in my head where I get excited for things and I'm human so of course I get excited for things or I have hopes and I have dreams and that's okay you're supposed to but when those things don't work out I feel like I just go into like a little bit of like a depression because I'm grieving like subconsciously I'm grieving those moments that didn't get to happen that didn't come to fruition and that's okay um I just realized I do need to allocate time for that um and if I don't allocate time for that then I feel like shit throughout my

regular day and that doesn't feel good so allow yourself to feel things allow yourself to be disappointed allow yourself to feel change allow yourself to feel excited for new things okay but it's all about working through them i've realized the more i tried to force change to not happen the more it just kept fucking hitting me the universe just kept hitting me over the head with the same fucking lesson until i learned how to fucking deal with it and that's kind of how the universe works and i keep finding myself in those situations regarding a lot of different things that if you don't learn and you don't grow and you don't try and understand these lessons that the universe is giving to you that bitch is just gonna keep throwing the same fucking lesson

at you over and over and over again until you die or until you learn from it and i've seen a lot of adults get the same lesson thrown to them throughout my entire life and they have never learned one thing from it and i know that they are going to their grave never learning from that lesson and that is the downfall of their life so i need to not be those adults i need to learn i need to grow i need to change so then i can be happier anyways i'm not sure if any of that made any sort of sense but yeah i do have a very hard um i have a very hard time with change very hard time but just allowing my space myself space to feel really really does help oh my god someone sent me a dm and they were like this isn't a question but i started writing love letters to

myself and it has helped so fucking much and i was like valid i feel like a lot of my journaling is low-key love letters to myself a lot of it is just me just mind dumping in general but i do like to include like what i'm happy about what i'm confident about um but i think especially if you're trying to get over past traumas especially with your younger self offering that support and that understanding and that love that you needed during that time but just now through a letter just writing it out getting it out is so healing and so helpful so yes that person is totally correct you should really do that if you need some more journaling ideas um we might end this podcast a little early i'll do a long one on thursday because i gotta get to work soon but

i'm gonna get through a few more questions also let's smoke a little bully bowl y'all want to smoke a little bowl let's smoke a bowl okay and let me find another um oh okay and then let me find another question okay let me load this bowl how do you find yourself and what does it mean like does it mean to know your desires goals etc um and that's a very good question because and i do get this question a lot like what's the meaning of life like what is it to find yourself and all this stuff but it's like we're not born lost from ourselves i feel like we grow up and you lose ourselves a little bit does that make sense so like life isn't about chasing this one thing at the end of the road it's about getting back to your true most inhibited self that you

felt when you were younger through the knowledge and experience you gain when you're older does that makes sense i don't think there is a meaning to life i don't think there is a goal to life and that might seem very stressful to you if i told that to my very religious christian grandmother she would have a mental breakdown because to her there is a goal to life there is something to life because religion has set it up for her and she needs that in her life so she has some sort of peace about death and about understanding that when things end i will have some sort of peace which is fine everybody needs something for their peace of mind but there is no end goal to life there is no meaning to life the fact that we as humans have consciousness means that of course

we're going to ask those questions but just because we're asking those questions doesn't mean there's an answer just like animals just like plants just like everything else living on this life the only meaning to life is to live your life that is the only thing plants they grow fucking a tree will be planted it'll grow into the tallest tree you can possibly get and either fall over from natural consequences or from human actions either way it has a linear life cycle and then it ends humans we're born we live we die animals they bought they're born they live they die that is the true meaning of life so and i don't want to freak you out by that because i feel like when i say there's no meaning a lot of people get scared and nervous and like that's okay

i used to get scared and nervous too but in reality you should find a lot of a lot of freedom through that a lot of peace like there is no meaning so stop putting so much of an emphasis on making a meaning. Stop putting so much of an emphasis on trying to be something, on trying to become something for other people. It's your life. You're the one who has to live it. What do you want to do? What is the best way that you can possibly imagine living your life? What are the goals you want to achieve? That is all you can do in the hundred years we have here, which are a lot of fucking years you have a lot of time on the scale of everything it might just be a blip that's okay but you have so much time and so much opportunity to do for yourself what is best for

yourself and that is really the only control we're given in our life so the only thing i can really do is push you guys to be your best most authentic selves and the best version of yourself that you want to become now finding yourself I don't think you've lost yourself you might be a little distant right now that's okay I've been distant from myself in the past but you get back to it eventually and it feels really good when you get back to it and you'll know when you get back to it because all of a sudden you have all this inner peace and things are going good and your mental health is great and you're like whoa but to find yourself it does take a little bit of work and you know what it really does take? Mistakes. It takes messing up. It takes learning from those mistakes,

making decisions, making hard decisions, making gambles, you know, rolling some dice in life. It takes doing all that to find what you truly want and what you truly like. And it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to make the wrong decisions sometimes. You have to learn and grow and change and do better or else it's not worth it okay now i wish i could give you some sort of like special journaling routine or special things you can do to find yourself but for everybody it is so fucking completely different so completely different so all you can really do is truly in your heart feel for yourself is this what i want to do a hundred years from now is this what i want to do is this what i'm would i would i be happy with this and if the answer is no and in your gut

you're like i just don't feel great about this don't do it trust yourself trust your intuition and if you do feel good about it and things are maybe not like people aren't agreeing with you outside forces are kind of trying to get in the way go for it fucking go for it okay i started social media just fucking as a diary I was just bored I was just posting it was the pandemic I was like fuck it I'm out here I'm going through this little bit of spiritual awakening I'm trying to be a positive person towards myself so I'm gonna make these videos to remind myself and they started blowing up because it started reminding other people to become more aware of what they're doing and more positive and putting yourself first and it started just reaching people and if you are

your true most authentic self it will reach people through whatever form that you're going through so take the risk take the risk and trust your gut that is really all i can do or really all i can say for um what is probably going to be the best with finding yourself oh let's hit this fucking bowl now. Oh my god. Oh my god. That was a good bowl. I really do believe that. Finding myself which I think I've have found a lot of myself I'm still working on there's still things I always want to work on do better which is fine I gotta have goals it's fine to keep wanting to do better but I feel like where I am now was very much so like overall I didn't know I was gonna be a fucking podcaster at eight or whatever but what I'm doing now is very authentic to what

I thought I would be doing or not even what I thought I'd be doing but what would have felt true and authentic and real to eight-year-old Hannah to 11-year-old Hannah okay I think about this a lot if eight-year-old Hannah saw me on the street would she think I was cool would she think I was somebody to look up to would she think would she stop and stare and think that I was a cool person me currently if younger me saw me now would she think that and I do genuinely believe that I do think she would think like I'd be a bad fucking bitch so I find peace in that I find peace and understanding that my younger self is fulfilled through what I'm doing now and I spent a lot of my time not doing what truly felt right which is why I feel so much peace right now with where I am

because I do feel like I'm doing something right I do feel like I'm being true to my authentic self I do feel like I'm living what is best for me and it's hard because a lot of people maybe don't see the same way as me don't support the same things I do and that's fine I've learned just to not take that personally that's more so an issue with them than it is with me because at the end of the day it's really the only feelings that matter about my life are my feelings right now and nobody else's so like if younger me saw me on the street would she like me and I think the answer is yes I think she she would love me so I'm very happy with who I am now I've been trying to kind of get back on track these past four years with a more authentic lifestyle of how I want to live and it's very much

so an untraditional lifestyle but i find peace through that and it's a little hard trying to navigate but it it's fun and you'll get there you'll get there you need to allocate yourself time and understand that this growth and this change and this understanding is going to happen on a long-term scale like although i feel good right now i still know that there's so much more learning and growing and change that needs to happen I just am not I'm not a pusher like that will come to me and I will open my eyes to that when I need to know about it and when I do need to fix it I trust the universe in doing so I don't push away those like signs and those feelings anymore like I used to I don't suppress that I work on things when they come to me it's just

allowing yourself the time and the energy and space and the patience to grow into that person i am so impatient i am so impatient i can't even fucking wait for two-day delivery i can't wait in a grocery store shopping line i am the most impatient person in the world but i have learned the universe delivers tenfold if you're just patient and you wait and you play the long game okay bet on yourself you bet on yourself you'll win i guarantee just take that faith understand it happens in time and don't don't be too hard on yourself that's really all i can say you'll find yourself eventually i don't think you have ever lost yourself it's all about returning um back to your true uninhibited authenticity okay

oh i love the sex questions because like i'm a freak and i like to get into it and i remember being younger and i remember like having all sorts of questions like like any sort of question that i could possibly have and about anything and i had nowhere to go like there was nobody out there who was like like even on social media i had social media when i was younger especially in my teens tumblr was very very popular but there was no like ask blank there was no like um how do i like somebody i felt comfortable a public figure something even a website well i get into it that i felt comfortable like like even a person in my life i'm talking about social media i didn't have a person in my life i was comfortable asking these questions to my

parents never gave me the sex talk ever they the only sex talk i got from was the oh my god the only sex talk i got was from the american education system which their sex talk is don't have sex you'll be a slut and get pregnant and get a fucking std you gross nasty bitch men have fun that is the sex talk like what the fuck what am i supposed to do with that information i don't want to be a fucking suburban mother are you kidding me no that is not gonna fly so like all these questions i had i was also watching porn at the time so i feel like some of my questions i went to there which is not healthy at all because the true authentic part of sex i genuinely don't believe has ever shown through porn especially not all porn but especially the porn that you

can receive for free online okay i feel like it's very much so anti-women coercion not good okay there is good porn i understand there's ethical porn yes but you don't see the consent side of it you don't see the std testing very important things um where was i going with this me just like fucking getting high and rambling on this podcast holy shit i just didn't have anywhere to go and i was confused so you know where i went well i went to you know or i would literally type in my question on google and put reddit at the end and i would just scroll through reddit that is where i was getting my sexual information and now tbh and my drug information both that was my go-to for both tbh and or like even just like what are like the ask um what are

like the uh websites where you can just like it's literally just for asking questions i don't know the first ones that come up um I would just go to those if I ever had any questions and it's like that felt so kind of like isolating because first of all a lot of the experiences I was reading through had nothing to do with me and second of all it like they most of them weren't valid answers for the things I was questioning about so I love that like I am a genuine like I'm an honest fucking person I am honest if I don't know I'll tell you I don't know if I do know I'll tell you everything I do know about it I am uninhibited so I love that you guys feel comfortable coming to me um with any questions you have like about anything you guys hit me with the

most random fucking things and I'm like I don't know how your mind is there but I love the energy thank you for sending it to me and yes if you're vulnerable with me I want to get vulnerable with you as well um but somebody asked how to figure out what i like sexually when i have a roommate and this is what i tell you i'm a bad roommate in this sense because i have loud sex i do i do i don't like feeling inhibited during sex like of course there's gonna be noises like what you i don't want to have silent sex like what is going on so well unless that's your thing like no shame that i'm talking about me personally literally never no shame well what never any shame my brain but you do have to be a good roommate because i you hate being that person who is like laying

alone in your bed and you're like just trying to scroll on your phone and you're like what's that noise and you realize the person literally in the next room over he was getting their back blown out there's nothing worse because you're like oh this oh my god what do you do so the only thing i can really tell you about and i have been a very inconsiderate roommate like the only thing like i remember having sex like very much so in the bunk bed next to my other like college dorm roommate when she was asleep so sorry girly not a good idea i'm so sorry if you had to hear anything i don't think it was wild and crazy pretty sure i was fucking blacked out um but like the only thing you can really do is just be like try and plan for if your roommate's not gonna

be there or try and throw on like a tv show in like the living room and your room throw on some music in your room plus a tv show downstairs just to have like the contradicting sounds so then if they hear anything else they just don't even think about it just like you can be sexually um what am i thinking explore explorative i don't know you can explore your sexuality with roommates i don't think you have to be super worried about that like the walls do muffled quite a lot but also if you're in college where your roommate is literally in the bunk bed next to you i had to have nights where i had to be like girl i need the dorm for three hours i will buy you dinner if you just go do whatever you want for the night and she would just be like

hell yeah like whatever the library anyways like i wasn't gonna be there buy me some chipotle and i you can tell me when i can come back like you can work shit out it's okay you can still have fun you just gotta do a little bit more planning but yeah don't be that roommate that's having like loud sack and i have been that roommate and i feel bad and thinking about it makes me feel so awkward because like y'all heard me got my back blown out but like best thing you can really do is just like warn them or throw something on the tv but yeah i don't i i don't think like roommates really ever have issues with that like too too bad i think you'll be good okay okay we'll do a few more questions and then i gotta go do you normally roll your blazy susans or use cones i

love my pink papers but hate rolling now i i mean i do both i've been blasting through the cones recently because they're so easy to just like pack and run you know what i mean like if i gotta go somewhere i can pack that bitch real easy and blast off but if i have the time i do like to sit down and roll um and i don't really have an issue with rolling other than if i have nails on because it's kind of hard to like get my fingers to move correctly um especially with blazy susans i feel like they're very easy to roll um but if you're a lazy little girly like me and you like to smoke pretty get the cones the cones are incredible i love them it's a 50 pack oh my god 10 out of 10 but also if you do like to roll occasionally i do love blazy susan for rolling

um get their filter tips and their blunt papers they have a really cute two-in-one that comes in a coffin shape oh my god adorable on their website um but you can get just like a package of papers and a package of rolling tips i think their rolling tips are incredible they're great like little pink cardstock um and their papers are really easy to roll and like i've never had an issue with them not sticking and not burning correctly so but yeah i use both i understand the hate rolling thing though tbh i usually push it on my boyfriend anyways he can roll shit in like t minus two seconds so if he can roll faster than me and then whatever pretty girls don't roll no that's not true pretty girls do roll for sure but if you don't know how

to roll literally just keep practicing a pack of fucking papers like like blazy susans at a smoke shop are like what i don't even know maybe three dollars like not a lot get yourself a pack i gifted my friend a pack and rolling papers because she said she didn't know how to roll so i was like take literally you're just gonna practice this these aren't even for smoking bitch i'll give you more but take this package of papers and this package of filter tips sit down for an hour with like first of all just start with a gram of weed grind it up roll it and if you mess up throw the papers out it doesn't matter don't throw the weed out you can keep rolling but practice practice practice till you get it because you will get it okay anyways um okay let's do a few more questions

me like i gotta go to work but this is so fun i love it okay last two questions because i officially hit halfway through my questions and i want to save the other half for thursday so one more sex question um sex positions where the girl puts in work but doesn't require a lot of work because i'm curvy no felt okay some days like i will be like i'm horny as fuck but my feet don't work because i've been on them all day at work but like i want to fuck so like what's the best thing to do tbh i love doggy especially if you're curvy like doggy's great because your ass will look fat um and then you can kind of like if you reach down and then like a great way to if you don't want to use a whole lot of leg power is you can reach down in between your legs and

then you grab the inside of their thigh so you can kind of like push and pull by like grabbing their thighs um or their balls don't push and pull their balls but like you can do a little bit of both and then also you can just do like regular doggy um put your hand or but be on your knees so then your ass is a little high or not on your what am i trying to say be on your elbows your ass is a little higher than your shoulders and then have them like um like put your put your feet by their hips and have them hold your feet so it's like so you're on your elbows ass in the air feet kind of up next to their hips they're holding your feet so then you have something to like kind of um push back on and then you can just throw ass in their cock and then it's like oh my god

me saying cock i kind of hate that word but what else do i call it then you can just like throw ass you know what i mean i love that what else um something that also doesn't require a lot of work missionary is good but like i don't know i just love doggy it's a good just middle ground like i don't want to do a whole lot of work but you can kind of go into three separate positions like they can be more dominated like pushing you into the bed you can be throwing it back on them also if you are doing doggy instead of having the man on his knees with his hips in the air have him sit down like sit him on his ass like literally sit down like have him sit his ass on his feet so he's still on his knees but he's like sitting on his feet and then you are sitting in

his lap and then you can kind of throw ass that way that is a great tip as well um but yeah i think doggy is like the best for like i gotta i want to look hot but also like i'm tired like i'm tired also they usually come very quick because like i don't know i don't know i'm more of an ask early i feel like men i don't know like if you have better titties and maybe missionary is better but i don't know i'm more of like an ass girly so i'm like always let's go doggy or like reverse cowgirl reverse cowgirl you have to put in some work though but not a whole lot because i don't know come super quick if you're on top they're like oh my god i can't control myself anyways that is so much tmi too much tmi um i'm gonna hit this bowl and i have one more question

um oh no i have a cassie in my fucking oh wait no i don't have a cassie okay she said i'm hooking up with one of my friends and it's purely physical we have mutual friends i thought it said like a i was hooking up with my friend's boyfriend i was like cassie get out of my asks get out of them get out of them i can't believe she did that euphoria she's crazy her mom being like you need a fucking exorcism i was like valid period she hit that she said everything we all wanted to hear how did you start loving your body great question let me hit this i just hated my body for so long i got bored and i was like what the fuck am i doing what the fuck am i doing i just kind of came to this

realization that i was like i'm wasting so much of my time well i kind of came to this big realization that i used to be a sad girl like i used to be a sad girl think about tumblr bitches fucking i don't know they're probably some sort of tiktok bitch now that's similar um but i used to be a sad girl sad girl as in nobody understands me the apple fiona the apple fiona you know the fiona apples of the world the fucking sylvia plath girlies like i understand it i have felt it fully i have been a sad girl and i have been a sad girl for a majority of my life dare i say a majority and it was just a pit of no one gets me no one understands me I hate everything everything sucks like life is never gonna get good and I got into that and the hole was deep but it kept getting

deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and then I got admitted to a psych ward and I got out and I was on a recovery path but that hole was still deep I was still a sad girl through and through and it took a lot of time me for of me being sad until I literally got bored and I was like what am I fucking doing like what am I doing what am I doing am I the problem am I the issue am I the one making my life miserable and the answer literally was yes like the answer was yes i was making my life miserable i was the one who was bullying me in my head i was the one who was fucking conjuring up all the horrible thoughts i was the one who was getting myself in behavior patterns that weren't the best that was consuming the sad social media that was consuming the media

that wasn't good for me and knowingly doing so only listening to sad songs i was curating a lifestyle for myself that was not good at all and it got to a point where i was just like this is old like i'm done i'm bored i'm tired what if i just love myself like what if how dare i ask but like what if I just oh my god crazy love myself and I asked myself that one day and I took a day to just like kind of go over it and I started enacting little changes and the little changes I did enact at first were very rebellious in a sense and I think that gave me a lot of empowerment very quickly um I dropped out of college a college that was very expensive and that I was pursuing long term and it shocked a lot of people um like I made a lot of lifestyle

changes that just like were shocking to both me and everybody else in my life and were rebellious but empowered me in a sense of it was addicting I changed my life for the better and I felt that feeling of like oh my god I did something good for myself and the outcome was good and I feel good about it what is this this is a possibility this can happen I straight up got addicted to that feeling and I was like what else can I do how can I get better what else can I do to make myself be better, feel better, be the best version of me. And it took a lot of work, it took a lot of time getting there. But a lot of that also centered around not only my mental health and being a sad girl, but my body image issues, my placement within society issues, all of that. And so just like I was

asking myself like why do i keep doing this to myself why do i keep making myself sad it was also like why am i also bullying myself about my body why am i saying horrible awful negative things about my body and i stopped doing so and immediately felt better immediately it took it it took change it took active engagement it's not overnight I still have body image issues um but I had to just get strict with myself what media was I consuming was I bullying myself in my head I have to control those thoughts I need to let myself eat intuitively I need to not restrict I need to maybe I stopped going to the gym because I realized the gym culture was not good or healthy for my mental health at all um and i still haven't really stepped inside a gym because i'm not sure

how to fit myself in there in a positive light and that's fine so i'm just doing what i can for myself and my body and i do need to like add in that i do have a i would consider myself like a very societally accepted body does that make sense like i'm skinny and that's really all there is like i don't really have a fat fucking ass or like triple d's i'm just like skinny and so when i say these things i feel like people hear me and they're like well you already were built to fit society and it's like yes i do understand that and i do own that and i understand that for other people it is much so harder to come to terms especially about how beautiful they are and um how their body fits within society um but like you can do it too like you can do it too i did it

you can do it too you can feel good there are so many women on this earth who are empowered and feel great about their body and you should be one of those people as well okay you deserve to feel that way right absolutely everybody does um just little things that helped me though was fit like um being strict with what media i consumed like even now as an adult on tiktok there are videos that come up and i'm like that is super triggering and as soon as i see it i am just like um what is the fucking like uninterested button uninterested blocked whatever i love the black button if it's gonna protect my peace i literally do not care i'm so sorry i don't care okay protect yourself control those inner thoughts control like i was like i said i was bullying

myself i was being horrible awful to myself i was saying horrible awful things to myself when i looked at any picture anything and that didn't translate well to the outside either so i had to be the warden of my own thoughts control my thoughts control where they were going make sure i wasn't spiraling when it came to eating or when it came to working out and it took it it takes a lot of little steps and enacting one step at a time is how you make it manageable but you'll realize very quickly that once you just enact all of those things you'll start feeling very very good about yourself absolutely and you also stop caring about what other people think about you like in turn i've realized like if there's a little graphic chart of like

how you feel about yourself compared to how you care about how other people see you does that make any sense okay how you view yourself in and then compares to how you view yourself through other people or how you think about how other people view you oh my god i literally don't even know what i'm trying to say but i hope you guys understand mentally like i'm sending it to you you get it um the the more you care about the self yourself and the better you feel about yourself the less you start to care about what the fuck other people think okay someone could walk up to me on the street and be like you're literally the ugliest fucking sea creature i've ever seen in my life and i would be like okay because i am a delusional hot bitch like in my head i am the

hottest fucking bitch on the fucking planet so if anybody comes up to me and is like you're ugly i'm like you have bad taste leave and it does take a lot of work like i am coming to you from five years of recovery six years so it takes time but i i am the living proof that the time is worth it the effort is worth it you'll get there absolutely i love you all so much thank you for being here you are all wonderful um do you want to take one more bowl before i go are we crazy we're crazy let's take one more bowl because i looked at the time and it was 333 so important but oh i gotta go to work after this i'm bartending all day and then i bartend all day tomorrow and it's gonna be so slow today though which is kind of nice because i get a little break this

weekend was fucking crazy because everybody was out celebrating valentine's day the tips were incredible um but goddamn was i busy so i'm ready for a break i finally have like a break break thursday so i'm gonna be doing a little self-care day thursday and i'll upload a new podcast for you guys i might put out one more questionnaire for the week just to see if anybody else has any more questions they want to submit to me but remember that's always on my instagram at hannah marlene you can always find what i'm up to there my day-to-day stuff i posted a cute little valentine's day post you'll give it a little like please go show me some love i love you all so much i love hearing from you guys and i appreciate you being here with me i appreciate everything you do for me

and everything you do for yourself as well let's hit this bowl and i will send you on your way oh yeah i have some cool pieces coming in the mail too so if you want to see those on my instagram i'll show you soon i love you all so much i'll see you thursday