Smoke Sesh - choosing yourself, glow ups, anal & doom scrolling

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

Happy Thursday! Todays episode we cover a lot, Hannah updates you on her week and answers a ton of questions such as love, being a mess, glow ups, what is glowing up, and how tos, anal and sex, weed and relationships, doom scrolling and phone addictions, allowing yourself to be bored, and choosing yourself is hard. Hope you guys have a wonderful Thursday remember to submit all questions to @ hannahmarlene on instagram and I’ll see you Tuesday! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Oh my goodness. Good morning, everybody.

Or should I say good afternoon? it's like 12 o'clock which is not my usual i know usually i'm quite honestly like rolling out of bed and hitting record at the same time um but i haven't a busy girl lately i can't lie i don't know what kicked in inside me where i am just like okay i need to start handling handling all these things that i have just been putting off for such a long time but i'm finally getting into them and it feels so good to get shit accomplished oh my god i have been busy busy so let's start with yesterday i'll catch you guys up um i had the day off yesterday which was awesome incredible and i convinced my boyfriend to take the day off as well

we i and i talked about this in maybe two podcasts ago but like our around the two years of when we met kind of came up and i was like love him but we didn't really celebrate or do anything other than just like appreciating each other so he took the day off and was kind of like we'll just make the day of it have a good time hang out and i also had an apartment tour that i needed to get done so he was like i'll drive you there and we can check it out together and i was like love that thank you energy yes take the day off with me i love that because when we first met the first day we ever met he spent the night and it was like the first time he ever called out of work and he's like how do i do this it's like you'll be fine just say you have a stomach ache they're not gonna be mad

at you and so we celebrated the same way we kind of first started hanging out by skipping work um you know got some good coffee we went to this um really good italian like deli spot in waldo in kansas city it's called jovito's um super great super lovely we were in there picking up stuff and the guys behind the counter were playing they were like watching a funny video and it was like fart noises echoing over the entire restaurant it was so funny because they were connected to the bluetooth got that got a super yummy chicken parm panini little italian sammy then we went to is apartments because i have to move unfortunately i have to move out of my house um the landlord that i rent from is selling it which is it makes total sense

it needs a little bit more some repairs probably doesn't need five 20 year old girls living in it and causing chaos all the time it needs like a good little family to settle down with which love that for her so she's selling it i'm trying to move by the end of may or june which i love my birthday is june 1st ah it's coming up i know it is almost gemini season i'm so exciting but um or i'm so excited but i wanted to move before my birthday just so i could be settled in i don't think that's gonna happen so luckily that means i have more time to collect some cute furniture but we went and toured these apartments and when i got this house when i the one that I'm currently living in um it was the first time I ever moved out and I really didn't

really know what I didn't know what to look for or what I was wanting and luckily it was the only place I toured and I moved in like the next week because I loved it so much it's been incredible love my landlord love my roommates it's all it's been great um so I very much so lucked out because I feel like a lot of people have bad experiences the first time they move out just because everything's so new and you do have to learn along the way but I think the fact that I was subleasing made things way easier it was way more personal I didn't have to deal with a big you know apartment complex neighbors all that shit but I still kind of wanted that you know home feel but an apartment something a little bit more private no roommates and that's exactly what

this place was giving I was hoping I just needed to go on one tour like the first time I did and i would be set and sold and that's basically what happened they're all brand new apartments hardwood flooring oh my god beautiful white walls ginormous windows incredible view over downtown i am like sold love it so i'm hoping that works out fairly soon and i get that process done um pretty quickly move in pretty much asap because i just put in my application but my boyfriend came with me I was like yes I could see us living here I'm so excited and he's the best to kind of like have around and I'm not even kidding he was with me the first time I toured my house that I live in he came with me because we were just hanging out at the time and I was

like you got to come to this house showing with me because I cannot miss it same thing for the apartments and he's the best because he's pretty much when it comes to decisions that I'm making like obviously this is not his apartment is he gonna spend a majority of his time with me there yeah probably but it's it's my choices my apartment you know he's great when it comes to that because he's pretty much a neutral opinion he understands it like okay i need to make my own decision so i'll be like what what did you think about it did you like it what's going on and he'll just be like yeah yeah yeah i think it's good and then from that i can kind of like bounce my reaction back off of it like well I love it I think it's great like I don't know why you

think it's only good I think it's great and he's like well good sold you should go for it or if I have the opposite reaction of like yeah I know you're right it was only good like it wasn't that great then I can usually get a feel off of that but I loved it it was incredible and I'm really hoping I get the apartment I want because they're all very different and they're also all brand new love so we did that um went by my house smoked a little bit it was so nice yesterday so we were really just trying to take advantage of the nice day and we were gonna go to the art museum but um art museum was closed totally forgot about that because our museum's like a block away from my house so we were just gonna blast there but closed but they have a wonderful little garden area that

We went, walked around, um, went to Whole Foods. We got some flowers, got a bunch, a bunch, a bunch of like artisanal cheeses and fancy cheeses and jams and crackers and spreads. And then we came home and made a little charcuterie board and cooked dinner together and just vegged out the rest of the night. And it was great. I had a great day. um you know you meet the person that like is super special to you and important to you when you

when everything pretty much goes good and well and everything works out and it feels natural that's how you know and then even when conflicts arise if they do they work themselves out very naturally things get fixed very quickly there's no hard feelings and that's the way i feel with him so love that man but today oh my god all the adult shit I'm getting done I get an apartment yesterday get groceries yesterday set up more appointments and then today I was having pain in my mouth and I'm the worst because I don't know if you guys are like me but I kind of avoid the doctor like a plague like I just I don't know why I've never had any like bad like horrible like excruciating experiences at the doctor or dentist i just don't like going because i i know

that something's gonna be wrong so i've been putting off the dentist for a while at least since the start of the pandemic and finally started having like tooth issues like pain in my jaw or something it's like okay whatever i'll go in so i had that appointment this morning and they said everything was great lovely fine i just need to get a few cavities filled so the pain will go away and I was like thank god I did this and the experience was wonderful they were great I was shocked I was surprised we'll see how my cavity fillings go because I hate needles um so I gotta do that later on this month and I was trying to get it all done before I go to LA so then I can just have fun in LA and do my thing that was the goal but now I'm here

I went and picked up some hibashi house for lunch some falafel and hummus to treat myself a little bit we're gonna smoke a little bit and we'll get into some questions as well because I know why you guys are here and I have tons to answer so we're gonna load a little bowl and get into it I also forgot I was gonna share with you guys music I've been listening to because some of you guys have been asking me like recommendations what I've been listening to blah blah blah and if you're ever interested oh my god i have the hiccups i'm so sorry i just chugged a san pellegrino if you're ever interested in what i'm listening to my spotify profile is smoke sash one word you'll see a picture of me in like a bunny hat

um that's like where i keep all my music and stuff like that it's like that spotify profile so if you're ever interested that's where you can find my music it's not organized at all i don't organize my music i just throw it in whatever playlist is closest to what i'm listening to and i really just go from there and i basically make a new playlist every month or so whenever i get tired of listening to the same stuff but right now i'm listening to since it's like spring vibes um 1238 by childish gambino um love super good it's a little bit longer so it's great to um drive to but the whole entire song is great keeps you engaged i'm pretty sure also it's written about a pisces woman they just have that magic to them um what else oh find

away a tribe called quest obsessed get bigger by no worries anderson pack you know what i'm talking about let me scroll to the end of this playlist see if i got anything else good um a cuddy smooth spot by isaiah mustafa and marika sage i have been obsessed with that song for a while like obsessed and once again great spring song great to blast in the car with your friends on the way to a party just makes you feel good get going give it a listen let me know what you think but i'll have more recommendations for you next week oh this is a good question is it love or is just my first relationship oh okay here's my answer i think everybody looks at love at this one type of feeling one type of experience one type of thing right when in reality i think it

can come in many different forms many different feelings many different things and love can also be attachment love can also be non-attachment it can be anywhere within that um obviously the goal is to find a healthy balanced sort of love but i feel like um the relationships i have been in i'm not gonna say i wasn't in love because at those times i very much so was am i anymore no not at all but every single time that i've felt that it's all been very very different whether it's healthy or not healthy whether i'm attached or detached um every single experience and every single time i've been in love has been vastly different i will say that the more times i've experienced it the more i've understood it and the more i have understood what i want from it

and what is healthy and what is it so i do think it takes practice and time and understanding how you fit in within relationships and finding a good partner who can do so as well um but i say don't get ever hung up on your first relationship or your second or your third there's more types of love out there and i quite honestly you can just keep finding better as long as you put that work into yourself and hope that your partner is putting that work into them but yeah i think there's so many different types of love because i meet people who are like i am head over heels in love and i'm like that is the most toxic person i've ever met for you but the feeling of love is so strong and so like like it just holds you and grabs you in a way that i think is just undeniably

true quite honestly but many different types many different versions and i think you will find that the older you get and the more relationships you have okay let's hit this bowl because i keep saying let's hit it and then literally just sits here because my mind my adhd brain anyways one of you guys messaged me recently i was like i was trying to keep up with you while you smoke and i couldn't i was like felt girl i can barely keep up with myself i can't lie okay i love how this question is worded because I get a lot of questions, especially, you know, it's springtime. We're trying to get into that vibe. But it's like, how do I glow up? What do I do to glow up? I want to glow up. And it's

like, okay, fuck. I got period blood on my white pants. Oh my god, not my Armani white linen cargo pants i'm so stupid are you kidding me okay pause oh my god i know that's like girl code rule number one is like literally never wear white while you're near your period because like you learn that when you turn like 11 12 when periods start happening they're like don't wear white don't wear whites oh my god to be fair i didn't know my period was starting i can't lie but if you ever have blood in white clothing hydrogen peroxide in a toothbrush took that bitch right out also i'm a mess like i'm a huge mess my mom has dealt with this for years like i just did not care about not that i didn't care about my clothing i was just a messy child i was an artiste

there was one time literally my family so i grew up in like farm country and we would just play in the woods there was no adult supervision none at all it was me and all my neighbors and basically we just grew up it was similar to like a and i think i had a really good childhood because of this um but it was like a community style living it's like the whole cul-de-sac that i lived on was just all the families were really good friends so I feel like I was raised by their parents as much as I was raised by my own but no adult super supervisation for this particular time because I ended up in this like clay pit in mud stuck in mud like up to my titties like stuck in this mud and I couldn't get out and of course I was wearing good clothing because I was supposed

to go to my grandmother's birthday party like in an hour but no I was playing in the woods and I got stuck in this mud pit and my parents had to come like pull me out and I lost shoes and then they just hosed me off in the yard so yeah I was that kind of kid and like I was an artist so I got paint on everything like everything i own has paint on it of any sort of color so what my mom does with my whites and what i basically do is i don't care if shit gets on them i just take whatever it is take all my whites throw them in a wash with like a little bit of bleach just enough and i spot i spot treat first um and it just brightens everything it makes it way way better because i'm a mess and i'm gonna be a mess and the only thing i can do is prepare for it or have

the things to fix it afterwards but unfortunately i'm just clumsy shit happens as you can see okay glow ups love it back on track i've been getting a lot of questions about this it might be the spring air people are you know wanting to be their best selves their hottest versions of themselves for summer um but the way this person worded this was really good how do i find my glow realistic advice and tips only okay love it because i feel like people are like sometimes like oh i only need a good wardrobe and then i'll look good or oh i only need good skincare then i look good or maybe i just need a little bit better mental health care and then i'll be good uh maybe you see better friends it's like they try to find one aspect because that just

seems simpler to fix but overall finding your glow doesn't really involve too much in the outside i mean sure outside factors are always you know a it affects you obviously um but i very much so think that it can be found from the inside and i think it's found by what you prioritize because um like if you argued for the how i was explaining the glow in the beginning from like a capitalistic standpoint i wouldn't be able to find my glow if i was overworking myself or i wouldn't be able to find my glow which overworking at this point is just being able to afford living um i wouldn't be able to find my glow if i didn't purchase this thing or i wouldn't be able to find my glow unless I fit beauty standards or some sort of thing but in reality I think it's made

by prioritizing yourself and prioritizing what you think is good and prioritizing what you need and listening to that that is how you find your glow I was a dull ass bitch because I never focused on myself and I never prioritized myself and I never thought about myself and in turn I felt shitty like of course if you think about it if you don't prioritize yourself you don't think about yourself if you don't set those boundaries for yourself yeah you're gonna feel real shitty and you're probably gonna feel used and you're probably gonna feel bad about yourself whether that's a situation or not but if you take the time and energy to start focusing on yourself listening to yourself listening to that intuition things are gonna get better things are gonna get

good I know here's let me give you some like you said realistic I know we're talking broad um but I when I find myself the most like when I look in the mirror and I'm like oh my god Hannah like you are drained you look exhausted you need a day you need to spot it I don't know what it is but you do not look yourself I feel that way because I have almost over exerted myself in whatever category of what I'm doing to the point that I don't feel myself anymore okay and I feel like when I get that way I quickly quickly take steps to start feeling more like myself so you kind of have to start doing those basic care routines again um making sure you're taking care of yourself hygienically um physically mentally make sure you're eating enough yeah

make sure you're drinking enough water yup important make sure you are choosing activities that you genuinely want to engage in make sure you're engaging with people that you genuinely enjoy and not saying that you like have to get something out of it but you're gonna feel better after you hang out with them like i feel like there's some people you know where you hang out with them and afterwards you're like that was i'm exhausting which can be good but sometimes you know what i mean and then also there's people you hang out with where after you hang out with them even if you're like a introvert or an extrovert you hang out with them and you feel like rejuvenated after like a breath of fresh air like oh my gosh that was wonderful that was eye-opening i love the

way they view the world make sure you're actively engaging with those type of people um oh my god oh my god oh my god i found a post the other day that kind of explained what these kinds of people are and how to identify them and it was really good it's on tumblr of course but let me read it to you types of people you need to hang on to enthusiastic listeners people who don't make you guess if they're mad direct communicators the friend who helps you clean your room those who are kind to those who can do nothing for them messy folks who repeatedly get it wrong but never stop trying to get it right anyway kindred spirits loud laughers pals who make the grocery store fun loved ones who get as excited about your success as you do, the person you feel comfortable crying

in front of, seeing in the car friends, people who text you to look at the moon, people who text you just to say hi, the one you've known since childhood who can go a long time without talking to but nothing changes, those who understand the value of holding space, the mentor who pushes you to do better because they want better for you, patient teachers, healers, scrappy souls, hard workers friends you can joke about hypothetical situations with for hours on end the genuine anyone who leaves you feeling good after what afterward not just when you're with them people who see your fault lines and say they have them too anyone who came to mind as you read this hold them close love them hard literally that is what i mean those kinds of people find those kinds of

people enjoy their presence you will learn so much about yourself through them i guarantee it also um prioritizing your needs okay it's very very easy to overexert yourself in every aspect of life whether it's school whether it's work whether it's um interpersonal relations i personally have found that I get overwhelmed when I feel like I don't know what's going on within my schedule within my life so daily planner love it even if my my uh week is full like I am doing a mass amount of work I have so many finals do like whatever it is if I have a planner and I'm able to look at every day and see every day or even see the month or even see the year if you want to go that far out I feel so much more comfortable in knowing that I at least understand and from there I can

do more work and if I at least understand then I'll be able to finish it okay also it keeps you accountable for getting things done so then you don't add on to any more stress that you quite honestly might be feeling okay it's really just taking the reins of your life and holding on as hard as you can and trying to do the best you can with what you have when it comes to internally the work that you need to do to kind of glow externally um and i feel like this follows after sending boundaries and after um like organizing so you understand what's going on in your life um organizing your thoughts organizing your emotions how are you feeling in this moment are you prioritizing your happiness no well you probably should be every single day i don't care

if anybody would consider that day a win or a loss i know that i won if my goal was to choose happiness and find that throughout the day and i did so that is how i know it was a good day okay my bad days are when i am just in a funk in a mood like holy shit everything is negative i hate everything I know those are my bad days that's okay we all have them you know what I mean but I am able to identify and understand work past those because you know you got to be able to identify and understand but I think journaling any sort of inward work is really really nice I know I talk about journaling like all the fucking time like all the time but those conversations you have in your head sometimes can get overwhelming and sometimes you just need to

put them in paper where you can leave them okay journaling about your day gratitude journaling as well if you're in one of those days where you're like everything fucking sucks i hate this this is bad that's okay we all get those feelings sometimes sometimes you just need to remember gratitude journaling journaling start with five then 10 then 20 you'll be surprised how many you'll be able to list off after like your fourth practice because you will start realizing and noticing more things that you are grateful for because you're kind of just tricking your brain into looking for them so gratitude journaling regular journaling mind dumps organizing your week setting goals for yourself there's nothing that feels better than accomplishing goals even

if your goal is to get out of bed and go make breakfast do it okay if your goal is to get to work today do it once you finish that shift you'll feel simply accomplished and better about yourself because you did it whether it was a big task or a small task I don't care you did it that's important you're gonna feel accomplished and you're also gonna feel that drive to do more when it comes to outward expression and glowing up that way I feel like everybody thinks they need to glow up and like I said before purchase everything that this celebrity is doing or purchase everything that this person is recommending or oh my god well if I dress exactly like them then I'll feel happier no but if I dress in this way that's the trend right now then I will feel

happy about that and then everybody will love me because i'm dressed this way no uh no no that's what they want you to think okay that's really what they want you to think but unfortunately that's well actually fortunately that is not how that works i feel like i feel the best about myself when i am expressing myself outwardly in a way that is true to me okay and i think i do this mostly intentionally by buying kind of i would like to say one-off pieces but they're more so like vintage thrifting everything i have is very like kind of random but also something that's not following a trend because i didn't purchase it from a big supplier in any sort of way um and i think it and i'm picking it because it represents my authentic self and who i want to be

I'm picking it because it caught my eye the way I see design the way I enjoy beauty the way I enjoy aesthetics it caught my eye in that way not in the third person way of oh well other people think this is good okay that's how you need to be picking how you're going to express yourself when it comes down to your hairstyle when it comes down to your clothing your nails everything I feel like I pick it based off of my aesthetic or at least when I pick it based off of my aesthetic like my eye for beauty, my eye for design, I feel so much better. So much better. And sure, you know, I do own pieces that fall into the trend or fall into a popular, like, what am I trying to say? Like, well, yeah, trend or a big retailer or anything like that. Yeah, I do own

those. But the reason I'm purchasing those is because they call to me. I like them. The design is great sure it's new but there's nothing wrong with new i'm not saying you need to only you can only get your store from thrift stores you can only get a vintage clothing or else you're not valid no i don't care where you get it from but make sure you're choosing it for you when you feel confident on the outside which you're going to feel 10 times more confident if you're expressing yourself in a way that you genuinely enjoy you're going to feel confident on the inside as well and both work needs to come from both both sides inside outside interpersonal you got to start with all aspects of life I know and it does take a little bit of work you gotta chip away at one

of them at least once a day set one goal for mind body spirit every single day and maybe do one of them maybe two maybe three if you're driven oh my god do however many you need but you know I think you can get there I know I'm giving like a lot of work a lot of ideas but I don't think it needs to be overwhelming i don't think there needs to be one huge giant shift in the way you do things i don't think you need to drastically change yourself in any way i don't think you need to completely get rid of who you are and your identity of who you are now and start over i think you just need to find yourself get back to yourself get back to who you truly are um and how you feel on the inside and how you feel on the outside and what what you really call to um but i think glow up

starts there it starts with finding yourself again sorry if that was literally everywhere i think that's kind of purposeful because i mean i think glowing up can come from anywhere and it should come from anywhere i think you should look at every aspect of your life um and really try and understand and evaluate it but let's smoke a little another bowl before we get into some more questions i think i cashed this one yeah we're gonna have to load another one okay speaking of weed while we load this someone said my girlfriend told me smoking weed makes her uncomfortable should i stop very valid question and i think it's completely completely up to you i think some people find when their partner tells them they shouldn't smoke around them to be very

controlling um i think it can come from a controlling aspect um but also if you're like yeah i smoke once a month and it's really not that big of a deal to get rid of it then maybe you do that um but i think you just need to evaluate where it's coming from and also understand and also um i think some people are afraid of weed at least where i live because some of the states neighboring us are very conservative with how they feel about weed and so they're afraid of like law enforcement so if that's her worry i say just maybe explain hopefully you're in a legal state and you can chill and she can chill and things are going to be good or choose to smoke it maybe away from her um i think it falls in the act of like being kind of possessive in a sense

when they don't want you to do it at all anywhere that's kind of odd um i understand being concerned about somebody worried about them um but like in the end we all can make choices and we all can make choices for ourselves and i feel like there are worse drugs to be doing with weed now if you're going out on the street and shooting up heroin i'd be like uh yeah maybe let's not do that let's find a rehab facility but i think weed is basically as common as drinking at this point so i look at the same way as if like your um if a partner was like i don't want you to ever drink alcohol it's like what okay i understand not wanting to do it around them i feel like that's valid i understand some people don't like the smell maybe bad vibes bad experiences with it

um maybe a little afraid of law enforcement totally fine valid but the possessiveness comes when um it's like a controlling your behavior type of thing so evaluate based on that but if you can just give it up and chill i say go for it but if it's a weird possessive thing i say have a talk all right talk it out good luck let's hit this bowl this is for you also someone said oh my god my birthday's on a podcast day so cheers to that let's hit this oh my god oh my god are we gonna talk about this someone just said anal question mark um I don't know if you're asking or it's a question but yes yes I say yes I know I know crazy I know maybe insane let me explain let me explain let me explain okay to be fair I haven't

done in a while um but I think I think it's a vibe and if you want to delve into it if you're curious if you're interested valid let me tell you more I also think it's totally valid if you want nothing back there if you're not interested you never want to do it I hear both ways totally fine love it whatever way you want to freak it freak it if you want to go in the back door totally valid as well I've been there let me tell you how to have a good experience okay because I feel like a lot of people have bad experiences and they get turned off from it completely because I had a horrible experience and I am pretty sure I it was horrible like it was horrible I was with an ex like my first ever boyfriend and i was just like completely greened out he just slipped it in

and i was like nope this isn't fun not the vibe of too much um so keep that in mind that was a bad experience and i feel like that's what a lot of women's experience is in in straight relationships when it comes to it because men watch porn and men watch a lot of porn and if they've seen fucking anal porn then they understand all they're watching is a man shove a dick in an asshole not a professional asshole that has been stretched out that not like it gets stretched out but she's probably used a butt plug stretched out ready to perform it's a performance okay she might have a little lube in there already they don't show you know the beginning care the consent the aftercare the needs that are required for comfortable anal to happen so i think a lot of

women had bad experiences anal because um men just shove their dick in there and that is not okay not comfortable not funsies at all okay I think the best position is like you know the morning position where you're just like laying on your side I think that's the best because you're gonna be the most relaxed okay and that's good that's kind of what you want I know we're very odd question but let's get into it I'm sure some of you guys are curious I get this question a lot um on your side where you're just completely comfortable no you should not be squeezing any muscles down there like you should just be chilling relaxed that's the goal i also love i think it's called the kim k position which is you're laying flat on your tummy with your legs

flat behind you and like pressed together together so i guess you're just laying flat but on your stomach that's great as well I don't think doggy is a good position for anal um I feel like you're just squeezing too many muscles down there and also like bending in a way that maybe isn't gonna fit super well so keep that in mind um you cannot just shove a dick inside there okay I feel like you need at least a butt plug before which is great if you're interested in anal I say get a butt plug first okay get a vibrating butt plug if you even want that's even better um you can try that okay but then when it comes to your partner i say use a butt plug before so you're a little bit comfortable you've already had something back there you understand um and then let your partner

do their thing to be fair usually now you're gonna you're gonna want to be clean okay you can douche if you have time to plan and prepare i feel like the times i have done it i did not have time to plan and prepare because i feel like i don't really i don't know i'm not a huge planner when it comes to sexual activities i'm just like if i'm in the mood if i'm feeling it with my partner then yes of course but um if you have a healthy good diet you know what it's pretty clean back there like if you take healthy poops things are good things are clean i think the only time you'd have issue is like my ibs girlies oh my god my ibs girlies i think you would maybe need some water back there just because you know there might be residual soft stool let me use my nurse terms um

residual soft stool back there that might leak out so that's never happened to me though so i think you should be chill i think you should be fine okay um i think you should be good but yeah clean back there make sure you're good and clean make sure this is the only sexual activity you're gonna be doing there should be no dick to vagina okay which also happens a lot in porn which cannot happen in real life because you will get the craziest uti you've ever gotten your entire life because the bacteria is not supposed to be inside of you um so keep that in mind this should be like the final the finale some might say um on your side on your tummy completely relaxed already super ready to go and then you should just go slow i say just go

slow there's like two sphincters you have to get past if you know like anatomy there's like two sphincters so you're gonna have to get past the first and then you're probably gonna be a little nervous so you just gotta get past a second and then it's quite enjoyable if i do say so myself if you take the time if you go slow if you feel just slightly prepared um lube also probably did say that you definitely need a lot of lube um go slow once again work work your way in i think you can have a very fun time if you are interested in it you can have a you can have a very fun time and i felt shamed by some women because i feel like a lot of women are like well men only uh men only want to have anal sex because they're gay and it's like well what does that make

me then because i kind of want to do anal but what does that mean about me like no you can have anal sex within healthy um heterosexual relationships i think a lot of women use that term also to shame men away from it because they feel uncomfortable because a lot of men pressure women which is not good once again full circle here um but i've also felt shamed by a lot of women for it as well but no i think if it's a sexual experience that you want to experience and it's healthy and you're both consenting and you've prepped and you're prepared i think you should have fun okay and it's probably gonna feel great because at least with anal um it presses into your g-spot like it's through another wall so it's slightly softer but if you're in either

of those positions they're gonna hit your g-spot while you're having sex so it's going to feel good okay i you can have orgasms as well and you can have different orgasms it's gonna feel very different but anal go for it if you're into it try it start with a butt plug if you want but i don't think you should feel deterred in any way and i think before you do it there should also be a conversation with your partner about boundaries and i think you should talk through it does this feel comfortable are you okay you know what i mean and also you should be like giving active enthusiastic consent throughout the entire process so very important things keep it in mind but yes i say anal is a vibe oh my god okay let's talk doom scrolling um someone asked

how do i overcome my phone scrolling addiction my screen time is embarrassing and you know what i really feel you on that i'm not gonna lie my screen time is probably you know what it's way better now um but it used to be like i would say during the pandemic when i was unemployed that portion of time um like I quite honestly would be on there all day and all night and and just like consuming the most unnecessary stuff but to be honest I did do a lot of creation as well and that's where I come to you with this multi-point perspective but I think dare I say dare i say phones are okay you can have a little bit of screen time okay babe you can get on your phone and have fun as long as you're using it in a productive manner let me explain i used to think

oh i could only be productive outside of my phone and then i realized no quite honestly a lot of my work a lot of my connections a lot of my creativity i do do through my phone literally my podcast entire thing through my phone social media i love it helps me connect to people i use it in a very healthy way um now this has been a recent change for me and i'm very kind of um intentional about this but when i'm the majority of what i'm consuming on my phone are things that i am doing creatively or something to better me i'm talking to my friends my family my parents i'm on facetime with a friend connecting love that super healthy super good I'm making collages I'm designing merch I'm making new images on procreate super healthy you know digital art is just as valid as

traditional style art as long as you're creating important you can also journal on there you got your notes app my notes app is so special to me I bet yours is just as special to you as well you get on there you do poetry at like 2 a.m that is the most coveted like phone experience that there is is just like binging your feelings aren't even binging just like getting rid of them into your notes app and then going to bed so healthy love it um you can use social media in a way that is very healthy that is you connecting to other people social media was created to be a very quick way to connect to other people so you don't have to have a fucking carrier pigeon take your letter and it takes 14 weeks to get another one back okay you only hear from your

loved one twice a year that's insane no social media you can text somebody and get a response in fucking seconds okay use it to do that use it to connect to people you've never connected to use it to explore new ideas to do new research to to go on those you know fucking like youtube spirals of a new information to consume media that is good for you watch documentaries watch in infographics not infographics what am i thinking of i don't know you can use your phone for good though dare i say dare i say i know it is a it's a capitalist tool inherently it's probably bad but we have it and they're so important so necessary in our lives that they're basically attached to our hand so if they're gonna be like that we might as well do the best with what we can

with it okay i don't have a lot of apps downloaded i use only a few social media sites um i do have a lot of like sites that i use for art and for creation um but when i'm not on my phone for that the amount of time that i do just like doom scrolling the amount of time i spend on like tiktok is very minimal i would say 30 minutes to maybe an hour a day which is a lot i say an hour is probably a lot that's how much time I'm spending on my phone um like just kind of mindlessly doing whatever something that's not productive and I allow that for myself because I think that's also important um you can indulge a little bit you know what I mean but to cure the doom scrolling and how much time I was simply spending on my phone is you have to let yourself be bored you

have to okay the phone is a fucking pacifier all right it's like you're you're a screaming baby your mind is a screaming baby when you're not looking at your phone mindlessly and so to cure the screaming baby you give yourself your phone and you just you blank out for eight hours and then wake up once you turn your phone off okay that's not healthy that's not okay stop giving yourself that fucking pacifier let yourself be bored see what kind of creative adventures you get up to go on a walk in your neighborhood you'll get bored and you'll find something to do because guess what that's what we did when we were kids i would be like i'm bored mom and dad i don't know what to do and they'd be like you'll figure it out and guess what that answer always fucking

pissed me off so much because i wanted them to cure my boredom but they're right i did always figure it out and i was always figuring out like super cool creative shit i was like i'm gonna start a band i'm gonna go recruit my neighbors we're gonna start a band i'm gonna go do this i'm gonna go do this i'm gonna paint a picture i'm gonna paint my room i'm gonna go adventure around the neighborhood like you always found something to hold your time whether it was extracurricular or internal okay allow yourself to be bored you'll find something to do i guarantee it and the more practice you put into that the better you'll be at making decisions at choosing things but i feel like we've become so passive so um indecisive so just like in our phones because

our phones are very easy to fall into they're made to be a trap okay tiktok was made to scroll forever for a reason you have to think about that okay escape the scroll you can do it just get a little bored okay get a little creative and the time that you do use your phone try and use it for things that are beneficial you can have that little indulgence i hear you that's okay but i think we should just let ourselves be bored more often quite honestly okay good question someone asked me how do i deal with my emotions and not get overwhelmed illy um i used to get overwhelmed a lot like i'm not gonna lie and it's kind of surprising that i can say this because this has never been the case for me but i don't get overwhelmed quite as much as i used to which

love we love growth um and i think that's because i've accepted my emotions quite honestly to not get overwhelmed by them you have to accept them and you have to accept them in that moment okay so like if you're sad you got to be like yeah i'm sad and i'm gonna feel it fully and understand it and then i'm gonna move on yeah i'm stressed and the stress sucks but i'm gonna get this thing done that's stressing me out and i'm gonna get through it and i'm gonna feel so much better on the end on the other side but i'm gonna allow myself to be stressed for a moment and validate that because it's it's a real feeling and you are feeling it and then keep going okay you gotta validate your emotions the same way you would like validate a child's emotions like it's okay to get stressed

it's okay to get upset to get angry to get mad to any of those things that are overwhelming but it's all about validating them understanding them and moving on okay you cannot get completely consumed by them um and to do so i think you also need to address them you can't pretend like they aren't happening you can't like pretend you're not stressed stressed or you're not sad or you're not mad in any way you got to understand like yes i am feeling this and that's okay but we're gonna move on does that make any sort of sense okay it's not even the last question but i got a lot of toxic x questions someone said how to stay away from your toxic x i knew he's trash but i always go back and to that i ask well no i don't really ask anything it's just in general way

easier to not grow than it is to change okay let me sit with you with let me oh my fucking god let me let you sit with that for a second while i smoke this bowl to regain consciousness but you know those people that you're just like god they are just in the worst place ever and they're toxic they're with somebody who's toxic you just want them to do better you want to root for them so hard but they just keep finding themselves back on in these situations back with these people back in these places it's because it's easy it's easy it's so easy they're there it's convenient you already know what you went through so you already know what to expect it's easy the hard part is to choose

yourself and to do better and to change that is really fucking hard and it takes a lot of guts it takes a lot of strength and it takes a lot of self-awareness that some people simply do not have okay the question is are you gonna pick the hard choice like yeah it's hard no one's gonna tell you it's not it is very hard and are you going to do better and see better from that because i guarantee that you will i a thousand percent guarantee it or are you just gonna keep doing the same exact thing over and over and over again and get disappointed every single time you already know the outcome you do and you can't fake it you can't lie to yourself every single time that you're like well this time no but this time well maybe this time no you know exactly what's gonna

happen because you've already been through it maybe once maybe twice maybe many times you've been through it you understand there's no changing okay there isn't the only thing that you can change is yourself and the you can't change the situation but you can absolutely change yourself so pick yourself choose yourself it's hard i i hear you it is super hard i'm not saying that anything we talk about in this podcast is ever easy we talk about glowing up we talk about choosing ourselves about journaling about prioritizing ourselves about setting boundaries and i sit here and i talk about it and yeah it sounds really easy because i'm covering it in a 50 minute podcast sometimes an hour podcast yeah it's gonna sound like these things should be easy and then some

of you guys are probably faced with you know a little bit of backlash it's a little harder than you imagine so you probably give up I'm not sitting here telling you that choosing yourself or prioritizing yourself or getting yourself out of toxic situations are going to be easy they're going to be very very hard and I don't know how to explain that to you over a podcast but I've had many a mental breakdown many a change of situation many a sleepless nights okay trying to figure out how to do better trying to make those hard steps worrying about those hard steps but let me tell you this as soon as i made those hard decisions and chose myself and did better oh immediate immediate satisfaction immediate weight released off my fucking shoulders okay because you choose

yourself and there's an inherent piece in that there's a piece in knowing that you protected yourself that you wanted better for yourself and you did it because technically you are the only person that can control that can control yourself all right you gotta be in control babe and it's hard but i know you can do it if i can do it i am so lazy okay like i am so lazy if i can do better be better choose better every single day so can you all right and it's hard i hear you but we'll do it together don't let it get to you don't give up i promise we'll make it through it but for real leave the toxic ex straight up in the past we need to leave those cycles babe it's spring we're doing better we're getting better we're glowing up all right and we're gonna do it together i love you

all so so much thank you for joining me um once again all questions come from my instagram at hannah marlene a few of you guys were confused on where to submit things um feel free to submit them to my dms at hannah marlene or i put up a questionnaire every week you guys know the drill um where you can submit your questions there in a shorter version um i usually submit or put it up on sunday or monday so keep an eye out for that follow me watch my stories i love you all so so much i'll keep you up life updated there um but with that i'll see you next tuesday i love you