Smoke Sesh - confessionals & story times

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

Happy Thursday! I asked for you guys to submit confessionals to Instagram @hannahmarlene and you guys.. had some crazy stuff to say. Hannah reads & reviews them as well as tells her story times because some of it is a little too relatable. Things get crazy so buckle up! I’ll see you next Tuesday feel free to submit more questions you have to my Instagram.

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Oh, hello, you guys. i would say good morning um but actually i woke up this morning recorded a whole entire podcast

um i sometimes just like listen through it to be like do i like this and usually like yes i fucking hit the nail on the head like i get it in one go um but this time i sat down and recorded and I listened back through it and I was like bitch what the fuck like nothing I heard was satisfactory does that make sense sometimes just as an artist I'm like oh it's like in my soul in my body to be like I can do better I can do better it's from the year of horrible like brutal critiques actually my critiques usually went pretty well because I put my heart and soul into but it's from my like professors nailing into me and my parents you know what get into a little therapy session that like you know what you can do better like what more can you do so i wanted

to give you guys the episode you deserve with these crazy fucking confessionals that you sent me because they are so good um and i want to give give you guys the honor the blessing the um you know yeah the episode you guys deserve because you guys really came to me with fucking everything like oh my god so literally right now i'm just sitting in my car and i'm like let's pull another podcast out and let's get her up because i just got a dm that was like girl where's the podcast because i need this asap and it's like i hear you i just want to get you quality content so so let's see what have i been up to i i mean it's only been two days you know what i mean i recorded a literal whole podcast on the divine feminine girl blunts and why i think they cause

acne um and what else i talk about oh sex toys anal i know i get real personal mom and dad do not listen to that um if you did listen to it though i asked for your confessionals um story times anything crazy that you've done and um i also posted something on my instagram yesterday asking for you guys to submit them if you wanted them read on today's podcast um and you guys sent me so many um so i did that um yesterday i was just fucking exhausted i closed like four days in a row which is like essentially i was at work till like 11 every fucking night um and i i was just exhausted yesterday i really did not do a whole bunch other than just like smoke i opened some packages i posted on tiktok if you guys follow my i've been posting on my second

tiktok which is at fairy smoke mother um one of my depot packages literally i thought it was trash i was i thought it was just trash on my front porch no they had wrapped my bag my shoes that I ordered in a kitty litter bag yeah like in a used kitty litter bag which like I love a good reduce reuse recycle moment but at least put it inside out or something because I thought it was just like my roommate's trash on the front porch and I totally would have missed it and I had like $80 shoes in there but that was super funny I think everybody thought I was hating but I don't know I feel like everybody on tiktok tiktok everybody on tiktok oh my fucking god everything everybody on tiktok has hate in their heart so they assume that everybody else is hating and

then they get offended that you're hating and it's like no like peace love positivity i just thought this was a funny story that i wanted to share y'all can laugh because everybody was like you know what i actually like it and i'm like okay i never like i just was confused on why it came in a kitty litter bag like it's okay y'all can chill that's why i haven't posted on tiktok in a fucking month but i've learned through this month to simply not care and that is what i've been doing and honestly it's been going good for me um i went and okay so i whenever i carry weed around i get a little paranoid because i grew up in a non-legal state so like i don't like smelling like weed i don't know it's just been conditioned into me like i still adhere to some sort of

societal norm of being like i don't want to smell like weed so that's why i'm covered in perfume and also i'm afraid to take my weed into like super duper public settings i don't know why but i've been looking for some good alternative and dime bags sent me some of their shit um like a backpack and then like a little to-go bag and it came with a mini tray like a rolling tray inside of it it was so cute I was like yes thank you they sent me some of that stuff to try out and I was like okay listen I'll give it a good shot so um I needed to run some errands yesterday and I ended up at Prospero's Books in Kansas City if you guys know where that is love it there the vibe's incredible I love going in there like the inner artist in me I was taught to kind of

collect and collect a lot like although you should be creating a lot and posting it showing it to the world a lot to succeed you also need to be a collector um so like a lot of our homework assignments and a lot of my personal assignments for research purposes i would always go into libraries go into bookstores go into stores go anywhere and just collect images and of things i liked even like on your phone you can do this on pinterest as a tool um but i also like doing it in the real world and especially in libraries so i went to prospero's books for a little bit and i had my shit on me and let me tell you i did not smell shit at all i was impressed the entire time i was running trips like or running in my errands i just like did not smell anything

and i was like okay but i also posted some photos on my instagram so you can go see those there at hannah marlene you'll give me a little like say hey um i also have a code for you they sent me a code with the bags i was like god damn this is very nice okay like you guys didn't have to send me shit i was just i could have bought it but very sweet and they sent me a code for you guys if you want to try it out um it's smoke sash 15 and gets you 15 off um but yeah i kind of love now i will be taking my little to go bag with me everywhere i go um but yeah that's really all i've been up to go follow the gram if you want to keep up with me and everything i get up to during the day because i don't know how else to update you this is like a little voice diary that i do every

week i love catching up with you guys here though as well but some people some people are like i want all access which is like fine i do like posting everything about myself openly to the internet i don't know why maybe it's i don't know that's something to bring up my therapist oh my god anyways we're gonna get into some of your guys confessionals and i'm gonna do some embarrassing stories in the middle of it as well and yeah i think that's gonna be our podcast for the day it's gonna be a little short because i did record a whole hour and a half episode and hated the entire thing so i'm restarting and yeah apologies for that if it is short anyways let's get into it okay first of all i need to address something i got

so many confessionals like an overwhelming majority of the confessionals that i got were like oh i slept with my uh best friend's boyfriend oh i slept with my boyfriend's best friend oh i slept with this person's best friend oh my god you guys that's crazy you guys are like almost crazier than i am tbh like that is insane i can't believe so many of you guys have done it and a lot of them were like and i haven't told bitch you guys are having your cassie moment you guys are having your cassie moment and i'm gonna need you to come clean i'm you're because i'm sure you're going insane you guys cannot sleep with other people's significant others that is so bad that's bad and if you do the people who did confess and were like also i told them

props at least you told them like you have to come clean or karma's gonna get you in some crazy way i i have to be honest um but that was that was fucking insane um a lot of those y'all you guys had need to figure it out um but someone else said one time i hooked up with a guy and he didn't make me come so i took 400 cat 400 cash off his desk that is so funny i am obsessed with that because someone else was like someone else that was just like sent a random question the other day when i put up questions on my instagram for you guys to submit yours someone else was like what do we do about faking orgasms never fake your orgasm literally ever okay first of all i'm totally recording this in my car outside of my house right now so if any of my neighbors have

their windows open they can totally hear me like they can totally hear me they're definitely getting a free show anyways let's talk about orgasms if they are being nosy this is what they have to listen to i'm bad um but stop it stop i've had this talk with you guys once before we are not in the faking orgasms that is not in 2022 okay men need to learn because i hear so many horror stories from girls who are like i this man literally was nowhere near my clit and he thought he was doing some magic like this man was not hitting the right spot this man came in two minutes and then was like looked over at me like i was nothing okay what you guys need to control them like okay no offense like like tell them what the fuck is up do not fake this shit to give them

their little ego boost okay you deserve more also if you just like fake it he's gonna assume that he's doing something right and then he's gonna go on to do that same thing to the other girls he hooks up with and traumatize them as well so save the women some trouble okay tell that man to move his hand fucking three centimeters to where he's actually touching the right spot okay switch positions do what you gotta do but i'm tired of the faking orgasms if a man can't make you come look him in the eyes and be like you failed like straight up we need to start telling the honest truth to these men oh my god sorry i'm drinking my cherry vanilla coke i am addicted to cherry vanilla coke it is an issue

anyways love that also if he doesn't make you come steal 400 off his desk um also why was there 400 on his desk i'm assuming it was probably from drugs because no one just has cash money laying around unless he was like a server or something because you also probably did steal his drug money which i think is low-key a flex but also like very dangerous stay safe but yeah we're not faking orgasms this 2022 also like if they do something wrong tell them low-key men love that be like do better do this tell them what to do i don't know why but a lot of men like being bossed around so get a little bossy it's okay speak up for yourself advocate girly you deserve to come straight up or if you don't venmo request them 400 amen okay okay these are really funny

we're just gonna dive through them and i'm gonna tell you guys some embarrassing stories that i because i relate to a lot of these um but okay first up one time a man asked me to dry my anxious sweaty face with a hair dryer that is bold and out of pocket why a hair dryer first of all that is so rude i would have straight up been like we're done i'm going home like how dare you tell me to dry my face with a hair dryer if he was a true man he'd be like oh babe let me get you a towel let me just casually just wipe your face for you you need a man like that i'm so sorry um i get super like um i don't get sweaty i get like actually i do get sweaty and i get smelly if i don't wear deodorant oh my god but i get really sweaty um underarms but the worst part

about my anxiety is i shake i know i get the shakes and then i shake too much like when i was first hanging out with my boyfriend i would just like get the shakes because i'm high plus nervous it's just like ultimate shakes he's like are you cold and i just have to be like yeah i'm freezing can you warm up my hands for me like play it off i don't know it's so funny oh my god one time a man bit me in the woods because he couldn't contain himself with the thought of me that is insane that is a psychopath that man is might be a murderer that man might kill women like what what do you mean he couldn't contain himself and then he couldn't contain himself so his like impulse was to bite you that's crazy that's insane oh my god okay so i have like

this is kind of embarrassing but kind of not it's just funny more so embarrassing for the other person but on my instagram speaking of biting made my boyfriend look crazy i can't lie listen when you trust somebody you have fun whatever there were bite marks on my ass anyways consensual i took these photos um in the mountains naked kind of naked you can see my ass not really it's on instagram and there's bite marks on my ass it's like bruises obviously and someone commented and goes oh you don't wipe the shit off your ass before posting instagram pictures and i had to pause and be like when have i ever got shit on my ass like ever from like does this person just like get shit all over them like what are they talking about like no obviously these are

bite marks you can pretty much tell but i'm so sorry that man bit you in the woods um uh you need to file a restraining order that is crazy behavior okay sucked a milf's titties oh my god and vip at the strip club i work at in front of her husband that might be the dream i am not even fucking with you that might be the dream and here's the thing what's even more of the dream is i bet you also got paid to do it that's crazy that's a good confession i love that um if anybody has like good um strip club confessions i'm so interested in strip club culture i'm currently a bartender although i don't think i could strip i think it'd be so fun to be like a bartender at one of the clubs or something like i think it'd be so fun um i love

the vibes the energy also i've never worked in a strip club so i could be completely misjudging so let me know about that but oh my god i gave head to my high school bully's dad when i was a freshman i'm gonna have to pause uh jules moment jules moment i'm so sorry i have to make a joke because i'm not sure what to say that's insane that's insane that's kind of crazy it's kind of a flex but also kind of not but kind of like i fuck with it okay one time i had a uti mp'd in my ex's car seat yeah felt that utis listen girl you really cannot control it um it's just gonna come out if you have to be on antibiotics like straight up you have to be on medication or else you're just gonna piss like i think i've told this story before so embarrassing i was so embarrassed

i didn't tell my boyfriend for like nine months but i had a uti so bad that i pissed the bed in the middle of the night and he was sleeping next to me and he did not know it um because we were kind of sleeping on separate sides of the bed so i had to just like clean it up while he was asleep and then i took the day off of work the next day because i had a uti i need to go get medication and i cleaned his bed like power clean that shit without him realizing and it's so funny now to look back on like it's so funny that i was so embarrassed when it happened i was like i can't tell us a soul like i can't tell anybody and now like nine months later i just think it's so funny i had to tell my boyfriend and now it's like a joke between us he totally pissed his bed though

um you may be in his dms i am pissing in his bed anyways i accidentally stole someone's vape the worst thing is i don't even vape i'm a notorious lighter thief like i don't know why i'm not even intentionally stealing lighters like i am so sorry i know these are kind of the worst people i just have them in my hand and i love like i don't know my adhd plus like smoking is like more of a conversational based thing like if you're smoking with other people so like i'll be talking and i like fidgeting with something in my hand and usually that's a lighter and so usually i'm holding on to the lighter and then like i don't realize i'm holding on to it and then i just leave with it and then i'm like oh shit i got a lighter in my hand yeah so sorry if i've ever

stolen a lighter from you i'm i really apologize one time this man slapped my cooch what slapped was in all capitals slapped it like open hand slapped it what is what has he done or what has he been watching to open hand slap your cooch the woman was too stunned to speak that is insane oh my god did you hear the car drive by me i'm literally when i tell you i'm sitting in my car recording this i genuinely mean it because in my room there's been a little bit of an echo and it's totally bothering me also i just got way too high and i drove from my boyfriend's house this morning to my house and i'm just sitting outside my house and i don't want to go inside you know those moments when you're just like oh decompress i'm gonna sit in my car for 45 minutes and watch

tiktoks before i have to walk into my house that's what i'm at but now i'm just recording a podcast anyways next confessional okay before my now ex and i became official i got really drunk with my girlies and had a threesome i feel like i know a couple other stories like this but y'all took girls night literally that's so funny okay i've been secretly fucking my co-worker but i kind of want to stop doing it girl what do i do okay i tell everybody this do not fuck your co-workers don't fuck your co-workers i think it's like the worst idea ever okay because like the only reason a you guys probably even want to fuck is because you spend time around each other you guys have to be around each other you're at work but that's also kind of the worst part about it because

if you just want it to be a mutually like sex related relationship you have to be able to have like a relationship outside of that in a different capacity at work and i feel like a lot of people have a really hard time doing it and then they start hating work because it becomes weird for them to go to work and then they start not enjoying themselves and then they start like having to find a new job like it is a slippery slope that you do not want to fall down now i do think like it can be done if you're like really good at casual dating which some people are i have realized some people are very good at casual dating and like vibe if you can fuck somebody and immediately just be like yeah whatever like cool then you then you might be able to fuck your

co-workers but for other people i know that people get attached and they get weird and then they get like it's just like casual dating is not easy for everybody and that's okay just maybe don't fuck your co-workers because don't get your sex life and your money life confused okay you need that money more than you need that sex always okay and you don't want to have to go find a new job i mean unless you do then bon voyage have fun girl dive right in but sloppy seconds oh my god what my bf has a fetish and supposedly so do a lot of guys lol like your sloppy seconds or his like i'm confused like like cuckolding type of sloppy seconds i'm interested i don't know how many men listen to this podcast um like at all i'm pretty sure this is like a 99.9 percent listened

to by women um which like vibe i don't care who listens come join but if you're a man and you have any idea about this or if this girl wants to give me some more insight let me know because i'm not gonna lie i think that is my man's worst nightmare but like listen if your man's into it and you are good i'm glad you found each other that's all this life is about you just gotta find the right freak for you okay next what's the oh my god what's the worst thing one of your friends has done to your house at a party they said thrown up in parents bed i've never had anything that bad happen to me i've thrown a few parties but the people that i invite are usually very respectful um i have had friends fuck in my parents bed i am so sorry to my parents i did leave them there

alone overnight so it does make sense that they just ended up in a random bed and they didn't realize it was my parents um but yeah that happened um i had i did accidentally give my friend um alcohol poisoning in my basement she threw up blue shit everywhere um that's not her fault though i'm so sorry i gave you alcohol poisoning you know i love you girl she knows who this is i don't i doubt she's listening to this but she's a real one um that's not really embarrassing for me or her i just feel bad i did have to scrub the shit out of my floors though um but yeah no i haven't really had any oh oh i'm remembering things i'm remembering things okay you know what i had a new year's eve party one time at my parents house um and the the thing

was they were like you cannot have the house to yourself for the night we will come back at like 12 31 and then we're going to bed you guys can keep partying doing whatever but we will be here at some point and i was like first of all i was pissed because at first they were like yeah you can have the house and then they were like we don't trust you so i was like okay well whatever i'm just gonna party in front of you then you can see what the fuck i'm gonna get up to and so i'm bad so it's like 12 o'clock at night you know by this point we had taken ever clear shots we had a champagne fountain we had previously been doing gbs on my roof um and so you know i'm just blacked out let's be honest beer pong had been played i'm blacked out um and my parents

get home and i'm having a whole conversation with them and i remember having the conversation with them and i remember not knowing at all what was going on in the conversation and i know that was very apparent because my parents were just like okay we're going to bed and they went upstairs and they just left me alone as soon as we finished talking i stepped outside on my back porch turned to the left and just projectile vomited all in the bushes now do i know if my parents saw that or not considering it was such short like contact i have no idea i was too busy projectile vomiting in the bushes but yeah after that night my parents said i was never allowed to do that at their house again tbh did i do it again yeah but they weren't there but that's fine whatever but that's that

might be the worst thing i have done at my house but my friends have been quite honestly very respectful um other than just like projectile vomiting in some places that's fine i personally don't take that personally because we're getting fucked up you know vomit sometimes included oh my god x so toxic he came to visit me from different states while having a gf lied to me so i dm so i dm'd her oh you're a real one listen if that happens to you if you get caught and you're like oh shit this person has a gf at least you dm'd her and i told her okay that is like the most you can do i have a crazy story i have a crazy story and i'm gonna tell it because you know what loki the girl might listen to this podcast and i've talked to my friend about telling

it on tiktok and she told me i could so i'll tell her at brunch tomorrow morning but she got caught in a situation like this and listen the most you can do if you do get caught in a situation like this is tell the girl that is the most you can do to save yourself from karma okay because then you're setting like emotions in the right direction for the universe to figure it out okay you don't want to be that blockage of that person's knowledge now my friend had this man continuously hitting her up in her dms constantly hitting her up and occasionally they would hook up very like randomly though it was like not a lot like not weekly not even monthly i think it was once every few months you know what i mean i think they went to different colleges as well so that's probably

why um she thought it was just like a little fling whatever when she finally did hook up with him there were some red flags i thought he was just like an odd fucking weird ass man as men are constantly um because she was like yeah he made me jump the fence and then come in through the back door and then she also was like he had a micro penis basically and i was like girl i am so sorry you had to go through that me yelling about this shit i am i know my fucking neighbors are hearing all of this i am so sorry i just am not leaving my car yet um and you know what i i am not one to judge she went back um and i think he was hit she was at the bars or something going out hanging out just having fun with her girlies and he was hitting up her phone being

like let's hang out later let's hang out later so she's sitting at the bar and um she brings him up and um the lady sitting next to her also brings him up like oh blah blah blah and she was like oh yeah that's my friends with benefits my friend was like oh that's my friends with benefits like i've hooked up with him and the girl sitting next to her goes that's my boyfriend my heart would have dropped to my fucking asshole probably fell out straight onto that bar floor i I'm not even lying um yeah and this girl started freaking out on her I mean rightfully so no offense she didn't really know anything my friend I ended up telling like her friend like everything that happened and she told this girl everything that happened like I'm not sure if she texted it

to her too but she said at that bar and told her like um he's hitting me up like I don't know what to do like i didn't know you guys were dating like there are no pictures of you on his instagram like all of this shit and i think they're still together but but the most literally all i can say is my friend did the right thing by telling her like yo your boyfriend is fucking on you like no offense that is really the most you can do if they want to be blind and you know keep going with that man that is on them but also you know men are horrible like holy shit i cannot believe that happened to her i was like girl i'm so sorry men have have the audacity that is for sure i'm dating my ex again but he is a small p first of all why are you dating your ex again second of

all how small because like i feel like some girls are like oh small dicks but it's like you can usually work with them but now like how small because i i've like i've never been with a micro penis but i have seen one in real life we had like art models come in and this man had like one inch and i was like no i understand when women are like i can't work with that but like you know i feel like length is really not too much of an issue it's kind of all about girth and motion of the ocean now i do have kind of an embarrassing bad story um fun time my ex who we weren't dating at the time but we were doing truth or drink and when i when i drink i get a little bold um just a little bold and i don't know i didn't like this man at all i

don't know why he i dated him but and i'm realizing that through my previous actions we were playing to the drink and he looked at me and he was like okay am i the biggest man you've ever been with like do i the biggest dick and i looked this man down the eyes and i go no he was so mad at me he was so mad at me but i just had to be honest i was like feeling a little mean for some reason i was just like no you don't and then i was like shocked that he was mad i don't know why i was like damn that was brutal and i don't know why that slipped out of me during that time but i had to tell the truth and i do not regret it i had sex in a skate park it was daytime that's so funny at this point i'm surprised i haven't i go to so many skate parks with my

boyfriend they're just it's always like so busy like i don't know there's never like i don't know i definitely have had sex in like a what a cornfield every time we go on a vacation it's usually somewhere like tbh but never a skate park i have no idea why one day you'll hear from me and i have dated a man a year ago for a week and he still stalks me online he keeps making accounts that's crazy um my favorite thing about instagram is when you block somebody it blocks all of the accounts they can possibly make that's like my favorite thing i think every single social media um platform should do that because stalkers are real and they're fucking weird and crazy one time i cut this girl's hair in middle school because she was a bitch i still can't stand her

that's funny that's funny do you just like cut a chunk out do you have the whole ponytail out like what's going on i remember one time me and my cousin got like we used to hate each other when we were little and we got into a fist fucking fight and my uncle had to pull me off her and literally when he pulled me off her i ripped out a chunk like a chunk of hair from her scalp so she was bald and i had like all of the hair fisted in my fist yeah i was like five it was bad i'm not sure why they let us fight like that but um i ordered an on elephant shit to my ex's house after she broke up with me over the phone oh my god oh my god literally what what you can order that shit online like is it real we have been dating for two years and she lived five minutes

away and give me and gave me like no reasons either you know what valid if she broke up with you over the phone didn't give you a reason and live five minutes away like she could have came over and been like we're done yeah elephant shit her front porch i think that's so funny um that is actually really hilarious okay um i let the voice actor of jimmy neutron's son hit i didn't find out till after but still shook that is a flex i am not even fucking lying that is a flex if i did that i would put that in my bio like do you think he can do the jimmy neutron voice too like do you think it's genetic like did he use it during sex like what's going on how did you find out does his dad rich from that like i have so i have so many questions

oh my god that's so funny though i have an ex that fully murdered two people oh my god at least they're an ex you know what at least they're an ex oh my god okay when me and my sister was 16 we tricked her grandma into taking us to get acid and she even gave us the money to get the acid while even knowing the trip was uh pretty fun very eye-opening that's funny grandma's a ride or die she said you know what you know what i bet grandma knew what was going on i'm not even gonna lie like when i am 80 i'm totally gonna play it as if i don't know what the fuck's going on but like you know what if i'm hanging out with my grandkids and they need some acid at least i know they have a safe ride with me that is so funny your grandma said yes let's go

she gave you the money too i'm glad it was a good trip your grandma really set those vibes for you she really made sure i'm taking household items every time my parents piss me off for when i move out valid you just stockpiling like clorox wipes in your closet like they're like where'd the crock pot go you're like uh i don't know oh my god that's so funny i should have done that i should have taken more things to my parents house i'm not even lying i kept my boyfriend a secret for a year from my parents i think i did the same thing i am not even lying so with my ex and i told you i didn't even like tbh i'm sure i don't know i felt like i was just like i'm being mean anyways um

i yeah i didn't tell my parents about him for a year and he started getting mad at me he was like why don't you tell your parents about me like i used to sneak to go see him i used to just leave college to go see him never told my parents i was with him um constantly did it to the point that he was like i why are you hiding me like what's going on my parents even knew that i was like hanging out with the guy at this point like then they were like why don't you bring him around why don't you want to share your life with us and i realized it was because i didn't like him like i just did not like him i think that was low-key the thing i just did not want to bring him around that's so bad but like straight up almost got stabbed by my ex's ex and then he

cheated on her with me that's bad you know what they you dodged a bullet you first of all at least you didn't get stabbed and also i'm so sorry you are so sorry you got cheated on but that bitch sounds crazy i'm not even fucking lying and he must be crazier to want to put up with that shit so you straight up dodged a bullet they are gonna be bad for each other that is for sure i stole so much money from the from my ex-boyfriend after i found out he was seeing other girls oops you know what valid that's valid if they don't make you come and if they're fucking cheating on you i think you can take some money my fucking ex did me dirty he really stole money from me and he he i wasn't even cheating on him he just stole money from me and left i should have stole money from

him he still owes me financially i need that money back okay my ex a pisces male oh god reached out to me during this retrograde and i'm entertaining it girl how many times do i have to tell you that this is a time for karmatic relationships during this retrograde you don't want to get stuck in one okay okay but also you know what i support women's rights but i also support women's wrongs good luck girly okay i finally made it in my house i'm gonna load a little bowl y'all want to smoke a little bit hang out for a sec um this podcast might get be straight up a little short i gotta go run some errands oh there's hair all over this but thank you guys for sending in your confessionals i have one more to read um and yeah i'm gonna do a bowl i feel like doing a bowl because i don't have a

lot of weed i think it'll be a better option i forgot to bring some with me oh i just have keef but keef bowls straight up are kind of just like crazy all at once um let me know your favorite way to smoke though i'm very interested like what way do you guys smoke personally love blazy susans and love me a good rig love me a good um piece but if you have any favorite companies you have any artists you know you have any um i don't know just anything you want to send me anything that's on your mind i straight up like okay i don't have a lot of friends i'm not even fucking lying and so interacting with you guys gives me like all the serotonin i need so like let me know what's on your mind let me know what you're going through questions you have

concerns you have um funny memes you see i literally whenever you guys send me funny memes they're always like so accurate i put them on my story i put one on my story today it was like lana del rey hitting a bong and it was like oh fuck what was it um it was kind of focused on making my ass fatter right now and they said you i was like valid because really that is all i really am focused on summer's coming up i got so many trips planned um i'm trying to make it out to la a few times which means i'm gonna need to be well although we are all bikini ready like literally literally anybody in a bikini i'm like hot sexy love it vibe like i'm not even fucking with you like every single person and i feel like especially in mexico i went there a few

times really young and that's the kind of vibe that's there like everybody's very body confident like curves are more in you know what i mean and i felt like my mom's a little curvier so going to mexico she like i could see that she was more comfortable there like with her body like she wore like quote-unquote skimpier bikinis there because it was more societally like accepted and then we come to the u.s and like in my neighborhood pool she'd wear something that's like a little bit more covered and i'll be like girl you wear whatever the fuck you want like everybody looks so good i'm so excited but i want to be a little curvier i want a fatter ass so i've been working on that we're trying to get that one done but i work so fucking much soon so i haven't been

able to do a whole lot of work other than just eating food which is half the work love that part oh my god whole mouthful oh my god oh i forgot to put a filter in this bitch yeah i just don't know how to filters and usually i assume that i won't pull through but you really have to puff softly on these next time i go to la though i really will need somebody there to hang out with who has a rig or a bong because when i went there i only smoked pipes and joints

um because i didn't want to buy a rig when i was only going to be out there for a week um and we bought dabs and we bought shit that we wanted to try out different stuff so or if there's like any cafes where they let you use shit like that like i don't know i'm going to the smokers club concert in april 30th i still need to get tickets so if you're out there during that time let me know if you have any airbnb suggestions let me know but i think that might be it for our podcast today thank you guys for the confessionals the secrets the embarrassing stories i love to hear it all um i was talking to my co-worker the other day and he was like on day four of a bender like going through it and he was ready to keep going and i was like how are

you doing this like how do you have the brain power to go on these fucking benders because i completely i am not even fucking lying to you like over the pandemic i just rotted my brain out quite honestly i was doing so many drugs drinking all the time um eating molly like mushrooms for like a year and a half that now like this past year has been self-love self-care like my year of rest my year of rest and relaxation vibes um so like when people are like i'm on day four of a bender i'm like how the fuck do you have the energy to do that because my brain would give out like i am not even kidding so i'm trying to just like self-love self-care self take care of myself um so that i can have some benders like that and be okay still be alive afterwards

because listen i went on like a year and a half bender and that was just too much um i have this like alter ego that comes out when i am partying which is like fun she's funky she's fresh she's great like love her um but you know gets a little crazy and sometimes gets a little out of control like we've all been there okay like it's fun to be fun like drunk and fucked up until you're too drunk and fucked up and everybody has been the too drunk and fucked up person and everybody's had to deal with the too drunk and fucked up person which is fine both is fine you just have to learn your fucking boundaries which i have absolutely learned by now but um there was this moment during the pandemic where i didn't really um know my boundaries and i earned myself my alter ego

name which is hannah rager everybody at my like work started calling me hannah rager because although although none of them really knew me when i first got there they we had some mutual friends and my mutual friends were like party friends of ours so people we had been out with like from the edm community that i have like partied with like they had snuck me into club or like bars yeah and clubs under age like we were partying together so they knew me as hannah rager and then i got there to work and i was like oh i can't do that shit anymore you know what i mean like i feel so old my brain is so fried so i've been trying to just you know condition and relax so i can have a few of those nights where i can still party and be fun but i've gotten out

of control a little bit a few just a few times just a few times usually i can hold it together um there was one time though and it was with my boyfriend like usually when i got too out of control of my friends it's usually not that big of a deal because i'm just with my friends i don't really ever hurt anybody's feelings but when me and my boyfriend were taught this is so funny when me and my boyfriend were talking um me and my friends had been like on a whole a whole roll we went to brunch that morning and then ended up buying baby pools and putting them in my backyard and we were on molly and shrooms and we were the crystals and not like crystals eating them but we were putting crystals on each other and like playing music and it was just like craziness

and so it was like hour nine of me partying right and he was not partying he was at work um so he got off work like a really hard rough day of work and usually when you get off a long day of work um you want to like relax and chill but i was like party mode like let's go let's have fun so my energy hitting his energy was just like chaotic and he was in between places at the time so he was living at his parents for a little bit and i got to his parents house and i was like blacked out knocking shit off the walls i apparently had a truly in my hand which i sat down which fell which started spilling everywhere and i just like left it and i he got me in the shower and we were showering and i was like knocking shit off the walls and he was

like i like i had my first ever like you know when you get too fucked up and somebody has to talk to you and be like you can't do that again i was so embarrassed the next morning because he was like hannah like you're so fun you are so funny like i love you so much but you cannot do this around my parents and i was like i am so sorry to be fair i was black the fuck out but we all have those embarrassing moments like that and that was a major one of mine um but yeah hannah rager comes out and she obviously will come out all these festivals i have planned um all the concerts i have planned if there's anything you're going to or that you're interested in send me the lineup let me check it out maybe you'll make it there um if you guys work for

any festival companies and want to get me in a was uh no i'm joking um but i'm also not joking um i love festivals i love concerts and i can't wait to party this summer i'm just trying to work and make some money and make it through this winter um but thank you for the confessionals thank you for being here thank you for literally everything every time i see that we're in the charts it blows my fucking mind every time i see how many people are listening to this podcast it blows my fucking mind quite honestly um it's like a dream come true i can't believe my online like verbal diary is just like a safe space for so many people two times a week oh my god um thank you for being here thank you for everything you do for me for showing up for sending in questions

every week and thank you for everything you do for here i couldn't be here if you weren't here so let's i love that for you love that we're all here sharing this experience together um let's let me take one more pull of this bowl Dr. Seuss who is I don't think that even rhymes but oh my god I know it's not as satisfying as a oh pulling weed out of my mouth definitely not as satisfying as a bong but thank you guys for being here I hope you have a wonderful Thursday I will see you next Tuesday we're gonna do a valentine's day episode the good the bad the ugly my past experiences what i have planned i'm so excited if you have any questions feel free to send them over to

my instagram at hannah marlene leave a little like leave a little comment feel free to rate and review this podcast and i will see you next tuesday