Smoke Sesh - Confessionals! Welcome to Girl Church

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

Hello all! So sorry I missed last week, was taking a lil time off to celebrate my spring break and plan for this podcast. Today we have an extra long episode to make up for it as we finally spill some secrets and get into your confessionals. I spill my deepest darkest secrets and read your anonymous confessions this week! We also do a little question speed round and go over new nails, making mistakes and forgiving yourself, virginity, insecurity, friend fist fights, stay in school kids, marriage & kids, post psych ward scaries, moving too fast, travel boyfriends, apartment hunting, fantasizing, don't smoke, regret, in my babygirl era, dating a loser, hoodie updates and much much much much more! Thank you for giving me a week off and staying patient, I can't wait to grow and include so many new fun segments for you all on this podcast. I couldn't be here without you guys and i'm forever grateful <3 if you want to access the extra episode join the Patreon club patron.com/smokeseshshawty and the instagram @hannahmarlene to see what i'm up to and submit your questions every week! Stay sexy & chat soon! MUAH!

Legendary is here with BetMGM Sportsbook. Sign up to unlock access to hundreds of pre-match and live betting options for all your favorite sports. Download the BetMGM app. See BetMGM.com for terms. 18 plus Alberta only. Please play responsibly. Subject to eligibility requirements.

If gambling is affecting your mental health or well-being, 211 Alberta is here to help. Call or text 211 or visit ab.211.ca. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with the Alberta iGaming Corporation. Standard message and data rates may apply. listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you could call me hannah

the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hotties of the world welcome back to another beautiful amazing wonderful episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah i'm so excited to be back with you guys for another episode this week so so so so so very sorry i was a little mia last week everything's good okay usually when i disappear for a little bit unannounced it's because I'm having a mentee bee episode and I need to just like retreat into a hole in the ground for an unbeknownst amount of time listen sometimes you need it mental health day you know I'm retreating from the world forever but that was

not the case this time thank god um I actually took a week off considered it almost like my spring break I feel like most of you guys are going through spring break right now um you know you finally are having a moment away from school you're either taking time to regroup to question to really look around you identify what is working what isn't working maybe you're taking time off to go party to celebrate your wins your successes um to just rest relax and regroup i feel like especially with spring everything is blooming the trees are turning green again all the like i think they're called dogwood trees around me are blooming with their white gorgeous flowers they smell awful but they are pretty that is uh unfortunate for them but um you know spring is

doing a whole reset and I feel like we as humans feel the urge to do a full reset as well and it's something I've been really trying to be intentional about recently is being aware of my emotions and being aware of what I need and what I want to do and taking action accordingly I feel like maybe in the past I have known what I want and I needed but I didn't maybe believe in myself or trust in myself or any sort of like self-depreciating be like thoughts or behaviors kept me from doing what truly felt right maybe I felt like I didn't have the emotional space to feel those emotions fully to accept them to let them simply be and so that's something I've really been trying to work on recently so last week when I sat down to film this on our usual Tuesday I was just like

you know what i need a week i need a day it's spring everybody's on spring break i'm also feeling that energy i need a week to not only kind of rethink this podcast not in a bad way but just like what do i want the future to look like what exciting things do i want to bring to you guys um also like what content do i want to create i actually took the week and i made a little cooking video that's up on my um not youtube my instagram little cooking reel that was super fun to make kind of got me back into the creative zone again um also my whole life was just kind of chaotic a mess like a child's fucking collage with glitter and glue and stickers and things everywhere and that is fantastic that is beautiful but also when my space is a mess

I feel crazy out of control I feel like my life is going insane so I took last week to also like do my laundry get my dishes done mop the floors water my plants take care of me reset my routine and really set up my ideal life um my ideal weekly routine so that I can live in my ideal life this upcoming spring and summer when you want to make something happen you got to take action accordingly when you feel the need to do something you're feeling that need for a reason when you feel the urge to do something whether it's take a mental health day to work harder whatever it is you feel that urge for a reason and when you act accordingly the universe recognizes that and will return the favor but when you ignore that gut feeling and you act in direct like opposition

against it that's when like the universe gets confused and you're gonna get just as confused as well so if you need a break take a break if you need to pause reset regroup do so you will feel so much better for it and no one should ever feel ashamed for taking a little bit of a break but I actually haven't taken a break in a while I feel like when I first started this podcast it was like once a month I was like you guys like I'm having a mental episode I can't record and honestly looking back at that I'm like vibes you got to do what you got to do but recently I've been a little mentally stable like okay Hannah I see you working hard and getting through it that's fantastic um and it was nice to actually take a break that was for betterment rather than for

simply being so low that I need to reach an equilibrium again you know what I mean but with that being said I did take a lot of time to work on this podcast and figure out where I want this to go what I want to do for you guys so I have a lot of exciting exciting things coming for you as well um and I just want to say thank you guys for sticking with me and for sticking with this podcast so many of you guys listen to this a week and I'm so sorry I missed last week I got so many dms like girl am i insane did i just miss the notification no you're not going crazy i'm going crazy we're back again this week but thank you guys for just like being patient with me as i work through this kind of schedule change i know our schedule changed at the beginning of the year

but it's actually going to be changing again oh i know i talk about routine routine routine this is going to be our new set in stone routine a little smoke sesh you know community meeting all right our schedule is gonna be changing a little bit because my personal schedule changed um as you guys know i am a bartender and a server on the side i have a shopping addiction i gotta feel that this i do this but i do this mostly for fun you know i really don't do any brand deals you guys know that i understand how annoying they are um so it's i'm really picky with who i work with but I like to make this a fun casual space I don't make a lot of money from it but I'm trying to put a little bit more work into it so maybe I can so I can deter from my bartending gig I've

always wanted to do this kind of full-time really make this my job my priority and balancing this with a 35 40 hour work regular work week is a lot and I've really been wanting to try and take a few days off and it's something that I finally sat down and talked to my manager about and my manager is so supportive of me she is just the best human being on this planet she wants nothing but the best for every single one of us so when I finally sat down with her and I was like hey I love working here um I also have been working a lot lately just to kind of help out um we've had some people quit we've had you know positions that are hard to fill and girl I can do anything so just you know schedule me I'll figure it out like that's kind of the attitude I have like you scratch my back

i'll scratch yours but uh my usual work week was monday wednesday friday saturday um friday saturday being my longest shifts and the monday wednesday ones were a little rough because i would have to record this in the middle of the week edit in the middle of the week and i was doing two episodes a week at the beginning of the year i was mostly doing two episodes a week just so i could figure out how to record and edit and work my fucking computer because wow am i not tech savvy um but finally I sat down with her and I was like hey I'm just working too much here and I really want to put a lot of time and energy and attention to what I'm passionate about and she heard me and she said yes girl you go for it you take the time off you work hard you get that shit done um so I

am so excited that my schedule is changing I'm still working as a bartender server but mostly just on the weekends and I'm going to dedicate the rest of my time to you guys and to creating things that bring me inspiration and bring me peace as a creative and hopefully inspire you guys as well along the way so with that being said I know I've been doing once again two episodes a week for the past three months it was a really good challenge for myself and it was something that I wanted to challenge myself with especially at the beginning of the year when we were setting new year's intentions um and one of them was really taking the time to focus on this podcast and give you guys quality content so i went to one audio episode a week and one video episode

a week as i learned the basics of video editing how i want this podcast to look how i want to edit it you know the likes um and i feel like i've outgrown these just audio portion of this podcast ever since i started this like three years ago i've always wanted to do video sit down face-to-face sessions with you guys um and it's something i've slowly been growing towards and i'm excited that i finally reached the point that i'm able to do it um so we will still have our usual tuesday episode but instead of doing two short episodes a week like we've been doing for the past month i'm going to do one mega episode on tuesdays like we're used to and it will be video episodes um i'm hoping to go like hour and a half two hours if possible um instead of just doing two

short ones i feel like it'll be a lot easier for me to edit upload and also you guys will know what to look for we're used to our tuesdays you know what i mean we know tuesdays are the day tuesdays are our smoke such days and i love that for us um and i want to stick to that routine i just want to do a little bit longer videos get into some more topics i feel like sometimes when i do just an hour ish i'm cut short for time i also wanted to honor my patreons and honor that community i've created as well so any extra content that i have which i will have extra content every thursday maybe in a vlog maybe in a get ready with me maybe in a extra podcast episode usually it's gonna be my goal every week is to have an extra episode extra little hour sit down chat on the

patreon on thursdays so if you want extra podcast you know hang out sesh that kind of energy that will be on the patreon on thursdays and you can find that at patreon.com slash smoke sesh shoddy i believe um i've just always wanted to honor the patreons and my patrons patreons i don't know why i'm fucking that up i have always wanted to kind of also just keep pushing out content especially if you're fucking paying for it like i want to make sure it's worth your money um so i'm excited to also be able to start doing that and do extra episodes on the patreon for you guys and honor my patrons um while also honoring like i also understand we're we are strapped for cash okay girls like we all don't have fucking money and i respect that and that's why i also want to do

longer episodes on tuesdays see we're still getting um a full sesh with me every single week So, also, that means, I don't know if this is making any sort of sense, but I'm trying to make it as coherent as possible, but that means our questionnaire is going to go up on Sundays instead of Mondays, okay? i posted the questionnaire yesterday i'm actually recording this on monday because i'll have time to edit before tuesday and have it uploaded in the morning you know the drill but my questionnaire is going to go up on sundays so it has a full 24 hours of being up 24 hours of allowing you guys to submit your questions um before i sit down and record on monday mornings i know mondays are usually our questionnaire day i put it up yesterday on sunday and so many of you guys you're like girl what the fuck it's sunday you're early no no no i know it's just because we're

going to switch things up since my recording day will actually be on mondays so i can get this to you guys on tuesdays um so be aware for that if you follow my instagram at hannah marlene um you will see when that goes up i'm also going to be posting a bunch of fun little reels content of the sorts i just posted the cutest little like breakfast burrito recipe for you all like smoke with me breakfast burrito situation I'm gonna be doing cooking videos on my Instagram sharing more of my life with you guys I take so many photos and videos and I realize I just don't share them and I need to put them out there more often I'm also going to be doing like get ready with me's and outfit videos on Instagram as well and my Instagram is at Hannah Marlene if you want to

follow me there submit all your questions you know the vibes but with that being said fun little catch-up for you all I have just been working on living my best life and becoming my dream person I feel like in order to reach the goals that you want to get to and to become the dream person that you want to be it starts with today it starts with now and we're all going to have that regression stage we're all going to have that day where we're sobbing and rolling on the floor or maybe not our best or our hottest and that's okay that doesn't mean all of our work wasn't worth it but it does start with now and it starts with how you view yourself in the present moment and how you honor yourself in the present moment that then leads to that dream life in the

future and I realized I was waiting and waiting and waiting for the right time to finally have this thing happen to finally live my dream life oh it'll come to me if I just wait that's not how it works your dream life will come to you if you start working on it and the faster you start working on it and the more dedication you throw towards yourself the faster it'll come the more intense it'll be and the more beautiful your dream life will be you can make anything happen you can create the dream life that you want for yourself it starts with today okay i love you thank you for sitting here and catching up with me thank you for giving me a week off I really appreciate that shout out to my manager for um allowing me to finally kind of start

stepping back away from work a little bit I don't know if I'll ever stop serving or bartending it's just it's like a little cooking mama simulation you know like that's really how I look at my job because I mean it's fun and I make good money but also it's like the people I deal with are sometimes insane it makes me feel like i'm in a simulation but i will probably continue working there for a while i'm i'm not really trying to give up that job i just wanted to dedicate more time to you guys so sunday prompt goes up okay questionnaire goes up on the instagram monday i'm recording so if you submit any questions on monday i simply won't see them i'm so sorry if you dm me any other day of the week i usually screenshot them and add them to my little like uh

doc for the week and then tuesdays our usual episode a little longer for you guys just to provide you some extra content if you want to hear more from me or see more from me or um indulge in the extra podcast episode that will be up on the patreon for all of you but yeah i'm kind of serving like country slut today these little overalls I just got these in the mail tell me why it's so hard to find fucking overalls that fit why is it so hard I've ordered nine pairs of overalls probably in the past year and these are the first pair that actually fit anyways shout out to the girl who sold me the overalls she typewriter'd a note to me wild illy super fucking cute but yeah i really am serving country slut my big gold hoop earrings

my hair pinned back and these denim overalls but yeah i also know we haven't done this in a while in fact a long long long time i don't know why i haven't done it because it's so fucking fun every single time i do this it just makes me giggle and laugh and have the best time ever but we haven't done a confessionals in forever and i wanted to bring that back to you guys especially after taking a week off last week i was like you know what we are due the spring equinox is coming up um i feel like next week we'll do a spring equinox episode but to prepare sometimes you gotta shed old skin you gotta get rid of your worries you gotta let things go there's no better way to do it than a confessionals episode so welcome to girl church let's get into

some confessionals today I was going for like country slut because that's just the energy I'm really trying to embody this summer like fucking in a cornfield like mini cut off shorts bad tan big hoop earrings you know I love that energy and I feel like we're all kind of feeding off that energy this summer and I love that for us I feel like it's gonna be a fantastic spring summer and I'm really excited for what it brings but yeah sometimes out with the old in with the new especially when you feel like you're being weighed down by stuff sometimes you just gotta let it out and let it go so I'm happy that I can provide a little safe space for you all to do so and hopefully you enjoy but let's dive into these confessionals because I was high as

fuck last night going through these kind of like making a little doc for today and I was dying over these also the fact that I've been in almost all these positions are mines okay there's nothing you've done that I probably haven't done so find peace in that because young Hannah was fucking insane like crazy and I'm sure I have a story time for all of these anyways someone said I used to sit backwards in the toilet and go pee just to get a different pov lmao illy sit backwards i would just be so afraid of like my legs touching the toilet seat that much i remember one time me and my friends okay in high school we just had way too much time on our hands tell me why i was taking five periods of art my senior year i had two classes one of them being in like a art aid

teacher aid what do you call them teacher aid in an art room that was like one of my real classes and then also i was in like ap gov or something so we had way too much time on our hands and one time me and the girls went to the bathroom we're like do you think you know how like men can like cross streams do you think like we can like pee in between each other's legs it doesn't work I did learn though that if you I don't like using the word flaps I feel like that's just bad lips that's a better word if you move the lips you can like move the stream it'll go different directions TMI that's what confessionals are for anyways was hooking up with a co-worker for a while big mistake I've never hooked up with a co-worker because thankfully I am

I'm not gonna say smart but smart enough in that situation to not do so I think I was just around at such a young age so many older co-workers that were hooking up with each other and I saw the drama all unfold around me and I was like I don't ever need to take part in that at all I actually had two co-workers hook up in my bed at my house while I was not there I was throwing a party and then I like dipped to go hook up with my now boyfriend like completely dipped like drove 30 minutes to go meet him left them at my house for eight hours and they did hook up in my bedroom anyways that relationship spiraled was a mess they both don't talk to each other at all for you know what rightfully so do not date your co-worker if you like just don't get in between

you and your money you know what I mean never ever ever get between you and your money and you sleeping with your co-worker that's getting in between you and your money someone said i'm still seeing my ex after a year we broke up you know what it's okay i'm not here to judge confessionals once again not here to judge it happens it happens have i ever been there no because when someone is dead to me they're dead to me i literally stopped pretending they exist i was talking to my boyfriend about this yesterday um but he's like in the service industry people can get really just disrespectful very quickly and he's more of a confrontational person where he'll like argue back and i'm like no that's not the way to go about it when someone disrespects you uh i immediately go

like this time go i'm not doing this and i walk my ass away and i stop pretending they exist i don't care if you come back up to me keep confronting me my eyes will not even look at you i will not acknowledge that you're a real person you know that black mirror episode where like people can get blocked in real life and completely disappear that's basically what i just did to you like i do you do not exist to me okay that's the best thing to do when you have a confrontation or when you break up with your ex yeah yeah i said it they're an ex for a reason okay i don't know if you got broken up with or you did the breaking up with but i feel like an ex is just a easy choice you know there's no need to keep going back to the past unless you want to

keep living in the past but who wants to keep living in the past let's move forward there's so many rich hot men out there go after them going on a three year long oh no situationship with my ex he's leaving the 30th i'm stupid i know i think the issue with this is you think you're stupid you're not stupid you're smart start pretending you are actually smart you're not dumb because when you think you're stupid you're more willing to do stupid things constantly we don't need to be doing that okay girl you're smart you're brave you're strong and you're strong enough to leave this man oh i hate admitting this but i ate out my girlfriend and it was kind of nasty okay but like we've all been there we're like sucking dick and we're like

it's been 12 hours since he showered i think i just clipped this leaf into my hair um yeah but i don't even know what to say to that one anyways we'll keep going someone said dating a divorced man who is 21 we'll keep going blacked out got home 3 a.m i don't know if i can use this word on youtube in front of my roommate she hates me yeah you're gonna need to take some time apart that's okay that's okay sometimes you you fuck up and you can't look at each other the right way ever again it happens you do need to apologize i do think an apology goes a long way maybe like get a cake like a sheet cake and write on the sheet cake i'm so sorry i dj'd my kitty cat in front of you

please forgive me who knows could work next girl i threw up on a guy's dick one time but kept it in my mouth and swallowed it back up swallowed it back up okay we've all been there i think i think whether it's a lot or a little i think we've all been there sometimes you just get too cocky you get too cocky you're like no i can take this nine inch banana completely down my throat and it's like girl what are we thinking you just ate a full big mac there's no way that's happening sometimes you just gotta persevere and push through the best thing when you ever have any sort of sexual relations and something weird happens or like you know whoopsies any sort of that happens the best thing you can do is just laugh it off be like lol if you need to take a

break and like i we can't fuck anymore like that was crazy i need to go home vibes but the best thing you can do is laugh it off and if your partner cannot laugh off a silly situation with you are they really smart or intelligent enough to be sleeping with you like bodies are weird weird things are gonna happen your body's gonna make a weird noise um you might throw up on a man's peepee but the best thing you could do is just have a little giggle and keep it moving you know oh sent situationship anon anon std text because i found girls nudes on his phone when he was asleep if it's a situationship i think valid like fuck it let's scare him a little bit let's have some fun let's get a little toxic i listen i'm never gonna tell you to be toxic but

sometimes it's like well we're just we're just having a good time like we're just being silly here you know i'm gonna be a little crazy i'm gonna send that anon anonym anonymous oh my god std text because why not i was seeing two guys at once both so good i couldn't choose i love a girl boss i love a girl boss because guess what men be doing that constantly constantly they're like well you know i like the flavor of this one but sometimes i want to taste something else so i'm gonna keep two of them around because i can't choose what flavor i like better they do that constantly so why can't girls why can't we valid i've had lots of chronic pain and the docs have been no help smoking actually helps so I'm constantly stoned so I'm not tweaking from

the amount of pain I'm in valid valid recently I have realized maybe we need to cut back on the smoking this is the realization I had last week when I was kind of taking in my life and taking in how I want it to be listen I love my weed I love my smoking I think it is a very beneficial medicine that we can use consistently throughout our lives but i do think viewing it the same way you view drinking as a normal working human being is a healthy way to view it if you're in chronic pain that's the only thing that fucking helps you girl do what you gotta do valid okay if you need to be stoned out of your mind constantly to avoid that pain at least it's not painkillers so valid but if you're a regular shmegular average human being just going through life i think it's

important to kind of look at weed as you do drinking like listen it's okay to do a little sunday afternoon mimosa sesh with your girls like that's fine the same way it's okay to do like every once in a while i'm gonna start smoking at like 11 in the afternoon because it's my day off and i'm hanging out my girlies you know whatever i think that's valid but every single day waking up and smoking and I'll speak for me because I don't want to shame anybody else but I've realized it just puts me in such a deep dissociative state that which obviously you know like that's the whole point that's why it's so fun that's why it's so nice is because you can kind of escape a little bit but you can't constantly be escaping your life especially if you're trying to get work done

it doesn't work first time I realized this was in college when I was smoking constantly all day every day I remember one time I failed a test so bad I had a pipe in my backpack and like a nug and me and my bestie I was like I have never left things empty on a test before like questions I have never left them empty because I simply don't know this time around my ass was leaving shit empty I was in a low place I was like okay girl we're going to the back alley behind the psychology building we're smoking this bowl at 10 a.m sometimes we're down bad I get it but every single day you're not gonna be able to do shit you're not gonna be able to function that year of college when I was trying to function and turn shit in on time and be a working human being and

remember shit for tests and smoke constantly it doesn't work I failed out okay I mean I got my scholarship back but the only way I kept those grades and kept them up was because I was utilizing weed as a form of indulgence the same way I would um alcohol and I feel like I really need to get back on that schedule I've been kind of just like chilling doing my thing and smoking a little too often too consistently I would say usually and I'm being real here but usually I would start smoking at like one or two whenever i start eating lunch um just to spike my appetite and then i would smoke probably like five bowls not at once but just like consecutively throughout the day until dinner and then i would start taking dabs maybe take one dab and then eat an edible

girl that's like getting a case of beer and then getting a handle of vodka and getting and taking two fireball shots not healthy not something we can consistently do it's okay every once in a while but I think a new goal of mine especially this spring is to kind of step back a little bit and remember that it is still a substance but listen if you're in chronic pain it's what you got to do girl if I was in your position I would also be off and edible constantly sometimes I go on my boyfriend's macbook and look at his texts pro tip i have been here i've been here where it's like i knew he was texting other girls because i would see random phone numbers pop up and it'd be like hey smiley face do you have the readings for this

week we should study together and i would be like who's that and he'd be like oh that's my bro and i'm like that bitch just sent you a winky face i know it's not your bro there's a heart hand emoji in there that's not your fucking bro but they had like a passcode on their phone and then they would constantly like deterred deterred no you can't look at my phone no that's not allowed my boyfriend now he doesn't have a passcode on his phone and I feel like I've never really looked through his phone because that in general it's like comforting because if I if I wanted to I could also if I asked him hey can I go through your phone he would let me there's no passcode find you a man no passcode that's what we all need in this life oh I used to date two best friends at the same

time they never found out how did they never find out how that's amazing me and my boyfriend had sex in a family restroom at a universal water park on my birthday lol okay not to promote but i do kind of love like a spontaneous moment i do i remember me and my boyfriend were in malibu celebrating my like 23rd birthday and we had the whole beach to ourselves and i was like babe just come hit it real quick sometimes you gotta take the opportunity okay i think i'm a klepto when i'm drunk i stole a half ounce from a house party oh that's the best part about being drunk one time i came home from a bottomless margaritas with the pitcher and two glasses and the pitcher was half full sometimes it's the best thing ever my friend's mission in college

was literally to steal as many crazy things as she could i think she stole like a frat dog once of course returned it but like took it for like 12 hours she also stole um i don't know what you call it it's sort of the c but the big like picture they do together with like all the frat members aren't on it she stole it not out of the house because they didn't keep them in the house they kept them in the like uh rec center not really rec center it was kind of like the study area for our college where like the starbucks was and stuff she stole that out of there and had it for like months i love a klepto drunk moment okay especially when it's you're stealing from somebody who deserves it like frat boys vibes speaking of cutting back on smoking

let's light up such a bad influence honestly speaking also speaking of being a klepto i should be banned from sephora not for like my current day actions but from the behavior i inhibited at like 14 i don't know what it is about being a suburban white girl who had obviously did no drugs at that age and needed a rush or a thrill but sephora was like i was like a moth to a flame at sephora be like what do you want girls let's go let's get shit and not a pro tip just an experience i had i think the only reason i got away with it every single time was because i purchase something so listen always something small like a beauty blender maybe a eyeliner like 10-15 dollars that's literally all I had but then there was like 400 worth of stuff in my

pocket now let me deter you from doing this okay especially from stores because one time in college hold on let me light this story time one time in college listen college you're broke obviously don't have any money I don't have any time to work a job if I did have time to work a job it was like on campus where they pay you like seven dollars an hour nothing okay so we would do our little target runs us broke girls do our little target runs run through target get our stuff go home for the price of free 99 one time I went there klepto klepto young Hannah and I was grabbing underwear ripping tags off stuffing them in my pockets walking around walking around I saw this guy walk past us and he like eyed me

and then kept walking I was like okay fucking weirdo old man keep doing my thing keep doing my thing we're walking on the store we're on the other side of the store now he walks past me again eyes me keeps moving and I'm like okay I'm not stupid now I'm getting a little nervous either this man has a van outside he's gonna kidnap me and my friends or he knew that I have about 40 pairs of underwear in my pockets right now anyways my dumb ass doesn't take the fucking hint me and all my friends walk up to the self-checkout he follows us stands in line behind us and as soon as my ass walks up to the self-checkout he walks up to me and he goes so are you gonna pay for all the underwear you have in your pocket right

now legendary is here with bet mgm sportsbook sign up to unlock access to hundreds of pre-match and live betting options for all your favorite sports download the bet mgm app see bet mgm.com for terms 18 plus alberta only please play responsibly subject to eligibility requirements if gambling is affecting your mental health or well-being 211 alberta is here to help call or text 211 or visit ab.211.ca fedmgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with the alberta i-gaming corporation standard message and data rates may apply yeah about that i was like sometimes when i get in trouble my brain just like immediately comes up with a solution and i don't know how there's only been like two times where i've been

in this situation but this is one of them when i was confronted by a secret shopper which are very real and they're everywhere do not steal from target they will send you to jail i didn't go but they will um i was like okay can i think think think what the fuck do we do and i was like well they're on sale aren't they like it's five five for 25 and i only have four can i go get an extra pair um so i get the discount and i think he was kind of like thrown off by me actually having an answer that kind of sort of made sense that he was like yeah sure so my ass ran over to the underwear took out all the underwear without the tags on them threw them down grabbed five random pairs half of them didn't even fit me because I was like I

gotta move fast went to the checkout bought all five pairs walked my ass out of there I have never stolen since I think I was like 18 when that happened never again never again I can't I'm terrified but I think we all need that moment every once in a while where it's like I'm doing a bad thing but I need someone to step in and scare me a little bit so I stopped doing it I needed that to happen because I was a deranged bitch and I would have just kept doing it um and thank god I didn't get in trouble but take this as a learning lesson just it's not worth it it's not you don't want to get charged for stealing from a storm I promise you anyways someone said i had a huge crush on one of my teachers i never told anyone but it was hard

to even sit in class oh girl i feel you i feel you in high school i had this hot ass fucking teacher don't remember his name obviously wasn't that important i was just young and fucking any hot man in front of me i was like okay i'm throbbing anyways specifically why i was like okay this is fucking hot not only was he hot he's probably like 25 young definitely under 30s so i was like i have a chance girl you're 16 chill out that's scary especially if he'd be interested in you that's extra scary but it was a forensics class like criminal forensics like he would set up crime scenes for us every week and we would have to go investigate and this man looked exactly like dr spencer reed from criminal minds exactly like him

so you know i was just like infatuated infatuated oh i'm just living in delusion at that point but fun to have like a little crush you know especially a crush on someone that you just like can't have it's like oh but i want it no girl you don't you're 16 you're just horny chill someone said my ex told me they have a nick addiction now because of me feeling like a horrible person is it really because of you or is it because they have no self-control all my friends smoke nicotine do i no it's that simple don't take it too personally he's trying to blame his problems on you but like did you force a vape into his hand and down his throat no anyways someone said my boyfriend flew me to mexico and broke up with me mid-trip at least you're in mexico i've been

broken up with day after grandma's funeral literally around family wearing black so i would rather be in mexico where i can run off to a club and dance the night away and get drunk especially on someone else's dime preferably in ex-boyfriends someone said oh i'm low-key gay girl me too welcome to the club welcome to the club it is a spectrum we are not all a hundred percent i would say i'm like um not even 50 50 i feel like i'm kind of like a 60 40 60 leaning towards women 40 leaning towards men period someone said tried tried the back door and he pulled out to shit all over him lol he just rinsed it off with water now that is a keeper that is a keeper okay because listen if you are going back there in any sort of way you understand you are taking on a risk okay

taking on a risk it is unusual for it to be clean as a whistle because listen it's an exit it's supposed to be an exit there's going to be you know it's a bodily organ of course it's going to do organ things don't expect it to be a fucking fleshlight you know what i mean let's be real a real man will understand that enjoy participate not make you feel bad simple as that no comment cleaned it up i knew my boyfriend was a keeper when he did the exact same thing we used to do a lot of this back in the day when i was a little bit more unhinged mentally and very very sexually active in every form of the sense um one time we were doing it you know back door in front of the mirror love it standing up don't recommend and he pulled out and

you know a little not a not like a this is so tmi but also confessionals hello like a you know little something fell out not like not like a turd but like he you know does this thing and a little bit fell out onto the floor it was a slight brown color you know what he did i looked at him i turned around looked to the ground looked at him dead silent he immediately grabs toilet paper wipes it up throws in the trash can starts to shower no comment here babe let me help you to the shower now that's a real man that's a real man i have a crush on my co-worker because i think he wait but i think it's because he looks just like my boyfriend yikes that's just your brain confusing you and i don't think you need to think anything past that just just you know the crush doesn't

exist you're just really in love with your boyfriend you know what i mean someone said you gave me the push to break up with my fiance early last year and i've never been happier love it love to see a hot girl thriving honestly someone said okay so i love peeing outside with my friends when drunk it's so fun i feel like you're either the drunk peer or you're not there's no in between my friend she loves drunk peeing i'm talking we would be in a target parking lot about to walk in and she's drunk and she's like i'm just gonna squat in the parking lot in front of these this fucking girl with a stroller and just pee she don't give a fuck she loves peeing outside oh maybe there's something like you know instinctual about it i personally did

not inherit that trait but i understand foley someone said i went out to the club on friday and fucked some random it guy in the bathroom you know what vibe love anyway someone said foley stole this man's weed after i failed at bleaching his hair on the first date not the double homicide now he's got a bad bleach job and he can't smoke his feelings away anyways i find myself missing high school i hate to say that i peaked but that's how it's feeling they could just miss being young and that's very real i miss high school in the sense of i miss the freedom of course it feels like you don't have any freedom because you're like i can't go anywhere i have to get my parents permission but bitch you don't pay rent and that's true freedom okay so i do feel

like I miss high school in that sort of sense but I'm glad I outgrew it and I think I'm such a cool person and I also think you can still experience those high school-esque moments by a having a really good routine be having good friends around you and see taking advantage of being an adult you know all the things you wanted to do in high school that you can't do now do them you know all those dreams that you had accomplish them oh god not another one of these dj'd the kitty cat in bed while my best friend was asleep next to me because i had a fat crush on her i just found out the other day that my boyfriend does this sometimes like i don't i don't really care if people watch porn in relationships i just don't want to know about it okay i don't want to know about it also

i think it's not that weird you know like a very casual form uh if it's constant and it's an actual issue that's a little weird and then if you have like a weird obsession with a specific girl that is like a no-go for me like why are you obsessed with this only fans girl that's throwing me off because i'm your full girlfriend that's weird to me never experienced that but i don't think I ever willingly would because scary anyways I found out as sometimes like sometimes my ass is just dead asleep when he comes to bed and he'll be like yeah no I'll just I'll just jerk it next to you like oh that's kind of sweet you know like oh you're like sitting next to me thinking about me kind of cute you know love it someone said I slept with a Californian lawyer

to fund my travels around southeast asia he was hot that sounds like a win win win win to me i'm having trouble liking my boyfriend's best friend they spent a lot of time together so can't avoid him i had to realize at a young age that the people that other people surround themselves with are a direct like you know result of how they feel about themselves like sure some my friends are crazy and unhinged and a little wild and chaotic but also like that's because that's a part of myself and I love that sure we all make mistakes or whatever but I've had exes in the past who had like friends that I was like I don't even want to think or speak or talk to them why are you friends with each other and it's because they like each other and they relate

to each other so if you don't like the best friend you probably don't like the boyfriend either I just want to put that out there because I had a I had a boyfriend who he would constantly hang out with his friend who was a cheater who constantly talked about cheating who constantly wanted to cheat who constantly had different girls over complete womanizer whatever and my boyfriend was like well i'm not like not my current boyfriend my ex was like i'm not like that i just you know people i just he's just a friend and it's like no bitch you're doing the exact same thing to me let's see it for what it is someone said i was a furry in middle school love that i i would love to have a furry kid you know like vibes i love a weird kid i love a kid that's not afraid to be

themselves also i've talked about before how that furry saved my life that one time so i will always stand up for the furries i will always stand up and salute to the furries someone said i've been fucking my abusive ex's uncle he's closer to my age and besties with my ex uncle you're going for the whole family oh but my confessional is that i love to sniff my boyfriend's armpits he just smells so damn good real there's something about like the ovulation phase in my cycle that i'm just like feral feral i'm sorry for what i said to you when i was ovulating i did mean it but doesn't mean that it wasn't crazy and unhinged let's be real also the danger i put myself in when i'm ovulating is out of this world what's that meme where it's like places ovulation my ovulation

phase takes me i wouldn't even go with a gun you know anyways i was speaking of someone said girl it never lets me call in it says arrow error 404 if you want to submit a call in and it's not working i really really really recommend just send me a little like voice recording on instagram but after you send the voice recording on instagram tell me what it's about a little bit like you don't necessarily submit the full question just be like tldr like short you know write out what it's about and then you can submit just like a voice note on my instagram dms and that works as call-ins as well um because i think the call-in feature that i use which is usually through spotify is gonna stop working soon um they're changing how they work things with their

app so we're gonna move to all collins submit as a voice note on instagram but give me a little description of what it's about you don't necessarily have to say word for word full story you can do that in the voice note but at least give me a little you know heads up of what's going on because sometimes i'm afraid to open voice notes because i'm like i don't know what's in here so let me know you know tell me a little bit about it okay let's do a few collins now and then i'll get to some questions we'll do like a little rapid fire question round and then i think that'll be it for the podcast i know i miss you guys so i'm gonna do a little extra long one and fill you guys in on everything i've been up to but let's get into some of these call-ins my super secret evil

confessional is that my current boyfriends we broke up for a period of time because he did me really dirty um not too dirty we got back together but during the breakup whenever i finally like was done with this shit and left before you got it together i stole his weed his mushrooms a couple of his t-shirts and just you know some little trinkets i guess i was foraging um and then when we got back together he kept talking about not being able to find all those things and so the weed was in this really nice container and he always talks about missing the container and like because we're back together should i confess should i return or is that his karmic debt for hurting my feelings i guess we'll never know anyways love you queen bye

love you okay first of all he knows i hate to ruin the surprise he knows that's why he keeps bringing it up he knows you took that shit that's why he's like oh i just i really miss it you know he's trying to play a mind game with you but I think you need to play back little toxic advice I think you need to play the mind game back and I think you need to the container you said it was really nice container that he's been oh I miss it I miss it you need to bring it back over don't give it to him just casually place it back into his house like maybe somewhere that he would have to stumble upon it and then just pretend like oh yeah no like I thought it's been years the whole time what are you talking about like I didn't know I was missing or like oh wow that's crazy

it's been here the whole time that's wild you've really been missing that oh my god I guess you just didn't look in the right place sometimes it's fun to have a little secret to yourself so I say keep it to yourself and then just like mess with his brain a little bit toxic advice but definitely fun hi Hannah I love the podcast honestly it's been such a help for like mindset and just moving your life forward so thank you for that and my confessional is oh my gosh today I have been waiting around for a guy to set up a date with me and he's literally not showing interest for about four months I've been like left undelivered a few times so I am starting to feel embarrassed by this I think today's the day I let it go

yeah listeners feel free to laugh at me for this one no laughing we're here with you we've been there this is the game plan whenever you're like oh i've just been devoting so much time and energy this person they're not giving it back this is what you need to do a the hardest step you need to block them on everything i know i know because you're like what if they text me what if they text me girl the way they're texting you is not in a good or important way you just gotta we gotta block we gotta move on and you need to go out immediately immediately you need to go out go dance with your friends go to the local pub love sorry i don't know i don't know if that's the right vibe go out get drunk have fun go flirt with some other men so you know like there's other fish

in the sea i feel like when you become way too attached to one man especially a man that doesn't deserve your attachment in the first place fucking asshole um you need to go out and experience the world and realize there are other people out there there are other fish in the sea and honestly fuck him he doesn't deserve an ounce of your time but no laughing at you we've all been there don't worry girl you're not alone we've all made this mistake before you just gotta level up hi hannah love you love the pod this is like my fourth time recording it because spotify hates me anyways so me and my ex-boyfriend broke up about a month ago and i kind of got over it really fast because i was you know tired of the relationship and i was like i'm really not happy um and i

finally broke up with him but anyways and i'm just now finding out about all these like bad things he did in the relationship like he cheated on me he was flirting with other girls all this stuff and i'm like i'm like over him but i'm not over him and like the things he did like i'm okay like i'm over him in the relationship but i just like i don't have feelings for him but i can't like wrap my head around all these things i did while we were dating and i don't know deal with that please help okay vibes i've been here where it's like what the fuck why did i not know this was going on and also what did what the fuck did i do to deserve this a you didn't do anything to deserve this he's a psycho fucking freak who is gonna do that to anybody that he comes across

because he's evil okay so don't take it personally keep that anger okay valid very angry i would be pissed you're allowed to hold on to that or release it if you would like to do so go to a rage room break some things uh scream in his face if you see him the next time just kidding um but i think having that anger is very valid nothing you did was deserving of this on obviously nothing you also did could have changed this he's just a piece of shit and that's something you're coming to terms with so remember that remember that he was a piece of shit and also i say keep your heart light you know obviously not your fault so don't take it too personally let that rage out and yeah if you see him i think you are uh entitled to a nice scream for sure for sure for sure hi um

confession and question i guess but i'm like an absolute attention whore and i keep seeking attention like against my true self and my true nature um just for like little attention fixes and especially in situations that like i know are bad for me and like it's just getting me in in bad states i'm not really sure how to fix that or i guess limit doing that or maybe if that's just like part of who i am but yeah thank you i love you okay i love you um first of all ariana grande is that you your voice is so freaking cute um but attention seeking attention seeking i've been in so many places once again my ovulation phase has taken me to places that i wouldn't even go without a gun sometimes the attention seeking gets too crazy where you're like how

the fuck did i get myself here and i think it comes from i know when i was in these phases of my life it stemmed from a like lack of not self-love but simply like self-awareness like not taking myself seriously not really focusing on myself not looking inward and rather constantly and consistently looking outwards um he i would dare you to look inwards more to focus on yourself more to get more selfish to say no to really stop and rethink and ask yourself what you want because the attention seeking behavior that you're doing is very directed and I don't want you to get rid of that energy because I feel like that directed energy is very powerful we just need to redirect it into something that is actually helpful and gonna get you somewhere that you want

to go um and so instead of putting it into a place where it's like i'm gonna be attention seeking and i'm gonna kind of put myself into danger and do things for outward validation direct it more so so you're doing things for inward validation do i think i'm cool would i want to do that like fuck it i'm gonna take a risk but it's something i want to do rather than i'm gonna take a risk because this person is telling me to do so look inwards rather than outwards but i do want you to keep that energy i don't want you to completely stifle it because that energy is so raw and real i just need you to redirect it into a place that's actually um valuable to you and uplifts you through this time so love you hey mizana um i'm like really high so

sorry i don't know i'm apologizing but anyway um i literally forgot what i was gonna say i like literally forgot okay i remembered um i just smoked a bowl with a lot of keef in it but anyway i just had to say to all my girls all my gays and everyone else um trust your fucking intuition because i started trusting my intuition and like trusting my gut and everything and magical fucking things have been happening to me like travel opportunities are falling into my lap i have like the opportunity to go to peru in october i am going to fucking california in june um i'm going to a music festival in may i literally speaking of keith i bought a quarter ounce of shake at the dispo and it's full of like little balls of keith amazing i had a really cute

girl ask for my number in walmart yesterday after we like had a really cute conversation oh my god yeah trust trust your gut real okay i feel like this is kind of on brand with the whole trust your gut the intuition or the universe will feed into that energy um but the universe doesn't understand no i need you guys to learn this the universe doesn't understand i don't want this okay the universe only understands yes okay so whatever you are thinking about whatever you are manifesting whatever you are worrying over the universe is taking that as a yes so remember that okay i feel like this is the key thing to trusting your gut is the universe will always feed into you feed into you feed into you but it will never feed away from you it is always

moving in flow with you so if you are constantly into an in a negative state if you're constantly thinking negative about other people if you're constantly worrying about something if you are constantly talking bad about something the universe is going to take that as a yes and keep feeding that energy towards you okay so if you find yourself in that place that's okay but we need to learn to redirect sometimes and to change that flow of thought because sometimes I'll be like caught in a negative thought loop and I'll be like stop the universe is hearing this and it's about to feed this directly to me I need to change the way I think about this instead of being worried worried worried maybe it's I'm being hopeful hopeful hopeful instead I'm hoping for a good

thing to happen i am putting out positive energy so it's redirected back towards me the universe only understands yes okay it's only going to understand i want this thing so if you're constantly talking negative thinking negative worrying about a certain issue it's going to take that as yes i want this yes bring this to me instead of push it away from me so remember that okay what are your week or what are your afternoon activities for today what are your hot girl activities for today me personally i think i'm going to go um oh i'm watching my parents dog right now again literally they are out living their best life constantly traveling and i'm here watching their fucking dog like girl this is why i don't have a

dog so i can go do my own thing but she's so cute and it's kind of nice to get out and walk and be outside and she loves being outside so I've really been challenging myself to like go to the park take her on more walks um during the day and kind of just be outside a little bit but I've been thinking about kids recently and I love children they're so freaking cute but I am realizing how much I was holding my parents back because now they are out and about and traveling and visiting and living their best life in winery and winery and they're going to Greece now they're in oregon and then they're in california and i'm like wow was i really holding you back that much my my full 18 years living under your roof

all it took was me moving out for you guys to finally be like we're gonna go crazy we're gonna live our best life and that whole part of life is like do i even want kids like i could just travel on my best life and save my money by not having kids good thing i got eight more years with this iud before i even have to think about that shout out to her she be putting in work love you girl oh my god we need to do a nail shot i totally forgot let's do a little let me show you guys my nails i just got hold on aren't they fucking adorable i have never gotten like this many charms this many jewels she hand painted the little sailor moon on there she put little kitty cat stickers on there

she killed it you are so talented megan i love you thank you for doing my dream nails for me but i am now like a nail charm slut i will be getting so many charms from now on i've usually kept it pretty simple with my nails like kind of same thing on every nail a couple charms here and there but she's got like these dangly charms in and i really charmed myself out and i will be getting crazier and crazier from here on now we'll get into a little speed round of questions what was on your mind this week um someone said how do i stop looking back on my mistakes with shame and instead look at it with appreciation speak of confessionals listen we're all human we're all gonna fuck up at some point you're gonna have a harder time in this life if you constantly put

shame shame shame on yourself instead of learning growing doing better the best thing in life is we have an opportunity we have a new day we have a new morning to do better to be better to kind of take accountability for our actions and make sure they never happen again if it's something that you kind of regret um or to make a new decision to apologize to say i'm sorry to do better we always have a new opportunity to do better but if you constantly live in the past and live in shame you're more bound to do that thing over again than you are to grow from it um i think shame is such a demeaning emotion and it's okay to feel bad for something you did and that's a valid feeling and it's okay to sit with that for a little bit but it's all about what you do with it if you're just

sitting with it and sitting with it and feeling bad about yourself and sitting with it you're sitting in the ego you're feeling bad about yourself oh no i'm the victim because i did something bad and i feel bad no girl take yourself out of it like sure we fucked up but we're human we're gonna fuck up eventually you might as well just apologize move on and do better every single day that's really all you can do with it my hair's a little crazy today but I've recently realized oh my god my hair has grown like six inches in the past six months months you're like Hannah that's not a lot listen my hair was not growing at all and I realized it's because I've been doing this hairstyle i used to be a big pigtail or braid girly um and i realized the hard elastics i was

using was ripping my hair out snapping it breaking it um and so this claw clip just claw clip up out of your face the best way to help your hair grow and that's like kind of the best simple protective hairstyle ever someone said how do you lose your virginity i love you i love you too girl do i know anybody with a good losing their virginity story no no because sex is weird and it's messy and when you don't know what you're doing it's like you know so if you're young and you've not lost your virginity yet i say there's no rush you know there really is no rush and it's not gonna be like rose petals on the bed also do you want it to be no it's just it's gonna be a little weird and awkward at first mine was specifically weird and awkward because I was

with a man who my friend is such a blabbermouth and she'll say anything she was dating his best friend and then she told him she was like oh yeah Hannah's a virgin and so he was like we were hanging out alone he brought it up he's like so I heard you're a virgin I was like oh this is awkward why would you say that to me now I'm uncomfortable but it was him being like like let's do this you know let's let's have some fun but also there were some specific choices that I do regret making such as he said get on top so I lost my virginity on top if a man if you're about lose your virginity and a man says no get on top of me run run you're allowed to say no you're allowed to say no thank you because when i did that i was like oh my god worst decision ever

i wasn't really regretful because i did want to lose it and um i did want to lose it to him so it wasn't like a bad bad situation but it was definitely like a girl i just didn't know you know like not a lot of my friends had had sex before um so it was just like uh we're going in blind girls and we're doing our best but get on top death death penalty and not to me to him anyways I lost it really late and I think that's the the aspect that I really like to hone in on i lost it like 18 19 um no 17 18 like summer after senior year um i lost it and i feel like i could have waited longer honestly i feel like you should wait till college i feel like i went to a catholic school so a lot of the people that i went to school with had never lost their

virginity because they had been in catholic school and like they had to pray to god every single day i was in public school so like people are stuck in fucking in the theater in the bathrooms everywhere in the stairway but i was on so many antidepressants that i just my pussy didn't get wet and my brain wasn't functioning correctly so i was not even focused but don't be afraid to wait like don't be afraid to have that perfect moment to wait for that perfect person i think that's totally valid um and i think the longer you wait the better there's no reason that you need to lose it really really young um there's no reason you need to lose it to fucking your high school crush like just live life enjoy life keep de-centering men as much as you possibly can um

but virginity is a construct and i feel like there's so much pressure when you're young to lose it you need to this is like a big weight it's like a name tag placed on you that says fucking i'm a virgin no one knows no one cares live your life try to have good sex as much as possible that's the best pro tip i can give anybody try to have as much as good sex as possible especially when you're young and especially when you're about to lose your virginity like if you don't think he's gonna dick you down good it ain't worth it that's for sure tips for not being insecure in a relationship a you need to have a partner who doesn't make you insecure i feel like a lot of the times in my past relationships I was super super insecure but it was because I had a

partner who was making me insecure such as following a bunch of girls online and liking their ass pics um following a bunch of only fans girls following a bunch of porn stars constantly watching porn all the time um constantly talking about women being a womanizer um constantly prioritizing like other women outside of me in that sort of sense in a relationship aspect um hanging out with women one-on-one not telling me about it like they were giving me reasons to be insecure and like of course i'm gonna feel that way about it because i'm a human being and i'm a freaking freak if i don't feel bad about that because you've just fucked me over in that sort of way um so make sure you have a partner that doesn't make you feel insecure step number

one step number two if you're just a crazy bitch like me and you're gonna feel insecure at some point even though your partner is perfect and amazing and you know doesn't do anything bad sometimes it just stems from within and stems from a lack of self when i am having a really insecure day i just i need to stop looking outwards and comparing and comparing and i need to start looking inwards i need to start thinking of a dream version of myself and taking that step into that dream version of myself doing a little self-care moment doing some affirmations um complimenting myself putting on a hot outfit getting a little narcissistic taking selfies of myself smoking good little joint putting on some music and just like feeling myself especially

when I'm feeling insecure I know it's from a place of lack it's not from a place of lack where other women are taking that out of me obviously that's not how it is it's a it's a feeling of lack that I need to fill within myself it's a feeling of lack that I've created and the only person who can feel that is not my partner it's not other women it's me I need to feel that so I have to take a moment to really just self-care and motivate myself and uplift myself you know what I mean that's really the best way I can combat insecurities and relationships and also a having a good partner talking about it with your partner feeling insecure about this I know it's not based in reality but can you help me work through it a good partner will help you work

through it someone said what do i do if i find out my best friend is talking shit about me i remember me and my friend got into like a fist fight on the street in middle school because i found out she was talking shit on me sometimes you know fights between friends make things stronger and it's okay to have a little bit of like a we need to talk it out we need to fight it out real quick moment that's real that's gonna happen in any sort of relationship not physical sometimes physical uh but yeah we just like fist fought and that got out of our systems and then we just moved on with our life but it made us stronger you need to bring it up but it'll go one of two ways it'll either make you guys stronger make the relationship stronger or you guys are gonna

completely fizzle out and not want to be friends with each other both are valid but give an opportunity for both and speak up be like bitch what the fuck did you just say about me why are you stabbing me behind my back what are you doing oh my god someone said do you play roblox if so if can we host game nights through roblox for the pod girlies okay i've thought about becoming a streamer i don't play any video games but it's like i could play roblox or sims let me know if that's something you want because i just love creating content i love talking to you guys so like i would not mind how to conjure up even a lick of motivation to stay in school and finish school i regret not finishing school let me tell you from my own pov why to stay in school because

i regret dropping out i dropped out twice i regret i don't regret the first one because obviously i went back to school but i regret the second one because i haven't gone back to school yet and i feel like my life would be so much easier if i just stayed and got the degree it's hard but you're gonna face a lot of hard things in your life and getting that degree is going to be one of the easiest hard things that you do does that make sense like once you get into the corporate world or you start creating a job for yourself or a life for yourself that's going to be way harder than any sort of like you know difficulty within getting your degree is going to be degrees are hard i get that but also it's not going to be the hardest thing you do stay in

school get that fucking degree get out go live your dream life you've got this ask for help if you need it welcome to the patreon episode i'm excited to start doing this kind of provide some extra content for you guys but i want to get into kind of just like a fire round episode um really just kind of get through all of these questions you guys sent me because there was a lot from last week that i just simply did not get to um someone said my boyfriend of 1.5 years keeps bringing up marriage and kids bitch i'm 21 and a free spirit what do i do i think it's a good thing to talk about just to make sure you're on the same page obviously um maybe you guys aren't on the same page right now especially if he wants kids right now and you don't but i think it's a

good thing to talk about like do i want kids in the future do we even want to get married in the future are we envisioning the same life path do we have the same plan because if you do then it'll work out but if you don't then there might be some conflicting ideas but if you want kids if he wants kids now and you don't want kids at all that's a serious thing you need to think about and ask yourself like is this the relationship for me you know like especially if he wants me to get pregnant scary and talk it out you know first of all you're the woman you have the major decision to play in this if you don't want to get pregnant and you shouldn't if you don't have babies and don't feel pressure to if you don't want to get married please do not but it's a good thing to

talk about so at least he's bringing it up but also state how you feel say no if you don't someone said just got out of the psych ward and I'm having a hard time getting over it because I miss it real getting out of the psych ward is the worst because you're like okay I have to go back to reality now that's not fun I don't want to go back to reality the psych ward's definitely not fun but then you're like oh god now I got to get back into the real world and figure out how to adjust to it you'll figure it out you'll get through it I don't know who told all my teachers when I went back to school that I went to the psych ward but they all just knew and they didn't assigned me homework for the rest of the year and i really appreciated that because obviously there

were bigger things on my fucking brain than i needed to handle um but be honest with your teachers talk to them if you have teachers um tell them what you're going through friends family all that sort of stuff so then you have good support around you someone said how do i tell my boyfriend and I need him to last longer in bed, look him in the eyes and go, that's it, look him in the eyes and go, so what next, or look him in the eyes and go, I'm not done yet, I need you to eat me out, just sit on his face, I don't know, have fun, you know, I think it's okay to have that conversation, especially if you're in a long-term relationship, like, whoa, that was fast are you did you really just wow like don't shame him but also be like i need my fix real

someone said met this boy traveling but i'm not done traveling but really like him advice i have a lot of friends that um were like nomads taught english in um different countries traveled a lot and they had their little hookups around the world and they always kept in touch with them very casually but they never got serious with them and I think that's how they had the most fun you know when I'm around we're gonna have a lot of fun and we're gonna do our thing but when I'm not around like we can talk casually but I'm not gonna text you all day bitch I'm busy you know what I mean I think the best thing about traveling is just you should just collect boyfriends in every country you go to take a selfie with them put them in a scrapbook remember that forever

tips for apartment hunting the ones you see on like zillow or apartments.com they're good but the best apartments are the ones you're gonna see like randomly driving around and it's gonna have a random for rent sign outside those are the best ones those are the ones you need to contact asap and take a tour of that's how i found this amazing apartment i do not see it listed anywhere online in fact they don't list it online anywhere they have a website obviously but they don't list it on any of the big apartment websites I just was driving around and I saw a sign randomly on a apartment not even the one I live in and I emailed them and they happened to have one opening and I toured it and I loved it and I moved in in the span of a month go drive around go find a random

for a rent sign call the number tour the apartment that's the best way to find apartments someone said after i found out my ex was fucking other girls i fantasize about how he fucks them and it's so hard i'm trying not to compare myself to them but i would just fantasize about how he does it with them is this like a self-harm thinking about it or is this like a it kind of turns you on maybe you're like a freak and you're into it and you need to do a three-way or i also understand constantly thinking about it because it hurts you deep down but also like maybe have a three-way with them maybe that'll solve the fantasy the fantasizing you know why not life's short i don't know if that helps should i stop seeing

someone if they don't do drugs but i do no i don't think that's something you need to cut them out about now if they're like weird and a little bit like amish and shameful in that sort of sense where they're like marijuana is the devil's lettuce and it's like man we're not gonna get along i'm gonna be smoking a bowl in front of you but if it's like if they don't want to participate then fine like i love a sesh my favorite people at the sesh are the people who literally don't smoke and they're just there for the vibes they're like a they have the mind of the stoner but they never need to smoke ever in fact they start tweaking out when they smoke so like no one please do not smoke them out just for like their safety but i love having them around they're the

west those are my favorite people i love them but no like would you would you cut someone out of your life if they didn't like chocolate ice cream and you did i get the moral conflict of it all like if they want you to not do these things valid but also sometimes we change sometimes we don't depending on how intense it is if you feel like it's just like oh they don't do it then who cares let them make their own decisions but if they want to be around you and you do it then that's their choice you know someone said how to make a man hate his life for fucking me over for a friend um you know what we're on the patreon so i can give toxic advice you need to become the baddest bitch version of yourself possible you need to become so fucking sexy so fucking hot you already

are first of all but like that dream version you have in your head become her okay go out go have some fucking fun go have your little hookups go you know kiss and tell whatever and then whenever you see them or even if you don't see them just pretend they don't fucking exist they don't exist in your world okay you're too hot and amazing and sexy and attractive to even pretend that they could exist in your world um i also think a lot of people are like oh the the best get back is to like sleep with their friends but like is that really like it's not in involving another man in your get back is never going to be the flex you think it is because most of the time they're both laughing about you behind your back not the advice I would ever ever give ultimately when men

have fucked me over the biggest flex I've ever felt and the most powerful I've ever felt was when i started focusing on myself glowed up became a bad bitch obviously they realize and they reach out because they're like what the fuck did i lose and you know what i do red no response who are you who is this what's your name again oh yeah no that is like the most satisfying feeling ever like yeah bitch fuck you you didn't realize what the fuck you had and now you're regretting it obviously and bitch i don't care who are you that is the best feeling ever someone said baby girl era i love to depend on him in a independent bad bitch way of course i think it's just such a nice change of pace to have like somebody you can depend on especially as a partner like yes if i

ask you to do something please do it for me I would do anything for my partner so like I kind of expect that in return and after being in so many relationships where I just never received that it's kind of crazy finally having it and realizing like what you settled for so yes baby girl era I love a baby girl era like yes treat me nice call me pretty tell me I'm hot grab my ass buy me good food take care of me kiss my feet kiss the ground I walk on open the car door be a gentleman i love a gentleman okay i love a man that just listens does what the fuck he needs to do like fantastic amazing perfect what are signs that i'm dating a loser does dating a rich guy really mean anything no a lot a lot a lot not in fact most rich men are losers

you know what i mean like i think a lot of men compensate for their lack of personality their lack of drive their lack of um general humanness with money and they know they can get away with it because they have money and that makes them like a worse uh worse type of loser like a scarier loser they like jump from loser position to like evil you know what i mean so no them having money does not make a difference but i think a loser is somebody who it's not necessarily the personality traits they withhold internally maybe it is if it's like morally but i think it's more so about how they treat you um so like a broke loser would be one who a is broke but also doesn't give a fuck about you doesn't show up for you doesn't do what they can without the money they have doesn't

do general everyday activities doesn't take care of himself doesn't do the bare basics for himself so he doesn't know how to do the bare basics for you has no emotional empathy for themselves for you for others that's a fucking loser no drive no passion no inspiration general disdain for life you know you say something that you're excited about and they're like okay just a debbie downer that's a fucking loser okay no one wants that around them that can be a broke man okay it can also be a rich man a lot of rich men inhibit or inherit this quality sure they might be a little bit more driven driven but that lack of empathy for you for everybody else around them is still there they have more of a heightened sense of narcissism because they have that money to back

it up they know they can treat you bad because they have that money to back it up um so i feel like dating a rich loser is worse than dating a broke loser let's be real they it can be the same thing money doesn't change your position at all and i don't think it should change that position in your head uh but yeah signs of a loser just general person who has disdain for all life around them sometimes their own could be mostly others but yeah someone who like they walk into the room and like it turns dark that's a loser someone said tips for bloating love you hold on i'm going to go grab something real quick okay so i recently got these not sponsored once again i've actually just really enjoyed these they're called um so they're the love and wellness bye-bye blow digestive

enzymes and herbs for supporting digestive health and normalized water retention whoa is that a mouthful but they're fantastic if i have like a really really bad bloating day and i take some of these and go to bed and wake up in the morning amazing amazing also i found that a lot of the times when i'm bloated it's because i'm eating too much salt or not drinking enough water and my body is just like you know what i mean so if you're having too much salt make sure you offset it with water and also just make sure you're drinking your water okay make sure you are staying hydrated i also took this week off because i um have been working on getting all of your hoodies out to you they've all been shipped they should arrive within a week or so give it a little

bit of time um but tracking should automatically update to whatever email you put into um the little form when you buy and you fill out but thank you guys so much for all the support on the hoodies like oh my god I had so many of them and I was dropping them off at the post office and there's this old lady there and she was like you go girl you look well loved and I was like that is such a specific statement and they are so right I am well loved and you go girl that was a little bit of appreciation that i really needed um but also you guys just showing up every week and buying hoodies and supporting me and i'm still getting orders in and i'm still shipping them out um i will have them in stock for a while and i'll continuously be shipping them out but from that

first you know release if you ordered them they have been shipped out i did need a little week off so i could really focus on packaging shipping them out on time so you guys can have them and enjoyed them but once again thank you guys so much I love you all so so so much um it genuinely like overwhelms me like it's insane um I'm so genuinely appreciated and appreciative of you and I hope you enjoy your hoodies I hope they are comfy and cozy and a fun little thing to wear while you sesh it up maybe to this podcast maybe with your friends either way I hope you love it anyways I think that's it for the pod you guys thank you for being here thank you for being you thank you for supporting me along the way I am so thankful to be entering this new era of smoke

sash to be able to hang out with you guys every week provide a little bit of extra content for you as well thank you for being here with me thank you for showing up every single week it really really means the ultimate world to me and I'm excited to make more content for you guys to hang out a little bit more to keep showing up not only for myself but also for you guys and answering all your questions along the way I'm hoping to write a little bit more segments I I want to do some hot topics in the future, keep doing confessionals, maybe do a little like smoke and music episodes, fun things like that. There's a lot of exciting stuff coming, so stay tuned, but stay hot, stay sexy, stay

safe. If you want more content, Thursday's episode will be up on the Patreon. Come join, come hang out with the girlies. I do Sunday journal prompts. I do Monday manifestations. conversations I do astrology updates I do vlogs I do so much fun stuff on there so come join come hang out I just did a March tarot reading and I thought it was a great motivational tool tool for us all really spoke to a lot of you guys so any sort of extra content extra extra content will

be on there but I also share a lot of it on my Instagram as well I'm hoping to make more reels cooking with me smoke with me get ready with me's share more of my life with you guys on Instagram and also you can submit all of your questions on sundays now on my instagram at hannah marlene so i will see you all so very soon stay cute chat soon