Smoke Sesh - cosmic changes, true confidence & escaping the comfort zone

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Happy Tuesday and happy 12/22 today we talk Hannahs favorites, what’s been going on in the stars and how to plan, manifestations, true confidence and why faking it won’t make it, transition periods and change, rushing it, how long to get over a breakup, to spit or swallow, why tiktok is so toxic, conversation starters, taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone. Love you all so much I need more questions for Thursday so please submit everything to the Instagram @ hannahmarlene sending all my love

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Good morning, everybody. Happy April 12th.

I know, crazy right? It's wonderful to have you here. Welcome back. I look forward to doing this podcast so fucking much. It was honestly, I was gonna fill you in on my, okay, so much going on in my brain. Pause, we're 21 seconds in. Okay, I was gonna fill you in on my weekend and shit like that, but I can't lie, I have been hustling and grinding and working and I have not really done a whole lot and I haven't really had many chaotic customers thank god quite honestly because they really test my patience so I don't have anything to fill you up on when it comes to like my life life other than me apartment hunting and trying to do merch and working so then I can ball out on vacation in a few weeks um I do have a merch update it has I'm I wanted to have them out by

now um but i have been running into a few little struggles here and nothing too big i just had to change up some um the design i as an artist like complicated designs i like um unique designs i'm very particular with what i want i'm very picky one could say for the right reasons sometimes it does hold me back a little bit though um but i've just been chatting with suppliers trying to find um fabrics i enjoy trying to find quality items i enjoy it's been a little bit harder than i've expected um so i had to redesign the hoodies completely because they were too complicated quote unquote i just need to find a supplier who can do it um and that's going to take a little bit longer than i'd like but i'm hoping i can get the complicated hoodies out

by the summer um or the end of summer but I have good news I'm hoping to do a pre-sale on 420 so I'm hoping to drop all merch on 420 and then everything will ship about a week after that so 420 mark your calendars I got you I'll see you then I'm hoping I'll get hoodies done by then or maybe looking at some journals maybe looking at some lighters maybe looking at some grinders I'm excited. It's a small first drop, but I'm getting my toes in there trying to figure out how to make good stuff, make quality stuff. So thank you for bearing with me while I do so. Also, it's April 12th. It was brought to my attention today is a very big day in the astrology world. Let me tell you a little bit about it. First of all, it's just a really good manifesting

day um deciding on like future career uh future plans ideas stuff like that um so on april 12th 2022 for the first time since march 17th 1856 the jupiter neptune meetup takes place in psychic pisces at 23 degrees the zodiac sign that is co-ruled by jupiter and neptune make the most of it it hasn't occurred in over 150 years so 4-12-2022 is the luckiest day of the year for Pisces career um I am a Pisces rising so I'm going to be taking full advantage of this day and you should too we're going to get into so many questions regarding everything around that manifestation future ideas believing in yourself planning for yourself affirmations I'm so excited we're gonna get a little bit more spiritual a little bit more intuitive today so pour yourself

a little cup of coffee get yourself a snack start cleaning your room and let's get into it i'm not gonna lie i knew there was some sort of astrological shift coming up i don't pay attention super super particularly to like what's going on with the stars the dates um but when there are big things i do tend to notice them because i do feel a big shift recently i don't know what has been going on with me but i have just been so fucking driven i've been picking up extra shifts at work hustling for money i uploaded a shit ton of clothes on depop i'm trying to clean out my closet make room for better fits as my boyfriend would say um so if you're ever interested i'm purchasing clothes i have everything ranging from extra small to extra large on my depop at

smokes a shoddy with two y's um and i'll be uploading more and more and more there over the coming months as i'm moving out just because i have so much clothes i've been doing that hustling for a little bit of money they're trying to clear up my space i've been painting i've been designing merch i've been doing so much and usually i'm doing nothing i can't lie usually i'm doing the podcast and that is like the the most creative that i'm getting but i have just been so driven so passionate so inspired recently and i have like an endless amount of energy and i was like where is this coming from and then i realized okay maybe there's a little something going on but this is for the first time in our lifetime and the only time in our lifetime

jupiter and um neptune will meet in pisces the sign which they co-rule so arts will flourish and they'll be funded throughout 2022 and a unique style will emerge to become the emblem of the decade um i am really feeling it and i'm trying to take advantage of it while i can because i feel like a lot of the time i'm very drained very tired and i don't know if that's just like the winter mindset that i'm still trying to get out of the hibernation mindset um but i have just been going at it and i hope you guys are too i hope you're feeling that energetic shift um really embracing it as it comes to you and you know hustling creating doing things for you someone asked what my favorite creative apps on my phone are which i can't lie i'm designing all

the merch straight from my phone um tumblr pinterest i love pocket procreate love that you can get yourself a little stylus if you need i straight up just hand draw on it um i use bazaar visco if i need to like edit anything bazaar it's really great for like background editing and removing stuff canva is sometimes good i feel like it's a little bit more so for like commercial use but it's good if you need like logo design and then uh instagram i'm not even gonna lie the instagram explore page love it i get so many ideas from there i'm constantly saving shit resaving shit going through it finding new things finding new people who inspire me the people who inspire me the most on instagram are tattoo artists i can't lie um i

follow a lot of tattoo artists I don't even have like a shit ton of tattoos but I follow a lot of tattoo artists because simply the art they do they're constantly creating constantly coming up with new things and I love the letter work they do I love the stippling work they do everybody has like their own design style and it's really really inspiring because they're very passionate about their style and the kind of work they do so that's what I'm inspired by if there's anything that inspires you please send it my way always always always send to my instagram at hannah marlene i got on the podcast instagram the other day and there were so many dms and i'm not even lying i don't look at those dms at all i'm so so sorry so if you ever want to send a dm a question

poetry i had somebody send me poetry the other day thank you so much love it want to send me a little silly video some memes always to hannah marlene that's where i will see you and that's where I might respond um but yeah very excited love this energetic shift I'm I'm I'm trying to like I said embrace it as much and as long as I can until I get burnout again but I'm really in the creative mode recently okay recent faves that I've been obsessed with um I brought this up last week but the bread beauty supply hair oil oh my god i got a few questions a few dms about it um and i they were like does it actually work did you actually see a difference and let me tell you my hair was breaking breaking off okay i have not seen any growth in my hair for like a year

just because it was so damaged so brittle from how much heat i've used on it in the past couple years which i've completely stopped doing highly recommend um and it was just bad it was bad so much hair loss just because it was just snapping off and i started using this um hair oil i'll put it on my hair like soak my hair in it before i shower um or just put a little bit in the ends after i shower um as well as i'll braid it sometimes like when i'm doing like uh pigtail braids i'll put a bunch of that oil on my hair so i can do like a slick back look and then oh my god it smells so good leave it in all day shower oh my gosh i'm finally seeing my hair grow finally because it's not breaking anymore it actually has like sufficient amount of like vitamins and oil

and necessary things for your hair to not do so so if you're ever interested if you're really curious about it i really really recommend it i it's changed my hair and i will probably continue using it for the rest of my life um what else oh starface i know you guys know starface i've always seen their ads ads and i have friends who use them a lot and i was like okay is this just like a like a cute little okay i'm gonna put a sticker over my pimple and that's fine um and it's just cute and fun or is it like actually for acne like does it actually help so i went to target it forced my boyfriend to take me to target i hate target also i feel like every time i'm in there i am just getting i'm a super high which is already uncomfortable whenever

you're in a grocery store and b it's like the worst kind of people to be high around because it's like all suburban nosy white people and they are just like they're i always feel like i'm being stared at so that's super fun but went picked up some starface stickers oh my god i was shocked i cannot lie i was shocked i put it on my face i i started my period this week so i have been having some really bad um period breakouts specifically one really really bad spot on my chin i get a lot of hormone oh my god hormonal breakouts on my neck on my chin and on my shoulders not sure why um but i had a really really deep one and i haven't had like a really deep one in a long long time thank god i'm blessed for that i used to get like on my period when i

used to have my period when i was younger i would get at least like 25 cystic acne spots like it was brutal so whenever i get one now i'm like how do i handle this how do i go about this how do i get this gone so i had a really big one and it wouldn't pop it was just big and it was just mad and i was like okay i need to stop picking at this so i put a little sticker over it little starface sticker left it on for six hours like it said i took it off and literally as i was peeling it off it peeled out the pus that i was trying tmi but it peeled out the pus that i was trying to get literally for the past three days boom solved love it obsessed i think it's great i love star face if you ever have an issue with picking at your skin with cystic acne spots

especially on your face an area that you shouldn't pick out because the skin is so sensitive star face love it obsessed new favorite also bagels with um the garden herb and and cream cheese spread that's it's so good oh my god i eat a bagel every morning now because i'm addicted and last but not least for my favorites of the week pink runts love it 10 out of 10 definitely recommend it's so yummy like it's like fruity when you hit it oh my god obsessed anyways let's talk more about the jupiter neptune conjunction so once every 165 years the ruling planets of pisces jupiter and neptune comes together in the sign for a spiritual artistic and empathetic renaissance jupiter represents optimism and faith okay neptune represents dreams and visions put

the two together we have optimistic visions and faith in our dreams in other words we believe in ourselves our dreams and visions more than ever before knowing that we can make a difference tips for the conjunction spending time in nature or in spaces where you can let down the shell you typically wear in the world the more you can open your heart the more of an opportunity for downloads or synchronicity um pay attention to your dreams and to what your soul yearns for i've noticed a lot of people have been having like crazy crazy dreams recently um just uh create just because you want to manifest in feeling the sensations in your body and get clear on your visuals or at least the emotions be kind to strangers lovers and friends love love love

It's an incredible time for people who are in creative fields, such as painting, art, photography, and films, as well as those in holistic, spiritual, and religious space. It's a time for occult studies, including tarot, shamanism, astrology, and mediums. It's a time for those who tie the spiritual and scientific realms together, psychology, dream studies, psychedelics, ETC. When we open up our hearts to believe in ourselves, that goodness prevails and that we're fully supported by a cosmic force larger than we are. we begin to create more space for more heart-based actions in our careers and our relationships and with strangers we're out of survival mode and into creating mode and that's an abundant beautiful place to be love it such good energy going into this week i hope you're utilizing as much as you can today so first big topic we're really going to touch on today is confidence i literally just

tried to go over this and i recorded like 10 minutes of audio but i realized i was just rambling so I'm gonna try and contain my thoughts and really get to the point here um but I want to touch on confidence because you know it is spring we're getting into it we're exiting that hibernation mindset that hibernation mode you know what I mean um and I have talked about confidence once before or a few times before on this podcast and I think I had some truth behind what I was saying but I I have some more insight now and there's more I want to elaborate on because the way I touched on confidence previously if you listen to the confidence podcast I think it's like one of the first ones um I really approached it from a fake it till you make it kind of standpoint

and there's a lot of truth behind that I'm not gonna lie I do think there is a lot of benefit it and faking it till you make it but if that's all you're focusing on is faking it till you make it you're gonna keep faking it until you fucking die I am not even kidding you it's just gonna you're gonna work you're gonna start working backwards at some point so I don't think it's like the best advice but there is truth behind it let me tell you my story my journey I sure i'm sure a lot of people will relate to this um i have a very very strong sense of confidence now because i have spent a majority of my life being quite honestly my biggest hater okay the meanest person that there has been to me has been myself quite honestly um

and looking back I've realized that and when you're in that mindset that uh cyclical um like bullying mindset constantly against yourself constantly hating on yourself um it becomes comfortable it becomes like almost passionate in a sense it's like a driving force and looking back I realized that like uh that was a very passionate moment in my life even if it was in a negative way and if I was able to feel that much hatred towards myself I can flip it and feel 10 times more love for myself which I have done and I feel very accomplished in that and if you're in a place where it's like I can't get out of it I am constantly hating on myself I am bullying myself I don't want to be here I get it I literally almost committed suicide I

understand you um but I'm telling you right now that if you put in the work put in the effort into yourself it will pay off tenfold and that passion that that like almost comfortability that you find in sadness you can also find in happiness and you deserve to feel that okay you deserve to feel that so I spent a majority of my time quite honestly you know my own biggest bully in my head overthinking everything surrounding myself with people who I didn't need to be around never choosing the right thing for myself I was my biggest self-sabotager well there's only one self-sabotager but it would be me okay and it got to a point where well quite honestly got to a point where i almost died and i realized i have a choice here as much as i want to assume i don't

have a choice i do have a choice here and i can choose to do a little experiment you know i see these girls that i know and keep in mind this is like uh before under 20 so i was like when i was going through this phase it was like 16 to 20 i would say i would see these girls walk in the room light it up with their presence be comfortable in themselves express themselves in ways that maybe other people didn't agree with but they were so confident in themselves that they didn't give a fuck you could tell it you could tell that those like eye rolls the looks they were getting the things that people were saying would literally hit them and just completely wash right off no fucks given and I saw that and I wanted to be it and that's fine everybody wants to be that you

know what I mean and it gave me a little bit of hope but I also saw that they were faking it a little bit to be fair I was the the people that I was looking at were also my age so of course they were faking it a little bit so I took that as you know if I let's try just faking confidence just just once just we're gonna give a shot okay you're walking that room you're gonna own it you're gonna believe in yourself and you're just gonna give it one shot and I did I uh dropped out of college I listened to my intuition I started doing things for myself that were really really hard decisions and decisions that I don't think people around me would have agreed with because it didn't benefit them um and it was hard but it made me realize that I have my own back

and even if I do fake that confidence in that situation even if I do just take a blind fucking shot at it I just want to listen to myself I just want myself to be heard I'm gonna go for it I'm gonna trust myself I'm gonna take that risk it paid off and it established a healthy secure relationship between my inner self and well between my inner self and myself you know what i mean i realized that subconsciously i had my back because i was listening to my intuition i was listening to myself i was listening to what i wanted um now that was really motivating and it was like kind of the jump start to my um path of confidence but it wasn't the it wasn't the fix all okay because at this time i still was you know faking it till i make it and i don't

think that's the way to go about it at all sure you need kind of like a jump start you need something to kick off um like the process because it's really hard to first get into so yeah faking it till you make it is a good option for that but you quickly realize once you start doing that that if you keep doing it you don't get that same level of satisfaction because it's not real it's not real you don't actually believe in yourself you're just putting on a face you don't actually have your own back you're just pretending you do and so although there's a lot of truth in the whole fake it till you make it confidence standpoint it is i like to say a trial run okay it works but it works for a month a few months a few moments it works a little bit

and then you got to start putting in the work and if you don't put in the work you're not going to get there because true confidence comes from a secure relationship relationship between you and yourself that is what confidence comes from it doesn't come from your body it doesn't come from the outside world around you it comes inwardly all right because everything that you do inside affects everything that happens on the outside as well let me explain also let's hit a bowl i need a lightable before i dive into this i love confidence i i kind of had this realization yesterday at work when i was um i saw this dm i just had a dm and it was like hey girl i really need some advice on confidence you know you touched on it before but like like i said and

they said the faking it till you make it just has stopped working it doesn't work anymore and i feel like that was the whole 2021 push on tiktok that was the trend that was the trend everywhere it was just like you don't have confidence well put on a smile babe it'll work out and it's like okay love that but we need more sustenance here this isn't gonna survive you know so let's hit this bowl let's get into it let's deep dive i had the realization that faking it till you make it doesn't work when i don't know if you guys knew me from tiktok some of you guys know me from tiktok some of you guys found me for through this podcast some of you guys know me from who knows where but on tiktok i was kind of

going through this whole like confidence revival the fake it till you make a stage like i like to say um and i was trying to verbalize that in a sense that made sense to me as well as in a way that made sense to other people and it did have a really good it was a good translation people did hear it. People did love it. People were in tune with it. And I think it helped a lot of people as well as it helps me. But quickly, very quickly, I realized it was not a sustainable form because I fell back into old patterns. I fell back into kind of hating on myself a little bit, not trusting in myself, not believing in my own judgment. And I was confused because I was like, well, I go out there and i'm confident and i say all these things so why is it not working and it's because i wasn't

utilizing what i was saying i was not actually doing the in the inside work i was not putting that effort into myself i was just saying this shit putting on a face and then going on with my day you know that's not going to sustain any anybody's self-confidence at all and it took I'm not even kidding a few years like this was a recent revelation a few years of me like fumbling a little bit and finding myself and making more hard decisions for me to kind of realize where my true confidence came from and I think no I guarantee true confidence comes from full security from inside yourself you have to fix that relationship with yourself you do if you do not trust yourself if you do not trust your intuition if you do not trust your judgment

if you do not trust your thoughts okay then your confidence is not going to follow because you don't have trust in yourself all right the same way you build trust with a friend is the same way you got to build trust with yourself redirecting those negative thoughts redirecting the bad thoughts redirecting the anxiety working with yourself long term trying to fix your thought patterns trying to have more gratitude in your life trying to do all the fucking self-work that everybody doesn't want to do okay you have to do that stuff or else it's just it will not be a survivable way of sustaining confidence you're going to keep entering those cycles also on top of realizing that you have your own back and doing that work to kind of like be a friend to yourself

quite honestly establish a friendship relationship with yourself the same way you would with your best friend the way that you can go to your best friend for anything the way that you listen to your best friend's advice the way that you trust them and you find a safe spot in them that's the way you should also look at yourself and treat yourself okay you are your own best friend you're the best friend that you're gonna carry until you die all right you're the only guaranteed person with you until you die so treat yourself like that okay treat them well treat yourself nicely be kind to them show them a little patience show them a little empathy show yourself what you deserve okay especially if no one else is showing that to you but once you kind of establish that

base level of trust with yourself i'm talking deep inner work like i said fixing thought patterns fixing behavior patterns really doing that deep dive into your psyche and working with yourself hand in hand, not against yourself in a positive way, not against yourself in a negative way, working with yourself side by side, okay? You do that work, then you move on to understanding who you are, your hobbies, your passions, how you like to express yourself, okay? Because once you feel that base level security in and trust in yourself then those creative expressions and those new ideas and those those new jobs those new uh classes those new shoes you want to try anything that is a creative expression outwardly of yourself will be so much easier because you have

your back okay they will be so much easier and the things that don't come naturally you'll realize instantly that's not for me i don't want that i'm good a very easy quick no you'll realize it or when things feel good this is amazing class oh this is an amazing person oh i love this dress oh i love whatever it is okay whatever your expression is um that will also come second nature because you trust yourself you trust your intuition and also you feel secure in the relationship with yourself to express that people are always like how do you not get um insecure when you wear whatever you want outside especially as like a midwestern girly where everybody wears fucking ripped up flannel and jeans and has hay in between their teeth okay no that's mean um

i'm just joking um and it's because i love myself and i trust myself and i have my own back i'm my biggest fan so why the fuck do i care what anybody else says quite honestly why do i care once you have that level of understanding the outside stops affecting you so much because you don't care what the outside has to say you feel secure in yourself so you stop relying on the outside to bring that security towards you okay you have to have that base security with yourself and that is where true confidence comes from okay i genuinely believe true confidence is having your back trusting in yourself and expressing yourself truly and authentically that is true confidence and all of that comes inwardly absolutely absolutely so much to think about I just feel

like so many people think confidence comes from especially living in a capitalistic standpoint oh my god I need that new dress oh my god I need that new skincare oh my god I need that blah blah whatever it is no that's not gonna fix you oh my god I well what if I did this well if i go on this vacation well if i go to this place well if i live in this place if i if i move here nope no do the inner work become your own best friend fix the relationship with yourself you will be happy i guarantee it and it'll probably be in a way that you never expected i absolutely guarantee it if you're in that dark place if you're finding yourself consistently just like being down on yourself beating yourself up take a moment take a breather ask yourself why do you

think you deserve that and then start working on yourself start working on that relationship with yourself start rebuilding that trust because you deserve it and you deserve to be happy and you deserve to be confident and you deserve to feel like you're allowed to take up space in this world okay because if i'm allowed to take up space in this world then you are too all right i love you we're gonna work through it it's spring i want us all to be confident bad bitches and we're gonna get there i guarantee it together i'm sorry i know that was a bit of a ramble i'm just so tired of seeing people be like don't feel good it's okay you're hot don't like yourself it's okay you're hot don't don't have confidence babe it's okay we're all faking it it's like no

we can steer these people in the right direction just give them the right information as much as it's fun to laugh and giggle and be silly i do enjoy a good meme a good vid but come on we gotta do that work i know as much as as much as i don't want to get up and put in work you gotta i promise you'll be better for it you'll feel good you'll look great i guarantee let's smoke a little bully bowl get into some more questions i'm gonna do a blast through of a bunch of questions because you guys sent in a bunch of really good ones and i want to get to a lot of them um and also save some for thursday of course but let's hit this bowl someone sent in not a question but i've developed the capacity of reading high and it's incredible

love that i think that's a true piece right there is being able to just be like so fucking high and reading because then you just get like super lost in whatever world you're entering so good 10 out of 10 recommend i need to you're right i need to be able to do that i wish i had the capacity of being able to read while high but unfortunately i just like i have to reread the page and then reread it and then reread it i just need more practice if you have good books please let me know i've been i need to get some books because i'm going on some trips and i don't need to be on my phone during that but um bestie i graduate in a month and i feel so lost how do you handle uncertain transition periods love this question um I am entering a transition period as

well as a lot of people I think um and I think it makes a lot of people really nervous a lot like very uneasy unsure confused scared I think those are all valid normal emotions but I think you should also feel excited and hopeful and um what am i trying to think of what's the word oh shit i'm having a mind blank grateful oh my god grateful for the work that you've put in and for how far you've come um i used to get in transition periods um times of change maybe uh change that i didn't want change that i was fighting whatever it is i enter um positions of transition and my first instinct is to get scared get emotional get sad get a little insecure um and a little nervous because i hate change i'm not gonna lie those are the first emotions

that come up and with some work and re rewiring and really looking at the situations that I've been in and taking into consideration all of them I think when change does arrive and when new things happen and things that you maybe never expected or things that you've been leading up to for a while now I just I think you should allow yourself to be a little excited I'm not I'm not gonna lie allow yourself to be excited okay I used to like when I was leaving my nannying job and I was like oh my god I don't know what to do I don't know what I'm gonna do I'm so nervous I'm so stressed I took a moment and I was like these are the last few months I'm gonna get in this situation with these kids for forever I'm never ever gonna do this again probably especially with these kids

at this age the kids are incredible the family is incredible take the time to just slow down life moves so fast i just told myself i was like enjoy the time that you have now you're never gonna get it again have the most fun you can appreciate the moment that you're in appreciate the work that your future self has done to get here and yeah things are gonna change and i wasn't sure what i was gonna do either which made me even more uneasy because i hate the idea of not knowing things because I'm a nosy bitch um but I just I just stopped freaking myself out chose peace chose to enjoy where I was had faith in myself and the work that I've put in and faith in my future self as well that I'll figure it out when things are necessary I'll

you know I usually I always figure it out you always figure it out no matter what it figures itself out so don't worry about that okay universe has your back you also have your back um i was just like i'll figure it out i'm gonna appreciate every moment that i have right now and when the time comes that i do need to make those big decisions make those hard decisions when i am a little nervous a little uneasy that's okay but i trust myself and understanding that i will pick whatever is best okay change is a little scary it's all right to have those like you know shock reactions those those uh harsh reactions those negative reactions i feel like that's very normal um especially with the climate we are living in i feel like a lot of

us are very easy to anxiety um which is understandable but i don't think you should feel shame i don't think you should get stuck in those emotions um change is important change is great you're never gonna be in this experience this moment ever again through the rest of your life the only thing you can do is look back at it so choose to look back at it um and enjoy that moment choose to have gratitude in this present moment choose to have peace in this present moment as well um what did you say you're graduating you're never gonna be in the same room with those people ever again unless you go to a fucking like what reunion a school reunion what is that like 15 years after you graduate you are never going to experience those moments with those people

ever again sure you'll see them down the road you have friends you'll meet back up with high school friends but it's a little bittersweet enjoy it appreciate it okay your future self will appreciate your present self for doing so because then you'll look back and have the best memories quite honestly and don't be so harsh on your future self they've got it figured out i guarantee you things always work out even when you think they won't they always figure out because you're here right now listening to this podcast that means quite honestly whether you thought it worked out in your favor or not it's worked out you can figure it out you can get through it okay don't worry about the future it'll come enjoy the present moment I think also with transition

periods I would want to rush them I would always be like okay can I just get it over with can I just get can I get to the future right now can I just can I fly through this and I feel like I had a ton of those moments where I missed out a lot on the present moment and I wasn't appreciative and now when I look back I'm just like oh I wish I I wish I you know and you never want to have those well i wish i moments so enjoy what you have right now understand it'll get figured out and also don't rush it okay the transition the change whatever's necessary will come when it comes but you have to give it that time and the more you fight it the longer it'll it'll feel quite honestly every time i try and rush something the universe is like i'm gonna add 10

years onto that sentence all right just a few more months i'm gonna make it a little longer on her so i have learned very quickly just to be like you know what i'll be patient i heard i hear your universe i'll i'll do my time i'll figure it out don't rush it we have so many years on this planet you don't need to rush anything someone asked how to not be awkward if the convo is failing slash how to keep a convo going i love you so much love you um i i'm a gemini so i very much so have felt both both places um and when it comes to conversations if i'm not like entertained i'm a really bad conversationalist i can't lie i'm really bad at like small talk or even like talking to some new people or even talking to people who are a little socially anxious um i have a very

hard time with that i'm not gonna lie but when it gets to that point where i am just like conversating and it's like uncomfy and i can tell like our vibes aren't matching like i'm just i'm just not into it i don't know if me and this person can have good conversations i'm just like well bye peace and i know that's bad i know but i like i maybe it's not bad maybe i'm just like reading the vibes but there are times where you know conversations you don't know where to go you're like a little stuck you're not sure what to do sometimes the person you're talking to it just isn't a good conversationalist best thing to do ask them about ask them about them people love talking about themselves i love talking about myself oh my god it's my favorite thing

people ask me questions love it literally i do a podcast based on it that's insane full circle here um i always ask people questions oh my gosh where are you from what do you do what are you up to what'd you do this weekend how are you how are you feeling how are your parents how's your siblings literally any question i like your shoes where'd you get them just any sort of question that opens the air to them for them answering something and then also once they do that it's very much easy to kind of go on a spiral or um of like a conversation or um they kind of pick up the hints and then ask you a question so i think that's kind of the best way to do it someone asked april 12th is a great day for manifesting any rituals yes um i do have a little ritual i'm

to do later this evening um i'm gonna tap back into my witchy roots everybody in high school used to call me a witch because um well there's this amazing shop first of all i'm interested in the occult i do i am very much so it was a big kind of hyper fixation of mine in high school um but also there's this shop in kansas city called oracle love them love love what they do love what they're providing um and it's a great holistic shop crystals um bones candles anything you need um so i have a fortune candle that i have been saving from there i'm gonna go do a little manifestation a little gratitude journaling um dear universe type situation um and do a little meditation and light my candle and then do some work hopefully get some work done for the podcast

get some work done for my life do some journaling organizing whatever I need and hopefully that will kind of help aid in whatever piece I need a little offering to the universe is always nice and also it brings me a little bit more clear mind present mind less anxiety because I am just I have to plan I have to organize I have to do that deep inner work to feel that peace someone asked what's the average time needed to get over a breakup um I say three to let's say three to six months maybe three to eight we can push it to eight we'll push it three to eight months eight months is a long time I want to say six half a year um but uh actually let's lower it like a week to six months that's a good amount of time to get

over a breakup i feel like a lot of people sometimes go through the breakup inside the relationship itself so by the time they exit um they don't have a lot of feelings they don't have a lot of emotions they don't have a lot of connection left for that person and in that case yeah they get over that shit next day in a week in a month it's very quick you know what i mean um when people are blindsided when it's very random i feel like that's when it um turns into the longer um situations when people don't know what's going on when it's a situation shift i deal that well we dated but we never dated i feel like that is more on the longer term because um you have a lot of hope still you also have a lot of what ifs um you haven't really burned the

relationship out like the week-long people you still have a lot of like um fantasies probably but I feel like you can really cut back on the time by focusing on yourself and bettering your life I feel like a lot of people get stuck in this I get a lot of questions that are like I've been obsessed with this guy for two years I've been I've still been waiting on my ex for three years should i wait for this person like no you should immediately after the breakup as hard as it is babe as hard as it fucking is you need to get out there make new memories do new things create a new kind of not version of yourself but rediscover who you are outside of a relationship i think that really is the key to kind of cutting back on um making getting over

a breakup takes so fucking long just get out there build new memories yeah it's really hard to forget a person when you still sleep on the same sheets you guys used to sleep on when you still drive down the same road you used to drive down with them i don't fucking know when you still go to the same restaurant that you guys always went together yeah it's gonna be hard because you're constantly surrounded by the same old stagnant memories make new ones okay but yeah anything from like a week to six months i think that is like the breakup period after six months it's like okay let's get into it unless you're like there could be some trauma i hear you it can take longer but if it's just a normal breakup i think six months is more than enough time

someone asked spit or swallow thoughts on if being a spitter truly makes you a quitter um good question i say literally do whatever you want i don't think spitting makes you a quitter um i do both and here's why i don't like i don't like anybody unless prove me wrong you could be a freak props to you if i mean whenever i say freak i mean that in the best most positive way ever um because felt i swallow only if it's at the back of my throat already and if i have a bunch of spit in my mouth i don't like it when i feel all of it in my mouth because it's just like the three worst three worst things ever it's salty it's warm and it's slimy so your first instinct to be like is to be like oh my god what is in my mouth i'm not that much of a freak where

i enjoy having gum in my mouth so yeah sometimes i'll spit if it's like right in the front of my mouth i'm like oh i might throw up um but if it's already in my mouth and just spit at the back of my throat whatever just swallow get it over with sometimes it's easier just to be like done easy but either way whatever you want to do babe no one should ever be complaining someone said not a question i just want someone to be proud of me for getting the highest mark possible my first credit worthy assignment this year period round of applause can i get a round of applause i need like a soundboard anything background noises i love that i am proud of you you deserve some recognition um i remember when like there's no better feeling than putting in your all and having

it pay off literally no better feeling treat yourself to something you deserve it someone said i literally can't decide if i want a relationship or if i want to stay single um valid question i don't know what situation you're in if you're single i think also that's a little bull um i think i mean if you're in a relationship you should be all in quite honestly i think you should be like balls to the wall let's go for it i'm putting my all into you i hope you're doing the same but if you're single i think the mindset you should keep is not like i need somebody i need somebody i need someone to oh my better half i need someone to be my puzzle piece to fulfill my but to fulfill me to whatever i don't know whatever bullshit they like to spew out um

i don't think that's how that's the best way to go about dating because i think that's when you settle that's when you find convenience is easier that's when the not so good relationships happen i think if you're single you should focus on being single 100 and not like forcing yourself to stay single obviously um you know entertain whatever you want to go hang out with friends do new things but your mindset should be single and if somebody fits within your life perfectly wonderfully makes you laugh makes you all the qualities of everything you need while you're single while you're still kind of having that same independence while you're kind of um because i feel like a lot of people lose themselves in relationships so if somebody fits

in your life perfectly while you are a whole human while you are devoting a hundred percent of your time to yourself and your thoughts and your actions to yourself then that is a worthy relationship do you know what i mean i hope that made any sort of sense let's smoke this bowl though which social media do i think is most toxic uh tiktok 1000 1000 um it's just too much content too much media too much discourse too much negativity quite honestly masked as the need to be correct um and it's really bad for our brains horrible for our fucking brains oh my god there's no reason we should i should be able to scroll on a phone for eight hours without thinking about anything and then come out of it like a coma like trance that is scary that's scary because my brain

is like an adhd nightmare so the fact that i can completely shut it off there's something that can entertain my brain that much that's scary because that should not exist so keep that in mind um pregnancy scares can a mom opinions birth control big fan love you that was amazing to read out loud that just like it's just scratching my brain that really needed to be itched um pregnancy pregnancy scares yes yeah lots of them lots of them yeah babe i've been there i'm talking every month every month because i was a dumb ass and i would just be like no protection or protection would quite honestly be um what birth control that i maybe took every other day so i was scared all the time i specifically remember

my well i specifically remember going to a cvs one time to buy um a uh birth not birth control pregnancy test that's what i was looking for pregnancy test and as i was checking out the lady at the register like grabbed my hand as i was handing it to her and was like you'll you'll get through this god is on your side and i was just like you know what that's what i really needed hopefully she did not want me to have a kid hopefully it was like babe hopefully you're not pregnant i'm not sure which way she was swinging but it really i really needed to hear that at the moment also i specifically remember i would always drag my friends with me to go take my pregnancy test and i remember we were all going to hy-vee to like get groceries one day and

I was like oh yeah I also need a pregnancy test and Hy-Vee I don't know if you guys know what Hy-Vee is it's kind of like a uh it's a grocery store but not necessarily a home store so people who are there are usually only buying groceries um and I walked up to that register with a pregnancy test and everybody's looking around like um and then I made my friends go in the bathroom and take it with me yeah high v pregnancy tests love it yeah lots of pregnancy tests though um my best um advice is birth control yes get an iud i have not had a pregnancy scare for since they literally inserted this iud into my body three years ago that that's i have not had a pregnancy scare since then so if you need the peace of mind if you want your body to be

semi-hormone free fairly regulated if you basically just want your uterus to be a poison center for sperm which is basically what it is yeah love it 10 out of 10 if you can get through the pain because i also had some girl dm me holy shit so fucking funny i have to find it hold on hold on we're getting there um but it was about the iud and it made me laugh so hard because i felt she said i just got an iud and started and i literally threw up everywhere heartbreak yeah it hurts so bad i feel like i need to be put under and i don't mean to like scare anybody like it hurts but obviously i have one so it didn't hurt enough for me to obviously not get it um but it hurts and i feel like they really tell you they don't give you enough insight on the pain

and then it makes it more traumatic than it really needs to be they should tell you yeah this is a painful procedure so then mentally i'm ready to experience that when i go in there also you can ask so if you know um you are not gonna be able to handle the pain you and i have a high pain tolerance and holy shit but um i would ask for extra medication i'm not talking pain medication they give you like half well what they gave me which kind of worked it's like half of what the abortion pill is so it's the uh it's a half that basically dilates your cervix so it makes it loose because your cervix is not supposed to be loose unless you're giving birth you know i'm nine centimeters dilated or whatever that's your cervix that's the measuring how wide your

cervix is opening to allow a baby to come out um that's half of the abortion what the abortion pill is um so you can take that it's not an actual abortion pill um but it makes your cervix kind of dilate a little i think i took mine too late i definitely should have taken mine at the right times i don't think it worked but you can ask for that my doctor gave me that love plan parenthood they really pulled through on that um i also think my experience was a little bit more painful because she had a um a new nurse in there who was learning and so i think she took the procedure a little slower than usual so the new nurse could see um and i think that's why it was brutal so if they ask you if someone can watch no say no so that process might be a little slow can a mom

opinions um when i'm pregnant i don't know if i'll smoke not sure i would have to do a lot more research i'm not saying there's anything wrong i don't know i would definitely have to do more research i feel like if i was to get pregnant a lot of my habits would change in general so i don't think i would have a huge huge issue not smoking i think i'm fine without smoking um but after i have that kid holy shit i yes i will be a smoking parent if that is what you're asking me for sure now will i smoke in front of my kid will it be like super apparent to them um no i think my dad kind of did it the right way i'm not gonna lie i think he definitely was a can of parent but like to this day i still don't know the extent of it which i think is the best way to do it you

know you have your fun on your own time but with your with the kids you're a parent oh this is a good question what to do when you feel like no one supports your goals including your family and your boyfriend interesting um when it comes to your family you're stuck with them so unfortunately you're also kind of stuck with the way that they think and the older you get i feel like when i was younger i really resented a lot of my family um because of this kind of issue and then I grew up and I realized a lot of people are stuck in their own ways in their own ways of thinking they're doing their own level of healing that takes a different amount of time sometimes people straight up don't want to heal sometimes they do not want that and you realize that and

you realize that also occurs in your family and with your parents and the best thing you can do really is just give them space if they want to voice their opinions it's fine but like i said try and secure that healthy relationship within yourself so you don't really need that outward validation like yeah my parents are the best for me do they think do they love that i dropped out of college no were they going to tell me it's a bad idea yes did i care not really because in my heart i knew i was kind of doing the right thing um and it kind of goes like that especially with family now with the boyfriend situation no i your partner should support you okay i need my partner to support me when i'm right and when i'm wrong i mean obviously when i'm wrong i'm wrong of course

but like especially when it comes to your dreams and goals and your future plans you need somebody who you can trust to be there and support you throughout and if they can't do that they're not your partner quite honestly so i think that's one you should definitely think about okay last question we're gonna touch on for today this has been a fun episode have you guys had fun i've had fun happy tuesday this is a good day april 12th love it um but we're gonna smoke a little bowl and answer this last question but someone said risk taking slash getting out of that comfort zone for the better i love you so much you saved me love you um getting out of the comfort zone yes i love it love it let's get into it let's smoke a bowl first okay

um because i used to be like the queen of the comfort zone i'm talking like first 16 years of my life queen of the comfort zone hated leaving it hated doing things that made me uncomfortable hated taking risks i like the comfortable i like the known um i felt safe which is valid i feel like a lot of people feel safe within it but there's not a lot of growth that comes with it quite honestly you'd be the same person for the rest of your life if you stay within that safe zone so let's hit this bowl dive into it oh my god pink runs i'm obsessed also like i said have said before always mix with paz packs you can use code smoke sash for 10 off i love them i'm obsessed also they have carts i think it's the best thing if you

for um just like anxiety when i'm going to the grocery store like i said target stressed me the fuck out when i go there hi any grocery store any shopping experience if i'm high i get really stressed so i love their delta 8 and cbd carts because i can take those in the car with me anywhere hit them very discreetly go in do my business feel chill relax love it also this cbd the flour that i'm smoking right now will keep me alert and awake for the rest of the day thank god i won't have that awful weed headache that usually comes with it you know what i mean but let's hit this let's get into it pazpax code smoke sesh for 10% waft babes

i kind of talked about this in the last podcast um especially when it came to uh choosing yourself but growth all this change all this uh inner work that I'm talking about it's very easy for me to sit here and I go deeper into this in the last episode but it's very easy for me to sit here and be like yeah just do this okay yeah that sounds wonderful that sounds easy it's in reality extremely hard like very hard that inner work is sometimes not fun it's not cutesy little infographics and fun little illustrations and stickers and I did my manifestations for the day no it's hard it's it's tough work there's gonna be breakdowns there's gonna be crying it's gonna be confusing you're gonna struggle a little bit yes but you quite honestly need that

just to have that sense of accomplishment at the at the end i'm sorry i have the hiccups i like inhaled that smoke and like oh my god i like swallowed some oh my god give me the hiccups but to feel like that necessary sense of accomplishment you kind of have to struggle you know that when things come easy to you you don't get that like sense of accomplishment that you get when you struggle a little bit do the work put in the effort and then you know submit the assignment or whatever it is um that's a different level accomplishment a different sense of accomplishment that i think a lot of us are chasing and you will not get that unless you struggle now i'm not saying you should struggle for a long time i'm not saying it's necessary to

go through that um if it does come easier to you that's wonderful that's awesome but also if you're facing roadblocks i don't think that you should let that deter you okay because i think a lot of people let that let's that deter them and then they get stuck they get stuck they don't do any growth they don't ever go for anything they don't do any inter personal changes they don't do any deep self-diving and then they get stuck and they get complacent and they don't care all right i don't want you to get to that point it comes in inner work as well as outside work as well okay so that relationship with yourself that self-work it's going to be hard it's going to be challenging i talk about it in the um last podcast it's going to be a little frustrating

but what i didn't talk about is the outside challenges risks are going to be just as hard and confusing as frustrating as well okay um things like getting out of your comfort zone going for something doing a new class hanging out with a new friend going to a new place doing something alone whatever it is that's taking you out of that comfort zone is going to be beneficial for one of two ways you're gonna realize oh i didn't enjoy this that's okay you get that level or that sense of accomplishment because you oh my god i'm talking so fast because i'm so excited you get that level of accomplishment because you did it you feel successful and you understand more fully about yourself because you didn't enjoy it cool wonderful it's okay to not enjoy

things it's okay to not like things that's totally valid totally fine you have to listen to that okay and then understand how that connects to you um you'll feel like more rounded as a person i think but also it could totally go in the opposite way which is just as positive you did something you feel accomplished and you enjoyed it I think when I take risks I enjoy things more often because a lot of the times leading up to it I kind of psych myself out and I kind of put up these like um uh what is it like bad situations I overthink I think negatively of things and I do try and combat that when it when i do do that um try and clear my mind understand it's probably not going to happen overthinking do mind dumps in the journal love it um but i do kind of have that

negative connotation going into it so when i do go into it and realize it's fun because most things quite honestly are i just have such a good time i do anywhere i could go rock climbing have fun i could go on river rafting and have fun okay i could go to a concert by myself and have fun i can go to a new class and have fun okay because usually it's not as bad as you fucking make it out to be in your head okay i don't know why we condition ourselves to be so afraid of everything i'm not sure if it's my anxiety disorder i don't know if you're like me where i'm just constantly psyching myself out overthinking unsure but I've let that hold me back for so fucking long so long and every time I thought oh no this is gonna be fun I don't go and then I just am in

my safe zone I'm in my comfort zone and I never learn new things about myself but once I started stepping out of my comfort zone well I just have a calling towards this so I'm gonna try this and i'm scared and i'm nervous and this is really i'm a little uneasy um but i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna try it and when i get there and i try it and i get out of my comfort zone and i see myself stepping up to who i want to be i feel that comfort and i end up having so much fun so i am a big fan of risk taking i am a big fan of getting out of your comfort zone um if if you think quite honestly it will be beneficial for you if you've been interested in it if you have any sort of curiosity if even you don't have any interest in it maybe somebody invited you somewhere maybe something

new is going on in your town maybe it's like an obligation go try and have the most fun you can try and understand something new about yourself it'll strengthen the relationship that you have between yourself the bond that you have with yourself okay and if you don't like it that's fine and it's gonna be hard all right don't let it get you down though don't let yourself be complacent we gotta grow we gotta do better we gotta get out of our comfort zones okay you can't live in that one space you can't live in that one mindset you can't be that one person for the rest of your life and i know a lot of people who do and it's really sad and frustrating because it's the kind of people where you're like you want the best for them you want them to be like the

best selves that they can possibly be you see that capacity for themselves or oh my god for themselves for them but they just don't see it in themselves and they never take advantage of that and they never go for it and it's heartbreaking to see i'm sure you are thinking of somebody right now um i can think of a few quite honestly so don't be that person okay have that insight listen to me go do things go step out of your comfort zone go grow i can think of at least 10 different people i have been on my hand hands i guess throughout my lifetime and i love every single one of them and i love the way i've changed and i love the way i've grown and i love the way i've developed and i love the new insights i have in my life and i cannot wait to see who else i

become in this lifetime i love you all so much happy 12 22 oh my god all the twos 111 and 222 and 1212 are like my um big recent angel numbers that have been showing themselves to me literally yesterday 222 a car with license plate 222 slammed on their brakes in front of me i don't know if i was riding their ass or what but they slammed on their bikes in front of me like in the street like a 40 mile per hour street and just like stopped in the middle of the road in the right hand lane not even they weren't turning they just stopped and i was like what the fuck is going on then i looked down and i was two to two and i was like oh my god they just tried to kill me but also maybe that was a sign i needed maybe i'm crazy i also keep seeing 12

12 on the um the kitchen um oven like clock and i have been like hoping and manifesting that this new apartment works out especially because i just have my own kitchen i have my own space to cook i feel like there's a like i have like kind of a um it's like a safe space the kitchen i love cooking i love creating especially desserts new dinners i love the idea of eating together of sharing food them like family style so i've been really trying to manifest a new apartment a safe space a good space and hopefully that means that it's working out but today come up with your manifestations really look at your future self look at what you want for yourself and take those steps to them bridge the gap okay we're gonna secure relationships with ourself we're gonna be our

best friends and we're gonna get through it i love you i'm gonna see you um thursday we'll go over probably more manifestations i'm also gonna post another questionnaire to my instagram um at hannah marlene i'm gonna ask some more questions for thursday because i covered a lot i did cover a lot for tuesday i feel like a lot of people had very similar questions and i want some new fresh ones maybe some new confessions oh i'm so excited happy 12 22 i hope you have a wonderful day love you all so much