Smoke Sesh - crazy girl, protection rituals & getting out of a slump

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

helloooooo everyone and happy Tuesday! So excited to be back for another sesh with all my favorite people, I catch you up on what I’ve been up to and how I’m surviving this winter, we talk protection rituals, porn in relationships, people pleasing and dating lower than your standards, how to change your life quick, weed codependency, how to express your crazy girl thoughts, thanksgiving and body issues, hygiene tips for the girlies, do breaks work in relationships? Christmas budget, moving, sucking dick 101, breaking the winter slump, work environment, serial dating and much much muchhh more. Love you all so much I hope you have an amazing rest of your week and I’ll see you all next Tuesday! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning hotties across the world. i'm so excited to be back for another little smoke sesh with you all it is a honestly pretty gloomy tuesday i'm looking out the window right now i'm sitting at my little altar space

in my cute little cheetah chair curled up with my stuffed animals we're really in it today um but we are officially i think in like the depths of winter like you know that pre-winter oh my god fall pre-winter bitch come on fall like fall's fun okay you get like 70 degrees here you get like a little taste of winter maybe a little 40 degrees there there's still leaves on the trees you know the trees are changing color it's beautiful out yeah we're past that now like there are no leaves left it is just barren trees um and pretty gloomy and cold out and my brain is trying to do like regroup refresh um and that's really what i've been dealing with lately that on top of work i've been trying to get like nasty and cozy in my house find more things for

me to do inside um i have been trying to binge read the new not new but the new hunger games book so i can go see the movie and like actually know what the fuck's going on because when i tell you i was every weird child or weird person growing up had a strange infatuation with the hunger games and like when i meet somebody and i ask them so like did you like the hunger games and if they're like yeah it was good then i'm like okay you know you weren't that weird but if they're like no no like i used to dress up and go outside and play with the neighborhood kids and pretend we were killing each other i'm like yeah you're a weird bitch and i love you because that's exactly how i was that's exactly how i was like strange odd infatuation probably because

like the first book series i actually cognitively got into as a young child but i really am trying to tap back into that like energy i remember staying up late to like 2 a.m like binge reading my books my parents like take books out of my room because they're like bitch you have to sleep you need to sleep okay stop reading and i want to get back into that so i have been binge reading that book i have been doing little like pilates workouts at home i talked in the last episode about like getting in tune with your body and body neutrality and how important that is to view your body outside of this kind of like societal weight and more so as just simply what we are which is human beings with a body and getting into like a little pilates routine at home has

been so freaking nice um i'm not a class person i don't know if you guys need to be in a class in order to do workouts i don't like being in a class i just feel i don't know i'm like way too aware of myself and that takes me out of it um I like being in my own space on my own time doing workouts that I think are good for me which are like the 10 minute ones you know like the 20 minute maybe you know I'm not there for I'm working my way up to an hour but we are not there quite yet but doing that at home has been really really nice I just go on YouTube and type in Pilates, 10 minutes, and then like whatever area I want to work on. And that's been a really great way to kind of center myself back into my body as well as reading. And yeah, it's really about

the little things that I've been focusing on, especially because winter, I'm also trying to plan being proactive, trying to plan like little experiences and events for me to do to get to force myself out of the house because I have a habit of just like, listen, my house is comfy and cozy and when I'm here sometimes I don't like to leave okay like I love my bed she's my best friend but also we need time apart sometimes okay because then it turns into rotting and no one wants to be there so I'm like trying to plan little things to do there's like a ceramic cafe near me that I want to go like paint little ceramic maybe little coffee mugs together I want to go to the cat cafe that's near my house I want to go to the aquarium there's like little things

that I want to do and want to try and so I've been trying to work on my list today about those things but that's really all I've got to catch you guys up on other than that and working um and posting silly little videos on the internet that's really all I've been up to nothing crazy and exciting going on i know why you guys are here i know you guys have so many questions for me so with that little update maybe a little reminder to you guys to you know don't get lost in winter don't because i feel like we have a habit of like waking up around january and around new years and being like oh holy shit i've just been inside for the past three months like whoa time is flying by and i haven't really been aware of it to kind of step into time

and take control of it and plan accordingly and seek positivity throughout it you know winter doesn't have to control us as much as it does oh you la girlies who get to experience freaking summer all the time how lucky are you but also i think it's good for the soul my midwest soul to experience winter to experience the full cycle of life so i'm trying to get through it the best i can and i hope you guys are as well but let's get into all of your deepest darkest questions i think this is a great question to kick things off someone asked what are your cleansing and protection rituals or anything else to help you oh i surround myself with a lot of white candles i feel like especially in the home i feel um that's a really great way to kind of cleanse

the energy and cleanse the space um sage and i feel like palo santo are closed practices so i don't engage in those quite often um because i feel like a lot of people choose to use like a smoke to physically cleanse your space um i like a white candle i feel like it brings in purity i feel like it brings in newness and freshness i love a kapal incense it is my absolute favorite favorite like scent of incense I discovered it when I went to this like women's circle this like witches full moon circle um and she was talking about how during her travel she just finally found somebody with like so much kapal and she shared it with us and gave some to us and oh my god it smells amazing and it is another thing that I love to use especially when it comes to

cleansing my space um salt salt is a fantastic tool to use um it is an amazing property to not only cleanse your space but also your body um if you're trying to do like a physical like wash cleanse i feel like the shower in itself is a perfect place whether it's just like taking extra time in your routine taking extra time to soak in a bath to soak in hot water cold water whatever you need but also I like making a body scrub as well I feel like a body scrub is a great protection cleansing and also like self-love ritual that I engage in pretty often um I take like a cup of sugar half a cup of coconut oil and then i'll sprinkle in some salt as well probably like a fourth of a cup of salt like you're not eating it so it's just sugar and salt coconut oil

i'll crush some rose petals up in there um any sort of flower maybe lavender um scents that you like vanilla it's a completely like build your own ritual that i think anybody can participate in whatever you feel called to is what you should lean into um but yeah those are my kind of favorites definitely white candles lots of salt a first time i moved in my apartment i placed salt in every corner of the house and i placed it on the windowsills and entryways to kind of cleanse the space and prepare it for me to move in so there was no residual energies here good or bad because this is like a historical building okay like there's a lot going on in here and i didn't want that lingering around if it was going to be negative um and yeah i love a salt cleanse

i love also just like a long shower i feel like that is a great way to cleanse and lean into self-love on a daily basis so oh someone said i just found out my boyfriend watches porn i don't know how to feel but i don't love it help illy love you okay here's the thing i think porn is a very normal thing well everybody's watched porn at least once in their life and some people you know use it every once in a while and i feel like that is a very normal thing okay like sometimes i use it sometimes other people use it i'm sure my boyfriend has used it at some point you know it's something that I don't put a lot of thought and energy into because a it's not a problem and b me sitting here and overthinking it and overthinking it and spiraling because I want to

be in control and because I you know maybe have a small issue with something is not healthy for me or for anybody else involved now that's kind of based around a very normal usage as in you know everybody watches porn at some point now I do think a lot of women deal with porn over consumption in their relationships with men because a lot of men see porn as like a formal way of intimacy and not like a casual usage and i do think a lot of women find themselves in relationships where like porn addiction is a very very real thing now if you're in a relationship where it's like he is constantly watching it you are constantly finding it on his phone he's maybe not as intimate with you or overly intimate in a way that you don't find comfortable if he's self-isolating

in order to do this if he is um you know if it's negatively affecting his life and you are noticing these things like literal porn addiction now that's when you step in and you say something you're like hey this is not healthy and quite honestly it's really weird and you need to get into the real world and stop fucking watching porn like it is just a dopamine addiction and you need to step away there's two very different sides of this here one a normal consumption every once in a while maybe they just want to jerk it and they want to watch something casual doesn't affect their relationships turn it on turn it off kind of thing but i do think a lot of women also deal with the porn addiction boys and like the men who are just like cannot be intimate without it

and that is not a healthy way to see intimacy and if they cannot work through that or understand that they have an issue i honestly would take a step away i don't think those relationships are ones that you need to succumb yourself to because it is just such a it can be such a deep deep addiction um and unless they want to help themselves you can't really help them once once again it's a dopamine addiction they are physically addicted to this thing to watching this thing it is over consuming their life um and that's something i would have a talk with your partner about if you think it is a real thing like it is drastically affecting your relationship and his relationship with other people and to the real world but if you just

randomly stumbled upon it girl i i would just like mind wipe that from your head and move on with your life and be like it's whatever you know everybody watches porn at some point don't overthink it but love you someone said why do i always date guys that i'm not really into probably because you have some people-pleasing tendencies and you see creating a relationship with these people as quote-unquote winning as winning them over and even if you don't like them you would like to win them over and have them like you you gotta get real comfortable with people not liking you okay especially people that you simply like don't give a fuck about or like don't care about you don't have to appease them you don't

have to win them over okay that's not going to do anything good for you and if if anything it's going to find you in another relationship that simply doesn't mean anything because you're going to be two years in and looking around like wow i really fucking hate this person but i'm stuck and i've just spent two years of my life making one person like me that i simply don't even like myself. So I think when you're getting into relationships, and you do have this people pleasing, you know, habit, or if you're getting into dating, and you have this people pleasing habit, go on the dates, you know, go on them, experience this person firsthand. But then when you come back, don't immediately fall into that romanticization technique of, oh, but imagine us

with kids or imagine him with a job or you know what if he shaved his beard no no no no no none of that fairy tale bullshit sit down and honestly ask yourself what do i like and dislike about this person the way they presented themselves the way they treated me the way they saw the world the goals they have and if you you know do the little list little pros and cons and the cons outweigh the pros accept that you probably don't like this person you're not feeling it and you don't have to win them over you don't every date is not about winning them over it's about asking yourself do i simply even like this person i feel like people view dating nowadays as like i'm gonna go on this date and i have to win them over i have to i have to date them it's a game

you know I have to win the game and that's not how it is it's about discovering who you are and what you like and seeking that through rather than what other people like and desire and becoming that the world's your oyster you know and if you don't like somebody girl throw them to the curb who cares you know move on seek out what you like and what you desire and in turn you know the puzzle pieces will fall into the right place i promise you but you got to put yourself first babe someone said help me change my life quick mama hannah and i have one thing to say to you and honestly that's about it you know what i think we can do whatever we want with our lives and every morning is a new opportunity for a fresh start love you okay someone said hi hannah

love you can we chat about codependency to weed please yes ma'am we can if you cannot do something without smoking that's codependency if you wake up every morning and the your first thought is smoking that's codependency if you know you are doing things in order to smoke that is codependency and that is unhealthy and before you're like the weed bros get in here and they're like well i just like it because it makes my life better listen bitch anything in your life that you are using in that way whether it's alcohol whether it's sex drugs money love you can have a codependency addiction too and it makes it unhealthy you can be addicted to literally anything it is all about intention and usage and if you do not have a control on it then i think that is a sign for

you to step back to think to reevaluate your relationship with it ask yourself where do you want to go how do i how do i actually want this relationship to grow and prosper how do i want weed to actually be used in my life and then use it accordingly you are not a victim to your situations you can well situations that you put yourself into you can do better you can choose to change you can choose to you know re-evaluate your life and take the steps accordingly i was like oh holy shit why do my knees feel like i'm 80 why are they cracking every time on i'm on top of my boyfriend maybe i should start working out and you know what i stopped i thought about it i asked myself what's the best way to go about it is it classes is it at home blah blah blah blah

and i started fucking doing it the hardest part is simply starting once you start that's going to add a little bit of confidence to yourself it's going to add a little bit of trust to yourself it's going to add you know a little bit of oomph to your life and it's going to become a new like healthier addiction to replace the unhealthy one you're going to want to do this every day you're going to want to become better every day because it's going to emphasize the strength and the confidence within your relationship with yourself so i dare you like if you feel like you are having you know a codependent relationship with anything any sort of unhealthy behavior especially weed stop reevaluate and ask yourself like how do i see this fitting into my life and then live

accordingly we are the only people in control of our lives and if we do not choose to take control of it your life is going to take control of you you cannot succumb and be a you know a victim of your life you need to be the conductor of your train girly okay and it simply starts with making the choice to start it doesn't have to be today it can be tomorrow it can be when you are adequate adequately prepared but the key is to simply start to look forward to dream to create the life that you envision for yourself and it simply starts with believing in yourself and starting so but codependency with weed is a real thing it's a very serious thing as well um feeling like you can't do anything without being high is a very unhealthy way to live life um and i mean weed can emphasize

uh fun things in your life but if you feel like you need it to do everything i would maybe stop and reevaluate someone said how do i stop acting crazy when i finally find a good man i think my brain is ruined it's not ruined it's not sometimes even in my current relationship i'm acting crazy but what i say before i say the crazy thing is i say i know this is crazy but blah blah blah and then i usually break down start crying and like i just need to get it off my chest because i know i'm sounding crazy but i can't let it sit inside so i always preface with i know i'm sounding crazy right now but I need to get it off my chest and usually my partner will hear that and understand that because he's also a little crazy sometimes you know and he'll be like you

know I think you just need like reassurance right now and I'm more than happy to give that to you and like you know we'll spend a night together we'll hang out you know because usually these like crazy thoughts and feelings are stemming from somewhere else but my brain doesn't know how to connect the pieces quite yet or understand where they're coming from so rather than having like a random breakdown for no reason really I am understanding of like no no that this is a little crazy but we've been in a relationship long enough that I can be like hey this is a really crazy thought I'm having but I need to verbalize it and maybe I just need some reassurance right now like I know this isn't based in reality but maybe I just need a hug and being aware and mindful that

like this thought isn't based in reality but also I need to get it off my chest and I would like some reassurance from you and communicating that to your partner your partner should be able to hear that and understand that and provide that for you and if they are not willing to maybe they're not a great partner for you um but i do understand being a crazy girl in a relationship is very hard because like i'll be like is he cheating on me even though it's like he's home all the time and like literally whenever it's like i'm gonna think some crazy thoughts right now and they're not based in reality and usually when i am having those thoughts i need to just get them out whether it is like communicating that I'm having a crazy thought right now or like getting in my journal

and just like putting it somewhere but anywhere but my brain getting it out of my brain especially having ADHD and having those like circular thoughts that continuously happen and happen and happen until I speak them out loud or write them down somewhere being proactive and being like I got to get rid of the circular thought and just get it off my chest and get it out into the universe rather than stuck within stuck inside me really really helps um also staying busy staying busy is a fantastic way of keeping the crazy out when I have too much time to just sit and think and think and think and think those thoughts are not always going to be rational let me tell you that my parents when I was uh younger tried to keep me as busy as possible because um my dad was a high

school counselor and he found that listen I went to a psych ward so he didn't but also I had depression but I found when I stopped playing sports and I stopped having afternoon activities and I started just like coming home after school and sitting and having way too much time to overthink that's when I stopped thinking in reality and started thinking unrationally and started getting a little crazier and my thoughts started taking control of me so staying busy especially for the crazy girl is so important um having things to do having activities to do like literally setting up playdates for yourself being like I have this day off and I have nothing to do and I know I'm gonna sit here and go insane so like let's take up fucking knitting like I don't

know let's start a movie and paint let's call up my friend and be like hey I need to do something right now let's go get tattoos let's go get tacos I don't know anything to keep your brain from taking control of your life you have to be proactive and do those things you can't succumb to your thoughts understand that sometimes your thoughts are based in reality sometimes they're not um and give weight to the ones that are rational but stop giving weight to the ones that simply just don't matter in the grand scheme of things you know what i mean but specifically in a relationship when you are having those moments of weakness especially like i have pmdd tendencies tendencies where um like two weeks before my period it's like the same cycle every fucking

month i go through the same thought process every month and realizing that i go through those has helped like understanding the cycles of thoughts has really really helped so when i am feeling this way i understand like okay you know this is just my pmdd it's not like based in reality but then also communicating those to my partner so i'm not going through it alone really has strengthened our bond and also having that reassurance from your partner is really really helpful and having a partner who's willing to give reassurance is key if they are not willing to girl that man does not love you i hate to say it i hate to say it but if you're like hey we're going fucking crazy right now and maybe i just need a hug and if he's like no what what are we doing here me thinking about

a man i literally dated for two years like what the fuck was i doing probably because i was just chasing validation stop chasing validation ladies lean into yourself lean into your sensitivity it is important to be sensitive and aware of the world around you but you can't let your thoughts control you you know what i mean and getting them off your chest and out of your mind and out of that circular thought process is very important especially for the crazy girl like me someone said thinking about starting an only fan slash fin dom twitter but i'm scared people i know will find it I don't think I will ever encourage women into the life of OnlyFans. I think that is something you need to choose for yourself for any sort of sex work.

It is never the easy choice. It is not going to be an easy job. And if your first thought is, oh, I don't want people to find out about it, guess what they are. That is the first thing that's going to happen. And if you don't think you can handle that, I would not even think about starting, okay? um I have so much respect for all of my sex workers out there for all the women who work hard for themselves I think you know every woman should be able to do whatever they want with their body and any job that they possibly desire and if that's what you choose absolutely but I think when

it is framed especially towards young women to be an easy job that it's quick money fast cash that is simply a lie no job is ever going to be like that especially a job with your body it's going to be very taxing it's going to put a little bit of a it's going to be hard on your relationship with yourself and your body and having to deal with men every day is never fun trust me I work in the service industry I know I know what it's like but you need to be understanding of the realities of what that kind of job brings and you need to be open to all the possibilities and accepting of them um I don't think you should enter this line of work thinking no one will ever find out about it people will and I think to get ahead of the game you simply need to like

you need to be able to have those conversations with your parents say yeah you know what I am doing this uh let them know before someone else randomly tells them you know what I mean um but I I don't think I will ever encourage that line of work because it is so so so much harder than anybody gives sex workers credit for men will be like yeah only if it's so easy you just post you just post your titties and then you get like thousands of dollars hell no it is not that fucking easy the relationship you have with yourself the work you put into yourself the work you put into these people these customers having to get up every day and use your body to make money that is very taxing and it's hard work and i have so much respect for the women who do it

but I don't think it's ever something that I would suggest if you were looking for quick money and fast cash get into the restaurant industry get into serving go work at a diner in the mornings you will make so much fucking money you have interactions with people you will learn how to communicate you will learn how to you know think quickly to work on your feet that is the kind of job that I would suggest for people looking to make fast cash I do not think OnlyFans is that It takes a lot of hard work, takes a lot of dedication, not only to yourself, but also to like, just work in general. And it is a very, very hard taxing job. And I have so much respect for those people. But if it's something where you like have some fears about it, those fears are valid. And I think you should honestly think those through very, very hard before doing so. um and if you think people won't find out about it they will and that's a you have to find peace within that and within yourself and if you don't think you can then i don't think that job is for

you oh my god someone said and i would love to talk about this body image issues during thanksgiving makes enjoying the meals hard absolutely ever since i started gaining weight and going to family thanksgivings i'll make my plate and literally my whole entire family um extended family not my close family they would never do this my extended family who all have like eating disorders but won't ever get them fixed or work on themselves and just project it onto other people they will be like wow that is the biggest plate of food i have ever seen in my life are you gonna eat all of that food and at this point like it used to make me uncomfortable at first because like girl what the fuck are you saying to me like obviously that's gonna make me uncomfortable

but now i just take it and i throw it right back into their face i'll be like yeah isn't food supposed to be enjoyed aren't we supposed to be sharing a meal together i'm surprised you didn't get more are you gonna get more of that that doesn't look like a lot you really just have to flip the switch and show them like how fucking crazy they're talking to you like you gotta throw the question back in their face instead of just like being like taking it don't ever take that kind of like criticism or conversation okay you gotta stand up for yourself and be like well aren't you gonna eat more i thought we were supposed to share a meal together are you that doesn't look like lunch is that enough is that healthy for you i feel like you should be eating more literally

throw it back in their fucking face okay because it is just like oh it's so annoying it is so annoying like food is meant to be enjoyed you're supposed to share a meal with your family during this time so lean into that this is the one time of a year that you're supposed to like make food share it enjoy it okay and if somebody is making you feel bad about the amount of food you're eating or your body or in any sort of way like that sort of situation don't take any shit just because their family doesn't mean they're allowed to talk down on you or talk or talk badly about you or emphasize that sort of negative thinking in any sort of way okay um go out there make your plates enjoy your meal go on a walk afterwards life is about enjoying food with people that you

love even if you don't love your extended family that's okay but i'm sure there's someone there that you love so go out there and share a meal with somebody you love and enjoy okay someone said how do you decide when someone you're dating casually is worth pursuing further i think you just know i feel like it's a very natural progression of things you both are putting in equal time and energy and effort you're both kind of like you're each taking the step necessary in your own time to work your way towards like dating status there is no if and buts wins like oh he's not showing the same amount or i'm not showing the same amount i feel like the real healthy relationships that make it out of that kind of like awkward casual dating stage are the

ones where it's like maybe we don't have labels on this but we're both equally involved with each other and we're both interested in taking it to that next step and you know this through words and actions and intentions okay if you are left anywhere confused whether it's your brain confusing you or them confusing you and you're like well i don't know ask ask simply ask why are people afraid to ask how other people feel nowadays that shit confuses me bitch i'll send you a 10 paragraph paper on what i am curious about and i expect the same thing back like maybe i'm insane okay but like ask people how they feel i don't know why communicating emotions nowadays is like so taboo ask them how they feel and if they don't know that's the answer you need if

they're like well i don't know what i want cool you don't know and if you don't know then the answer is obviously not me and you know that hurts a little bit but i need to take that answer at face value and i need to move forward with my life if this is not something that you want to pursue you know what thank you for telling me that you don't know or maybe it's not me we're gonna just like i'm gonna take a step back and re-evaluate and understand that you're not a person who is interested or deserving because you're not interested in being in my life all right now if they're like maybe i need some time but i am interested in you you know we've only known each other for three months but i do want to keep it working forward that's valid you don't

have to jump into dating right away you know but as long as the intentions the communication and the actions are there the three key things then I think it's worth pursuing and worth slowly working your way forwards okay relationships take time to build you know you're just discovering each other you're just getting to know each other so have some fun but once again they it needs to be a equal input of effort and if you find yourself working harder than the other person and it's very obvious that they are not showing signs of wanting to actually have a real beneficial relationship with you for your own mental health and your own sanity cut that shit off okay you will feel so much stronger and better for it like sure it's gonna hurt but having the strength and the courage

to know your worth and your value and to stand up and say you know what i don't think this is worth it you will feel so much confident about yourself you will feel so much more trusting in yourself and just like the overall self-worth that you have will skyrocket people see like a failed situationship as like a lowering your self-worth no bitch cut that ugly ass man off and move on there's so many men out there there's so many women out there's so many people out there that are begging to get to know you so if someone isn't girl you gotta move on you do that fantasy that you created in your head is not reality all right accept that understand that keep moving forward someone said hygiene tips for the girlies okay love this question i'm trying to think like hygiene

where like we all have mouths i don't know that's really for the girlies brush your teeth twice a day floss if possible um my dentist said she would rather have me eat a whole chocolate bar than drink a soda because liquid sugar is worse for your teeth than actual solid sugar which in my brain didn't make sense but then she was like no no like the liquid can get everywhere in your teeth so when you're drinking liquid sugar and then like not brushing your teeth afterwards it's gonna give you cavities because it's just gonna sit in all the crevices that changed my view on soda i stopped drinking soda i drink lacroix but the coffee she was like if you drink sugary coffee to like brush your teeth after after drinking the sugary coffee to get the sugar out of your teeth

and that's something i've been living by um brush your teeth before bed i know my depression girlies it is hard you get in your bed it's so comfy i don't want to get up and brush my teeth but your breast can be kicking in the morning and at night is when those germs do their do their hard work get a tongue scraper too um i love my tongue scraper i feel like it really has a way of just like clearing out my mouth fantastic um what else what else i guess you probably just want to hear about me talk about like pussy health um drink your water drink as much water as possible the more water well not as possible you can die but the more water you have the healthier your ph down there is going to be your discharge is going to change throughout the month so if there's like

changes happening but there are changes that you have recognized it probably doesn't mean something bad's happening it probably means you're just changing through your cycle so like your ovulation cycle just your discharge is probably going to be a little bit thicker a little bit sticky almost like um uh like almost like um what's that glue you use in school that's like with the brush it has like the lid with the brush attached to it and you brush it on you know when that dries and it's like a little sticky that stuff it's gonna be like a little thicker a little sticky like almost like an egg white but then like uh post period it might be a little bit thinner um so it does have natural changes but if you notice discoloration or a smell like a bad smell

you will know not just like sweaty a bad smell that's when I would maybe go in and get something checked out could be just like um you know weird switch up in ph could be a yeast infection could be bv all very normal things that can be handled at your doctor um I think the best thing you can do for your for your health as a woman is to find a doctor that you trust um I didn't realize how important that was until I went to a doctor that actually cared about the patient's input and that really changed my mind on a lot of things and she's honestly the only OB that I would ever trust with like my IUD or like if I ever gave birth like I would need this bitch next to me like she is so amazing and all about like giving women the opportunity to speak up for their bodies

like she would not do anything to me I feel like most doctors like all right get up there spread your legs do this do that okay we're done you know especially when you don't really know what's going on but she was very thorough about communicating to me especially since I have a little bit of trauma and I you know was obviously very nervous she communicated to me everything that was going to happen during that appointment she asked me before she did anything she's like is it okay if I do this and if I was like uh sure she was like no like I need a verbal confirmation yes or no and I feel like having that really really solidified how important it is to have a doctor who is on your side um especially especially as a woman um and then when you do have hygiene

issues or like bv or a little yeast infection then you can go see that doctor that you do trust and um it's not so scary to really focus on your health as a woman um make sure you wash make sure you clean you do not need soap down there i don't give a fuck what kind of soap they're trying to sell to you summer's eve blah blah blah hell no soap should not be entering anywhere down there at all you need a warm washcloth you need your hand you need some water that is literally it you can wash your booty hole with some soap that's fine but you do not want to mess with your ph down there um it's if you mess with your ph down there you will know your body will not be happy you'll be a little itchy you'll be a little maybe dry or like really not dry or like there'll

be a smell and you do not need soap down there okay your body is naturally cleaning it out let it do its thing trust in your body all right i keep an extra pair of panties on me i always have an extra pair of panties in my bag just because like sometimes my discharge is a little too much and when you have too much and you sit in it that will throw your uh your ph your balance off as well and it can cause yeast infections or bacterial infections if it's too wet down there I don't wear underwear at night I make sure she has some time to breathe you know what I mean um and during the day yes I always make sure I have an extra pair just in case because you don't want it being consistently moist down there that's when bad bacteria starts working its

way um you want it like fairly dry I mean of course it's an organ it's gonna do its thing but you don't want to be sitting in moistness if that makes any sort of sense um shaving use a new razor every time you don't want a razor sitting there with rust going inside your fucking pussy to shave like hello you don't want that use a new razor every time it'll also make sure that you're not over shaving to get it close enough um when you over shave or go over an area especially around your pussy too much like that's when you get the ingrown hairs that's when you get the you know maybe cysts i don't know how bad it gets depending on how bad your ingrowns can get um make sure you're shaving with the grain not against down there um i try to shave i used to

shave every other day but i felt like that was too much so now i shave once a week i feel like that's pretty good it gives my body time to kind of recover regroup and i get less ingrowns because of that um get an exfoliating mitt if you get really dry skin on your body i feel like dry skin is usually caused by a lack of moisturizer i swear by the hemp's moisturizer it is the absolute best my go-to scent literally i put it on and my boyfriend's like ooh is a sugarcane and papaya it is the absolute best talk about a good gift for christmas and it's probably i feel like it's like 10 bucks it's pretty cheap it's like a jug i've had this moisturizer this lotion for like two years i swear to god um moisturize and exfoliate i feel

like when i'm like itchy or i have dry skin it's because a i'm not moisturized and b there's too much dead skin on my body i'm not getting it off so exfoliate accordingly um bacne is usually caused by a hair conditioner sitting on your back so make sure you like scrub your back post hair conditioner i keep a claw clip in my um in my shower so i can clip my hair up so the conditioner doesn't sit on my back that's a pro tip i just found out um and what else i think that's really it that's all the girly hygiene tips i can possibly give you my last one is if you love to smell good have a signature perfume I think there's just something so amazing about a signature perfume like my grandma always wears the same perfume and it makes me nostalgic my mom always wears the same

perfume and it makes me nostalgic um my boyfriend loves it when I put on my perfume he's like oh we're getting ready we're going out he loves the smell good I love a smell good and I just ran out of mine and it's really emphasizing how important like a signature scent is um so I need to invest in a new perfume very soon but yeah girlies enjoy have fun live life understand that hygiene is important but like when you overemphasize it i feel like that's when it kind of goes wrong your body is a body like you don't need to put soap in your pussy that's fucking crazy you know what i mean let it do its thing when you notice something going wrong that's when you go to a professional and having a professional on your side that advocates for you and fights for you i think is

the best self-care thing any woman could possibly do for themselves someone asked thoughts on breaks in relationships i don't believe in breaks in relationships i don't i simply don't i think it confuses things i think things happen on the breaks that you guys are you know that make the relationship in the future a little bit rockier and i think when people say breaks they think like a couple weeks to like a month or so no no no you don't get a break from the relationship what the fuck are you talking about you either break up okay and move on and maybe two years later you come back together but i think you need to have that that's very clear understanding of where you guys stand and breaks just muddy the water make things way more complicated because

maybe one person is going out and being crazy and sleeping with people and the other person's like i'm gonna let them have their time alone and i'm gonna sit here and wait that is not healthy break i'm just like so flabbergasted right now breaks are not real breaks should not happen i think you either break up or you are all in it and you're willing to work together and like a healthy break a real like breaks that happen in relationships are like i'm going to take a day to myself you know i'm gonna i'm gonna just like go to the store and go run some errands and get like seven hours to myself or whatever it is or like hey i'm having a hard day maybe i'm not gonna come over tonight but i love you i just need a night to myself that's a break okay but i don't

know what these fucking breaks are where it's like yeah like we're broken up but we're still together but we're just taking a month off what the fuck are you talking about that you're broken up that's basically being broken up you might as well just break up focus on yourself have clear boundaries of knowing we are not together we do not owe each other anything right now I am going to self-explore and they are going to self-explore and if the world wants about once us back together eventually then sure we will but I think breaks are way too confusing and you should just break up so then both people are able to look in words and ask themselves what they want and if you guys come back together that's fantastic but a break is basically a breakup that's all it is but it's

just way more confusing so you might as well just break up someone asked how to budget christmas presents the best christmas presents you can get anybody especially on a budget and especially nowadays where like capitalism is overrun and all these companies are sending all their fucking money overseas to support a genocide we don't know who to support we don't know where to spend our money these black friday sales are just simply not good and honestly i don't have the fucking money to spend uh you know what you should do a you make something for somebody or b you do an activity together those are my two favorite types of gifts i would rather get an activity from somebody than like anything else like any sort of physical item um so like maybe you're going to take your

sister on like a um ceramic cafe date and you're gonna go paint something together and hang out for three hours that's your that's your present maybe you know she really loves the aquariums you guys are gonna go to the aquarium and go do that or maybe she really loves this certain movie that's coming out soon so you buy two tickets and you're gonna go see it with her maybe she like literally anything any sort of thing that shows that you are understanding of their interests and you want to support it and do that with them that is the best sort of gift my boyfriend loves glass blowing so i'm planning on getting him like a gift card to go do glass blowing so he has time to actually indulge in his favorite things um maybe it's an item that helps them indulge in their favorite

things your favorite activity but i think activity to get activities together are like the ultimate best a gift card to a restaurant so you guys can go out to eat together you know what I mean um and then making something for them I see people making a lot of homemade jam recently they're just gonna give jars of jam to everybody they know hell yeah I would love to put some jam that somebody made for me on my toast every morning like I love that actually um I've seen people like I just got an airbrush machine I'm thinking about like making airbrush hoodies for everybody I know um making a painting um simply writing out your favorite things about them um anything that you are skilled at that you can share with the people you love i think is a

fantastic gift as well not so costly handmade from the heart you can enjoy it together share in your joys together that's what the holidays are all about oh someone said do you still want to move to california um a part of me knows that if i lived there i would just be like the best version of myself possible but then like the adult side of me is like money also california is like always on fire and there's earthquakes and it's probably gonna go underwater soon and global warming so like my brain is really i don't know when you become like an adult-ish and you have adult-ish money and you're focusing on like finances and like possibly buying a house in your future like what the fuck am i saying right now that's when you really start thinking a little too hard about

things um i'm kind of past the point in life where i would just like randomly sell all my shit and up and move um i'm very much so like i need to think this thing through and really financially plan for it i probably would have done that earlier in my 20s i'm like 24 what am i saying but like 2021 i probably would have done that but now i'm like no i want to buy a house like i would like to have a place to live and i know buying a house in california is just simply not a good idea i'd probably go there and rent for a few years but the houses that i can get here in kansas city with the space and the land and just like the size and the style compared to what i can get in california is just my odds are better here and i honestly love it here um i would maybe move a

little bit northern california my parents really want to move to oregon because that's where all my um mom's family is right now um so maybe i would end up moving there but for right now i'm very happy where i am i've just spent the past four years moving every single year and i don't think you guys realize how crazy moving every year is but i'm really trying to focus on creating like a home for myself and i'm very happy in my little apartment here not little it's actually fucking ginormous um you don't realize that until you got a vacuum a place but i'm pretty happy here and i would like to stay here for at least two years um and since i live here and it's pretty cost effective i am able to travel to california and travel to different places and save money to do

these things whereas if i lived in california that's where i'd be staying i wouldn't be able travel anywhere because rent would be so fucking expensive and cost of living would be so fucking expensive so you know what i don't mind my little midwest home i think it's a a great place to live and i spend a lot of my time hating where i live but now seeing so many people move to kansas city um and enjoying things that i never thought to enjoy i'm really trying to reach out and find the good about this place and there's a lot of good about this place so i've been enjoying it I think I'll probably end up buying a house here just because I can have some land and you know have like a garden have space and I value that more so and then also being able to save money

and travel than living in a place that's really going to kind of like deplete not only my finances but my self-exploration um so do i see moving to california soon on my list of things to do not really but i do see myself visiting there very very very often um i'm actually planning a trip coming up so we'll see we'll see what happens though i'm still out here just getting by we're trying to make it through this recession girls that's what i'm trying to do oh my god i've talked about this one a lot but someone said oh there's a baby squirrel outside my window you know what grandma's really got it right with the whole like watching squirrels outside of the window they they got it right with that one i've been putting like nuts and seeds outside of my window

for the squirrels they'll come up to my window and eat it and there's a baby he's so small he just learned how to um climb a tree and he finally is able to make it up to the little to the little uh the seeds it's so cute anyway someone said um tips on sucking dick a little tmi but girl illy i've talked about this one a lot actually and i think the best way to honestly describe it is so you know those like 4d theaters where it's like you put on the 3d glasses and it's that and then it'll like spray water at you and the seats will move it's like complete immersion experience that's that's what you need to make sucking dick like okay like performance of your life a the best way to really give the best head is to enjoy it you are in control unless you

like the submissive thing where it's like no he's kind of like face fucking me but you know if you like to be submissive in bed but then also like to take control you like to switch it up every once in a while this is when you're in control okay you are the person you're in charge they are just there so have fun with it okay explore a little bit learn what you like learn what they like start slow and then like as much spit as you can possibly muster sometimes I'm like too high obviously and like I get the worst cotton mouth so I'll be like spit in my mouth like I need more saliva like spit in my mouth any way that you can get as much saliva as possible like choking on it a little bit that will get some saliva but like as much saliva as possible I'm talking like dripping

dripping everywhere like there should be a puddle as much saliva as possible make noises like moan talk about how much you love it do you like it yeah you like the way i suck this dick like literally talk to them look them in the eyes um go slow use both hands if possible like if you can't fit a whole dick in your mouth which is like very normal for most people hello um have you used both hands and like focus your mouth on the tip and then use your hands to like stroke that's an easy way to kind of get like a bunch of stimulation and then if you take your thumb like on the base i think that yeah definitely not the top the base there's like that big vein and if you gently rub it i've heard that's crazy i don't know i don't have a dick but i've heard it's crazy but just

like get crazy with it have fun start slow work your way up use a lot of spit moan like literally i feel like you weren't like sucking it but also it's like kind of because you want to make like that slobbering noise ew i know you lick the balls get down lower if you'd like like literally have fun with it enjoy you're in control it's a 4d experience love you have fun someone said how to get through this winter slump i feel you all i feel like the winter slump is mostly caused by you know it's cold and chilly out and all the usual things that we're used to doing during the spring and summer or look forward to kind of go out the fucking window especially the small things and the winter slump is caused by kind of lack of interest or effort in like your life

all around because the winter kind of puts a dampen in our mood the early nights could have kind of put a dampen in our mood and I feel like that's a very normal thing but here's how I am really managing my winter slump a I don't don't get rid of those things in your daily life um that really truly bring you joy you probably don't realize they are until you stop doing them and then you don't feel like yourself so like it's easier to put on an outfit get ready in the spring and the summer because you're gonna go outside you're gonna do something fun you know what I mean and it's harder in the winter because you're like what the fuck do I wear it's cold I gotta put on a big coat that doesn't mean you shouldn't get up and get ready and get dressed I feel like a good outfit

is really powerful whether I'm lounging around the house whether I am going outside somewhere and me trying to be really intentional about my outfits and getting ready recently has made me a little bit more excited about the world around me whether it's like a cute pj set to lounge around in my house rather than the big oversized t-shirt we can save those for the summer um or like a cute sweatsuit to lounge around the house or run errands in yoga pants matching yoga pants set um or like a cute outfit for like a date night um yeah it's cold let's get a thick pair of tights on under that mini dress you know what I mean but not utilizing the cold as an excuse to wear hoodies and sweatpants all the time that's okay of course I'm not shitting on that but I do feel

like when you find yourself consistently doing that you feel a little less yourself especially when you find magic in the way that you express yourself keep expressing yourself winter doesn't have to stop that um a daily routine during this time is very very very important having something that gets you excited to wake up in the morning is very important setting alarms to wake up earlier very important especially with the sun setting later um my cup of coffee in the morning is like my favorite thing ever getting up making my espresso with my brown sugar with my oat milk shaking it up in my little mason jar and enjoying that for like 30 minutes 45 minutes while scrolling on my phone is like the best thing ever in the morning and making sure I have enough time to

do that is very important in my daily routine making sure I have a lunch to look forward to I usually like one lunch for like the whole week um just because it's easy something that I don't really have to think about I know I enjoy and I'll eat it making sure you're fed you're hydrated also I think we underestimate the um power of like home-cooked meals especially during the winter when you're stuck inside having like a soup that takes two and a half hours to make and a ton of time is like the perfect time to make it okay during the winter when you have an abundance of time at night all right make a hearty home-cooked meal share it with your friends invite your friends over um dinner parties are always so fun uh slumber parties are always so fun with

your friends invite them over have a little girls night or whatever um and then also like the outside world isn't so bad you have to get outside and do things they're probably going to be indoor things but they're things nonetheless so get outside enjoy life plan little dates little activities look at events going on around your city i promise there's something i used to be like oh i'm in kansas city there's nothing going on that's simply because i wasn't looking go to your local coffee shops look at their bulletin boards see what they have flyers up for go to like a live drawing class go to a pole class go to a workout class um uh sign up for like a pottery class for a month at your local pottery studio um sign up for something i don't know literally anything go volunteer if

you have literally nothing else to do uh give back to the community um go out and explore and see what there is around your city i promise there is something and also it gives you an excuse to kind of like reach out to people in your life that maybe you haven't talked to in a while um friends that you want to reconnect with or friends that you have kind of you know life's caught up with you guys and you haven't talked in a second be like hey i really want to do this thing when are you free you know what i mean um do with your parents you know get in your car go drive around look at the look at the um christmas lights you have to find joy in the mundane and that's why i'm like you know what i think i would have a time hard time in california because

everything is so good and i feel like having a little bit of trial and tribulation is good for the soul forcing you to seek the good the positive even when it feels a little bit harder um i feel like it really makes for a well-rounded person and you know what i'm doing good this winter so far i am trying to be proactive rather than retroactive and understand like where i've gone wrong in the past and usually my self-isolation is where i go wrong so taking time to enjoy the little things to seek light in the darkness especially this early fucking darkness making good meals sharing it with friends reaching out during this time um and exploring the city around me has really really helped me i love you we will get through this winter doesn't have to be so hard

i feel like once winter is not so much just like barrenness and more so like snowy cutesy you know what i mean that's when it gets a little bit easier but we got a few more months till that comes that's for sure it's still like 40 50 here you know like it's not cold cold yet but i welcome the snow as long as i don't have to fucking drive in it i welcome the snow it will make life a little bit more beautiful and a little bit more of like an oasis um and before we know it it's gonna we're gonna blink and it's gonna be spring again so just survive do your best and seek joy during this time someone asked how to enjoy working at a place you hate especially co-workers a i think you need to start looking for different places um new job maybe it's the same thing that

you do maybe you do like it tech so you're looking at a new company maybe your servers you're looking at a new restaurant you know same genre different place i think a you need to start looking at different places and weighing your options and creating your resume um I think a bad work environment literally kills people and succumbing yourself to that for too long will like actually mentally and physically kill you um and I don't think that's healthy and you do have the opportunity and ability to change and seek out new even if it is just like a new place new co-workers I think changing that up is very important and then starting the ability to seek a new place will give you hope for the future and make your time there a little bit easier because you know it's

not forever um put your headphones in try avoid your co-workers if possible don't take work too seriously like as soon as you clock out girl you are not supposed to think about that job i pinky promise you it is okay to not think about it when you clock out you don't have to do your job clock out move on with your life but I do think a bad work environment and I'm very lucky to have had some really really good work environments but I have had one bad one where it was just like so mentally and physically exhausting and draining and I wish I would have just sought out a new place um I did have to it was like a I worked at a daycare and I did have to just like finish it before I went to college but knowing that I had something new coming up and a new change or

something to work forward to um really really helped me get through it so I dare you to seek out new also like if you can't girl you don't have to interact with your co-workers be nice be kind you know don't start drama don't make it worse for you but you don't really owe them anything you don't have to show up to those co-worker parties you don't have to like text in the group chat or whatever's happening um turn your phone on do not disturb get your work done get your money clock out babe all right someone asked how soon after the breakup is it acceptable to start talking to other guys depending on when you mentally checked out of the relationship then you know i think it can differ um if you mentally checked out the relationship like a

year before you broke up i think it's okay to start talking and interacting with other people um soon but also i genuinely think after a breakup um taking time to yourself and discovering who you are for like three four five six months is very very important because a lot of women have a habit of jumping relationship to relationship especially when you find um like self-worth in relationships and being loved by somebody else means you are loved that's just not how it is but sometimes it's how you see it and taking time to really appreciate yourself as a lone person and rediscovering what you like and what you require from relationships is key to finding a real healthy relationship but if you want to go out and get flirty every once in a while and go out to a bar

and flirt with guys then sure like you're single go live it up but i don't think you should jump right into seeking a relationship i think that's when you become a serial dater because you can't be alone and that's unhealthy so enjoy single life you know what i mean enjoy having a flirty flirt here and there you know but don't get tied down too quickly don't jump relationship to relationship too quickly you need to discover who you are as an independent person that is the key to your 20s um and i don't think you can really pick out a good relationship for yourself if you don't simply know what you want so take time to know what you want first someone said they're turning 24 but they still feel like their 19 year old self I heard someone else talking about this

and like how the pandemic has really warped how we view our age because like we lost like three years you know what I mean especially if you were like a teen to early adult like those three years are very formative years where you are discovering yourself you're trying new things you know what I mean and losing out on that time and that experience kind of keeps you at that age I think like if you start if you were 19 when the pandemic started like you're gonna still feel 19 when it stops you know what I mean even though you're still working through the motions you're getting your school work done all the socialization and activity that it takes for you to feel like you've really aged or like been through a full year didn't really happen so if you were feeling like

way younger not like too young but like younger than you are turning I feel like it's a very normal feeling right now um and don't feel freaked out by it I think a lot of us are dealing with it like I'm turning 25 in June and I'm like what do you mean what do you mean I feel 22 you know um I think it's something we're all kind of dealing with so don't worry too much about it lean into the curiosity that your 19 year old self had lean into the inquisitiveness the um want and the need to explore and discover new things about yourself especially since we missed out on that time I think it's very important to take the opportunity that we do have now that we are out of lockdown can you believe that happened only like three years ago or not even three years ago but can you believe

that happen holy shit it that was such a crazy time and I know like my kids in the future will be asking me like so what was that like because best believe it's going to be in the history books um but lean into like the years that you did miss and what you wanted to do and what you were desiring to do like now is the time to do it no matter your age like your age really doesn't matter um what matters is you're going after what you desire and what you look forward to and making the most out of life you know what I mean um but also I kind of feel like when I turn like 80 I'll still feel 19 in a sort of sense um every day I wake up and I look in the mirror and I see all of my past selves and I blow them a little kiss I carry them with me I've learned

so much through them and I really appreciate all of my past selves for doing the best they can and all I can do every single day is just move forward into my future self and who I want to be and create that life for myself so that being said I think that's the end of our podcast you guys I have had a blast with you today it's been a fun little chilly Tuesday I've got to go out and run some errands oh I gotta go to Sephora which I know is gonna be fucking crazy especially with like Thanksgiving coming up and everybody being off work so I have to go brave that get some new concealer because I just ran out and run by the post office do my little tasks for the day so then I can officially check out and chill for the rest of the night which I'm very excited about

probably gonna smoke some weed order in some like tacos or some sushi watch my favorite movie maybe do my toenails they're looking a little crazy I put red polish on like six months ago and now there's just like a little sliver of nail polish so I need to redo those and have a little TLC night maybe indulge in a little salt scrub sugar scrub ritual but I love you all I hope you have a fantastic rest of your day thank you for being you and being here and being not only so supportive of me but supportive of yourself I don't think you guys understand that simply like if I don't get to your question I'm so sorry there's a lot of them every week but simply the act of submitting a question or like submitting your curiosity and

what you want to know about is an act of like tapping into yourself and tapping into what is truly on your mind especially because you can only submit a couple so like think back on what your question was and see if you can answer it for yourself even if I didn't answer it today or I haven't answered in the past you have the knowledge and the insight inside of you ask yourself dive deep enjoy your time with yourself and the discovery of yourself life is so beautiful and there's so many opportunities around us and as long as we stay true to ourselves and we really try and connect and learn about ourselves then the world really opens up to us so I love you all I hope you survive the holidays okay I know they can be tricky I know they can be a little

hard and confusing don't make it too hard on yourself understand it's just a day you got to get through eat some good fucking food sleep good give your grandma a hug and move on with the rest of your day I will see you all next Tuesday Thank you.