Smoke Sesh - discovering yourself & finding happiness

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

happy tuesdayyyyy hotties happy to have you back for another amazing episode of the podcast! I fill you in on some self sabotaging and what I’ve been up to in my life, we talk looking forward, raves, current go to affirmations, holding grudges & trusting in karma, how to feel independent at your parents house, right person wrong time & how to grow, breaking the std stigma, lizard girl summer, Cannabolish, how to get in the zone, ovulation and learning the menstrual phases will save your life, spicing up the relationship, go to munchies, negative people, how to hang with friends as an adult, how to make time for things in chaos, body dysmorphia and how to combat it, finding happiness in life, there’s no right way to heal, not lost just discovering and managing your early 20’s, vibrators, when your roommate makes bad art and much much much much more, today was a fun uplifting pod I hope you all find so much peace and happiness in your life as you are all so deserving of it

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Hello hotties of the world! so excited to be with you guys on this beautiful tuesday morning um hopping on here to do my patriotic duty of course of bringing you the most fun the best questions a little laugh a little joy

possibly a little hope a little inspiration you know what i do i'm so excited to be here with you guys again especially because i feel like last episode i was a little low energy i was a little low, kind of everything. When I'm that way, it is difficult to get on here and to, you know, be my usual preppy, excited, happy self. But I do think it's just in general a really good practice and translates over to like a good everyday practice of, you know, even if you aren't feeling the best, you know, aren't motivated, aren't completely there, whatever it may be, to still show up for yourself throughout it all you know so of course I wanted to show up be here for you guys be here for myself through it you know have a little distraction have a little hangout sesh

what is better than that especially when you're feeling a little low then getting together with the girls and the gays and having a little laugh sharing a little joint you know there's really nothing better than that so I'm really excited to be back with you guys today I feel like when and i have a really bad habit of this but i have a bad habit of like deserting myself and losing myself in things um it is like my number one self-sabotaging method and it's crazy because like what am i running away from you know like why do i keep running away from myself because i'm so amazing and brilliant and beautiful and hot and incredibly smart come on we gotta do some uplifting here, you know? But it's like, why do I keep having this same habit? And it's something

I've been trying to unpack throughout the years. But the number one thing that you can really do, especially if you find yourself kind of like self-sabotaging or running away from what you know is good or important, or maybe even running away from yourself, is to, when you get that feeling you kind of just have to fight it and you really have to just keep moving down the path of what you know is best for you and keep enacting in that way reach out talk to people open your mind and your space up um stop confining it to just you and putting so much pressure on just you and where you are open it up talk to people talk to people you've never met go to a coffee shop and chit chat with the person in front of you in line you know go to the local

deli you've been meaning to go to and talk to the owner who I guarantee has owned it for like 25 plus years it's the little things like that that really bring me back to the full circle moment of oh my god why do I keep doing this why am I running away from myself life is all about choices life is all about fun and picking what is best for you and showing up for yourself because no one else is going to be able to do that for you but you um so it is an active choice every day and sometimes sometimes it's the easy choice sometimes you know when you're riding that high you're feeling good it is the easy choice but sometimes especially for me it is kind of the harder choice in a sense which is shocking because it's like i'm so cool and i love myself

but also like why do I keep having the same behavior something we'll figure out together I'm sure we'll figure it out by the end of this podcast but wanted to do a little update with you guys uh last night oh my god they were shooting off fireworks right in front of my apartment and I was like my entire place is gonna catch on fire this is insane but also shout out because they spent so much money on fireworks last night like the the big ones that take over the sky like the 20 foot 100 feet fucking fireworks they were shooting off like right in front of my apartment so it was like a free little show which was super exciting went uh did some thrifting and got some coffee with my boyfriend this morning been hanging out around the apartment trying to

slowly keep unpacking and decorating um i'm gonna make some jello shots this afternoon for the rest of the day and then i think we're gonna have like a little cookout for the evening eat some hot dogs some mac and cheese you know all american favorites and then we are going to go to like the local skate park or whatever because it has the perfect view of all of downtown so you can really see everybody shooting off all their fireworks all at once it's like a beautiful unifying moment of like we are humans and we like to look at pretty fun things and celebrate no matter what it is like i don't really care about the fourth but i love a good firework you know um so it's a beautiful moment of just seeing kind of everybody come together

and get outside and just be with each other and i find that feeling so motivating and so empowering so i'm really trying to lean into it all not necessarily the usa pride more so the i enjoy living life energy you know especially that potent energy that's like sources from summer um it's really really nice to just dive in get outside hang out with some friends eat some good food smoke some good weed what's better than that i might crack open a drink here at some point too we'll see listen it's fourth of july and i've never drank on this podcast so i'm like it's literally 11 30 like i cannot but maybe maybe we'll see how i feel anyways that was my little spiel for the morning i hope if any of you guys feel

lost like me or a little confused or maybe you're falling into some self-sabotaging behaviors this can kind of wake you up and snap out of it and realize you know we really do have so many choices in this life whether we feel like it or not and fortunately or unfortunately depending how you look on it those choices will always be made by you no one else will be able to come into your life to make those choices for you to figure out the perfect thing you will never be able to figure out the perfect thing you just have to actively make choices and learn from them whether good or bad and keep moving forward and keep pushing forward and I guarantee as long as you do that you will be destined for greatness no matter what so I love you thank you for being

here thank you for sharing yourself with me and with that being said listen let's dive into all of your most important questions because you guys have so many to talk about today my boyfriend was here earlier and of course like we're planning on sharing this space so he's like what are you gonna do on the days because when i record this podcast i like to be alone like i like to be alone in my vibe smoking a little bit a little caffeinated up what's better than that that's the ultimate combo for any sort of creative endeavor is caffeine and weed but he's like what are you gonna do when like i'm here and you want to record a podcast and i was really stumped i was like i don't want to hurt your feelings by being like you can't be here because like i don't care if

you listen to this podcast like go for it i think he did and then he realized like it's oh just like girl chat like i don't want to hear you talk about your exes like you do your thing babe but i'm like i don't know because i do like being alone and i like having the space and really like tapping into the into the sesh energy and into the me and some girlies are hanging out right now and we just need to chit chat and sometimes that needs to be done alone in private also it feels like a therapy session all in one so it's like i don't know i might just be sending him off to run errands when i do this or i might have to find a podcasting studio one of the two speaking of which i am planning on releasing video episodes to this now that i have kind of like a setup going on here in

my apartment like a cute little let's hang out seating area set up a nice good vibe for us um so i am planning on having those come out at least by the end of the summer i'm figuring out some technical issues um especially with like just my computer so once i have those figured out boom easy peasy i'm also going to arizona this weekend if you guys have any recommendations please let me know you know where to find me instagram is hannah marlene um and also if you want to see vlog from that i'm going to celebrate my friend's birthday so i'm sure it's going to be chaotic and fun i will be posting that on my patreon shout out to all my patreon girlies so happy to have you um but yeah that's really all i have coming up oh and one last thing i am going to breakaway

festival in kansas city in two weekends if you want to come out and party with me it is a big rave festival i am so fucking excited to be getting out and getting hot and sweaty and getting down with my girls and having a fucking blast so of course there'll be a vlog from that but also if you just want to come hang out see me party with me come to breakaway you are going to have so much fun i will be there friday and saturday and because i love you so much you can use code smoke says shoddy for 10 off your tickets so love you come party let's have fun anyways someone asked bessie do you have any affirmations that you say and yes actually every week on the patreon i come up with like five new affirmations to really just encompass um the energy

of the week so let me read you uh a few um because they're really fun and they're always accompanied by like an image of some sort but one of them is everything could be so easy you're deserving of everything you've ever dreamed but do you want it a reminder to say no or maybe yes i attract endless positivity into my life freedom will always be found within yourself um there's always so much to love don't forget to connect today pretty and protected i romanticize everything because i am made of nothing but love my future is bright like the sun and warm like a good hug um let's see find some more i think we should all learn a little bit oh i think we should all learn from cats a little bit more and people a little bit less sweet tenderness is the feeling you

should be aiming for a woman's best investment is herself and the company she keeps around her I am living in connection to the world around me maybe one day but not today and that's okay some fun ones I like keeping it simple and funky and fresh on there but I like to do this practice myself and this is a practice that you can do with yourself but every Monday which is the day I kind of have some downtime maybe it's Sunday maybe it's Friday whatever your day is kind of are the easiest for you or your weekly reset days. Oh my god, brain just did a full reboot there. Come up with like three to five affirmations that you can use throughout the week or you feel like are the vibe for the week or what you feel like can keep you moving forward. And the way that I

come up with these is I get on Tumblr and I put on some good music and I scroll or I get like an old vintage magazine that I've collected here and I flip through it and I play like a like a inspiring I don't know something and then like a TED talk maybe and then I or put on good music or I pick up a book that I find inspiring something that you are able to creatively feed off of and like curate in a sense that's what I use to then find hope and joy and inspiration from and then the hope and joy and inspiration that i find from those i translate into words and then those become my affirmations but very simple practice you can do with yourself every week or feel free to join us every week on the patreon um i come up with five for us every week to share

in but i love you oh someone asked how to let go of grudges this is a good question because i girl i am the kind of person or at least i used to be i feel like this is something i've definitely grown past um it's definitely something when you're younger and more full of rage it's easier to do just like hold on to things until your knuckles are turning fucking white um and then you realize as you get older that karma will really do her thing and you don't need to worry about anything other than yourself and uplifting yourself so when it comes to grudges the only thing i can tell you is yeah they probably did you really fucking dirty and i'm sorry and i love you but that has kind of nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves and low worth

within themselves and seeking validation within themselves and you know they have so many problems going on inside them that it is then translating through their body outward and you're getting caught up in their web so don't stay caught up in your web in their web longer than you need to as soon as you realize like hey they're kind of fucked up and they're starting to make my life fucked up that's when you need to be like cut ties move away seek peace because if you stay caught up with them and holding anger towards them and holding resentment towards them that is you lowering yourself to kind of their level and staying caught up in their mess and you don't need to be caught up in anyone's mess but yourself so release remove yourself from the equation i

think distance and time are two things that honestly can fix anything um especially like interpersonal relationships that have gone bad um so distance time forgive yourself you probably won't find forgiveness within them so forgive yourself and tell yourself that you probably didn't deserve that and then the last thing the last bread come that really puts like a cherry on top of the grudge sunday you um is that karma will really do its thing i know you want to get out there and hurt them worse or succumb to their level or whatever it may be you know what's the old saying hurt people hurt people or whatever um oh my god the thing is karma will really do her thing the universe will catch up to that person and will equal the playing field in due

time you have to trust and believe in that because the worst thing that you are going to do to them is only one tenth of what the universe is actually going to do to them because they know the universe knows where it hurts the universe knows where you truly are empty where those biggest insecurities are something that a human could never ever possibly guess so you have to trust in her and understand that the universe is moving accordingly and if you interfere with that not great not great for you not great for the other person so just focus on you the best revenge is really becoming a better version of yourself and letting the universe take care of the rest okay I love you someone asked how do I feel independent while living at home with my

parents for the summer great question I was never inside the house yeah and then COVID came around they're like you have to be inside always and then I moved out so I was literally never inside like constantly running about if i wasn't at work i was out at drinks with co-workers and then i was back home when they were asleep if i you know had the day off i was out at the park and then i was going to the pool and i was hanging out with this friend for dinner and then maybe i went home to you know see my parents for a little bit the one thing is now that i don't with my live with my parents like i understand how batshit fucking crazy you go insane at your parents and i hear you and i understand you because they are still kind of looking at you and it's hard for them not

to to look at you as like a six-year-old because that's how they'll forever look at you because they're you're their child um so they're kind of like reverting back to that like parental instincts of taking care of you like a six-year-old but also you're like an independent human and you're like this is really overbearing and i don't want to be around you so the thing is i think it's important to take time to yourself yes whether it's just time for to yourself in your room like hey I'm doing some art and playing music I'm gonna be in here you know you can knock on my door and talk to me whatever it may be but also I really really regret not taking the time to you know watch that movie with my parents or to you know have dinner with them because I know it broke

their heart by me constantly running out and doing stuff I mean they weren't gonna tell me that of course they want to let me be a free independent person but I know they wish that I had just spent a little bit of time with them and I wish I would have taken advantage of that time that I did have when I was there so it's a it's a delicate balance because it's like I know you want to run out and have your freedom and I do encourage you to do so absolutely but also that spare time when your parent is I mean if you enjoy your parent like if they are good people and you know it is coming from a pure place even though it is sometimes the road to the pureness is a little tricky um you know every time they try and invite you or offer you something to do with them

take advantage of that you know if your parents are good people and you do enjoy them they're just a little overbearing and their parents in general so they're gonna be that way take that opportunity to spend time with them because there is gonna come a moment and a point where you don't get that anymore or you're moved into a different state and all of a sudden you're 25 and you're like oh I miss my mom you know so take advantage while you do have it even though it is driving you insane when it is driving you insane be like I love you but peace I gotta get out of here for just a little bit that is kind of the best way to be independent under your parents roof is to give them you know the quality time they do want just a little bit of it while also

giving yourself the quality time that you do need and getting out of the house and being with friends and socializing and living your best life it's a delicate balance that is honestly the best way to not go insane love you hi Hannah um I was wondering if you believe in right person wrong time um I've been talking to someone since January and I feel like very in love and like connected to this person um the connection that I feel is like insane um I've never felt this type of connection before like twin flame type shit um I think that this person was made for me um but they are dealing with some mental health issues right now unfortunately and they're just like not emotionally available for a relationship and I'm like cool um just being in their life right now

as a friend um and I'm just like grateful that I have them as a friend but part of me is also like should I be waiting for them when like I don't know maybe there's something else out there but also like I've never when I yeah I've never felt something like this so I don't know love you right person wrong time real thing my girl yeah like whether you haven't even started a relationship with them or you've been in a relationship for five years sometimes people are not on the same growth pattern and that is a million percent okay you just have to always choose what is the best path to keep you moving forward and if they can't move forward with you and they are still working on themselves that's okay maybe they need to just focus on that and you need to focus on yourself

um now if you were in like a full long-term relationship i would say maybe that means you guys need to split up and grow separately and then maybe you can grow together in the future once you have experienced more time alone um but since you have never been in a relationship with this person such as like of course you like have a relationship as in you know them and you spend time with them and you enjoy spending time with them but it's not like a long-term thing so i say it is the best choice for you especially where it's like I really enjoy spending time with this person but I don't think they can fully be there for me and I don't think they can grow on the same path as me or are growing on the same path as me the best thing you can do is hear that listen to

that and then allow them to do their thing allow you to do your thing but you're not waiting okay you understand this relationship can't happen um but you aren't like saving yourself for it or like you're not only around them because you're waiting for them to see the potential in you and see the potential in them no it's okay to be around a person and be like i enjoy spending time with them maybe what i thought was gonna happen didn't happen that's okay um distance yourself a little bit of course because you need to heal um from the relationship that didn't happen and that isn't going to happen that's all right but if you find yourself waiting for them maybe you don't need to be in their life and maybe you need to focus on you and circle back to when you can have an actual

friendship with this person um but i think the best thing for people who are kind of in like wrong person or right person wrong time best thing that you can do for yourself is really just distance and growth growth interpersonally allow them their space to focus on themselves do better within themselves and allow yourself self-space to focus on yourself and do better within yourself because you'd be surprised like what alternative alternative path that life takes you down that is equally just as good um and what new people you find yourself interested in um but yeah right person wrong time is very real it is sometimes you know the puzzle pieces just don't fit and that's okay doesn't mean either of you guys did anything wrong it just means this isn't

the right path to go down to and i need to switch directions a little bit doesn't mean you have to cut them off and be mean to them and never speak to them again no it just means maybe i need to focus more on me and what's good for me so i love you you'll figure it out stis lol can we please stop the shame surrounding them oh love you i love you yeah no i feel like the only sex ed the usa gives people is like you're gonna sit down and look at crazy pictures of people's like genitals just getting eaten not eaten literally but like taken over by different stis for 30 minutes and then we're never gonna talk to you about sex ever again you're just gonna have that which made a ton of people afraid of st stds and stis wait stds stis yeah yeah same things um i was like are they

different no no the same thing but they never taught safe sex so it's like everybody's terrified there's a weird stigma around like stis but like no one's having safe sex so i'm like it's a confusing situation anyways i'm just here to tell you it's not that deep you get a pill you take the pill your life's better very simple love it i mean with the most with the simplest stds which are the ones that are probably most frequently caught you know you take a little pilly you're all good move on and then then you learn to like have that talk with your partner which i think is a very very important talk and something that like you should be having before sex and no it's not weird and if they find it weird then they're probably a fucking weirdo and you shouldn't have sex with

them but the talk is asking them hey when's the last time you've been tested have you asked them on that and they're like weirded out by that question that's a red flag babe that means they've probably been running around dick out raw dogging not only everybody else within their life but also life itself and that's probably not the kind of dick you want inside you or the type of personality you want around you so red flag move on let's not have sex with that person but if you know you bring it up like hey when's the last time you had an std check sti screening and they have like a mature like oh you know thank you for asking uh i have had one recently or maybe i haven't thank you for bringing up maybe i should have one um like a mature response such as that

then that means they're a mature fucking person and oh honestly like mature dick 10 out of 10 that's what you want okay you need someone who can take sex seriously because that means the likelihood of you like actually coming is way higher way higher so yeah i don't know why i mean i do know why there's a huge stigma because of like the sex education in the u.s but also it's like you don't realize how common it is until you get into like the dating scene and just like the casual sex scene it happens don't freak out don't lose your mind you'll be okay i remember having to make a phone call for my friend when we were younger it's a bland parenthood and being like here's her symptoms she was too afraid i was like so here's her symptoms uh what do we do and

they were like yeah you're gonna need to get an ASAP um and after that I've just seen like STDs STIs is like really nothing um you just literally take a pill and it's you're good to go but also like make sure you get tested preferably you know after every sexual partner um if you are kind of like raw dog in it and yeah have that conversation with your partner love you someone said chill girl summer real I feel like I'm not having a chill girl summer actually you know what I am I've been moving and grooving and like catching flights and having a lot of fun for sure but the energy that i am in company encompassing this summer is lizard laying on rock and sun that that is the energy i am really tapping into like i just want to lay near a body of water with my titties out

preferably joint in hand and just lay into the sun oh lay in the sun until i'm just like a burnt crisp that is really all i'm trying to do and i cannot wait for this weekend when i'm in arizona to just be laying by the pool no thoughts like the sun is soaking up my thoughts actually and i'm just sweating and having a good time because there is no better healing energy than the potent rays of sunlight no better healing energy if you feel down literally just go like lay in the sun for 20 minutes you will stand up you'll be a little lightheaded and then you'll be like whoa maybe life is worth living love the sun anyways okay as you guys know i smoke in my apartment which i couldn't do my last one which really shook my whole world up i smoked one bowl

immediately got like 10 targeted emails being like did you know there's no smoking oh my god did you know there's no smoking in this building like yes bitch but i just really wanted a bowl i'm so sorry but now in this new place it's so fucking big that it's like yeah i'm gonna smoke inside i'm gonna open the doors but also like i'm a little older now and i'm like i don't want everything reeking like marijuana so like how the fuck do i cover it up like how do i make sure i'm still a good neighbor while also like not smelling like weed all the fucking time and i've tried like you know candles bath and body works candles bath and body works body spray you know anything i possibly could but then i found this company that has been life-changing they're called cannibalish

and they create like room sprays personal size sprays and then candles that are all natural and scented with um essential oils that literally it feels like it sucks the smoke out of the room like completely just removes it and it is incredible they have like a regular scented one which is like almost eucalyptusy and then the lavender one these room sprays i will smoke a bowl and then i'll spray the room let me tell you this it just smells like lavender it is wild how well these work go check it out i found it on urban outfitters i was like you know what we'll try it because sometimes you know the marijuana sprays they don't always cover shit up but these have been working so well and i was like i know my girlies would love this yeah odor removing candle

removes cannabis smoke odor is using natural active ingredients slay check them out oh someone asked how to get in the zone this is a good question i also think it's very dependent on like what you're doing whether it's creative or maybe you need to do some work or maybe i don't know maybe you're running a marathon like it could be anything but there is like still that zone of accomplishment that you enter no matter the activity that you're doing that kind of is like it's otherworldly in a sense and I feel like it comes from two places first of all you have to create the right environment for your mind for whatever the situation may be and then you also have to create the right external environment for you to get that stuff done so say like I needed

to sit here at home and work whether it's like social media work or homework whatever it may be i have to like i'm crazy but i have to like clean things a little bit first have a comfortable place to sit i have to like set the mood make sure you know everything around me is in accordance so i'm not looking around me constantly and like freaking out over oh my god i need to do this oh my god i need to go clean that or oh my god i need to throw that away whatever it may be you have to make sure the environment around you is good. Maybe it's, I'm going to play some music. Maybe it's, I'm going to set up some mood lighting. I'm going to open my windows so I have a fresh breeze. You have to create the right external environment that works for you in the situation that, you know, you're

doing. Maybe it's, once again, like running a marathon, you have to make sure you have the right shoes, comfortable clothes, enough water in your system, and then you have to create the right internal environment which is maybe where the water comes in for any any experience make sure you're drinking water but you know make sure that your mind is ready to go make sure you have enough water for your brain to function maybe you need a little bit of caffeine maybe you are getting into a creative energy so you can smoke a little bit you know enjoy that um but it is like i feel like the zone is a perfect eclipse of the right external environment and the right internal environment for you to kind of escape this world and enter a new one of getting whatever you need

to get done and it's beautiful but yeah you just got to figure out what the right vibe for you is make sure you have it and allow yourself to kind of release let go and enter that space love you oh that was me just casually pouring out some water wink wink um hi hannah i love hearing your little rips little bong rips so i figured i should add one um i'm scared that this is not gonna send because the past couple voice notes i've been doing they just fucking like i don't know the website just makes it difficult but um i just added some lavender to my bowl i just wanted to send some cute little positivity to you and also maybe the next podcast who knows um but specifically to you hannah i love you so much we all love you so much

you keep my head on straight you've helped my sense of self so much oh my god i'm running out time okay um i'm gonna take a hit for everyone love you guys this goes out to all my hotties a little mid-episode bowl for you all so yummy i always ask what the vibe is and someone said literally just horny shout out to all my girls ovulating right now real real I become a monster when I'm ovulating like a crazy monster like insane it's wild pro tip for all my girlies out there learn about your you know the phases of our cycles and follow what phase you're in it will make a lot of things in your life make a lot more sense because i will fall or i used to before i tracked the stuff i'd be like oh my god why am i

so depressed and so sad and everything is making me crying and what's going on like is it me am i going insane and then it's like the next day i start my period it's like oh okay um wish i would have known that and that the craziness was kind of justified because my body's getting prepared um great now i gotta deal with my period and the residuals of that but guess what if your plan's ahead then the crazy like emotional switches and the crazy kind of like hormone fluctuations and random feelings that you're feeling stop seeming so random and start making a lot more sense and it's a lot easier for you to kind of navigate the world when you're also in tune with your body I feel like we as women are kind of trained and taught to

I don't know not only like be hyper focused on it but hyper focused in a sense that we don't focus on it whatsoever at all like we don't want to but it is important and it is really helpful when it comes to your everyday life and understanding where you are mentally and how to navigate it but yeah ovulation season crazy it's crazy how my brain just flips a switch and is like you need to get pregnant right now and i'm like no no no that really is not what i need but then it's like a internal fight me versus my brain but yeah track your track your period track your the phases maybe i'll do like a whole write-up on patreon of all the different phases and kind of how they might make you feel but also i think it's very important to let you

know that everybody kind of feels different throughout it so as you're tracking it you know write down how you're feeling on that day or how you're feeling during that week um and then you can kind of look back at the past months and see if there's any correlations so then you know how to plan and prepare for what to expect next love you someone asked how do i keep the zaza zoo in my relationship with my boyfriend sometimes I get bored very fair I would like to mention boredom is healthy boredom is very healthy because the relationships that I kind of haven't been bored in were the ones that were just so insanely toxic that I had no time to be bored because my fight or flight instincts were kicking every single moment of every single day

okay it's okay to be a little bored in your relationship that means it's normal it's healthy you have your routines you kind of are comfortable with each other love that but also it's not good to get too bored because that means you're kind of you're not expanding and your relationship isn't expanding so sometimes you have to sit down with your partner and do some planning I think the best thing that every couple can do is to continue showing up in the relationship like they did the first day they met with the same enthusiasm as the first day they met as in I want to take them out and show them my favorite places I want to spoil them I want to make them feel loved I want to cook them their favorite meal I want to cook them my favorite meal you know like the little

things that provide provided you inspiration and you know you wanted to share with them at the beginning continue doing that and sometimes you know you fall into your routines you get a little bored and that's a great time for you to remember that lesson of oh my gosh i need to be showing up like i did the first day i ever met this person and then you can bring that up with your partner hey let's plan some date nights maybe you plan one at home date night and then they plan one going out date night and you have two date nights throughout the month one at home one going out that one person is in charge of each time and then you can switch it every month so then you have at least something to look forward to something fun to do I think planning vacations

or planning new exciting things to lead up to with your partner is a great way to keep the spark alive to keep having fun to continue doing your favorite things and going out to your favorite places and sharing in the things that bring you joy and inspiration i feel like that is also very important to do but it's an active choice of realizing like hey okay you know like i'm very comfortable with you and i love that but i am a little bored and i would love to you know spice it up a little bit how can we do this also fantastic way is always sex okay love some freak nasty let's spend three hours fucking kind of sex well like not three hours like we're gonna take a little break here and there but like we're just gonna spend all day in bed fantastic way of bonding

with your partner being intimate with your partner um you know sharing yourself your each other with your partner fantastic way to spice it up bring in new things new toys shit new people if you're into that i'm sure a lot of you are crazy like me and are not into that but if you are hey teach their own um but yeah i feel like all of those are really great ways of you know keeping the zaza zoo okay and once again boredom boredom is healthy boredom to an extent is healthy like if you're comfortable bored that's healthy you don't need to do anything fucking crazy maybe you guys just need to plan separate date nights every once in a while maybe he needs to cook you dinner every once in a while maybe you need to plan a fun date for you guys to do i don't know you know

be spontaneous have some fun that's what life is all about okay get crazy go get burgers and have sex in the car like i don't know someone asked what's the best dab pen to get and favorite snack any dab pen from a dispensary pretty good as long as it's coming from a dispensary and not your local man on the street okay because that shit's probably cut with something you don't want that you want something from a dispensary anything any cart you get from a dispensary it's gonna be fairly good me personally if it has a fruity fruity something in the name i'm buying it because i know that shit's gonna be so good i have this theory that weed is either peppery and earthy like you can tell like this shit came from the ground or it's like fruity and fun and light

and I'm a more fruity and fun and light girly you can usually tell that they're gonna be that way based on the name like the names are very specific to what they're gonna taste like and yeah any fruity fun cart fantastic favorite high snack either one of two combinations if it's during the day i'm getting some sort of gummy so like gummy bears sour gummy worms oh my favorite twin snakes the twin snakes one sour one sweet they're super chewy they're so good that the twin snakes and a pineapple coconut water that is my during the day munchie my at night munchie like if i'm gonna be at home and get crazy with it is either like ramen with mozzarella cheese in it like thick oh it's probably gonna have what I'm gonna have for lunch like thick cheesy ramen

noodles or a bowl of cereal preferably cocoa pebbles or cinnamon toast crunch or special case strawberries or frosted flakes with real strawberries on top or honey bunches of oats I love cereal okay and last but not least like if I'm getting a late night gas station snack it's going to be um orange juice and cheese it's i don't know why that combination just really works but orange juice and cheese it's just like perfect you're gonna have to brush the fuck out of your teeth afterwards but so fucking good someone asked uh how to interact with friends who are always talking about something negative such as things they hate i can't stand a negative ass bitch oh my god oh my god recently has become my biggest fucking pet peeve if you have nothing

else to talk to me about other than what is going wrong in your life and why you're sad and oh well this is bad and this is bad and this is bad oh my god i cannot it is so draining especially as somebody with a personality disorder where it's like it's a full-time job making sure i am happy and healthy being surrounded by those kinds of people just drain the fuck out of me because then I have to regulate not only my emotions but their emotions when I'm around them and I'm not gonna lie there is nothing better than having a little sesh with your girlies and you know gossiping and chit-chatting like it's good for the soul it's good for getting to know people it's good for bonding it's good for all that but so is sharing joy and if you are incapable

of sharing joy with me you do you cannot have a place next to me i it is the one thing throughout my life that i have realized holy shit i cannot put up with it any longer i can't i can't it is so draining you can literally it feels like a vampire is exiting their body and like emotionally sucking every drop out of you it is it's like if you find those kinds of people around you and like listen it's okay if they just like every once in a while you know we all have to get stuff off our chest we all have pet peeves we all have things happen to us and we want to chit chat and gossip and complain for a second but that can only happen for a second and then we got to move on babes like i cannot with the full-time negativity and you probably can't deal with that either so if

you find yourself surrounded by those kinds of people let go let loose set yourself free okay it's not setting them free it's setting yourself free from the grips that they have on you i love you but yeah pro tip if somebody cannot even see joy within the world they probably aren't going to see joy within you you're not going to be able to fix them focus on you and your happiness do your thing love you hi hannah my name's alex um i'm from australia and i'm also probably part of the small group that actually don't smoke weed while listening to your podcast um I used to but didn't really agree with me and like I don't know my brain just felt so foggy the next day anyway um I was just asking how you um sort of balance your like work life social life and

like romantic life um because I like I have a boyfriend and I'm kind of um struggling to balance seeing him and then also seeing my friends because I used to see them all heaps but now like everyone's in a relationship everyone has jobs and all our like schedules are completely different and I miss them so yeah any tips and tricks please thanks love you um once again you don't to smoke to listen to this podcast truth right here love you shout out to you and realizing you couldn't grow with it that's real growth knowing what's good for you and what's not anyways as a fellow girly in a relationship and also working a full-time job and also just like kind of a maniac and chaos is following me everywhere i go in a healthy way let me knock

on wood be distinctive with the universe um it's kind of hard for my friends also like my partner and my family to like get a hold of me and to schedule things with me because it it is crazy and then you're like working with four friends and you're trying to make it work on four different people's very strange schedule i honestly think like the best way for you to manage like your life in chaos is to be distinctive about you know wanting to spend time with people and then continuously reaching out like low-key harassing them like I have to be harassed to hang out and I know it's like not my fault or whoa it's it is my fault it but it's not my intentions to make it seem like I'm ignoring people or hard to get I'm just really fucking

busy and sometimes I can't hang out last minute um and I would love to and I love my girlies but sometimes it just doesn't work on my schedule um so the best thing that someone can do to really reach me and to make sure something actually happens is for us to come up with like a date and time that works for everybody that's meeting up and to stick to it especially if it's someone you don't see a lot you can't bail on those um experiences in life because they're not going to come as often as you know the experiences that you might have with your boyfriend who you spend a lot more time with and naturally you know it's not a bad thing um it just happens when you get into a relationship but sometimes you can put your boyfriend on the back burner and be like

you know love you babe but i'm going out with the girls tonight you know like we finally have something figured out i'm going out with them i'm gonna have a good time and if they're a good partner they're gonna support you and be like hell is yeah I'm so excited I hope you have a fantastic time I'll see you when it's done you know very simple things like that and I feel like something that allows me more freedom within my relationship is something that we established pretty early on which is like we met and then we really have not spent a night apart from each other so we know like in our hearts we have like this sense of trust that no matter what's going on if someone's out late if someone works late if someone you know whatever it may be we always end

back up with each other at the end of the night like even if i'm coming home at 4 a.m like i'm coming home to him um or like say it is one of those fluke days where i'm not spending the night at his house or he's not spending the night at mine and we are sleeping alone we know that you know it's a relationship and i'm gonna talk to you in the morning and i can go one night a couple night's sleep without seeing you like and if anything it's going to strengthen the relationship a little bit more because you're going to have more time to grow as an individual whether them hanging out at home and spending time self-caring with themselves or you going out with the girls or hanging out with your family whatever it may be um time alone and time to grow in those

different situations is important um but yeah when it comes to friendships and organizing schedules and finding time when everybody can hang out you have to like harass them and be like girls we're hanging out i'm gonna see you we're gonna hang out we're gonna spend time together we gotta make it happen what is your schedule when is the best day it doesn't have to be this week it doesn't have to be next week but let's figure out a day to fucking get together because i miss you and it's it's good to be open and honest about those things as well as an adult like i love you guys and i miss you and i want to see you so reach out be vulnerable um and yeah balance is hard balance is really hard like especially when you get older and you're

like well I have so many responsibilities yeah it's really difficult but it doesn't mean it's impossible it just means you have to find a new way to look at it and to make it happen like I can't bike over to my friend's house anymore like I could when I was in eighth grade sad but I can plan a day where i can fly out and see her and spend a weekend with her and have a fantastic time you know what i mean you gotta make it work you gotta grow with it find a new way to you know make time for the people that you love love you someone asked how to bring your creative ideas to life and i really want to dive into this because this idea and this topic expands way past just creative ideas this could be like a creative idea such as a painting or a job that

you want to get or a place that you want to move or a vacation that you want to go on or a thing that you want to create or you know a long-term goal that you're creating for yourself that you want to come true when it comes up in your head it feels almost impossible to reach but i am here to tell you that you are the only person who can make these things happen for yourself and you are a million percent able to make these things happen for yourself you just have to put one foot in front of the other that's literally all the fuck you have to do and i say that and it sounds so simple because it really is that simple if you sit there and whatever your major goal is like think about your major goal that you want to have whether it's okay i want to you know really move

to a new country i want to go to this place i want to do this thing whatever it may be whatever your personal little dream and goal is maybe big dream not little didn't mean to demean you like that but whatever your dream is the only thing that you have to do is get up and get fucking moving you don't even have to know what the next step is because it will come to you as long as you're moving you will slowly move towards it and then you will know what the next step is and then you will move forward and you'll be a little bit unsure and then you'll find the next step and then you'll be like okay so i got two steps done you know like i'm actually making my way and then you'll move a little faster and then you'll find the next one but if you stay seated trying to

figure out the perfect plan of how to achieve it you will never get up and move because you will never be able to figure out exactly how to do something perfectly before getting up and doing it and if you hold yourself back and you stay seated and you refuse to move until you know every single answer you're gonna be stuck there for the rest of your fucking life it is okay to be wrong it is okay to make the wrong steps it is okay to go to the wrong direction because you are at least up and moving and trying and honestly you're probably gonna learn 10 times more about what you need to do next if you make the wrong decision than if you make the right there's no such thing as a wrong decision honestly it is just a redirection towards where you actually need to

go and what is good for you. And you can't sit your ass down at the wrong step and refuse to move. No, you got to keep moving down the next path, find the next trail, keep pushing. And before you fucking know it, you will be there. You will be there. And I'm literally living testimony to it. Ooh, not me sounding like a preacher testimony you. But it's like I had dreamed of a place of where I'm living. I had dreamed of having a job like what I have. I dreamed of having my own space to create and live and just be my best me and now here i am and i'm like holy shit and like yeah it took three years but in the span of things like it's three years sounds like a lot until you're there and you're like holy shit that time flew past time moves so fucking quick

as long as you are continuously moving along with with it when you are fighting time and you are sitting still and you are refusing to do anything that's when time drags on that's when it like things get hard that's when it feels like you're not accomplishing things because let me tell you this even when i am up moving and maybe doing the wrong things it feels like i am accomplishing more than when i am sitting still and you will never be able to think your way into a right situation you will never be able to figure out the right steps or the right moves until you get up and try it and fucking do it honestly like sometimes you just gotta get up and try put one foot in front of the other but if you are trying to bring that creative idea that dream to life

you have to make active moves throughout your everyday life to bring it into existence i love you you will accomplish everything that you ever possibly dreamed of doing you just gotta try that's it just try just a little a little a little tiny try that's all you gotta do because as soon as you try and you put that first step forward you're gonna get addicted and you're gonna realize i i can really do this i just need to believe in myself and try love you someone asked tips for body dysmorphia i have no idea what i look like great question i feel like i have two major tips which both are gonna be kind of challenges in a sense um a stop looking in the mirror stop looking in the mirror i feel like whenever i have like

my bouts of body dysmorphia it's because i am just completely over analyzing myself and a majority of that over analyzing is happening in front of a mirror so like a if you have to look in the mirror stand like three to six feet away from it and don't spend more than a minute in the mirror unless you're like doing your makeup or something you know like something very simple avoid the mirror honestly because I do feel like a lot of the body dysmorphia that I feel is because I'm over analyzing and over staring and way too hyper focused on my body so that's kind of step number one number two is allowing your body to just exist that is really and that's going to be of course the hardest but just allowing your body to be okay allowing yourself to eat allowing

yourself to take up space allowing yourself to go places allowing yourself to wear what you want allowing yourself to and I think this was kind of the biggest thing for me but just like be almost like naked in my space I never allowed myself to be naked and then once I allowed myself to and kind of focused on that in a sense of like my body is neither good nor bad it's just it is just a body and there's no such thing as a good or bad body it is just a vessel for us to be contained in and you cannot shame yourself into loving yourself and you cannot you know hate yourself into a better person the best thing you can really do is just allow yourself to exist and be and I think in combination of just like okay we're gonna avoid the over analyzing while

also in conjunction we are going to allow our bodies to exist within our own space we can start there where we're most comfortable, um, within your room, within your home, whatever it may be, um, allowing yourself to be naked in that space. Those two things, those were two things that really, really helped me. Um, and then a slight third step, once you kind of feel like you're getting on a better path and you want to start focusing on your body in a healthy way and not completely ignoring your body, which are kind of two tips that I just gave you. But focusing on your body in a healthy way is to work out. And I know you're like, bitch, I don't want to fucking work out. That might make me spiral again. Find a workout that works for you. Maybe it's just like

doing stretching, YouTube stretching videos in your living room. Like I'm not saying you have to go to a crazy soul cycle class, like allow yourself to feel your body and be in your body for a change without it having to be perfect or without it having to look a certain way or show up a certain way in certain clothes allow your yourself to feel your body and the way it stretches and moves the way your muscles get sore in that sort of sense because I feel like it really triggers something in the brain to stop hyper focusing on your body as like an accessory and it has to be a perfect accessory like a brand new handbag but instead is like an actual like moving body with moving parts and it's way more complex than just a handbag and in fact deserves

more respect than that as well so a few tips I hope that helps I love you you will get through it and with anything if you feel like you can't tackle it on your own there are people out there who are wanting to help you and help you get better and I do think seeking like either a therapist or anything like that can be really really wonderful especially at the beginning of your journey um of getting better i love you someone asked how to be more optimistic and i feel like the innate truth is that being pessimistic and holding anger towards everything takes more work than experiencing joy we as humans are naturally like joyful creatures we want to find joy we want to follow joy we want to bring happiness into our own lives like it is a urge

that we have so release yourself from the holds of that sadness and that and that you know pessimism understand that there is brightness and joy and happiness in things and in order to find that you really need to start small I feel like when people are super pessimistic which like I'm not saying oh when people are pessimistic like no no I have lived the pessimistic lifestyle like from the ages of 16 to like 20 I was just like major sad so I feel like I was that way because I saw or like i thought that joy could only be found in big experiences because that's kind of what i was fed on social media like oh i'm not in italy right now so i don't deserve to be joyful or i don't have uh i'm not living in a mansion so i don't deserve to be joyful or i don't have all

the nicest things that everybody around me has so i don't deserve to be joyful but if you live your life trying to find joy and only those kinds of things you will constantly be chasing and searching for it and never actually have it you have to start by finding joy in these small things like for me my cup of coffee in the morning being able to read a little book on my couch laying in the sun a good meal a good sandwich oh my god um when i have time to myself to just like listen to music and do my makeup when i have time to play music and do art when i happen to put together a really good outfit um when my plants are doing well um little things like that those are the things that you have to seek joy in because they are honestly in abundance around you

all the time you just have to open your eyes to it the way the sun hits a ray of grass as you're driving down the road the beautiful views you have all around you of the forests and the earth flourishing this summer um just there is so much joy and happiness to be found you have to allow yourself to find it and allow yourself to seek those things and stop seeking them in these high praise high validation things because they are going to be so hard for you to come by and so hard for you to get like i get it when i was 16 like i thought oh i wasn't deserving of joy because i'm not rich like kylie jenner and i don't have the newest pair of lulu lemons actually it's probably miss me's jeans when i was that age um and i you know i don't look like the perfect 16

year olds i see on social media but i was holding myself to such high standards like yeah that's the majority of the fucking world girl like learn to enjoy a toaster strudel learn to enjoy your childhood backyard learn to enjoy the mundane aspect of driving with your friend to school in the morning there's so much joy to be found around you you have to open your eyes and look for it so I challenge you and this is like a real challenge every week at the end of the week whatever the end of the week maybe maybe or even just the end of the day write down three to five things that you are grateful for three to five things that you found joy in in that day and i guarantee you will find at least three so i say three to five you can do fucking 10 20 however

many you want but if you do this every day or at least every week it will retrain your mind to be constantly looking out for those things so then you can write them down later in the day and it is a very easy quick mind shift of being able to go from oh I can't find anything to oh now I got to fill in my thing for the end of the day so I'm going to be looking for it and trying to find it and trying to create moments of joy within my life and it is a fantastic practice for anybody who is feeling you know a little down and out but I love you you are so deserving of joy and peace and happiness and prosperity and you will find it no matter what you may think but yeah practice a little gratitude list a little joy list the end of the day and look for the small things okay

because there are so many of them around you you just have to look hey hannah so i'm sitting in my room post breakup um I broke up with my boyfriend last week we dated for two years and I find it a little hard to um find out the true feelings of what I like of how I feel right now um I feel like I feel a little afraid to be by myself and to sit by myself but like I also feel excited to meet new people like I met this guy and he seems pretty fucking cool and I also want to like I find myself wanting to hook up with people too like I want to get my body count higher but I don't know if that's the avoiding my feelings part of me or if that's like genuinely wanting to have fun so I need your thoughts and opinions I don't think there's one specific

right way to heal and I feel like every breakup is going to need a kind of new way of healing yourself like with my first one it was very much so like a heartbreak situation there wasn't anything inherently bad I mean looking back but I was just so in love and I thought we were having a great time and then you know heart gets broken and for me the best thing that I really needed in that time was to just like focus on me and figure out what the fuck I want in a relationship and really just evolve myself into a better person and discover more about myself as an individual and that came from a lot of time with friends and time having fun and time spent with a majority of just me and friends then I met a guy and my life went bad again and I met my extremely toxic ex

and after we broke up what I needed to heal me after being in such a state of seclusion and scaredness and with withholded from the world for like years I needed to get out and be crazy like that's what I needed to heal and like was I making the most intelligent decisions probably not but was I having a good fucking time absolutely do I regret it a little bit yeah but I know I had fun and I know it was good for me and it was what I needed before my next relationship so if you need to go out and have fun and party and hang out with friends um go for it I don't think there is such thing as a wrong way of healing as long as you are feeling those emotions fully and showing up for yourself and being there for yourself and you know following those gut

instincts in a sense of I'm not running away from myself I'm running towards myself and sometimes it looks a little crazy to run towards myself and that's okay um but it does sound like maybe you don't need the the first option which is you know the I'm gonna focus on me and self-care and like celibate and you know all that energy although you can mix the energies it sounds like you know maybe you need to go out and experience and learn more about yourself um and how you interact with in the world and have a little bit of fun. But I do think it's important to not make an emphasis on having men and boys and new hookups or girls and new relationships be your healing. Because healing doesn't come from that. Of course, you know, you can have those experiences. But you

shouldn't make it about that um and you shouldn't dedicate this period in your life to a new situationship that you become enthralled in or a new hookup that you become obsessed with or whatever it may be really make sure and ask yourself like okay who am i focusing on right now and if it's not you it's the wrong answer okay because after a fresh breakup the one thing you really need to be focused on focusing on yourself or focusing on is yourself and what you want and desire not what they want and what will make them happy what you need and you want in order to grow and become the best person that you could possibly be love you someone said i'm 20 and i have no idea who i am or where the fuck my life is going please help you don't need to

be scared because that's exactly how you're supposed to feel you're like bitch what yeah no you're supposed to feel like that the adults are pressuring you and people around you are lying to you whatever blah blah blah you're supposed to really not know who the fuck you are because you're a brand new adult in the world and you're basically like a little baby out there and you're taking your first steps and you need to go out and make experiences and meet new people and try new things and then you'll figure that stuff out but you cannot do that without any real experience as a adult within the real world you're not even 21 yet babes it's okay to not know who you are but open the space for discovering okay open the space for learning about yourself open the space

for discovering what you might want to do once again creating your dream life creating your goals bringing them into reality if you sit around and thank yourself into a good situation you're never going to be able to thank yourself into the right one you have to get out there and get like real world experience in life to be able to understand a little bit more about yourself and understand a little bit more about what you want to do so it's okay you're not lost you're just discovering okay someone said hannah i just discovered my first vibrator i can't believe i haven't sooner tips or fave vibes that is so fucking funny i've had one since i was like maybe 17 and i think that's because my friend yes my friend in high school turned 18 before um

everyone else like before everyone else in our friend group so for a secret santa she bought everybody vibrators because she could go to the sex store before any of us else or any of us could this was before amazon so we were just like wow what a queen she really put me on shout out to her um but then after that again one of the best gifts you can honestly get your friend is like a vibrator like funny gag gift vibrator going through a breakup vibrator living her best life girl bossing it vibrator you know what i mean my second vibrator my other best friend sent me for like my 21st birthday because she was like girl I got this and it changed my life my first one was like one of those little bullet ones because like we had high school money and she wasn't about about to

buy us all like nice ones like it was just like the $10 ones you could get at the sex shop and then my friend amazon primed me one for my 21st birthday and it's like a wand one which I honestly really enjoy and then my most recent one I um got for myself and it is like the like suction ones and honestly I say just don't get the suction ones because they're like too good like you gotta have sensitivity down there babes too good the best thing that you really maybe need is like a wand or just like a little vibrating one I think those are the best but yeah um fantastic amazing don't use them too often once again you will you'll like lose sensitivity um don't get the crazy intense ones because once again you will lose sensitivity but i think they're fantastic

for solo play and i think they're fantastic for also bringing into the bedroom spicing it up like um the vibrations feel good not only on you but also like for the man so or another woman oh my god fantastic beautiful sharing is caring love you this is so fucking funny oh my god okay my girl you said just moved in with an artist who wants to display their mid art in the living room how do i say no so when it's a shared space i feel like there has to be kind of like a group agreement on the decorations so maybe just be like hey i have a better idea for what could go here maybe you could hang that in your room love you that's really all you can say you can't say their art is bad like they're gonna freak out like just be like hey i think i

have something else here and then go amazon prime like a poster that you really enjoy and a frame or like a plant that you can put there i don't know whatever it may be sometimes you really just have to have like plan number two that's way better so they just like have to agree but no i don't think you should tell them their art is mid like you just got to be like supportive and be like that would look really good in your room or whatever that's funny though but yeah you just have to have another plan for the space um that you can both agree on and that might be better anyways love you anyways i think that's really it happy fucking fourth of july happy i'm gonna go get drunk and lay in the sun and eat a hot dog day that's really how i look at

it look at pretty fireworks what's better than that you know what i mean i love you all so much i hope you have a fantastic rest of your week i can't wait to catch up with you guys next tuesday on all my little adventures in um arizona my friend just texted me i think we're going jet skiing so that's gonna be super interesting i can't wait to go out have fun connect with old friends um and fill you in on everything that's going on in my life remember to focus on yourself be there for yourself look for the small things enjoy life a little bit because it's meant to be enjoyed and lived and you can create anything that you possibly want for yourself i love you all so very fucking much and i will see you all next tuesday